USS SereniTREE: A Tale of Two Trees by TheGreyJedi

*PR and Zoe-Clone #1 continue to fight, when suddenly, Zoe is bashed in the ribs by...something evil, and she is knocked against the railing of the balcony, not to mention she knocked over one of the mops too. The railing brakes and the Zoe-clone and auto-mop go over the edge.*

No!

*PR stops fighting and looks over at the raling, with the gap, and the space that the Zoe-clone once stood.* Damnit!!

*PR's face lights up in surprise, as the Zoe-Clone rises up into the air, she is sitting on the mop, that has somehow learnt to fly. Her hair has come loose, and is now blowing in the breeze, and she is smiling.*

Zoe-Clone #1: Huh, being a pilot isn't that hard...I knew he was being a drama queen.

*PR smiles*

*He jumps off the balcony and hoves next to Zoe-Clone #1*

Quick! *Points* To the General Lee!!

*Much flying later...*

*PR and Zoe-Clone #1, who have now been joined by Zoe-Clone #2, hordes of kissies, and some yeti, are now on board the General Lee.*

*PR hits the speaker button, and now everyone nearbu the General Lee can hear him* C'mon y'all, lets be gettin outta here! Im'ma go loopy soon! Whyme I talken like thiss?

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Monday, July 18, 2005 5:08 AM

On the Adelai Niska:

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
A few button presses later and the ship is righted, shrunk, and zipping through the False Tree to the Real Tree…not knowing both Statics were onboard the false tree.*

The Statics run in just in time to see TWG's shuttle shrink and fly away. They wave their arms, but it is in vain. DarkStatic turns to Static and smirks.

"Three words: REAR VIEW MIRROR!!!!!" Static nods his head, then turns to his darker half.

"Can you do that wierd phasy-thingy to get us back?"

Dark Static looks surprised, "Oh yeah. Duh." With that, he grabs Static and the two of them shimmer out of existence and find themselves. . .

On the SereniTREE

The Statics shimmer to existence and are bowled over by SimonWhho, who was barrelling down a corridor as fast as he could. The three untangle themselves and the Time Lord quickly explains what he's been doing with TWG's evil clone. Dark Static nods.

"Of course. The womenfolk couldn't be split. . .so TWG's dark half isn't a half at all. It's. . ."

"Expendable." Static finishes grimly. He draws a revolver and checks the load. "She's probably on her way to the hangar to try to bail out of here."

A look of concern crosses Dark Static's face, "Which is exactly where our REAL beloved will be arriving any minute. . .unsuspecting of an ambush." The two Statics turn and sprint towards the hangar as fast as they can."

As they near the hanger they slow, trying to quiet their footsteps as much as possible. They arrive just in time to see EvilTWG duck into the hangar. Quietly, they slip around the corner and spot her taking cover behind bins full of repair parts, a large spanner clutched in her hands as a weapon. DarkStatic makes a few hand signals to Static and they spread out, creeping silently into position on either side of her, boxing her in.

EvilTWG watches intently, waiting for TWG and company to return to the hangar when a familiar voice sounds behind her.

"Honey, I'm home!"

EvilTWG spins to see DarkStatic standing behind her, leaning casually against the bulkhead.

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Monday, July 18, 2005 2:49 PM

* A spot of light appears on the wall of the False General Lee, which is inside the Common Room of the False Sereni-Tree. It expands to become a ring of fire surrounding a dark void. From this hole in reality walks TheRealMe, carrying Emma, who is still sort of freaked out by the whole evil twin separation thing. He sets her down in a chair and looks around the inside of the shuttle. There is PsychicRiver, a pair of Zoe-clones, some kissies, some Yeti, Jake7, Montanagirl, Jazaf, and a slumbering Mai and Ebonezer.*

Hmmm… a bit crowded.

Hey, PsychicRiver, glad you’re here. Can you use your powers to mentally track down anyone else left on the False Sereni-Tree before it explodes or something? MontanaGirl, Jazaf, Jake7, could you keep an eye on the rest so that nobody leaves?

* Assuming that PR agrees, the pair walk out of the False Lee’s hatch to start their work. *

Quote:
Rat wrote:
Well DarkRat, it been nice knowing you, but you know how this must end.

*The two Rats touch their right index fingers together, there is a flash of light.....and only one Rat remains!*

Oh, Hello, Rat. Say, why don’t you get this shuttle fired up and ready to go back to the Sereni-Tree? PsychicRiver and I should only be a few minutes.

Quote:
SoulofSerenity wrote:
There is an explosion of flame, and Soul leaps through several alternate realities until he finds himself again on the false SereniTREE, his bow out and ready.

Oh, hi Soul! There you are! By your determined expression, I can see that you are about to do something both impressive and permanent to the False Sereni-Tree. Might I suggest that you wait a bit so that PsychicRiver and I can get everyone off this Flying Dutchman?

* TheRealMe studies Soul carefully, then calls back over his shoulder. *

Uh, hey, Rat! Why don’t you take off now? I can get the last few back home with my dimensional portals!

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Monday, July 18, 2005 2:50 PM

* ThatWeirdGirl is piloting the Admiral Nelson out of the False Sereni-Tree toward the True Sereni-Tree’s hanger bay (unaware of the drama developing there between the EvilWeirdGirl and the two Statics). Next to TWG sits Bride5, absently petting the kissies which have jumped up in her lap. *

Bride5, uneasily: That’s some nice flying, WeirdGirl. Hey, I wonder if you could teach me how to be a pilot? I almost wrecked the Admiral back there, and I’m REALLY sorry about that, but if I could get trained, then I wouldn’t mess it up again.

* Behind that pair sit Bride6, XanderLHarris, and Bluefishie. *

Bride6, excited: Ooooh! Bluefishie! I just LOVE your idea of the fountain. I’ll help! Tell us more. You know, I’m good friends with Jet… she’s Bride4… and I bet we can get her to help re-route the plumbing! Maybe the Kaylee-clone can help, too! This is going to be SO COOL!

* From the controls of the Admiral Nelson ThatWeirdGirl and Bride5 can see the General Grant fall into formation. Through the Grant’s windows, Bride3 and Bride4 can be seen waving. *

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005 1:15 PM

CALLMESERENITY

*For the second time in recent history, Serenity wakes up in her own bed, unaware of how she got there.*

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." ~Jerry Garcia

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005 5:22 PM

backtrack just a bit

*Soulevilclonetwg runs to twg’s bunk. She fumbles around in twg’s toolbox, she finds some handy dandy little needle nosed pliers and begins to work on the neck collar. After a bit of tinkering with a small flathead, the collar clicks open and falls to the floor. She slips on an spare set of Kaylee-alls. Before she leaves the room she remembers she may need some protection. She opens Static’s gun safe and makes her selection…*

Off to the hanger, bwahaha.

----

Sure thing Bride5. I’d be happy to teach you. It’s pretty easy. This thing pretty much flies itself. What with our special physics here in the clubhouse world. Why don’t you handle the landing and unshrinking stuff.

*twg lets 5 take over, offering little suggestions when needed. Five opens the shuttle doors to allow the crew to debark.*

Well done! Why don’t you let TRM and the rest know we’re okay. *twg exits into the hanger…*

---

*Startled by the DarkStatic, SECtwg laughs.* Glad you could make it. Now if you don’t mind, dear, I have something I need to do. *as she steps back, she collides with Static’s chest* Oh, you’re here too? …

*twg sees one of the Statics, doesn’t much care which one since it means they’re both okay, and runs in his direction* Soul is okay… *she stops dead when she hears her voice and she stares into her eyes…twg’s voice turns cold and hard* Who are you?

I’m not you, thank god, I’d thought they’d have taken care of you on the other tree. I gues I’ll just have to deal with you *she motions at the two Statics and twg* lot myself.

I don’t think so. *twg drops a small steel wrist cuff onto the floor, the Statois are momentarily distracted…with the distraction, the twgs lunge for each other.* Don’t you dare touch them. *twg decks SECtwg* What else have you done? *twg and soulevilclonetwg fight ala Kirk and Martia*

I played *boom* a little *groan* tie me down game with Simon. *crash* When I kill you, he’ll crack *kapow* then at least one of the plans will be a success.

*crack* Plan? You think you actually had a plan? *smack* There was no plan *twg wipes a drop of bllod from her lip…it’s not her own bllod* only a disgruntled inner voice. Have you noticed *SEC falls to the floor* you lack a few of my talents? How’d you like to meet the dark me now?

*as twg closes in, SEC suddenly points a beretta92 in twg’s face.* Heh. You think you can be more evil than me? I was created evil. The darkness was fused into my very being. This *indicating the weapon* will be easy to use. Are YOU ready? *there is a tussle, twg does not fear the gun, it hits the floor*

You forget, I’ve faced worse than you. Remember those strong dark arms that held us down? *she straddles SEC* You remember not being able to breathe? *twg twists SEC’s arms up and over the clone’s head* Do you remember the pain as your head bounced off the floor? The chill in the room? The darkness? The feral look in his eyes? *SEC trembles. That look is in twg’s eyes* Would you play nice? *SEC shakes her head* I didn’t think so.

*This time the barrel is in the clone’s face. twg stands and steps back.* Lose your resolve?

Never.

*the resulting echo lures Bride5 out of the shuttle*

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005 6:04 PM

* Bride5 and Bride6 stand at the exit ramp of the Admiral Nelson. Bride5 recoils in horror at the scene before her, hands covering her mouth to keep her from screaming. Bride6 faints and falls to the deck. *

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005 6:58 PM

* Back on the False Sereni-Tree TheRealMe and PsychicRiver unceremoniously dump EvilCozen into the trunk of the False General Lee. TheRealMe slams it shut. *

Well! That's the last of them! We've collected everyone on the False Sereni-Tree.

* TheRealMe and PsychicRiver enter the False General Lee. TheRealMe pauses at the hatch before it closes. *

What about you, Soul? Do you want to come with us, or do you have other business here that we shouldn't be around to experience?

Oh, Rat! Thanks for waiting, but you can start the engines!

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005 8:54 PM

RAT

*Starts engines.*

Acquisitions Officer - Uss SereniTREE.

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005 10:59 PM

*Goes over to control desk and leans against it, excitedly watching out the window!! Aha! *Laughs* It's just a ride!

*Turkey*

We won!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 12:27 AM

*rushes down into the hanger*

Oh. Well, I'm sorry but I'm not cleaning that mess up. I'm a doctor, not a janitor. twg! You're back with us! Yay!

*spots not one but two Statics watching on*

Well, we can hug later. In the meantime, it would probably be a good idea if we got this ship out of here, the fake tree is set to explode and we do not want to be around when that happens.

Plus I think my evil counterpart is still over there. I've got lots of tricks up my sleeves but no teleportation devices plus we've been watching the fake tree carefully and no hostile have come over here yet. So he'll be trapped when it explodes. Don't worry, I'm used to having bits of me removed, I'll be able to handle it. It'll hurt for a while, but I'll survive. Trust me, you don't want me to confront him.

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 3:00 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
What about you, Soul? Do you want to come with us, or do you have other business here that we shouldn't be around to experience?

Soul smiles and steps back from the False General Lee.

"You'd better leave. There's something I have to do to finish all of this."

With that, Soul turns, not watching the shuttle leave, and heads towards the brigde.

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 4:41 AM

* TheRealMe salutes SoulofSerenity. *

Very well, Soul. As you say. Remember, there are still a pair of shuttles and some one-person speeder pods in the hanger bay on top of the South Wing. We'll wait for you as long as we can. Longer, if you give us a signal.

* TheRealMe closes the False Lee's hatch and finds a chair in which to relax. *

When you're ready, Rat.

* Rat, always ready, guns the engines and the False Lee leaps into the upper common room, shrinking as it goes. *

* Before long, Rat finds a way out through a breach made by the hull-eating Cozenroaches. In open space, Rat allows the False Lee to grow to its normal size. *

* Soon, the True General Lee approaches, doing barrel rolls. River-clone is at its controls. Her voice comes over the speakers: *

River-clone: Found you!

* There is a small jolt as River-clone maneuvers the True Lee over to lightly impact the False Lee.

River-clone: Tag! You're it! Ha ha! Let's race!

* River-clone rockets off toward the Sereni-Tree. *

Uh, you know Rat, she's really not right in the head. You shouldn't feel the need to...

* TheRealMe can say no more, suddenly crushed into his chair under massive G forces. *

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 4:53 AM

* Jet pilots the General Grant into the hanger bay of the Sereni-Tree. There are two more shuttles approaching the ship, speeding neck-and-neck. *

Pssst! Hey, SimonWho. There are a couple of possibilities concerning your evil twin:

He is lost with the False Sereni-Tree.

He escapes using another shuttle, speeder pod, or False Blue Box.

He came over to the Real Sereni-Tree using his evil twin powers, like several of the evil twins seem to be able to do.

He is in the trunk of the False General Lee.

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 5:18 AM

Well, we've been monitoring traffic from the fake tree, no unauthorised vehicles so far, plus even EvilSoul couldn't duplicate my blue box, it's unique. Plus I don't have teleportation powers so I'm sure he doesn't either.

Somebody check the boot of the fake General Lee would you? (He would hide in the boot, rather than the trunk, as a point of principle.)

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 5:47 AM

Once back on the real SereniTREE...

*PR wanders arond the hanger bay, and then hears a doorbell.*

Oh, *Wanders over to the airlock, then keys the button to permit entry*

*Moments later, the door opens, and seven characters wonder aboard. One is another Mal-Clone, and the others...well they could only really be described as the Malcolmettes...*

Um, hi?

*They all aimlessly wander around the bay spouting Mal quotes.*

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 7:21 AM

CALLMESERENITY

I nearly choked to death on my lunch just now, I'll have you know, PR! Man that's funny!

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." ~Jerry Garcia

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 9:08 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:
I nearly choked to death on my lunch just now, I'll have you know, PR! Man that's funny!

Well, I cant take the credit...SimonWho just posted it on another forum, and I thought they'd make the perfect addition to our crew. Hope he doesn't mind!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 9:48 AM

EMMA

*Emma wakes up*

Aaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhh.... what the hell are they? Oh God, did I hit my head when I fell I can see lots of the same manpersonthing...oh shit and I swore I had two ships...I must have really fainted. Is that pretty doctor around somewhere to take a look. Oh, and I am sure I was supposed to talk to Rat about something...

*Emma falls back on the floor, her head lands on TRMs shoe and she starts snoring.*

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 10:31 AM

CALLMESERENITY

umm..did Emma just go crazy and fall asleep?

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." ~Jerry Garcia

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 12:59 PM

*twg gently lays the gun at Static’s feet. She notices the Brides, Dr. Whom, and the rest moving about and talking, but she ignores them all. She leaves the hanger without a word to anyone. She stops by the bar and grabs a bottle of Skyy, Grey Goose, Ketel, and Finlandia. She shuffles off to an unknown corner of the ship to get a little numb.*

Why didn’t *swig* I just push her out the airlock? *gulp, gulp* Wouldn’t have been nearly as messy. *gulp* I didn’t realize I was so evil. *guzzle* She would have hurt someone right? *next bottle* Would she?

*after emptying the contents of all the bottles into her stomach, she curls into the fetal position and dreams of hula hoops and lucky charms*

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 1:39 PM

*twg stirs as she hears someone enter the lounge*

Hey twg, don't be too hard on yourself. She was evil and if this adventure has taught us anything, it's that evil must be confronted, face on. If we try to conceal it or hide away from it, it'll only grow.

*twg nods forlornly*

I mean, take me for example. You don't get into medicine unless you really want to help people. But sometimes you've got to ask yourself, what about all the people you didn't help? Couldn't you have done something more? Tried harder?

You have thoughts like that and you can either deal with them or bury them. And if you bury them, they'll rot away inside you. And then one day, something or somebody will dig them up again and, well, payback can be a bitch. And so can I.

*produces large firearm*

Don't worry sweetness, you're just bait. There's something I've got to do before I can play any more games with you.

*activates ship's intercom*

Hello? Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3. Now that I have your full attention, I have a question to ask.

I'm sorry, was that a little loud?

This is for my weaker half. I'm in the lounge. I have your friend and a very large gun.

Come alone. Come unarmed. Come ready to die.

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 2:26 PM

PIFFLE101

"Come on. We gotta get there some day. Did you just piss on my new *leather* boots?!?"
*Piffleponie neighs innocently*
"Just for that. You dont get the pasture today! Two can play that game"

*And off Piffle draged her pony into the barn...*

I dont wear underwear...You know that...I mean!?!

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 5:20 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
*produces large firearm*

*holding her head in her hands, twg mumbles* bloody hell

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 5:34 PM

MAI

*Realizes she has been asleep for an unaturally long time and wakes up just in time to enjoy the trip home*

I'm HUNGRY!

I'm bored!

Ohh and I really gotta pee.

ARE WE THERE YET?

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 5:45 PM

**** BACKING UP A BIT, AFTER TWG FACED HER EVIL HALF, BUT BEFORE THE ARRIVAL OF THE MALCOMETTES ****

* Thinking fast, Bride5 recovers quickly enough to cover Bluefishies’s eyes so that she does not see the alarming scene of the EvilWeirdGirl. She and XanderLHarris excort Bluefishie out of the hanger bay. Bride6 is left on the deck next to the Admiral Nelson where she fainted. The Ebo Golem and a herd of kissies also come off of the Nelson. The Ebo Golem stands there, waiting. *

* The hatch of the recently landed General Grant opens, and out comes Bride2, Bride3, Bride4, a pair of Zoe-clones, some Yeti, and some Windmill Giants. *

* The two General Lees race to the Sereni-Tree’s hanger bay. They are dangerously close when their retro thrusters blast at full power. They land with a jolt, one touching down bare moments before the other. The techno-magical force fields of TheGreyJedi barely absorb and bleed off the kinetic energy and keep the atmosphere intact. Hatches open and passengers disembark from both shuttles. *

* Rat strolls off the False General Lee, a smug look on his face. *

* River-clone skips up from the True General Lee, followed by Nugget. She squints and sticks out her tongue at Rat. Then she smiles and giggles. *

River-clone: Two out of three?

* Rat is followed out of the False Lee by a large number of others, some with an uneasy walk, some being carried, and others dropping to kiss the ground. They are: TheRealMe, PsychicRiver, Montanagirl, Mai, Jazaf, Ebonezer, a pair of Zoe-Clones, Emma, Jake7, a few yeti, and some kissies. TheRealMe pops the truck latch of the False Lee. *

TheRealMe: Here, anybody want to fuse with their evil twin, now? Everybody’s off the False Sereni-Tree now except Soul. Hmmm… you know, we really don’t need TWO General Lees. Maybe we should rename one. How about the Napoleon Bonaparte?

Zoe-clone1: Sir, there’s a problem.

TheRealMe, pondering: Well, then, maybe the Alexander the Great, or the…

Zoe-clone1: No, Sir, I meant…

* It is at that time that TheRealMe notices the fallen form of the EvilWeirdGirl. *

TheRealMe: Oh, NO!

* TheRealMe runs over. *

TheRealMe: PsychicRiver, is this our WeirdGirl or the evil one?

PsychicRiver, concentrating: I can feel the presence of ThatWeirdGirl nearby. This must be the other one.

TheRealMe: Whew! That’s a relief! Ebo Golem, come here to help me. Bring a mop.

Zoe-clone1: Actually, Sir, that isn’t the problem that I was talking about.

* TheRealMe looks up from the EvilWeirdGirl, to see two pairs of Zoe-clones staring at each another. *

All four Zoe-clones say at once: What now, Sir?

Suddenly, Nugget the meteor troll excitedly runs up and bowls over TheRealMe, then bends down to lick his face.

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 7:38 PM

*** THE REAL ME'S TIME MOVES FORWARD TO THIS UNFORGETTABLE MOMENT ***

Quote:
Originally posted by PsychicRiver:
*PR wanders arond the hanger bay, and then hears a doorbell.*

Oh, *Wanders over to the airlock, then keys the button to permit entry*

*Moments later, the door opens, and seven characters wonder aboard. One is another Mal-Clone, and the others...well they could only really be described as the Malcolmettes...*

Um, hi?

*They all aimlessly wander around the bay spouting Mal quotes.*

TheRealMe is stunned at the sight and forgets about the extra Zoes, the fate of EvilWeirdGirl, the meteor troll's affections, and the fact that Emma may still be sleeping on his foot.

"Everyone wants a pifflepony, deep down." — Piffle101

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 8:41 PM

*** THE REAL ME'S TIME HAS CAUGHT UP TO "NOW" ***

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
*activates ship's intercom*

Hello? Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3. Now that I have your full attention, I have a question to ask.

I'm sorry, was that a little loud?

This is for my weaker half. I'm in the lounge. I have your friend and a very large gun.

Come alone. Come unarmed. Come ready to die.

* TheRealMe is startled into action. He pushes Nugget away and stands. *

EvilSimonWho! He has somebody! Go unarmed, huh?

* With purpose in his step, TheRealMe strides toward the hanger bay exit to the common room. As he moves he unlatches belts of weapons and ammo and drops them in his wake. A spam gun drops. Then a high-tech squirt gun. Then a Cozen-katana. From a pocket, he pulls out a small object that fits comfortably in his hand. *

* TheRealMe moves through the hatch and looks down into the common room from the upper balcony. *

Hmmm… nothing looks out of place.

* TheRealMe speaks quietly into the com-link in his hand: *

Computer, display coordinates of the origin point of the last ship-wide broadcast.

* TheRealMe stares intently at the device’s small screen. *

Hmmm… looks like he’s in the messhall / lounge.

* TheRealMe puts his com-link back in its pocket and takes the nearby elevator down to the floor of the common room. He quietly makes his way across the large common room, past the bar, past the video arcade and up to the entrance to the lounge. He peers through and sees that it is ThatWeirdGirl that EvilSimonWho has as a captive. TheRealMe takes one step into the room, careful to not block the door. He calls across the large room: *

EvilSimonWho! Sorry if I arrived before your target. But I have had quite enough of this! You will not endanger any member of this crew! Let me describe to you the best possible outcome that you can expect from these events: You will surrender your weapons and await imprisonment in the brig until such a time as we can get your counterpart to re-absorb you!

* TheRealMe stands there a moment, unarmed, with hands outstretched and clearly visible at his sides. *

If you wish to try my patience, I can think up a worse ending for you. MUCH worse! So, what will it be?

* TheRealMe realizes that normally he would be FAR more diplomatic. However, he has had an exceptionally rough day... *

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 9:02 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:

If you wish to try my patience, I can think up a worse ending for you. MUCH worse! So, what will it be?

There are two sets of loud 'clicks' and TRM and EvilSimonWho both snap their heads around at the sound. TWG doesn't need to look, because she already knows. Twin Statics have taken up positions in the room and have twin sets of revolvers levelled at EvilSimonWho.

DarkStatic: Now then, Doc...
Static: It would seem that we have you
DS: a bit outflanked. Just ONE of us is
Static: MORE than fast enough to drop you where you stand. . .and since I'm good enough to hit...
DS: A gnat's left wing at 100 meters, you know I can hit something larger and closer. . .
Static: like maybe. . .your knees. It's over, Doc. You're the last of the dark halves running free. Time to give up. Think about it. I'm willing to ugly you up just for indulging in kissy face with my signifigant other. . .how much tolerance do you think I'm gonna have for something like this?

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 9:12 PM

(* Actually, TheRealMe does not need to turn his head. He had been expecting Static... though a second might surprise him. *)

EvilSimon! Static, by the way, was part of a number of those "worse" scenarios that I mentioned before. Come, now, you are an intelligent man. Back inside of SimonWho, you may hope to escape again. But if you continue down this path, what hope is there for you?

* TheRealMe forces himself to calm his thoughts. *

Now, let me have that gun!

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005 10:23 PM

*PR instructs the four Zoe-clones to tie up and gag EvilTWG...and as always, the answer in chorus.*

Zoe-Clones: Yes sir.

*Annoyed looks are exchanged between them.*

*The Malcolmettes continued to wander around the bay, and the Mal clone seems to have entered into a conversation with the Kaylee-Malcolmette, before stopping the passing Jayne-Malcolmette.*

Mal-Malcomette: How drunk was I last night?
Jayne-Malcolmette: Hey people love those dolls!
Kaylee-Malcolmette: Everybody's makin a fuss.

*PR quickly makes his way up the stairs, and exits the hanger bay...once he nears the lounge he stops...*

Concentrating...

*PR closes his eyes and his feet slowly rise off the floor... his body begins to turn so that he is hovering vertically, he hovers there for a moment, before his eyes open and he rises up towards the ceiling, rotating as he goes, and he comes to a stop, when his knees, stomache, elbows and hands gently touch the ceiling.*

*PR smiles and looks forward, and starts to crawl, upside-down on the ceiling, towards the lounge.*

***

*PR has by now made his way into the lounge, un-noticed, and is now, still upside-down on the ceiling, above the rising tension.*

*Whispers slowly to himself, bemused.*

Too many guns...danger.

*PR telekinetically slithers acorss the ceiling, and then lands silently behind TRM*

*He stands up, and focuses. The gun-weilding hands of Static, DarkStatic and EvilSimonWhow start to shake unsteadily, slowly at first, but then faster.*

*PR steps out from behing TRM and the three guns fly out of the lads hands and his hands snap up and catch them.*

*Juggling one, he spins the other two and smiles*

Whose ya daddy? Huh, huh? Say it? Whose the daddy!

*Shoves all the guns inside his belt*

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 1:26 AM

Oh, threats of violence. How very uncivilised. Really my dear, you should teach your friends to be better hosts.

Come now, this is about to resolve itself but probably not how you think. You see, everyone else beat their dark sides because they kept in touch with them. Your doctor didn't think he could so I've been left alone. And that's made me stronger than him. We will combine into one only it'll be me in charge and he'll be buried somewhere below.

You didn't think everyone would get through this unscathed, a mega-happy ending for one and all? Please.

*footsteps*

I'm here.

Obviously. Tell your friends to lower their weapons.

Static, TRM, you need to put your guns down. You will shoot him first but he will kill twg. I know it.

Good. Now... tell them who is going to win?

You would. I didn't pay enough attention to you. You've gotten too strong.

Ha. Weak and defeatist. I've been a step ahead of you all the way and now I get to administer your final failure in person.

Yeah. You seem smarter than me. More powerful. Tougher. But there's something I've got that someone like you will never have, the most important thing in the verse.

*raises one curious eyebrow*

People worth dying for.

*pulls out a needle and drives it straight into his own heart*

No! You...

*they both slump to the ground, dying*

Wait until... he's gone... then... revi...

*his heart stops*

*the evilSW lays still, his face contorted with hatred. As his counterpart dies, his body, a mere personification, fades out of sight*

*the real SW remains on the floor, unmoving, his eyes staring blindly at the stars*

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 3:03 AM

EMMA

*Emma lifts her head*

Did I miss something?

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 3:20 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
*pulls out a needle and drives it straight into his own heart*

No! You...

*they both slump to the ground, dying*

Wait until... he's gone... then... revi...

*his heart stops*

*the evilSW lays still, his face contorted with hatred. As his counterpart dies, his body, a mere personification, fades out of sight*

*the real SW remains on the floor, unmoving, his eyes staring blindly at the stars*

*PR's go wide at the sight in front of him.*

Whoops. I'm thinking we need a second doctor.

Anybody know what to do?

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 4:22 AM

PsychicRiver! You levitate SimonWho's body to the Infirmary operating theater. Quickly, but carefully! GO!

* Next, TheRealMe pulls his com-link and switches it to ship-wide intercom. *

Attention! Montanagirl! Simon-clone1! Simon-clone2! Medical Emergency! Report to the operating theater immediately! SimonWho used a needle to stop his heart! Get it started, again!

* TheRealMe turns toward the Statics, who have no doubt started moving toward ThatWeirdGirl. *

Stop right there, Statics! One of you is the EvilStatic, and I'll not allow you near her! Combine, or else you both depart this room now!

* Without glancing away from the Statics, TheRealMe calls: *

WeirdGirl? Are you okay?

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 4:29 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
PsychicRiver! You levitate SimonWho's body to the Infirmary operating theater. Quickly, but carefully! GO!

*PR does his best to gently raise SimonWhom's body off the floor... quickly flicking his eyes over to the tension with the Statics and TRM*

*He guides SimonWhom's body down to the infirmary as quickly as possible and sets him down on the table*

*He tries his best to communicate with the good doctor.*

*He searches his mind, he can't find anything..it's empty, lifeless...but he can feel his presence nearby...he tries to reach out to it.*

*Thinks: Simon...don't go anywhere...just stay, fight to hold on to your body, you have to hold on.*

*MG enters the infirmary, followed by one of the Simon-clones.*

Help him!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 6:07 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:

Stop right there, Statics! One of you is the EvilStatic, and I'll not allow you near her! Combine, or else you both depart this room now!

* Without glancing away from the Statics, TheRealMe calls: *

WeirdGirl? Are you okay?

The DarkStatic laughs and turns to his twin, gesturing at TRM.

"See? This is why we've had it goin' on the whole time, while the others have run around lost and in a panic. Their other halves thought that being 'dark' means being 'evil'. He looks at TRM. . .not with derision. . .perhaps slight amusement? The other Static rolls his eyes, slightly embarrassed.

"I guess being 'Dark' means having no patience and even less tact?"

The DarkStatic shrugs, "Yeah, I guess so." He turns to TWG and blows her a kiss, then a wink.

"I love you." He tells her, then as an afterthought, "See you around. Remember what we talked about, okay?"

Without another word, he turns to his counterpart and steps towards him, closing the distance. . .then there is one.

Static immediately strides over to his beloved and scoops her into his arms kissing her tenderly, whispering words of love against her lips.

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 6:11 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
People worth dying for.

*pulls out a needle and drives it straight into his own heart*

NOOO! Simon...you can't...*almost sober but still way too emotional for her own good, twg breaks down into tears. She hears TRM yell at Static. She see PR move Simon. She cries. She falls into Static's warm embrace.*

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 6:45 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

On the Adelai Niska, Soul sits in the pilot's chair on the bridge in quiet contemplation. He can hear the rush of air escaping through the holes opened by the Cozenroaches, but other than that, the bridge is quiet and dark. His chair is leaned back, his feet propped up on the console, his arms up behind his head. He stares out the viewscreen as if he's waiting for something. Finally, from the shadows behind him comes a low sob.

"You son of a bitch! Why did you have to show me that?"

Soul turns slowly, his feet dropping to the floor as he faces his dark side. He knows, realistically, that the conversation is happening inside his own head; but it feels real, that his dark side is really there in front of him again.

"You had to see," Soul replies. "I'm tired of this split between us, this constant battle, especially now that it's internal. You had to see the truth, had to know that I gave it my all."

Dark Soul stares at his other side menacingly. "You made me watch her die!" he shouts, leaping to his feet and running for Soul.

Soul is anticipating this; he pushes off of the chair, ducks under his dark side's first punch, and grabs Dark Soul by the throat, slamming him against the bulkhead.

"I was there!" Soul screams. "I'm the one who failed to save her! I'm the one who held her lifeless body! Not you! All you saw was the recording, the news feed. I failed her, but I'll be damned if I let you get away without knowing what really happened!"

For a moment it seems as if Soul is going to hit his twin; but then he releases his grip and walks back over to the chair.

"I know," Dark Soul whispers, rubbing his neck. "You really did give it your all. I'm honestly not sure that I could have done any better." He pauses. "You know, I'm not even sure that us together could have stopped what happened."

With that admission, the battle raging inside Soul ceases, as both sides come to terms that in order to survive, they really do need each other. They are a team, a unit, and together they are more powerful than if they were apart.

In the fading light on the bridge, Soul smiles as his universe rights itself.

"Now only one thing left to do."

When Soul's dark had been planning his revenge, he hadn't simply built a duplicate of the SereniTREE, he had drawn out the evil, the darkness that resided in it's walls and split the ship, leaving it's occupents all the happiness, life and light, and taking with him all of sadness, death, and darkness. The Adelai Niska is no more it's own entity than Soul's own dark side was. In order for everything to be set right again, the darkness must be joined with the light, and the true SereniTREE must be whole again.

Soul pushes the controls, feeling the sluggish response from the Cozenroach-eaten ship, and points the Adelai Niska right at its light twin. Soul pushed the engines to their maximum, and the Adelai Niska responds, barreling straight for it's twin.

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 7:41 AM

PIFFLE101

See's all the guns and try to duck.

"NOOOO!!!" Wake up girl! You can pull through!"
*Her pony gives one last whinny and dies.*

"All who had a part in this shall endure my rath", as she swore her vengenge to the pifflepony murderers, and unleashed her hellish rath to the TREE.

I dont wear underwear...You know that...I mean!?!

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 7:51 AM

EMMA

*Emma senses danger to her ship and immediately wakes up*

*She goes in search of it...but it isn't there, instead she sees the Adelai Niska heading straight towards the Tree and hears some strange mutterings about hellish wrath and ponies.*

Someone is going to pay, my ship is gone and Soul is going to suffer...slowly

*Emma walks off to the armoury*

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 8:28 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

The engines scream as the Adelai Niska threatens to pull apart, but Soul pushes the ship harder. He lets out a chuckle as he realises what it must look like from the other ship. The Adelai Niska barreling at full speed, preparing to ram the SereniTREE. Soul knows the truth, though, knows what is about to happen. He watches as the SereniTREE grows closer, closer, closer.

A split second before impact, Soul closes his eyes and lets his body phase out of existance as--

The two ships collide, and a blinding white light eplodes outward. In space, the event is silent; but Soul knows the sounds of what is happening. It is the same sounds he heard when he rejoined his dark side. Screams, shrieks, thunder, wind. Flashes of lightning glowing brighter until--

In the vast expanse of space, in the sea of stars, there is only one SereniTREE. She flexes like a living being, as everything is finally righted. She is whole again.

Soul passes through the walls of the ship and solidifies as he steps onto the bridge. He smiles softly.

"Home."

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 2:41 PM

*** AFTER THE TWO STATICS COMBINE IN THE LOUNGE ***

* TheRealMe relaxes. *

Thank you, Static. Please see to ThatWeirdGirl. She seems… disoriented.

* TheRealMe turns to ThatWeirdGirl. He makes as if to speak, then pauses. Then he continues: *

WeirdGirl, I am very, very sorry for anything that my bright or my dark side has done to hurt you in any way.

Good day to both of you.

* TheRealMe departs the lounge. *

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 2:48 PM

* Outside the lounge, TheRealMe pulls out his com-link. *

Rat! Go to the hanger bay, collect the body of the EvilWeirdGirl, and put her in your cryogenic suspension machine, the one you have hidden down in the bowels of the ship. Use Sparky or the Ebo Golem if you need help. I could probably help, too. Huh? How do I know about your freezer units? Please, Rat, I have my sources. In fact…

* Throughout the Sereni-Tree, collision alarms begin to sound. *

Ship’s Computer: Warning! Collision imminent!

* His call forgotten, TheRealMe quickly opens a dimensional portal. He calls back over his shoulder: *

Static! We could surely use your skills on the Bridge. It’s on the other side of this portal!

* TheRealMe hops through the portal, which he leaves open, jumps into a control station (but leaving Static’s cockpit open), and begins bringing the engines online. Before him, the view of the False Sereni-Tree continues to grow as it rapidly approaches. *

It’s going to ram us! There’s no time!

* TheRealMe accesses piloting controls through his station. He frantically attempts to maneuver the True Sereni-Tree to avoid its dark twin, but that is not possible. Finally, TheRealMe twists the control grips, rotating the True Sereni-Tree’s crew areas away from direct danger, allowing the more durable engineering section to take the brunt of the impact. *

* But there is no impact. *

Quote:
SoulofSerenity wrote:
The two ships collide, and a blinding white light explodes outward. In space, the event is silent; but Soul knows the sounds of what is happening. It is the same sounds he heard when he rejoined his dark side. Screams, shrieks, thunder, wind. Flashes of lightning glowing brighter until--

In the vast expanse of space, in the sea of stars, there is only one SereniTREE. She flexes like a living being, as everything is finally righted. She is whole again.

Soul passes through the walls of the ship and solidifies as he steps onto the bridge. He smiles softly.

"Home."

* TheRealMe is stunned by this transcendental experience. He turns to look at SoulofSerenity. *

Welcome back, Soul! Now, would you PLEASE tell me what in Gorram Hell is going on around here?!

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 3:01 PM

* TheRealMe studies some indicators. *

Hmmmmm... Hang on, Soul. It seems that the recent... whatever that was... has knocked us out of orbit.

* TheRealMe keys the com-link. *

All hands! Prepare for re-entry!

* TheRealMe pilots the Sereni-Tree down through an atmospheric re-entry, and then looks around for a good landing place. *

I'm going to set us down near that friendly-looking barn.

Say! Is that a Pifflepony?

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 5:34 PM

JAZAF

'Ok, No space races for me.' Jazaf mutters as he exits the bathroom wiping his mouth. The daring manuevers pulled by both Rat and River-clone were stunning and magnificent. But the pitching and turning had there toll an Jazaf.

He hears over the intercom something about the Doc, and later he hears a far off voice mourning an animal of sorts. 'What in the nine spheres of hell is goin' on?' he says dumbfounded.

He decides to wander in the direction he heard a cry of revenge. 'Time to get some answers.'

---------------------------------------
Newest Mystery Man on the Sereni-Tree

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 6:44 PM

NEEDLESEYE

After resting Grey comfortably in his quarters Needleseye turns to leave, when there is blinding light and strange sounds reverberating through Serenitree.
Following the impact of the TREEs Needleseye only blinks, then shakes off her tentacled form returning to the more desireable, draped with a pale gossamer gown and her favorite black boots. Abruptly she freezes... still, for a minute...two... three... how long?
In her mind the evil and darkness and oddness, is seemingly dream like now, as if it never...

really...

She collapses in a heap on the floor.

Needleseye awakens with a start in her knee high boots and nothing else. She's standing in Grey's quarters. Looks at riding crop in hand, it becomes a bouquet of thorns and cotton candy. She drops it as it pricks her finger, her blood is blue and the drops fall to the floor in slow motion.
There is no other sound except for the droplets hittng the floor. One.... two.... three, four.
There's a pair of giant moth wings hanging on the bed post, Grey sitting on the bed wearing samurai armor and... socks. Lots of socks.
In the corner sits a little wrinkled green creature with pointed ears and big eyes. In a defensive maneuver he swishes a long feather duster at her. "Pretty flowers eh, alluring songs hmm?, Dark! Dark, you are! Carnivorous mistress yeeeeesss! An arm, can I get you? hm hmmm mmm?"
Jet walks in with a power driver and is wearing Needleseye's dress. Jet walks over to Grey and appears to be removing armor with the screw driver. She instead takes off his entire arm, blood spatters across the dress. Jet places the arm in Needleseye's hands, the warm blood runs down her flesh. The green creature takes the bouquet of thorns and cotton candy and runs away shouting "mine mine mine!" Needleseye looks back at Grey who's snoring, all limbs attatched.
She hears horses neighing. and the riding crop appears in her hand again.
Upon hearing TRM say "All hands! Prepare for re-entry!" a herd of disembodied hands gallop on their finger tips at full speed through the outer corridor.
She counts the hands, one... two...

****
To sleep perchance to dream...

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 7:13 PM

PIFFLE101

With her brain clouded in fury and distress, she releases her wrath on every living being and thing (except Ath and Lissa) in the TREE.

*chants a fancy language*
Česká republika Cote d'Ivoire Croatia Cuba Cypru!!
Release the pifflelocusts!!!

I dont wear underwear...You know that...I mean!?!

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Thursday, July 21, 2005 7:29 PM