Serenity² - Sleeping Bags Compulsory by RelFexive

You hear a lot of those nightmare tech support stories, and I think I'll share two of my favorites with you.

First is the woman who called the support line for her printer, saying it would not print the yellow text in her document. The support person on the phone took her through every option, every screen, every drop-down, every button. Eventually the source of the problem was discovered.

The woman was using yellow paper.

The second is even better. The customer rang their tech support line to get their computer working. Everything they had tried had failed, so the support guy took him through everything. Every wire and cable inside the case, every cable 'tween case and peripherals, everything. A quarter of an hour was spent doing this.

Eventually, in exhasperation, the support bloke asked the customer to check if the power cable was plugged into the wall socket and the socket was turned on.

The reply?

"Hang on, I've just got to go get a torch. I can't see under the desk, it's very dark under there as we're in the middle of a power cut just now."

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Tuesday, August 9, 2005 11:55 PM

hehe

My last job was in an IT centre. We used to teach disadvantaged members of the community how to use computers. I was the general tutor for Word and such like plus I used to help with the tech support sometimes (when our delightful tech support couldn't be bothered to help - or rather when the one nice dude was too busy doing the other lazy bastards jobs that he didn't have time to do yet more work). The thing that got me was the teachers. The most common problem they had was that the computers wouldn't work. Why? They hadn't turned the monitors on. Over and over again I had to go and resolve this 'problem'.

Never am I working in tech support!

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Tuesday, August 9, 2005 11:58 PM

Where I work, users (damn them to Hades!) log into Windows and then have to log in to a program to do their work. I support the program, not Windows. So, naturally, every time I get a phone call for "I can't log in" it's always for Windows.

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:06 AM

I'd like to point out at this stage that i wasn't one of the above "users" who can't turn on the machine or anything! It was a package we use at work to book appointments and that was down...so i had to go thru 5 different IT "help"desks to find someone who knew about it.

Needless to say - i have the correct number to contact him again next time!

-------------------------------------------------
you can't take the sky from meeee, since i found serenity...
wash tell me im pretty
were I unwed, Id take you in a manly fashion.
cause im pretty? cause your pretty...

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:15 AM

is it bed time yet

=================================================
Carol
Pirate Steve defines the word cool.....
http://www.freewebs.com/serenityshindigs/index.htm - big damn shindigs

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:17 AM

Fray: with regards to the graphics card, I'd agree it definitely sounds like a driver problem. You'll need to

a) download the latest from the manufacturer's website,
b) uninstall the drivers currently on your computer, and
c) install the new drivers.

As for the broadband/wireless networking thing, you might need to run the network wizard, which I think you can get to via either the My Network Places icon on the desktop or by right-clicking on that icon and selecting 'Properties'. Can't remember precisely, not got an XP machine to hand right now. Select the most obvious options in the wizard, it's pretty self-explanitory as I recall.

Next, I'm presuming the laptop has a wireless card of some kind? Or is it a wired network connection? It's modem is not important at this time, as the laptop will be connecting to the net through the router via a network card.

What make of wireless router is it? Do you still have the instructions for it? Those should be more than enough to help you get it sorted.

P.S. I expect this all to be foggy technobabble to you. Most of my explanations/questions to people regarding computers are

My advice on this is simple: find a friend who you know personally and who knows more about computers than you do and get them to fix it. It's what I always do!

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:19 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Spiritgal:
I'd like to point out at this stage that i wasn't one of the above "users" who can't turn on the machine or anything! It was a package we use at work to book appointments and that was down...so i had to go thru 5 different IT "help"desks to find someone who knew about it.

Needless to say - i have the correct number to contact him again next time!

See? Getting to talk to the right people isn't easy!

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:25 AM

god its really not - IT ppl so ellusive!

but i have his number now - no escaping!

-------------------------------------------------
you can't take the sky from meeee, since i found serenity...
wash tell me im pretty
were I unwed, Id take you in a manly fashion.
cause im pretty? cause your pretty...

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:27 AM

Thanks for all the advice....where's a local IT expert when you need one?!

_____________________________________

Visit the Browncoats' Photo 'Verse at http://disneypix.tripod.com/photoverse

Over 200 Serenity screencaps now available at www.destinything.com.

www.cafepress.com/fireflyclass
www.cafepress.com/destiny2 (Wonderfalls)

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:34 AM

Had to fix a printer that wouldn't print recently... I had to explain to the User that ink and paper are not optional...

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:37 AM

The unfortunate alternative might be to find a local IT expert of the "you need to pay them" type.

I've tried to talk novice computer users through doing things over the phone or on an IM before, and it's not easy. It's all too easy to go too fast or assume too much about what they know how to do... even as far as them not knowing how to navigate through the directories on their computer in some cases!

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:44 AM

Its fun isn't it...
Its what Remote Desktop was invented for, unfortunatly It never seems to work when I need it the most...

By the way Keely, we are ellusive because we're very poorly paid, and can only afford to live in caves in the middle of nowhere...
Plus because we're poorly paid we don't want to work to hard for our money, so we hope you'll give up before you find us...

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:47 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by citizen:
Had to fix a printer that wouldn't print recently... I had to explain to the User that ink and paper are not optional...

I like the problems that fix themselves. I just went to look at a printer that wasn't printing right... I squinted at it, opened the panel on the front... and it started to work properly.

*shakes head*

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:49 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by citizen:
Its what Remote Desktop was invented for, unfortunatly It never seems to work when I need it the most...

...and it's no good when the problem lies with a network/internet connection, preventing you from accessing them remotely anyway... Heh.

Nothing really beats someone physically sitting down at your computer and working on it directly.

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:52 AM

I like the ones where there is no problem really even more...
Like the printer that wouldn't print because they were using the wrong printer mapping...

Also good are the easy ones that make me look like an absolute Guru god:
User couldn't access the internet because the proxy settings weren't being set, deleted the Z: drive so the logon script works properly, so the proxy settings are set...
No one else had a clue what the problem could be...
Shall I ask for that raise?

Quote:
Nothing really beats someone physically sitting down at your computer and working on it directly.

Totally true, but if you can get that effect remotly it means I don't have to leave me seat...

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 12:57 AM

We actually DID pay someone to come & have a look - when we first installed wireless broadband everything worked fine. Then all of a sudden we started losing the connection on the additional pcs when we turned the wired one off. So we pay this guy to come out, who blames it on Wanadoo's livebox, sells us one of those D-Link ones, fails to solve the problem and doesn't return our calls...Ho hum.

I'm OK going through things on the phone with people - I'm pretty good with computers. It's just a matter of finding someone trustworthy & knowledgeable to talk you through it!

_____________________________________

Visit the Browncoats' Photo 'Verse at http://disneypix.tripod.com/photoverse

Over 200 Serenity screencaps now available at www.destinything.com.

www.cafepress.com/fireflyclass
www.cafepress.com/destiny2 (Wonderfalls)

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 1:09 AM

Fray - this remote thing you have - connected to your laptop yeah? My folks had the same problem i think, wouldn't connect properly on laptop and nor on their pc...dad spent ages on the phone to guess who......wanadoo!!!

-------------------------------------------------
you can't take the sky from meeee, since i found serenity...
wash tell me im pretty
were I unwed, Id take you in a manly fashion.
cause im pretty? cause your pretty...

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 1:09 AM

SIMONWHO

The solution is obvious: next shindig, we go round to Fray's! We'll look at her computer (*imagines five IT support people all trying to fix the same computer*) and then discuss her choice of furniture. Yaaaaay!

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 1:10 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by citizen:
By the way Keely, we are ellusive because we're very poorly paid, and can only afford to live in caves in the middle of nowhere...
Plus because we're poorly paid we don't want to work to hard for our money, so we hope you'll give up before you find us...

I will never give up hunting down IT

thats what you are there for after all!!!

-------------------------------------------------
you can't take the sky from meeee, since i found serenity...
wash tell me im pretty
were I unwed, Id take you in a manly fashion.
cause im pretty? cause your pretty...

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 1:11 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
The solution is obvious: next shindig, we go round to Fray's! We'll look at her computer (*imagines five IT support people all trying to fix the same computer*) and then discuss her choice of furniture. Yaaaaay!

while eating chocolate
whooooops li'l chocolate bits in the keyboard, that can't be good

-------------------------------------------------
you can't take the sky from meeee, since i found serenity...
wash tell me im pretty
were I unwed, Id take you in a manly fashion.
cause im pretty? cause your pretty...

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 1:13 AM

Now that's a plan! We shall be redecorating shortly so put your requests for furniture/colour scheme in now!

OK, enough depressing IT talk (apologies to those you actually work in IT - am not suggesting you're depressring!). We got chocolate here! Yum!

(Carol - see there's been quite a response at the UB about the screening shindig! Except none of the people interested in coming have tickets to the film!).

_____________________________________

Visit the Browncoats' Photo 'Verse at http://disneypix.tripod.com/photoverse

Over 200 Serenity screencaps now available at www.destinything.com.

www.cafepress.com/fireflyclass
www.cafepress.com/destiny2 (Wonderfalls)

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 1:16 AM

Quote:
The solution is obvious: next shindig, we go round to Fray's! We'll look at her computer (*imagines five IT support people all trying to fix the same computer*) and then discuss her choice of furniture. Yaaaaay!

My god man! Wars have started for less! It'll be like the cuban missile crisis on Fray's keyboard!

I'm warning you, I'll annex the mouse if you don't don't withdraw your fingers from the numpad...

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 1:18 AM

Hmmm, it's a cordless mouse so is it already annexed?

_____________________________________

Visit the Browncoats' Photo 'Verse at http://disneypix.tripod.com/photoverse

Over 200 Serenity screencaps now available at www.destinything.com.

www.cafepress.com/fireflyclass
www.cafepress.com/destiny2 (Wonderfalls)

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 1:22 AM

No, Its independent...
So beware if your keyboard/monitor form an Alliance...

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 1:25 AM

A cordless mouse? Splitter!

Mmmmm... coffee. And later, soup.

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 1:29 AM

I knew they were up to do something - all those flashing green lights seemed suspicious. Some kind of morse code I suspect.

_____________________________________

Visit the Browncoats' Photo 'Verse at http://disneypix.tripod.com/photoverse

Over 200 Serenity screencaps now available at www.destinything.com.

www.cafepress.com/fireflyclass
www.cafepress.com/destiny2 (Wonderfalls)

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 1:48 AM

Right I'm off to GOSH!
Wish me luck...
Thank god I'm getting out of this hell hole, even if it is just for one hour...

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 2:01 AM

misery misery misery

someone sing a song to cheer us all up...oh and has anybody set RarelyEarly an initiation task yet?

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 2:25 AM

Nope. I guess it's your turn to set it.

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 2:43 AM

whoooop

my friend in america jus sent me a whole box of american chocolate and sweets!!

reeses cups, reeses bites, nerds (i so love them) hershey bars. and more

=================================================
Carol
Pirate Steve defines the word cool.....
http://www.freewebs.com/serenityshindigs/index.htm - big damn shindigs

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 2:44 AM

if you have twinkies i will exchange you my soul

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 2:46 AM

ummmm

no

i have a tootsie roll though

i have no idea what that is

and milk duds!!

=================================================
Carol
Pirate Steve defines the word cool.....
http://www.freewebs.com/serenityshindigs/index.htm - big damn shindigs

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:10 AM

Isn't a Tootsie roll something to do with African flies?

Anyway, my feet are killing me and everywhere seems to be sold out of Serenity comics...
The Gosh! guy said he was trying to get some, and they may be in next week, so i've got some contact details if anyone is interested:
Tel: 020-7636-1011
EMail: info@goshlondon.com

www.goshlondon.com
&
www.cartoongallery.com

I think i need new shoes, these ones are slowly taking the skin off my toes...

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:19 AM

I had some little Hershey chocolate bite things the other week. Y'know, like those midget Dairy Milk things you get in Celebrations boxes.

I thought they tasted awful. So keep Hershey chocolate far away from me, thanks.

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:20 AM

Are you serious about the Reeses????!!!!

Watch the Tootsie Rolls though - I bought one once, got it confused with a Twinkie! They're very chewy.

Em, we've got some drunks sat outside who can sing you a song if you'd like.

_____________________________________

Visit the Browncoats' Photo 'Verse at http://disneypix.tripod.com/photoverse

Over 200 Serenity screencaps now available at www.destinything.com.

www.cafepress.com/fireflyclass
www.cafepress.com/destiny2 (Wonderfalls)

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:23 AM

yup 4 packs of reeses cups and 2 bags of reeses pieces

mine!!!!

=================================================
Carol
Pirate Steve defines the word cool.....
http://www.freewebs.com/serenityshindigs/index.htm - big damn shindigs

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:28 AM

Tootsie rolls are these fake chocolate chewy candies. They're okay, but they're not chocolate. The problem with them is that they end up everywhere, and they multiply like Tribbles. You get one for Halloween and then 2 days later, you've got 10. If you don't eat them, then by the time you finish all the good candy all you've got left is 30 tootsie rolls and some of the really nasty candies no one ever eats that you try unsuccessfully to trade with your siblings for something better.
But they're an American tradition, so people always buy them.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:29 AM

i'm so uneducated...never had hershey bars or reece anythings

Ca - keep some for friday then i can taste america

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:30 AM

Fray, you have your very own drunks - cool. Can I have them for the afternoon, I need a sing-song. They aren't smelly are they?

Carol, Reeces pieces are odd but Reeces cups - hmmmmmm lekker (as the Dutch say). I have to agree with Rel though Hersheys are vile. They remind me of those penny sweets when we were little - the very fake chocolate in the foil cups.

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:30 AM

If we'd planned ahead in time, I could have sent you all a big box O' American Candy Goodness for your weekend shindig. Now there's no time.

Next time, definitely.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:32 AM

BECSTHEBEAST

grrr vat returns grrrr
*burrows back under mountains of paperwork*

smile pretty and watch your back

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:32 AM

hmmmm twinkies

tasty american goodness

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:36 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Emma:
[B}
Carol, Reeces pieces are odd but Reeces cups - hmmmmmm lekker (as the Dutch say). I have to agree with Rel though Hersheys are vile. They remind me of those penny sweets when we were little - the very fake chocolate in the foil cups.

extremely dimensionally transcendental

Oh Emma, I know that American chocolate isn't as good as European, but I cannot stand for Hershey's chocolates to be insulted. I used to live very near Hershey, Pennsylvania, home of Hershey's (where it always smells of chocolate) and have been to Hershey's Park (an amusement park based on chocolate, what could be better?) several times. I love Hershey's and cannot bear to hear it called such names. It's like insulting my country!

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:38 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SerenityPunk:
ummmm

no

i have a tootsie roll though

i have no idea what that is

and milk duds!!

My mother adores milk duds.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:39 AM

I got all excited because Capital mentioned this store, CyberCandy on Shelton Street, which is supposed to sell old fashioned sweets & imports. So I went and tracked it down on Sunday - tiny little place, and hideously overpriced.

Was tempted by some Reeses Cups lip gloss though...

(Be strong Becs! Can't remember - did you get London tix or did you not bother as going to Edinburgh?)

_____________________________________

Visit the Browncoats' Photo 'Verse at http://disneypix.tripod.com/photoverse

Over 200 Serenity screencaps now available at www.destinything.com.

www.cafepress.com/fireflyclass
www.cafepress.com/destiny2 (Wonderfalls)

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:42 AM

Serenity, I am truly sorry that I insulted you and your country with my refusal to accept Hersheys as anything other than fertiliser.

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:46 AM

I've never had anything remotly American when I comes to chocolate, but I can't see it as being as good as belgian chocolate tho...

I don't even know what a Twinkie is, except cops in American TV shows seem to eat them nearly as much as doughnuts, and they were mentioned on Ghostbusters...

Q: What do you have when you are holding two little green balls in your hand.
A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005 3:49 AM