Select to view spoiler:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by embers:

how can one reinstall a browser without reloading the entire system's disk?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by PsychicRiver:

I want you to assassinate my boss.

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SimonWho:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by embers:

how can one reinstall a browser without reloading the entire system's disk?

---

F*** Internet Explorer. You want:
http://www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/]

Woo Hoo! It is skittish, but beats havin' nothin'.
You are a God!

Join my crew: Fairfield Fireflies
(Middle-aged Midwesterners looking for more crew or passengers)
http://browncoats.serenitymovie.com/serenity/index.html?fuseaction=gro
ups.main&searchby=F

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SimonWho:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by PsychicRiver:

I want you to assassinate my boss.

---

All right, now we're talking! Who, when, where and over how many hours should this death take place?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by PsychicRiver:

Okay, er, Matalan, Bognor Regis, the one with the wart...and make it slow. Oh, and punish her, make sure its clear she's not in authority.

Okay, so yes this is cruel, but I'm allowed!! I failed the doctors psycho analyst test, didn't I? So I'm excused.

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by fray101:
Sadly, your web of lies has been revealed - you're not evil at all, you're a cuddly fluffy bunny with a fuzzy heart of gold and we shindiggers all want to marry you!

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
As I'm measuring out a dose of the pink stuff, i notice the label states an expiration date of 11/2004. Is it still drinkable? I mean my stomach is already upset, will bad medicine make it worse?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SimonWho:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by PsychicRiver:

Okay, er, Matalan, Bognor Regis, the one with the wart...and make it slow. Oh, and punish her, make sure its clear she's not in authority.

Okay, so yes this is cruel, but I'm allowed!! I failed the doctors psycho analyst test, didn't I? So I'm excused.

---

Bognor Regis? You expect me to travel all the way to Bognor Regis? To kill just one person? In the words of his Majesty the King George the Fifth "Bugger Bognor".

Besides, killing someone is such an inelegant way of solving a problem, it shows... a lack of imagination. I recommend posting to her a free sample of Wartzaway, a revolutionary new skin cream that dramatically reduces warts (I'll send you a bottle). Then I recommend you phone her superiors at Matalan HQ, stating that she seems to be acting in an "unstable manner." One drug test later, she is out on her ear, and you can make a powerplay, having now gained the respect of head office as "the anti-drug kid".

Soon, your empire of cut price clothing will grow. Today, you'll have Bognor. Tomorrow, Arundel. The day after that, Hemel Hempsted. Just remember who put you on this path. We'll talk money later.

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Knibblet:
Doctor,
I'm having a little trouble getting going in the morning after sitting up all night watching my first season Battlestar Gallactica DVDs. Is it my advancing age? Am I over the hill at 43?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SerenityPunk:
Dear Dr SP

I allowed a Chav into my home at the weekend, is there anything I can do to shake off this dirty feeling ive got

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SimonWho:
All I can do is point out that in the movie (and TV show) Logan's Run, the official age of being too old for being of any use was thirteen whole years younger than you are now.
You've got to draw your own conclusions but you have to ask yourself...
My fee for this consultation is for you to leave me your Battlestar Galactica DVDs in your will.

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Knibblet:
Am I over the hill at 43?

http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/MN-Firefly/

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SimonWho:
I think you should think of it like this: what's the worst that could happen? It could have fermented in the bottle, causing a new compound that reacts with the acid in your stomach, turning it into a superacid. Your organs get consumed and you expire horribly over a period of several days....So, in conclusion, drink up and add to my medical knowledge one way or the other. Don't be such a chicken, you owe it to science to find out.

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SimonWho:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SerenityPunk:
Dear Dr SP

I allowed a Chav into my home at the weekend, is there anything I can do to shake off this dirty feeling ive got

---

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I have carefully examined the photo record of your shindig and have worked out the identity of the person concerned. Don't worry, this falls under Doctor/Vict... er Patient confidentiality, we can keep their secret safe.

In short, the answer is no. Not matter how many times you shower, how much you scrub, the festering stink of chavivity will linger around you unless you take drastic action.

First, burn all of your possessions. You cannot tell what the chav may have touched and you just cannot be too careful, infections spread so easily. Next, strip all the carpets and wallpaper from your house and have them incinerated too. Finally cover all exposed surfaces with a thick bleach (Domestos for preference but really any major brand will do).

Only then will you lose their itchy feeling that crawls across your spine whenever you think of that monstrosity walking in your abode. For future reference, the preferred method of preventing infestation is to put a sign saying "Jobs Available, Apply Within" outside your front door. Fearing its natural enemy, work, the chav will withdraw and scour the streets for a less daunting foe.

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Knibblet:
Your answer leads me to a second problem: How and where do I find me a carousel? Third problem: I haven't yet bought the original movie DVD to go with the series, will this count against me in the afterlife (after I'm reborn in carousel)?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by RelFexive:

Can you suggest any way of being in two places at once?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by chrisisall:
Doc, I have this problem, when I'm up late at night watchin' Firefly (or some damn space thing) I turn out the lights, as one should for a space-like show to dispense with the glare, and after the lights go out, little beetles that I never see w/the lights on come moseyin' along near where I'm sittin' in front of the TV. They're just beetles, and the seem friendly enough, but they distract me some.
What's it mean?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SimonWho:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by chrisisall:
Doc, I have this problem, when I'm up late at night watchin' Firefly (or some damn space thing) I turn out the lights, as one should for a space-like show to dispense with the glare, and after the lights go out, little beetles that I never see w/the lights on come moseyin' along near where I'm sittin' in front of the TV. They're just beetles, and the seem friendly enough, but they distract me some.
What's it mean?

---

There are no beetles.

That's all I'm saying.

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Barclay:

I need a really good WYSIWYG HTML editor that I can download for free online and has a free trial of at least 2 weeks. Something that functions somewhat like FrontPage would be best. Suggestions?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Emma:
My bowel movements make me sad as I haven't had any for 5 days. Can you help?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by RelFexive:

Someone I know is getting all of Summer Glau's attention. What is the best method of subtle assassination you can suggest to clear the field for me?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SimonWho:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by RelFexive:

Someone I know is getting all of Summer Glau's attention. What is the best method of subtle assassination you can suggest to clear the field for me?

---

Well, I'd set up an elaborate scheme whereby the "someone" tries to get their boss fired by giving them a cream that will cause them to fail a drug's test but will in fact kill them stone dead. Then I'd anonymously point the police in the direction of the "murderer", ensuring my tracks were fully covered.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by UnchartedOutlaw:
Doc, I got two quick questions:

First, what are those little white things floating around my vision after I've exerted myself too much?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by UnchartedOutlaw:

Second, how can we help TWG get a good night's sleep?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by UnchartedOutlaw:

Third (and no one expects the Spanish Inquisition): How can I get sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by RelFexive:

There are no beetles.

That's all I'm saying.

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SimonWho:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by UnchartedOutlaw:
Doc, I got two quick questions:

First, what are those little white things floating around my vision after I've exerted myself too much?

---

Believe it or not, they're actually called floaters. They're just little pieces of debris in your eyeball itself. They're harmless unless they start to multiply rapidly, in which case I highly recommend seeing a non-evil doctor.

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by UnchartedOutlaw:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SimonWho:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by UnchartedOutlaw:

Second, how can we help TWG get a good night's sleep?

---

The answer lies in Shakespeare: "Asleep, perchance to dream, aye, there's the rub."
We should do as the man requests and rub her out.

---

Do you mean that in a kill her sense or in something a little more subtle and naughty?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SimonWho:
This is how I 'play' Doctor, twg, I follow the three A's: Amputation, Amputation, Amputation.

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by citizen:
I'm trying to get Kelly Brook to realise she loves me, but no matter how long I camp out on her front lawn with my telephoto lens she still calls the police...
What can I do?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by UnchartedOutlaw:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by SimonWho:
They're harmless unless they start to multiply rapidly, in which case I highly recommend seeing a non-evil doctor.

---

Can you recommend one?

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by maugwai:
Dear Doctor Simonwho:

I have no money. How do I get some?

-Broke in Katmandu

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Hey, I have this friend of mine back on the Sereni-Tree who has split into two selves, one good and the other evil. Well, the evil one has posted his very own thread and is offering evil advice to the unsuspecting masses. I swear, he’s more evil than Dogbert! How can I resolve this unpleasant situation without causing harm to my friend’s good self?

---