Why Firefly isn't a good show... by NEEDY

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Why Firefly isn't a good show...

POSTED BY: NEEDY
UPDATED: Thursday, August 25, 2005 07:39
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 5394
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Sunday, August 21, 2005 7:15 AM

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Inspired by a bunch of similarly themed IMDB Forum posts, I decided to create a Firefly one. It's unfinished but I thought you could help out and add to it

Before anyone starts criticising - let me just point out that the following list is sarcastic

A list of reasons why Firefly isn't a good show

It's unrealistic

As we all know, in the future, everything is sleek and new like on Star Trek, plus horses are probably extinct

A ship's crew always get along, with no member threatening to betray the others.

Simon can't be River's brother but must be her lover, indicated by the fact that she was found naked in his luggage

The cast are referred to as Big Damn Heroes, but anyone can see they are of only average height. Chewbacca is much taller

In real life, the good guys win wars

The show promotes stealing

The show promotes prostitution

Sometimes the characters start speaking Chinese for no apparent reason

It's politically incorrect – the captain often refers to the ship's companion as a "whore"

Every spaceship show needs to have aliens in it. (Applies also to Battlestar Galactica)

Sometimes the cameraman doesn't know where the action is and is desperately just trying to keep up (Again, also applies to Battlestar Galactica)

The show's makers spent so much time getting good special effects, they forgot to add the cool sound effects in space

They also seemed to have run out of budget as the only explosions in space aren’t the big fireballs we see in the superior Star Wars saga

The ship and planets they visit look like they have been lived in – don’t the makers know that the "sleek and new" look promoted in the Star Wars prequels is "the in thing"?

The show is a western but is also a space show?! Nuff Said

Other reasons
Fox cancelled it after only a few episodes. How good could it have been?

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 7:43 AM

FRSCPE1

I just hope everyone reads the post and not just the title before responding.

"Well, other than being shot at by the Electric Mayhem, I'm fantastic."

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 7:50 AM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

I know, I thought that for a while as it often happens on IMDB, but I figured the members here are not as trigger-happy

besides if they tried to kill me, I'd just kill em right back

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 7:52 AM

FRSCPE1

Quote:
Originally posted by NEEDY:
besides if they tried to kill me, I'd just kill em right back

As it should be.

Yeah, I don't think anyone will jump the gun and go crazy. Unless they're kidding around.

"Well, other than being shot at by the Electric Mayhem, I'm fantastic."

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 8:04 AM

THEREAVER

OMG. How could you? If you just came here to slag the show then you should just leave before we all kill you.

Yeah, I was joking.

-----------------------
I'll rape you to death.
I'll eat your flesh.
I'll sew your skin into my clothes.
If you're very very lucky, I'll do it in that order - TheReaver

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 9:35 AM

WHIMSICALBRAINPAN

I think, and perhaps it's heretical, that you either get Firefly or you don't. Some people can be brought to the show, I suppose; but let's face it, Firefly's a little weird.

That's why I love it.

But some people don't want weird and challenging. Some people want everything explained to them. If you want a show about Upstanding Humans blowing up Evil Aliens, this isn't your thing. Firefly's not a black-and-white shoot'em-up show. It's not a show built on predictable "plot twists" showing up in the final two minutes. It's not even really science fiction (and I know Wash agrees with me here), since there's very little attention paid to the "science," and the fact that they're in space actually has little to do with the plots.

Think about what passes for "great" TV drama these days and you'll see what the public hungers for. Think about ER for instance: no one ever comes in with a broken leg and no story; the only people who come in are infants riddled with bullet holes or people with obscure diseases or (and these are the worst) "People With a Difficult Choice to Make." This isn't "drama," it's DRAMA!!!! Don't think! Just let yourself be washed away by the blood and beeping machinery.

In contrast, who is Mal? He's a good guy, but not so good that he won't shoot someone who needs shooting. He's not a rebel, though he hates the government and won't shirk from an opportunity to do them some hurt. All he wants to do is live life on his terms, to carve out a little scrap of independence for himself and his crew. Heck, I bet if the Browncoats had won the war, he'd still be doing what he's doing. THIS IS NOT EASY FOR MOST PEOPLE TO GRASP.

There is drama all around us, good drama, if only there is a storyteller gifted enough to package it. The best drama if often not found in a hospital, or a police station, or even a warship in space. Firefly is full of rarer dramatic moments, each dripping with authenticity. My favorite is Inara, curled up in a corner crying in "Heart of Gold"--not a "space" moment, not a "tense" moment, not a "violence" moment--a human moment. Today's "drama" could use a liberal sprinkling of these.

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 10:57 AM

UNCHARTEDOUTLAW

I was so ready to come in here, guns a-blazin' based solely on the thread title. So glad that I can save my ammo for something else. :) And yes, I agree that Firefly is something you get or something you don't. And for those who don't...well, I just feel sorry for em.

-Taylor

http://norcalriviera.blogspot.com
http://www.cafepress.com/norcalriviera

**Winner of That Other Shiny Caption Game #2**

River: "So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem."

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 11:12 AM

KIZZIECSTARS

yep, some people get it, some people dont.
but how do you get people to watch it and give it a chance to grow on them without having to hit em over the head, tie em to a chair and sit em right in front of a wide screen tv. coz i'm pretty sure that constitutes a violation of human rights.
but they just say - "oh, it's sci fi, i wont like it"
HOW close minded can you get? do they not understand that firefly trancends genres? its just GREAT whether u like sci fi or not!!!!
just because theres no moany public shoved in some crappy house together and filmed, doesnt mean that all you unintelligent morons (i'm refering to non firefly lovers - please dont kill me) will hate it.
plus, it's got sean maher topless in it, and who wouldn't LOVE that.

peace out
Kizzie
XxX

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 11:21 AM

DECKROID

*** More Other Reasons For Cancellation ***

Everyone knows that space ships make noises in space.

Same sexed people dont kiss each other.

Good guys speak English. Bad guys speak Klingon. There are no other languages.

Its not a reality show.

The crew of Firefly were a bunch of losers. Who wants to see the stars of the show fail?

There was a distinct lack of latex appendages.

Heros do not run from anyone.

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:05 PM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Quote:
Originally posted by frscpe1:
Quote:
Originally posted by NEEDY:
besides if they tried to kill me, I'd just kill em right back

As it should be.

Yeah, I don't think anyone will jump the gun and go crazy. Unless they're kidding around.

Precisely - I have faith in them

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:07 PM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Quote:
Originally posted by TheReaver:
OMG. How could you? If you just came here to slag the show then you should just leave before we all kill you.

Yeah, I was joking.

LOL. For a second there I thought you were serious, which came as quite a surprise as I had just got through saying that those here on the forum wouldn't be like that

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:15 PM

THEREAVER

Quote:
Originally posted by NEEDY:
LOL. For a second there I thought you were serious, which came as quite a surprise as I had just got through saying that those here on the forum wouldn't be like that

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

No. If I was serious, my post structure and language would have probably been different. And I'd have peed through your mailbox.

-----------------------
I'll rape you to death.
I'll eat your flesh.
I'll sew your skin into my clothes.
If you're very very lucky, I'll do it in that order - TheReaver

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:16 PM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

You've pretty much summed it all up WhimsicalBrainpan (what a very strange name)

I also love that moment of Inara's - so real and touching, with nothing happening apart from a glimpse into a character's soul. And since Firefly is, let's face it, just a show about characters (the stories and humour are inconsequential in comparison but add icing to the cake), and its moments like this that are there to savour

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:18 PM

CHRISISALL

We need to face the truth here, people.
Firefly really isn't a very good show.

It's a gorram GREAT show.

Had ya Chrisisall

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:21 PM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Quote:
Originally posted by UnchartedOutlaw:
I was so ready to come in here, guns a-blazin' based solely on the thread title.

I was hoping for that

as for those who don't get it - maybe we should pray for them

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:27 PM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Quote:
Originally posted by Kizziecstars:
plus, it's got sean maher topless in it, and who wouldn't LOVE that.

Thats one of the great things about Firefly, its got beautfiul people in it. How can non-fans refuse to like it when they see Inara servicing people and River lying in a box naked. OR Simon topless as you said, and *news flash* Mal totally naked!
I don't know - people seem so superficial at times and yet when you want them to be, and to get them to like a show for starters based solely on the beautiful people (knowing full well they'll soon be engrossed in the characters and stories too), they dont want to know

That was a long sentence, I hope you made sense of it

As for conversion - well I'm trying to get my sister interested and whilst it still is a work in progress, I've lent her boyfriend the set. Hopefully he'll fall in love with it and we can both convert her. As the old proverb goes: "Two Browncoats succeed better than one"

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:31 PM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Quote:
Originally posted by DeckRoid:
*** More Other Reasons For Cancellation ***

Everyone knows that space ships make noises in space.

Same sexed people dont kiss each other.

Good guys speak English. Bad guys speak Klingon. There are no other languages.

Its not a reality show.

The crew of Firefly were a bunch of losers. Who wants to see the stars of the show fail?

There was a distinct lack of latex appendages.

Heros do not run from anyone.

They're all excellent! Thanks for contributing

*note to self*
Must. Think. of more.

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:33 PM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Quote:

No. If I was serious, my post structure and language would have probably been different. And I'd have peed through your mailbox.

Ah, of course. I should have been more perceptive. I'll know next time... and possibly sniff my mail for any suspicious residue

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:35 PM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
We need to face the truth here, people.
Firefly really isn't a very good show.

It's a gorram GREAT show.

Had ya Chrisisall

Dammit you stole my line!

I was going to put that at the end of the list, but considering it wasnt finished, I thought I'd leave it until the list was complete and posted in it's entirety

When I say complete, I mean tired out - otherwise it could go on forever

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:40 PM

CHRISISALL

Sorry. It seemed the next logical joke (?) to make.

Joke logic Chrisisall

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:59 PM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
Sorry. It seemed the next logical joke (?) to make.

Joke logic Chrisisall

Joke logic - I like that

Sometimes I let my mouth get the better of me and make a quip that is perhaps in poor taste, from now on I'll just excuse myself saying "It was joke logic"

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 5:21 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Quote:
Originally posted by Kizziecstars:
yep, some people get it, some people dont.
but how do you get people to watch it and give it a chance to grow on them without having to hit em over the head, tie em to a chair and sit em right in front of a wide screen tv. coz i'm pretty sure that constitutes a violation of human rights.

*Channels Foghorn Leghorn for a moment*
Easy, yer goin about it alll wrong son!

What ya do, I say, I say here... is dub yourself a high grade VHS of whichever episode you think is mostly gonna grab their lil heartstrings and start a-pluckin, ya see ?

And then you verrrry reluctantly "loan" it to them with a hefty helpin' of "please, please, it's my only copy, don't lose it or let the VCR eat it and I need it back sooon..." so they buy the fact that it's, yanno.. kind of important to ya...

Ye kin bet they'll watch it then fer sure!
*/leghorn off*

And then... when they come back, asking if there's any more to be had...

Turn and grin and tell em, "Oh, only the first hit is free..." and point out those oh-so-nice DVD sets...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

I tell ya, the stuff's like crack, market it the same way.

-Frem
Evil, Evil, little man.

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Sunday, August 21, 2005 10:55 PM

KIZZIECSTARS

Quote:
Originally posted by NEEDY:
*news flash* Mal totally naked!

ah. i'd forgotten bout that. good point.

peace out
Kizzie
XxX

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Monday, August 22, 2005 2:04 AM

UNCHARTEDOUTLAW

Wow, I totally heard Foghorn Leghorn in my head just then!

-Taylor

http://norcalriviera.blogspot.com
http://www.cafepress.com/norcalriviera

**Winner of That Other Shiny Caption Game #2**

River: "So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem."

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Monday, August 22, 2005 5:11 AM

ZEEK

Of course it's a bad show

Everyone knows that the boy and girl who have been longing for each other get to kiss in the end.

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Thursday, August 25, 2005 7:37 AM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Quote:
Originally posted by Kizziecstars:
Quote:
Originally posted by NEEDY:
*news flash* Mal totally naked!

ah. i'd forgotten bout that. good point.

peace out
Kizzie
XxX

How could you forget that? I'm a straight guy and that image has been permanently ingrained in my memory

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Thursday, August 25, 2005 7:39 AM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
Of course it's a bad show

Everyone knows that the boy and girl who have been longing for each other get to kiss in the end.

Damn right. What kind of idiots write this show?

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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