Because I think too much... body hair in the 'Verse by Jacqui

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Because I think too much... body hair in the 'Verse

POSTED BY: JACQUI
UPDATED: Wednesday, August 24, 2005 10:13
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VIEWED: 7071
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Monday, August 22, 2005 3:45 PM

Okay, this is what happens when an insomniac lies awake at four in the morning and I apologise in advance, but I give you fair warning and if you actually read this post all the way through, then you really have no one to blame but yourself... do you?

Moving on...

I was thinking... body hair in the 'Verse. None of the women seem to have it. Ever. Granted, we've seen Mal shaving before, so I could get behind the theory that Kaylee, Inara and Zoe gets lots of downtime when they're floating around out in the black and they shave off screen.

But when River tumbles out of that cryo box, she's naked and she's virtually hairless. I'm pretty sure, given Simon's reluctance to open it at all at that point, that they would have opened the box at regular intervals for some depillatory action.

Yes, it's possible she wasn't in the box for a long amount of time. Simon said she should stay in there for another week, but nothng about how long she'd already been in there. So she might have been in there for a day or two. But I'm not ready to accept that in the Academy, she had lots of access to razor blades. Nope. Not gonna happen.

Which brings me to another weird place... Simon in 'Objects In Space', his chest was hairless. I mean... wha?

Okay, so when it's quiet, all the girls hide themselves in Inara's shuttle and have waxing parties... I'll accept this (if there's also braiding of hair, liberal use of lingerie, pillow fights and the like)... but does that mean Simon joins in and waxes his chest?

I need sleep.

*~*~*
"Your toes are in the sand."
"And your head's up your..."
"Hey!"

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Monday, August 22, 2005 5:03 PM

PELORISSOCIALIS

ROFLMAO!!!!

I have GOT to quit reading these things at work.

Thanks for the snort!

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Monday, August 22, 2005 5:11 PM

R1Z

Why should Simon have chest hair? Roughly 55% of all men don't. (I have 8, I counted.) Nathan's not exactly a furball, either.

Stitch Hissian's hair and beard certainly grew while he was in the hotbox for 4 years.

River is a 14 year old girl, who knows how far along she is through the process of puberty, and someone in cryogenic suspension wouldn't grow hair, her metabolic processes are slowed to near zero.

In 500 years,women may well be able to suppress body hair growth with a pill even eliminate it altogether.

When do we see Nathan/Mal shaving?

To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. --Robt. Heinlein

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Monday, August 22, 2005 5:23 PM

JACQUI

Quote:

River is a 14 year old girl, who knows how far along she is through the process of puberty,

Well, no, not exactly.

Simon says she was 14 when she was initially interested the Academy. Then he says he got a few letters at first, followed by months of silence, then one or two lettes came that didn't sound like her at all and if you give or take this process 6 months, that puts her at at least 14 and a half.

He then goes on to say that he couldn't get near River for two years, which makes her 16 and a half.

Then there's the process of making the contact, meeting with them in black out zones, arranging for the cryo box, etc... give or take this process another 6 months. That puts River at at least 17.

Given that there is no strict timelines for what I've just mentioned, so you can easily add or subtract months for convenience sake (say, she was nearer 15 than 14 before she actually was accepted at the Academy)... that puts her somewhere between 17 and 18.

(That's a good three or four years of torture, right there).

And 16-18 year old girls do grow body hair. I've been one.

As for the shaving thing... I'm sure I've seen it somewhere in an episode. Mal, shaving. Completely certain. Not that I can rightly remember, right now, I'll have to get back to you on that one.

*~*~*
"Your toes are in the sand."
"And your head's up your..."
"Hey!"

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Monday, August 22, 2005 5:31 PM

R1Z

There's a moment in one episode where Simon leans on something and says, "She's a __year old girl."

I just gotta remember which one it is.

To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. --Robt. Heinlein

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Monday, August 22, 2005 5:37 PM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.

It wasn't in an episode, it was in the trailer...Simon says "She's a seventeen year old girl."

He claims she was fourteen when she left to go to the academy.

But, so...I've met plenty of hairy 14 year olds...

Okay, I haven't, but I bet they're out there!

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Monday, August 22, 2005 7:36 PM

DROCCULARI

Quote:
Originally posted by R1Z:
In 500 years,women may well be able to suppress body hair growth with a pill even eliminate it altogether.

Maybe that's what the syringe was that Inara looked at when they were sneaking past the Reavers. Maybe it was her hair suppression serum. Maybe she was thinking, "At least when they sew my skin into their clothing it won't be hairy like Kaylee's chest."

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 2:53 AM

WILDHEAVENFARM

Where do we see Mal shaving?

Mary
Always a beast, never a burden.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 3:09 AM

ZOOT

I understand this is what Simon actually looked like when he came aboard Serenity - they cut the scene where Zoe and Jayne held him down and the Cap'n shaved him ...

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 3:15 AM

SOLIDSNAKE58

Everybody waxes in future. It's quite painless. Go see The 40 Year Old Virgin for an example.

AHHHHHHHHHH . . . KELLY CLARKSON!

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 3:29 AM

PSYCHICRIVER

Quote:
Originally posted by DrOcculari:
Quote:
Originally posted by R1Z:
In 500 years,women may well be able to suppress body hair growth with a pill even eliminate it altogether.

Maybe that's what the syringe was that Inara looked at when they were sneaking past the Reavers. Maybe it was her hair suppression serum. Maybe she was thinking, "At least when they sew my skin into their clothing it won't be hairy like Kaylee's chest."

LMAO!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 3:48 AM

SPINLAND

Quote:
Originally posted by DrOcculari:
Maybe she was thinking, "At least when they sew my skin into their clothing it won't be hairy like Kaylee's chest."

ROFL!

----
I can see you.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 5:07 AM

JACQUI

Ooops. I was wrong, I don't think we saw Mal shaving. What I had in my head was the scene in 'Jaynestown' where Book was washing his face and his hair was out. I don't think he was shaving then. Sorry.

Quote:
Originally posted by R1Z:
In 500 years,women may well be able to suppress body hair growth with a pill even eliminate it altogether.

Yeah, but... but... they have such long, luscious locks on top of their heads. No pill can differentiate between the sebacious glands and hair follicles of underarm/leg skin and scalp skin. Nah uh.

Unless you were to suppress the progesterone/eostrogen/LH/FSH hormones from childhood onwards, which might halt the growth of extra body hair. But, considering how, erm... curvacious and sexy and all out FEMALE that these four women are... I doubt that has happened either.

So... erm... neeneh neeneh.

Quote:
Originally posted by DrOcculari:Maybe that's what the syringe was that Inara looked at when they were sneaking past the Reavers. Maybe it was her hair suppression serum. Maybe she was thinking, "At least when they sew my skin into their clothing it won't be hairy like Kaylee's chest."

ROFLMAO!!!

That's way too funny!!

*~*~*
"Your toes are in the sand."
"And your head's up your..."
"Hey!"

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 5:10 AM

JACQUI

Quote:
Originally posted by Zoot:
I understand this is what Simon actually looked like when he came aboard Serenity - they cut the scene where Zoe and Jayne held him down and the Cap'n shaved him ...

HEEE!!!

You guys have to give me a warning for this stuff, so I don't spit diet coke all over the screen.

It's very unseemly.

*~*~*
"Your toes are in the sand."
"And your head's up your..."
"Hey!"

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 5:10 AM

SPINLAND

So it's a magic topical cream, then.

----
I can see you.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 6:15 AM

CALLMESERENITY

I like Spinny's idea. They finally invented a magic hair removal cream that works and lasts as long as it claims and doesn't burn.

Or maybe everybody gets those laser hair removal surgeries done in the future. They could have little laser hair removal electric razor thingies to do it yourself. Painless and easy.

OR..it could be a TV show and no one wants to see nasty week old hair growth on the legs of Summer Glau.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 6:33 AM

DUG

I figure that the topic of body hair has become a cultural taboo due to how it makes us look more like primates and is not even mentioned in polite society. The closest anyone comes is using the euphemism "terrifying space monkeys".

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 10:02 AM

WILDHEAVENFARM

You know what else this thread reminds me of?

Jayne's sponge bathing scene was cut, while they were filming it. He started to shave his back, the called "lunch" and never went back to it.

(poorly quoted from the War Stories commentary)

Mary
Always a beast, never a burden.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 10:50 AM

SPIKEANDJEZEBEL

I am extremely bored at work - so I'll play!

The box that Simon used to smuggle River onto Serenity was some sort of cryogenic capsule - presumably, all her bodily functions, including hair growth, would be suspended during the hibernation. As long as she was clean-shaven before she got in, she logically should be clean-shaven when she got out.

"I have never understood why it should be necessary to become irrational in order to prove that you care. Or indeed, why it should be necessary to prove it at all." -Kerr Avon

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 1:17 PM

JACQUI

Quote:
Originally posted by spikeandjezebel:
The box that Simon used to smuggle River onto Serenity was some sort of cryogenic capsule - presumably, all her bodily functions, including hair growth, would be suspended during the hibernation. As long as she was clean-shaven before she got in, she logically should be clean-shaven when she got out.

Human hair grows even after death. Ain't no cryo box gonna stop it.

And my original point, how would she be clean shaven before she got in? Those men with blue hands give her access to razors a lot, did they? 'Cause that's not very smart to my mind.

*~*~*
"Your toes are in the sand."
"And your head's up your..."
"Hey!"

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 1:34 PM

SPIKEANDJEZEBEL

Actually, it is a common urban myth that hair and fingernails grow after death - see the Snopes.com page for a detailed analysis of this: http://www.snopes.com/science/nailgrow.asp

However, I agree with you that it's not likely that River would have access to razor blades at the academy! I think the best explanation is that most viewers would prefer to see a nicely groomed naked girl in a box, so that's what we got.

"I have never understood why it should be necessary to become irrational in order to prove that you care. Or indeed, why it should be necessary to prove it at all." -Kerr Avon

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 2:11 PM

JACQUI

I stand corrected.

Cool link!

Quote:
I think the best explanation is that most viewers would prefer to see a nicely groomed naked girl in a box, so that's what we got.

But that's nowhere near as interesting as Kaylee's hairy chest!

Look, see what my weird mind has done to you people.

*~*~*
"Your toes are in the sand."
"And your head's up your..."
"Hey!"

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 2:43 PM

PERFESSERGEE

Quote:
Originally posted by Jacqui:

Unless you were to suppress the progesterone/eostrogen/LH/FSH hormones from childhood onwards, which might halt the growth of extra body hair. But, considering how, erm... curvacious and sexy and all out FEMALE that these four women are... I doubt that has happened either.

So... erm... neeneh neeneh.

I hate to go all scientifical on y'all, but in the interest of factual correctness (I can't help it, I teach endocrinology), that important extra body hair in both girls and boys comes from testosterone and its related hormones. Yep, girls who don't have enough testosterone stay bald in certain critical areas. So perhaps our Browncoat girls are just light on the testosterone side. On the other hand, it seems unlikely that Zoe wouldn't have any testosterone at all..........

perfessergee

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 4:51 PM

VISITINGMYINTENTIONS

Yeah, I'm sure they wouldn't allow River near razor blades at the academy. That way she might have been *gasp* dangerous.

Do you think they were training her to be a superweapon with down pillows?

---------------------------------------------------
Early: Where'd she go?

Simon: I can't keep track of her when she's NOT incorporeally possessing a spaceship, don't look at me --

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 5:39 PM

STARRBABY

Quote:
Originally posted by spikeandjezebel:
The box that Simon used to smuggle River onto Serenity was some sort of cryogenic capsule - presumably, all her bodily functions, including hair growth, would be suspended during the hibernation.

Good thing too, 'cause Simon forgot to put a diaper on her.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 7:30 PM

EMBASSY

See, normally I don't like a hairy woman, but Zoe, she turned me around on that.

Not everyone, apparently.

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005 1:56 AM

BARCLAY

Is the movie out yet?

"You are on the Global Frequency."
http://www.frequencysite.com
http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005 7:12 AM

R1Z

Quote:
Yeah, I'm sure they wouldn't allow River near razor blades at the academy.

When was the last time you saw a razor blade? Do they even still make them? Except the single-edged ones for paint scrapers.

Even prisoners in maximum security shave. You issue a razor and pick it up 10 minutes later. Or use an electric razor.

Perfessor, you're breaking my heart. If hair growth is tied to testosterone, does this mean I'm not gonna be able to dispense with shaving anytime soon? 'Cause I kinda like the other things my body does with testosterone, it's just that shaving every morning is a pain.

Here's an interesting slant: People on the ship don't waste water. We see Mal rinse his hands twice, once in his bunk and once in the infirmary. Both times he uses just the merest trickle. My copy of the script for the pilot makes a reference to there not being a shower on Serenity. Yet all the guys, even Jayne, are clean shaven every day.

Do the guys get some long term facial hair suppression? Does a beard count as "body hair" or am I hijacking this thread?

And do we all reeeeaaaally have too much time on our hands?

To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. --Robt. Heinlein

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005 7:28 AM

FIVVER

Quote:

Okay, so when it's quiet, all the girls hide themselves in Inara's shuttle and have waxing parties... I'll accept this (if there's also braiding of hair, liberal use of lingerie, pillow fights and the like)...

I'll be in my bunk.

Fivver

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005 7:31 AM

SAFEAT2ND

I like the Laser Razor idea.

It's a lot easier to keep relatively "fresh" with a minimal water supply if you have less hair with which to absorb the afore mentioned water. Plus it would be a lot faster and neater with the... Acme Laser Razor...than to wet shave or wax. Less waste.

A lot less dangerous in River's hands than a blade. Mind you, one wouldn't want her to have it long enough to turn into a tazer or such.

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005 8:49 AM

KAYLEERULESALL

i can say for certian that its the most gorramn difficult thing to do in the entire 'verse to shave one's legs in the shower on board a boat. granted, Serenity is a bit bigger than my aunts day cruiser, but still--a boat shower is a boat shower. my money is on some glitzy solution like laser devices or perhaps a pill; but then again, when was the last time Serenity's crew had such high technology?

Ow. your question made my brain hurt.

"There are two infinate things in our world. The universe, and Human stupidity. I'm not too sure about the first one." Albert Einstien

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005 9:47 AM

SUNDERWOOD

Whatever they use, Jayne doesn't know about it.

-------------
I like Jayne. I'm going to make a t-shirt.

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005 10:13 AM

PINGJING

Quote:
Originally posted by VisitingMyIntentions:
Yeah, I'm sure they wouldn't allow River near razor blades at the academy. That way she might have been *gasp* dangerous.

Do you think they were training her to be a superweapon with down pillows?

OT: Well, no, not down pillows. They seem to have trained her using pens.

Julia

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