Destiny-Episode 6: Return of the Browncoats by CallMeSerenity

I guess giving you your squirt-gun back, which I modified, would be a bad idea.

Let me re-think it, this may take awhile so sit back relax and enjoy the inflight movie and free peanuts.

Hmmm.... to arm or not to arm the crazy and potentially mutatable boy whore.....

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Monday, September 19, 2005 1:28 PM

You all want I should knock him unconscious? That would stop the whining.

(Just kidding Needy! You know I love you, right? In a non-client-platonic way, of course. I don't want what you're sellin'. Not with that swollen backside, anyway. Sorry. Sorry. It's just so very easy. I'm going to try harder.)

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Monday, September 19, 2005 2:14 PM

Snaps on some latex gloves.

"Looks like we're going to have to operate!" Jack says of Needy's affliction, "We'll have to remove the affected area."

TRM puts on a surgical mask, "Indeed. Pass the chainsaw."

Jack, Chief Nurse of Destiny

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Monday, September 19, 2005 6:20 PM

TheRealMe revs the chainsaw a couple of times.

"COOL! I've always wanted to hold one of these in my hands!"

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Monday, September 19, 2005 7:05 PM

TheRealMe starts singing Weird Al Yankovic's song, "Like a Surgeon" at the top of his lungs. Then TheRealMe closes his eyes and swings the roaring chainsaw in a wide arc. Luckily, Jack ducks in time to avoid decapitation.

The chainsaw's chewing teeth lightly brush over Needy's quivering posterior, neatly slicing off the mutated blemish but touching nothing else.

TheRealMe opens one eye to look.

"Hey! He's still alive!"

TheRealMe, Doctor of Destiny!

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Monday, September 19, 2005 7:14 PM

Some of you want peril? Goodness, folks! We have all the peril that we can handle over on the Sereni-Tree thread!

In deep space, two of our crew (Emma and Rat) have been captured by aliens, ThatWeirdGirl and Jayne-clone2 face something strange on Emma and Rat’s derelict shuttle, and an ominous blip is approaching Destiny’s Shadow!

Back on Earth-That-Still-Is, a village near the grounded Sereni-Tree is being attacked by Reavers, with two of our crew (PsychicRiver and Piffle101) nearby in mortal danger.

This would be a perfect time to join us, if you like. You could be refugees from the village that the Reavers are attacking, and can easily meet up with PsychicRiver and Piffle by running into the forest where they are hiding.

To quickly catch up on events in the Sereni-Tree, I suggest that you read TheRealMe’s Guide to the Sereni-Tree in the “Sereni-Tree among dandelions” thread, Number 28:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=11502

Then read the current thread, Number 30: “Sereni-Tree: Flight of the Firefly”:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=12357

That should be enough. Though you can also take a look at the thread between them, Number 29: “Sereni-Tree: a day at the races”

http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=12057

Or you can take a look at the summaries toward the end of the “Guide to the clubhouse/treehouse/Sereni-tree threads”:

http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=11877

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Monday, September 19, 2005 7:16 PM

JAZAF

Jazaf heard the singing and followed the voice to the infirmary. Just before he could join for the chorus TRM swings his chainsaw. The mutated blemish flies through the air and lands square on Jazaf's chest.

He panics.
'Ahhhh! what in the hell is this!?!?' he screeches as he slaps the mutation off of him.

---------------------------------------
Mystery Man on the Sereni-Tree

Navigator on Destiny

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Monday, September 19, 2005 7:39 PM

The mutated blemish scampers off at blinding speed and dives into an air vent.

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Monday, September 19, 2005 11:49 PM

"Is it gone?" Needy asks.

"Well," Jack passes Needy some pills, "Yes and no."

TRM pauses, "Would that be 'yo' or 'yeo'?"

Jack shakes his head, "Do I really have to be the bedside manner ALL THE TIME?"

TRM begins coddling his chainsaw with cute baby noises.

Needy looks on, distressed, "What's that doing in here?"

"What?" Jack tries to conjure innocence.

"The chainsaw."

"Ummm," Jack stumbles, "Self-defense?"

"Oh," Needy says, "Makes sense."

Jack has the reaction typified by the mental comment; 'Is he really that dumb or am I really that good?'

"What did you mean 'yes and no?'" Needy stands up painfully, "Is it gone?"

"It's gone alright," TRM chortles, "It's just still alive."

"What?" Needy says, "I thought you said that it was just a space mosquito."

"Well," Jack hops from foot to foot, "It was. But before he left, TRM had been doing some genetic blending of insect DNA and common refrigerator condiments."

Needy looks shocked, "Not Worcestershire sauce?"

"I'm afraid its worse than that," Jack says, "Catalina dressing."

Needy squeaks, "God save us."

Jack, Official "Bad News" Man of Destiny

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005 2:43 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by CastIronJack:
JAck shakes his head, "Do I really have to be the bedside manner ALL THE TIME?"

From some reason that brings to mind a Barenaked Ladies song.

As for TRM's suggestion at joining the Sereni-tree...I've never been one to intrude, sounds intriguing, and I wouldn't want to leave this thread all our crew are here. Besides, I don't think Jaz would like it over there. From what I can understand, Soul has a thing for disembodied pilots and I'm wondering if it extends to navigators.....

Sooo....who's crawling into the vent after it??

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005 3:00 AM

Jazaf is already over there. As am I, and Soul, and TRM and Needy and Rat (who hasn't been over here in awhile. Or on the TREE, now that I think about it Rat! Where are you?) and loads of other people.

It's pretty much a free-for-all. We have great fun. And lots of peril.

Don't feel obligated, but you're welcome to join.

And I am NOT crawling into any vents after any mutated body parts. No ruttin' way.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005 3:44 AM

FLECHETTE

*crackle*

Flechette's voice floats over the intercom

Um guys - do we have any new mutated things on board? I just cut a space quito in half with those nifty improved knives and well.... now's theres 3......

-silence-

guys?

okay ones more a siamese twin thing but still theres' 3 heads down here....

umm that came out wrong -

OKay how about this?

HELP@!

________________________________________________
Flechette - Destiny's Cook

We got Crab and pig tell :Squid ink and fish scale
Okra and dasheen leaves
Chitchat and chatter :Fill up the platter
With a garnish of pure make believe
- Jimmy Buffett's Calaloo

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005 4:13 AM

TheRealMe releases a tape measure and it snakes back into its case.

"Serenity, it looks like my head is 12 inches around."

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005 4:45 AM

What say you Jack? Flechette? Think they have enough room for 3 more crazies?
______________________________________________

Dr. me grins proudly at the vent "Now that's an unexpected developement"

All eyes turn to Needy...

Needy: "What?? Why are you all looking at me like that?? *looking around nervously*

Serenity and Jack grab Needy, Safe pops the grill off the vent, Dr. Me hands Needy a small container. "Remember, Don't kill my experiment 326, just catch it"

Jack & Serenity stuff needy into the vent oblivious to his protests. Just as his feet disappear from view, Serenity reaches out and snatches her scarf.

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005 5:00 AM

Just as Needy's bare behind is disappearing into the air vent, TheRealMe draws a scary-looking weapon from his holster, takes aim, and fires at Needy. As the projectile impacts the former site of the mutated blemish, it unfolds into a sterile gauze band-aid and glues itself securely into place.

With a smile, TheRealMe spins the band-aid gun on his finger (firing off several more band-aids in random directions) and returns the weapon to its holster.

"Heh! Another invention of mine worked!"

TheRealMe, Doctor of Destiny!

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005 5:48 AM

Safe hollers into the vent "Needy, here's your squirt gun. I modified it a bit. Tweaked it so to speak. I realized, you don't need volume of water if you have pressure, so I fitted it with a couple extra water tanks and co2 cartridges for pressure." Tosses gun into vent.

"Good hunting!! Oh, head for the mess, Flechette said she saw it there"

Aside to the others, "He's toast, isn't he?"

Safe peels a bandage off his cheek. "I know what I'm gonna modify next" glaring at the "good" doctor.

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005 6:19 AM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Needy's body jolts for a second as the flying band-aid hits his backside, causing his body to jump and hit his head on the ceiling of the extremely cramped, not to mention pitch black, air duct

"Thanks a lot!"

"No problem," TRM calls back, ignoring the sarcastic tone and deciding to view it as a heartfelt and grateful thank you

"You know, a little light down here would be nice!" Needy calls back, sounding quite annoyed that he has been assigned with the task of tracking down his mutant growth, the brother he never wanted.

Serenity, still feeling angry at Needy, picks up a torch from TRM's utility belt and flings it in to the duct towards the boy whore.

"AGH!" Needy screams. "Hasn't my bum been through enough?!"

Serenity's previously annoyed face transforms as a smirk makes a cameo appearance

"Lousy no-good careless crew" Needy mumbles under his breath

"We heard that!" Serenity shouts back, before turning towards TRM. "Have you got anything else we can throw at him?"

"I wouldn't worry about that" TRM replies calmly

"What do you mean?" Safe butts in

"That wasn't a standard torch you tossed him" TRM reveals

"What was it then?" Jazak asks hesitantly

"Just another... invention" TRM modestly replies

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Needy screams

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005 6:27 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Just as Needy's bare behind is disappearing into the air vent, TheRealMe draws a scary-looking weapon from his holster, takes aim, and fires at Needy. As the projectile impacts the former site of the mutated blemish, it unfolds into a sterile gauze band-aid and glues itself securely into place.

With a smile, TheRealMe spins the band-aid gun on his finger (firing off several more band-aids in random directions) and returns the weapon to its holster.

"Heh! Another invention of mine worked!"

LMAO! Very very funny, TRM!

*Still smirking at her unintended revenge on Needy, Serenity picks up her tainted scarf gingerly with one finger.*

Hmm..Amylisai does alot of laundry around here. I wonder if she's got anything that'll get out Naked Boy Whore.

*She wanders off to go find out.*

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005 1:19 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
TheRealMe releases a tape measure and it snakes back into its case.

"Serenity, it looks like my head is 12 inches around."

TRM-there is no frackin' way your head is 12 inches around. Unless you're really a pyromanic midget. Or 5 years old. Or had your head shrunken in a voodoo curse. And I've seen pictures. You, sir, got a big head. So try that again, please. And remember, you're measuring the crown of your head. Like where a CROWN would sit if you were King of Londinium. Or if you were a hippee and wore a headband around your forehead. Okay?

Thanks!

And hurry up because I've very nearly finished Amy's and Needy's.

Needster-I need your address!! PM it to me, please!

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005 3:40 PM

Jayne begins to strap miscellaneous objects d'war onto Jack.

"Jayne are you sure that this is necessary?" Jack grunts underneath the hardware, "I mean we're talking about the spawn of Catalina dressing, a space mosquito and Needy's left buttock."

"In a word," Jayne cocks a shotgun, "Yeah."

"We are in a spaceship," Jack muses, "Won't some of this stuff put a mighty big hole in the Destiny?"

"Maybe."

"Hella vocabulary you got there, Jayne."

Flechette comes out in similar gear. Jack notices a bit of watering in Jayne's eyes, "Ain't she a doll?"

"Are we ready?" she asks.

Jack's hand runs over the unfamiliar equipment, "Well. This ain't a Nerf gun."

Jack, Defender of Destiny

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005 5:02 PM

Wellllll... Okay, then. TWO feet! But that's my final offer!

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005 3:29 AM

You sure you don't want to go to 2 1/2?

I'll make your hat the same size as Needy's and Soul's and Greek's. I'm sure it'll fit. If not, well, I'll be around all weekend to fix it, won't I?

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005 4:55 AM

Uh. Really. 24 inches.

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005 5:36 AM

TRM, I'm thinking I might like to partake of the action on Sereni-tree as well, as you kindly offered, but I wouldn't feel right just jumping in. I don't want to step on any toes, or go astray of any exsisting story lines. If the offer is still open....any suggestions...a starting point...
Jack would make an excellent partner to jump into the fray with. Waddya say Jack? All the rest seem to be there too. And we ain't abandoning this story line, it's just too damn funny....
------------------------------------------------
*Safe eyes Jack's armament and shakes his head* "I've got all I need right here"

*Safe shoulders a shiney aluminum soft-ball bat* "That thing gets close enough and I'm goin' for the fence"
*Takes a test swing and knocks over cannisters*

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005 8:18 AM

*shrug*

Doesn't matter much to me. We just can't abandon Destiny...

Oooo... Rhymes.

*Whips out guitar*

The only thing worse than dancing Jack is singing Jack!

Jack, Balladman of Destiny

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005 8:54 AM

Oh no. We won't be abandoning Destiny. Like I said, it's too damn funny. Plus I've grown attached to the crew. (Curse you Dr. Me!!)

But TRM, Serenity, Soul etc seem to be able to do both. I'm willing to try. Worse thing can happen is I make a fool outta myself, but then I've already come to terms with that aspect, plus I've been called worse.

*Shades of Juicey Fruit commercial, Safe grabs the guitar from Jack and smashes it to pieces on the floor.*

*Then, being neat minded, scoops up the pieces and not finding a garbage can handy, chucks them into the airduct*

Safeat2nd, Neatness first, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005 10:14 AM

If you would like to join us on the tree, I suggest you catch up with Piffle and PR as they head for the TREE to be rescued from the Reavers.

It's fun being on two ships. Here, I'm a gun-totin' 1st Mate. On the TREE, I'm a winged katana slinger. Not the best katana slinger, but I hold my own. I also have the proud honor of having saved us all once, when I was able to drop a bomb device into the main shaft thingy of the Evil Invaders' building and blew the sucker up. (What was it called again TRM? Heck if I know.) That was a good day for me. Course, we've all be saved by each other so many times, I can't keep track.

It's fun, it's mayhem. We like new people. They're shiny and they've all got stories...

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005 12:09 PM

Thanks Serenity, I've done mine and Jack's entry to the scene. Hope he doesn't mind. It's in his hands now as I won't be around until Sun. pm.

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005 12:24 PM

*sends Safe good-softball-playing thoughts*

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005 4:11 PM

FLECHETTE

hey all!

I'll be sticking to just this thread- I have no idea how you all keep up with multiple threads- I'm jealous!

I'm also out of town for the next few days - so I'll see you back on some thread most likely Monday-

have fun! and terminate those darn bugs!

________________________________________________
Flechette - Destiny's Cook

We got Crab and pig tell :Squid ink and fish scale
Okra and dasheen leaves
Chitchat and chatter :fill up the platter
With a garnish of pure make believe
- Jimmy Buffett's Calaloo

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005 4:28 PM

Jack looks down at his busted guitar and back up at Safe, "I'm glad we could make it."

Safe winks, "No problem."

"You sure that that's all you want to bring, Handyman?" Jayne jeers at the baseball bat.

Safe taps the deck like a base plate, "Better believe it."

"Stupid," Jayne shrugs, "Alright, I'll take point. Shot anything that moves."

"What about the crew?" Jack swings his shotgun around causing Safe to duck.

Jayne smiles a nasty smile, "We're gonna start in the lower decks. I've found some evidence that they're making some kind of nest."

Jack frowns, "Nest?"

"Lower decks?" Safe asks.

Jayne shakes his head, "Follow me."

As soon as the team starts moving Destiny starts looking very different. The air is moist and organic secretions cover the corridors. It looks like a cross between a serpent and an insect.

"What the hell?" Safe asks.

"Oddly enough this seems familiar," Jack points his flashlight equipped shotgun down the darker reaches of the corridor, "We should beware of little blond girls named Carrie Hehn."

Something skitters across the ceiling above the troop.

"I don't even know where we are," Flechette tells them, "I think it's the main cargo bay..."

Something catches Jack's eye. The others follow him and stop at a humanoid lump attached to the side of the corridor.

"Who is that?" Safe asks.

"I think its one of the crew that we never hear from or about," Jack says, "It's like some kind of super glue resin..."

The human gasps for breath, "Kill me."

"Why?" Jack asks, "Other than stuck you seem fine."

As soon as Jack says that, the victim gags and something begins coming out of his throat. Jack runs behind the bat wielding Safe. Flechette makes a face. Jayne cocks his gun.

Safe hides behind Jack. Shoving ensues.

Flechette and Jayne watch as the creature comes out of the victims mouth, long, thick and serpentine...

As soon as the creature frees itself, Jayne tries to shot it.

He misses and it escapes. The victim continues to gag afterwards.

Flechette retches, "I think I'm going back to the mess."

Both Jack and Safe stop in the middle of the shoving catching the last of the creature as it flees deeper into Destiny.

They both make faces.

"Ew..."

Jack, Defender of Destiny

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Thursday, September 22, 2005 10:12 AM

Eeeewww indeed.

Serenity decides to stay in her bunk until this is all over.

Oh yeah, and I am NOT helping to clean this mess up. iiiicky.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Thursday, September 22, 2005 5:54 PM

"Um..." Safe says, "I think I need a bigger bat."

Jayne frees the victim with strong kicks, "Let's get that one to the infirmary," he hauls the victim to his feet, "We'd better get a move on before he coughs up another one of those..." he frowns, "Things."

Jack starts leading back to the infirmary, "TRM should be able to help him..."

"Hey Sunshine," Jayne calls to him, "Where're you going?"

"To the infirmary?" Jack says.

"Flechette and Safe can go back," Jayne slaps a strong hand on Jack, "We gots to go hunting."

"Um..." Jack says, "I'm the Chief Nurse. It says so in my signature."

"Lately, I've been reading Defender."

"I suppose we should find Needy..." Jack says, "He could be in trouble."

"Yeah," Jayne says unconvincingly, "He could be in trouble."

Jack, Defender of Destiny

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Friday, September 23, 2005 1:20 PM

AMYLISAI

Amy squints at Serenity's soiled scarf with the trained eye of a laundry appraiser.
"Well, if I just use a bit of this... it will look like new again." Scrubbing and soaking and starching...

"Oh, it looks shiny! The colors are more vibrant and pristine than before!" exclaims Serenity. "Hold up, I'm sounding like a commercial."

"Can I hide in your bunk with you while the crew kills Buffy-like bugs?" Amy asks in exchange for the washing. "We can have a knitting party!"

(Thanks for including me, Serenity :)

Amylisai, Crazy but contented Sister of Destiny

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Friday, September 23, 2005 5:57 PM

JAZAF

'Well, I'll.....defend the bridge from any bug-like thing.' Jazaf scoops up a fly swatter as he heads to the bridge.
'I just hope they don't come any bigger then 3 inches.'

---------------------------------------
Mystery Man on the Sereni-Tree

Navigator on Destiny

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Saturday, September 24, 2005 5:16 AM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Elsewhere, a naked Boy Whore walks the corridors of Destiny. His body is blackened due to the air ducts that haven't been cleaned since the dawn of time. Needy moves slowly with his mouth gaping open. His face is blank. His body is now host to the parasitic organism he went after and it is using him to accomplish it's purposes.

"Man, I can't catch a break" Needy thinks to himself.

Unable to speak or to act independently now that the parasite has taken over, he only can control his thoughts. He has never used his brain so much in his life

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Saturday, September 24, 2005 6:03 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by amylisai:

"Can I hide in your bunk with you while the crew kills Buffy-like bugs?" Amy asks in exchange for the washing. "We can have a knitting party!"

(Thanks for including me, Serenity :)

Sure Amy! Let's go knit. I've got to finish TRM's hat anyway!
*They go hide in Serenity's bunk, which is clean and bug-free.*

IRL: Oh, I am sooo mad at the cats in this house. Last night my cat (accidentally) scratched my foot open. I have this huge deep scratch that really really hurts. It bled all over the place. And then, just a few minutes ago, my grandmother's psycho cat, who for some reason likes to chew on my hair when it's wet, lept from the couch to my back, trying to get at my hair that I've just washed, slipped, and then scratched her way down my back to the floor. I may have to kill them all.....

*goes to find neosporin*

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Sunday, September 25, 2005 9:45 AM

Yeowch!! That sounds painful, Serenity.

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Sunday, September 25, 2005 10:54 AM

TheRealMe, in his white lab coat, looks up from his work in the Laboratory. He holds forth a beaker containing some vile-smelling bubbling concoction.

"Oh, you've been scratched, Serenity? Here, apply some of this to the wounds. Or drink it. No... Apply it to the wounds."

TheRealMe, Doctor of Destiny!

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Sunday, September 25, 2005 11:22 AM

Jayne and Jack go down one transformed corridor after another. Every time, the floor crawls with serpentine forms and the walls stuck with absent crewmen gagging out more.

Jayne and Jack free the crewmen and tell them to go to the infirmary.

After covering the full of Destiny, Jack and Jayne have taken in account all the crew that were on the ship with exception to one.

Needy.

A human shadow confronts the pair as they're about to leave. It is indeed the naked boy whore, no longer naked, but covered in a seething crawling uniform of alien serpents with only his glazed face peeking through.

"Needy?" Jack asks.

"They want me to tell you something..." the boy whore stutters, "They want me to tell you that you're all going to die..."

Jack, Suddenly Serious of Destiny

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Sunday, September 25, 2005 3:22 PM

*In the infirmary*

Safe: Flechette, see if you can give our illustrious Dr. Franken.....er..Dr. Me some "incentive" (read:use the sharp pointy ends of your new knives) to see if he can come up with a way of fighting these things before they get the rest of the crew.

I spoke to Jazaf, he's ok..for now. Serenity and Ami are holed up and Soul...well I don't rightly know where he is. Needy should be ok in the vents...I hope.

I'm gonna head to the engine room to see if I can come up with something to at least slow it down. Then go back and see if I can help Jack and Jayne.

Give me a ring if you come up with anything at all that might help.

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Monday, September 26, 2005 3:10 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
TheRealMe, in his white lab coat, looks up from his work in the Laboratory. He holds forth a beaker containing some vile-smelling bubbling concoction.

"Oh, you've been scratched, Serenity? Here, apply some of this to the wounds. Or drink it. No... Apply it to the wounds."

TheRealMe, Doctor of Destiny!

Okay, Dr. Me. Whatever you say. I'll pour this on my..oops! I dropped it. Clumsy me! Oh, darn, it's spilled all over the floor! Oh well, guess I'll just use neosporin like everybody else. Thanks for making the effort, though!

*leaves quickly.*

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

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Monday, September 26, 2005 3:18 AM

As soon as Serenity closes the door behind her, there is an explosion. Then out of the room stumbles TheRealMe, coughing smoke and blackened like a "blown up" Warner Brothers cartoon character.

"Ahem... Yes, on second thought, try the neosporin."

TheRealMe, Doctor of Destiny!

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Monday, September 26, 2005 4:52 AM

FLECHETTE

"Do they have acid for blood?" Flechette asks

*SAfe looks at Flechette blankly*

Well if they have that funky acid blood thing going on I was thinking we could fill some tranq darts with ammonia or something base like and neutralize the blood and kill em that way...."

________________________________________________
Flechette - Destiny's Cook

We got Crab and pig tell "Squid ink and fish scale
Okra and dasheen leaves
Chitchat and chatter :Fill up the platter
With a garnish of pure make believe
- Jimmy Buffett's Calaloo

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Monday, September 26, 2005 10:44 AM

There is much girly screaming down the hall. Kind of sounds like a high pitched version of Jayne and Jack.

Gunfire.

Screaming.

More gunfire.

More screaming.

Twist, scrub, rinse, repeat.

Jack, Whose Time is Short of Destiny

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Monday, September 26, 2005 12:24 PM

Flechette, that's a GREAT idea! Do you think you could whip up a batch of Baking soda pills, and a liquid concotion I could hook up to a hose?

*Hears gunfire and screams in the distance*

Ummm....I'll be right back. Gotta give Jack a hand.

*Throws a bucket of water at a still smoking Dr. Me, extinguishing the one burning hair on the top of his head*

*Heads down the corridor full tilt*

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Monday, September 26, 2005 12:49 PM

*Safe skids into the corridor where the screaming is coming from, taking in the scene before him. Feeling's of disgust and anger flood over him.*

*Somehow he's managed to come-up behind the Needy thingy. There in front of him is the source of the screaming and gunfire....Jack and Jayne huddled on the floor with their arms over their heads firing blindly at the ceiling, while the Needy thingy glowers over them, unscathed.*

*Safe pulls out what looks like a cross between a crossbow and a cordless drill. He aims carefully and fires. A small claw attached to a long wire fire out and attaches to the back of the Needy-thingys head. Safe hits a switch on the weapon and electricity lights up Needy. IT drops to its knees?*

*Safe runs by, grabs Jack and Jayne by the collars and drags them away, headed to the Infirmary*

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman & Mean-go-getter of Destiny

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Monday, September 26, 2005 5:37 PM

Jayne shuts the infirmary door firmly while ripping off his clothes and vest. Slithering aliens appear out of the clothes only to be stamped out by frightened crew members.

Jack, too, pulls out the slithering aliens from his clothes and partially disrobes to do it.

More angry stamping by Jayne.

"I think---" Jack stammers out exhausted, "I think we're going to need either bigger guns or more bullets---"

TRM comes up, "Nice shorts."

Jack grabs TRM, "Please tell me you've got the cure for those serpents thingies."

"Plop-plop, fizz-fizz," TRM replies, "At least for the crew that ya'll found..."

"You've gotta be kidding me."

TRM pulls out some Alka-Seltzer tablets, "Alien infestation?"

Jack, Besieged of Destiny

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Monday, September 26, 2005 7:31 PM