Lists: BDM Laugh Lines (*Spoilers*) by DonCoat

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Lists: BDM Laugh Lines (*Spoilers*)

POSTED BY: DONCOAT
UPDATED: Monday, October 17, 2005 12:38
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Sunday, October 16, 2005 1:13 AM

Based on four viewings with good-sized crowds, I find that the following lines are consistent, big laugh hits. These are the punch lines only (no setups).

Guard: "... Okay!"

Jayne: "Well don't kill me first!"

River: "I swallowed a bug."

Kaylee: "...twixt my nethers..."

Jayne: "I could stand to hear a little more."

Inara: "Please... spend an hour with him."

Mal: "Or... we could talk some more."

Jayne: "Well I might..."

Kaylee: "Hell with this! I'm gonna live!"

Other, smaller laugh lines to be listed in a later post.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 1:27 AM

NICOLACLARKE

Also, without a doubt (big laughs in cinema and singled out in various UK reviews):

"You wanna run this ship?"
"Yes."
"Well... you can't."

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 1:36 AM

DONCOAT

Quote:
Originally posted by NicolaClarke:
Also, without a doubt (big laughs in cinema and singled out in various UK reviews):

"You wanna run this ship?"
"Yes."
"Well... you can't."

You're right. I left that off because in the US trailers (ads) that was a featured line. I get the feeling sometimes that people laugh at those lines because they think they're expected to. But it usually does get a big response.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 1:47 AM

DONCOAT

Second-tier laugh lines from the BDM (not as big or consistent as the top list):

Boy in class: "...rape them for hours and hours..."

Wash: "'Oh god oh god, we're all gonna die?'"

Mal: "...and... explode."

Jayne: "...ain't ever exactly been similar."

Simon: "It's okay to leave them to die."

Jayne: "Let's be bad guys."

River: (expression when clueing in Zoe)

Mal: "Every heist, he's gotta start yelling my name..."

Jayne: "... sure would be nice if we had some GRENADES..."

Mal: "Is HE okay?"

Wash: "... hello?"

Jayne: "... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight..."

Kaylee: " ...they fall right out of the sky!"

Mal: "I really don't."

Jayne: (Face when trying to control triggered River)

Jayne: "Didn't we have a intricate plan..."

Mr. Universe: "... the very best violence."

River: (expression when Simon asks if she's Miranda)

Crew: (reaction to Mal/Inara "Kaylee's missing you" repartee)

Wash: "Remember the part where it's a trap?"

Mal: "You come and you rescue me."

Zoe: "What? And risk my ship?"

Mal: "Dear Buddha, please send me a pony..."

Mal: "Makes you kind of a tease..."

The Operative: "... pulse beacon."

Ensign: "...we've found seven."

Wash: "Nobody besides Jayne is saying that."

Simon (whispering): "You could've asked."

Book: "That crossed my mind."

Book: "Coming from you, that means... almost nothing."

The Operative: "I do [murder children]." I find this strange; I doubt if it was intended as a laugh line. Tension breaker, maybe?

Jayne: "...damaging my calm."

Wash: "I am a leaf on the wind..." (third time) -- Joss, you bastard...

Mal: "Tell me you brought 'em this time."

Mal: "Hard to get to???"

Mal: (sword vs. screwdriver confrontation)

Mal: "... have to go with wrath."

Mal: "I'm known for that."

River: (curious face popping out above Kaylee and Simon)

Mal: "...clearly some... aptitude..."

Mal: "What was that?"

Here's one that I think was intended as a laugh line, but never gets one:
The Operative: "Define 'disappeared'."

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 2:05 AM

DONCOAT

So, some overall observations:

For a 2-hour action/adventure/SF/drama, that's a lot of laughs.

And they don't seem to require any prior familiarity with the characters. Some of the biggest laughs come from character moments (especially Jayne's and Kaylee's), but you don't need to have watched the series to get them. Great job, Joss.

Some of the bigger laughs are from expressions and reactions rather than dialog -- that's especially true for River.

The laughs are never from somebody telling a joke or acting the clown. They're situational.

Many of the laughs serve as tension breakers. Others seem to actually increase the tension ("Hard to get to???") -- very nifty trick if you can pull it off. Again, Kudos to Joss.

There don't seem to be many examples where Joss goes for a laugh and doesn't get one.

Several of the bigger laughs are "double hitters" -- as in the "twixt my nethers" line and followups.

Some of the laughs are used as foreshadowing: Jayne's questioning of the common explanation for Reavers is an example ("just... more space.")

And, finally: the more you watch and/or read a Joss Whedon script, the more you see to appreciate. I'm not a Whedon worshipper overall (Buffy and Angel aren't my thing), but his writing works on a lot of levels. Note to self: if you ever want to write screenplays, emulate Joss.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 4:16 AM

BENDY

The one that gets me takes a little work. It didn't strike me as funny until my second viewing and it's more ironic than laugh-out-loud funny.

In the Maidenhead (the bar on Beaumonde and I'll pass on any "broken maidenhead" jokes) when River's gone Fruity Oaty, Jayne grabs her from behind and yells:

"Gorramit, girl. It's me."

...because the caring voice of her good friend Jayne will no doubt snap River right back to sanity (or whatever she is when she's not a killer woman) and stop her little berserker ballet.

我瞄准为他的头。

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 5:10 AM

ARCPLAYER

Wash: "That part 'll happen pretty definately."

Wash,Zoe,Jayne,Kaylee: the groan and popcorn thrown at the viewscreen when Mal wimps out and says Kaylee misses Inara.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 5:21 AM

DREAMTROVE

Doncoat

I agree on all points btw. I think he intentionally stacks the laughs in autofire because a) that way it's less likely to fall flat, one of the three will get you, and b) it becomes funnier when it's rapidfire. But then of course the laughs have to get out of the way. I like how he sets up a funny situation and then bam

Select to view spoiler:

Have you ever seen those little pointy things they use to pick up leaves?

Select to view spoiler:

I think you should give Buffy a chance. It was very not my sort of thing either, so it took me a long time to get into it. I'm not a fan of either pseudo-religious vampire stories of teen 90210 drama, but it's so very excellent. Condemn yourself to an entire season, pick up a DVD set and watch it, you'll become addicted. The plus side has much more content.

I also usually give Kudos to the Joss team, but I don't see them here anywhere. Does anyone know if Jane Espenson and co were working on this one? Maybe it's a Joss Solo effort. If so double Kudos,.

PS. Even so, don't ditch the team, Joss. (I remember my disappointment in later Ridley Scott efforts, minus the original team, GI Jane, Gladiator, just not the same as Alien, Bladerunner.)

He looks better in red.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 5:47 AM

DONCOAT

Quote:
Originally posted by arcplayer:
Wash: "That part 'll happen pretty definately."

Oh, good one. That should be in my "second-teir" list for sure. It's sometimes hard to hear, though, since it's O.C. and there's a lot of background noise.

Quote:
Wash,Zoe,Jayne,Kaylee: the groan and popcorn thrown at the viewscreen when Mal wimps out and says Kaylee misses Inara.

That's already in there, as "Crew: (reaction to Mal/Inara repartee)". Maybe wasn't described well enough.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 5:52 AM

DONCOAT

Please see comments embedded in spoiler areas...

Quote:
Originally posted by dreamtrove:
Doncoat

I agree on all points btw. I think he intentionally stacks the laughs in autofire because a) that way it's less likely to fall flat, one of the three will get you, and b) it becomes funnier when it's rapidfire. But then of course the laughs have to get out of the way. I like how he sets up a funny situation and then bam
Select to view spoiler:

Have you ever seen those little pointy things they use to pick up leaves?

>> Yes, but never stuck through a torso.
Select to view spoiler:
I also usually give Kudos to the Joss team, but I don't see them here anywhere. Does anyone know if Jane Espenson and co were working on this one? Maybe it's a Joss Solo effort. If so double Kudos,.

PS. Even so, don't ditch the team, Joss. (I remember my disappointment in later Ridley Scott efforts, minus the original team, GI Jane, Gladiator, just not the same as Alien, Bladerunner.)

>> AFAIK, Joss has the only writing credit on the Serenity script. If anyone else contributed it was informal.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 7:27 AM

GROUNDED

When I saw it yesterday there were some laughs when Jane pours alcohol on his leg wound after the mule chase then takes a big swig himself.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 8:13 AM

JRC

Zoe to Mal: "Are we crashing again?"
Mal to Zoe: "Talk to your husband."

Mal to Jayne: "No grenades."
Jayne's facial reaction and word: "Awwww"

Zoe to Jayne (waaaaay O.C.) regarding the grenades: "Jayne, we're robbing the place, not occupying it."

Everyone dies alone.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 8:45 AM

NIKNAK

Jayne: "Don't say the words!"

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 9:48 AM

GREYRAVEN37

When Dr. Mathias says he didn't bring a sword and the Operative holds his sword out to him always causes a murmer of laughter when I've seen it.

"Sure as I know anything, I know this: I aim to misbehave."

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 10:13 AM

LIMINALOSITY

Nice list. There are a few other lines (and business) that have provoked a consistent humor response from Whedon newbies I've brought (so I know these aren't responses from a Browncoat's re-enjoyment), some responses are fairly small (snorts, chortles, etc.) but hey, humor doesn't always tickle the same part of the brain, right? And I promise, I've been vewy vewy quiet, hunting these wabbits, not leading them into the traps myself.

"ain't ever exactly been similar", which is one of my very favorites for Adam's read and Joss' syncopated rhythm and word choices.

"What in the sphincter of Hell"

"I imagine my eyes would be wider"

when Simon innocs Mal by fairly punching him with the needle

"not that you spit"

"[iFaster. Faster./i] Faster would be better."

"hello? Is everybody here?"

"didn't we have a intricate plan" (which I also love for it's rhythms)

"don't [isay/i] it" and "well, now I know that"

"the voice of the somnambulant public"

"this is my Lovebot"

when Mal asks Mr Universe "please?"

"the Oaty Bar?"

the replay of the Oaty Bar advert

"I got a way? That better'n a plan?"

business, not a line: when Mal runs his hands through his hair on the "good a time as any" line

Mal telling Inara that he hasn't looked in the trunk, and really the whole exchange between them has gotten several pretty strong if quiet reactions every time I've seen it.

another laugh that's not about the line being spoken but about the acting; when the Operative looks around anxiously for Mal as the Lovebot starts the "killed me with his sword" speech

I am so appreciating that people who aren't familiar with either Joss' humor or the patois are getting it down here where the rest of us live. Legs! Legs! Give it some legs!

Thanks for "noble as a grape". I wasn't hearing what it was noble as. When I read it in your post, I thought "noble? grape? well, I guess they [ibecome/i] noble when you make wine out of them" which would be pretty deep and poetical for Jayne, unless I'm still missing something, do tell.

There's something else Jayne says that I'm just not catching the words, though I think maybe I'm catching the meaning alright. In the big bad shoot out, after they've retreated behind the blast doors, Zoe asks Jayne how much ammo they have left and Jayne says some # of
"full clips, plus my" -what? s'cuse me, what? Really? No. What?

Oooooh [ishiny trees!i] Yavanna made shiny trees!

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 10:13 AM

LIMINALOSITY

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 10:19 AM

BENDY

Quote:

There's something else Jayne says that I'm just not catching the words, though I think maybe I'm catching the meaning alright. In the big bad shoot out, after they've retreated behind the blast doors, Zoe asks Jayne how much ammo they have left and Jayne says some # of
"full clips, plus my" -what? s'cuse me, what? Really? No. What?

"We got three full cartridges and my swingin' cod."

That'd set me runnin' t'other way.

我瞄准为他的头。

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 10:22 AM

GREYRAVEN37

Jayne says, "We got three full cartridges and my swingin' cod. That's all."

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 10:29 AM

LIMINALOSITY

that was odd. I doubled it, and while I was trying to figure out how to avoid doubling it, your response appeared.

You will recognise them by the heavy tromp of their new boots.

Exit, pursued by a bear

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 10:32 AM

LIMINALOSITY

and hmmm, a willy/big fish joke?

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 10:38 AM

BENDY

Quote:
Originally posted by liminalosity:
and hmmm, a willy/big fish joke?

Right. As in codpiece.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codpiece

我瞄准为他的头。

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 11:00 AM

FANTASTICLAUGHINGFAIRY

What about -

"Target the reavers! Target everyone! Somebody shoot something!"

That one cracks me up every time! As well as the look on the Operative's face when he says it. Genius. Don't you just love Chiwetal?

FLF's lovin the Operative! In a non-kinky way.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 2:08 PM

DONCOAT

Jayne's line is "Three full mags and my swingin' cod. That's all." The last part is often covered by laughs. But I've also heard dead silence on that line -- it does come at a pretty tense moment. Anyhow, this one definitely goes on my list, along with "Well don't SAY it" and "Oh. Well now I know that." -- another double hitter I forgot about.

(Mags, of course, is short for magazines.)

Another omission was the "didn't bring a sword" line (then, schhhhing!). Good catch. I've also heard nervous laughter on "This is a good death" (in the same scene). The latter is probably not what Joss intended though.

What do you think, should I go back and edit in the additions to my list (with credit to the contributors), or leave it as is and let the followups cover my lapses?

Kinda interesting how Jayne gets so many of the best laugh lines. I agree 100% with Liminalosity's remarks about the interesting phrasing and cadences Joss gives him. I bet a lot of actors would have trouble with lines like those, but Adam makes them sound perfectly natural.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 2:17 PM

DONCOAT

I thought of one more line that I think was supposed to be a laugh, but doesn't seem to work (at least not in the theaters I've been going to). It's in the opening "oner", when Simon's giving Mal his innoc. Deflecting Simon's criticisms, Mal says, "Honestly, Doctor, I think we may really crash this time anyway". Never got a reaction that I heard, except a chuckle from me. It's actually a pretty good Mal-ism.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 2:20 PM

DONCOAT

One more comment and I'll shut up and let somebody else talk

We've mentioned a lot of laughs that work, and a few that didn't. But one thing I've never heard in any showing I've been to: that's a laugh at a moment where there's not supposed to be one.

I think that says a lot about the writing.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 4:05 PM

KHYRON

"Yes, I've read a poem, try not to faint."

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Sunday, October 16, 2005 7:23 PM

LIMINALOSITY

Codpiece, yes, hello, where was I. Thinking his last name is Cobb, and it wasn't gelling. Just Jayne being rude, with Shakespeare spice, try not to faint.

There are maybe a few more to catch. If you wanted to just edit it down, you've clearly got the chronology, and it would be fun to see the whole list somewhere. Credit? I don' need no stinkin' credit (sorry, from High Sierra ya know) It's a great list.

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Monday, October 17, 2005 5:58 AM

DONCOAT

Okay, I've created a journal on RottenTomatoes with my updated list. I have included some, but not all, of the suggestions from you good Browncoats.

You can get to it directly through this link:
http://rottentomatoes.com/vine/j/Donnie+B.

Glad you've been having fun with this thread!

Added: Arrgh, the link doesn't work -- the period at the end is actually part of the link, but this BB automatically drops it. You can make it work by cutting/pasting the whole line into your browser.

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Monday, October 17, 2005 7:27 AM

ODDNESS2HER

Let's not forget

"'Course, that ain't exactly Plan A."

Huge laugh every time.

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Monday, October 17, 2005 9:28 AM

QUEENOFTHENORTH

You guys are missing a good one!

Wash: "Tell me again about the part where Jayne gets beat up by a 90-lb girl. You know that's never getting old."

This got lots of laughs in the theatre I was in, anyway. Might have missed it because lots of other people were talking at the same time. I'm always listening for Wash-isms, though.

I'm trying to think of how you could be cruder, but it's just not coming.

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Monday, October 17, 2005 10:16 AM

LIMINALOSITY

I got the German version of the FUp page from the evil empire:
Datei wurde nicht gefunden
which always tickles.

Serenity in 2000 words. Go visit thread please. Go, all go! You will scream and scream, and your laugh muscles will get stronger.
Don't miss the link to the Silmarillion if it pleases.

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Monday, October 17, 2005 11:56 AM

SHINY

Quote:
Originally posted by liminalosity:
and hmmm, a willy/big fish joke?

See the definition under 'archaic':

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=Cod

;)

---

Serenity is coming. 9/30/05.

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Monday, October 17, 2005 12:28 PM

LIMINALOSITY

And the little old ladies think raunch was invented last week. Love it. I mean, eeeuw.

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Monday, October 17, 2005 12:38 PM

DONCOAT

Quote:
Originally posted by queenofthenorth:
You guys are missing a good one!

Wash: "Tell me again about the part where Jayne gets beat up by a 90-lb girl. You know that's never getting old."

Dang, you're right! That one might ought to be on the "sure-fire" list.

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