Hunt for the Secret Hidey Place of Nice Boys by mai

This sounds like a thread by the givers of pain and delight.

(Okay, I'll tell ya, the Secret Hidey Place is bookstores and libraries and Fireflyfans.net )

Chrisisall Nice

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:02 PM

Now that's an interesting theory Chrisisall, and would work. 'Cept as previously mentioned the ones that aren't so nice know where to hang out and pretend to be a part of the nice guy club. So, the question becomes how do you tell 'em apart? Is there a code word or somethin'?

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:05 PM

The others ok, that may have to be our first stop to investigate.
Who here is good at crashin' planes on mysterious islands?

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:11 PM

R1Z

Quote:
Is there a code word or somethin'?

There's a secret hand shake, but I can't tell you what it is, 'cause it's secret.

To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. --Robt. Heinlein

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:13 PM

CASUALTY

I'm not sure about planes but I can crash other things! Or maybe thats crash into other things. I'm very accident prone.

I thought I'd found a nice guy the other day. Turns out he was nice to me, not so nice to some other people I know. I just can't win.

------------
"If nothing we do means anything then the only thing that means anything is what we do"
"This is the Captain. There's a litle problem with our entry sequence, we may experience some slight turbulance and then explode."

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:13 PM

THESOMNAMBULIST

Hey, it's not that we're hiding it's just that when it comes down to it, you gals don't actually like nice guys....

...I'd show you my scars but I'd have to open up my insides for you to see them :(

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:16 PM

Maybe some don't like the nice ones, but that's sorta the point of the thread. We are the few, the proud, the really wanna nice guy kinda girls. Hence the search! So come out, come out, wherever you are!

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:32 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL

Ric this is Mai...Mai this is Ric.

play nice!

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:39 PM

YORG

Nice guys are so boring, predictable, wimpy and have low self-esteem.

Let me relate this topic to Firefly (and thus ruining the randomness of the thread).

Take Simon for example. He's a nice guy. Always trying to be proper and polite and help his sister. All good things. But he's a real sad sac for most of the series. He's too cerebral. But after being on the Serenity for a while, you can see him grow as a person. He finds strength through trials and shows signs of becoming a whole man.

Now take Jayne for example. He's a jerk. Thinks about himself nearly 100% of the time. Speaks his mind (the little there is of it). He does show some emotion, but only in extreme situations.

Then there's Wash. He's a fairly nice guy, but only until he's pushed too far. He's very reliable but doesn't handle things in stride. He worries too much.

And finally there's Mal. He is a man who has all the qualities of a man, and Joss had to make him this way on purpose. Simply because it would be very tough to believe that he's a captain of a crew if he's not solid. Mal can be sweet and tender, but he won't take flack. His stength comes from his belief in himself and he doesn't wait for others approval.

What usually happens to nice guys is that they start out like Simon. They end up finding a girl who claims to want a nice guy. The girl gets fed up with the nice guy, cause he's lame (as all nice guys are), and drops him like a bad habit. Then the guy at some point realises that life isn't about living up to other people's expectations all the time. It's about being your own person and doing so with fervor.

Nice guys only exist in a place in time before they get trampled on by girls, then they branch off into a few different paths.

1. The jerk. Afraid of being hurt again, he takes it upon himself to do the hurting and thus remain safe within his little bubble of jerkness.

2. The loser. Gives up. He just gives up all hope and lets his life fall apart.

3. The real man. Slowly comes to the understanding that accepting oneself is vital to developing real strength of character.

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:39 PM

LOFWYRR

I'll tell you where we are. We're driving you home from the bar, drunk, as you cry about the hot guy that 'broke your heart' that night at the bar. We're holding back your hair as you puke. We're sitting at home when you call and say that your date for the night cancelled and can you come over and talk. We're sitting at the bar with you, watching your purse as you go up to the bar or out on the dance floor to hit on the hot guy, trying to get him to buy you drinks. We're waiting for you to realize that we'll treat you well all the time, not just when the hot, or rich, or nice car-having guys are done with you.

We're right in front of you.

Not that I'm bitter or anything

Be wary of rousing the wrath of wizards, for you are flammable and conduct electricity.

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:40 PM

CASUALTY

Sorry, Mai to hijack your thread but I'm doing very important Team Random initiations. There must be a few nice guys on the rugby team right?

http://www.kentrugby.co.uk/photo.php?t=2&id=12

------------
"If nothing we do means anything then the only thing that means anything is what we do"
"This is the Captain. There's a litle problem with our entry sequence, we may experience some slight turbulance and then explode."

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:41 PM

Rule #1: disqualify any boy who nominates (or tries to nominate) himself. Nice boys don't think of themselves as such, it's part of how they stay nice instead of narcissistic.

Posting here is a prime cause for suspicion of maneuvering for nomination.

"Not a nice boy, but might play one on TV"

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"That's what governments are for, [to] get in a man's way." -- Malcolm Reynolds

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:44 PM

http://www.theniceguycomic.com/index.html

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"That's what governments are for, [to] get in a man's way." -- Malcolm Reynolds

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:52 PM

LOTRSTARWARSAAFAN

What do you mean as a nice guy, because some people would say im one of the nicest guys in the world and then some people would say that im one of the worst.

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Monday, October 24, 2005 12:56 PM

EVILBUNNIES

I'm with Causalty on this... sorry to hijack your thread too. You understand, with all this random initiation stuff right? Last post woo hoo!

My broken bicycle sits all alone
While I try my best to conduct this poem.
I found the buckin bronco Matt, its safe now
If she ever stole it, I don't know how.
Never mix flapjacks and turkey together
A Fannypack full of money will make one feel much better.
Sadly I don't know to how to work crisyllis into this poem
Anyone else agree Sean's abs are completely toned?
At long last this poem is done, I'll leave you to muse
That once my fake husband went on a gay cruise.

Mal: Define interesting.
Wash: Oh god, oh god, we're all gonna die?

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Monday, October 24, 2005 1:00 PM

I ... like it! I agree with all your character examples. (and we'll just pretend you didn't say mean things about my Simon)

Seriously, speaking for myself, I wasn't defining the nice guy as some doormat who doesn't care. To me nice doesn't = weak. Nice doesn't even have to mean overt gestures like opening doors and such (not that there's a thing wrong with such gestures, to the nice girls they are very much appreciated). For me the nice guy is open, funny, understands the word compromise,unafraid to speak his mind, but at the same time willing to listen and take in other ideas/points of view. Theres a list that could go on and on, but i think you get the idea.

Quote:
Nice guys only exist in a place in time before they get trampled on by girls,

I agree with this statement somewhat, but...

1. It goes both ways, we all have had that expereince(s) where our hearts our ripped out and trampled to tiny pieces and we can't figure it out.
2. Its not all our fault, no matter what the guy was like to begin with he is who he is even if he tries not be.
3. Not all women have a secret fantasies about the bad boy type. Macho is one thing, but ultra- aggressive, insensitive, self-centered is something that we don't crave. Though, I'm sure some do.
4. This post is getting entirely to serious and I don't want to turn into some snipey, man bashing thread.

Quote:
3. The real man. Slowly comes to the understanding that accepting oneself is vital to developing real strength of character.

These are the ones were lookin' for! Maybe they aren't all hiding, maybe they are just shy or scared or whatever. This is just kind of a very round about way of saying: Nice guy wanted, please inquire within.

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Monday, October 24, 2005 1:01 PM

Yes, Casualty, very nice indeed!

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Monday, October 24, 2005 1:03 PM

AHHHH! I've been threadjacked ... twice!!!

I feel so special

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Monday, October 24, 2005 1:04 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by mai:
So, the question becomes how do you tell 'em apart? Is there a code word or somethin'?

Tell a supposed nice guy that you appreciate his interest in you, but that you're a lesbian. Say that you really like him though, and would like him to be your friend. If he still wants to be your friend with no booty to be gained, you got your answer. Most will bolt.

That help?

Chrisisall

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Monday, October 24, 2005 1:06 PM

Be careful Chris: there's that small chance to run afoul of someone who thinks they're the right boy to "cure" her. Of course, that's another big giveaway, so methinks your tactic still holds water.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"That's what governments are for, [to] get in a man's way." -- Malcolm Reynolds

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Monday, October 24, 2005 1:09 PM

*writes down new and very helpful info in her How to find a nice guy, no really an actual nice guy book*

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Monday, October 24, 2005 1:23 PM

Mai! Yay for the nice guy thread! And I like your definition.

Lofwyrr-don't be bitter! Bitter is not attractive at all. Stay good Lofwyrr! Stay good!

And for the record, I've never been one of those mean girls that use nice guys.

The problem is that sometimes we don't know a guy likes us. If he doesn't make a move, how are we to know?

Sorry, being serious.

I make really yummy brownies. Yummy brownies for the person who gives away the secret location of the nice guy hideout.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Monday, October 24, 2005 1:26 PM

PURPLEYIN

How would one qualify a 'real man'?
Does this mean most males are infact not real? How does this function? And could this not be a manifestation of someones tastes, as opposed to some galactic standard that all males are tried against?

In more relevent news- have you tried under the bed?

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Monday, October 24, 2005 1:30 PM

REALLYKAYLEE

The story of my life:

me: *wow you're really hot and sweet!*
him: *laugh at my jokes, complement my looks, discuss politics without attacks*
me (later that night): he's got to have a girlfriend
bf: no he definitely doesn't have a girlfriend.
me: so what's the problem?
bf: he DEFINITELY doesn't have a girlfriend

now he's one of my super great friends and i think we can relate on a lot of issues that a straight guy friend couldn't. i thank jesus everytime i see him that we have the relationship we do!

note: um- [bold] i don't want a bad boy!! [/bold] *waits patiently*

shakespeare: more words than God.

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Monday, October 24, 2005 1:31 PM

Here's another: watch Somewhere In Time(Christopher Reeve, Jayne Seymour, 1980) with a guy and see if he cries at the end. Any guy that don't cry- hit the ejector button.

Chrisisserious

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Monday, October 24, 2005 2:03 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:
The problem is that sometimes we don't know a guy likes us. If he doesn't make a move, how are we to know?

I was at a party once where there was a girl I wanted to talk to, and I couldn't think of any way to introduce myself that didn't sound like a come-on. Just as my friends were leaving I walked up to her and said, "I've been noticing you at this party, and I couldn't think of a way to meet you. I have to go now, and, uh, I just had to say you're the prettiest girl here tonight. Bye."
I turned to walk away and she tapped my shoulder. "My name's Jane."
Talk about COOL!!! (nothing ever came of it, but that's besides the point)
If a guy likes you, he'll FIND a way to tell you!
With ultra-shy guys you can tell because they'll always be looking away from you just as you look at them.
Just striking up a conversation about Serenity out of the blue works too.

Chrisisall, advice to the romance-seekers everywhere

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Monday, October 24, 2005 2:12 PM

DREAMTROVE

Okay, here's one I actually know the answer to. Actually I know the answer to most question :)

Not Me.

I'm the guy who think Jayne is about as nice as a guy needs to be.

But I do know where they are.

Girl geeks and guy geeks hide out in different areas, for some reason, they never seem to figure this out, and so never run into one another.

Girl tend to take their geeking in one of these venues: reading, chatting, or partying. As a result girls geeks can be found at libraries, bookstores, online forums like this one, and at sci-fi theme conventions which are not gaming cons. Show specific cons are sometimes overwhelmingly female. I went to the La Femme Nikita cons and there were never more than half a dozen guys there.

So that's where the girls are, but that wasn't the question.

WHERE THE BOYS ARE:

Guys gravitate to gaming, and competition. For geek guys, this means that you will find them in a college computer lab, at a college gaming, or at a game store. Here you will find not only nice guys who fit the above qualifications, and appreciate whedon, but these guys will also be highly available as they haven't seen a female in a fortnight.

Now, admittedly, some of these guys will be big fat hairy smelly toads. This is true. However there will be plenty there that are plenty attractive as much as any other venue. I know many gamers with as much charisma as simon or mal, and as few dating options as Jayne, to wit, "I'll be in my bunk."

So, wymyn who seek nice guys, get the to a local gaming crowd. Seek out a LARP group, it has room for plenty of cosplay and is physcially active as to screen out the most degenerate sloths. Then you can go through and date them all one by one, but remember:

Keep only the ones you want, and cancel at any time.

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Monday, October 24, 2005 2:13 PM

SAFEAT2ND

Mai, nice guys come in all shapes and sizes. Not all nice guys are wimps. As far as I'm concerned, a nice guy is a combination of necessary traits.

#1) Be a gentleman. This doesn't mean you have to open every door, but it wouldn't hurt.
#2) Be romantic. Remember birthdays and Valentines day, but don't over-do it. That just comes across as cheesey.
#3) Know what compromise means. If it's all about you, then you are not a man, you are still a boy.
#4) Self confidence. Stand up for yourself when you are right. This means standing up for your girlfriend/wife too. Even from your buddies. This doesn't mean you have to fight everybody, but if it's unavoidable...

I've been accused of being a "nice guy". Sometimes I don't like the label, other times, I'm flattered, but I never, EVER, go looking for the praise.

So, If I may be considered a nice guy...I hang out at the softball diamonds. But don't take my word for it.

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Monday, October 24, 2005 3:24 PM

SERAFIMO

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
Here's another: watch Somewhere In Time(Christopher Reeve, Jayne Seymour, 1980) with a guy and see if he cries at the end. Any guy that don't cry- hit the ejector button.

Chrisisserious

Can I add a movie that that? Iron Giant. I'm absolutely serious.
The only time I've ever seen one of my guy friends cry is during that movie.
It's bizarre, but effective.

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 3:42 AM

Uh huh, I agree. There are many out there, and Iron Giant is definitly one.
The Abyss is another; if a guy isn't moved to tears by what Ed Harris types regarding his wife on the way down the trench, he ain't no kind of romantic (a desirable trait of the so-called 'nice guy').

Chrisisall*snif*

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 4:00 AM

Hmmm...Mai, in respose to DreamTrove's suggestion about roll playing: we do hang out on the TREE. That's role playing, isn't it?

And I like Safe's suggestions. They are all very true, and are things that most women look for and find attractive.

A guy may be hotter than Sean Maher (is it possible?) but if he's insensitive or unwilling to compromise or treats you poorly, it's never going to work out. And self confidence is a major turn on.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 4:05 AM

SAFEAT2ND

Nope, that's collective story telling....

ya ya that's the ticket...

Not role playing...story telling...role playing requires some sort of dice right? RIGHT??

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 4:45 AM

SMAUG

No I'm not... I'm a very bad man..

That leaves me out..

Smaug..

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 5:01 AM

Dunno if you're a very bad man, but you're definitely a very bad dragon.

Bad Dragon! *shakes finger at Smaug*

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 5:05 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by safeat2nd:
Nope, that's collective story telling....

ya ya that's the ticket...

Not role playing...story telling...role playing requires some sort of dice right? RIGHT??

Yes, I like that. Collective Storytelling.

Having the same troubles coming to grips with your newfound nerd reality that I am?

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 5:09 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by safeat2nd:
role playing requires some sort of dice right? RIGHT??

You might be confusing "role playing" with "roll playing."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"That's what governments are for, [to] get in a man's way." -- Malcolm Reynolds

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 5:21 AM

*rolls eyes at Spinny's bad pun*

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 5:40 AM

SMAUG

Quote:
Dunno if you're a very bad man, but you're definitely a very bad dragon.

Bad Dragon! *shakes finger at Smaug*

LOL..

Yes.. you are probably right..

Smaug valued and protected and cherished his treasure above ALL things.. even more than his own life... to the point of his own death.

You are right... bad dragon!!

But what if he felt this same passion with such an intensity.. but his treasure would be a woman's soul?

Still a bad dragon?

Well.. it can scorch.. I do breath fire..

Smaug..

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 6:22 AM

BLACKEYEDGIRL

My Idea of the Real Man, By BlackEyedGurl:

1. Real Men do not say cheesy crap with the intention of getting in your pants. Example: a seemingly nice guy hugs me, and says 'holding you gets me through the week' to which I called FOUL! I then said: Does that work? Does that get you into girls pants? He was stunned, and after a minute said: If I had said something dirty would it have worked? NOT A NICE GUY!

2. Real Men understand that Real Women (not those gold digging bitches) don't need everything paid for, taken care of, or to be coddled and pampered like a poodle. Real men respect women, and do not attempt to buy them. Real men also do not nooch off of a generous woman, nor do they get all shitty when a woman pays for something. We are generally not looking to support you or put you in the poor-house, its all about the give and take, the equality.

3. Real Men have lives of their own, friends of their own and do not expect a woman to be the center of their universe. Such expectations are impossible to live up to, and very few women really want to be the only thing in your life. We might bitch that you are going out with the guys AGAIN, but secretly we are glad to have a few hours to ourselves to bitch and moan about you on the phone to our friends (in a caring way, not in a I hate him and plan his death way).

4. Real Men are not looking to marry or date their mothers. If I had a nickle for every guy who went after a girl just to have someone to make them food and wash their boxers I would be a rich woman. We are not your mothers, get the fuck over it.

5. Real Men are friends with you first and foremost. They are people who see you as a human being and not as a warm blow up doll. Real Men don't stay for the sex, they stay for the conversation, the sex is just a bonus.

But that's just my view. I don't want a 100% nice guy, cos I can't stand a push-over or someone lacking a spine. I want someone with a pair of balls that can respect me and whom I can respect for making good decisions and being a decent human being. Most "nice" guys are either deceptive, manipulative little fucks who are only playing nice to snag a girl, or are kinda lame. This is not to say all nice guys suck. There are a few left out there who haven't been crushed under the heel of some satanic harpy. But I think those few may be hiding in caves or something, cos they don't seem to come out much.

This is why I have decided to not 'date.' I hate the idea, I'd rather hang and be friends with someone and really get to know them, not under the artificial auspices of a date.

If you can't tell, I've had a lot of run-ins with the pseudo-nice, the ones who bait and switch. So now I barely trust any of you. The minute you seem nice, I get suspicious. But that's me, I'm bitter, with cats. ;) Sadly, it doesn't stop me from liking boys!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
http://pluraplofapocalypse.blogspot.com
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Inara: "Do aliens live among us?"
Kaylee: "Yes. One of them's a doctor."

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 7:18 AM

JADEHAND

you know, there are a few guys out there, some probably reading this, thinking the exact same thing about where all the good women are. I don't want a woman who wants to be bought, and I need time for my friends, they've been in my life for 15 years, they will remain important, but not neccessarily take priority. Women I'm interested in are nothing like my mother, and I hope they aren't thinking about daddy when I'm with them. Hanging out with someone as friends is the best way to get to know the real them, not the mask many people wear when they go on dates.
"spine's in tact."
*goes back to cave looking for satanic harpy*

Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live
"Dreaming the dream that only the sleepless know."

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 7:34 AM