OK and now for the 10 WORST movies... by Chindi

Just one for me:

I HATE HATE HATE Forrest Gump with a deep and abiding loathing that makes me want to projectile vomit when it's mentioned ...

I once went on a date which was going fairly well till we got to films. I said; "there's one film I really hate...” etc ...

He paused, looked down at his plate, sighed and said in a tiny voice; "that's my favourite film, but anyway ..."

I'm sure you can imagine the sudden and inevitable downward spiral of an evening that ensued...

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Thursday, November 10, 2005 11:04 PM

YORG

I don't actively seek out bad movies, but sometimes you just are in the wrong place at the wrong time. And so, in no particular order.

Pinocchio (Roberto Benigni version) - What a turd of a movie. I wanted to punch myself in the eye after watching it (this is actually the movie I consider the worst EVER).

Star Wars (All three new ones) - After watching these, I wanted to punch George Lucas in the eye. The only redeeming qualities are Darth Maul, Yoda and light sabers.

You got served - I did get served . . . by watching this vomit inducing crapfest.

Forces of Nature - I hate Ben Affleck soooo much.

Like Mike - Stupid stupid stupid why did I watch this, WHY!!!

Battlefield Earth - After the movie I actually apologised to my friend for making him see it with me. What the hell was this movie supposed to be anyway?

Batman and Robin (Clooney and Kilmer both sucked) - Gay. Super gay.

Blair Witch Project - Um . . . not scary, nor was it entertaining. Damn independent films.

Grease 2 - It's as if they took what made the original Grease good and threw it out and made the lamest movie they could think of.

Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions - I fully understand that they wanted to take our money, but come on, put a little effort into your work people.

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Thursday, November 10, 2005 11:44 PM

JUKO

I Spit On Your Grave - about as much fun as a bucket of spit. Seriously.

Lost And Delirious - not even a lesbian sex scene could make up for the crud-tastically atrocious dialogue.

The Ewok Adventure/Ewoks: The Battle For Endor - trust me, Lucas' prequels are artistic masterpieces compared to these two clunkers.

Joe Dirt - Actually, anything with David Spade in it. Now I know what brain damage is like.

Dumb And Dumberer - who'd'a thunk it... a movie even stupider than Dumb And Dumber.

Dumb And Dumber - One way to toss away a five buck rental fee.

Batman And Robin/Batman Forever - No wonder DC Comics movies sucked for so long. Though anytime I rag on Kilmer, I just pop in Heat and watch him kick some ass.

Robocop... all of them - they just plain sucked.

Romeo and Juliet - actually, every Leo DiCaprio movie prior to Gangs of New York and excluding What's Eating Gilbert Grape.

Every Steven Seagal movie - god, I just want to see this guy get his tail kicked in. Only saving grace of Executive Decision was the fact that his character bit it.

Eh, there's my ten even with a little... cheating. And I have so many more candidates.

Does Blue Sun sponser the Blue Man Group?

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Friday, November 11, 2005 1:20 AM

Hey Chindi

Ok what follows is in no particular order, just the first that come to mind. So:

1Crash (David Cronenberg) I just cannot stand films that use taboo subjects and pretend to be intelectual about them!!!! Like watching a man's perversion twenty foot high on the screen.

2DamageThat thing with Jeremy Irons... Over dramatic flim-flam. Septic cinema!!!!

3The Fifth Element Too much like a boy's wet dream!!! Terrible!!!!

4Van Helsing Utter rubbish!

5A Clockwork Orange... Not a fan of this. Easy shock tactics cinema.

6The Idiots Simplistic sensationalist rubbsih, again using taboo subjects!!! Weak.

7Gladiator Just did nothing for me. Really pedestrian.

8Requiem for a dream Paint by numbers style melodrama. Utterly pointless!!!!!

9DraculaThe Coppola one. Dreadful.

10Legends of the Fall I think that's what it was called with Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins!!! What RuuuuuuuBBBish!!!!!

Ok I'm sure I have more that I consider the worse, but these jumped out at me as I wrote so I guess that signifies something.

Cheers
The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Friday, November 11, 2005 1:39 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Zoot:
Just one for me:

I HATE HATE HATE Forrest Gump with a deep and abiding loathing that makes me want to projectile vomit when it's mentioned ...

I once went on a date which was going fairly well till we got to films. I said; "there's one film I really hate...” etc ...

He paused, looked down at his plate, sighed and said in a tiny voice; "that's my favourite film, but anyway ..."

I'm sure you can imagine the sudden and inevitable downward spiral of an evening that ensued...

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

Oh Zoot!!! You poor thing. Could you not get past your differences over the film? Sometimes having things you feel opposite about can work quite well.

My girlfriend loves musicals, indescriminatley, and I loath them!!! She hates Sci-fi and I love Sci-fi, well some anyway, but point is it actually makes life more interesting. She tries to convince me to watch musicals, and I try to convince her to watch Sci-fi... well Serenity actually, but she's kinda stubborn, but it's all good natured fun trying to convince each other...

Anyway just thought that was interesting how you found your direct cineamtic opposite.

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Friday, November 11, 2005 2:12 AM

The Somnambulist,

I normally don't mind differences... I mean I'm not an avid sci-fi viewer and I hate sci-fi or indeed fantasy books (Tolkien excluded) … I’m not great on horror movies and it takes a lot to make me watch something with subtitles (although just watched Y Tu Mama Tambien – and that makes even subtitles steamy!) but there are just some things I can’t stomach – and one is liking Forrest Gump, the other is being a labour or conservative mp – hell, let’s face it, just an MP is bad enough and agreeing with the government about anything is likely to put me off (apparently I’m a bit picky) ….

I too have a serious problem with musicals – I like anything prior to about 1960 but after that – nah! Was forced to go see Phantom of the Opera last year and ended up making a nasty place on my arm due to the stress and general horror caused!!

I guess I don’t have a problem except when the differences indicate underlying moral divergence (I really think to like Forrest Gump is a mental as well as moral aberration) … It would drive me mad however if my partner wouldn’t see Serenity – After all, demographically it’s done better amongst women … It would rile me horribly that she was missing out on witty dialogue etc. which she will surely love!!!

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Friday, November 11, 2005 3:04 AM

TIGER

1. The Lord of the Rings
2. The Lord of the Rings
3. The Lord of the Rings
4. The Lord of.... do I really have to do this all the way to ten? You get it.

Without a doubt, the most overrated movies of all time. Convoluted, indecipherable, so-called script. Filled with great actors that never got the chance to act (with the possible exception of a few lines by Astin and Wood - that's out of 3 entire movies mind you). Good visuals is the only nice thing it's possible to say about it.

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Friday, November 11, 2005 3:49 AM

Highlander 2
Steel Magnolias
Matrix Revolutions
American Hot Wax
Forbidden Zone
28 Days Later
Reign of Fire (it had so much potential...)
Star Wars I
Star Wars II
Star Wars III (Lucas made my Sith-Lord cry!)

Chrisisall

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Friday, November 11, 2005 4:01 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tiger:
1. The Lord of the Rings
2. The Lord of the Rings
3. The Lord of the Rings
4. The Lord of.... do I really have to do this all the way to ten? You get it.

Without a doubt, the most overrated movies of all time. Convoluted, indecipherable, so-called script. Filled with great actors that never got the chance to act (with the possible exception of a few lines by Astin and Wood - that's out of 3 entire movies mind you). Good visuals is the only nice thing it's possible to say about it.

I totally agree - and get nothing but loadsa flack from friends, but basically these films lacked any soul.

Tiger you and me we stand alone.

Cheers
The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Friday, November 11, 2005 4:09 AM

Other than technically looking very nice, the LOTR movies left me rather cold. I've seen each one once, I really don't know if I'll ever invest the time to do so again.
Legend was a better fantasy film, IMHO.

Put your dark arms about me Chrisisall

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Friday, November 11, 2005 4:12 AM

SPINLAND

Anything starring Sylvester Stallone.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"That's what governments are for, [to] get in a man's way." -- Malcolm Reynolds

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Friday, November 11, 2005 4:17 AM

Zoot wrote:

Quote:

it takes a lot to make me watch something with subtitles (although just watched Y Tu Mama Tambien – and that makes even subtitles steamy!)

Oh if you don't like subs you're missing out on some great films!!!! Give 'em a chance!!!

However I didn't get on with that film Y Tu Mama Tambien just kinda rubbed me up the wrong way.

Quote:
(apparently I’m a bit picky) ….

Nothing wrong with that Zoot. Just you have your criteria right?

Quote:
I too have a serious problem with musicals – I like anything prior to about 1960 but after that – nah!

There's only two good musicals in the world. "Singing in the Rain" and "The Blues Brothers"

Quote:
I guess I don’t have a problem except when the differences indicate underlying moral divergence (I really think to like Forrest Gump is a mental as well as moral aberration)

Hey I guess we've all got our ways, but for me personally I can't take films that seriously. I understand what your saying about a moral stand point, but then unless you maybe engage with some of these personalities, they will always remain closed off and stunted. Perhaps gettiing through to some people and letting them see the light, or 'your' light in this case, could maybe be beneficial. I dunno I'm only thinking out loud.

I don't like that film either - but I think if I were to take a pollitical stand point on a number of films, I probably couldn't justify watching and/or enjoying them either... Which may ultimately lead to some great friendships collapsing under the strain.....

Quote:
It would drive me mad however if my partner wouldn’t see Serenity

Well thing is I'm kinda confident I'll get her around to it. She'll cave and when she does it'll be a wonderful day. Because yeah she'll see how great Serenity, Firefly, Angel and Buffy are, and when those days come we'll get to enjoy them together. Hence the benefits on persisting with people who perhaps don't initially see your point of view, and vice versa... Sometimes you can get more satisfaction out of a person if it's taken a little effort... Sometimes.

Cheers
The
Somambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Friday, November 11, 2005 4:23 AM

that's very upbeat, S, let us know what she thinks when she's finally brow-beaten into watching them ...

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Friday, November 11, 2005 4:28 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Zoot:
I too have a serious problem with musicals –

For me, singing + cartoons=

Now Titan AE and Lilo and Stitch I got no issues with.

Not a West Side Story fan Chrisisall

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Friday, November 11, 2005 4:39 AM

WHat about the Animaniacs?? - thee's singing in that and yet it's a work of genius ...

I mean, such lyrics:
Pinky: Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?
Brain: Same thing we do every night Pinky, TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

They're Pinky and The Brain
Yes Pinky and The Brain
One is a genius, the other's insane
They're laboratory mice, their genes have been spliced
They're dinky, they're Pinky and The Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain

Before each night is done, their plan will be unfurled
By the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world
They're Pinky and The Brain
Yes Pinky and The Brain
The Twilight Campaign is easy to explain
They'll prove they're mousy worth, and overthrow the earth
They're dinky, they're Pinky and The Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Narf!

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Friday, November 11, 2005 4:43 AM

UNREGISTEREDCOMPANION

1. U-Turn with Sean Penn.

2.The Longest Yard* remake
3. Little Nikki*
4. Joe Dirt
5. Unfaithful with Richard Gere

6. The Hours with Nicole Kidman. This is the one where she puts on a fake nose and tries to be Virgina Woolf. Had I directed this, it would have been called "The Minutes" because I would have killed her myself in the first 2 minutes of the movie.
7. Johnson Family Vacation

8. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. SO SO Bad!!! (But it did make for a great Mystery Science Theater episode)
9. Cabin Fever
10. Anaconda (I was rooting for the snake)

While 2 Adam Sandler movies did make my list of all time worst, Happy Gilmore is one of my fav's.

~~~~~
"Funny and sexy. You have no idea. And you never will."

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Friday, November 11, 2005 4:51 AM

Pinky and the Brain don't count as normal cartoons.

Chrisisall right when the singin's funny

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Friday, November 11, 2005 5:00 AM

TIGER

Quote:
Other than technically looking very nice, the LOTR movies left me rather cold. I've seen each one once, I really don't know if I'll ever invest the time to do so again.
Legend was a better fantasy film, IMHO.

Wow, I really expected to be slammed by a miilion elf lovers, instead I get two people agreeing with me. Shocker!

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Friday, November 11, 2005 5:01 AM

THESENTINEL

Wow...you folks have some crappy taste in movies. WORST movies is very subjective, so I can understand the differences in "opinion", but thankfully most of you aren't movie critics.

Here are the top 10 movies that disappointed me the most:

1. Scary Movie: At first it's somewhat funny, but then it's just SO over-the-top that it ceases to be funny. In other words, too much shock value = not shocking.

2. Cats and Dogs: Without a doubt the WORST computer animation on a big screen film ever. Jeff Goldblum's worst film and that is saying something!

3. The Minion: This Dolph Lundgren film is even bad for a B-movie. The only movie I have EVER turned off half way through! SUCK SUCK SUCK.

4. Lost Highway: I was so psyched to see this film. Had wanted to see it for years actually. And all I get is David Lynch psucho-babble with NO ENDING. Someone forgot to teach David about conclusions in his English classes.

5. Star Wars Episode I: II and III were tolerable (III was almost on the level with the original trilogy), but I still can't somach episode I...and I've tried. The kid that plays Annakin was just awful. Jar Jar was...well no comment needed. And DARTH MAUL! WHY TAKE ONE OF THE COOLEST VILLAINS EVER AND GIVE HIM NO F'ING SCREEN TIME. Nice one Lucas!!!

6. Blind Fury. I remember really liking this movie when I was twelve. Put it in for my wife and made her watch it...she immediately lost all faith in my film-taste. Total horrible crap-plot B-movie. But an awesome concept.

7. Flash Gordon. I know I may hurt some folks with this one, but I remember it being so cool as a kid! Watching it as an adult was a big let-down. I hate movies with sport-stars where they incorporate their sport into the movie. This includes professional wrestling.

8. Wing Commander: Went to see this for the Episode I preview...see above and wished I had left after word. Power Ranger bad-guys...crappy acting...and nowhere NEAR a military environment.

9. Nightmare on Elmstreet: Another movie that USED to be good. Now, the special effects are so bad it's actually funny to watch.

10. Daredevil: Kevin Smith's run on the new series was awesome! So why not have him direct? Though we still would have ended up with Affleck (btw Changing Lanes his a good Affleck movie). The gasoline DD in the subway was what KILLED it for me. Crap compared to some of the comic storylines.

There you have it...

Adam

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Friday, November 11, 2005 5:41 AM

XXIII

Titanic- Easy to knock because of its success but go back and have a look at how bad it really is

Battlefield Earth- See a few of you have it in, absolute must for this list I think

All the Morcambe & Wise movies

The Are you being served movie

Batman & Robin with George Clooney- He's provided more entertainment beating up producers in British nightclubs than this

Jaws with Michael Caine (3?). He didn't even watch it himself

Zardoz- Although massivly entertaining. Never seen it? Rush out and find it for James Bond as you have never seen him before

40 Day and 40 Nights- Josh Hartnett. Usualy a sign of quality I know

Bugsy- Worked for Bonnie in Clyde for half the time

Alexander- Only my favorite director could have the genius to make something so bad

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Friday, November 11, 2005 7:38 AM

SWEETSAXONBOY

Some of your worst are my favourites, but, to quote Emperor Joseph II, "Well, there you have it!". One may reasonally evaluate films by both sundry technical criteria and by one's own "entertainment" score. By my own personal "entertainment value" meter, some of my faves include(not in any particular order):

(1) Gladiator
(2) Deep Blue Sea
(3) The Egyptian
(4) Crash
(5) The Gift
(6) Star Wars V - Empire Strikes Back
(7) A Christmas Carol (Alastair Sim)
(8) Pearl Harbor (Ben Affleck, etc.)
(9) Khartoum
(10) The Passion
(11) Love! Valour! Compassion!
(12) Kill Bill
(13) Aliens
(14) Pitch Black
(15) The Last Samurai
(16) Kingdom of Heaven
(17) Amadeus
(18) Finding Nemo
(19) Ghost in the Shell (anime - both parts)
(20) The Messenger (Joan of Arc)
(21) Ninja Scroll (anime)

I do watch these films repeatedly and always find merit in so many aspects of their production - it's a varied list, and I see lots of entertainment and, in some cases erudition, great talent in each of these films.

Sweetsaxonboy

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Friday, November 11, 2005 8:10 AM

In no order:

1)Constantine- Didn't get any of it, I think it was just another 'cool effects' film. And they weren't amazing.

2)Soul Survivors- Sorry Eliza but this just plain sucked.

3)Scary Movie- Didn't laugh once.

4)Star Wars I- I thought II and III were enjoyable enough, but this was painful.

5)Van helsing- Almost put me off vampires. The worst Dracula film I've seen.

6)Robocop 2- I like 1 & 3, the jetpack is cool! But this one was a mess.

7)Hollowman- Just because

8)Last Action Hero- Had Arnie in it as himself *shudder*

9)Universal Soldier 2- Another case of first one being decent and the sequel being incredibly bad.

10)Scary Movie 2- Havent seen it but I cant think of any more

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Friday, November 11, 2005 8:34 AM

YORG

To those who said Lord of the Rings.

Are you seriously telling me that you can't think of 10 movies worse than the LOTR movies? None?

I think that you are hating LOTR simply because it's so popular and are trying to set yourself apart and be "cool" by not liking it. The LOTR movies cannot possibly be in the 10 WORST movies you've ever seen. Unless you've only seen a small handful of movies in your lifetime.

If you honestly dislike the movies, that's fine, you're entitled to your opinion. But you also can't honestly say that they're the WORST movies. If anything, you have to appreciate all the work and effort that went into them.

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Friday, November 11, 2005 8:38 AM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Quote:
Originally posted by Zoot:
Just one for me:

I HATE HATE HATE Forrest Gump with a deep and abiding loathing that makes me want to projectile vomit when it's mentioned ...

I once went on a date which was going fairly well till we got to films. I said; "there's one film I really hate...” etc ...

He paused, looked down at his plate, sighed and said in a tiny voice; "that's my favourite film, but anyway ..."

I'm sure you can imagine the sudden and inevitable downward spiral of an evening that ensued...

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

That's my favourite movie too. I love it to bits... so keep away from me

and as for musicals... well I watched Phantom of the Opera a few weeks ago and I absolutely loved it. I thought I would cos I liked the songs in it, but I loved it even more than I thought I would

Other great musicals are Singin' in the Rain, West Side Story and Once More With Feeling (The Buffy Musical Episode)

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Friday, November 11, 2005 8:47 AM

STORYMARK

Quote:
Originally posted by yorg:
To those who said Lord of the Rings.

Are you seriously telling me that you can't think of 10 movies worse than the LOTR movies? None?

I think that you are hating LOTR simply because it's so popular and are trying to set yourself apart and be "cool" by not liking it.

Amen to that.

here's my list of the worst:

Battlefield Earth (Have a tasty rat!)
Catwoman (Or Cat-Stripper, as I call it)
The Crow 3&4 (4 especially dissapointed me, since it starred David Boreanaz as the villain, and was directed by the guy who made Six String Samurai, a film I included in my list of overlooked gems)
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (Didn't love the first one either, but this one was an atrocity.)
Soldier (ugh... good cast, good premise, awfull movie)
Hudson Hawk (One of my best friend's favorites, and always a topic of debate between us)
Batman and Robin (Made my eyes bleed)
Highlander 2 (Well shot, and that's about all the good I have to say for it)

And just to throw in on the topic of Gump, I didn't hateit, but I didn't love it (though I have to admit I cried when he's at Jenny's grave). But I still think it's a crime that Gump beat The Shawshank Redemption for best picture. Shawshank is one of my all-time favorites.

"Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."

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Friday, November 11, 2005 8:49 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by yorg:
Are you seriously telling me that you can't think of 10 movies worse than the LOTR movies?

For my part, I just think they're over-rated, and kind of too slick for their own good (in a cgi-kind of way).
But not bad.

Chrisisall

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Friday, November 11, 2005 8:54 AM

The Ring with SMG. Fortunately there can be only one.

Speaking of which, there was a Highlander movie I walked out on not that long ago.

Now, on to whole catagories! Why stop at single attrocities?

Anything with Jean Claude Van Damme.

LOTR. Looked real purdy, sucked real real bad. What a waste, Peter Jackson, you really could have, but you really didn't.

Anything with the possibility of a fight scene involving Yoda, or anyone (except Chris) speaking that gobbeldygook Jar Jar language. Should be shot. On sight. From a cannon. Into a volcano. Wearing chainmail from LOTR.

Anything by way of Broadway from the past 20 years. I don't condem the genre, but the current crop of writers (that's right, I meant all living writers of musicals) are frighteningly terrible and appalingly self-congratulatory, and some of them even have souvenier gloves from the queen. Crikey!

Romantic Comedy. When have I ever seen a good one? I don't think so, unless you count Kevin Smith, and that's stretching the genre into another dimension. OK, I ammend that to romantic comedy produced after 1967, because there is a stack of old ones I really like, but I think Guess Who's Coming to Dinner killed the genre.

Jason. Movies.

Vin Deisel approaches Jean Claude and Steven Segal in terms of the purity of the awful.

YORG! I think it's best to avoid any encounter with Robert Benigni. Especially when he's allowed to speak.

UNREG! A chorus line of barf, thank you so much.

SENT! Ooooh, Lost Highway, bad very bad.

XXlll! I see your Zardoz and offer you Plan 9

Thanks to viral marketing...SERENITY: reopening soon in a theater near you.
Shiny Trees! Yavanna made Shiny Trees!

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Friday, November 11, 2005 8:59 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Storymark:

Hudson Hawk (One of my best friend's favorites, and always a topic of debate between us)

Oh would you like to swing on a star;
carry moonbeams home in a jar,
and be better off than you are,
or would you rather be a ....?

Mario Brothers-related Chrisisall

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Friday, November 11, 2005 9:02 AM

SPIKEANDJEZEBEL

Quote:
Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
Zoot wrote:

Quote:

There's only two good musicals in the world. "Singing in the Rain" and "The Blues Brothers"

And, of course, "Once More With Feeling"!!

"I have never understood why it should be necessary to become irrational in order to prove that you care. Or indeed, why it should be necessary to prove it at all." -Kerr Avon

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Friday, November 11, 2005 9:04 AM

STORYMARK

Quote:
Originally posted by liminalosity:
The Ring with SMG. Fortunately there can be only one.

Speaking of which, there was a Highlander movie I walked out on not that long ago.

I assume you mean The Grudge? And don't be so sure... a sequel is in the planning stage.

And that must have been Highlander: Endgame you walked out of. I'm a huge Highlander fan, and I was tempted to leave. Hell, even the director hated that one.

I have to disagree on the LOTR movies, though. Loved 'em all. Even better in their longer cuts.

And in my opinion, the best musical ever was South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut.

"Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."

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Friday, November 11, 2005 9:07 AM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

Quote:
Originally posted by liminalosity:
The Ring with SMG. Fortunately there can be only one.

I think you mean The Grudge

The Ring remake was great IMO... the Grudge was merely a collection of scary set pieces and nothing more. Yes it had its freaky moments, but it was pretty hollow

As for romantic comedies, I know they're predictible and the ones that arent are usually classed as more drama than comedy, but that being said I still do enjoy a fair few.

My favourite is While You Were Sleeping - both romantic and really funny. Same goes with How to lose a guy in 10 days

...

I will actually post my own "worst" list instead of nitpicking others... eventually

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Friday, November 11, 2005 9:17 AM

ORPHEUS

Sorry. Double post.

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Friday, November 11, 2005 9:17 AM

ORPHEUS

Underworld - I already hate vampire movies, but this one just freakin' took the cake. Just awful in every way imaginable. Boring, too dark to see anything, drab, and completely, horribly fake.

Shark Tale - An abomination among CG films.

The Nightmare Before Christmas - I might take a lot of flak for this, but that film bugs me to death. Just so annoying.

Fahrenheit 9/11 - Never mind the politics of the film. It's just boring as Hell. If you're going to make a documentary, at least try to make it interesting.

Wedding Crashers - Was funny for about 15 minutes. Then it wasn't for an hour and 45 minutes. WAS. NOT. FUNNY.

Fight Club - I can't say much else except that I seriously hate Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club should be "Don't watch Fight Club"

Great. Now I'm angry. Thanks, guys,

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Friday, November 11, 2005 9:26 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Storymark:
I assume you mean The Grudge? And don't be so sure... a sequel is in the planning stage.

And that must have been Highlander: Endgame you walked out of. I'm a huge Highlander fan, and I was tempted to leave. Hell, even the director hated that one.

And in my opinion, the best musical ever was South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut.

More...wait a minute, did I write 'The Ring' with SMG? Yes, absolutely, I meant 'The Grudge'. How can anyone question there will be more FF if there will be more of this? Yikes!

Yes, Endgame. Whaaaaa, so bad.

Bigger! Longer! Sex with Satan and Saddam! I didn't count that as a musical, yup, I own it. I always try to keep on hand plenty of anything that makes me laugh till tears happen.
I meant the garbage that comes to us by way of Broadway...the kind with titles theatrically shortened to one word...Cats, Chorusline, Lion King (wait for it), Phantom, Chicago, Les Mis...not movies (or Buffy eps) that have people (or drawings) singing in them.

Thanks to viral marketing...SERENITY: reopening soon in a theater near you.
Shiny Trees! Yavanna made Shiny Trees!

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Friday, November 11, 2005 9:32 AM

SAFEAT2ND

And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo
everyday you see quite a few
so you see it's all up to you,
you could be better than you are
you could be swinging on a star

Chrisall started it..

Oh and throw in as bad movies:

Envy,
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,
Starship Troopers 2,
Sideways,
Sin City..

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Friday, November 11, 2005 9:36 AM

STORYMARK

Quote:
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Really. I loved that one. My favorite Jim Carrey movie.

As a matter of fact, I forgot to add that to my list of movies people should see but aren't.

Thanks for reminding me.

"Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."

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Friday, November 11, 2005 10:19 AM

ROBNOTRICK

There are very few films that I think have no redeeming features, taking into account their intended audience and purpose. Having said that, here are some I think you should avoid at all costs.

Punch Drunk Love : Hands down the worst movie I have ever had the misfortune to sit through. Billed as an Art House Adam Sandler movie. No. Bad production values and removing any semblance of comedy (not that I find him funny anyway) does not an art house movie make. Only Phillip Seymour Hoffman comes out with a semblance of credit.

Batman and Robin : Simply awful. Although I felt bad, bacause Clooney was potentially a very good Batman and Bruce Wayne if it wasn't for the wretched script.

Portrait of a Lady : Wretched Jane Campion movie. Started looking at my watch 10 minutes in and checked it every five minutes thereafter.

The Piano : The absolutely shockingly bad Scottish accent from Anna Paquin aside (and OK, she was only 9), the movie was just dull, dull, dull.

Scooby-Doo : Just awful. And sacreligious! The monsters ARE NOT REAL!!!! Shaggy was quite good though, and making Scrappy-Doo the villain was quite a funny concept. I'm sure the sequel is worse.

Wing Commander : Great games. Appalling movie. Boring and soulless.

There are plenty of overrated movies that I wouldn't necessarily say are bad, LOTR : Return of the King is not as good as people say, but I still like it. The other two are, I think largely better films. The extended editions are just excellent.

Spinal Tap was ehhh. Fine, but not the comic masterpiece everyone told me.

Gone With the Wind : Just don't get it. Long and dull. Son't care what happens to the characters, so I stopped watching at the midway point.

Sure I could think of others if I bothered.

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Friday, November 11, 2005 11:22 AM

RIVERNOT

Quote:
Originally posted by Juko:
Romeo and Juliet - actually, every Leo DiCaprio movie prior to Gangs of New York and excluding What's Eating Gilbert Grape.

Gotta agree with that with the exception of The Aviator, which I'd avoided specifically because DiCaprio was in it. Good movie.

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Friday, November 11, 2005 11:28 AM

JAYTEE

I loved Forrest Gump. Nuff said on that.
Van Helsing was pure dog vomit.
Have to agree with the person who posted ANY Steven Seagal movie.
Star Wars 1 and 2 bit. Haven't bothered seeing 3 yet and probably won't.
Having been a Tolkien fan for years I was dubious but then once I saw the films was impressed that an epic trilogy that detailed could be brought to the screen and still have merit. I enjoyed all 3 segments.
I saw Battlefield Earth mentioned twice already in this thread and have to agree on that. A movie made from a book written by the father of Scientology and starring a famous scientologist probably only appeals to fellow scientologist or people with similar mental illnesses and others that actually like REALLY BAD SCI-FI.
I'm just relieved that I haven't seen my all time favorite movie mentioned in this thread, Casablanca although I'm sure somebody will probably add it now that I've admitted it's my fav. Either version of Dune. Having read the book long before there was a movie I was sooo disappointed in the first one and the second version only reinforced my disappointment. Kyle Maclachlan is one of the worst actors I've ever seen but it seems the whole cast was competing with him for the position of lamest acting job.
One last addition for worst movies, anything starring Molly Ringwald. Worst SCI FI ever? Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone starring Peter Strauss and Molly Ringwald.

Jaytee

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Friday, November 11, 2005 11:34 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by JayTee:

Worst SCI FI ever? Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone starring Peter Strauss and Molly Ringwald.

As Dr. Smith would say," How DAAAARE you?!"
Spacehunter is one of the greatest MST3K's yet to be done!

Chrisisall

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Friday, November 11, 2005 12:03 PM

RIVERNOT

Boy, is this my favorite question and I wouldn't be able to stop with 10. However, I'll keep it to films I've seen recently.

The Ninth Gate -- I hate movies that have a cheat ending. This one was really good until the end and then all I could say was "What?!!" Two days later I was still saying "What?!!" Even Jonny Depp couldn't change my mind on this one.

Ghost World -- Another cheat end without the rest of the movie being good.

The Upside Of Anger -- Billed as a comedy. Ha! There, that was more laughing than I did for the entire film.

Lost in Translation -- Not funny, or even interesting. Sorry. Maybe it's because I lived in Japan and know there was more they could have done with the culture differences. Or, more likely, it was just Bill Murray...again.

Kill Bill -- Pretty much killing any urge to watch anything by Quentin Tarantino again.

Anchorman

Bewitched -- Hmm, maybe it's just Will Ferrell I don't like?

Melinda & Melinda -- Not even Chiwetel Ejiofor could save this one.

Mickey -- Harry Connick on the run from the IRS keeps his ace-pitcher son in little league when he moves (duh, not keeping a low profile). Picked it up because there was nothing else out. I couldn't even finish this one, which is really saying something.

Longest Yard -- the new one.

My Best Friend's Wedding -- Okay, I've not seen that one since it was first released, but that's probably my #1 worst ever movie pick.

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Friday, November 11, 2005 12:22 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by JayTee:
I saw Battlefield Earth mentioned twice already in this thread and have to agree on that. A movie made from a book written by the father of Scientology and starring a famous scientologist probably only appeals to fellow scientologist or people with similar mental illnesses and others that actually like REALLY BAD SCI-FI.

Casablanca although I'm sure somebody will probably add it now that I've admitted it's my fav.

Either version of Dune.

Bwahh hhhaaaa haa, do you have a Battlefield Earth puppet show as well? Or BE performance art piece?

There must be someone somewhere who doesn't like Casablanca, but hopefully they won't show up here.

The first Dune? I thought if I had to hear "Dune. Arakis. Desert Planet" one more time I would go nuts. And that was only 4 minutes into the movie. Maybe that's what's wrong with me now. Hey, that would explain a lot.....anyway, I don't know how a movie manages to have the exposition exceeding the sum of the parts, but Dune somehow managed.

The second Dune? I liked the worms much better, and wasted a lot of time to find out that much.

*edit* to remove link to thread with staked zombie liberals

Thanks to viral marketing...SERENITY: reopening soon in a theater near you.
Shiny Trees! Yavanna made Shiny Trees!

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Friday, November 11, 2005 1:15 PM

NEEDY

The road to Hel is paved with good intentions

I was in the middle of posting my message when I accidentally closed it. Talk about infuriating!

So to save me from writing out the whole thing again, here is a brief list of some of my biggest dislikes/disappointments (hate is such a strong word)

Batman and Robin - how could this not be mentioned?

Sin City - I know a lot like it but, visuals aside, for me this was nothing more than a movie catering to the lowest denominator, mindless sadistic violence. What are we, cavemen? I'm seriously questioning the mind of Frank Miller right now

Creep - I was expecting a simple movie with some shocks, I got another sickly violent movie which should be enough proof that those responsible for the movie need help

Elektra - Quite simply, disappointing

Underworld - slick and stylish, but nothing more

The Grudge - it had its creepy moments, but unlike the Ring remake, this was more set pieces than story

Kill Bill - I thought it looked awful from the trailers but for some reason did watch the first part and thought it wasn't that bad, if the second part delivered the goods it could have been shiny. After watching the second one I was dumbfounded as to why this movie was split into two parts. There wasn't that much to it - why wasnt it edited to one movie? If QT really wanted a 3hr+ movie why not release an extended edition on dvd instead of making people pay twice so that they can see the full movie?

There are probably a lot more but so far the majority of films I have recalled thanks to them being mentioned in other peoples posts. I'll try to add more later

Needy. Male Companion a.k.a. First Boy Whore of Destiny

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Friday, November 11, 2005 1:17 PM

JAYTEE

Well, the first Dune was a full length movie and when completed was 4 hours in length. A lot was cut from it for the theatrical release. Mostly what I remember from the movie was that the acting seemed stiff and forced. In fairness though I have to say just taking a book as rich and imaginative as Frank Herbert's Dune and transposing it to the screen for a 2 hour movie was attempting the impossible and should have been made into a mini-series or trilogy of movies instead. I'd forgotten that the SCI-FI version of Dune was a mini-series. I thought the acting was a bit better and it followed the book a bit more closely but still couldn't hold up to the book but then my expectations might have been too high.

Jaytee

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Friday, November 11, 2005 1:43 PM

CLJOHNSTON108

Quote:
Originally posted by yorg:
To those who said Lord of the Rings.

Are you seriously telling me that you can't think of 10 movies worse than the LOTR movies? None?

Kinda how I feel about Matrix Reloaded & Revolutions.
Weren't as good as they could've been, but I've seen FAR worse!
'Course, I saw all three from the best seat at Grauman's Chinese theatre, so the sequels made somewhat more of an impact on me than those of you who waited for the DVD.

Still, when I look at all the behind-the-scenes featurettes for Reloaded & Revolutions, it kinda breaks my heart to see all that work they put into them go almost entirely unappreciated by the majority of viewers.

But then, I'm apparently the only one on the planet who walked out of "The 40 year Old Virgin" within the first 20 minutes, so what do I know?

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Friday, November 11, 2005 2:01 PM

TIGER

Quote:
Originally posted by yorg:
Are you seriously telling me that you can't think of 10 movies worse than the LOTR movies? None?

Not that I actually saw, no. I don't generally go see a movie that I can tell will suck. Even if I had seen more of the shitty movies mentioned here, LOTR would still make my list just for the sheer fact that it gets so much hype, and even I was sucked in by it enough to get me to see it.

Quote:
I think that you are hating LOTR simply because it's so popular and are trying to set yourself apart and be "cool" by not liking it.

It's far more likely YOU'RE just trying to be cool by saying you like such a craptastic movie because it's popular so you can fit in.

Seriously, LOTR is on par with the Star Wars prequels for hype, poor writing and disappointment. Hell, if I didn't know better I'd say they came from the same guy.

Come to think of it, I've never seen Lucas and Jackson in the same room together.

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Friday, November 11, 2005 2:43 PM