SPOILERS: What was the absolute funniest line in Serenity? by ItsaWash

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

SPOILERS: What was the absolute funniest line in Serenity?

POSTED BY: ITSAWASH
UPDATED: Tuesday, November 15, 2005 12:43
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 16203
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Sunday, November 13, 2005 6:11 PM

ITSAWASH

For me, it's gotta be one of Jayne's, but then, I'm a Jayne-addict. Tell me your fave, if you could only choose ONE.

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 6:21 PM

KUANGAORUI

"You know what would be good right about now?! SOME GRENADES!!!" thats prolly not the best but its the only one that i remember

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 6:22 PM

LOUGOJIRA

I know I'm not going to quote it right, so I'll paraphrase:

Mal: "I think you're more than just a weapon. If I'm wrong about that, you can just shoot me now..."
River: *cocks the hammer*
Mal: "OR we could talk about it a little more...!"

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 6:25 PM

KUANGAORUI

Kaylee Frye: Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Oh, God! I can't *know* that!
Jayne Cobb: I could stand to hear a little more.

thats my fav

(:edit: i copyed this from IMDB.com)

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 6:32 PM

BELACGOD

So many to choose from...

(Certainly misquoting here)

"You were listening? Did you see us fight? Yep, it's a trap."

"Hey, I might."

"Well, you CAN'T!"

"Sir, we found seven."

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 6:41 PM

ORPHEUS

Mal: Now if anything happens to me, you take this ship...and you come and you rescue me!
Zoe: What? And risk my ship?
Mal: I mean it, it's cold out there!

That one was always my favorite.

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 6:43 PM

KRYTEN3

"Well, that makes you kind of a tease, don't it?"

I dunno why no one else laughs at this, I find it soooo funny.

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 6:46 PM

MUSTHAVEMOREFIREFLY

I like the one in my signature.

======================

"Today we were kidnapped by hill-folk, never to be seen again and it was the best day ever."

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 6:47 PM

VISITINGMYINTENTIONS

"Oh God oh god we're all gonna die?"
"...some brief turbulence, then explode."
"...well...you can't!"
"..or we could talk about it a little more."

The funniest bits, it my opinion, aren't lines at all. There was the look River gives Zoe during the vault robbery scene. That scene is officially my favourite scene in the whole movie. There's also River peaking in on Simon and Kaylee... some much-needed humor for the end of the movie. And of course:

"What was that?"

"it has some sweet character deaths -- I mean moments!" - Joss Whedon

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 7:07 PM

LOUGOJIRA

Mal: "Yes, I read a poem. Try not to faint..."

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 7:10 PM

ASHE

Quote:
Originally posted by KuangAorui:
Kaylee Frye: Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Oh, God! I can't *know* that!
Jayne Cobb: I could stand to hear a little more.

thats my fav

(:edit: i copyed this from IMDB.com)

That was my favorite too and then there was also:
"My muscular buttocks!" - Jayne

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 7:22 PM

REGINAROADIE

There are three for me.

"To Hell with this, I wanna live!!"

"Is HE OK???"

"And don't go on anything with a Capison 38 engine, they fall right out of the sky."

And my fave bit of dialogue.

"Doctor. We should be landing pretty soon. Nothing to be worried about."
"I'm not worried."
"There's no shame in being afraid."
"This isn't fear. This is anger."
"Well, it's...kinda hard to tell with a face like yours."
"Well I imagine if it were fear, my eyes would be wider."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"YES!!!I'm a man posessed by many demons....Polite demons that would open the door for a lady carrying too many parcels...BUT DEMONS NONETHELESS!!!! Yes. I have walked along the path of evil many times, it's a twisting, curving path that..actually leads to a charming plot garden, BUT BEYOND THAT EVIL!!!"

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 7:26 PM

KELLAINA

There's just so many... but here's one that hasn't been mentioned yet (quoted inaccurately from memory, of course):

Kaylee: "You mean to say... like sex?!"
Simon: "I mean to say"
Kaylee: "Hell with this; I'm gonna live!"

If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. -"Angel"

Browncoat? Canadian? Join us:
http://movies.groups.yahoo.com/group/canadianbrowncoats/

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 7:34 PM

KRYTEN3

Quote:
Originally posted by VisitingMyIntentions:

The funniest bits, it my opinion, aren't lines at all.

Agreed. Mal's screwdriver is the absolute funniest part of the movie for me.

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 7:41 PM

SUPERDUCKYWHO

My favorite is the part at the beginning:

Mal: Attention, this is the captain speaking. We're experienceing a problem with our enntry sequence, so we may come across a bit of turbulance and then... explode.
Jayne: I don't wanna 'splode!

I also loved these:
Mal: Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket.

Jayne: Hell, I’ll kill a man in a fair fight… or if I think he’s gonna start a fair fight… or if he bothers me, or if there’s a woman, or if I’m gettin paid… mostly only when I’m gettin paid. But eating people alive, when does that get fun?

Also... does anyone else find it funny that the safe word is Russian for “That’s for chickens to laugh at?" Because... I know I did!

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 7:47 PM

KELLYOFLUTHIEN

I loved:

Mal "You wanna run this ship?"

Jayne: "Yes!"

Mal: [caught off guard]"Well, you can't!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love my Captain

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 7:49 PM

GAMESTALKER25

Mr. Universes Lov-Bot

or

Mal: You want to be in charge of this ship?

Jayne Yes!

Mal: Well...you cant!

But still, there are just so many to choose from...

You can't take the sky from me...

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 7:50 PM

SERENYTY

Quote:
Originally posted by Kellaina:
There's just so many... but here's one that hasn't been mentioned yet (quoted inaccurately from memory, of course):

Kaylee: "You mean to say... like sex?!"
Simon: "I mean to say"
Kaylee: "Hell with this; I'm gonna live!"

oh, definately! That's my favorite.

~A message from Serenyty~

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 7:54 PM

KELLYOFLUTHIEN

Or:

Kaylee: Been more'n a year since I had anything twixt my nethers didn't run on batteries!

Mal: My GOD, do I not want to hear that!

Jayne: I could stand to hear a little more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love my Captain

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 7:58 PM

ITSAWASH

You guys ROCK! Those are all great lines, and I'm impressed with the recall abilities in your collective cranial vaults.

I know I'm off-topic here, but wanted to thank Kelly for the cool new siggie pic she gave me. Here's a link to her newest firefly icons: If you use one, be sure to credit KellyofLuthien.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/hobbitseeker/38439.html

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 8:40 PM

LIMINALOSITY

Quote:
Originally posted by SuperDuckyWho:

Also... does anyone else find it funny that the safe word is Russian for “That’s for chickens to laugh at?" Because... I know I did!

This is the first time I've heard this, and I've been wondering what it meant.
Right now, this moment, my favorite is Jayne's second line...

Well, what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar.

I love his delivery, and the whole line is just so turned inside out.
Tomorrow I'd have a different answer.

Thanks to viral marketing...SERENITY: reopening soon in a theater near you.
Shiny Trees! Yavanna made Shiny Trees!

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 9:17 PM

PHOENIXSHIP

Nope, the funniest part is when Mal is explaining to the vault guard about where and why he should let himself be shot. He's so matter-of-fact and cordial with his shooting victim.

"Why're you arguin' what's already been decided?"
Mal to Jayne, "Jaynestown"

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 11:13 PM

FREDIKAYLLOW

there is just WWWAAAAYYYYY too many. i can't rememver them all. but off the top of my head i must say-
-The grenade exchange (all of them in the movie)
-"Did you see us fight? Trap."
-"Dear Buddha: please send me a pony, a plastic rocket, and one of those little..."

No Power In The 'Verse Can Stop Me

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 11:25 PM

FRAY101

Quote:
Originally posted by SuperDuckyWho:

I also loved these:
Mal: Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket.

I've got to agree with this one - it's not just the line itself of course, but that outfit and in particular those swinging tassles on the headscarf!

_____________________________________

www.cafepress.com/destinything2
www.cafepress.com/fireflyclass

www.destinything.com

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Monday, November 14, 2005 2:12 AM

DISKA

Quote:
Originally posted by Phoenixship:
Nope, the funniest part is when Mal is explaining to the vault guard about where and why he should let himself be shot. He's so matter-of-fact and cordial with his shooting victim.

"Why're you arguin' what's already been decided?"
Mal to Jayne, "Jaynestown"

thats my favourite bit too. i also lkike it when mal says hes coming down into the vault and the guard asks for id and then weakly says 'ok' after jayne fires a round on his gun

also
'am i talking ot miranda now? and then river's face at simon.
its whats not said that punctuates the ends of sentences that makes serenity funny

"Dear diary: Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."

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Monday, November 14, 2005 11:54 AM

LSDANDELION

The dialogue between Mal and Jayne where Jayne is trying to trade his super shotgun for Saffron:

MAL
The explosive diarrhea of an elephant, are you offering me a trade?

JAYNE
A trade? Hell, it's theft! This is the best gun made by man, and its got extreme sentimental value! It's miles more worthy'n what you got.

MAL
"What I got" - she has a name.

JAYNE
So does this! I call it Vera.

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Monday, November 14, 2005 12:05 PM

MAL4PREZ

Maybe not the BEST, but ...

Mal (real whinylike): hard to get to

Ask Dr. Science ... he knows more than you do.

"I have a Master's degree ... in science!"

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Monday, November 14, 2005 12:14 PM

VISITINGMYINTENTIONS

Quote:
Originally posted by SuperDuckyWho:
Also... does anyone else find it funny that the safe word is Russian for “That’s for chickens to laugh at?" Because... I know I did!

Really? I did not know that, with me not speaking Russian and all. That's intensely amusing. "River! Bad girl! That's for chickens to laugh at!"

Also, I couldn't help *snrk*ing every time it's called a "safe word". I see so much bad CSI being born it's not even funny.

"it has some sweet character deaths -- I mean moments!" - Joss Whedon

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Monday, November 14, 2005 12:35 PM

STATIC

Two in particular...both during the cool flight scene during the Alliance/Reaver battle...

"No"
"Yes"
"NO!"
"YES!"

and...

"It's okay...I'm...I'm a leaf on the wind."
"WHAT? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???"

http://burstsofstatic.blogspot.com

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Monday, November 14, 2005 12:41 PM

UNREGISTEREDCOMPANION

LOVE the Cpt. No-pants icon...but where were we...uhhhh...

Oh yeah. The look River gives Simon after he ask "Am I speaking to Miranda now?" Priceless.

~~~~~
"Funny and sexy. You have no idea. And you never will."

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Monday, November 14, 2005 12:47 PM

Zoe: Do you really think any of us are gonna get through this?
Jayne: Well... I might.

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Monday, November 14, 2005 1:06 PM

DAISYCUTTER

"Target the Reaver ships, AND WILL SOMEBODY START SHOOTING SOMETHING!!!"

-------------------------------------
Q: Why don't we just raise the defensive shields?
A: A superb suggestion with just two major drawbacks. One, we don't have any defensive shields. And two, we don't have any defensive shields. Technically speaking thats only one flaw, but it was such a big one I thought I mention it twice.

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Monday, November 14, 2005 1:20 PM

SUICIDALDUCKLING

I cried like a baby...a hungry angry baby.

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Monday, November 14, 2005 1:56 PM

SIMONWHO

Not mentioned yet is Jayne's:

"You shoot me if they take me Mal!"
Bang! and a miss.
"Well don't shoot me before!"

It seemed clearer in the rough cut strangely, more emphasis. Come to think of it, a lot of lines did.

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Monday, November 14, 2005 2:22 PM

CANDRA

No one has mentioned River's great line after they've crashed the new mule and all almost died:

Simon: Are you all right?

River: I swallowed a bug.

It's so River-esque.

Candra

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Monday, November 14, 2005 2:34 PM

GUNRUNNER

My favorite was when Zoe asks Jayne how much ammo he has left:

"Three full mags, and my swinging cod!"

EV Nova Firefly mod Message Board:
http://s4.invisionfree.com/GunRunner/index.php?act=idx

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Monday, November 14, 2005 3:32 PM

JOSSISAGOD

Mine's gotta be the exchange between Simon and River after the Reaver chase in the begining of the movie, same as CANDRA.

Simon: Are you alright?

River: I swallowed a bug.

that exchange had me laughing my butt off for two minutes after!

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Monday, November 14, 2005 4:13 PM

JLRENEGADE

Operative (To Malcolm):
You seem like a decent man, so am I...
Inara (To operative):
Try spending an hour with him...

Malcolm (To crew):
It's a trap!
Hoban (To Mal, as if he were everyone):
Did it ever occur to you that someone may want to see you again?
Malcolm:
You were watching... yes?
*Crew nods*
Did you see us fight?
*crew nods no*
Traaaap!

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Monday, November 14, 2005 4:41 PM

LIZARDMAN

Mal: You want to run this ship?

Jayne: Yes!

Mal: Well... uh... you can't!

Awesome line. I love gritty humour.

[img]

[/img]

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Monday, November 14, 2005 5:14 PM

FIGHTON4GOD

Mal: I don't plan on any shooting taking place during this job.
Jayne: Well, what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar.

Kaylee: No one's saying that.
Wash: No one but Jayne is saying that.

---

You Can't Stop the Signal.

"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."

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Monday, November 14, 2005 5:30 PM

PHOENIXFEATHER

I can't quote it exactly but it's when Simon is talking to River before they take her on the robbery...

Simon: Now if there's any trouble you just drop to the floor or run away...It's ok for you to leave them to die.

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Monday, November 14, 2005 6:01 PM

DERANGEDMILK

I thought some of the best lines were ones most people missed such as
Jayne: Three mags and my swingin' cod.

or in the beginning as Mal walks away from the bridge,
Mal: Just get us on the ground.
Wash: That part 'll happen pretty definitely

or,
Jayne: I think its Noble as a grape the way you look to your sister...

-e

"Storms getting worse."
"We'll pass through it soon enough."

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Monday, November 14, 2005 10:23 PM

FALLENANGEL

I thought the best lines from the movie which got a lot of laughs from the ppl in the theater I saw it in:
In the begining the whole password thing. Lots of laughs

Simon: Are you ok?

River: I swallowed a bug.

Wash: Can we start with the part where Jayne gets beat up by a 90 pound girl cause I don't think that's gonna get old.

(After breaking into the vault with hardly any money.)

Zoe: At last, we can give up this life of crime.

Simon explaining the safe word.

Jayne: Well don't say it!
Zoe: It only works on her, Jayne.
Jayne:Oh... Well, now I know that.

and of course who could forgot this line?

Kaylee: Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!

and the Hell with this line! Mucho, mucho laughs!! The list goes on and on...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."

-Wash.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 12:20 AM

REGRESSION

Honestly, I don't believe that we forgot Mal's hi-larious line:

While I'm gone, Zoe is in command. Now, if I'm not back in an hour, I want you to take the ship... and you come and you rescue me!

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 12:36 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST

Zoe: "You don't actually think any of us are gone live through this do you?"

Jayne: "....I might"

:)

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 1:53 AM

SHINYTALENT

My favorite line- the one that even when I'm in the worst mood imaginable all someone has to say, all I have to think of is Simon saying to Jayne

"You're like a trained ape, with out the training"

It brings a big

everytime

The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 2:40 AM

FLETCH2

"Frankly I'm surprised you got as far as you did.....in that outfit"

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 4:52 AM

MAKAM

One line that always gets me chuckling...

Mal: Now doctor, i'm taking your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, i swear, im gonna get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears.

Or...

Mal: Buddha, please bring me a pony, a plastic rocket,and one of those...

Then same scene...

The operative: captain Reynolds, you cant anger me.
Inara: Please, spend an hour with him.

And again...

The operative: I'm not threatening you, im unarmed...
Mal: Good.
*bang*

hee hee hee.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 5:02 AM

COSMICFUGITIVE

Quote:
Daisycutter wrote:

"Target the Reaver ships, AND WILL SOMEBODY START SHOOTING SOMETHING!!!"

Yup. Love that moment too. Great line! The look of panic in the Operative's face - from a man that keeps a mostly calm exterior throughout the film - is classic!

There are too many great lines in the movie... It's hard to pick one.

Although, I love facial expressions too. Especially River's frown. (When she gestures to Zoe during the heist and when Simon asks if he's talking to Miranda.

)

- Cos.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 6:10 AM

DONCOAT

My journal on RottenTomatoes has a list of the laugh lines in Serenity, compiled back in mid-October.

I think I got nearly all of the ones listed here, and maybe a few others. After seeing the movie (quite a few) more times since then, I might change some of the ordering -- one or two of the "big laughs" section would be demoted, and some of the "lesser laughs" promoted.

Here's a link to the list:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/journal_view.php?s=&journalid=24826
9&action=view&view=public#252648

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ain't about you, Jayne. It's about what they need.

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