Hunt for the Secret Hidey Place of Nice Boys by mai

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Hunt for the Secret Hidey Place of Nice Boys

POSTED BY: MAI
UPDATED: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 07:49
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 46173
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Friday, October 28, 2005 3:36 PM

LIGHTMEDARK

/me leaves his cave in search of a tree

---
inch towards daylight

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Friday, October 28, 2005 6:30 PM

BOVINITY

Hell, I have no idea if I'm a nice guy or otherwise, but after reading all the above stuff I feel compelled to post. Mostly for no reason at all, but partly to say that if you're a woman, and you like any of the things I like, we're meant to be something or other.

Here’s some stuff that I like:

I like Hubcaps
I like Laundry
I like Waffles
I like Ant farms
I like recess, picnics and eating’ pork & beans
I like tin foil and bow ties
I like cardboard and moon pies
When I’m soaking’ in the bathtub, I like shooting’ submarines! Shooting’ submarines!
I like Snoopy
I like Droopy
I like Charles Nelson Riley
I like Hee-Haw, Fat Albert, and I also like corn
I like Corn Flakes, corndogs
I like cornbread, and corn starch
I like the band Korn, and popcorn.
I like all kinds of corn! All kinds of corn!

I like egg rolls and crab rolls, crab legs, but not frog legs
I like duck sauce with duct tape and jumping’ on the bed
I like Popeye, pip eye, Popeye, poopeye, peepye
Olive Oil and Bluto and falling’ on my head. Falling’ on my head.
I like throwing’ biscotti at Bigfoot and Yeti.
I like Veronica and Betty.
Don’t call me Jughead.
I like gumballs and rum balls
I like cheese balls and cheesecake
I like pineapple upside-down cake
Why is it upside-down? Why is it upside-down?

(fyi - I stole all of the above from a certain weird cartoon)

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Friday, October 28, 2005 7:03 PM

JADEHAND

Quote:
Originally posted by safeat2nd:
I would imagine some are easy to kill than others.

Like...I don't know...maybe the ones than need a woman to cook for them, clean for them, and to do their laundry, while they sit around, scratch their bellies and watch sports on TV. They are soft indeed.

I would rather play sports than watch them, and my wife is not my trophy nor my slave.

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

Huh. Well, I could care less about the cooking thing. I say we each cook one or two nights a week, and eat out the other nights. It's why they make resturants. Could split the other stuff too. Sports? "I'm not sly." don't care for 'em.

Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live
"Dreaming the dream that only the sleepless know."

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Friday, October 28, 2005 7:53 PM

ORPHEUS

You know, reading this thread made me realize just what a jerk a couple years of college has turned me into. I used to be one of those nice guys. He's probably still deep down inside somewhere. But I very much doubt that he'll be showing his face any time soon.

Talk about a revelation I didn't need right before going to bed...

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Friday, October 28, 2005 9:13 PM

PIFFLE101

I give up on men.

Yah, piffle..I know Im young, I dont completley give up. Ill just let them find me, so I dont have to go outta my way.

Yeah..That sounds good.

-------------------------------------------------
Because Dancers are tough,mean...Chicas!! -Summer Glau
----
-I think they captured his essence... -Wash
-Look sorta angry, dont he? -Kaylee
-Kinda what I meant. -Wash
---
-Everywhere I go..His eyes keep following me... -Kaylee
-----
-How bout we get away from this eerie ass piece of work and get on with our increasingly eerie ass day? How's that?!

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Monday, October 31, 2005 11:19 AM

BLACKEYEDGIRL

Here, Here Piffle!

Anyone have any luck this weekend? I know it's harder to find them when they are in discguise, but maybe just maybe a few fled the island/cave for candy?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
http://pluraplofapocalypse.blogspot.com
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Inara: "Do aliens live among us?"
Kaylee: "Yes. One of them's a doctor."

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Monday, October 31, 2005 12:23 PM

LFO

Hey BlackEyedGirl, you're blog link is dead :(

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Monday, October 31, 2005 2:01 PM

QUEENOFTHENORTH

Yup, I'm entirely to the point where I just sit and let them come to me now. I've always been lazy :). Oh well maybe a nice one will take the bait soon.

~~~~
I give to you the Seeker of Serenity, the Valkyrie Warrior, the Gourmet Cook and the Truth Scoper.

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Monday, October 31, 2005 3:09 PM

DELUSIONALRAYNE

hmmmm....this thread is truly interesting. Here's my 2 cents on this issue.

I agree that chemistry is really what is going to matter, but I have seen chemistry built over time, thus why friends before lovers works. I'm a hopeless romantic, hopeless meaning that as many times as I may be squashed, I can't give up the hope that I'll find that girl who is an equal.

Elaborating on equal, I don't mean someone who can do what I can do, that would be boring, I can already do it, but someone who wants to learn more of me and I want to learn more of her, that shares some qualities. For instance, I get all hot and bothered when I find a woman who can play pool as well as I can, but I don't care if she can rebuild an engine as fast as I can, it's just nice to share a couple things.

So are there many equal women out there (I will hit the thread topic in a sec, promise) for the nice guys? Seems like (please remember I said seems) most women are interested in playing the field. Now I'm 26, so one would think women my age would at least be interested in settling down for at least a little bit with someone to see what it would be like. Alas, pretty sure that's not true. So where are all the nice guys at? Well, if you group them together like that, they're all confused as hell by the women they want and hiding in the open. Seems like women misinterpret the confusion for non-desire (I'm sure this happens the other way around too) and it becomes "just friends" for a good deal of time.

Personally, I agree with BEG (I'm in the Navy so I'm all about acronyms) about being kind of bitter. I haven't found a woman to be close to in about two years now, not seeking sympathy, but just saying that it's old to play the typical games that guys and girls play. I'll hang out with women and throw out tidbits of things to see if I catch their interest, and will explore who they are. The day I find one who returns the interest to try and learn more, well, maybe that will be the right one.

So if there are some nice guys out there, don't just be available, show some interest in who they are and what they do, it will return to you quickly. Same thing for the guys looking for the nice girls, don't be shy, just talk to her and roll with the punches as and if they come.

Great....that 2 cents put me in debt....

Mal: Kaylee, what the hell's going on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?

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Monday, October 31, 2005 4:43 PM

POTHER

Someone further up in this thread had the right idea when they commented on finding nice guys at a game-playing gathering... go look for the nice guys at events/activities/places where you think nice guys that you would like to meet would go.

The types of guys you meet will change with the types of events/activities/places you pick.

So if you pick the bar on a particular night, those are the guys you get. Bible study on a different night, I'm sure you meet different guys. How about the laundrymat(sp?). (Perhaps that's too random!) Starbucks? Mountain biking? WWE matches? Autoparts store? Chess tournament? Community-college computer classes? Livestock shows? Oh and bookstores! How could I forget bookstores!

You will find some nice guys (most) everywhere!

+++++++++++++

Now what I want to know, being one of the "nice guys", is...

...how do we tell which of you women are NOT MENTAL CASES!?! My friends and I in college couldn't figure this out, and I still don't know.

(Disclaimer: Yes "mental cases" is an old term, may be politically incorrect, and sounds downright insensitive, but it accurately summarizes the behavior witnessed by many "nice guys" of the women around them.)

Alas, back to left field.

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Monday, October 31, 2005 5:11 PM

QUEENOFTHENORTH

It's simple -- all us girls on this FF site are very intelligent, nice girls with a good sense of humor. LOL. And totally modest.

I give to you the Seeker of Serenity, the Valkyrie Warrior, the Gourmet Cook and the Truth Scoper.

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Monday, October 31, 2005 9:39 PM

MAI

Quote:
So are there many equal women out there (I will hit the thread topic in a sec, promise) for the nice guys?

*Builds large neon sign pointing toward Serenitree* (and sometimes we even venture out into reality so be on the look out).
IRL? We're probably at most of the same places that the nice guys are (i.e bookstores) were just too shy or too jaded to come out of hiding.

Quote:
It's simple -- all us girls on this FF site are very intelligent, nice girls with a good sense of humor.

What she said.

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Monday, October 31, 2005 9:46 PM

AMYGDALA

Quote:
Originally posted by Pother:

...how do we tell which of you women are NOT MENTAL CASES!?!

In my experience a girl referred to as a 'mental case' is often someone who has had a justifiable emotional response to being mistreated by some guy. The classification of 'mental case' seems to make this guy feel less guilty about his behaviour. I'm sure present company is excluded, of course. Girls, beware the guy whose ex-girlfriends are all 'psychos'.

FFF.net dating service: brilliant. Bags first dibs on all the policemen, firemen and pilots in my geographical area. Why them? Well, uniforms (of course, and yes, shallow), and they just seem like decent people, albeit with dangerous occupations, neutralising some of that niceness, making it seem less cloying.

----
"She was naked, and all ... articulate."

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Monday, October 31, 2005 10:13 PM

AMYGDALA

Another thought:

This 'nice' and otherwise is really all subjective, isn't it? I don't think many people go into a relationship planning to be the bad guy. I'm nice to the point of pushover, and was absolutely astounded to find out one of my high-school boyfriends referred to me as 'the bitch' years later. Likewise, I referred to one of my ex's as 'the antichrist' when, looking back, he was just another guy with his own issues to deal with.

Think of it this way: in the relationships you've had - the guys you broke up with you probably refer to as 'nice guys', but those who broke up with you are more likely to be remembered as the bastards. We're all just people, and in our minds we're the heroes of our own tales.

Sure, some people do go into relationships prepared to manipulate, play games and ultimately 'win', but you wonder what happened to them before to make that so important to them...

----
"She was naked, and all ... articulate."

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Tuesday, November 1, 2005 6:05 AM

DELUSIONALRAYNE

Quote:
Originally posted by mai:
*Builds large neon sign pointing toward Serenitree*

Hehe, alright, for the sake of sounding like an uneducated fool (I've been called worse), what is the Serenitree? I've scrolled through this thread and though I am still learning more about this site, I haven't really figured this out yet. So, with my newbie hat on again, I pose the question, What in the world is the Serenitree, cause apparently the girl of my dreams is somewhere near there and I'd much rather be headed there than not. Thanks, and we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Mal: Kaylee, what the hell's going on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?

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Tuesday, November 1, 2005 6:41 AM

CALLMESERENITY

The SereniTREE is a Collective Storytelling Thread. (No dice, TRM!)
It's crazy, it's been going on for a year and a half at least. There are some 30 odd threads in its history.

But you don't really need to know about that. You just need to find the most recent one (if it's not on the homepage, search under Talk Story, it'll be at the top) and read TheRealMe's lovely Guide to the TREE near the top. And then, if you feel so inclined, jump on in.

Having been on the TREE for some many months now, and having met many of the TREEers, I can honestly say that they are some of the shiniest people in the 'verse and I am proud to count myself amongst them.

And to Pother: I have a couple dear friends who were actual mental patients and who are now quite happily married and living normal productive lives. Please be a little more careful of what you say. Unless you like the taste of feet.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Tuesday, November 1, 2005 9:37 AM

DELUSIONALRAYNE

Now that was a graceful reply, and I respect grace, thanks. Hope all goes well with you today.

Mal: Kaylee, what the hell's going on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?

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Tuesday, November 1, 2005 10:04 AM

CALLMESERENITY

Thank you!

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Tuesday, November 1, 2005 10:11 AM

LIGHTMEDARK

Here's a journal entry I wrote several years ago that I believe points to where my "niceness" has come from (wow, looking back at my journal, I do my best writing when I'm upset. Not so much on this one, but my other entries are full of absolutely stunning imagery)(edited for language, haha):

Quote:
< 1950.06.16.2003 >

I’m woefully inadequate. Out of my league. Really, I need to go back to being 16 or 17 so I can figure this * out. I am found wanting for experience. What is for me something incredibly significant is to others but a passing thought. Does she hurt, too? All signs point to no…thank you, captain obvious.

Actually I need to go back to being 6 or 7, before my life bore the scratch, or at least before I became aware of its horrible reality. I need a little altering of perception. You see, girls have been of great interest to me from a very young age. I was 7 when I first asked a girl to go with me. From my perspective back then, it seemed obvious: women want someone soft, someone that will listen with interest to all they have to share. Someone who doesn’t care only about sex, or even care about it much at all. From where I sat back then, sex was for guys. Women only did it because of the love they bore for their partner. Naïve, as everyone is at that age, I believed I could make myself into something that women would want, and hence I am who I am today.

Sux2b me, you might say. Girls, it seems, want a guy. They want someone that’s a little rough. They want to be wanted in a very physical way. In short, they don’t want me. Well, sometimes they think they do, but then, inevitably, they realize their folly. “They come by the millions, but I turn them away one by one…” My senior quote would lead most to think that I turn them away by choice, when in truth the person I chose to be at 6 has them running.

But that’s not fair…I can’t blame an innocent child. Looking back I can see that in almost every case I turn them away at about the same point in the relationship, the part where they hand me the ball and say “your move.” It’s at this point that I become crippled with desire. I drop that mother*ing ball every time, paralyzed with all the inexperience and confusion and stage-fright. I still remember telling my Mom when I was about 12 (and numerous times after) that the only way I’d ever have a girlfriend would be for them to ask me out, to keep the ball in their possession, their control. Wise before my time? Not *ing likely.

Funny, two years later, I've been mostly right. My two relationships have been with women that more or less pursued me. On the whole scratch thing (bears explaining since it seems a little melodramatic), I was diagnosed with deep depression by age 9. It's something I've struggled with my whole life. One of the biggest contributing factors to my last breakup was my being diagnosed as bipolar. My gf at the time just couldn't handle the thought of it, and later she found out in some roundabout way that suicide was something that crossed my mind on occasion, as it has from a very young age. She couldn't handle it. When she found out she called me, crying. It was hard for her to understand that for me it's a normal thing, as it is all I know.

Alright, if I keep rambling I'll let out my life story...so I'll stop now (and anyone morbidly interested in such continuation can contact me for more, I keep no secrets).

I've visited the Serenitree, I've been lurking there. I've still yet to make it through the monstrous threads. When I have, I'll make my presence known ;D

---
inch towards daylight

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Sunday, November 6, 2005 3:39 PM

BRUISERSMOM

So why don't you nice guys walk over to the girl and say hi? I always wonder when I'm out with my girlfriends where the nice guys are in the bar. Only the drunk morons seems to come up to me and I have to tell them to get lost. They're putting their hand on my leg or something and since I'm the female version of Simon, I'm sitting there thinking about how inappropriate it is when he's only just met me. Then, I hear that nice guys are too scared to talk to any women, so I stop going to bars. Now I spend Friday and Saturday nights at home watching Sex and the City or out to dinner with friends.

Sometimes, I hear that the nice guys who aren't hiding out at the bar spend their weekends at home. Maybe we should do a neighborhood scavenger hunt for them? Any thoughts?

Oh, here's a thought from the BruisersMom files. Sometimes the nice guy is still single and a waste of time because he's terrified of commitment or just very comfortable being a confirmed thirtysomething bachelor and only wants a woman to be his girlfriend for the rest of her life. Ended a relationship with one of those nice guys about a year ago.

Oh, and here's something scary. The above mentioned exboyfriend had friends who were just like him. They use to go out to dinner and movies together on Friday nights when they didn't have girlfriends. Maybe, I should post their names so that single women can avoid wasting their time on them? Yeah, why not. Their names are David Poepoe, Webb Deneys and I forget the other guy's last name. His first name was Jason. You'll see him with the other two guys anyway.

"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."--George Mikes

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Sunday, November 6, 2005 3:48 PM

BRUISERSMOM

That's a sweet story!

"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."--George Mikes

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Sunday, November 6, 2005 4:07 PM

KELLYOFLUTHIEN

BruisersMom, that sounds a lot like what I go through! Most guys who approach me at the bar are total sleazeballs. And those who appear to be nice end up just wanted a physical relationship with no strings attached (I had something like this happen a few weeks ago and was very discouraged, because I thought he really was a nice guy).

I've looked in my closet, in the cabinets, in the trunk of my car, and under the bushes for nice guys, but I haven't found any yet....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love my Captain

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Sunday, November 6, 2005 4:40 PM

BARCLAY

All right, as a guy who has been called nice and is all-too familliar with the things presented in this thread, I ask you nice women a question:

What should we say to you to distinguish us from the pool of drunken idiots, but that doesn't instantly turn you off to the thought of having a conversation with us? Perhaps if we knew what types of things would lessen rejection, we might be more willing to come out of hiding.

"You are on the Global Frequency."
http://www.frequencysite.com
http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com

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Sunday, November 6, 2005 4:43 PM

BRUISERSMOM

It's so sad that he turned out to be a sleaze but I'm not suprised. I had a girlfriend who dated a lot of guys from her favorite Irish pub and she gave up on it after a while because she found them all wanting a physical relationship and nothing more. Watching her go through men from the pub, it seems like there are a lot of guys who don't want a relationship ever or just ended a relationship and are on the rebound.

Or, I had a different girlfriend who dated an Irish singer who worked in the pub. Turned out all that he wanted to do was sing Irish music which would've been fine if it paid the bills so that he didn't have to mooch cigarettes, food and shelter off of my friend who was dating him and friends. My girlfriend tried to talk him into getting a day job but he wouldn't and she soon realized that his other friends had tried too to no avail. She dumped him when she realized that he was just going to hang around as long as he was getting sex and free cigs.

"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."--George Mikes

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Sunday, November 6, 2005 5:26 PM

KELLYOFLUTHIEN

Quote:
Originally posted by Barclay:
All right, as a guy who has been called nice and is all-too familliar with the things presented in this thread, I ask you nice women a question:

What should we say to you to distinguish us from the pool of drunken idiots, but that doesn't instantly turn you off to the thought of having a conversation with us? Perhaps if we knew what types of things would lessen rejection, we might be more willing to come out of hiding.

"You are on the Global Frequency."
http://www.frequencysite.com
http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com

Speaking for myself (and who knows if I actually have the same ideas as other women?), I think something sincere and friendly, but not sleazy, is the best bet. For example, I think it was ChrisIsAll who said he approached a girl and just told her he had been noticing her all night. That's cute, not too stalker-ish, and definitely not sleazy. Pickup lines are sleazy. Grabbing at me is sleazy. But friendly conversation, and actually listening to what I say, is flattering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love my Captain

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Sunday, November 6, 2005 8:05 PM

RICKKER

okay I'm gonna try to put in my 2cents.
Since forever I've had a problem talking to people. I used to joke it was terminal, it felt like it was killing me. I've since gotten better but by no means "out of my shell" Constant compliments have been "nice" guy + cute. I think average in terms of looks. I have been in relationships before, just not very many or overly long. Some family members believe I'm gay because I haven't had a girl friend since, well it's been a long while since anyone other than me has taken hold of my plow.
I spent 8 years in the navy. In the beginning there was a girl. I was stationed on the east coast, she was in Seattle area and young. Long distance relationships dont work. While in the military I wasn't comfortable starting a relationship. For me, I want to be there for her and I want her to be there for me. Not very likely when you are gone @ half the year. Since then I have gotten my life back together and got myself into a position that I was comfortable seeing people. After getting out I was living with the folks gettin back on my feet. I have asked some women in my area out, some I thought were interested, I got some signals, so far none said yes. Where the hell was I going with this?
My sister is convinced I'm waiting for a supermodel. Nope, most are just to damn skinny. I've made a habit of going to local sci-fi conventions.(creation cons in Seattle area) The Xena one really threw me. lots of women, just not into men. I usually go with my nephew. Kindof a bonding thing for us. He's really cute, isn't that suppose to be like the puppy thing in the park,(oooh factor or something). I'm not really picky, just not looking for anything, and although sex would be great, not so mucha priority as a friend, companion. Did any of this make any sense? I'm rambling again aren't I?

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 2:03 AM

XEROGRAVITY

Someone needs to start a masculinist movement (replete with men burning jock straps) (not very original, stole that from Red Dwarf).

It's odd to me in this day and age to see and hear women still calling men villains in the dating world.

Who emasculated who? And who wants to effeminize who?

Or who effeminated who and who wants to emasculize who?

(did I just invent a word?)

XG

No such thing as gravity. The "Earth-that-was" just sucks.

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 4:23 AM

TALLAUSSIEBROWNCOAT

Quite a lot of us are in hibernation, sometimes due to confidence, sometimes due to tending to past wounds. Sometimes a bit of both.

Hell, my luck is pretty bad, but still better than a lot of guys'.

My amused outlook is that I ALWAYS pick the girls that are:

A) Psychotic.

B) Taken.

C) Lesbian/Bi.

or

D) All of the above.

The last one I was with gutted me something fierce. Yo-Saff-Bridge couldn't have done a finer job.

I was only 20 too.

To cut it short, we'd been close as could be for three months, and all of a sudden, she sent me an SMS (AKA cell text message) telling me it was over.

I found out why when she invited me out to the city soon after getting rid of me. And I planned to at least try one last time to win her back.

I found out on the day that she had also invited a guy we both knew from work (we worked in different divisions, same company). This didn't completely set off alarm bells.

We also met up with two of her friends at the city's Showground festival.

Cue now definite ex-girlfriend and guy from work kissing away as if I was like the Predator and not visible to either couple at all.

And after this display she talked to me like nothing happened, actually expecting the fifth wheel that had been crushed under her heel TWICE now to follow her/them!

Either she was thick as two bricks, or she KNEW what she was doing.

I made my excuses and got the hell OUT of there.

That was three years ago now. Not a date since/yet.

So there's one answer. Some of us had exes as bad as(or worse than) Yo-Saff-Bridge.

*Smokes from the Satanic Heel Print*

As a final word though, I can say, as put off as I have been, I DO want to give dating a try again.

And perhaps someone with likes/dislikes closer to mine might help, who knows?

*Aims to try his luck with Geek!Grrrrls*

--------------------------------------------------

"Hey, support it best you can! I believe supporting this as far as we can will get Serenity restarted. Right now seems VERY "Out Of Gas", and the Fans are Mal. We need to get her running to get the Big Damn Button pushed."

"I don't care what you believe in! Just BELIEVE!"

- Self Quote from a reply to a post about Serenity

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 12:13 PM

LIGHTMEDARK

Wow, XeroGravity, you have my head spinning, haha ;D

Another point about lack of nice guys (or at least me): I was recently told by some guys that this girl that works the same place I do was mad about me. They said even they could see the heavy hints she was dropping me for a while now. I don't know why none of them mentioned it until she gave up and went with some other guy (she's rather beautiful, no problem with getting men).

My point is that I literally have approximately no clue when it comes to women and their "hints," and my method of hinting to them is apparently ineffectual, as something that would be significant to me doesn't set off anything for them.

Yet another reason that my two relationships have been with women that more or less smacked me over the head with their interest.

---
inch towards daylight

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 2:50 PM

THESENTINEL

Plus a lot of those guys are already MARRIED. Nice guys tend to do that...

Or they're gay...

Which I guess they could be married too...

But only in Vermont...

Is it Vermont?

Adam

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Monday, November 14, 2005 6:26 AM

CALLMESERENITY

That's part of the problem, isn't it? Reading signals can be difficult.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Monday, November 14, 2005 6:58 AM

ZOOT

Quote:
Originally posted by LightMeDark:
Wow, XeroGravity, you have my head spinning, haha ;D

Another point about lack of nice guys (or at least me): I was recently told by some guys that this girl that works the same place I do was mad about me. They said even they could see the heavy hints she was dropping me for a while now. I don't know why none of them mentioned it until she gave up and went with some other guy (she's rather beautiful, no problem with getting men).

My point is that I literally have approximately no clue when it comes to women and their "hints," and my method of hinting to them is apparently ineffectual, as something that would be significant to me doesn't set off anything for them.

Yet another reason that my two relationships have been with women that more or less smacked me over the head with their interest.

---
inch towards daylight

I actually agree, LMD, that it’s really unfair the way men are required to take the initiative (or at least they are in olde-wordly places like England) and us girls have to wait for the nod from the young gentleman of our choice, having to satisfy ourselves with dropping HEAVY hints and hoping they get the message … I’m told there are places where a girl can ask a man out, but certainly where I come from that would be considered fairly forward and likely to make any young man run in terror, scattering roses as he goes …

I once spent a year (a WHOLE gorram year!!) dancing round a guy I thought wasn’t interested, when it turned out he was simply as girly as I was and was waiting for me to make the first move – which I was really never gonna … the only thing that saved us was huge quantities of inhibition-removing alcohol and an empty house …

SO believe me, I sympathise with the whole not getting the signs thing – I personally like to think there are hundreds of nice boys out there swooning with affection for me, each of whom I gaily trot over on a daily basis, totally oblivious – It’s either that or no one’s the least bit interested …

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Monday, November 14, 2005 6:55 PM

XEROGRAVITY

TAB

The female of our species is infinitely more deadly than the male.

It remains true from insects, all the way on through to mammals in every part of nature.

Life on Earth-that-is is just full of basic lessons.

Don't fall in love with a black widow. In other words, don't fall for the "nice girl" routine.

XG

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Monday, November 14, 2005 7:33 PM

KELLAINA

I love this thread. Not that the fact that it needs to exist is a good thing, but the comaderie of it... I hope that came out right... I'm not trying to say that anyone's pain is good or anything like that. Just that I can completely relate to it and am therefore happy the thread exists.

Quote:
Originally posted by XeroGravity:
Don't fall in love with a black widow. In other words, don't fall for the "nice girl" routine.

What is the "nice girl" routine? 'Cause now I'm kind of worried that this may be my problem...

Hell with this; I'm gonna live! - Kaylee "Serenity"

If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. -"Angel"

Browncoat? Canadian? Join us:
http://movies.groups.yahoo.com/group/canadianbrowncoats/

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Monday, November 14, 2005 9:02 PM

KELLYOFLUTHIEN

Quote:
Originally posted by Kellaina:
What is the "nice girl" routine? 'Cause now I'm kind of worried that this may be my problem...

Uhoh.....I'm a "nice girl"....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love my Captain

Check out my Big Damn FF Icons at http://www.livejournal.com/community/bigdamnfficons/

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 1:56 AM

TALLAUSSIEBROWNCOAT

Quote:
Originally posted by Kellaina:
I love this thread. Not that the fact that it needs to exist is a good thing, but the comaderie of it... I hope that came out right... I'm not trying to say that anyone's pain is good or anything like that. Just that I can completely relate to it and am therefore happy the thread exists.

Quote:
Originally posted by XeroGravity:
Don't fall in love with a black widow. In other words, don't fall for the "nice girl" routine.

What is the "nice girl" routine? 'Cause now I'm kind of worried that this may be my problem...

When it comes to guys, I'm one of the foolish ones, hoping to find the best in everyone.

Look where that got Kaylee. During the show I mean.

(Quite a trail of no and where.)

--------------------------------------------------

"Hey, support it best you can! I believe supporting this as far as we can will get Serenity restarted. Right now seems VERY "Out Of Gas", and the Fans are Mal. We need to get her running to get the Big Damn Button pushed."

"I don't care what you believe in! Just BELIEVE!"

- Self Quote from a reply to a post about Serenity

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 2:38 AM

CAPTAINMALISMYHERO

Well, if I were to consider myself a nice guy that would mean I think very highly of myself, I consider myself an alright guy. I've been told that I'm very nice but I just don't see it, I don't know.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 4:12 AM

STDOUBT

Just finished reading this thread.
I'm really curious about the demographics
of these forums. I'd imagine the age ranges
would skew to the younger crowd (18-24)?
Asking because I'm 38 (yeah, yikes!) and I'm
wondering if I'm the only Grandpa. Actually,
I've never married...(again, yikes)
I have a ton to say about Firefly/Serenity, but
that's for another forum.
Back to topic,
To echo a few other posts, alot of guys are in hibernation for various reasons. I know this because all my guy friends who *don't care* about commitment, *don't care* about the woman as a person to maybe be with long-term are out there _Getting_It!_ The guys I know who *do care*, (with rare exception) are single, and kind of in give-up mode. Myself included.
For all you younglings out there, the Thirties are kinda strange - I *feel* 27, so when women that age call me sir, it really messes with my head.
Anyhoo-
I agree it's about chemistry but utmost imo is communication. It's weird how you can climb a 1000ft sheer slickrock face with no ropes, address a room full of professionals, coax a growling Doberman into being nice, and then CHOKE when a woman you think is attractive starts chatting you up..... WTF IS that?!?!
(Warning: you too may end up 38 and not know wtf)
P.S. This is the 1st place I've heard of LARPs -- do they take geezers generally?

P.P.S. Mai, where do you want us?

Good Luck all, y'all seem real "nice" to me.

"She understands... she doesn't comprehend"

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 4:38 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST

All this talk of Chemistry..... What about biology! There has to be some biology right? Mind you lets not forget about the physics too, eh phnarr, phnarr!!!!!!... Dang!...I shoulda done science at school - but then, I thought it was all about poetry and the arts...y'know you have to be able to express yourself correctly, when you see that certain someone who you spark with... Oh...Sparks!!!! It is all about chemistry!!!.... Who'd have thunk it!

www.cirqus.com

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 6:07 AM

MAL4PREZ

Quote:
Originally posted by XeroGravity:
TAB

The female of our species is infinitely more deadly than the male.

It remains true from insects, all the way on through to mammals in every part of nature.

Life on Earth-that-is is just full of basic lessons.

Don't fall in love with a black widow. In other words, don't fall for the "nice girl" routine.

XG

This is indeed such an interesting thread.

I've always thought this nice girl/guy phenomenon was a little mysterious. I mean most everyone claims to be nice looking for nice but from what I've seen, we all have some not-nice and we're all drawn to the dark side on occasion. I certainly don't think there's more focused niceness on any side of the gender line. We're all human.

My take, of me, is that I'm more on the abrasive side (maybe not to the black widow point) but I want to be nice. Really I do! It just doesn't work out. I'm not good at it.

I had an excellent discussion of this kind of thing with a very wise (and truly nice) friend last spring. Her suggestion is to be my abrasive self but always make sure that the people that count know they are important to me. This isn't as easy as it sounds, but has been somewhat successful.

Maybe that just means I'm becoming nice?

Ask Dr. Science ... he knows more than you do.

"I have a Master's degree ... in science!"

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 6:16 PM

KELLAINA

Quote:
Originally posted by TallAussieBrowncoat:
Quote:
Originally posted by Kellaina:
I love this thread. Not that the fact that it needs to exist is a good thing, but the comaderie of it... I hope that came out right... I'm not trying to say that anyone's pain is good or anything like that. Just that I can completely relate to it and am therefore happy the thread exists.

Quote:
Originally posted by XeroGravity:
Don't fall in love with a black widow. In other words, don't fall for the "nice girl" routine.

What is the "nice girl" routine? 'Cause now I'm kind of worried that this may be my problem...

When it comes to guys, I'm one of the foolish ones, hoping to find the best in everyone.

Look where that got Kaylee. During the show I mean.
(Quite a trail of no and where.)

Maybe the key is patience? And a life jeopardizing gun battle?

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 6:31 PM

STIZO

All girls looking for a nice guy should read this:

http://espanol.geocities.com/numeritos/10percenters.html

Yes we do exist. True enough, we're not out there in large numbers but statistically speaking, you should be able to find one.

The real problem is that, for whatever reason, women are attracted to jerks. I know this is not always true but it is more often than not. (at least from my own experience)

Viva la 10 percenters!

----------------------------------------------
Conquering the 'verse with terrifying space monkeys, one ship at a time...

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 6:36 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL

I can't speak for everyone in here, but I happen to be a cusper. 29...I'd say communication is it! I don't have a problem approaching a guy, I, however, am not one of the searchers so it's silly for me to be here...

And I'd like some of those sparks Ric is talking about.

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 7:41 PM

PEACEMAKER

It's true about women and jerks. True, and aggravating. Who ever thought nice guys would have to fake being jerks to get girls? Blows the mind...

Matt

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 8:42 PM

MAI

Quote:
Plus a lot of those guys are already MARRIED. Nice guys tend to do that...

Or they're gay...

These two things are only a problem when the "nice" guy doesn't tell you before you start dating him.

Not that I'd know from personal experience or...uhhh I just yeah

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 8:46 PM

MAI

Welcome to the thread!

Quote:
P.P.S. Mai, where do you want us?

ATTENTION: The line for nice boys to date forms at my front door.

Let's go boys!

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 9:55 PM

THUNDAR

For demographics sake, I am 44. I too looked up not too long ago and thought WTF, I've been letting a social life pass me by.
Now, unfortunately, most Women I tend to be attracted to are in their 20's to 30's and won't look at the old man twice.

With the intent of meeting some like-minded females, one in particular, I went to a few of the local meet-ups. Turns out she is Married, the search continues.

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005 3:51 AM

CALLMESERENITY

I'm not attracted to jerks. If he's not nice to babies and puppies and his mother, I am NOT interested.

Of course, it's like Mai said, you don't always know right up front. The jerks tend to pretend to be nice to you (and the babies and the puppies) and do all the things they think you want them to do because they're trying to woo you and then, once you're wooed, they start to show their true nature. By then, you're hooked and it's harder to just cut him loose.

I got over my bad boy phase in high school.

Thundar-lots of women prefer older men. They get tired of the immaturity of the men their own age. They want someone stable and secure. I tend to date older men. One guy I dated was 11 years older than me. So, all I'm saying is, don't give up hope.

Oh, and Mai-if the line for the nice boys starts at your door-I'm moving in with you!!

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005 4:00 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST

thatweirdgirl wrote:

Quote:
I can't speak for everyone in here, but I happen to be a cusper.

ok, ok Alene... You're gonna have to help me out here... I er.... This is going to be one of those really embarrasing moments where I illustrate just what a 'mungus doof I am, but..........

What's a cusper?!?!?

(I know, I know, this is right up there with that time I sat around a table at a pub and nodded 'knowingly' when the conversation jinked to talk of Metrosexuals....And when an accusatory remark came my way as to how 'metrosexual' I was, I rather too keenly, butted in with:

"No,no I like girls OK!!!"

Which was met with stoney faces, a beat, and then the entire table laughing at me.) Hey how was I to know !?!?

So to avoid any repetitions of said encounter, and subsequent humiliation, lets get it out in the open now..... could you do me the favour of explaining 'a cusper' ? For I know not what one is? Thank you

Quote:
And I'd like some of those sparks Ric is talking about.

Hey you not had the sparks? Why TWG you'd like the sparks! I've had 'em :) They were great... of course it turned into a raging inferno that went out of control and burned me - but hey.... Like a firefly dancing in the still summer night sky... It sure was mighty purdy there for a while......

*sigh*

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005 4:20 AM

XEROGRAVITY

Hmm.. I was just being facetious in previous posts. I'm a strict adherent to the "be publicly weird" philosophy. I'll forego my cosmic ethos and be serious for one of those super-rare moments...

Nice is a relative term. In fact "nice" has nothing to do with being happy in relationships. Just be honest. Be blunt, and brutally honest. Always say what you're thinking and what you truly believe (even if you're wrong at least you're being honest). Be honest even if it costs you. I've been around the block a few times on this one.

Be like that 24/7.

I think if you do that, you'll attract someone just like you. You'll probably be hated everywhere you go, but at least you won't be a phony. Of course, you don't tell that drunk man-ape biker in the bar who is the size of a refrigerator that his physical presence is offensive to your nostrils unless you fight like River Tam and have an escape plan. But you get the idea.

XG

No such thing as gravity. The "Earth-that-was" just sucks.

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