OK and now for the 10 WORST movies... by Chindi

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

OK and now for the 10 WORST movies...

POSTED BY: CHINDI
UPDATED: Tuesday, November 29, 2005 22:01
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 26101
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Friday, November 25, 2005 12:19 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by RiveR6213:

The Day After Tomorrow - My ex-husband worked on that film so I completely hate it.

What happened?

-------------------------------------
Q: Why don't we just raise the defensive shields?
A: A superb suggestion with just two major drawbacks. One, we don't have any defensive shields. And two, we don't have any defensive shields. Technically speaking thats only one flaw, but it was such a big one I thought I mention it twice.

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Friday, November 25, 2005 9:21 PM

MAXGREMLIN

Okay, for me when it comes to films I hate, I don't kid around. I've seeb alot of bad films in my time but it takes alot for me to wholly and truly despise a film. There are many films I don't like. But these are the ones that really get my blood boiling.

1. Starship Troopers (I wont even bother with the direct to dvd sequel) Essentially a cast full of Nazis that we are suppose to root for?
Please! Rico looks like the perfect solider who brightens up every time one of his comrades dies and he gets promoted as a result. Doogie Howzer, pyschic Gestapo Agent? Giant bugs that shoot interstellar feces? Not even a brief appearence by Michael Ironside is enough to redeem this film. In the end, I was rooting for the bugs.

2. Any film by Michael Bay, the cinematic hellspawn.

a. The Rock- Connery and Cage do their best. But with the exception of a few good lines, nothing more than a bunch of stupid action sequences and an even stupider story.

b. Pearl Harbor- Take one battle and inflate it into a 3 hour "epic". Bay thinks he can hide behind special effects and no one will notice what a bad director he is. Only this time he was mucking with history. Deplorable.

c. The Bad Boys films- Will Smith slumming. The man can and has done better. Though it is a real feat to do a film that sets back race relations by a good 20 years.

d. Armageddon- Ben Affleck should sue Bay for the damage he's done to his career. He didn't do Bruce Willis any favors either. The story was so moronic I wanted to leave the theater. The dialogue just made me puke. And Liv Tyler's only function in that film was to estabilsh that neither Affleck's nor Willis's characters were gay. She was the hetero-meter since she made out with Affleck and Willis fathered her. And talk about squandering millions of dollars in special effects. Did anyone think they were on an asteroid or just a stupid looking soundstage?

Haven't seen The Island and don't plan to. Been hosed too many times by Bay. If I spend money on another one of his films I've only myself to blame. And yet the SOB's films make millions and he continues to have a career. There is no justice in the world.

3. Alien 3- You know, before you start production on a film it might be good idea for you to (literally) HAVE A SCRIPT!!!!! Director David Fincher redeemed himself with Seven. But honestly what were these people thinking? Killing Newt and Hicks? Rendering the entire climax of Aliens as meaningless? Then polishing off Ripley for good measure? The whole film was just a trainwreck.

Well there's my list. Short and sour. Most bad movies I never give a thought to. These however took time away from my life I'll never get back.

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Friday, November 25, 2005 9:59 PM

SERENYTY

I have only one. And let me just save my reputation by saying this: I DID NOT SEE THIS BECAUSE I WANTED TO. I was forced to see it at a sleepover, OK.

And the worst movie of ALL time is...

Spice World (The spice girls movie).

You know anything with the spice girls must be bad. But how bad? Nothing could save this movie. The plot? There is none. None I could follow. Aliens just randomly come to ask for their autograph. These random people keep chasing them around.

Worst (and perhaps most hilarious) line: "Does anyone know how to deliver a baby."

Sheesh, this was horrible. Acting sucked. Basically no redeeming qualities, EXCEPT the fact that it's so mockable.

~A message from Serenyty~

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Saturday, November 26, 2005 9:20 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

Hmmmmm... Just *10*? Time to start whittling down the list a bit... or start cheating! :) Anythough, here we go, in no particular order.

1. Caddyshack 2. Making a sequel to Caddyshack (one of the all-time *funniest* movies ever made, with a punchline for every single scene) was just a bad, bad idea. So bad that Ted Knight died, rather than be in it. I've tried, and I can't make myself sit through this one without looking around for a rope and a tree limb to throw it over...

2. Battlefield Earth. Not quite as bad as Caddyshack 2, but only because it's funnier. And because that humor is purely unintentional. Again, I can't get all the way through it, ever. Not even on a bet.

3. Ishtar. I've never even gotten more than 20 minutes into this one, so it should probably be at #1 on my list - with a bullet. A bullet with my name on it, if anyone ever again tries to force this drivel on me. My hair stands up on my arms and I get goosebumps, just from being embarrassed for Beatty & Hoffman for doing this flick.

4. Waterworld. Or, as I call it, "Fishtar". 'Nuff said. Watching it made me want to be a Smoker, just so I could put lit cigarettes out in my eyes.

5. Red Dawn, Dirty Dancing, and Road House (Tie). "Wolveriiiiiiiinnnnnesssss!!!" Letter to Communist invaders: "Dear Russia: Please invade my town and nuke my theater if they ever try to show Red Dawn. Thanks a ton! Love, Mike." Road House: the blind musician actually had an advantage over me, because he couldn't see how crappy this tripe was. Dirty Dancing: ALMOST worth watching just to see Patrick Swayze deliver (in a serious tone, no less) the line, "Nobody puts Baby in the corner."

6.Showgirls, Strip Tease, and Gigli (Tie). I'll actually watch these, because they're just so *amazingly*, over-archingly BAD, that they become - in some weird and perverted way - GOOD. These are a couple of my "personal MST3K" faves; I put 'em on, turn down the sound, and just make up my own dialog about how awful this offal truly is. Bad movies are easy to make, but stuff that's this purely unredeeming takes an almost inspired vision to pull off.

7. Any movie that Van Damme, Stegal (Steven Segal), or Chuch Norris appear in.

8. The Fast & The Furious, 2Fast 2Furious (Tie). Two Fast-n-Furious movies is two too many. From now on, I'll wait for the book. And then, instead of reading that book, I'll use it to hammer 3-inch nails into my temples and groin. Much less painful than sitting through these flicks.

9. Driven & Cutthroat Island (Tie). Renny Harlin. 'Nuff said. Driven made me want to drive into a bridge abutment, and Cutthroat Island made me want to cut my own throat, just to not have to watch any more of it.

10. Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions. In short, any Matrix movie that wasn't the first one.

Honorable Mentions:

Jerry McGuire. Show me the money. Really. I want my $5 back. Better yet, I want my two hours back. You didn't have me at "Hello"; you never had me. I hate this movie with every fiber of my being.

Pretty Woman. Pretty bad movie. Julia Roberts as a horse-faced hooker (Hey, Julia - why the long face? ;) ), and Richard Gere looking like he misses his gerbil.

Bram Stoker's Dracula. Keanu Reeves' bitchin' British accent was, like, "whoa...". And that was the GOOD part of the movie!

Johnny Mnemonic. More like Johnny Moronic. Could somebody PLEASE just short out my brain before I see this again?!

Mike

Grrrrr. Arrrgghh.

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Saturday, November 26, 2005 11:12 PM

DRX

Ok I'm thinking some of you just mentally blocked out a few 'else I'd have seen them already.
1. Four Rooms... This movie would have gotten me arrested if I hadn't rented it off the net. If I had seen it at a theater or rented it from a down the street place, I would have used a gun to get my money back. Admittedly my fault, if I had seen Maddona was in it, I'd have know better.
2. Golden Boy... I was 13 and went to see this in the theater. First movie I ever walked out of, my dad gave 10 bucks for not making him sit through the whole thing.
3.Barbarella... Kinda hate to admit to having tried to watch it, but c'mon, someone has to toss it out there.
4.The Time Machine... The re-make of course, actually has there ever been a good remake of a movie?
If Batman Begins can be considered a re-make then there is one. But, on average, a remake always sucks in comparison. Also, sequals are almost always a disapointment. Look how many movies listed above are "Such and Such 2"
Any movie made from a book or series of books is also bound to disapoint the fans of those books. there just is no way to get the details into it without it being a mini-series or an actual series. Examples: LOTR... how can you not have Tom Bombadil(sp? been awhile since I read it),how can one possibly do justice to these books in only 9 hours?. Battlefeild Earth: good book (except the gas was ok after how many years? I have to put stuff in my motorcycles gas to make it still burn after 1 season of unrideable weather, but I digress) this book is 1000+ pages it would probably make a good series. Second thought, if we're going to make a Hubbord series Mission Earth would be great, not alot of sci-fi comedy... damn, digressing again, I best be off.

DRX

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Saturday, November 26, 2005 11:41 PM

MOHRSTOUTBEARD

Quote:
Originally posted by DrX:
has there ever been a good remake of a movie?

In the strictest sense of the term, maybe not, but John Carpenter's The Thing and Philip Kaufman's Invasion of the Body Snatchers both spring to mind instantly (although the latter is more like a sequel and the former is more appropriately thought of as another, more faithful version of the story "Who Goes There?").

------------------
"Remember, there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over."

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Sunday, November 27, 2005 4:17 PM

REAVERHUNTER

I am new to this board and late to this post, here is my worst ten.

1- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, worst movie ever with numerous hols in the plot and terrible cut scenes.

2-Battle Field Earth- horrid

3-Highlander II- I hate mentioning sequels but this has to be put here.

4-Harry Potter-nuff said

5-Freddy Got Fingered- No value in that movie whatsoever.

6-Hero- Terrible and utterly waste of my time and money.

7-Any Rob Zombie film- I have seen pieces of one and watched Devils Rejects and feel like I lost large portion of sanity.

8-Batman and Robin- Again I hate to put sequels but this was awful.

9-Sideways- this one hurts cause I like the actors and actresses in it.

10-Star Wars attack of the clones, this movie ruined the entire three pre-movies for me and cheapened the star wars overall saga. George did the right thing by starting with the 4th one of the saga.

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Sunday, November 27, 2005 5:25 PM

DIEGO

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:

28 Days Later
Reign of Fire (it had so much potential...)
Chrisisall

I rented 28 Days Later and agree that it was pretty abismal, however they included an alternate ending with a chicken in place of the male protagonist. I would have loved for them to have done the whole movie with the chicken in place of the main character. In fact there are a number of movies where the film would be much better with chicken actors.

i saw Reign of Fire with two friends. I spent most of my time laughing at the really over-the-top acting with one of my friends while the other kept complaining that we were ruining her suspension of disbelief! I can't imagine how she could turn enough brain off to take that movie seriously.

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Sunday, November 27, 2005 5:29 PM

GEDEON

Quote:
Some of your worst are my favourites, ...

My head is in the garbage picking some of these movies up!!!

28 days later!!! Best movie with Zombies, has hope at the end unlike all the Romero movies...

Stallone did COPLAND. Maybe his best performance

10- Alien 3 is Great: another time where FOX producers screwed up!!! Fincher did redeem himself with honor

9- Ridley Scott was a god for about two movies: His first two. Maybe three with Thelma and Louise. But everything he's done, including Gladiator-I'm with you on that one THESOMNAMBULIST, is waste of precious time. He's become a Coppolla-Do-it-for-the-money-ho...

8- Batman rules, because finally they made it into a real movie. Everything called Batman before Batman Begins was a waste of film and studio time.

Lord of the rings: I've read it so often, of course I had some griping to do. But it's a great story beautifuly transcribed on film.

7- Alien from Ridley Scott is the only good horror movie he did. Then someone comes up with Alien vs Predator. I sat at the movies thinking, this is going to be good, until the closing credits started. Then I went home and wept.

Dumb and Dumber... I just wrote that down and already I feel nausious. Let's not even go there. Clearly, most of us have seen this and knew right off the bat what to expect. Nuff said.

6- Rambo movies. Yes that's right. I liked First Blood because it has a pognant story, if you take the time to watch it. But the acting is bad and the sequels nailed the lid shut.

5- Bruce Willis. He was ok in Pulp Fiction and also ok in Die Hard.

4- John Travolta, take your pick. He also appeared ok in Pulp Fiction. White Man's Burden was an interesting story, but it's still on my list because of the name in front of this paragraph.

3- Amazon Women on the moon: Great dissapointment. Kentucky Fried Movie is the one you want, or go for Monty Python movies for spleen-bursting laughter...

2- Lost Highway, because I love David Lynche. He should've known better. Drop the kits, boy, and start making pictures again!!!
...
1- Yet to be determined. I'll be renting movies soon, so I'll keep you posted...

Gedeon

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Sunday, November 27, 2005 5:50 PM

ORPHEUS

DrX:

Quote:
actually has there ever been a good remake of a movie?

Off the top of my head: Ocean's Eleven. The original (starring the likes of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and all those guys) was so awful to begin with, that any remake would have been a step up.

Then there's 12 Monkeys. If you want to call that a remake (of a 1960s French short film called La Jetee).

"Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?"

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Tuesday, November 29, 2005 8:50 PM

MICKEY6

Quote:
Originally posted by MohrStoutbeard:
Quote:
if you saw a guy beating the crap out of himself in a parking lot, would you idolize him and want to follow him?

Well, some people would certainly be somewhat curious, wouldn't they? Some people might even go over and see what it was all about, and maybe some would even stick around to see what else this guy had to say. They didn't idolize him because he beat the crap out of himself, they idolized him because he was espousing a philosophy that seemed to fit with where they were in their life.

I understand it's the philosophy they follow. But, unless I misremember, the guys who came up after the "fight" didn't ask for or listen to a philosophical speech, they asked, "Can we be next?" Next what? Next to kick the stuffing out of yourselves? Knock yourselves out. Literally.

But like I said, I enjoyed it aside from that. So maybe I should give it a second chance, see if the plot hole is really as big as I remember.

How could I have forgotten Bram Stoker's Dracula on my list? Yeesh. I must have blocked it out for sanity's sake.

And while I'm thinking of Copollas, anything with Nic Cage pretty much sucks the root, too. Thank God his Superman movie died before it was released. What genius said, "You know who would make a great Superman? Nic Cage. Yeah. Undershot chin, receding hairline, scrawny body, painful-looking smile, who could look at him and not think Superman?"

Showgirls didn't quite make the list, because it's fun to watch with a group of friends. Like Kwicko said, it's MST3K material. Especially if one of your friends is so obsessive, he knows the exact places to pause the movie to get panty-free upskirt shots of the leading lady...I've always wondered why she didn't wear a thong, or something....

.....
It takes a village to raise a child, and an army to raze a village.

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Tuesday, November 29, 2005 10:01 PM

SHINYGEEKET

I don't know if I can think of 10, but here goes:

- Catwoman - My former best friend dragged me to see this opening weekend because she had a thing for Halle Berry. It was a NIGHTMARE

- Alexander - The same former friend also dragged me to see this piece of goushi during her Angelina Jolie phase. Are you seeing why we aren't friends anymore?

- Mr. & Mrs. Smith - Maybe not one of the worst films of all time, but SO overrated!

- Bewitched - Just.Freaking.Horrible.

- Elektra - I noticed a lot of people listed Daredevil, but not Elektra. Perhaps it's because those who say DD were smart enough not to put themselve through the hell that this movie was. I apparently, am not that bright, lol.

- The Pacifier - Generally I can see the entertainment value in a Vin Diesal movie. Explosion, fighting, Vin - a shirt, but this was just mind numbingly stupid, even for a Vin flick.

- The Ring Two - Pointless and not scary. They should have left well enough alone.

- Halloweens III, VI, Reserection - Michael Myers wasn't even in III, it's the hundan of the series, VI makes absolutly know sense, and Reserection has some of the worst acting I've ever seen, even for a horror movie.

and while I'm on my horror movie tangent,

- Freddy vs. Jason - There's so much I could say here, but I really don't know where to start. Bad, really bad.

- Crossroads - Britney Spears and acting do not mix. This movie is such a cliche, and it's not even a funny cliche.

Guess that makes 10. Can I just say, that I love LotR and Forest Gump, but I agree with the comments made earlier in the thread, that Shawshank Redemption should have won Best Picture.

"We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... 'This Land'."

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