Heinlein's List (How do you stack up?) by Koffee

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Heinlein's List (How do you stack up?)

POSTED BY: KOFFEE
UPDATED: Monday, July 7, 2003 19:15
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Monday, June 30, 2003 9:35 PM

Taking a cue from Kenwwod’s post on the “Firefly and the Heinlein Connection” thread, I thought it would be fun for all of us to go through Heinlein’s list and see how we measure up to his expectations.

Here is Heinlein's list of the 21 things every human should be able to do:

A human being should be able to:
change a diaper = can do
plan an invasion = haven’t felt the need to yet
butcher a hog = haven't yet, but I've helped with my fair share of deer
conn a ship = if this means drive it, well, I’ve paddled a canoe once, but that is about it
design a building = helped draw out my parents plans for their house before we gave the drawings to the architect
write a sonnet = wrote poetry back in high school
balance accounts = I try to make sure the check book is updated via online account every other day
build a wall = yep, landscape retaining walls
set a bone = never had to
comfort the dying = all to recently
take orders = all the time
give orders = all the time
cooperate = yep
act alone = ya
solve equations = when necessary, if I understand them in the first place
analyze a new problem = part of my job
pitch manure = now this is an area where I could be classified as an expert!
program a computer = no way, I’m lucky I found my way to the internet
cook a tasty meal = learned from Grandma
fight efficiently = um, depends on if he means with words or fists? I love good natured debate. But I’m still waiting for mom to teach my those judo throws she used to use on her older brothers.
die gallantly = hopefully I won’t find out on this one for a gorram long time

----------------------------------------------
“It's a real burn, being right so often.”

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Tuesday, July 1, 2003 12:07 AM

LOTV

change a diaper = No Problemo
plan an invasion = Every night on my comp
butcher a hog = If its just butcher, no problem.. but you probably wouldn't want to eat what I slice to ya...

conn a ship = Driving a ship... Remember MST3K the movie?

design a building = sure.. but I don't suggest actually building it..
write a sonnet = Been there, done that.
balance accounts = I know what money I've got...
build a wall = Built a tower.. walls are nothing
set a bone = Done that in scouts before...
comfort the dying = With as little tears as possible.
take orders = Definitely been there..
give orders = Muahaha... I mean.. yes.
cooperate = sure
act alone = can do
solve equations = y=mx+b
analyze a new problem = yea
pitch manure = tossing sh|t... natural human quality.
program a computer = yes++;
cook a tasty meal = tastey for me...
fight efficiently = been a while, but sure.
die gallantly = ...does that mean I can't cry like a baby?

LOTV: Ima-who-whata-whoichy-whoda-whazza--huh?

Garapagosu Last Update: 6/24/03

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Tuesday, July 1, 2003 2:45 AM

MARK

Things every human being should be able to do...

Change a nappy - Yes.
Plan an invasion - I do it as a hobby on weekends.
Butcher a hog - I have the theory, don't know about the practical.
Conn a ship - Totally. Thank the Goddess for space-flight sims.
Design a building - Yup. Not as well as a pro-architect but I could do it.
Write a sonnet - Yup. Have done. Kinda. Just ask Sarahetc.
Balance accounts - Simple. Course, in Heinlein's day they didn't have Excel.
Build a Wall - Hell, I've been a builder's labourer, I could build any damn house I design.
Set a bone - Once again I've got the theory but the practical would be interesting.
Comfort the dying - Done it. Unfortunately.
Take orders - Every day.
Give orders - Not a problem.
Cooperate - Difficult but I think I could.
Act alone - I do that a lot.
Solve equations - Some... With the help of a reference book.
Analyze a new problem - I think so, although it depends on definitions.
Pitch Manure - Done it.
Program a computer - Depends on the language. I'm ok with RISC assembler and Modula 2.
Cook a tasty meal - Easy... But remember tasty can just be beans, potato and something grilled!
Fight efficiently - If I'm given time to make my decisions.
Die gallantly - I hope so.

Twelve spheres of unendurable brightness spalled the velvety blackness of space.
The silence on Lester Tourville's flag bridge was absolute
And then the spell was broken as Shannon Foraker looked up from her console from where she had just sent a seemingly innocent command to the main computers of State Security's finest Superdreadnoughts.
"Oops." She said.

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Tuesday, July 1, 2003 3:08 AM

BEOWULF

change a diaper = It's been a while, but I can.
plan an invasion = Sure - but opportunities for execution have been few.
butcher a hog = Oddly enough, yes.
conn a ship = If we're talking about a sailing ship, not a chance. Otherwise, maybe but I wouldn't risk the other folks on board trying.
design a building = Sure. Noramlly I'd run my plans by an engineer before actually building...
write a sonnet = yup.
balance accounts = yup.
build a wall = Would you like that in stone, brick, cinderblock, rr ties or studs & drywall?
set a bone = Had the training but luckily never the opportunity.
comfort the dying = Hmm. I've tried.
take orders = yup.
give orders = yup.
cooperate = yup.
act alone = yup.
solve equations = Not a strong point - but I can.
analyze a new problem = yup.
pitch manure = Did I do it wrong? What is there to know?
program a computer = yup.
cook a tasty meal = Most days.
fight efficiently = Efficiently? Effectively anyway.
die gallantly = On the day I discover that, my training as a human will be complete.

Actually, I'd like to add a few things to this list, if y'all don't mind:

Change a tire = yup
Build a fire = yup
Sew a shirt = yup
orienteer unfamiliar wilderness using a compass and topo map = yup, but I could use more practice.
Navigate an unfamiliar city using a map. = yup
Hotwire a car = not yet
Grow a salad from seeds = yup

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Tuesday, July 1, 2003 5:25 AM

KAYTHRYN

change a diaper = yup.
plan an invasion = plan an invasion of the boys snow fort...yeah...anything bigger than that...no.
butcher a hog = I can butcher a deer, does that count?
conn a ship = unless it’s on a lake, no.
design a building = yeah, I used to design parts of buildings... I’m sure I could figure out the rest of that stuff.
write a sonnet = not in a million years.
balance accounts = yup.
build a wall = um...yeah...don’t know how sturdy it’d be but yeah.
set a bone = yes.
comfort the dying = Sadly I’ve got lost of experience with that.
take orders = yes sir.
give orders = hehehe, happily.
cooperate = no.
act alone = very nicely.
solve equations = I could try.
analyze a new problem = yup.
pitch manure = not quite sure how I could screw it up.
program a computer = maybe in a few weeks.
cook a tasty meal = yup.
fight efficiently = yes.
die gallantly = yeah, ‘cause why not?
Change a tire = yup
Build a fire = with one match or two sticks and a shoe lace.
Sew a shirt = yeah.
orienteer unfamiliar wilderness using a compass and topo map = yeah.
Navigate an unfamiliar city using a map. = Probably not.
Hotwire a car = yeah, can break into one pretty cleanly too.
Grow a salad from seeds = yup.

-------------------------------------
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Aristotle

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Tuesday, July 1, 2003 6:45 AM

JOHNNYREB

Alright, I know I haven't posted in a while but this sounds fun...

change a diaper--more experience than I would really like.
plan an invasion--I ROCK the games Allied General and Panzer General.
butcher a hog--I could, but it would be, well, butchered.
conn a ship--Since "conn" means direct the movements of a ship by giving directions to a helmsman, I guess so. I would just say, "go there," and hopefully he knows more than I do about "going there."
design a building--floor plan, yes, 3-D model, no.
write a sonnet--Quite a few in college, actually.
balance accounts--My job
build a wall--yup
set a bone--nope
comfort the dying--depends who they were.
take orders--yes
give orders--yes
cooperate--yes
act alone--yes
solve equations--no
analyze a new problem--yes
pitch manure--How hard is it, really?
program a computer--Not in a million jillion years.
cook a tasty meal--edible, though not a real taste sensation
fight efficiently--depends on what I'm fighting for, and what kind of fight it is. I haven't won against my wife yet.

die gallantly--I want to say, yes. But I fear it may be the most abject display of cowardess to embarass anyone with the misfortune of witnessing it. Another problem is, if you screw it up the first time, you blew your one chance.

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Tuesday, July 1, 2003 7:08 AM

VETERAN

Don't squat with your spurs on.

change a diaper--Can do.
plan an invasion-- Full frontal assault, sure.
butcher a hog--I can clean a fish. But I don't know how to butcher a hog. I 'm sure I could slice off a few chunks if I had a sharp enough knife.
conn a ship-- I can sail a small boat.
design a building--depends on the building.
write a sonnet--Never tried. I suppose there's rules to follow for that, so I give it a yes.
balance accounts--Sometimes.
build a wall-- Yes.
set a bone-- I can tie a splint and treat for shock.
comfort the dying-- I suppose.
take orders-- Most of the time.
give orders-- Sure. But who listens.
cooperate--Yes.
act alone-- Yes.
solve equations-- Depends how complex.
analyze a new problem-- Yes.
pitch manure-- Both verbally and physically.
program a computer-- I used to be able to write Basic and Fortran, but who needs that stuff anymore.
cook a tasty meal-- Yes.
fight efficiently-- Verbally I can sometimes rise to the occassion. Physically I can comport myself in a manly fashion. My spinning-back-roundhouse has seen better days, but, I still have a nasty front kick(and I know where to put it), and I know a couple of good trips and throws.
die gallantly-- I only hope so.

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Tuesday, July 1, 2003 6:21 PM

KOFFEE

Quote:
Originally posted by Beowulf:
Actually, I'd like to add a few things to this list, if y'all don't mind:

Don't mind a bit. here are my answers....

Change a tire = if need be
Build a fire = with a good lighter or a big book of matches
Sew a shirt = I can make one from scratch
Orienteer unfamiliar wilderness using a compass and topo map = haven't tried, so I don't know
Navigate an unfamiliar city using a map = yes
Hotwire a car = never tried, but most likely not
Grow a salad from seeds = have a time or two

----------------------------------------------
“It's a real burn, being right so often.”

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Tuesday, July 1, 2003 6:37 PM

WULFHAWK

I tend to overconfidence, but I'll try to keep it real.

A human being should be able to:
change a diaper = 4 kids worth
plan an invasion = nothing larger than 30 men so far
butcher a hog = deer, calf, no hog yet
conn a ship = not yet, small boats only
design a building = nope
write a sonnet = done it
balance accounts = done it
build a wall = done it
set a bone = only sprains so far, tuff kids
comfort the dying = yes
take orders = married
give orders = 4 kids
cooperate = yes
act alone = yes
solve equations = only this side of calculus
analyze a new problem = 4 kids
pitch manure = done it
program a computer = done it
cook a tasty meal = not gourmet, but I do ok
fight efficiently = guns, knives, swords, fists, water ballons, bulletin board duels
die gallantly = one day, yup

Damn, that's not as good as I'd hoped.

tanstaafl

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Wednesday, July 2, 2003 4:29 AM

SERENITYVALLEY

change a diaper = I believe so
plan an invasion = don't know
butcher a hog = no
conn a ship = maaaaaybe
design a building = probably not one that will stay up
write a sonnet = yes, indeed
balance accounts = not yet
build a wall = doubt it
set a bone = ew
comfort the dying = not yet
take orders = yes
give orders = yes
cooperate = yes
act alone = yes
solve equations = yes
analyze a new problem = yes
pitch manure = not yet
program a computer = I betcha
cook a tasty meal = heck no!
fight efficiently = yeah
die gallantly = don't know yet.

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?" -Wash
"I told him to sit down," -Simon

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Wednesday, July 2, 2003 11:56 AM

KENWOOD

Quote:
Originally posted by Koffee:
Taking a cue from Kenwwod’s post on the “Firefly and the Heinlein Connection” thread, I thought it would be fun for all of us to go through Heinlein’s list and see how we measure up to his expectations.

I was hopein' this would catch on. Here goes:

change a diaper = I have a little monster runnin' round the house to attest to this.
plan an invasion = Do it all the time in theory ( RPG's and war games, comp and board ).
butcher a hog = Done it, and with headlights for lighting no less.
conn a ship = Depends on what this means, I could command one but giving the actual actions to take like what sail to raise and such would be a big no.
design a building = Done this several times, just don't ask me to draw plans free hand.
write a sonnet = Not unless you like Vogon poetry.
balance accounts = Yes
build a wall = Sure but it might not look so pretty.
set a bone = Not so much so.
comfort the dying = Yes, at least it seemed to.
take orders = Too often.
give orders = Yes, but not often enough.
cooperate = If I have to.
act alone = No problem.
solve equations = Had some trouble with differential and matrix equations, otherwise sure.
analyze a new problem = I love this.
pitch manure = Been there, smelt it, done it.
program a computer = Since HS.
cook a tasty meal = As long as you don't mind a limited menue.
fight efficiently = In theory yes, in practice I wasn't too good with a sword ( too slow ).
die gallantly = I'd like to think so. Hopefully I won't find out for a while yet.

17 out of 21. Not too bad.

Addendum:

Change a tire = Done it.
Build a fire = Done it.
Sew a shirt = Made one from scratch ( former Midevilist ), but esteticly it's kinda poor.
Orienteer unfamiliar wilderness using a compass and topo map = Done it, but I'm probably a little rusty.
Navigate an unfamiliar city using a map. = This is fun.
Hotwire a car = With tools and alot of time, maybe.
Grow a salad from seeds = As long as you don't want crutons and dressing.

6 out of 7 ( It's an easier list. )

Later,

ME.

Don't look back, som'thin' might be gainin' on ya.
Who let the pigs play poker?
Evo Shander was right!

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Friday, July 4, 2003 11:22 PM

RUTHIE

A human being should be able to:

change a diaper = Four kid's of my own's worth, plus quite a few 'borrowed' ones

plan an invasion = Haven't needed to, but it can't be very different from planning a family holiday for a large family - maps, routes, equipment, supplies.....

butcher a hog = No practical experience, but I know the theory, and don't feel squeemish about trying. I've killed chickens - does that count?

conn a ship = I always assumed this meant spaceship, in Heinlein's context. So - depends if they've left the instruction manual. Enterprise is easy - just tell the computer. Firefly looks rather harder - lots of knobs and switches. Wet water ship? Nothing bigger than a canal barge - and 'conning' there is don't run into the banks...

design a building = Designed my 'perfect' house lots of times in my head - could probably draw it out if we ever had the funds to think about building it.

write a sonnet = Hmmm. Poetry, yes, but I find the sonnet form rather restrictive. I prefer rhythm and rhymes and wordplay. Could I write a ballard instead?

balance accounts = Easy-peasy. Just make sure that you spend less than you earn.

build a wall = No practical experience of anything more sturdy than a garden shed, but I'd give it a go.

set a bone = I'd try, but would prefer to leave that to my hubby, who does this as a job. Come to think of it, he'd be better at butchering the hog, too - anatomy can't be too different to human!

comfort the dying = I'd try, but again it's part of my hubby's job - he'd be better than me.

take orders = So long as they're good orders, and I recognise the authority of the person giving them. If not - stubborn heels dug in....

give orders = To balance the above - as long as I'm sure I have a better knowledge of the situation than the person I'm ordering, and can give competent, informed orders that can be justified by explanation at an appropriate time.

cooperate = My prefered way of working.

act alone = If necessary.

solve equations = Plug the numbers in and work out the answers, yes. Derive them in the first place, only with great difficulty.

analyze a new problem = Love doing that - sent me to be a research scientist!

pitch manure = I'd do my best. I have to confess a slight 'eugh' factor at the thought, probably caused by falling off a wall into a pile of wet manure when I was 5. I'd rather butcher the hog.

program a computer = I taught myself Spectrun basic. After that, it rather lost me...

cook a tasty meal = My speciality.

fight efficiently = Hmm. No experience at any form of physical combat, and probably wouldn't do very well at it. I'd be more likely to use talk and negotiaton to avoid the situation. However, if diplomacy failed, I'd do my best tooth and nail bit to protect my family.

die gallantly = This is probaby what the tooth and nail bit would lead to. So I hope I would do so.

Addendum:-

Change a tire = Was all set to do it last time, but then couldn't get those gorram machine-tightned nuts undone, so had to call the big, strong AA man. Grrrrr.

Build a fire = Skill learned in early childhood, ressurected a few yers ago when we had an open hearth and a chopped-down tree.

Sew a shirt = Could do, but I prefer knitting. Could I knit a jumper instead?

Orienteer unfamiliar wilderness using a compass and topo map = Errr - yes, but we did get rather lost...

Navigate an unfamiliar city using a map = yes, as long as I'm not trying to drive at the same time. No problem on foot.

Hotwire a car = Hmmm. I think I rather prefer not to have this skill - can't think of many honest uses for it...

Grow a salad from seeds = Grow it, yes. Stop the slugs eating it first, no.

And a few of my own skills:-

I could make you a wooly jumper, starting with a sheep. Could even dye it with vegetable dies. But the spinning would be a bit lumpy.

I could bake bread starting with the corn - could even design a low-tech windmill to make the grinding easier.

I could make wine from just about any fruit or veg you have on hand, then go on to distill it to make moonshine, if that's what's wanted.

I could culture the yeast needed for the bread and booze from natural sources.

So do I get a place on the transport to the outer worlds, huh? Huh? I'd make a good colonist

*******************
Ruthie
*******************
By the data to date, there is only one animal in the Galaxy dangerous to man - man himself. So he must supply his own indispensable competition. He has no enemy to help him. (R.A.Heinlein)

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Monday, July 7, 2003 1:17 AM

KENWOOD

Quote:
Originally posted by Ruthie:

And a few of my own skills:-

I could make you a wooly jumper, starting with a sheep. Could even dye it with vegetable dies. But the spinning would be a bit lumpy.

I could bake bread starting with the corn - could even design a low-tech windmill to make the grinding easier.

I could make wine from just about any fruit or veg you have on hand, then go on to distill it to make moonshine, if that's what's wanted.

I could culture the yeast needed for the bread and booze from natural sources.

So do I get a place on the transport to the outer worlds, huh? Huh? I'd make a good colonist

/B]

Wolly jumper: Not a chance.
Bakeing Bread: I,ve done it from the flouer.
Wine & Shine: Can do but I prefer to ferment honey or sometimes maple syrup. Have some of each in the closet I need to decant off.
Cultureing yeast: Had to think on this. I could do it but but I don't know about the quality, most yeast used for this are from specific strains bread for millions of yeasty generations for specific qualities. I'd worry about the mother of vinegar getting in there too.

When we make that Firefly colony you got a spot.

Later,

ME.

Don't look back, som'thin' might be gainin' on ya.
Who let the pigs play poker?
Evo Shander was right!

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Monday, July 7, 2003 4:02 PM

PHILOMEL

Well, um, now I just feel incompetent.

Is it so wrong to eat cereal for dinner??? Is it???

And really, battling traffic on the Gardiner is like planning an invasion ... if you really think about it ...

For everything else, I firmly believe that the Great and Noble Bell drops the Yellow Pages into my lobby twice a year for a reason ...

Phil., who has never read Heinlein, and now feels way too insecure to try.

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Monday, July 7, 2003 6:57 PM

SIRENKAIN

I can say with complete honesty that I can do all of the above listed things. I will point out however there was no condition set to doing them well.

So I would not come over on Hog Slaughtering day unless you didn't mind a mess and an all day afair.

Morbid and creep-ifying I got no problem with.

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Monday, July 7, 2003 7:15 PM

SERGEANTX

Has anyone bothered to point out that this list was proposed by a character who was two thousand+ years old? Not like most of us have that kind of time you know?

In fact that was kinda the point of the book.

SergeantX

"..and here's to all the dreamers, may our open hearts find rest." -- Nanci Griffith

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