The secret to River's buttkicking abilities... by XeroGravity

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The secret to River's buttkicking abilities...

POSTED BY: XEROGRAVITY
UPDATED: Saturday, December 10, 2005 08:47
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Saturday, December 10, 2005 8:47 AM

River must have trained under Steven Seagal.

I've got it on good information that she has a supersecret daily regimen of dietary stuff that makes her buku superduperific in combat...

Lemme share the love.

First: She eats a bowl of that Mr. T breakfast cereal from the 80s.

Second: well... man cannot live on bread (or breakfast foods) alone... neither can labotomized psychic kungfu chicks. Need something to wash it down with?

I present to you the secret of her mojo...

http://www.xoxide.com/lightning-bolt-asian-experiance.html

Yes. Steven Seagal power drink. And I can vouch that it works. I was drinking a can of it and got jumped by ninjas. 100's of them. I managed to kick the crap out of all of them and not spill a single drop (never broke a sweat and my bouffant dictator hairdo still looked fabulous).

This is high-octane manfuel. A Buddha-licious blend of herb-y sounding cosmic botanicals sure to make you "oooh" and "ahhh".

Don't karate-chop hungry reavers without it.

XG

No such thing as gravity. The "Earth-that-was" just sucks.

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