Canonizing the Crew by christhecynic

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Canonizing the Crew

POSTED BY: CHRISTHECYNIC
UPDATED: Thursday, January 12, 2006 17:55
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Sunday, January 8, 2006 4:25 PM

For some reason the phrase, "Patron saint of lost causes," popped into my head. I think there is an actual patron saint of lost causes, but he (or she) didn’t come to mind, instead Mal did. So I was thinking of what saints the crew would be, this is the best I could come up with:

Mal Patron Saint of Lost Causes
Zoe Patron Saint of Warriors (and/or Loyalty)
Wash Patron Saint of Humor
Jayne Patron Saint of Pragmatism
Kaylee Patron Saint of Innocence
Inara Patron Saint of Sensuality/Grace (Either fits)
Simon Patron Saint of Medicine
River Parton Saint of Fractured Genius (Weak I know)
Book Patron Saint of Faith

I’m sure someone else can do better.

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Sunday, January 8, 2006 5:34 PM

STARBERRYGIRL

St. Jude is the patron saint of lost causes.

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Sunday, January 8, 2006 6:54 PM

NCBROWNCOAT

St George is the patron saint of soldiers
-he slew a dragon and all. Closely assoicated with Great Britain

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Monday, January 9, 2006 10:26 AM

CHRISTHECYNIC

Quote:
Originally posted by ncbrowncoat:
St George is the patron saint of soldiers
-he slew a dragon and all.

What a horribly useless thing to do. How could a soldier ever benefit from being watched over by a dragon slayer? They should be watched over by another soldier. At the very least someone who understood what it was like to kill, and risk being killed by, people.

-

So no one else has any suggestions as to what the crew should be saints of?

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Monday, January 9, 2006 10:46 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

Quote:
Originally posted by christhecynic:
Quote:
Originally posted by ncbrowncoat:
St George is the patron saint of soldiers
-he slew a dragon and all.

What a horribly useless thing to do. How could a soldier ever benefit from being watched over by a dragon slayer? They should be watched over by another soldier. At the very least someone who understood what it was like to kill, and risk being killed by, people.

So no one else has any suggestions as to what the crew should be saints of?

Maybe it'll help ya if you view the Dragon as more of a metaphore, and thus making the Dragon Slayer as one who bravely faces terrible danger....I dunno. Pretty much as with any soldier , it's understood that it's another soldier you'll be facing in the heat of battle.

" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "

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Monday, January 9, 2006 10:49 AM

SERYN

Mal, Patron Saint of Atheists

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"She's a mite whimsical in the brainpan."

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Monday, January 9, 2006 11:52 AM

CHRISTHECYNIC

Quote:
Originally posted by seryn:
Mal, Patron Saint of Atheists

I'm not sure about that, some things he says make me think he doesn't believe. Well actually most things. On the other hand there are times when I get the impression he believes in totality, and is pissed off.

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Monday, January 9, 2006 12:14 PM

SERYN

I was actually more interested in giving people who don't beleive in saints their own dedicated one.

Some one to follow them around and poke them occaisionally - seeing as the jehovah's witness's have disappeared from my area for some reason, I could do with someone to snark at.

Yeah, I get that impression about Mal, either he still believes and is pissed off by the fact, or he's really lost it, but deep down in the recesses of his soul he wants too.
Ultimetly what he has is more valuable - belief in those around him, the people (and the ship!) he loves.

Aw, Mal, Patron Saint of Firefly fans prone to squishiness.

Do we get to canonize Joss?

St. Joss of the Browncoats.

Is anyone bearing in mind that you have to perform 3 miracles then die in an unspeakably nasty fashion to become a saint?

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"She's a mite whimsical in the brainpan."

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Monday, January 9, 2006 2:49 PM

CHRISTHECYNIC

Quote:
Originally posted by seryn:
Is anyone bearing in mind that you have to perform 3 miracles then die in an unspeakably nasty fashion to become a saint?

Actually people are saints when alive, they just are not canonized until after they are dead. Unless Mormon.

I was thinking more along the Discordian idea for sainting* people. That is to say saint anyone, ignoring such things as miracles, or righteousness, or even existence.

But then thinking of serious categories to make them saints of.

But if you really require miracles I’ll see what I can do.

Jayne once hit a guy in the neck with a bent scope.
Zoe and Mal did the impossible at Serenity Valley.
River shot three people with her eyes closed and her back turned.
Wash pulled a Crazy Ivan followed by a full burn in atmo with Reavers in pursuit.
Kaylee set that up while shot.

Let me pause for a moment
Jayne, Zoe, Mal, River, Wash, and Kaylee each have one.

Ok, Mal, Simon and River each came back from the dead, that’s one each.
River defeated that room full of Reavers, more impressive than slaying a dragon any day, so she’s got the full quota.

Wash and Kaylee preformed a resurrection of a ship (ok I’m stretching, but it’s not like I have entire lifetimes to pull these from.)

I’m gonna take a break, but I’ll get back to it.

Right now the miracles sit at
Mal 2 (Did the impossible, returned from the dead)
Zoe 1 (Did the impossible)
Wash 2 (Crazy Ivan, Resurrected an ambulance)
Jayne 1 (Shot a guy in the neck)
Kaylee 2 (Crazy Ivan, Resurrected an ambulance)
Inara 0
Simon 1 (Returned from the dead)
River 3 (Returned from the dead, Shot three people with eyes closed and back turned, Slew a slew of Reavers)
Book 0

So that means I have 16 left to find, and maybe swap out some of the less impressive ones.

-
* Saint should be a verb, so "sainting" should be a word.

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Tuesday, January 10, 2006 6:00 AM

SERYN

k, just don't burst anything in the effort.

So we're sainting them, just not canonizing them, good, thats the terminology sorted.

I was worried then, I don't want Mal to die! Especially not in an unspeakably nasty way.

-------------------------------------------
"She's a mite whimsical in the brainpan."

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Tuesday, January 10, 2006 6:58 AM

DANIELFYRE

1 more miracle...River can ya know see the future...minor detail no one counted.

Simon's "cured" dozens (maybe hundereds) of people.

Yeah that's all I got.

-Dan

Ain't that just shiny?

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Thursday, January 12, 2006 3:23 PM

CHRISTHECYNIC

Quote:
Originally posted by seryn:
So we're sainting them, just not canonizing them, good, thats the terminology sorted.

It is good to have that sorted out, and I'd change the title of the thread to reflect it but I like the ring it has now.

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Thursday, January 12, 2006 5:30 PM

DONCOAT

Well, heck -- the tenth cast member (Serenity) got cannonized in the BDM, so why not the rest of them?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't disagree on any particular point.

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Thursday, January 12, 2006 5:55 PM

NEVERED

Quote:
Originally posted by christhecynic:
River Parton Saint of Fractured Genius (Weak I know)

River: patron saint of kickassitude

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