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Originally posted by SilverSamurai:

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Originally posted by LittleAlbatross:
Neat thread. What the heck... I'll play...

SF, 22, SW Ontario (Canada), politics student, likes Firefly (big shock, I know), most sci-fi, reading, movies, stuff... (writing this is harder than I thought it would be ). Kind of a shy Kaylee-type, or a not crazy River,
who is looking for a Simon-y, Wash-ish, Mal-like kind of guy.

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You're at Western? Wow...
We're not too far from each other...
(I only guess Western since you said London a few posts up)
(sorry about double post)

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Originally posted by BitterBierce:
But I am a genteel sort, so I have to ask instead: puppies or kittens? Me, I prefer kittens. They're so cute. We had two when I was with my great love: Pooter and SS GrupenFuhrer Steiner.

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Originally posted by BitterBierce:
I named only one of them, no prize if you figure out which.

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And virtually all of my friends, I seem to collect 'em. As Mark Steyn would say, "hmm".

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I'm gonna go wiiiiithhhh...Dolly. Seriously.

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I'm weird. But I'm guessing everyone already knew that. Heh.

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So...what does that say about YOU?

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Originally posted by LittleAlbatross:

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Originally posted by SilverSamurai:

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Originally posted by LittleAlbatross:
Neat thread. What the heck... I'll play...

SF, 22, SW Ontario (Canada), politics student, likes Firefly (big shock, I know), most sci-fi, reading, movies, stuff... (writing this is harder than I thought it would be ). Kind of a shy Kaylee-type, or a not crazy River,
who is looking for a Simon-y, Wash-ish, Mal-like kind of guy.

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You're at Western? Wow...
We're not too far from each other...
(I only guess Western since you said London a few posts up)
(sorry about double post)

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London and Guelph are pretty close...

Yep, I go to Western... does this make us rivals? What are you studying?

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Originally posted by BitterBierce:
Are you being slow on purpose?

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Freak.

Look lady, it's the rest of y'all that're nuts.

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A fine velvetty saneness carpets several of my internal mental structures. I don't dream day and night about building a harem and taking over the world and I don't know why you'd bring that up.

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Hey! I wasn't born stupid! I took lessons. I took them VERY SERIOUSLY.

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You take that back! NO ONE calls me a lady! Them's fightin words!

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That was again darn near poetical, BB...until that whole "don't know why you'd bring that up" part....

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Originally posted by BitterBierce:
Your name IS Gutterball, which one does not naturally associate with... although you are really smart so I'm sensing gutterball isn't announcing your social class.

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Well you see I was talking about sanity and so the implication was that since you really hadn't SAID any of it, that I was ins...uh, you know what? Nevermind.

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Aw, now sucking up won't get you anywhere

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The GutterBall comes from being terrible at bowling in high school. We went all the time, and no matter how much I loved it, I rarely got any better.

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You're crackin me up. For an admittedly big, crazy jerk, BB, you're an absolute RIOT!

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Originally posted by BitterBierce:
Sucking gets a girl a long way in my book. Up. Sucking up I mean. That too.

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Christ, even I want to slap me.

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It's too bad you live in another country (not-Texas, I mean). I'm all ten kinds of entertaining if a girl lets me.

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*snerks* I refuse to say a word. Especially not a pertinent word. Regarding sucking, ya know.

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Yes, a cryin' shame. However, I'm quite sure there's an even dozen kinds of entertaining, so I'll be eagerly awaiting the arrival of those other two kinds.

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You're still crackin' me up, and what's a little blow-job talk between folks several states away?

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Heheh...now everyone wants to slap ME

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Originally posted by BitterBierce:

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You're still crackin' me up, and what's a little blow-job talk between folks several states away?

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Needlessly frustrating to the male of the two, that's what. It's cute and fun and all, banter and such. But it ain't fucking.

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Jesus, I've only gone five days without and I'm already acting like a sailor after six months at sea. You're supposed to calm down as an adult when you're male, but I was never like this when I was 20. I don't remember thinking about sex all day every day when I was a young man. It's like I flipped on a switch or something.

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[G]I'm sorry, what was I saying?

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Aw, poor BB. Didn't mean to get your boxers in a twist.

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And I do pity that poor woman's ass. *grin* I'm sure I should probably feel a share of the guilt, as well, but...*shrug*...again, I have no shame.

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Despite my banter, I don't spread it around, and damn if it didn't take a good year until I didn't think about boinking in some form or fashion first thing when I lay down at night.

...Sorry. That's probably not terribly encouraging.

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Originally posted by BitterBierce:
When I talk to you, I'm thinking about sex...

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Why is someone kicking the puppy when I could be hitting the kitty?

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Originally by BitterBierce:

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And I do pity that poor woman's ass. *grin* I'm sure I should probably feel a share of the guilt, as well, but...*shrug*...again, I have no shame.

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Right as I was reading that I decided -in your honor- to do something extra painful and sinful to it. I always wondered how your sex manages to get to sleep when your rear end hurts that bad, much less walking and going to work.

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You didn't think I'd only have one infidelity, do you?

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I was the faithful type once, you know. Although neither of us cheated, I learned from her fidelity is for the birds. Get laid all you can, and get laid some you can't, too.

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Despite your slutty talk it was immediately apparent to me you weren't the type.

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When you crawl into bed you should be assured of someone crawling in on top of you.

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“I've always been the faithful type, and I don't expect that'll change much any time soon, but only because I'm so determinedly single. I don't date much, and when I do, I'm usually thinking about how to get out of the next date.

Kinda clashes with the occasional need to throw down and get with the makin' it, don't it?”

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“*grins* One of these days, you're gonna tell me how you can guess so much about me from my posts.”

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“Strangely enough, that's one of the nicest things anyone's said to me”

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“I do miss that part of sex almost as much as the rest. It's nice to be all crushed under someone. Cozy-like.”

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“Amusingly enough, none of my friends can get me to admit that I miss sex, and here I don't know you from Adam. Funny ol' world, ain't it?”

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Originally posted by BitterBierce:
Now I’m up in the middle of the night for no good reason. I can only sleep well when I’m getting laid. Or I take ten Vicodin ES.

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You’d better make your mind to get up and back in the game soon. In ten seconds you’ll be ten years older and ten years less attractive as a woman and facing loneliness a hugely different way than a young woman like you faces it.

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I almost withdrew, allllmost went your way when She Disaster happened. Something snapped and I just went wholly the other way...

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You’re 29 as of a few days ago, so I give you about two years, three on the outside to get out of that funk before biology makes that permenant decision for you. If you look like Carmen Elektra, I give you six years at the outside, but not a day over.

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Oh fuck. When did the laughs turn off? I promise, I will never again write a serious sentence.

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I’m smart as all fuck and fucking me always smarts, that’s why. I try to have others toot my own horn but gorrammit Mal, I fucking rock. I’m, what’s the word? Pretentious. Cock of the walk. Arrogant, you might say. But then, women don’t fuck the wallflowers.

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“Strangely enough, that's one of the nicest things anyone's said to me”

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Wow, your friends and lovers are pricks. I feel like I know them already.

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I think she (at 6’1”!) just liked that I was taller than she was and tall women especially like to feel small and feminine.

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The only truly odd sex is no sex.

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You know, you’re pretty smart and witty to talk to. You know, for a girl.

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Good Lord! So you HAVE been with a warrior woman! Heh, sorry...couldn't resist....

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You ain't lyin'. As of this moment, I'm nowhere near lonely. I'm not that type.

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No fair that my sex drive -- which was already pretty jumpin' for a woman, unless all other women are lying -- will kick in just as I'm getting old enough to truly stay single without anyone else bitching about it.

Does that seem right?

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*grin* I'd give me four-ish.

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I really am a no-maintenance kind of girl. It weirds guys out because it's exactly what they think they want. Half of the reason I don't date -- the other half being that I'm entirely too independent for my own good -- is because I know I'm exactly NOT what any man in his right mind wants. I don't cling. I don't want anything -- except the sex, of course. I don't cry. I don't pander. Just can't do the Little Missus thing.

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Well, then I've been having truly odd sex for goin' on five years now.

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Heh, there ya go makin' with the pretty again. If it were anyone but you, it would start to weird me out.

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Originally posted by SilverSamurai:

Yeppers, Not TOO far... (Not like Toronto and Vancouver, thats a drive!)
Ya I guess we are rivals and well all know how Mustangs are... hee hee
I'm in Arts, thinking of sticking around for honours and a minor... I don't know!!!
You're in Poli-Sci eh? How are you liking that?
Do you drive? hee hee

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Originally posted by BitterBierce:
Look for the sex drive you have at 29 to double every year for the next ten years, just to frustrate you on top of it all.

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*grin* I'd give me four-ish.

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My, we think well of ourselves, don't we? Would we like a mint julep with that ego? You know, I really didn't take any of the sex talk seriously, but I do suddenly have an urge to put you in your place.

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They say that, then ten weeks later its "why haven't you called, Jiiimmmyyy?" on the answer machine. Which, I do have to admit, is one of the more satisfying pleasures of my life. I LOVE upending women's little pretentions.

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You want to know the truth? There is no person so indepenedent or strong or smart they can't be floored by the opposite sex out of NOWHERE.

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With a bit o' luck, you'll be able to keep up that lie throughout your entire life.

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Not "I want sex but I'm not looking for it because I have a comfortable little life and I'm a little afraid of men", which is how I immediately interpreted your bravado.

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You know, I taught an entirely metaphysics free kind of martial arts...

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...but as I got better at it I did one learn one cosmic and universal truth: human beings are just one big pile of vulnerabilities. Flesh is weak, even when it's strong. Independence doesn't truly exist- which is a HUGE problem for someone like me who builds his identity around being independant. And you.

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Christ, I do so love the attack. Out-thinking, out-fighting, I do love a good brawl.

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Keep your frock on, it's not like I was trying to get in your pants or anything....waitaminute, yes I am. It's my default with any woman. Ok, then let's say I'm not trying to tug on heartstrings with a angel's harp or some emotional crap, ok? I think you're safe from me getting mushy, dear.

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You know, it occurs to me how full of crap my response is- I don't quite know how to handle your compliments and I'm avoiding responding to them, so it's not like I'm not doing the same thing you are. Pretending not to notice something that you're actually hyper-aware of, that is so...something. I can't quite find the word.

Human. Yeah.

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Originally posted by LittleAlbatross:

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Originally posted by SilverSamurai:

Yeppers, Not TOO far... (Not like Toronto and Vancouver, thats a drive!)
Ya I guess we are rivals and well all know how Mustangs are... hee hee
I'm in Arts, thinking of sticking around for honours and a minor... I don't know!!!
You're in Poli-Sci eh? How are you liking that?
Do you drive? hee hee

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Hey! I resemble that Mustang remark Just kidding!

I like poli-sci, I'm (hopefully) graduating this year with an honors degree. Then I'm going back for a year to complete a diploma in writing before applying to grad school. That's the plan anyway.

So what kind of arts classes are you taking? Is it visual arts or English or...?

Yeah, I drive...

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Originally posted by BitterBierce:
Quick note-

"Can't quite manage "Jimmy". You just don't seem like a Jimmy."

I'm not. Under any circumstances. It's one of those things women start doing that gets them kicked out of my bed and called a cab.

In fact, I have a rigid system for how familiar people can be for me: if you don't know me, my name is "sir" or "Mr. V__________". If you're familiar with me and we've known each other a while you may call me "James". But anyone below my age, you must keep calling me "sir" or "mr" no matter how familiar we are. The exception to this rule are women I'm doing, who may call me "James" or, if they're good and have demonstrated longtime proper obediance, "Jim". People familiar with me and over my age may call me "James". Longtime friends may call me "Jim". Permission to use the term "Jimmy" has been given to precisely two people in the entire Universe, my mother and father, who earned that right. If Jesus comes back from the dead tomorrow, He must call me "sir".

Online it's different. You can use my made up name or whatever comes up. You may NOT call me Jimmy, but it's not something I get upset about online if someone wants to insult me. I mean it's not like it's exactly genius provocation or anything
(people are real fucking brave when they're outside of the range of my mitts. Inside range, not so much). Here's an irony- people never speak to me in real life the way they talk to me online, but I speak pre-fucking-cisely like this to them.

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Originally posted by BitterBierce:
Quick note-

But anyone below my age, you must keep calling me "sir" or "mr" no matter how familiar we are. The exception to this rule are women I'm doing, who may call me "James" or, if they're good and have demonstrated longtime proper obediance, "Jim".

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I am SO calling you "Sir" from now on.

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Bond. James Bond

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Originally posted by Sikkukut:
Gutterball, Bitterbierce, we always hoped you kids would get together. Mayhaps you could continue your chat in a more private locale, so the rest of us lonely types can find each other's posts? Just asking, I don't mean to offend, and I'm certainly not sorry to have you around. You both make me laugh, except for Bitterbierce.

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Flesh is weak, even when it's strong. Independence doesn't truly exist- which is a HUGE problem for someone like me who builds his identity around being independant. And you.

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Originally posted by GutterBall:
That depends on the Sir. I have no will of my own. I will bow to his wishes in this and all manners.

*tries to look submissive*

*probably fails miserably*

Heh.

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Originally posted by Sikkukut:
Citizen, DaveShayne, in case you pop in again, just want to say that this thread was vastly more clever with you two around.

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Originally posted by Sikkukut:

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Originally posted by GutterBall:
*tries to look submissive*

*probably fails miserably*

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Made me snort. Out loud. At work. Blast you!

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Originally posted by erlee:
thats a lot of filler.

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Originally posted by Sikkukut:

Seryn, I also absorb accents. It's a wonderful thing to be able to do, but sometimes a very unfortunate thing not to be able to NOT do. English rose type, eh? Bah, too bad you're in freakin' England.

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Originally posted by seryn:
Gutterball - everything hurts from laughing, it is so refreshing to see you two. Oh god my sides hurt.

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I think i'm kinda like you about five years late, you keep saying things that I agree with, its uncanny.

But you kinda made me realise one little thing - i'm not afraid of that perfect guy coming along, infact, I think I eagerly await the glowyness and the pythonesque 'he's the one' finger pointing from the sky.

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I can see BB rolling his eyes, but you know what, I don't give a flying f***

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Oo, Gutterball, as a co-habitor with a Neo mastiff/Old English Mastiff/Great Dane cross, and a pure O E Mastiff, and being a woman apparently beloved of cat kind, be careful what you wish for! Acidic drool, eye-melting gas and all-invasive hair - it's often a comfort to have my cat glare at me.

But seeing as little dogs are so gorram insecure and yappy, go with Irish Wolfhounds or pure Danes - less hair, no drool (not the viscous carpet eroding stuff anyway)

Unfortunetly, the gas is ever present.

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Originally posted by BitterBierce:
"Ha - who's afraid of a little cradle robbing? Especially since the only man my age who's posted is our oversexed friend bitterbierce? (No offence BB, but I gotta insist on 50/50, in bed and out!)"

Aw that's ok sweetie, it's a special fun breaking in girlies with initially mistaken apprehensions that they run things, or even have a say in them. There are no women so happy and tamed as ones who began needing taming. Call me Petruchio.

Please, let's do this in an orderly fashion, people- feminist lynchers to the right, outraged SNAG slapfighters line up on the left, and we have an area for "scared" people to mill about making clucking noises in the hall. If you would please sign the guestbook on the way in.

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Originally posted by seryn:
I'm off to join Dave with that popcorn.

Dave: you may like this - a few years back there was a report in the Fortean Times, a troup of monkeys would regularly break into some big office in Japan and go around stealing cigarettes, then the alpha male would sit in the CEO's chair and smoke them. Got to the point where the monkeys were so common peoples just ignored them and carried on - real monkeys in your office!

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Of course, the numbers would be completely whacked - 100 guys to every 1 girl...

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*tries to look submissive*

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Which firefly character do you like better, Mal or Jayne?

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Reason I ask is that you are uncannily similar to a character in a novel that I'm writing (even in some superficial details, curiously) and I couldn't let this thread die without taking the chance to work out aspects of your psyche to the finest detail.

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