CAPTION 2 TIGHTPANTS #16: BIG DAMN BWAH! by TenthCrewMember

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

CAPTION 2 TIGHTPANTS #16: BIG DAMN BWAH!

POSTED BY: TENTHCREWMEMBER
UPDATED: Monday, March 13, 2006 19:49
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 14826
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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 11:37 AM

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Well this week's winner is a secondtime C2T winner! FLORALBUNNY is leaving her mark! Sorry, bad pun, but here is her votegetter!

Congrats! Now, as is popular with me, I like having the namesake in alot of these, so here he is again, Ol' Tightypanties his self:

Nathan: HEY YOU! Yeah, YOU! The fan in the 'Browncoat' t-shirt! Quit lookin' at my ass! BWAH!

Okay, let's see who can take Mal down in this Caption Tightpants Shootout!

BWAH!
TCM

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 11:43 AM

DRPAIN

Mal as Clint Eastwood: Do you feel lucky punk? Well do ya?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WWJD: What Would Jayne Do?

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 12:02 PM

ELOISA

Inara (OS): Mal, you already stabbed him...
Mal: Yeah, and?
Inara (OS): And punched him in the groin, and knocked his teeth out - and he broke his ankle trying to run away. Do you really have to shoot him?
Mal: Come on, 'Nara, he was dissing you...
Inara (OS): He only tripped over my dress!

***
http://forums.ffonline.com/forumdisplay.php?f=19
Creative Writing

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 12:32 PM

FITZ

Mal: Im about to do somethin' I shoulda done a long time ago...

Managing director of Fox: No, wait I can explain...

Mal: BLAM!

Men of Honour - This is something the captain has to do on his own...

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 12:36 PM

CHOLLETT

Mal does his best Constantine Maroulis pout behind his gun.

OR

Mal: "Best you just back away real nice and slow...."

OR

Mal: "WHAT?!? Brokeback didn't win? But...the cowboys...the western...sure they were sly, but still...how could they lose?"
*BLAM*

OR

Mal: "I swear if your caption touches unpleasantness I will END YOU."

OR

Mal gives a stern warning against giving him a bad caption.

OR

Mal does target practice with the Reaver remains.

OR

Mal: "3 6 MAFIA?!?!?"

OR

Mal (to academy members): "Maybe next time you'll remember to nominate the BDM for something, dong ma?"

OR

Anyone: "And the cat made-"
Mal: *BLAMMO!!!!!!!!!*

I'm babbling like a moonbrain.

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 12:45 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Quote:
Originally posted by CHOLLETT:

Anyone: "And the cat made-"
Mal: *BLAMMO!!!!!!!!!*

Okay, this just earned the first Honorable Mention for C2T! Congrats for making me snarf my cola!

Mal: Mercy is the mark of a good man... *BLAM!* ...guess I'm a monster...
Kaylee(OS): Told ya so!

OR

(for my friend)
Mal: Sly cowboys?!? SLY COWBOYS?!!? What, is Wiccy writing movies now? You just put that film back in the canister nice and slow now...

OR

Mal: If your hand touches remote, I swear by my pretty floral undies, I will end you!

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 1:00 PM

FREELANCEPILOT

Mal realized that it was only him and Mr. Rogers left in the Ultimate showdown, of ultimate destiny.

Wash: Yeah, but psychic? That sounds like science fiction.
Zoë: You live on a spaceship, dear.
Wash: So?

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 2:47 PM

SAMEERTIA

"SameErtia, you grab my buttocks one more time, and I swear by your pretty floral undies I will end you. Dong ma?"

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 2:55 PM

EARLYSUMMER

Mal: "Leave the Victoria Secrets catalog on the ground and walk away."

or

Mal: "If I hear one more comparison to Han Solo, the Wookie gets it"

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 3:41 PM

VETERAN

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Mal as Crocidile Dundee: "That's not a gun. Now this .... is a gun."

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 3:42 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

pardon me, my darkside is showing:

Jayne(OS): I won't get et! You shoot me if they take me!
Mal:
Jayne(OS): Augh! Get 'im off me!
Mal:
Jayne(OS): OW! Biting! Gorram boogey man is bitin' me! MAL!
Mal:
Jayn(OS, fading into the distance): MAAAAaaaaaaal! They're cuttin' me and *unziiiiip* AI YA! SHOOT ME MAAAAAALLLLLL!
Mal: Now that is how you betray someone, Jayne.

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 3:46 PM

SAMEERTIA

"So, Simon, you're awake, you're facing me. Kinda wishin' you was armed right about now."

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 5:03 PM

FLORALBUNNY

Gee, thanks for the votes! And there's my portrait, too!

Let's get more surreal. Weirder. More bizarre:

Captain Reynolds: I don't know who you are, Mr. Red-Haired Arm-Waving Man who keeps telling us how to live our story, but I swear to your God that if you leave any more of Inara's scenes on the cutting-room floor...

bun
-- bastards singed my turtle --
----- why's the rum gone? -----

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 7:19 PM

CUNNINGORANGETOQUE

MAL:"This sure ain't a barrel o' monkeys you're lookin at..."

OR

(Dukes of Hazzard style)
VOICEOVER:"Looks like somethin is about to go down in town. Looks to get interesting, with them Reavers up close and personal..."

OR

NATHAN:"SUMMER!!!"

OR

MAL:"LEEROY JENKINS!"

OR

MAL:"This is my very favourite gun. I call her Stacy..."

OR

MAL:"LEGGO MY EGGO!"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Creator of "THE OTHER SHINY CAPTION GAME"!
www.livejournal.com/users/the_zeppo01
Time for some thrilling heroics!
poor_noel2@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 7:27 PM

MATTCOZ

Simon: Hey, I'm unarmed!
Mal: Didn't you see the movie? I can shoot unarmed men now.
Kaylee: Now see, this'd be the perfect time for a swear-word.

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 9:06 PM

FLORALBUNNY

LOL, mattcoz!!!

Nathan: This is for whoever changed my hair for the movie. ('Cos FloralBunny liked the old "do" better)

bun
-- bastards singed my turtle --
----- why's the rum gone? -----

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 9:58 PM

AZTECHROME

Look, I'm Malcolm Reynolds, and I just want my gorram parking space. You got a problem with that?!?

-aztechrome

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 10:01 PM

AZTECHROME

OR...

Look, I'm Nathan Fillion. Can't you guys wait until I get inside for autographs. I just want my gorram parking spot!

-aztechrome

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 12:49 AM

MANTICHORUS

With preternatural ability, Mal picks out George Lucas in the audience.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 12:59 AM

SERENITYSLITTLEANGEL

Nathan: So, who gets the Oscar for Best Actor?
Hoffman (OS): You!!! Just... put the gun down... You're not Mal at the moment...

------------------------------------
20 conversions and counting!!!

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 2:47 AM

ZOOT

Quote:
Originally posted by Mantichorus:

With preternatural ability, Mal picks out George Lucas in the audience.

Just PERFECT!!!

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 2:48 AM

COSMICFUGITIVE

Quote:
Originally posted by TCM:

[img] [/img]

MAL: "Do you want to own this pistol? Well... You can't."

OR:

Mal objected to Jayne's taste in music, as it played on the new in-mule stereo.

OR:

MAL: "For the last time Jayne, I'm not naming my gun!"

JAYNE (Off screen): "Aw, come on Mal. I like the sound of 'Matilda'."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[img]

[/img]

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 4:33 AM

GAZERBEAM

Quote:
Originally posted by Fitz:

Mal- You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Fox Exec- What?
Mal- Oh, it's just something I ask all my prey. I just like the sound of it.
BLAM!

-------------------------------------------
"You think you know... What's to come... What you are... You haven't even begun."

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 7:08 AM

CITIZEN

Malcolm Reynolds bargain dentistry...

Or

Jayne(O/S): Mal, whadda ya mean 'Just like William Tell'?

Or

Mal: Now you must be asking yourself, did I fire twelve bullets or only eleven? Well do you feel lucky, do ya, punk?

Or

Mal: You lookin' at me. Are you lookin' at me? I don't see anyone else here, so you must be lookin' at me...
Inara(Entering): Mal, what are you doing?
Mal: Bwah!

And because it was so good I had to ~~rip it off~~ erm honour it:

Quote:
Originally posted by Veteran:
Mal as Crocidile Dundee: "That's not a gun. Now this .... is a gun."

Inara: Mal, that Reaver's got a Knife!
Mal: Sure, that's a Knife, but this ain't...

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
You should never give powers to a leader you like that you’d hate to have given to a leader you fear

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 7:17 AM

MATTCOZ

Quote:
Originally posted by Mantichorus:
With preternatural ability, Mal picks out George Lucas in the audience.

I don't get why so many people here are anti-StarWars.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 7:34 AM

RYCE

Mal: Okay, I'm lost, I"m angry, and I'm armed
Inara (OS): I told you we should have stopped for directions an hour ago

OR

Zoe (at the other end of the gun): Well, Cap'n, didn't think you were carrying my bullet along with Tracy's.

No power in the 'verse can stop me!

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 8:48 AM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Quote:
Originally posted by mattcoz:
Quote:
Originally posted by Mantichorus:
With preternatural ability, Mal picks out George Lucas in the audience.
I don't get why so many people here are anti-StarWars.

There is a difference between Anti-SW and Anti-Lucas. I love the original movies and the RPG(W.E.G. version) and many of the books. However Episodes I, II and especially III were nothing more than eyecandy to take our money. Vader is now a wuss, Windu dies a moron, and Jar Jar exists, all thanks to Lucas. Bad, bad Lucas. It may be his 'Verse, but unlike Whedon, he didn't do his fans service by wrecking the paradigm...but this is all for another non-fun-and-frolicy-captioning thread...back to the game!

Mal: You want to run my ship?! *click*
Jayne(OS): Ummm...no?

OR

Mal: Also, I can kill you with my gun.

OR, alternatively

Mal: Also, I can kill you with my dashing good looks.

OR

Nathan: BWEEEE! errr BWARRR! errr BWOO! errr uhhh BWOOPOOPDOOPSHEEDOO! uhh errr ah! BWAMALAMADINGDONG!
Joss(OS): *sigh* No wonder he's signed to do a "Slug" movie...

OR

Nathan was all alone after he took playing the BWAH! cardgame too seriously...
(Okay, so I'm shameless...we've covered this before! LOL!)

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 9:45 AM

OLDFOGEY

Quote:
Originally posted by Fitz:
Mal: Im about to do somethin' I shoulda done a long time ago...

Managing director of Fox: No, wait I can explain...

Mal: BLAM!

All y'all's captions are funny but I like this one best. It kinda resonates with me.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 9:56 AM

MATTCOZ

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
Vader is now a wuss, Windu dies a moron, and Jar Jar exists, all thanks to Lucas.

The most evil thing Anakin/Vader ever did was in Ep. III, so I don't see him as a wuss. Honestly, I was shaking.
Windu was killed by the Emperor, how does that make him a moron?
Jar-Jar... ok, got me there, no excuse. He wasn't that bad though.
You can disagree with some of his decisions, but you can't take away everything that he gave us. In a way, without him we wouldn't have Firefly.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 10:19 AM

ODDNESS2HER

"I believe you were asked to turn off the cell phone."

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 12:36 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Mal: Now THIS is a Force to be reckoned with.

OR

Mal: You're a disease, and THIS *click* is the cure.

OR

Mal: You burned it! You burned it all up! Damn you, DAMN YOUSE TO HELL!
Reaver(OS): Dude, what part of "Reaver" are you not getting?

OR

Mal: You think this is impressive? Wait until you see my real weapon!

OR

Mal: So, if I hit a guy at 500 yards with NO scope, I get to be a Saint too, right?
Shepherd(OS): Ahhh, it doesn't quite work that way...

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 12:40 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

The last thing a FOX exec ever lays eyes on.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 1:38 PM

REAVERINA1985RIVIERA

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Nathan's attempt at killing the fly that landed on the end of Sean's nose was later seen as a bit... excessive.

---------------------------------------------
How many Jaynes does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to try to put it in and another to find a bigger hammer.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 1:45 PM

REAVERINA1985RIVIERA

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Mal: Looks like I'm winnin' this here knife fight.

---------------------------------------------
How many Jaynes does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to try to put it in and another to find a bigger hammer.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 3:05 PM

CHOLLETT

Reaver (OS): "You cheated."
Mal: *click* "Pirate."

OR

Mal: "Everybody stay calm, we are taking over the ship!"
Victim (OS): "This ship cannot be crewed by 4 people. You'll never make it out of the valley."
Mal: "Son. I'm Captain Malcolm Reynolds." *Click* "Savvy?"

I'm babbling like a moonbrain.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 3:16 PM

MUTT999

Nathan: "You want how much for that comic with me on the cover?"

"That's the buffet table....."

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 3:36 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Quote:
Originally posted by Mutt999:
Nathan: "You want how much for that comic with me on the cover?"

Rutting hi-larious!

Mal: I don't think so, Tam.

OR

Mal: GUN! Beats rock, paper, and scissors every time...

OR

*click click click click click*
Jayne(OS): Did you even load the gorram thing?
*click click*
Mal: Well I am *click* pretty sure I *click* must be something wrong with the firing pin
*click click*
Jayne(OS): Great, so now I get et and then *BLAM!* ARGH!
Mal: I fixed it!...oops...

OR

Mal: Who's petty now?!?
Inara(OS): *gulp*

gosh this is a fun Caption Tightpants!

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 4:19 PM

CHOLLETT

Mal: "Okay, so here's how it is. This ain't gonna end well for you, but i will give you some choice in how this goes. You wanna see it coming or face the wall?"

yeeeugh. Morbid.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 4:20 PM

CUNNINGORANGETOQUE

MAL:"Know what your problem is? I'm too good looking."

OR

MAL:"See Two-fry, this is the barrel of the gun, where all the painful bullets shoot out of. Now THIS is the trigger, which--"

*BLAM*

MAL:"Oops."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Creator of "THE OTHER SHINY CAPTION GAME"!
www.livejournal.com/users/the_zeppo01
Time for some thrilling heroics!
poor_noel2@hotmail.com

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 4:36 PM

SHINY

Quote:
Originally posted by Mutt999:
Nathan: "You want how much for that comic with me on the cover?"

hee hee

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 6:38 PM

GUTTERBALL

Quote:
Originally posted by CHOLLETT:
Reaver (OS): "You cheated."
Mal: *click* "Pirate."

HA! Nice!

Ummm...I'm terribly unfunny at these, but hey. I get such a kick out of reading everyone else's!

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 7:00 PM

FLORALBUNNY

Yo ho ho, Chollett!

Mal: Monkey!

bun
-- bastards singed my turtle --
----- why's the rum gone? -----

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 8:15 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

or to put a Firefly twist on Bunny's:

Mal: Terrifyin' Space Monkey!

OR

Mal: llama llama llama llama llama llama llama llama DUCK! llama llama llama...

OR

Mal: Let's see here, Serenity Hunting List...got me a duck, a reaver, a lizard, 2 goldfish and wait...Llama? I don't remember seeing any--LLAMA! *BLAM!*

OR getting Matrixy

Mal: Dodge this!

OR

Mal: Gorram beagles may have smallish droppings, but man do they scurry about! Hold still gorram it!

OR

Mal: Check out my new train whistle! WHOOOOO WOOOOO!

OR

Mal: It's not polite to point. But it is fun, especially with a gun!

OR

Mal: Guns don't kill people...I do!

OR

Mal: Guns don't kill people, physics does! And failing that, I got me a reader who's got mood swings of a sort...

OR

Mal: NEVER! touch my browncoat...

and the fun is never ending!

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 11:16 PM

ANOBJECTINSPACE

Mal: We want you, we want you. We want you as a New recruit.

or

The camera man had to learn the hard way not to take Nathan's danish in the morning.

or

After careful and lengthy scrutiny Nathan realises that the gun is really the centre of the show.

or

The people at Fox didn't find Firefly appealing enough to the grotesque masses. To improve this Mal must now point with a gun and bullet.

or

Mal: Uncle sam eat your heart out!

or

Jewel: Oh my God Nathan! You just blew his head off.
Nathan: He drove me scooter.

or

After Mal's gun was found missing this photo was taken of Nathan pretending to be, what he called, a 'Big Damn Hero'.

or

Nathan just can't get enough of his mirror.

.....
"It's just an Object"

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Thursday, March 9, 2006 1:26 AM

MANTICHORUS

Quote:
Originally posted by mattcoz:
I don't get why so many people here are anti-StarWars.

Whoever said I was anti-StarWars? I'm a great fan of the SW extended universe...which is why I hate Lucas. He f*%^ed up everything written around SW with a bit of crap fanfiction.

JAYNE (o/s): "Mal, there's another heckler!"
MAL: "I see 'im."

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Thursday, March 9, 2006 2:42 AM

RYCE

Mal: So, Inara has typhiod, Kaylee was bitten by a rattlesnake and Jayne drowned when fording the river. Time to go hunting! Ooh, I just picked up 1,064 lbs of food from that one little buffalo!

No power in the 'verse can stop me!

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Thursday, March 9, 2006 3:55 AM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Quote:
Originally posted by Ryce:
Mal: So, Inara has typhiod, Kaylee was bitten by a rattlesnake and Jayne drowned when fording the river. Time to go hunting! Ooh, I just picked up 1,064 lbs of food from that one little buffalo!

Sweet! Oregon Trail reference! How weird is that?

Mal: No power in the 'verse can st--OW OW! HAMMIE! OW!

OR

Mal: Look Ma! I'm a "shooting star"!

OR

Even in 2517, road rage has the exact same look.

OR

Mal: Oota goota? OOTA GOOTA? I'll oota goota you, you green, scaley, sucker-fingered goon!

OR

This display had to be removed from the Firefly Wax Museum. Apparently it kept causing boyfolk to wet themselves, and caused all the womenfolk to, uhh...wet themselves...

well, it didn't take me long to degenerate again...

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Thursday, March 9, 2006 5:10 AM

ASARIAN

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Patience (OS): "Eh, ... or we could talk more?"

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Thursday, March 9, 2006 5:56 AM

RADAR

Heres my paltry attempts...

Mal: ok... patience... shoot at me again and I might start to take it personally.

or

Mal: Does this make my butt look fat?

or

Mal:I said FOCUS the camera!

or

Mal: Um yeah... I'm gonna need you to come in on saturday.... yeah, that would be great. oh and um... Those TPS reports... yeah...

or

Mal: Heeeeeeeerrrrrrreeeeessss Mally!!

or

Hey check this out, I improved on that look Zoolander taught me.

yup, mostly dumb. But I laughed anyways.

"There's no place I can be since I found Serenity..."

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Thursday, March 9, 2006 6:11 AM

Mal: Hey Jayne, does my gun barrel look clean to you?

Remember, Remember the fifth of November

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