Limericks! Post your Limericks by FutureMrsFIllion

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Limericks! Post your Limericks

POSTED BY: FUTUREMRSFILLION
UPDATED: Monday, October 15, 2012 14:34
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VIEWED: 21681
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Monday, May 1, 2006 5:05 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

There once was fff.net
Losing steam it hasn’t done yet
The fans are all clamouring
Universal they are hammering
For all the serenity their little hands can get

Zetta - takes one to know one

Zetta run over to Burma Shave and leave some roadsigns!

Emma - Excellent!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 5:12 AM

Ooh! Oooh! I just thoughta another one!

There's a story I'd like to persue
Of Niska's minion, who liked to go 'boo!'
He captures the good guys
And our Captain he half fries
But Mal got 'im, with help from his crew!

But this isn't getting my work done you naughty distracty people!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 6:51 AM

Ok, one more then I must get on with my work!

There once was a show dark and witty
Which was cancelled by people most shitty
Now I mourn for the loss
And I curse all at Fox
But it won’t die ‘cos it’s just too damn pretty!

Now please can the bad rymes stop zooming round by brain?!

Hmmm. Does anyone know the proper format of a Haiku?! On second thought, probably best not to encourage me!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 6:57 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Emma

You are good for at least another 24 hours of the "Limerick popping sensation". And unfortunately, it comes back as soon as someone posts another one

Now I have to go get a few out myself!

"shitty" oh that was too too good!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 7:00 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

There once was a spaceship called Firefly
Rather than leave her the Captain would choose to die
The bad guys came knocking
But their plan he was blocking
Because of Zoe his order did go awry

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Monday, May 1, 2006 9:13 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

There once was a scary old reaver
Who'd kill you with naught but a cleaver
Your skin he would wear
Make a shirt from your hair
For Reavers are very fine weavers!

I suffer from a disease.

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Monday, May 1, 2006 9:26 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

His footsteps Saffron was doggin
His attention her flesh was a'hoggin
Malcolm said how
No one handled his plough
A kiss landed him on his noggin

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Monday, May 1, 2006 9:46 AM

FMF, takes one to know one me? lol

Serenity wasn't so spiffy and new,
It was like a beat up, comfortable shoe,
But Mals heart took such flight,
It was love at first sight,
Now shes the 10 member of the crew

Z

I can't stop limerick signal

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Monday, May 1, 2006 9:48 AM

Said Was "we shall call it this land!"
With a dinosaur clutched in each hand
But the Captain was irate
'Cos his pilot arrived late.
I guess he just didn't undertand.

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Monday, May 1, 2006 9:52 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

It is scary to think of the mischiel we could create with the intelligence in this forum!

Emma, eveytime I see your name I start humming Eleanor Rigby.

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Monday, May 1, 2006 9:58 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
It is scary to think of the mischiel we could create with the intelligence in this forum!

Thanks! You should start arm army! We could all be your minions!

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:

Emma, eveytime I see your name I start humming Eleanor Rigby.

That's actually where I stole the surname from! Emma's my middle name and Emma Rigby has been my 'secret identity' since I was 6 years old and first heard the Beatles song! She was always a lot cooler than I am. She has in her time been a super hero, a witch, a mutant and a spacefarer! Ah, the fun we've had!!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 10:12 AM

Serenity's ever so sweet.
She takes the tenth crew-member's seat.
But always remember
The 'leventh crew member:
That's right, don't forget River's feet!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 10:49 AM

These lymerics are stuck in my brain!
They really are causing much pain!
My head is revolving
With the rhymes it keeps solving.
Please don't get me started again!!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 10:54 AM

So sorry to hear of your trouble.
Call the doc, he'll be here on the double!
He'll give you a shot
And as quick as a jot
You'll be out of that limerick bubble!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 11:17 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by sab39:
So sorry to hear of your trouble.
Call the doc, he'll be here on the double!
He'll give you a shot
And as quick as a jot
You'll be out of that limerick bubble!

Sorry, your advice didn't work
The doctor said I'm out of luck
He used his skull probe
To view my frontal lobe
And told me my brain has got stuck!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 12:08 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Its all part of my dastardly plan
Its the kind of girl that I am
get you all started
from your senses departed
no competition for Nathan the man.

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Monday, May 1, 2006 12:33 PM

Ahah! Your plan has backfired!
For he has told me my rhyming's inspired
'Cos he smiled at my verse
He has let me play nurse,
And now to his crew I've been hired!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 12:53 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

But to what will you be a nurse?
I have this plan completely rehearesed!
while you work and you toil
cleaning out Jaynes boil
you'll know that I've finished my curse

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 1:09 PM

I shall patiently wait for the time
When all parts of my plan fall in line.
With the luck this crew's got
Mal soon will get shot
And then, you poor fool, he'll be mine!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 1:17 PM

Now I am learning about scary.

This is just too much fun! I can't stop!

Now a tale about Mal I will tell:
He went to the one Special Hell.
He kissed his new wife
At the risk of his life,
And he misjudged why Inara fell.

There once was a man we call Jayne
Who wasn't well-known for his brain.
"If there's cash to be had
Then I say, 'Let's be bad!
Now I'm off to go rob me a train."

Now Jayne was a tough man, was he,
But he wanted the Mudders to see:
"What? Give you my pay?
There's no ruttin' way!
Ain't no heroes, just people like me."

There once was a heavy named Crow
And from Niska to Mal he did go.
Only threats he would say;
Now he's engine puree,
And the next thug in line can't say, "No."

Oh, one more for my favorite character!

Now, Wash is a hero for sure,
Complete with Hawaiian couture.
He soars like a leaf,
Though his captain's a thief,
Always up for the next crime du jour.

"We need to keep our heads so we can ... keep our heads."

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Monday, May 1, 2006 1:19 PM

What happened? He see your face?

Quote:
Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
I shall patiently wait for the time
When all parts of my plan fall in line.
With the luck this crew's got
Mal soon will get shot
And then, you poor fool, he'll be mine!

No need for you ladies to fight
A simple idea is in sight
If u are willing to share
And I'm sure cap'n won't care
he'll be available every other night

________________________________________________
U gonna be smart here Riva?!?

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Monday, May 1, 2006 1:51 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by pdcharles:

No need for you ladies to fight
A simple idea is in sight
If u are willing to share
And I'm sure cap'n won't care
he'll be available every other night

The truth to your arguement's clear.
If you could but make FMF hear.
If it's lovin' she's missin'
I'd be willing to split 'im.
I'd take the front, she the rear!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 2:04 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Now Emma, I'll have to be bold
Nathan's mine to have and to hold
But if you're really carin
I wouldn't mind sharin
As long as the Sequel is sold!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 2:08 PM

What happened? He see your face?

Quote:
Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
Quote:
Originally posted by pdcharles:

No need for you ladies to fight
A simple idea is in sight
If u are willing to share
And I'm sure cap'n won't care
he'll be available every other night

The truth to your arguement's clear.
If you could but make FMF hear.
If it's lovin' she's missin'
I'd be willing to split 'im.
I'd take the front, she the rear!

another option of which I "thunk"
does not require sharing your hunk
So if Mal doesn't show
and off with 'nara he goes
*Jayne enters*
I'll be in my bunk

________________________________________________
U gonna be smart here Riva?!?

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Monday, May 1, 2006 2:12 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

If Malcom my Mr should jilt me
Just tell the jury I'm guilty
Inara's head I would cosh
While she's sleeping by gosh
thats the truth and I tell you it shall be!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 2:13 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Now Emma, I'll have to be bold
Nathan's mine to have and to hold
But if you're really carin
I wouldn't mind sharin
As long as the Sequel is sold!

Okay girl, if that's how you feel
I agree to comply with your deal.
And until that fine day
In Jayne's bunk I shall stay
With yet one more man who is REAL!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 2:20 PM

There once was a Tam-- girl called River
Who with frozen hands head heart and liver
caught a lift on a ship
got swept up on a trip
a chance at new life it did give her

I thought of this on a motorcycle ride.

One day.
One mission.
One army of Browncoats.

On June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

http://serenityjune23rd.com/

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Monday, May 1, 2006 2:37 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Quote:
Originally posted by MildCinephile:

I thought of this on a motorcycle ride.

http://serenityjune23rd.com/

Then you are our kinda browncoat!

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Monday, May 1, 2006 2:39 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Emma, I just need to chime-in
If Jaynes bunk your gonna spend time in
With me that's okay
you go ahead and play
Til Nate comes I'll be with Simon

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Monday, May 1, 2006 2:55 PM

Wow! I go away for a few hours and this thread goes wild! I can't match the intensity of y'all's Battle of Lasciviousness, but I did finish my suite of limericks, one for each of the crew.

To be inserted between the Gina T. and Nathan F. ones on my last post:

"Oh, and dude, do you think," said Sean Maher,
"To loosen up Simon a hair,
In the BDM2
He could smoke a kazoo
In the buff with two babes and a bear?"

And Ron said, "Book's more than a Shepherd
Who gets caught up in gunfire and peppered.
Could be he's immortal,
Or he's found a time portal
To come back from the past less decrepit."

"In the next fight, Joss," said Adam Baldwin
"Could a big guy who's actually brawled win?
If the 90 pound girl
Wants to tussle and twirl
There's a bunk she might look good installed in."

"Oh, and Joss, don't you think if," said Jewel,
"We had stopped at some core world for fuel,
Where "'Verse Idol" was on,
And we sang, and I won,
We'd be still on Fox, up for renewal?"

Glitch

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Monday, May 1, 2006 3:01 PM

Okay, one more, though I think it could go on for several stanzas:

There once was a girl called Yo-Saff-Bridge-
Sal-NormaRae-Syb-Mo-Daph-Gidge-
Cat-Nat-Mat-Hat-
Hen-Jen-Pen-Pat-
Venus-Seree-SteffiGraf-Midge-

Glitch

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Monday, May 1, 2006 3:10 PM

SERVANTOFKUSHIEL

FMF and Emma, please don't get in a rutt
Fighting over Nathan is not what you want
You two can totally share
And I really won't care
As long as you let me pinch Nathan's butt;)

You guys all rock! I've laughed so hard at these I have to pee or I woulda wet myself.

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Monday, May 1, 2006 4:06 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

I'm tired and I must go bed
dreams of Nathan and me when we wed
I am not crazy really
I know I sound silly
My kids think I am sick in the head

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Monday, May 1, 2006 5:33 PM

Heh, before you got to posting these I came up with my own continuation of your series. Hope you don't mind. Seems to fit quite well with the fighting over the BDH's affections going on in this thread.

(disclaimer: I don't ship any particular pairings(*see footnote) and I certainly don't have any information to suggest the actors' real shipping preferences)

"Oh, and Joss," interjected Jewel Staite,
"I know this is a little bit late -
Not that Simon ain't cute,
But I love me a brute,
So with Jayne could I please have a date?"

"Wait a mo!" called out Sean Maher drily,
"I don't think that idea's very shiny!
I'm noble as a grape,
So don't let that man-ape
Get the girl! Go on, Joss, stick with Silee!"

"Now there Sean, don't you get in a funk,"
Adam said, "just cause your ship has sunk.
Jewel's idea, for sure
I could stand to hear more:
Me and Kaylee? I'll be in my bunk!"

(*footnote: I don't ship because I trust Joss to do interesting and sometimes unexpected things with his characters and I don't want to second-guess him, but I do prefer Silee a little for purely selfish reasons - Simon is the character most similar to my own personality and I want Kaylee for myself

)

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Monday, May 1, 2006 9:37 PM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

All these limericks are too gorram funny!
They've certainly made my mood sunny
The talent we have here
Is entertaining and clear
It's too bad we can't turn it to money!

Now, let's see how I do here...

There once was a fellow named Malcom
who took all he was able and then some
bitter 'bout his defeat
he flies by his seat
an honorable thief; and quite handsome!

There was a young genius named River
she absorbed all the world had to give 'er
she was taken and probed
they messed with her lobe
now her oddness makes everyone shiver

A gorgeous amazon is our Zoe
a warrior who is sleek but not showy
her dresses are slinky
she can kill you with her pinkie
quite sexy and bad-ass is Zoe

A skillful, calm pilot is Wash
tricky flying just makes him "tish tosh"
he'll do a 180 turn
going full burn
and makes everyone laugh with panache

That's all I can think of right now, but I can feel others forming so hopefully I'll post those in the near future.

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Monday, May 1, 2006 10:21 PM

Jayne's mum had a little lamb,
Its fleece was kinda orangey,
So she made it into a bobbly hat,
And some lowlife once cast aspersions on her knitting skills,
Shortly before Vera went full rock and roll.

(I'm beginning to come round to the notion that verse has never intruded on my 'verse...)

G

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Monday, May 1, 2006 11:57 PM

Oh my god, this game's still at full steam
And all done with a Firefly theme!
I'm impressed at the genius
That we share between us!
It's a cool place to be, it would seem!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 1:02 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

There was a young doctor named Simon
who left home and comfort behind 'im
to rescue a sis
lost in the abyss
so now they hide out on the rim

Great mechanic is young Kaylee Frye
her skill keeps it all in the sky
finally hooked her a man
by the name Simon Tam
she thinks he is really quite swai

Jayne's a good man to have in fight
though he don't always know what is right
sometimes he is scary
he likes to make merry
and is subject to moments of spite

(meaning no disrespect to Jayne, love him dearly. C'mon, though, you know it's true!)

That's all I can think of at present
this has been very shiny and pleasant!
but my capacity for rhyming
is slowly declining
my brainpan's all tired and spent!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 1:11 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
That's all I can think of at present
this has been very shiny and pleasant!
but my capacity for rhyming
is slowly declining
my brainpan's all tired and spent!

He, he! Must stop soon, but just wanted to say:

FFF.net's a really cool place
That houses a swinging fan base.
Have you seen Blue Sun Room?
If not, go there soon!
Their talent puts me to disgrace!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 3:26 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Emma and I just had to digress
With wit, each other we tried to impress
Now don’t get me wrong
Though this thread gets quite long
It was created to help relieve stress!

On Serenity, the dinner is processed protein
Which explains why the cast stays so lean
A fine little treat
Would be salad and red meat
And I think we could throw in some string bean(s)

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 3:37 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Emma and I just had to digress
With wit, each other we tried to impress
Now don’t get me wrong
Though this thread gets quite long
It was created to help relieve stress!

B]

Sorry for the one-up-man-ship
Didn't mean to make anyone flip!
It's all been good hearted
But, since you got me started,
Can you teach me to button my lip?

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 3:40 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

I am sorry I can not comply
For to stop would be living a lie
The rhymes come so easy
Though some admittedly cheezy
It helps keep our wits oh so spry!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 3:44 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
I am sorry I can not comply
For to stop would be living a lie
The rhymes come so easy
Though some admittedly cheezy
It helps keep our wits oh so spry!

But I really must break from this habit.
I'm getting odd looks now, dangnabbit!
You should hear what they say,
As I rhyme through the day!
If there was a cure I would grab it!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 3:52 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Quote:
Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
I am sorry I can not comply
For to stop would be living a lie
The rhymes come so easy
Though some admittedly cheezy
It helps keep our wits oh so spry!

But I really must break from this habit.
I'm getting odd looks now, dangnabbit!
You should hear what they say,
As I rhyme through the day!
If there was a cure I would grab it!

Don’t let the "naysayers" compell you
Live your life, do what you have to
While they can be quite terse
We live in the 'verse
And they never will come round to our view!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 4:16 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Mr Universe married his Love Bot
I wonder what wedding presents they got
For himself a new screen
For the wife valvoline
But I don’t think they really got a lot

Malcolm Reynolds is kinda cranky
He had to sutff his nose with a hanky
He and YoSafBridg came to blows
Blood did stream from his nose
The crew laughed, they don't care what his rank be

I still think it can be quite funny
How Jayne acts when it comes down to money
He turned River in
So she said without grin
I can kill you with my brain, honey
(I take poetic license!)

Angered Jayne sat up with a start
I ain't a girl, I'll show you my man part
And then with a cry
He went for his fly
I'd stop him, but I don't have the heart!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 5:56 AM

Book brought Inara a food plate with peppers,
She asked "Here for a sermon?" He said "Never"
Said he only brought food,
But had two sermons quite good,
One with hell, brimfire and lepers

Z

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 5:57 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Slither was really quite funny
As always Nathan played such a honey
The part I liked the most
Was really quite gross
I hope for his sake it makes a lot of money!

Firefly, they said, is a flop
In the ratings it's not at the top
They ran it out of turn
Any chance they did burn
We'll sub a hit "reality show" from the crop

Cancel Firefly they said, whats the harm(a)
They just couldn't understand its charm(a)
I really don’t mind
Cause I think that they'll find
They now have to deal with their Kharma!

I love Serenity
Its really where I want to be
Life on the run
Sure looks like fun
I wonder if they will invite me?

It really is quite distressing
Flans on threads, lack of faith are confessing
I say just wait
Hold on to your fatih
Universal we can’t be second guessing!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 5:59 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Malcolm, said Inara, don’t call me a whore
If you do it again you are just a big bore
You say it to my face
But with Atherton find disgrace
What's the difference, or are you trying to score?

I CAN"T STOP! ARGGGGGH!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 6:09 AM

River decided to fix Books Book,
A bunch of worn pages she took,
Said "Theres no sense to its sayins,
Shows theres no need for praying,
Don't believe me then just take a look."

Z

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 6:22 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

River is stressed to the max
Those reavers should be wary of her axe
She'll slice and she'll dice them
And put an end to their mayhem
Her energy will hardly be taxed

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