Funniest thing you have ever seen on TV or in a movie by est120

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Funniest thing you have ever seen on TV or in a movie

POSTED BY: EST120
UPDATED: Sunday, May 7, 2006 19:55
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 18914
PAGE 2 of 2

Thursday, April 27, 2006 8:48 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
Dood. Great call on BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. An absolute favourite of mine. I love the whole supposed hero speech he gives when they are preparing to go in:

"So ok you stay here, hold the fort keep the homefires burning... If we're not back by dawn... Call the president!"

I love Kurt's unseemly nature when he says "Chinese girl, all right, I never done that."
Or:
"It's all in the reflexes."
That flick's full of 'em!

The check's in the mail Chrisisall

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, April 27, 2006 8:56 AM

CHRISISALL

My biggest laugh was probably when Buffy said to the demon "Wanna see my imitation of Ghandi?" Then she struck the guy dead. Her friend looked at her as if to ask a question, and Buffy followed with "You know, if he was really pissed."
Gets me every time.

Miss the old days when you and Zoid posted more often, Mal.

Raise you hand if, 'Eeewwue' Chrisisall

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, April 27, 2006 9:13 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER

Gene Wilder pulls the hood off Clevon Littles head so he can ask, "Where are the white women?"
Okay, so pretty much all of Blazin' Saddles killed me.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, April 27, 2006 12:31 PM

OURMRSWASHBURNE

Madeline Kahn as Lili von Schtupp in Blazing Saddles - when she does her song "I'm Tired".

Tim Curry as Wadsworth the Butler in Clue when he's doing the run-through of what's happened so far in the movie.

Mal: "With a s-what?" in Shindig.

Spike watching Angel from the roof. "I'm almost out of the nancy-boy hair gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile! Away!"

Faith, as Buffy, telling Spike "It's wrong." Gets me every time.

Alan Rickman as the Sheriff in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. "You! My room, ten minutes. You, ten minutes later! Bring a friend!"

Miracle Max's wife Valerie in the Princess Bride, when she chases him round the hut going "Humperdinck! Humperdinck!"

When Wesley Snipes (as Noxzeema Jackson) plays basketball in To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar.

When Alan Tudyk jumps out on Vince Vaughn in Dodgeball. "Steve be a bit short for the rent this month! Yarr!" That whole bit. And the bondage coat. :)

When Mal says to Jayne, "The days of me not takin' you seriously are comin' to a middle."

Wash doing the first dino bit. You know. The "this land - betrayal - die! - arrrrgh" section...

Too many bits of A Knights Tale to mention. But mostly the bit when Wat sits up, half asleep, and shouts "Tansy Cakes!" and the bit where Chaucer gets called Master Nude by Roland. And when Roland describes William's tunic to the maid Christiana. And... :)

Oh, and Alan Cumming in X Men 2, when he says "I am Kurt Wagner. But in ze circus zey called me ze Incrrrrrredible Night Crrrrawler..." - it's not funny in itself, but after my friends have repeated it a dozen or so times, it gets me sniggering for some reason...

Mrs W

ETA: I forgot. Joss as Numfar, in No Place Like Pltz Grb (or whichever one it was) doing the Dance of Shame. I nearly died laughing. I love that bit.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, April 27, 2006 2:32 PM

PERSEPHONE736

O my gosh, there are too many! Let's see, anything Monty Python, specifically the Holy Grail- the coconut scene is the best! Also anything Mel Brooks- I nearly died the first time I saw the Puttin on the Ritz scene from Young Frankenstein

A lot of mine have been mentioned already...let's see...Princess Bride- the whole Miracle Max scene and right after when they bring Wesley back to life and his head is flopping around. Ace Ventura's impression of a dolphin (it's been awhile since I've seen it but I remember laughing for at least ten minutes straight). And last but not least- Zoolander, the whole thing is hilarious!
EDIT: I can't believe I forgot Firefly! You all know the good scenes- I won't bore you with a list.

Link to current Firefly Fit Club weekly thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=20090
Link to original Firefly Fit Club thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=18971

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, April 27, 2006 3:55 PM

RMMC

Quote:
Originally posted by OurMrsWashburne:
Tim Curry as Wadsworth the Butler in Clue when he's doing the run-through of what's happened so far in the movie.

Dang! I forgot Clue! I love that bit. Tim's just so frenetic. ("To make a long story short..""Too late!")

You also made me remember another one from "Angel"...Lindsey and his 'evil hand' at the W&H board meeting.

****
RMMC

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, April 28, 2006 1:06 AM

RHODRI

Quote:
Originally posted by OurMrsWashburne:
Spike watching Angel from the roof. "I'm almost out of the nancy-boy hair gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile! Away!"

I forgot that!! Shiny!!

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, April 28, 2006 7:36 AM

JPSTARGAZER

Well the whole movie Hot Shots Part Deux is funny, but one line really gets me (probably not 100% accurate, but it'll get the point across):

(Pointing on globe) "And then we strike!"
"Sir, that's Minnesota."
"Dammit, man. That's the genius of my plan! We'll fly them over here, their families too. We can teach 'em how to ice skate..."

I loved the line in Wedding Crashers when Owen Wilson tells the joke after the discussion about the two rich families being joined through marriage (I think I was one of 3 people who laughed at this joke, I don't know why):

"And then you can challenge the Klingon Empire for interstellar domination."

And as far as TV, in Clerks the animated series (yet another good show that was cancelled) when the jury's deliberation was replaced by japanimation...it just came out of nowhere.

"All I got is a red guitar, three chords, and the truth...the rest is up to you"
--Bono

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, April 28, 2006 3:57 PM

CAT1620RD

one in the Simpsons were the guy is robbing Apu (again) and Apu pushes a button and it announces throughout the store "Silent alarm activated"

also a scene in Family Guy were he is talking to the pirate who has all wooded limbs-
Peter- so did you get in an accident or something
Pirate- no, me father was a tree

Scary movie three when a kid throws a bunch of crayons at the door and Brenda says "now who the **** did that!!"

oh and of course-
Willow- ...B-I-T-C-H
Giles- I think were all a little too old to be spelling things out
Xander- A Bitca?

It's a real burden being right so often.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, April 28, 2006 4:16 PM

CAT1620RD

Quote:
Originally posted by jpstargazer:
Well the whole movie Hot Shots Part Deux is funny

oh I love that movie too! I like the whole white picket fence scene..."but its private property"

It's a real burden being right so often.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, May 2, 2006 10:04 PM

SINGATE

I just thought of another one while at work today so figured I'd bump this back up. The movie Parenthood is a great comedy, Steve Martin has a ton of funny scenes, but the show stealer is delivered by Clint Howard.

Martin is coaching his son's little league team and decides to boost his confidence by letting him play at a crucial moment. His son drops a pop fly causing the team's defeat. Howard, who is a parent of one of the other kids, goes completely berserk. "HE HAD NO BUSINESS BEING OUT THERE!...NO BUSINESS!...NOOOOOOO!" This scene perfectly illustrates how parents mess up children's athletics.

_________________________________________________

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:07 AM

MILFORD

I'm going ot bracet out Joss Whedon shows which are hilarious and MASH because it could go down as the wittiest show in TV history, as well as the Serenity movie and a few Ben Stiller shows that tickle my funny bone and say:

The funniest thing I have ever seen on TV is on an episode of Daffy Duck where he's a fancy cowboy and his sidekick is Porky Pig. Daffy races into town to collect the outlaw and when he finds him in the saloon he brandishes his pistol and says:

Reach for the sky, hombre!

Now, that doesn't seem very funny, but he pronouces "hombre" like "home-burr." Kills me just thinking about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customizeable handmade baby gifts personalized by my wife! Check them out at www.baby-bobo.com. All proceeds go towards international adoption.

JUNE 23RD: Take part in our assault on Universal. Commit to buy a copy of Serenity or Firefly, or both, and write a letter to Universal, Joss, and the rest of the BDH's and let them know what we want!

Leaning into the wind that used to carry me-Stavesacre

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 10:24 AM

REGINAROADIE

There are sop many different things that I've seen in various movies and tv shows that it's almost impossible to list them all. I'm just going to with the ones off the top of my head.

Any KIDS IN THE HALL sketch with Dave Foley or Kevin McDonald in it. The two of them together or by themselves are the absolute funniest sketches in the whole series. The "Pit of Ultimate Darkness" is a favorite of mine, but I also like the "Office Submarine" bit where Kevin keeps going "Office...submarine" and the last line. "You are the enemy of imagination. People like you think that poems have to rhyme, or songs half to have a catchy melody...that a comedy sketch has to have an ending." And then gives this weird look to end before the credits roll.

Or two great GOB moments in ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. One was when he was trying to throw the envelope into the sea, and the other was during George Sr.'s funeral with his "coffin trick". Actually the whole episode "Good Grief" was one of my favorites.

Of course, the scene in a movie that made me laugh the hardest as in "jaw dropping to the floor, I can't beleve they got away with this" was the reveal in CLERKS that Catilin had inadvertently fucked a dead guy in the bathroom. I'm hoping that CLERKS 2 has a scene similar to that.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"There's only one "Return" ok, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Jedi."

"Maybe we should start calling your friend 'Padme' because he loves 'Mannequin Skywalker' so much, Right? (imitating robot) Danger...danger...my name is Anakin...my shitty acting is ruining saga."

Excerpt of internet teaser for CLERKS 2.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 7:01 PM

FALLENANGEL

Anything byt Kevin Smith. Especialy Mallrats and Clerks. I love those movies.

Clerks
[after losing a hockey ball from the roof]
Dante Hicks: "Are there any balls down there?"
Jay: "About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!"

Randal Graves: "People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl 'Mom'."

Randal Graves: "Why don't you join her and make a little bathroom bam bam?"
Dante Hicks: "I love your sex talk. It's so kindergarten. "Poo poo". "Wee wee". "
Randal Graves: "Fuck you."

Mallrats
Brodie: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega."

Brodie: "You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit?"

Brodie: "You're giving up? You? You used to be stand-up guy, what happened to him? The guy who punched Amanda's gross-out mother after she called him 'low class'. "
T.S. Quint: "That wasn't me. It was you."
Brodie: "Oh, yeah."
T.S. Quint: "And it wasn't her mother, it was her grandmother."
Brodie: "No wonder the bitch went down so fast."

Brodie: "Hey, look at that ring. What is that?"
Jared Svenning: "That is, um, my Junior College class ring. Cum Laude, '69. "
Brodie: "I also hope to cum loud one day, preferably in a 69."

I have never laughed so hard during this movie. I love Brodie! God I love this movie.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, don't walk. We're in their homes and in their heads and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 7:07 PM

FALLENANGEL

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 7:27 PM

KHYRON

I can't believe nobody has mentioned anything by Mystery Science Theater 3000 yet. I haven't seen too many episodes, but most of the ones I did see were hilarious!

Devil Doll:
"England, the land of jug-earred, chinless stomach-eaters." "Well, at least they aren't French." -Tom Servo/Crow.

Riding with Death:
"For some reason, this film was a hit with elderly black women and Hispanic lesbians." -Mike.

Revenge of the Creature:
"Now stand up" "And...evolve!" -scientist/Tom Servo (as scientist talking to chimpanzee).

Space Mutiny:
"A severely retarded jellyfish could make a better movie than this." -Tom Servo.
"Get a bunch of women together and it's always witchery or a wedding shower." -Crow.
"I think it's very nice of you to give that dead woman another chance." -Crow (as 'Sting', after a woman that was killed appears in the very next scene).
"You know, they shouldn't have set their phasers to miss." -Mike.

The Pumaman:
"Soundtrack by my little brother's Casio." -Crow.

And many other great lines. Ahh, good times...

Other people can occasionally be useful, especially as minions. I want lots of minions.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, May 4, 2006 1:26 AM

DOWIE100

Jaynestown full stop.

Also Faulty Towers "The Germans" such a funny episode.

"you started it!"
"No We didn't YOU invaded Poland"

Lol classic episode, anyone else like Faulty Towers.

"You can't take the sky from me"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, May 4, 2006 1:31 AM

RHODRI

Quote:
Originally posted by Dowie100:
Jaynestown full stop.

Also Faulty Towers "The Germans" such a funny episode.

"you started it!"
"No We didn't YOU invaded Poland"

Lol classic episode, anyone else like Faulty Towers.

"You can't take the sky from me"

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, May 4, 2006 2:29 AM

AUSSAY

Pretty much every episode of Futurama

Series 4 & 5 of the Simpsons ("The Frogurt is also cursed")

The Osama Bin Laden outakes bit in Family Guy.

The bit where Stewie is in plastic ball and then he has a flashback of an old Seasame Street pinball scene in Family Guy

All of Anchorman

The Rex Kwan Do bit in Napoleon Dynamaite

As mentioned before Fawlty Towers and 3rd Rock from the Sun (especially the episode where Dick takes up smoking)

"Merman *cough cough* MERMAN!" from Zoolander

'Stonehenge' in Spinal Tap

Tim Curry in Clue

Series 1 of 'Little Britain'

One day.
One mission.
One army of Browncoats.
On June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.
http://serenityjune23rd.com/

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, May 4, 2006 3:06 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST

Just about anything in Bad Santa

That film split my sides - sooo wrong yet funny for it.

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, May 4, 2006 1:17 PM

DC4BS

Wow.

All these posts and noone mentioned the classic:

'Murder by Death'

It's MUCH better when seen with a large group of good friends... Laughter is contagious. We had to pause it several times when we watched it in my dorm room at school so people could breath (about 10 of us packed in cause we had the biggest TV).

Loads of great actors and great lines.

"Now, come back for honorable father!"

"Oh, don't mind that. It's just the cat."

"Good God! Gas!"
"I'm Sorry"
"No, I mean the deadly kind!"
"Well, Sometimes I..."

"What, you had bunz and you did not tell me!"

"I'm a Belgie, NOT a Frenchy!"

"Nobody move till I get back! Sometimes I talk so much I forget to go..."

At least half the lines in the movie are quotable.

PURE GENIUS!

------------------------------------------
dc4bs

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, May 4, 2006 2:24 PM

AMYLISAI

The Court Jester is definitely my favorite funny movie! I've seen it dozens of times since childhood--so usually I start laughing before the jokes because I know they're coming. It's totally appropriate for all ages as well, you can show it to your family. It's got Danny Kaye, Basil Rathbone as the villian (he played villians in many Errol Flynn movies that the Court Jester satirizes, so it's even more cool) and Angela Lansbury when she was young and beautiful. My mom first saw The Court Jester when she was pregnant with me. She laughed so hard, gasping, rolling on the floor, that my father ran in thinking she was going into labor!

Enjoy, Amylisai

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, May 4, 2006 2:43 PM

PLATINUMMONGOOSE

There's a great dark comedy called Eulogy, starring Zooey Deschanel, Hank Azaria, Ray Romano, Rip Torn, and quite a few others. The majority of the movie has you laughing fairly consistently all the way through, but not too many side-splitters until the end, when I thought I was going to DIE laughing. I won't spoil it, though, so go rent it. Go! Rent! Rent I say!

Also, the beans around the campfire sequence in Blazing Saddles should satisfy everyone's inner eight-year-old for eternity. :D

Does stand-up comedy count? 'Cause I'm a stand-up addict. Eddie Izzard is a god, Patton Oswalt and Lewis Black are awesome. Zach Galifianakis has the best deadpan one-liners:
"My brother has ADD which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by his shoelaces."
"I like to sit in public places and read the bible, and occasionally just laugh and say 'Oh, bullshit!'"
and my personal favorite: "I like to go to the Olive Garden alone on a Saturday night and have the waiter sing me the Happy Birthday song... and just sit there and cry."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, May 4, 2006 2:57 PM

REGINAROADIE

Just to keep the Kevin Smith thing rolling, here is at least one moment from the remaining flicks not mentioned. I'm limiting myself to one to save time. I could very well post their entire screenplays.

CHASING AMY

Holden: (long lead up to this) You're in love with me.
Banky: (blank look on his face, then realizes) What?
Holden: You're attracted to me. Just as I am, kind of, attracted to you. I mean, it makes sense. We've known each other for so long, we have so much in common.
Banky: Well, I better get going. (gets up) Gotta catch the last couple minutes of "Little House".
(Holden kisses Banky. Eyes bug out, jaws drop, Banky's back on the couch)
Holden: It's something you're gonna have to live with. And that would explain your jealousy of Alyssa, your homophobia, you're sense of humor.
Banky: Jesus, just because a guy has a predeliction towards dick jokes...

DOGMA

Jay: You're breaking up with us? (pause) WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, LADY!!! YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND AND BREAKING PEOPLE'S HEARTS. I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU, WE FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU. GUYS LIKE US JUST DON'T FALL OUT OF THE FUCKING SKY, Y'KNOW!!!
(A loud scream and a body falls to the ground. Bethany turns around. As the smoke clears, a naked black man is lying on the ground)
Jay: BEAUTIFUL, BIG TITTIED WOMEN JUST DON'T FALL OUT OF THE SKY, Y'KNOW!!!

JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK

Fred lookalike: Let's kick 'em out. We got a mystery to solve.
Shaggy lookalike: The only mystery here is why we keep taking our cues from a dick in a neckerchief.
Frd lookalike: Keep it up, beatnick. I'll feed you to the fucking dog!!

JERSEY GIRL

[after talking to Gertie, after finding her with Brian without their pants on]
Ollie: Do you have any questions about what you saw?
Gertie: [thinking hard] Do you have what Brian has?
Ollie: Yes.
Gertie: [after thinking hard again] Is it as big as his?
Ollie: Sadly, yes.
Gertie: Can we rent a movie?
Ollie: (Quickly) Yes.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"There's only one "Return" ok, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Jedi."

"Maybe we should start calling your friend 'Padme' because he loves 'Mannequin Skywalker' so much, Right? (imitating robot) Danger...danger...my name is Anakin...my shitty acting is ruining saga."

Excerpt of internet teaser for CLERKS 2.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, May 4, 2006 3:04 PM

AMYLISAI

Firefly fans have such good taste--it's been a pleasure reading through the funny memories here and thinking "on yes, loved that one!"

How about, funny things seen online?

An insipid song by a Romanian group reached international fame by being repeatedly parodied online. First check out the original music video here:

http://joi.ito.com/archives/2005/01/18/ozone_madness.html

Take a look at some of the parodies. Then, watch my favorite one:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1012239895370754726&q=LEGO

Some people have too much time on their hands--but thank heavens for us 'cause they're hilarious!!

Cheers, Amy

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, May 4, 2006 3:09 PM

FIREFLYFOREVERX7

I love Fawlty Towers!! One of my favorite shows. But my favorite part was in the second episode, I forget where it's called, when the door to the dinning room "disappears" and Basil is told: "Dont panic! Dont panic!" and he screams: "What else is there to do?!?!" lol that whole episode I was laughing so hard I was crying. Nice to find another Fawlty Towers fan :-)

CAROlYN*

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, May 4, 2006 8:56 PM

FALLENANGEL

Quote:
Originally posted by reginaroadie:
Just to keep the Kevin Smith thing rolling, here is at least one moment from the remaining flicks not mentioned. I'm limiting myself to one to save time. I could very well post their entire screenplays.

CHASING AMY

Holden: (long lead up to this) You're in love with me.
Banky: (blank look on his face, then realizes) What?
Holden: You're attracted to me. Just as I am, kind of, attracted to you. I mean, it makes sense. We've known each other for so long, we have so much in common.
Banky: Well, I better get going. (gets up) Gotta catch the last couple minutes of "Little House".
(Holden kisses Banky. Eyes bug out, jaws drop, Banky's back on the couch)
Holden: It's something you're gonna have to live with. And that would explain your jealousy of Alyssa, your homophobia, you're sense of humor.
Banky: Jesus, just because a guy has a predeliction towards dick jokes...

DOGMA

Jay: You're breaking up with us? (pause) WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, LADY!!! YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND AND BREAKING PEOPLE'S HEARTS. I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU, WE FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU. GUYS LIKE US JUST DON'T FALL OUT OF THE FUCKING SKY, Y'KNOW!!!
(A loud scream and a body falls to the ground. Bethany turns around. As the smoke clears, a naked black man is lying on the ground)
Jay: BEAUTIFUL, BIG TITTIED WOMEN JUST DON'T FALL OUT OF THE SKY, Y'KNOW!!!

JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK

Fred lookalike: Let's kick 'em out. We got a mystery to solve.
Shaggy lookalike: The only mystery here is why we keep taking our cues from a dick in a neckerchief.
Frd lookalike: Keep it up, beatnick. I'll feed you to the fucking dog!!

JERSEY GIRL

[after talking to Gertie, after finding her with Brian without their pants on]
Ollie: Do you have any questions about what you saw?
Gertie: [thinking hard] Do you have what Brian has?
Ollie: Yes.
Gertie: [after thinking hard again] Is it as big as his?
Ollie: Sadly, yes.
Gertie: Can we rent a movie?
Ollie: (Quickly) Yes.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"There's only one "Return" ok, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Jedi."

"Maybe we should start calling your friend 'Padme' because he loves 'Mannequin Skywalker' so much, Right? (imitating robot) Danger...danger...my name is Anakin...my shitty acting is ruining saga."

Excerpt of internet teaser for CLERKS 2.

DOGMA

Jay: "Yo man, tell me something about me."
Rufus: "You masturbate more than anyone on the planet."
Jay: "Aw fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows."
Rufus: "When you do it, you're thinking about guys."
a shocked Silent Bob stares at Jay
Jay: "Dude, not all the time."

Bethany: "What's he like?"
Metatron: "God? Lonely. But funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Take sex for example. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus."
Bethany: "Sex is a joke in heaven?"
Metatron: "The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here, too."

Jay: "I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar."

MALLRATS

At a Dating Game-like game show
Brandi: "Second suitor: if we were making whoopee, what sounds would you make?"
Brodie: "Wait, what's whoopee?"
Brandi: "You know, being intimate."
Brodie: "What? Like fucking?"

Brodie: "You've probably had a slew of women since her, am I right?"
Stan Lee: "Oh, lots of women. Jagger and me, we had a running contest to see who had the most. In fact, last time I checked I was way ahead."
Brodie: "DAMN that's hot!"

Jay is reading a Hustler. He shows a spread to Silent Bob
Jay: "Dude, this one looks like your mom."
Silent Bob nods

Brodie: "Most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass - or sticking my hand in it."

I love Kevin Smith movies.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 12:26 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

I could never, ever chose! I think so many things are funny that almost everythin I watch has a funny moment. Could I even remember them all? And if I did, could I type them all withut causing myself injury? Proably a no to both questions... I'll have to pick something to share.
We all know the Firefly funny, so I won't go into those, much as I love them.
Ah, way back in the day, I was an X-Files fan, and there was a moment I just loved in an episode called "Tooms" about a liver-eating mutant.
Tooms, working as an animal control officer or somesuch, starts stalking toward a potential victim, and agent Mulder just steps in front of him and deadpans "Excuse me." pause "Could you help me find my dog?" Tooms turns away, Mulder's talking to his back, "He's a norweigen elk hound. His name is Heinrich." Tooms is walking away and Mulder yells "I use him to hunt moose!"
I don't know why, but it gets me every time. Was a time all someone would have to do to set me off was say "Moose"
heeheeheeheehee... moose.
Oh yes, and Kevin Smith is classic, loved those moments too. See? Just too many to list...

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 12:55 AM

THUNDER

Evolution, were they remove the bug from the black guys but

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 1:47 AM

COPILOT

This is still the best. Find that kid taking a dirt nap with the baby Jesus. We need a hood ornament. Jayne try not to steal too much of their shit!

An I carried such a torch

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 2:20 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

The Japanese game show, MXC (most extreme elimination challenge ) is w/ out a doubt the funniest thing I've ever seen.

But when I first read this thread , a scene from Wonderfalls popped into my mind. It's a scene where Jaye is driving really fast, trying to get somewhere. There's an air freshener/muse hanging from the rear view, and w/ out a word, Jaye grabs it and throws it out the window. As it falls away , you can hear it say... " but I didn't SAY anything! ", as Jaye drives off. Too damn funny.

People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy. - Joss

" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 2:26 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:
This is still the best. Find that kid taking a dirt nap with the baby Jesus. We need a hood ornament. Jayne try not to steal too much of their shit!

An I carried such a torch

For no real reason, that scene came to mind the other day. I loved how Nathan just went with it and Adam was all like ' huh? '.

People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy. - Joss

" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 2:28 AM

MPHILLIPS

And the episode where Basil,trying to get the meal and he's been having car problems..the thing just ecalates till he's beating the car with a tree..omg laff till I cry every time

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 3:07 AM

REGINAROADIE

I don't think I havn't seen that ep. I think I only saw the first few eps on FOX, and then the Jewel eps on VISION TV (why a network with a Christian slant decided to show WONDERFALLS, I will never understand).

But the one scene from that show that made me laugh uncontrollably was in the pilot was when Jaye chucked the initital talking trinket into the trash and for 24 hours nonstop, the thing is singing "Hello, my baby". The scenes an obvious homage to the Looney Tunes cartoon classic "One Froggy Evening". Anything that references Looney Tunes is a plus in my book, but for that scene, it couldn't be more perfect.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"There's only one "Return" ok, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Jedi."

"Maybe we should start calling your friend 'Padme' because he loves 'Mannequin Skywalker' so much, Right? (imitating robot) Danger...danger...my name is Anakin...my shitty acting is ruining saga."

Excerpt of internet teaser for CLERKS 2.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 3:10 AM

EMMARIGBY

Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:
Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:
This is still the best. Find that kid taking a dirt nap with the baby Jesus. We need a hood ornament. Jayne try not to steal too much of their shit!

An I carried such a torch

For no real reason, that scene came to mind the other day. I loved how Nathan just went with it and Adam was all like ' huh? '.

I think this is my favorite line of all time! Along with "Put Shepherd Book's body up front. He was our friend and we should honour him" (or something like that)

The looks on their faces! Priceless!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, May 7, 2006 7:55 PM

FALLENANGEL

DODGEBALL

"Argh. Steve's got to go drian the sea dragon."

-Still makes me laugh everytime.

SHAUN OF THE DEAD

"Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?"- Ed

Liz: "You hang out with my friends? Sorry, a failed actress and a twat?"
Shaun: "Well, that's a bit harsh."
Liz: "Your words, Shaun!"
Shaun: "I did NOT call Dianne a failed actress!"

Shaun: "It's not that I don't wanna spend time with you, cause I do. It's just... Ed doesn't have too many friends."
Ed: "Can I get... any of you cunts... a drink?"

Shaun:about Ed "He's not my boyfriend!"
Ed: handing beer to Shaun "It might be a bit warm, the cooler was off."
Shaun: "Thanks, babe."
winks/I]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, don't walk. We're in their homes and in their heads and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

YOUR OPTIONS

SHARE THREAD

NEW POSTS TODAY

USER

POST DATE