Male and Female Imponderables Part Deux by Tristan

I like that. I think i have found my soul mate in my wife. I have felt close to other people in the past, almost like we were siblings separated at birth, but I never felt really "complete" until the day I met her.

Also, that Greek theory brings to mind "Hedwig and the Angry Inch"...I know, probably not the best comparison, but the music theme in that movie closely parallels the Greek.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 5:01 AM

COPILOT

Still trying to find my soul mate. Significant other is taking it pretty hard.

An I carried such a torch

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 5:02 AM

Does the significant other believe they are your soul mate? That might make things a mite interestin'

Holding until you get back, Captain.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 5:17 AM

NUCLEARDAY

Man, I hope there's no such thing...

I've got enough trouble meeting new people as is... :P

(Plus I've got enough troubles with commitment-phobia and the like. Don't need to be regretting any current relationships 'cause they might not be "the one." :)

________________________________________________
You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 5:22 AM

SAMEERTIA

I believe in soul-mates.
But I also believe that we are not always destined to be together in any particular lifetime, that as souls working our way up the enlightenment ladder we often have to be apart to learn the lessons presented to us.
I try not to spend my life wondering when I will find the person to complete me, and focus instead on being complete as I am. Does that make any sense?

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 5:28 AM

COPILOT

I love life and I Love significant other. He's not so nieve to think he's my one and only! At least I hope he doesn't.

An I carried such a torch

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 5:43 AM

Can there be two? No of couse not, but i did believe that i had found my mate for life at an early age. We dated, fell in love and married young - me 23, she 24.... and we are still in love and married and best friends..... but about 3 years into the marriage, i met a woman who seemed so compatable, who just seemed to complete my every thought and was so in tune with my feelings (and i with hers), that i did have that moment of doubt.
It was a star crossed love affair alright.... and we sinned right up there with the best of them... certainly not some of my best days ever - but at the time i thought they were.... It didn't and couldn't last - we parted ways, both of us heartbroken and terribly confused, and i tried to pick up the pieces of my broken marriage - i was still very much in love with my wife.... and to my great surprise, she was so understanding and forgiving that i knew that i had made the right choice all along...
Needless to say, i have never strayed since that day...and i think i can safely say that i never will....
It was a hard lesson to learn, but i did learn.

hate to get so maudlin here, but i've only told that story a couple of times - and it is sorta theraputic...and cost a lot less than seeing a shrink....

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 5:51 AM

Its more like circles of influence. There are a number of people I have known and will know that have had or will have essential bits that I lack. Are they all meant to be with me and I with them?

Its more an issue of being lucky enough to find those that compliment what I have. My husband is not the ONE, but he's darn wonderful to know and partner with.

*************************************************
I mean to confound these bungers!
http://www.freewebs.com/liadanfirefly/index.htm

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 5:58 AM

SAB39

I've separated from my wife very recently (it could never have worked - she wasn't a browncoat ;) ) so I clearly am not necessarily the best person to have any insight into this.

However, I want to believe in the idea. And I have seen plenty of evidence of other people around me (actually, including my exwife) finding theirs. So I'm going to go with yes.

(Just to go OT for a minute: my attitude towards all this happening has been helped surprisingly much by Firefly. Especially the commentary on the deleted scene between Mal and the Operative at the end of the BDM. When you've lost everything, what do you do? Keep flying. That's the outlook I've taken, and I feel great for it)

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 6:37 AM

PERSEPHONE736

First of all, yay for continuing this thread!

About the whole soul mate thing- I'd like to believe and maybe that's why I have such issue with guys, I'm always wondering if they're my soulmate... yeah, I definitely think too much...anyway I'm always hoping that my soul mate is out there and that it's not just wishful thinking.

Link to current Firefly Fit Club weekly thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=20301
Link to original Firefly Fit Club thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=18971

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 6:48 AM

I whole heartedly beleive in soul mates. I've been with my wife for twelve years and I can't imagine being with anyone else. We are constantly talking about how weird it was that when we first met the same things started to happen to both of us. It was like we were meant to be together. And, I'm really happy that we both saw the signs.

Just a little something extra. How many of you women out there like to have a man cook for you? I do about 95% of the cooking in my house. I love to cook for my wife and myself.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me.
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 6:53 AM

So far, so good!
Yes, I am glad to have brought this thread back...there are so many of you out there interested in carrying on intriguing conversations.

An addition to Lysander's cooking question; how many women prefer to do the cooking themselves...ie, the man is so bad he is banned from the kitchen

?
I, too, am a cooker, my wife is the dessert maker (her Irish pudding has made me cry, it's so good), but there are times when we share cooking duties to create a fun meal.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 6:57 AM

If you mean in the traditional sense of one other person with whom you are destined to be from conception, without whom you will be forever incomplete, no. No way.

Mr. Grizwald and I have been married 20 years now. We now look back and wonder how we could ever have lived with anyone else that long. But it took a lot of work, and still does. It's not easy, and if we had been looking for easy, we would have split up at about the 5-year mark, or the 10-year mark, or the 15-year mark. Or next year. Who knows? But we are committed to each other and plan to stay together til death do us part.

Which brings up something else: If you believe in soul mates, then let's say you marry your soul mate, live together for 40 years, then one of you dies of cancer. The other has to be resigned to loneliness for the rest of his or her days. If, however, you marry someone, love and are faithful for all those years, make yourself what you know you need to be to stay in the marriage, and then say your sad goodbyes at death's door, there is still hope that you may find someone else to love in your remaining years.

____________________________________________________
They could not take the sky from them -
Our Big Damn Heroes made a film!
I'm gonna see Serenity then
go back the next morning and see it again.
Cuz no one at Fox knew this show had no equal
C'mon Universal, and greenlight the sequel!

Click on my profile for my Annoyingly Long List of Firefly Links.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 6:58 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by lysander:
How many of you women out there like to have a man cook for you? I do about 95% of the cooking in my house. I love to cook for my wife and myself.

Mr Grizwald is the same way. I love his cooking! Trouble is, he never makes the same thing twice, so if we really love something he made, we know we'll never, ever, EVER taste that wonderful taste again.

____________________________________________________
They could not take the sky from them -
Our Big Damn Heroes made a film!
I'm gonna see Serenity then
go back the next morning and see it again.
Cuz no one at Fox knew this show had no equal
C'mon Universal, and greenlight the sequel!

Click on my profile for my Annoyingly Long List of Firefly Links.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 7:15 AM

I have a tendency to do the same thing...but I have found I am better at pasta and associated dishes, so I tend to stick to those. My tuna fish/mashed potato/cheddar cheese casserole was NOT a big hit.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 7:31 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER

Firstly, a big SHINY thank you to TRISTAN for the great discussion. Though I do believe in Soul Mates for all, but my own reality seems to keep kicking me in the ass. F it, I prefer the old ways, even if it may be perceived as a fantasy.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 7:36 AM

Oh Tristan

I can understand how your tuna fish/mashed potato/cheddar cheese casserole would NOT be a big hit. What were you thinking? I can't eat pasta but my wife loves it. I make what I can for her with the pasta, but it's hard when you can't taste test your own cooking.

If you want a good casserole try this. Enchilada sauce, corn tortillas, cheddar cheese, black olives, and chicken or whatever meat you prefer. Layer them and bake. It's pretty good. This is my wifes specialty.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me.
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 7:40 AM

Ooh, that dish sounds good. I will have to attempt that.

The tuna casserole was a mistake, yes...but I liked it. I was a college gourmet chef (anything to do with Ramen and whatever was left in the fridge from the last party), and decided to try to surprise the wife one night. An boy howdy did I succeed. She told me she loved me, but that she was unable to eat dinner that night...so far, that has been my worst transgression in the food department. I stick to mostly normal things now.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 7:49 AM

When he's not working late hubby does the cooking. On Sunday mornings he makes a MEAN biscuits and gravy! OMG!

I'm a fair cook, but I've noticed he's far more adventurous in the kitchen. I'm banned when he cooks, because I'm always panicked at the ingredients he uses. I know it will turn out good but it scares me!

Is that adventurousness a 'man' thing?

*************************************************
I mean to confound these bungers!
http://www.freewebs.com/liadanfirefly/index.htm

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 7:54 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER

MMMMMM. Biscuts and gravy. (wipes away drool)

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 7:57 AM

Sometimes its the only thing'll get me outa bed... that smell wafting up the stairs and teasing my senses.

*************************************************
I mean to confound these bungers!
http://www.freewebs.com/liadanfirefly/index.htm

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 7:59 AM

AZHEA, just reference my tuna casserole...yes, "adventurousness" is a male trait in the kitchen (I can only speak for myself here, though). The more ingredients I have to play with, the better!

Holding until you get back, Captain.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:04 AM

Barry (that's my DH, you know, Barry Grizwald) is currently into Thai cooking. Everything has to have weird looking fungi and exotic (read expensive) fresh herbs in it. But the finished product is delish.

____________________________________________________
They could not take the sky from them -
Our Big Damn Heroes made a film!
I'm gonna see Serenity then
go back the next morning and see it again.
Cuz no one at Fox knew this show had no equal
C'mon Universal, and greenlight the sequel!

Click on my profile for my Annoyingly Long List of Firefly Links.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:16 AM

do you realize how hard it is being a vegetarian in the cattle dominated culture of texas?

i grow the vegies - gail prepares delicious dishes - it's our cycle of life...

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:22 AM

Tristan, I didn't want anything to do with your casserole... no offense, but that did not sound good.

I get what you're saying though. Its not limited to the kitchen however, right? Seems to me men are just more adventurous, period. Might stem from our original roles; men hunting and gathering, women tending the homestead.

Not to say women can't adventure. I'm a bit more willing to explore in the bedroom than hubby is.

TMI?

*************************************************
I mean to confound these bungers!
http://www.freewebs.com/liadanfirefly/index.htm

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:25 AM

Dayve, that sounds like the hunter-gatherer deal...shiny!

This seems to be going well...let's try another question:

In general, what is the most annoying habit you find amongst the opposite sex? Not a specific person, just a general habit.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:29 AM

There are very few things that my wife does to annoy me, but the one thing she does that really annoys me is to ask hypothetical questions. You know, would you remarry if I died and my personal favorite, would you still love me if my nose fell off kind of things.

Is this something that you do to intentionally get to us?

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me.
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:29 AM

You work at your relationship, overcome obstacles and get to that point where you feel safe....

And then your man starts passing gas more often and don't feel it necessary to excuse himself. I've heard this a problem with other ladies. What is up with this?

*************************************************
I mean to confound these bungers!
http://www.freewebs.com/liadanfirefly/index.htm

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:31 AM

Okay Tristan, this is getting a bit weird. My post answers your new question but we were both posting at the same time. I never saw your question but still answered it.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me.
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:32 AM

Lysander, Its a thing we do to more firmly establish that you love us.

*************************************************
I mean to confound these bungers!
http://www.freewebs.com/liadanfirefly/index.htm

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:32 AM

No offense taken at all, believe me!

Adventurousness does not stick to the kitchen, no. There are areas wherein I am more adventurous than my wife, and vice versa, but I am at a point in my life where I am slowing down, and realizing things I did earlier might very well kill me now. My wife is at a point where she likes trying new things, and hanging out with lots of new people. To explain a little better, there is a ten year difference between the two of us (35 to 25), and I was being all adventurous while she was still in grade school. I am not as willing to try new things as she is (ie skydiving, etc), but neither am I going to hold her back from them. As far as the bedroom, I have always been adventurous, and would still like to be, but age is slowly taking it's toll. I am happy that I was adventurous in the past in this aspect...just wish I could still be...

Holding until you get back, Captain.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:40 AM

Yeah, that is kinda weird, Lysander...sure you aren't kin of mine?

AZHEA, the passing gas is something I try not to do, but sometimes it does happen, and I excuse myself and get embarassed. From a male perspective, though, it shows a level of comfort around you. Ok, not the best way to express it, I agree. This may be one explanation.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:45 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Azhea:
Lysander, Its a thing we do to more firmly establish that you love us.

LOL... At first read, I thought this was in response to the passing gas comment... I guess it works both ways.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:45 AM

boy, that's a loaded question if ever i heard one....

let me preface what i'm about to say with this... i like solitude... my wife and i live in the country in a very quiet, peaceful and serine setting - we get coyotes at night (and bullfrogs) and in the day its mostly the wind through the trees and the ocassional train whistle in the distance....

so...(and here is where i get flamed)..why is that some, not all mind you, but some women constantly yammer away with the most pointless dialogue to whomever is in earshot...? ok, before all the ladies take offense...i will admit that many men do the same thing, especially with sports... but what's with this persistant preoccupation with gossip.... ?

yeah, i guess gossip is the thing i that annoys me the most...

please be kind....

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 8:59 AM

Azhea, I understand that it is a way of showing our level of love and devotion, but come on. Sometimes these questions are just looking for fights. I've been with my wife for twelve years and had to spend a month in a hospital taking care of her. I don't think that the questions are necessary any longer.

Tristan, Nothing wrong with your wife looking for adventure. It's good that you encourage it. As far as being a bit old to have to much adventure in the bedroom, I have to question that. I am going on 34 and am not even close to throwing any adventure away when it comes to the bedroom.

As far as the gas thing goes, It happens but we don't need to be rude and disgusting about it.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me.
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 9:05 AM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

I just can't imagine bumping into someone who completes me in every way. Maybe I'm not the romantic type and maybe it will never happen 'cause I'm not looking for it to happen but I agree with Grizwald. Been married for almost 30 years, some years definitely better than others but we work on it in the tough years and enjoy the good ones.

Most annoying habit, hmmm ... people thinking they have the right to control someone thru intimidation. DEFINITELY annoying!

---------------------------------
I imagine that's so, sir.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 9:14 AM

ELOISA

Quote:
Originally posted by Dayve:
so...(and here is where i get flamed)..why is that some, not all mind you, but some women constantly yammer away with the most pointless dialogue to whomever is in earshot...? ok, before all the ladies take offense...i will admit that many men do the same thing, especially with sports... but what's with this persistant preoccupation with gossip.... ?

yeah, i guess gossip is the thing i that annoys me the most...

Dayve, try being a woman who hates it. It's a preconception in society that women have to be able to talk about nothing for hours. My mei-mei and I fell out once for several months because she didn't get the fact that when I talk I like to talk about things.

(Although I will talk about sports and video games etc. for hours. Some people juggle geese.)

Tristan - your casserole thingy sounds like a very odd shepherd's pie. Fisherman's pie? I'm a good cook unless its something vegetarian, so I like doing it in that I know it'll be something I like, but I love it when someone else cooks, especially when we do it alternate nights. It shows a happy sharing spirit.

***
http://forums.ffonline.com/forumdisplay.php?f=19
Creative Writing

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 9:20 AM

NCTIBBY

I have to say that being inconsiderate is the one thing that annoys me most about my guy friends. Women are capable of it, too, but it's mostly the guys that don't call when they're supposed to, don't show up when you've arranged to meet somewhere, don't answer messages for months on end. Then again, sweeping generalizations are bad and I think I just have some unreliable friends.

Lysander, the hypothetical questions game bugs the heck out of me, too. It's just pointless and manipulative and makes you appear to be looking for a fight. And I pledge to never ask them of any future significant other.

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 9:27 AM

Eloisa
I understand what you mean... i do know women who feel the way you do..and i should not paint with such a broad brush... but it just so happens that one day a week, for about 4 hours, i am in the company of several young ladies. And, if it were not for my iPod cranking out tunes in my ear - i could very well go stark raving mad... (i'm not a heavy drinker, but i keep a bottle of scotch at home for just this particular day...) These girls will say anything about anybody - and sometimes people they don't even know.

I don't know, maybe it's just me. And, i suppose i am the pot calling the kettle black, by posting here and yammering on and on...

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 9:35 AM

Yeah, that's what I was trying to do; make Fisherman's pie! Thank you, Eloisa! I am going to use that in future culinary discussions!

Ah, the gossip thing. Men are as guilty as women, but all people like to hear themselves talk to some degree or other. I enjoy a good gossip session every now and then, but I do hate random bleating of no consequence; back to the "talk to hear yourself talk" thing. If I have nothing to say, I say nothing at all. It is not me trying to be dark and mysterious, it is me not having anything to say. That leads me to one of my pet peeves...people asking "are you OK?" when I am quiet...however, my wife will be the first to tell you I am highly guilty of that.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 9:41 AM

Hey, thanks Tristan and everyone for the interesting debate. I have to move on to actual work for the rest of the day. Hope to catch up with you guys later.
Have a great weekend everyone... and keep flying.

dave

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 10:47 AM

Well, Dayve, we shall be here when you return!

Alright, where were we...we've covered soul mates, cooking, annoyances, gossip, adventurousness (this one will require further discussions

)...off to a good start!

I'm glad you all have decided to come back and post in here! Let's keep this up, as I am learning things I should have already known!

Next question sort of goes along the courting/flirting lines, as in moving from the transcendental love to the beginning of the physical; kissing and carressing styles: preferences? This should take the discussion down a few notches, maybe bring out a few

!

I am looking forward to these answers.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 11:07 AM

Oookay...I can hear the crickets.

Apparently that question did not hold much interest for anyone...

Umm...ah, got one!

On the issue of driving:
Common theory is that women can't drive, and men HAVE to be the one driving.
Come on, rip this one up!!

Holding until you get back, Captain.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 11:11 AM

I'm not reall y big in the kissing department. I do it, but not as much as my wife would like. The first time we kissed we were both so nervous that we knocked our teeth together. I'm really big on he petting thing. I like to caress and it is a good way to get things started.

I think we should see some more discussion on the adventurousness thing to. Not going to start but will chime in.

How many of you ladies like it when you get kissed gently on down middle of your back? If you have not experienced it, you should.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me.
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 11:13 AM

I dunno. I'm pretty ticklish.

Everywhere.

____________________________________________________
They could not take the sky from them -
Our Big Damn Heroes made a film!
I'm gonna see Serenity then
go back the next morning and see it again.
Cuz no one at Fox knew this show had no equal
C'mon Universal, and greenlight the sequel!

Click on my profile for my Annoyingly Long List of Firefly Links.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 11:15 AM

Are you just trying to ask for trouble?

I pride myself on my driving abilities. It is one of those things that I like to do. Granted, at times it may become very aggressive, but that is only when I run into those that can't drive. And yes, there are just as many bad male drivers as female.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me.
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 5, 2006 11:21 AM