The Rules of Men by ManiacNumberOne

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

The Rules of Men

POSTED BY: MANIACNUMBERONE
UPDATED: Thursday, December 18, 2003 17:24
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Thursday, December 18, 2003 12:13 PM

Here is a little thing that got sent to me that I thought was funny and might even ring true
with some of us men. Notice that all the rules are number 1 .

The Rules of MEN!!!

1.Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up-you need it
down. You don't hear us whining about you leaving it down.

1.Shopping is not a Sport. And NO, we are never going to think of it
that way.

1. Crying is blackmail!!!

1.Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not
work! Obvious hints do not work! JUST SAY IT!

1.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is
what your girlfriends are for.

1.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor!

1.Anything we said 6 months ago, is inadmissable in an argument. In
fact, all comments become
null and void after 7 days.

1.If you think you're fat you probably are. Don't ask us!

1.If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry-
We meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. NOT BOTH! If you
already know best how to do it, just do it yourself!

1.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials

1.Christopher Columbus did not need directions-- Neither do we!

1.If it itches, it will be scratched. WE DO THAT!

1.If we ask what is wrong and you say "NOTHING", we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know
that your lying, but it is not worth the hassle.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
REALLY!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss topics such as
Baseball, the shotgun formation, or trout fishing.

1. You have enough clothes!

1. You have too many shoes!!

1. I am in shape. round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but you know,
Men don't really mind that, IT'S LIKE CAMPING!!!!

HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!

-------------------------------------------
Inara: Who's winning?
Simon: I can't really tell, they don't seem to be playing by any civilized rules that I know.
-------------------------------------------

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Thursday, December 18, 2003 5:24 PM

TEELABROWN

How fun! But, I must note that I'm not like most girls. I have one pair fancy shoes, one pair boots, and one pair sneakers. That's it.

I have no problems with anything else you say, and I do have enough clothes.

Keep flyin', and Happy Holidays!

............................................................................................
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Keep flyin', and remember, THEY can't take the sky from US!

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