Male and Female Imponderables Part Deux by Tristan

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Male and Female Imponderables Part Deux

POSTED BY: TRISTAN
UPDATED: Monday, May 15, 2006 10:33
SHORT URL:
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PAGE 4 of 5

Thursday, May 11, 2006 5:01 AM

I forgot to add that part, too. My wife orgams every time as well...assuming I am able to keep everything going just right...it's horrible getting old, and sometimes the ten-year difference kills me...

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 5:26 AM

I just thought of this question today, don't know if anyone has brought it up yet.

On average, what would you all say is the average age that men and women lose their virginity? You hear all sorts of things on the news, but it would be interesting to hear my fellow Browncoat's opinion on the subject.

At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 5:31 AM

I was a late bloomer...18 and a Freshman in college. I had a lot of catching up to do with a lot of my colleagues. Most of the males I knew lost it around 16; most of the females about the same.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 5:33 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
PhoenixRose, thank you for that. And you're right; the right woman is worth waiting for!

Back to the casual thing...it can't be just guys who can do this. If it were, then there wouldn't be a question about it. I was never a male slut, but I did have a few meaningless flings with partners who were seeking the same thing. Is this a widespread phenomenon? I am not sure that all males were brought up viewing sex as "sacred"...more of a rite of passage. That may be wrong, but it seems to be the norm. You very rarely hear of a man "saving himself from marriage"...please don't tear me apart for stating these things; I am trying to get more views on these things.

No, most people are not raised to think of sex as sacred. The normal standards of our society cast it both as a rite of passage and as something that should be kept behind closed doors. Some are raised to save themselves for marriage, but that is not quite the same thing as being told, straight up, that it's an important, special, and sacred practice. Not just my parents were telling me that (actually, alluding to some of it) I came to the conclusion partly on my own. The spiritual beliefs I gravitated towards all spoke about the importance of joining masculine and feminine; sacred union. Balance. Yin and yang. Tantra. The power of opening the core channel through orgasm. That's what I wanted, and I certainly wasn't going to settle for less. I always said I wasn't waiting for marriage, I was just waiting for a level of devotion. Trust. I very much don't regret that particualr choice, as I'm the only person I know who has had zero bad experiences in the bedroom (or wherever).
But I also understand sexual frustration. I really, really do, so I totally understand why people would seek a casual fling to relieve that tension. I have been tempted lately, I admit, but having expereinced what I have, I just don't know if it really would relieve the tension. I don't think I could be fulfilled by someone who was clueless as to the spiritual aspects of sex, and they take time to learn, not to mention to develop between two people. Part of me dreads the wait, but again, I know it's worth it to be sure things will go well.
But no, it isn't just men. I know that, and I can sort of respect it in a way, I just personally believe there are much better ways to be fulfilled than pure physical... stuff. I'm a pretty unusual person in that respect, though. I still hold out hope that I'm not the only one, but I well could be; at least, in terms of never being casual and then thinking later that it wasn't as fun that way, which I know does happen sometimes. Having this realization/making this choice at my age does not happen very much, I know. It's almost discouraging, but I've taught a few people my views, so I can do it again. Maybe they'll stick next time, too.

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 5:47 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

I really don't know what the average age would be. I didn't lose mine until I was 19 (though as I've said before, I did want it to mean something) and I have a friend who's 23 and still a virgin. Another friend (well, she was a friend) went for it at 16, but it was one of those cases where it really changed her, and I think that's because she wasn't really ready for it. We recently stopped talking because I couldn't stand her attitude anymore. Another friend of mine lost her virginity when she was 14, but it, um, wasn't her choice to do so. She did nothing willingly until about 18. I knew a few people in middle school who were already going at it at 13, and I knew plenty of vigins in high school at 17 and 18. In fact, every single guy I dated in high school was a virgin. Most people in my social circle seemed to fall between 16 and 19, both male and female. Even the sluttiest girl I knew waited til she was 17, then started jumping any boy who would have her. The sluttiest guy I knew I think was 15 or 16, though I met him after the fact and don't remember what he said about it.
So in the people I've known well it ranges from 16-23, and the people I've encountered it ranges from 12-20. Hard to really pick an "average" I would say.

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 5:56 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Hard to really pick an "average" I would say.

Agreed. I was just thinking that there might be some kind of general consensus, at least among people on the site. Most of the people I know range from the early teens to the early twenties.

At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 6:05 AM

Insightful, PhoenixRose...thank you.
I may have been misconstrued in my opinions. I do not believe that physical satisfaction is the ultimate goal between lovers. There is the building up of trust, the ability to converse intelligently (or not) for long periods of time, and tolerance that all come from long-term relationships. And yes, the physical part benefits mightily from all of this. Very similar to your views, but I don't really focus on the spiritual aspect/Yin Yang/Tantra. I prefer not to mix religion and intercourse...or with anything, for that matter. It can be mind-blowing, yes, but I tend to veer away from calling it a joining of spirits or a sacred union. I do not believe one has to study or spend an inordinate amount of time focusing their sexual energy in order to enjoy themselves and be fulfilled by sharing themselves.
I guess what we have here is two different views on sex; spritual vs non-spiritual. Please do not take it as a general dismissive "pah" on my part. I am glad to have this view presented; I just thought it important to compare my view to yours.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 7:01 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
I have another question. Body types; what do you prefer? I tend to like some softness in my partner. Not, y'know, really overweight, but not hard and muscle-bound, either. It's just cuddlier and nicer and more fun when you can squeeze someone, or pet them without too much resistance.

Apologies to PheonixRose, as I seem to be consistently replying to her posts, but... well, you gotta hit a reply to someone. :P

On the body-type thing: I actually know very guys, if at all, who prefer the bone-thin waif model look. I'd say... healthy? would be a good term for the ideal? Stereotypically, what do men like? And what are two important features that skinny girls tend to lack? I agree that "subcutaneous softness" is a good term. Bones are turn-off. Plus I got a thing for love handles... In reality, though, I've dated all types of women. Confidence in your own body, and a good smile go a long way with me.

@Spooning: I have yet to find the right position for sleeping. I've got poor circulation anyways, plus I'm a light sleeper so I'm always getting up in the middle of the night. Too much untangling never works well. But spooning seems to work as well as anything.

@the virginity topic: I lost mine at 23. I suppose it was nice to just finally get it over with, but I did feel a bit like Fess Higgins in Jaynestown :) (Shouldn't I feel different?) Plus, of course, it wasn't very good for either involved party.

Actually, I'm one of those guys who likes to wait a bit in a relationship before adding the whole sex thing into the equation. My experience, it's always a bit awkward and not terribly good with someone I don't have much of a connection with yet. That whole sexual tension thing has really killed some of my past relationships. I've found it works best to just deal with it straight out one way or another. Either we get it over with early on, or we agree to take our time and get to know each other first.

Comes to mind, since I'm just at that stage in my current relationship. We've just started seeing each other, and still a bit nervous because of that. I come off in person like I'd be more into casual sex, I guess. So I think it was a relief on both our parts to wait a bit. There's been that whole thing with avoiding making out and being a little more intimate 'cause we were both nervous that the other would want a bit... more :) For me, a lot of it is a matter of how comfortable I am with someone. Also, it was nice to know that we were both on the same wavelength, which is always good sign.

________________________________________________
You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 9:12 AM

It's great to see that there are a few people out there who do not mind opening up and talking about these issues. I guess it's easier doing it this way rather than in person. But, it still makes me feel at ease with you guys on this sight.

I had posted a couple of days ago about hypothetical questions. Here is one that I heard a friend of ours ask my wife. Is it possible for a person to be in love with two people? What do you guys think? Remember, in love, not just love. I'm interested in hearing what is said.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 9:17 AM

I think it's possible, just not all that likely. Some people have big hearts that have enough room for two people. And other people like to delude themselves into thinking that they do. It takes all kinds, I guess.

At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 9:23 AM

I think it's possible to be in love with many people at the same time. Just not an all consuming love that, you can only have for one person at a time. Just my opinion.
Also I think that once you've fallen in love with someone it's forever. You can never stop loving someone no matter how much you want to drive metal spikes into their eyes.

An I carried such a torch

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 9:26 AM

Wow. Toughie, there, Lysander. I would imagine it's possible, but like Deepgirl says, probably not all that likely. I guess that love could possibly be confused for lust...I have been in love and lust with more than one person at a time, but I am pretty sure I have never loved more than one person in that way.
That's a good one!

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 9:41 AM

Good answers. I feel the same way that you all do. I think it is possible, but unlikely. I really believe that Tristan is right. I do believe that people mix love with lust. There is the rare occasion that it does happen, but I've never seen it.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 5:00 PM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

I have experienced being in love with two people at once. It. Sucks. Yes, really, it does. It's a torn feeling on a very basic level, esspecially since I'm a naturally loyal person. There was jealousy and drama and a complete falling out with the person I was with. Even though he claimed to have felt the same thing, he refused to understand. It was a short relationship and the end was messy.
So my answer would be yes, it is possible. It's difficult and if it can be avoided it should be, but it's possible.
I also agree that if you fall in love with someone you love them forever. They have a little tiny piece of you that you can't get back. I can also say, however, that wanting to drive spikes through their eyes and being angry and bitter at them can make it easier to ignore that old feeling. Partly, I think, because good love depends on trust. If you can't trust someone anymore, the love goes sour, even if it remains in some form.

And oh yes, I love having my posts responded to

so no need to apologize.

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 3:16 AM

I am glad to hear there is no need for an apology. I enjoy posting, and airing my own opinions, but I have no wish to irk anyone. The whole idea was for fun discussion and I'm glad we're still having fun

Unfortunately, you are right about loving a person forever. There may be a period of time where you wish that person was dead, but the love stays. Well, how about in most cases your feelings last forever...I am still quite displeased with my first wife, and that was almost four years ago. I am not foolish enough to believe I was in love with everyone I have been with, but those that I did love I still care about. Heck, one of them is married to a very good friend of mine, and we still see each other every now and then.
So, love is good, breaking up is bad, and the feelings stick around.

Ever seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ? There were times in the past where I wish that were possible...

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 4:45 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Lifted from the "who would you bed down with" thread:

Quote:
Originally posted by sab39:
I also wonder whether there's any connection between that fact and the way that (as another sweeping generalization) any straight man will respond to the thought of two women with a firm "I'll be in my bunk" where as far as I can tell it's pretty rare for a woman to have that reaction to the thought of two men.

Hey, as long as it's loving, I think it's hot. I've read some slash fics that left me cold, and some that left me, well, not cold. I'll say, though, that I never eally thought about it before reading them. As far as someone I was with... Well, I wouldn't want to watch them get it on with anyone else, regardless of gender. But cute couples are cute, and they can be across the whole spectrum. There are some lesbian couples that are really not that cute, some that are; some hetero cuples that are also decidedly not cute, and some that are. See where I'm going with this? anyway, my theory is that it's usually the thought of pleasure that causes the "I'll be in my bunk" reaction. Women can be very good at pleasuring each other since they are, uh, quite familiar with the parts. The same could probably be said of men. It's not a regualr fantasy, but I can dig it.
That brings up another thought. another generalization that I might be totally off on: I, as a woman, tend to have fantasies that include myself. I think this is true of most women, which is possibly why we don't tend to fantasize about two men together. Where would we fit in? But men seem to be able to imagine two completely different people and still find it enjyable, which is possibly why they would fantasize about two women. Am I right?

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 4:57 AM

.... i posted a reply about soul mates a while back... saying that in my third year of marriage i met someone else and we fell in love - I still loved the woman i married, but love follows no set rules... loving two people at once can happen (or maybe even more than two).... While this may work for some - polygamists come to mind (anyone watch 'Big Love' on HBO?)... it just didn't work in my case. There must be a mutual understanding between all parties involved.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 5:02 AM

Hmm. Most of my fantasies involve myself and one other person. I learned early on, outside of fantasies, that it is easier to enjoy yourself when you only have one other partner to focus on. Not saying I can't concentrate on more than one thing at a time

, but when it comes to the physical, I prefer only one other.
As to the "guy" fantasy of two women together...not really sure. I enjoy the thought of it, yes, but it does not drive my fantasies. Would I look away? No, but neither would I jump right in there. You are correct, PhoenixRose, in that a woman knows another woman's body best (same would go for a man, but that is something I have never done nor had the desire to do), and I think a man would just get in the way in that situation.

And no, I could not handle the thought of my wife with another male. Maybe being the odd "man" out here, but her being with another female would not bother me too much...at least I don't think it would. And no, I would not want to be involved in it, either. I cannot speak for all males (that is beginning to be a common disclaimer of mine), but I think that may be the consensus; we would rather have our significant other be with another female than with a male.

Thanks for bringing that discussion over. Invite some of them over here...see what they have to say on the matter.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 5:05 AM

>I also wonder whether there's any connection between that fact and the way that (as another sweeping generalization) any straight man will respond to the thought of two women with a firm "I'll be in my bunk" where as far as I can tell it's pretty rare for a woman to have that reaction to the thought of two men.<

Not so; I've met a lot of women into the thought of watching two guys at it.

Soulmates? Yes - I've seen eyes across the crowded room and *bingo* twice [You! Where have you been?!!] and I've heard of it happening to other peeps. With all the folk out there it's likely there's a handful of people with whom we could be as close to soulmates as makes no difference. Trouble is, the 'other half' might be in Outer Mongolia .

Vera

Devout Keeper of Jayne's Lunchbox

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Friday, May 12, 2006 5:05 AM

I really think that what you are saying has to do with the thing about casual sex. Everybody does it, it just seems more accepted by many males. That is why we are able to imagine people we don't even know. It works with women too, it's just not as predominant. I also think that is why males are more closely associated with adult movies. This may be coming from way out in left field, but that's what I think.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 5:08 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by lysander:
I also think that is why males are more closely associated with adult movies.

Not to say that women don't watch adult movies as well.

At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 5:18 AM

I didn't mean to say that they don't watch. I know a lot of women who think that it helps there sex life. I just meant that people tend to think the majority of viewers are male.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 5:33 AM

Welcome to the discussion, Vera! Thanks for your input.
I have never known of a woman being turned on by the thought of two males together...at least, they have not told me this.

Lysander, not the adult movie comment is not out of left field. It sort of goes along with the fantasizing thing. Another sweeping generalization follows--males are "turned on" by visual stimulation, therefore, we tend to go more for the adult movies and things like that. May go back to the Neanderthal portion of the brain...hunters always watching things; "movement!" Women are not as turned on visually (PLEASE CORRECT ME), so adult movies don't really count as much.
DeepGirl, yes, females do watch. I have had a few partners that enjoyed watching adult movies, but they spent more time laughing at them then anything else. While I enjoy laughter during some intimate couplings, the whole bowled-over with tears coming out of their eyes is a different story. I have never personally had a sexual experience that was improved by watching an adult movie. May just be me.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 5:34 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
I cannot speak for all males (that is beginning to be a common disclaimer of mine), but I think that may be the consensus; we would rather have our significant other be with another female than with a male.

I'd be inclined to agree, off-hand. At least it'd take some of the jealousy issues out of the picture? (ie, with a guy there'd be the whole "was he better than me" thing, but with another woman... well, I'd imagine it would be in some ways, I suppose :) I would, of course, insist on watching.

Believe it was PheonixRose who brought up the fantasy topic? Sometimes I'm in them, sometimes it's more like watching a movie? Come to think of it, some of them are a bit serial in nature. Been going on for many, many moons now. Quite a convoluted plot by now ;p I'm not usually in those ones. I also don't tend to fantasize about actual people, or even celebrities. Not sure if that's a gender thing, or just me, though :P

Anyways, kudos to Tristan for an interesting thread. Good to see we've moved past the previous debacle.

________________________________________________
You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

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Friday, May 12, 2006 6:25 AM

I'm just happy things are moving along as smoothly as they are! Thanks to all who have so far played here. Let's keep up the fun, and maybe we Browncoats can create a Master Plan to figure out the sexes!

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 7:49 AM

I don't think this subject has come up yet, so I'm going to toss it out there. Inter-racial relationships. I married at age 23, and have remained with the same person (except a short period of extreme brainlessness, as mentioned before), but when i was 20 i was involved with a beautiful black girl (i'm your run of the mill white guy).... Honestly, it was pretty much pure lust.... but it was a wonderful experience that i will never forget.

I have a friend in a mixed marriage (he black, she white)... and they have the most beautiful baby boy....

I know that you love who you love, regardless of race, creed, sex or any of the other stupid taboos that are supposed to separate us, and I can imagine a time in the future when there will be no distinction between people based on color, gender....whatever..... and i think that would be shiny.....

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Friday, May 12, 2006 7:57 AM

My mother was involved in an interracial marriage (she's black, he's Russian). They did end up getting divorced (of course, that's been a bit of a pattern for my mom, but that's another story entirely). My mother wasn't so much concerned about race, just who she was in love with. That's the stance I tend to take on the subject. I will say that in interracial relationships, you should always be careful of cultural differences. What you think is a negative trait or outlook may actually just be a part of the person's cultural background. It takes a lot of work on both people's part to make the realtionship work (then again, the same goes for any relationship.).

At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 9:23 AM

My wife is from a inter-racial relationship. Her father is black and her mom white. She picked up most of her looks from her dad. She appears to be a light skinned black person. We have had a great relationship for twelve years. We had a lot of remarks early on in, but lately we don't care. I live in a military community with a large black population as far as the base goes. The young black guys would always make comments, but never to my face. They would whisper things to my wife so that I wouldn't hear. Really brave. Plus, they wouldn't do it if they were by themselves. The old white people use to give us dirty looks. The looks didn't last very long when I would turn and ask them what they were looking at. People need to get over the whole race thing and things would be so much better.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 9:32 AM

Soul Mates: Definately. I think there really is such a thing and you are VERY lucky if you find it. I think I found mine once - but we were both taken, and didnt persue each other, but the electric shock quality of it was surely there. What would it have been like? I guess I'll have to wait til my next life-time round.

Cooking: I LOVE to cook for hungry men. There is nothing more satisfying for me than to satisfy a man with a big appetite.

Spooning: Just plain love it.

Virginity: Lost mine at 20.

Interracial: Too many closed-minded people in this verse to make it a comfortable option for me.

Im waiting to
see if I
pass out.

Menage: Hmmm... not my thing. And if Im going to watch an "adult" movie I want it to be something with some substance, not just crude sex. "The Pillow Book" comes to mind and is quite lovely.

RingofFire

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Friday, May 12, 2006 9:34 AM

I'm sorry about the reaction people have had to you and your wife. When my mom got married to her ex-husband, my grandfather wouldn't let her hear the end of it. And it certainly didn't help that we lived with my grandparents at the time. But at least he (the ex-husband) wasn't in the country at the time. Even though I'm black myself, I still can't understand why race seems to be such a problem for some people. Take the show for instance. The idea of race is an archaic one, and there's no evidence that it affects the way people relate to each other (of course, class still seems to be an issue, but then, people will always find a way to divide themselves). Sadly, in our society, race probably separates us more than anything else.

Sorry about the rant, I do tend to get carried away sometimes.

At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 9:44 AM

Nothing wrong with getting carried away about a subject that you feel passionate about. The really weird thing about our relationship is when I first met her dad he didn't like me. He wanted his daughter to be with a black man even though he married a white woman. Our first meeting was uncomfortable to say the least. I can gladly say that now we are the best of friends. We are constantly at her parents house and there has been numerous occasions in which my father-in-law and I have done things with just the two of us. People can change. It just takes a lot of growing up on their parts. I'm not worried about what people say now, because I know I'm the better person.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 9:50 AM

DeepGirl, the rant is totally acceptable. I was brought up color-blind, and when I moved to the South, I was a bit shocked at the attitudes down here. Granted, they are getting a bit more tolerable, but still, prejudice against loving who you love pissed me off. I have only ever dated once out of my race (white), and that was a Japanese girl in high school. Even that was kind of a no-no around here, which surprised me to no end. Love is and should be color-blind.

Ok, pardon my mini-rant.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 10:12 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by deepgirl187:
Sadly, in our society, race probably separates us more than anything else.....

Sorry about the rant, I do tend to get carried away sometimes

Don't be sorry for the rant... really, sometimes that's what keeps me sane... a good rant can work wonders. That and primal screaming...

You're right about society... it is very sad. I've seen some ugly things in my lifetime concerning race relations. I grew up mainly in the south...Texas mostly... and the racism problem exists today... (remember Vidor?).... When i was young, i just couldn't understand the problem. I had friends of different race....black, brown & white.... but probably fewer white friends because i knew more black kids. I always thought the prejudice i saw was just the result of small town ignorance, but as i grew older and traveled around this country i was disappointed to find racism everywhere.

Maybe that's one reason i like shows like Firefly.... like you said, the idea of race is archac. Hopefully (in the real world) it won't take so long for people to get over this issue. We would all certainly be better for it.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 5:48 PM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Wow, so much has happened since I've been gone!
Mmmmm, okay, so men being more visual I think is accurate. I have found visuals very... pleasing before, but not as much as men seem to. Oddly enough, audio stimulation almost gets to me more; a really sexy voice gets to me more than a really sexy picture. Of course there's nothing can match pure kinisthetics.
Now the inter-race question: the second girl I ever kissed was black. She was absolutely gorgeous, too. Want to talk about double taboos; and inter-racial lesbian couple! Woo-hoo! We weren't really a "couple" but you get what I'm saying. Unfortunately, it didn't work out for us; we pretty much had the one make-out and that was it. Our friends thought we were really cute together, but we didn't end up having a lot in common; she had just decided she wanted to kiss me.
Anyway, I guess the point of that little story is that if I'm attracted to someone, it doesn't matter at all what color or gender they are. It can end up mattering what creed they are, depending on just how much we clash in our beliefs, which I find very unfortunate, but there you have it. I mean, really it's the same with any kind of beliefs; I admit I just couldn't respect someone who hated Firefly, so how could I date them? And someone who honestly believed that the devil needed to be purged from me with fire... Well, you get the idea. If someone is compatible with me, though, it doesn't matter to me what they look like outside, and it shouldn't. It's shiny how many of us think that!

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 6:06 PM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

So I just thought of a question for you shiny people here: I at one point had a boyfriend who said lust and rage felt basically the same to him. That was a little freaky to me, but apparently he's not the only one. I've known several people (only one or two of them being female) who got 'horny' when they were angry, or got their anger out with sex. I do not understand this; I've never had that response to being angry. When I'm angry I want to kick my heavy bag or scream and yell or go for a run, but I never, ever want to get it on in such a mood. So I'm wondering if anyone here might have a clue about the supposed tie between lust and anger. And am I the only one who thinks the people who experience that on a regualr basis are a little addlepated? It just don't seem right to me, nor makes any sense.

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 6:42 PM

Ah, PhoenixRose, that sounds a lot like something called battle-lust! It's not quite the same as anger or rage, but it's close. A bit of backstory for those that don't know:
I am a fighter. By that, I mean I fight other people with medieval implements (swords, polearms, etc). I have been an SCA fighter, a live steel Ren Faire fighter/choreographer, and a backyard, pvc-pipe weapon fighter. While fighting, adrenaline builds up in your system, the blood pounds through your veins, and all your senses are at their highest. It is a contest between two (or more) humans, and there is very little that compares to that. Ok, no, we aren't out to really kill each other or cause serious harm, but I think you get the idea. So, if you fight enough, and enjoy it, you reach a point called battle-lust. Basically, you either want to fight more, or you want to grab the nearest member of the opposite sex and go to town. No, I do not get off on pain...as a matter of fact, if I do get hurt, I am usually not thinking about sex, just trying to find the first aid kit

. My wife is also a fighter; I actually trained her to be a Ren Faire fighter. She, too, experiences battle-lust. I can tell you from experience that the absolute best sex we have usually follows one of these sessions. Up until recently, we had not fought, but just got back into it this week, and already, things are phenomenal.
Sorry if that was TMI, but I felt I had to share. I know it is not the rage or anger you spoke of, but the emotions can look the same to an observer. I can say that lust and armed conflict can feel the same to me, and some othee people as well.

Does that answer the question at all?

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Friday, May 12, 2006 6:56 PM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Yeah, that makes sense in a way. I can see lots of adrenaline causing such an effect. I was talking about just everyday anger, though; my ex that originaly talked about it actually said "A surge of rage feels the same as a surge of lust" which I think is a little different than adrenaline building and making you a little more lusty. Maybe they're related, though. At least, it makes a little more sense to me than before.

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Saturday, May 13, 2006 12:38 AM

Hmm... I don't know if anger and lust necessarily feel the same to me, but I've noticed in the past something of a connection. I remember this one girl I was dating was very high-maintenance (which caused troubles because I tend to be quite a bit more low-key.) Anyways, I remember times when she wanted to make out and I wasn't in the mood. Wasn't terribly healthy, but alot of times I sort of acquiesced and we'd end up playing this "game" were she'd try to slip me some tongue and I'd sort of resist. Thing I noticed, though, was that while I'd be getting annoyed and such, it also turned out to be a huge turn-on. (She usually won most of those battles, actually :) I can't really say why though.

Again, not exactly the same as anger, really. More like her pushing my buttons just got me more excited.

________________________________________________
You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

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Saturday, May 13, 2006 2:01 AM

There's definitely a link for a lot of people between 'negative' emotions and love. Most of sadism is based around the idea of showing love by inflicting pain. However most establishment forces are incredibly against the promotion of idea; most films about sadism are censored, especially if it is about a man dominating a woman.

As long as you can tell in your mind which one is rage and which one is lust, it should be all right.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 3:53 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

OK, this thread needs to be revived, so I'll ask a silly little question that I am nonetheless curious about:
Men, how do you decide about facial hair? It has always confused me; I'd think it would be hot and itchy but there are men who always wear beards, and others who can't make up their minds! From my own point of view, I really don't like it very much. It has been known to chafe my delicate skin, esspecially mustaches. Are there any thoughts on this at all?

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 3:59 AM

I can understand the scratchiness factor, but personally, I think that some men look funny without facial hair.

*************************************************

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:27 AM

Hmm... not terribly sure myself, actually :) I'll agree with DeepGirl, though. Some people just need a beard.

In my own experience, I tend to experiment more after I've grown some stubble for a few days. It's pretty easy to experiment the next time I shave, and if it doesn't work I can just get rid of it.

I remember when I first started getting some peach fuzz back in school, I cultivated quite a pair of mutton chops. At least from my viewpoint, nothing says "manly-man" like a well-groomed beard. Likely that whole macho factor again. :P

________________________________________________
You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:35 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Well, yeah, if someone has a weak chin or something I can see that a beard looks good; but beards don't scratch me as much. Unless the natural facial hair is just appallingly corse, a little beard can be fuzzy and actually nice in its own way.

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:35 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Heh, maybe I'm not that drawn to beards because of the macho factor

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:35 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Nothing to see here. Crazy computer went on a posting spree without my permission. There are many extras and I am sorry!

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:35 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

This post should not exist.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:35 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

And neither should this one

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:35 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Yep, just keep goin...

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:35 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

*sigh*

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:35 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

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