Male and Female Imponderables Part Deux by Tristan

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Blast it!

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:35 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:35 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

OK, how the hell did I post this many times?

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:49 AM

EMMARIGBY

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
OK, how the hell did I post this many times?

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

LOL! I thought I was having a groundhog day moment there! Seems like your computer has amost as much of a personality as mine. [winces at the horrid squeal] Of course his is a very nice personality... Oh, no! Please don't eat my work!!!

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 5:00 AM

NUCLEARDAY

lmao! I think that may be a new record.

________________________________________________
You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 5:31 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

The sad part is this isn't the first time this has happened to me, and I still don't know how I managed it! Some kind of insidious shortcut I hit somehow, planted by the Alliance to damage my calm!

So! Perhaps moving on here, I'm wondering about how much you want to know about someone when you first start going out. Do you want to know all or most of their crazy little quirks from the get-go, or do you prefer a slow build up to such knowledge? I'm also wondering if it matters, because there have been times in my past where someone I was dating would "realize" something about me that they'd actually been told in week one, and be all freaked out by it. Anyone have thoughts on this?

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 6:02 AM

NUCLEARDAY

Hmm... good question.

I suppose it matters just how "crazy" the quirk is :) Can't think of anything specifically that would be a deal-breaker, but I'd likely want to know earlier on.

Other hand, I think the better I know someone, the more accepting I'd be of some of the more interesting aspects of their personality once I found out what they were. Also, half the fun is getting to know your partner anyways, so I suppose I'd prefer more of a slow build up of knowledge. I think people would have a harder time hooking up if everyone knew everything up front :P

________________________________________________
You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 3:14 PM

PhoenixRose,
Seems I missed a couple of your posts...I'll try to catch up.

Facial hair: It may just boil down to laziness sometimes. I have a moustache and goatee (I can't grow a full beard...) that I ususally leave alone for a month or so, then get bored one weekend, shave it off, and let it grow back. My facial hair grows quite slowly; I don't get a five o'clock shadow for almost a week. I know men that don't shave because it takes too much time...others because they think it makes them look more manly...to each his own.

Quirks: Oh, yes, I would really like to know about the serious quirks before getting really involved with someone. The minor ones, I like to find out as time goes by. I really enjoy a relationship that throws new things around every now and then.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:09 PM

If no one minds if I jump in?....

I like a good mustache - not too full coz I want direct access to the lips under it!! Beards I dont care for as they obscure too much of the face. I like bare skin.

And now I cant remember the other thread.

If someone tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:19 PM

Oh...yes...quirks...

Well, I would really like to know about the big ones up front. The little things are just what make a person interesting.

If someone tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:20 PM

RingofFire,
Welcome to the discussion! No one minds if you jump in at all. The more the merrier!
I am pretty sure you are aware of how this thread works, but just in case anyone else finds us and doesn't know:
We are a thread attempting to work out the differences between the sexes using a question and answer forum. No topic is taboo; anything you have ever wondered about you can ask, and either side will try to answer as best we can.

Peace and happiness through understanding!

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:47 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
RingofFire,
Welcome to the discussion! No one minds if you jump in at all. The more the merrier!
I am pretty sure you are aware of how this thread works, but just in case anyone else finds us and doesn't know:
We are a thread attempting to work out the differences between the sexes using a question and answer forum. No topic is taboo; anything you have ever wondered about you can ask, and either side will try to answer as best we can.

Peace and happiness through understanding!

Holding until you get back, Captain.

Thanks, Tristan, for the welcome!

Im not sure its possible to work out the differences between the sexes. In alot of ways its really the differences that I like. I really LIKE that men are stronger - at least physically - than women and I LIKE that they they have different emotional levels. Otherwise we would all be the same and things would be kinda gender-LESS. Is this out in left field? Maybe Im too conventional, but I like comfort (and sex) and protection from a man. I dont require that a man know why I feel blue (unless he really wants to know) - all he has to do is recognise that I do and act accordingly. If I want understanding and empathy I go moan to my girlfriends coz there's no work involved in explaining to them how I feel...they already just know. This is not a put-down on men, I just like the difference they bring to a give situation.

If someone tries to kill you, you try and kill them right back.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 4:53 PM

Well, ok...maybe we won't figure each other out, but it is fun trying! If anyone can hash out problems, it's a shiny group of Browncoats!

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 8:02 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
Well, ok...maybe we won't figure each other out, but it is fun trying! If anyone can hash out problems, it's a shiny group of Browncoats!

Holding until you get back, Captain.

You are so right - its the trying to figure it out that IS the fun part!

Could be bumpy.
Always is.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 9:35 PM

VERASAMUELS

My hubby has a beard; he conditions it along with the hair on his head when he shampoos and it's not at all prickly. Can be highly erotic in certain circumstances .

Vera

Devout Keeper of Jayne's Lunchbox

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Sunday, May 14, 2006 10:34 PM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

We probably will never fully understand the opposite sex, but a some amount of understanding is good, I think. I've already learned a lot!

Hrmmmm, I don't have any questions right now. Maybe I'm all out. Maybe it's just because my brainpan is sleep-logged.
Anyone have any?

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Monday, May 15, 2006 4:42 AM

I am pretty sure we have all learned a lot...I have, too!
I have a question for all involved on the whole issue of jealousy. I guess it's a question of security...how much "control" do you put on your partner's activities in regards to social contact? For example, are you comfortable with your significant other having friends of the opposite sex? Are you ok with them going out on the town with them without you?

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Monday, May 15, 2006 5:29 AM

LYSANDER

Well, I guess I don't put much control on my wife at all. The biggest share of her friends are male. For some reason, most of her female friends turn their friendship into a competition. I don't mind her male friends. I know all of them and they know what kind of person I can be. Plus, I have complete trust in my wife (not to say that you guys don't). She also has to go out of town for her teacher workshops. I don't get to pick the people she goes with so there is usually both sexes. Overall, I don't have any jealousy or control problems in those instances.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

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Monday, May 15, 2006 5:30 AM

LYSANDER

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Monday, May 15, 2006 7:19 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

My last boyfriend had several friends of the opposite sex. I was fine with it because, you know, he had chosen to be with me. Of course he would make new friends, and sometimes I would get a flash of jealousy when he talked about them; one in particular. But I never minded if he went out without me (we lived in differnt cities, it would have been hard for him to do anything if I minded!) though I didn't really like him going out with just one of his female friends (one in particular) without me. But I don't think I was unjustified in that; for all I know she's the real reason he broke up with me.
Anyway, I guess as long as there's not a lot of over-the-top sexual tension, I really can't mind, can I? I try not to be jealous because it really annoys me to be in a relationship with a jealous person. At least, an unjustifiably jealous person; like, someone who is jealous of all my friends because they're convinced I have some hidden attraction for everyone. If they're jealous of someone I am attracted to, I can't overly fault them for that, I just have to reassure them that they're not gonna lose me over whoever it is. I think that's important too. Little things like a kiss when you get home, or being home when you said you'd be, or whatever you prefer to do, can really soothe most kinds of jealously unless it's completely irrational jealous-for-the-sake-of-being-jealous jealousy, in which case you're in a bad situation.
Oh man, I hope that made sense. I really need to get some sleep right about now.

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Monday, May 15, 2006 7:54 AM

NUCLEARDAY

I try not to be too jealous, but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't happen every once in awhile. Mostly it's completely irrational, and I try not to act too much on those feelings. Just the inner caveman coming up again. I agree it's about trust, though.

I'm also usually okay with my girl going out and doing things without me. I'm usually pretty easy-going. I'm not the sort where I have to be around a person every day all day, and alot of my past failed relationships had at least a little bit to do with her needing more attention than I can give. (I need some "me" time every once in awhile. :)

________________________________________________
You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

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Monday, May 15, 2006 8:25 AM

EMMARIGBY

Well I'm in an unusual situation at the mement in that the guy I'm sleeping with isn't exactly a partner, just a 'friends with benefits' scenario (well, it has been over 5 years since I was last in a relationship!)
We're just passing the time till something real comes along. I've told him that I'll be really happy when he settles down with someone but will of course tone things down to strictly platonic at that point!

I'm not exactly jealose when he goes on about the couple of girls he's crazy about but I gotta say it's not great for the old ego!

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Monday, May 15, 2006 9:38 AM

MAL4PREZ

Hi all -

Fun thread! I've been out of town and off the net, and I'm bummed I missed this. There's so much interesting stuff here that I wish I could have piped in on, and I've only gotten through ~1/3 of it.

I can't possibly type out all my thoughts, but here's my situ: I've had a few years off relationships because I had a bad one, but over the past few months I'm just so ready to go again. Problem is, my standards have gone up. I'm not gonna deal with the crap I did before. I'm also living in a desert of single grown-ups, there's not many options.

It doesn't help that I have weird-ish relationship needs. Especially re the men-do-this, women-do-that stuff. I don't act so standard womanlike, but I love manly men. I've found that the men I'm attracted to have different ideas of a relationship than I do.

I really could be a gay man in a woman's body. What to do?!?

So that's why I'm loving the stuff you were chatting on last week, about what men/women want. I'll keep catching up, and can't wait to see where it goes!

mal4prez

BTW Emma - my last was a friend-with-benefits that tried to go serious. Lasted a few years that way, but ultimately didn't work. It ruined the friendship. Not to be all negative, but I'm just saying... be careful!

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Monday, May 15, 2006 10:33 AM