My 'Too much time on my hands' thread, or if you have a mo'.... by TheSomnambulist

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My 'Too much time on my hands' thread, or if you have a mo'....

POSTED BY: THESOMNAMBULIST
UPDATED: Thursday, May 18, 2006 12:44
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VIEWED: 4668
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Monday, May 15, 2006 12:22 PM

Ok silly question:

You're at a party lets say a dinner party to keep the numbers small.
The guests include:

You - (star attraction for y'know you being you)
Your best friend.
A fox executive
A film critic.
The girl/guy of your dreams
and the host... JJ Abrams (Lost co-creator)

There's a knock at the door when! Woah! Joss walks in, with Morena Baccarin.

Now as the night goes on the party becomes somewhat wild. The fox exec is in the pool drinking champagne and your best friend and his/her partner are in there with him.
The film critic, JJ Abrams and Morena are sitting on the stairs having a heavy conversation about Hitchcocks use of the camera as 'voyeur' in many of his films and the man/woman of your dreams is on the sofa talking to Joss and becoming a little bit drunk.

After what seems like a wasted effort on your part in getting everyone to join you on the dance floor for some fine vintage breakdancing you give up and pick at the left-overs on the table, when you spy, in Joss' bag..... the Wonderwoman script! You seize the moment and snatch the manuscript from the bag and head to the bathroom where you proceed to read the script in privacy!

It is brilliant! Beyond what you'd hoped. Witty, sexy, dramatic and full of great one-liners. There's even a cast list and, yup! Morena is Wonderwoman and Nathan's name is mentioned as the role for the bad guy. Fantastic!!

Full of beans you head back out to the party where everyone is freaking out because Joss has thrown a fit! His script is missing, and everyone is looking for it!

What do you do? Bearing in mind you've been gone so long it'll look like you stole it or at least read it. Going against, as you know, Joss' wishes! So do you:

(1) Take Joss aside and tell him you took it to read on the toilet! and incure his obvious wrath.
(2)Join in and pretend to look for it.
(3)Ditch your friends and sneak out the toilet window, with script in hand.
(4)Go upstairs to JJ's office and leave it on his desk - leaving him to take the blame and subsequent shame, rendering him a thief never to work in Hollywood again and therefore never finding out what exactly happens in Lost.
(5) Befriend the fox executive and try and have him smooth things over with Joss. Some chance!
(6) Distract the man/woman of your dreams and drop it into their bag and then tell Joss you suspect him/her for having nicked it.
(7) Or grab Morena, tell her the good news and then let her evident glee allude to the fact that maybe she stole it.
(8) Your choice.....?

The
Somnambulist - with a little too much time on his hands....

www.cirqus.com

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Monday, May 15, 2006 12:29 PM

CITIZEN

(9) March down and say "Oh, erm, we were out of toilet paper, sorry..."

Not that I think a Joss script is worthy of toilet paper...

I just couldn't resist.

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
And as you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say.

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Monday, May 15, 2006 12:35 PM

DONCOAT

10) Wait till nobody's looking and slip it back into Joss' bag. After a decent interval, say innocently, "Joss, are you *sure* it's not where you left it?" (Idea stolen from Sherlock Holmes)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't disagree on any particular point.

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Monday, May 15, 2006 12:37 PM

MORWEN112

I side with Doncoat! That or pretend to look for it...

Mine is an evil sugar high laugh! Bwahahahaha!

Morwen

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Monday, May 15, 2006 12:39 PM

STILLFLYIN

11) Secretly plant the script in the fox exec's bag/briefcase and hint to Joss that Fox might have stolen it either out of spite or out of an inability to come up anything without him

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Monday, May 15, 2006 12:44 PM

PDCHARLES

What happened? He see your face?

1st join in and start looking...

Push the Fox exec. out the Window (2nd story) as he is looking for the script in the window flower box. Why the flower box? He's/She's an idiot...

Yell at JJ claiming he must of stole it... ME, "Get lost!!!"

Turn to film critic, "Say, was that 1 star u gave Serenity?" Film Critic "Well I...." *a brawl immediatley breaks out between Joss and Critic* The kind with a cloud of dust and random stars and fists poppin' out.

I turn to Morena and the girl of my dreams ... "Good news ladies, drinks on me!"
Head out the door to live happily ever after

My best friend, "Hello... could somebody bring me a cocktail? u know, significant shrinkage."

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Monday, May 15, 2006 1:02 PM

THESOMNAMBULIST

He, he... I thought this may bring out the funnies

www.cirqus.com

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Monday, May 15, 2006 1:04 PM

THESOMNAMBULIST

Quote:
Originally posted by pdcharles:
The kind with a cloud of dust and random stars and fists poppin' out.

Ha! Yup I know the one!

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Monday, May 15, 2006 1:09 PM

PDCHARLES

What happened? He see your face?

Quote:
Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
He, he... I thought this may bring out the funnies

Yeah, u made the perfect setup...

Just thinkin' "Morena and the girl of my dreams" these two may be one in the same.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 12:23 PM

OURMRSWASHBURNE

I'd accidentally on purpose knock Joss's bag over, after first putting the script underneath.

Then I'd frown at him for not casting Gina Torres as Wonder Woman, and have him *wonder* (lol) why I was frowning at him all night. :)

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 12:31 PM

RMMC

Looks like I'm the first one to be an idiot and to be honest.

Yep. I'd go with 1.)

Yeah, I'm an idiot. But my memory sucks so it'd come out later anyway.

****
RMMC

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 1:11 PM

SAMEERTIA

First, I get Joss alone, preferably in a spare bedroom, where I procede to explain that I snitched and read the script and thatI am a bad girl and he may spank me and/or recieve oral sex from me if he will only ever forgive me.

I might also suggest that since I know it now, he may have to actually hire me to work on the film so that I can be kept under a secrecy clause.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 1:31 PM

REDLAVA

I'd go with #8, which is plant it on the Fox exec. and blame it on him so he wouldn't work in the town again.

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006 9:45 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST

Aw hey no way. Not an idiot at all. Just honest I guess

Lemme ask you another question... Would you have taken the script at all in the first place? I asked this once before when Serenity was being written, wether anyone would take that script (in this case if they found it on the bus) and read it before returning it to Joss or indeed just keeping it?

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006 9:48 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST

Quote:
Originally posted by SameErtia:
First, I get Joss alone, preferably in a spare bedroom, where I procede to explain that I snitched and read the script and thatI am a bad girl and he may spank me and/or recieve oral sex from me if he will only ever forgive me.

That made me smile...

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006 9:49 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST

Quote:
Originally posted by Redlava:
I'd go with #8, which is plant it on the Fox exec. and blame it on him so he wouldn't work in the town again.

...and watch the inevitable fisty fight between fox exec and Joss!

THe
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006 9:52 AM

CHRISISALL

Quote:
Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:

Lemme ask you another question... Would you have taken the script at all in the first place?

Boring Chrisisall never touches another artist's work without his permission...

Even after the Mudder's milk Chrisisall

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006 2:23 PM

RMMC

Quote:
Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
Aw hey no way. Not an idiot at all. Just honest I guess

Why thank you. I do try, ocassionally to my own detriment.

Quote:

Lemme ask you another question... Would you have taken the script at all in the first place? I asked this once before when Serenity was being written, wether anyone would take that script (in this case if they found it on the bus) and read it before returning it to Joss or indeed just keeping it?

No, I wouldn't have taken it. I probably would have asked nicely (and privately as I would be sure he wouldn't want other folks to know he had it with him.)

If I was having a particularly weak moment (which I sadly admit happen very frequently) I'd have peeked at it and left it where it was.

Good questions!

*****
RMMC

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006 2:34 PM