Random Degenerate Questions For Fans(Adult Only) by KuangZheDe

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Random Degenerate Questions For Fans(Adult Only)

POSTED BY: KUANGZHEDE
UPDATED: Monday, June 5, 2006 14:24
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Monday, June 5, 2006 7:08 AM

As with many of my post of late, sex has been on the mind, so this may not be appropriate for some children under 18, or for that matter anybody who has issues discussing these topics. You have been warned.

KZD

Well, I am really pumping out topics today. This is going to be a list of questions with no right or wrong answers that I would like to know your opinions on as, it is all in good, degenerate fun.

1- Who is on top? Zoe or Wash (if another postion first comes to mind, feel free to include)
2- How many hookers can Jayne sleep with in a 24 hour period.
3- Kalyee mention batteries, How many batteries do you think fit in her toy and what color is it (as above, if you are thinking of a particular engine component, aslo feel free to mention it)
4- Have Mal and Zoe truely never hooked up (when and where please if yes)
5- How many different men has our faviorite space hooker slept with?
6- Mal Reynolds, would he have finished what he started with saphron?
7- Did Zoe ever get a "mustache ride" from Wash

And feel free to add any questions to this very short list, that if you say you never thought about, "you are full of

"

I wonder if I will get kicked of this site soon?

Kuang Zhe De

The fastest baby eater, east of the Mississippi

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Monday, June 5, 2006 7:15 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

I would say Zoe is probably mostly on top. That or in my favorite position, the "black bee" (which is, in fact, the one used in the love scene between Nandi and Mal)
My guess would be three, maybe four. Guy needs to sleep, after all.
Kaylee's toy is dark pink and holds two batteries (standard for most toys)
Mal and Zoe have not hooked up. He isn't right for her.
Inara has slept with thousands of men. Think about it; even an appointment every week or so would add up pretty quickly.
Yes, if Mal hadn't been drugged, he would have finished what he started. We see an excellent example of this in Heart of Gold.
I don't think it was a "mustache ride" - she would have made him shave it. Mustaches itch. I bet that's why he shaved it, actually.
Can't think of any questions of my own. Sorry. Too sleepy.

**********************************

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Monday, June 5, 2006 7:20 AM

TRISTAN

Interesting post...I'll play along!

1. Zoe. And Wash loves it.
2. I would guess perhaps 4, maybe 5...but he would be useless the next day.
3. Assuming batteries are the same as now, two would do it. It's probably chrome-plated...
4. No, Mal and Zoe have not hooked up.
5. Inara...somewhere in the neighborhood of a fifty to a hundred, I would guess.
6. Beyond the shaodw of a doubt, he would have finished.
7. I think Zoe made him shave it off long before they got intimate.

That was fun.

____________

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Monday, June 5, 2006 7:31 AM

KUANGZHEDE

Regarding how many hookers jayne can sleep with in a day. I think you are not even close to this man apes true potential. After using my patented 5 F steps (mentioned in "how Firefly got my girl back") I had intercourse 5 times on Saturday (after 2 epsiodes back to the bedroom). Now while this was a marathon by any standards, and I was damn proud of myself (KZD pats self on back), I am no where near the sexual prowess of Jayne. I was of course exhausted, but I am no Jayne. Please take this under advisement for future post. I am guessing Jayne could do (including multiple partner affairs) 8-10 hookers in a day. He is just an animal. But just my opinion.

Kuang Zhe De

The fastest baby eater, east of the Mississippi

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Monday, June 5, 2006 8:06 AM

AGENTROUKA

1) I think that's an equal thing both ways. Wash likes her on top (no doubt) but Zoe also doesn't mind when Wash gets a little dominant (see the occasional slap to the bottom..), so I think there's a lot of variety with those two, hehe.

2) Heh. As many as he can afford? I'll leave that for the men to answer. *g*

3) She probably tinkered with the toy to make it more efficient, so one battery. And it's green!

4) No way. Zoe respects Wash enough not to lie to him about that, and really... those two? No way!

5) Let me calculate... I say she's 27, started business when she was 18, once a week makes a nice average... 468 clients alone. Make that 400 for repeat clients.
Then there might be the occasional affair or any male Companions in training, but that number would be unsignificant, considering. *g*

6) I am actually not sure! Saffron plays the virgin, asking Mal to show her the Ways of Love.
Mal just isn't the most confident lover in the world, and though he kisses her with enthusiasm, he might have gotten hesistant again somewhere in there, considering how much hemming and hawing goes on with Nandi, who is an experienced pro. Mal has sex issues, woman issues, self-worth issues and moral issues that might have come up again.
Then Saffron would have needed to get a lot more tricky and pushy and Mal might have wondered just how much of an inexperienced "maiden" she really is. (Not thatSaffron is stupid enough to give herself away like that...)
I give it a 50/50 chance.

7) That is the most icky turn of phrase I have ever heard. Dude. They're married adult people, they've probably done it all!

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Monday, June 5, 2006 8:43 AM

MSG

1-Zoe on bottom- You don't want to be in charge all the time
2- Jayne can sleep with 24 hookers in 24 hours ( he is obviously a man who takes his time and has enough stamina to continue)
3- Most toys only take 2 and it's probably pink and I find it mildly hilarious that every woman said 2 batteries ( gee what does that say about us)
4- Nope it's hard to get it on with people dying nearby( kind kills the mood no pun intended)
5- Dear god who can count that high
6- oh Hell yes
7- hmm lets think about this ...DUH!

Oh and saying Adults only is the fastest way to attract kids

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Monday, June 5, 2006 8:54 AM

KUANGZHEDE

Good point on "saying Adults only attracts kids" but what did you want me to say..Kids only

Kuang Zhe De

The fastest baby eater, east of the Mississippi

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Monday, June 5, 2006 9:09 AM

SIGMANUNKI

1- Probably both as sex with warrior woman can get naughty.

2- From HoG, he seems to pick a fav, and run with it. So, one. But, by choice. Now how many times... don't know.

3- Because it's plural, I'd gather it'd more than one, but I won't guess beyond that.
As for colour, I'd say it's pick with frills.

4- No.

5- I think she even lost count.

6- Even he admitted he was going to the special hell.

7- No. That seems to be the reason for her not liking him. I imagine that after he shaved, she took another look and became interested.

Quote:

if you say you never thought about, "you are full of "

Actually, I haven't. But, I think that just says that my mind isn't as in the gutter as yours

----
I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Monday, June 5, 2006 9:31 AM

KUANGZHEDE

But you have thought about it, how else did do fill out the questions?

It is a "trap" statement

If you say you NEVER (and we know that is no longer the case) thought about it..etc

Your mind is in the gutter

, I got these questions from...from...uh...a Glamour Magazine...yeah...yeah...thats the ticket

Stay Shiny and thanks for responding

Kuang Zhe De

The fastest baby eater, east of the Mississippi

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Monday, June 5, 2006 10:06 AM

SAMEERTIA

In the love scene we see between Zoe and Wash, she assures him he knows all the steps. That tells me that she lets Wash be on top.

I thought a Mal/Zoe scenario was impossible until I wrote one...but I think it would have been about what I wrote- one night, regretted. *shrug*

Kaylee has more than one toy. Probably three or four- girl's got to have one for every mood, you know!

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Monday, June 5, 2006 10:14 AM

SIGMANUNKI

Quote:
Originally posted by KuangZheDe:

Your mind is in the gutter

But, you put it there

----
I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Monday, June 5, 2006 10:31 AM

KUANGZHEDE

Got me there

Stay shiny

Kuang Zhe De

The fastest baby eater, east of the Mississippi

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Monday, June 5, 2006 1:00 PM

VOLK564

1- I'm thinking Wash. Zoe may be dominant outside the bedroom, but I have a feeling that that changes in the bunk.
2- 5. No more, no less. And one threesome. With two women, mind you - Jayne ain't a share-er.
3- Kalyee's toy runs off of a perpetual motion device and is bright pink with black and yellow polka dots.
4- Nah, no way Mal and Zoe would hook up. Mal is Zoe's CO - that would make their professional relationship strained on many different levels. Plus you'd see some hints to it in the show.
5- I'd say 225, and that's a low estimate, as I don't think the show tells us how long Inara has been space-hookering. If we assume once a week, and approx. 5 years of...working...that amounts to about 250 weeks, and we can knock off 25 for the times that she couldn't get a client.
6- No way. Before Saffron went crazy seductive on him, Mal was stalwart and teaching her how to be her own woman and stand up for himself. In fact, if he HAD slept with her that first time and she hadn't turned out to be evil, he'd probably feel much worse than the average sermon from Book could make him.
7- Nah. As has been pointed out earlier, she'd have made him shave it.

Fun questions.

-Volk

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Monday, June 5, 2006 1:09 PM

THENEXTMRSREYNOLDS

Hello! Wash and Zoe are happily married, which means they do it every way possible...but Zoe decides.
And Kaylee has a pink Rabbit Pearl or whatever the future equivalent is.....it's the best and has the most features, as a mechanical person she would love it!
Mal would have done it with Saff- he is human after all, but he would have felt like he took advantage after.

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Monday, June 5, 2006 1:53 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER

Quote:
Originally posted by KuangZheDe:

1- Who is on top? Zoe or Wash (if another postion first comes to mind, feel free to include)
2- How many hookers can Jayne sleep with in a 24 hour period.
3- Kalyee mention batteries, How many batteries do you think fit in her toy and what color is it (as above, if you are thinking of a particular engine component, aslo feel free to mention it)
4- Have Mal and Zoe truely never hooked up (when and where please if yes)
5- How many different men has our faviorite space hooker slept with?
6- Mal Reynolds, would he have finished what he started with saphron?
7- Did Zoe ever get a "mustache ride" from Wash

And feel free to add any questions to this very short list, that if you say you never thought about, "you are full of "

For me, gotta answer with the follwoing:

1. Wash...cuz our favourite married couple have a compromise. Zoe's in control of things outside the bunk, but Wash gets behind the wheel in bed. Everything's fair and equitable...and I like to think Wash has had a slight bit more practice with intimate relations than Zoe has overall

2. Like someone else said, it's about the cashy money. Jayne could theoretically have the stamina to sex up a hooker every hour on the hour for day straight, but he would need the finances to support such endeavours. However, I like to think that Jayne's relatively vanilla when it comes to partner numbers...1, maybe 2 parnters in a night. I like to think of Jayne being someone who appreciates quality over quantity

3. One battery for any toy...cuz it's freaking nuclear powered or something. Kaylee's a mechanical genius and technology should have progressed to allow for decent miniturized power sources. Probably would need charging or new power packs every so often though. And the colour? Something feminine, I presume. Maybe a nice medium shade of pink or purple...

4. A Mal/Zoe hook up? Possible but probably not likely. If they did hook up, it was early on and short-lived, giving them time to realize their incompatibility as a couple and their strength as friends. Wouldn't be a lie really, if they were only intimate to certain (i.e. non-penetrative) degree.

5. Honestly? I would go a lot less than most people would estimate, and not for the assume reasons...maybe 75 to 100 at the very most. She's not a whore, so she has carefuly control of her clients; she would only be intimate with the clients she wanted to be intimate with, and not all of her service contracts would be for sexual reasons.

6. Personally I wanna say he would have gotten to a certain "make or break" point and then come to his senses. Not cuz he can't be intimate with anyone beside Inara (Nandi shows that argument falacious), but because he didn't feel anything for Saffron other than lust. He would have forced Saffron (unintentionally) to show her hand by having her go on the offensive and the end result would have been a tad different (no Inara smootching Mal while he's unconscious).

7. Doubt it highly, KZD. Most Browncoats have assumed Zoe really didn't come to her senses till Wash sacrificed Paco (some fan's name for Wash's lipfuzz, not mine) to the alter of Zoe. Even if she did get funky with Wash while still facially histute, she probably would have made him shave so he wouldn't tickle/irritate her intimate spots

Just my 2 platinum, though

BlueEyedBrigadier

Literature has shown us some of humanity's greatest achievements; history, some of our greatest failures -- Alun Lewis

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Monday, June 5, 2006 2:04 PM

AGATSU

For some reason, I just pictured Wash in bed with Zoe, and he's wearing nothing but an old pilot bonnet with flaps, plus goggles, going "Everything looks good from here. Yes... Yes.. This is a fertile woman and we will thrive. I will rule over all of this woman and I will call her.... This Woman."
And then he'd put on the goggles and make engine sounds with his lips and, well, go for a daredevil dive.

Wasn't that somewhere in the deleted scenes?

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Monday, June 5, 2006 2:24 PM

VINTERDRAKEN

1- I think they switch from time to time. But I think Wash is on top most of the time.
2- Im guessing between 5 and 10.
3- 2 batteries. Not sure about the color though, pink perhaps.
4- Nope
5- Think she has lost count long ago
6- Yes, but he would probebly have felt ashamed about it later.
7- Nope, he shaved it off as soon as they started to develop something.

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Monday, June 5, 2006 2:24 PM

VINTERDRAKEN