Male and Female Imponderables--Post-Resurrection by Tristan

Tristan -

Man - Is my wife happy? I'm I getting it right?
*asks wife, wife says yes/no, maybe with a few provisos (you could wash up more, I like it when... etc etc)* ok, great/that stung a bit, but I washed up blah blah!/ ok, try to remember that.
Is she telling me the truth? *Observes asks again maybe, etc.*
After reassurance, satisfaction.

Woman - Is my husband happy?
*asks, husband, same relpy*
What did he mean by that? Is he telling me the truth? oh god, did he hate it? Is he just humoring me? Am i a bad wife? Am I a bad lover? Oh, how long has he been hiding it from me that he didn't like it when....? Why didn't he tell me before? I should have guessed, I should have known! Why didn't I see it before! oh no, is our relationship failing? What do I do!?!

Calm down you daft cow, ask him again...

after reassurance, and more reassuranc, and more rassurance - nagging doubts.

I don't mean that men are simple, I just mean that they don't over analyse everything - there is an entire literary genre based on the fact that women overthink everything.

Of course, gross generalisation.

As for the dominance thing.and the feminist thing, and the efficiency/chivalry thing, I do agree with everything that has been said.

I don't call myself a feminist, i'm aware of the issus and cases like the one described above really get my goat. I think that all individuals, male female and indeterminate, should be seen in laws and human rights as totally equal. And thats right from getting paid the same for the same job to not being stoned to death for likeing the wrong guy. Right on down to manners like holding doors for each other, as the situation sees fit.

Saying that, women and men, personally, are very different creatures, for very necessary reasons - there are things that men can do and women can't and vise versa, thad there are behaviours, like protectiveness that are ingrained, like male protectiveness. So things like that don't irk me. Infact, being very feminine, I'd never admit it at the time but I kind of like it. What idon't like is when i'm treated like an idiot, not trusted to live my life and make decisions (that i'd been doing perfectly well at before) by some overbearing moron with a superiority complex. (the phrase 'don't you worry your pretty little head' springs to mind) Based solely on the fact that i'm a woman.

I'm sure there are more succinct ways to say this)

What I want is a partner who is a fully rounded person, with their own distinct personality and opinions, their own life, experience and allsorts, I hate those couples who become two halfs, with only a pair of tits on one to tell them apart. And in return to be acknowledged as an entire person myself. I like the looking out for each other and the protecting each other and the doing things for each other, but I don't need them and I certainly wont have them foisted upon me.

I'll edit this down at somepoint.

And wolverine - yes, in the comics he is a very different animal (literally sometimes) but in the movie his is attractive. And I suppose it doesn't hurt that he looks like Hugh Jackman.

**********************************************************
Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Friday, June 9, 2006 8:06 AM

Seryn,

Thank you for the example. I think I understand what you mean now!
Yes, it usually only takes an assurance and then maybe one reassurance before I am satisfied that things are "ok"...but then again, I do not believe in hiding when something is wrong. I may let a few minor things bottle up for awhile, but if something is bothering me, all those involved are well aware of my feelings post-haste.
No need to edit, Seryn, thank you for being who you are!

NVGhostrider, I may talk like I am looking for a fight, but I really am not. The last time I was in a fight was in ninth grade, and I have never drawn my gun in anger. I can be very diplomatic when necessary, and am also not hesitant about vacating the vicinity of trouble. I will stand my ground if I believe there is no other way. I like to keep things happy

.

____________

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Friday, June 9, 2006 8:15 AM

NUCLEARDAY

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Chivalry: Good stuff if it's not over the top. I personally think holding a door is polite, whether it's for a man OR woman. I hold doors for other women all the time. Just seems like the thing to do. Holding a car door, or a chair can be unexpected and cute once in awhile, but it can get old real quick. Having to wait for a guy to get out of a car, come around to open my door so I can get out? No thanks. It's not efficient and makes no sense to me. That's when it becomes annoying.

I've found that for me, half the fun of playing the chivalric male is figuring out ways to work it in efficiently. Opening doors is easy, usually, if you do it right. I don't like to make a show of it or anything, unless it's for a good laugh like Tristan said. Part of the point is being subtle about it. It's like Simon: it's about respect more than anything. I think partly the chivarly thing is just to show we care. (Especially 'cause we're not always so good with the expressing our feelings part.)

Certain things just don't work, though. Like cars. Getting in, sure, if I'm driving and it works out that we get to the passenger-side first. Leaving, though: I can hardly expect someone to wait in my stinky car while I go around to the other side just to let her out :)

________________________________________________
You can take my Browncoat when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

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Friday, June 9, 2006 8:25 AM

I understand the whole threat asessment thing. Working with kids really lets you know about that whole flight thing quick, fast, and in a hurry. It feels like I've missed half my life watching and protecting and the like. Training seems to do alot of things to people and their personal lives. I would like to say that I have not had a physical altercation in either my personal or professional life in over three years. Isn't diplomacy such a warm and caring bitch. Keeping things all peaceful and stuff. Won't let the bad little boys out for air. As for the gunplay... We'll leave that for more private forums.

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Friday, June 9, 2006 8:37 AM

INTERLAKE

hope i can jump in...
my hubby asked the other day if i wished he held the door for me more(he was good untill we moved in together then he stopped)at the time i shrugged and said "i d'unno" but as im reading your comments i got to thinking its the little things that keep a marrige going its easy to take care of the big things together when you still feel like a team and you feel more like a team when you know you apreciate each other- Chivalry boils down to showing respect and apreciation to the other party and it goes both ways

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Friday, June 9, 2006 8:43 AM

RUGBUG

Although I fear being the thread-killer here with my tame questions, got another one for ya....

If rules of ethics prevented you from asking a girl/guy out, would you abide by the rules or risk it if you were interested enough?

(Yes, this is personally motivated.

I'm sort of interested in a guy who is a health professional. Problem is, I was his patient. He seemed interested and let it slip that dating patients is a no-no. I am no longer his patient, but am still a patient at his office. I vacillate between him not being interested at all, he's following the rules, and disinterest on my part because this is dragging out and I'm getting bored with it all.)

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Friday, June 9, 2006 8:47 AM

INTERLAKE

alittle sketchy but go for it you only live once...

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Friday, June 9, 2006 8:59 AM

RugBug, GO ASK HIM NOW!
*ahem* Sorry. Never stop to question these things...go with your impulses...may turn out to be the best thing you ever did. Even if it turns out badly, you will never have to say "what if". Just my humble opinion.

____________

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Friday, June 9, 2006 9:07 AM

I would say go for it, but i'm always hesitant on that score. Its not really ethics, but ialways made it a rule not to date my friends relations (brothers, ex's close cousins etc) And one time I broke that rule with a college friends brother. And I got STUNG.
Remember I said after one break up I felt nauseous for three weeks? well yeah. It was the closest i've ever come to being in love instant mutual attraction on both fronts, and he finished it bacause his sister didn't like the idea.
I could actually have killed him, and her. (Especially as less than a year later, she started messing around with an ex of mine - he was only the rebound guy, but still!)

so yes, go for it, but be bloody careful.

Yes, I'm going to stop editing - went back and removed the more flowery prose from my post on men, then had to go back and put it back in again, cause Mal said she enjoyed it, and of course I couldn't remember, so its probably even more flowery now.

**********************************************************
Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Friday, June 9, 2006 9:20 AM

ok, another question for you.

In my experience, when men get a sports injury, or badly hurt themselves - break a let or get shot or something (on tv, never actually known anyone get shot personally) get run over, develop a blood infection, or break an arm in a bad tree/climbing harness/heavy equipment interaction, are perfectly sanguine about it, 'oh, just a little thing' 'it looks worse than it is' 'just a little infection, ididn't know you'd be worried'* 'it was nothing really, you should see the tree'.
The manly man routine, stoic and gruff - 'everyones makin a fuss'

And then you gat a cold, and revert to a helpless snotty whining three year old.

WHY? why oh why oh why?

*no dad, of course we wern't worried when you went completely awol, gave us one call to say you were a bit ill, then turned up two weeks later saying you'd been in hospital.

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Friday, June 9, 2006 9:23 AM

You shouldn't edit what you type in here...it's a better indication of your feelings if you can't tinker with your own words

.

I am sorry you got hurt. A good thrashing would have been in order!

We here all love you, just remember that!

____________

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Friday, June 9, 2006 9:25 AM

Been there. Amazingly enough with Ms. Incredible. (I know it may be a bit annoying having to hear about her but she is the only good thing I have going right now). We worked in the same office together for a short while last year. I did cross the boundry by asking her to the Company Christmas party. Politics ended up in the way and we didn't end up going. Despite the Company and other factors getting in the way. I feel very posative about asking her out now. Trying is all you can do. I feel it to be much harder to do nothing. Besides, we don't live forever so take as many educated chances as possible.

Seryn: I think most men turn macho in those cases for two reasons.
1.Pain management. Men have a lower threshold of pain then women.
2.Pride of course.
The whole "I'm a sick little baby" thing is very annoying to me. I will not do that unless I'm running out all ends, can't eat, can't sleep, and can't work. Otherwise I simply man up and take it. Why others do it, I don't know.
Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Friday, June 9, 2006 9:29 AM

aw thank you!

right back. and

one for the missus too. (just to head off the thumping, I ain't messin with her man!

)

**********************************************************
Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Friday, June 9, 2006 9:32 AM

My darling NVghostrider you are a beautiful soul and desearve to be happy so go for it head first!

An I carried such a torch.......For the Dark Lord

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Friday, June 9, 2006 9:36 AM

SAFEAT2ND

I have to admit, this thread is not what I expected. Not at all.

It hasn't been reduced to childish potty humour, and that in of itself is a very refreshing thing. Add that to the fact that the conversation is intelligent and open minded...

My two cents worth is that chivalry is not dead, but have to agree that it only works if the guy knows the line between chivalry and fawning.

I am also glad to hear that a little softness around the middle is ok.

Seryn, I know some guys that are like that with a cold... I prefer to just sleep it off. I get grumpy when I have a cold so I try to avoid people until it's gone.

As for the injury thing, I'm not sure why guys are like that. I know I'm guilty of it (3rd degree shoulder separation, broken wrist, knee scope, broken nose). I think we see injuries as sort of sports trophies... I dunno. Maybe it's because the pain is localized, whereas with a cold (at least the ones I get) wipe you out whole body like.

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Friday, June 9, 2006 9:37 AM

Our cute little COPILOT emerges. Head first is the only way I know. (Except for swimming. Got a concussion once) Press on COPILOT, I'm the big brown guy in the crowd of BROWNCOATS cheering for you.

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Friday, June 9, 2006 9:41 AM

Safe darlin'! Hello.

I figured it was something like that - injuries being some kind of trophy. Though I would have said it that they were something to brag about in the pub.

**********************************************************
Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Friday, June 9, 2006 9:53 AM

SAFEAT2ND

What Ghostrider said is true too. MOST men do have a lower pain threshold. Plus that men are conditioned from a very young age to "suck it up".

I also think that athletic men in particular, tend to have that wonderful stuff called adrenaline coursing throught their system when said injury occurs. It's a natural pain killer.

Hiya Seryn!
Sorry to butt in everyone.

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Friday, June 9, 2006 9:57 AM

Seryn, thanks! Just to alleviate any paranoia in here...my wife is not a jealous woman, nor would she "thump" anyone for showing me love. We are cool like that.

To the injury thing...if I injure myself very badly, and am unable to drive myself to the hospital, I seek help. Everything else can be taken care of with superglue and duct tape. When I get sick, I have a tendency to be less than pleasant. I don't want to be babied nor coddled, I just want to be left to wallow in misery (no self-martyrdom there, eh?

). Seriously, I really don't like being taken care of, but I know where you are coming from. Big huge manly-men reduced to whimpering puddles...sad, really.

Safeat2nd, thank you for the vote of confidence (no sarcasm meant). We try to keep this intellectual, and it is working so far. We had trouble in the beginning, but all has been well since that ended. Thank you for joining us!

Go, Copilot, go, Copilot!

____________

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Friday, June 9, 2006 10:19 AM

Just one more before I'm out for the weekend. Thanks to all the BROWNCOATS for the much needed support, amuzement, and thoughts. If I was able to help anyone this week, push it forward. All BROWNCOATS may need to be carried once in a while. Looking forward to the 23rd, (can't do much but buy stuff and post like mad). Love you all. Remember: When in doubt, pull it out.

NVGHOSTRIDER

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Friday, June 9, 2006 10:43 AM

RUGBUG

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
RugBug, GO ASK HIM NOW!
*ahem* Sorry. Never stop to question these things...go with your impulses...may turn out to be the best thing you ever did. Even if it turns out badly, you will never have to say "what if". Just my humble opinion.

While this is VERY good adivce, and despite all my talk before about being strong and independent, I am still pretty traditional when it comes to who asks who out.

Additionally, I am HORRIBLE at letting a guy know I am interested (very shy) so let's just say it's not too surprising that I am single.

And, he's a very by-the-book type of guy, so I get the feeling he would turn me down and then there would be months of remaining therapy (physical therapy that is...see info below for explanation) and awkwardness. Blech!

NVGhostRider: I like hearing you talk about Ms. Incredible. I know I hope there will one day be someone who refers to me as that.

Here's to a good date this weekend.

As for men and colds: Good god, you would think some of them were dying. Broken bones and such, and it's 'just patch me up and get me back out there.'

But, as referenced above, I can be the same way. I am 9 months into rehabbing a broken arm (thus the need for physical therapy and meeting aforementioned cutie) and I am lying in the arena (horse dumped me after hitting a jump with his back feet) cracking jokes, trying to hit on the cute paramedics. I tried to sit up immediately after it happened to go get my horse. Trainer was like, "Um, yeah. I'm gonna go call 911." I was like, "is my HORSE okay?"

Pain, schmain.

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Friday, June 9, 2006 10:48 AM

LIGHTMEDARK

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
I've got a question for the guys: What is your feeling on independent women? I am a strong (physically...and emotionally, I suppose) woman who doesn't expect anyone to take care of me or to do things for me
...
Any opinions on the matter?

Well, my first two girlfriends were independant. I think I'm attracted more to the strong woman...but I've come to distrust them. I think it has something to do with the fact that in my mind a strong woman is more likely to cheat (i have a lot of hang ups, haha).

Quote:
Originally posted by seryn:
I don't mean that men are simple, I just mean that they don't over analyse everything - there is an entire literary genre based on the fact that women overthink everything.

I'm overly analytical to a gross degree...I just don't vocalize it.

Quote:
Originally posted by seryn:
And then you gat a cold, and revert to a helpless snotty whining three year old.

WHY? why oh why oh why?

A lot of men are like that (my dad for example), but I'm not. I think it's because I was sick more often than the other kids and school and hence just got used to it.

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Friday, June 9, 2006 10:51 AM

RugBug, ah, I understand. Maybe try the "want to join me for (insert beverage here) afterwards?". That might do it. If not, let your inner cavewoman out; get a club, bonk him on the head, and drag him back to your cave. Guaranteed to work every time!

Ouch! So, was the horse ok?

____________

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Friday, June 9, 2006 11:35 AM

I'm completely the opposite - I get a hundred colds every winter. All ido is get very very annoyed. Absolutely disgusted with the cold for daring to be caught! If its bad enough i'll stay off work and sit in a blanket on the sofa, but the most you'll get are complaints about how dare this cold be so bad and the occaisional 'sorry for sniffing' *wan look*, I still do most stuff for my self, and if i'm not in bed, then its just a case of get on with it.

Injuries! Oh my god. anything above a paper cut a cat scratch or a blister and i whine like nobodies business (Mal with the stab wound? thats me.) Everybody gets told about it (like when fell over St.Georges hall (a big public building in liverpool) or got happy slapped by a pidgeon. In a jokey way, but still, every one has to know. And I get annoyed by my inability to bruise well - dammit I want sympathy!

God knows what I would be like if i was ever seriously hurt.

Actually, the last time I was seriously hurt was when idrove a sewing needle eye first through the palm of my hand. I went into shock. And when idamaged my thumb. Both times I damaged my thumb - shock.

Thats what i do, I go into shock. How useless am I?

Maybe i do need a big hulking man-beast protector. If for nothing else than to drive me to the gp's.

(though what a waste of a big hulking man-beast

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Friday, June 9, 2006 11:44 AM

Seryn,
Oooh, oooh, sewing injuries! This one time, at summer theatre (hehehe) I managed to break one of those leather hand sewing needles and ram the broken end completely through my thumb, nail and all. After the initial impact, and the "...huh, that's gonna hurt in a minute", all I was worried about was not bleeding on the leather.

Just to end the story on an "EWWW!!" note, I ended up having to pull the needle out of my own thumb with a pair of pliers, because the nurse wasn't able to.
Oh, the joys of sewing!

____________

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Friday, June 9, 2006 11:51 AM

RUGBUG

Quote:
Originally posted by LightMeDark:
I think I'm attracted more to the strong woman...but I've come to distrust them. I think it has something to do with the fact that in my mind a strong woman is more likely to cheat (i have a lot of hang ups, haha).

Oh, no, no. I would never cheat. If it gets to that point, I will break up with someone before cheating happens. And I would much rather a guy breaks up with me if he knows he's getting close to cheatin'.

Tristan: Horse was perfectly fine. I was just worried about him as he ran off down the barn road headed to a busy street. As it turns out, I didn't see him race around the corner to his stall and stand there like a whimpering idiot. He didn't need to dump me, he's just a drama queen in horse's clothing.

Seryn: First off, no editing unless it's for spelling.

I liked your flowery post.

Too bad about the bruising. They are good for some sympathy, or what I like, grossing people out. During the arm breaking fall, I ended up with an oddly (nothing broken, sprained or outwardly injured) swollen right ankle that was PURPLE almost to mid-calf. That thing sure got me some sympathy and grossed out its fair share of people.

I didn't really want the sympathy, but it comes part and parcel with the showing off the grossness. Lately I've been grossing people out with my dropped humerus. It sits about an inch and a half below my shoulder socket. I can do some cool stuff with it.

And I rarely get sick. Haven't been in about a year and a half. But that doesn't mean I don't "play" sick from time to time.

Sewing injuries? Ouch...and gross.

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Friday, June 9, 2006 11:58 AM

LIGHTMEDARK

I appreciate that you would...it's just that in my (limited) experience, that's not how it goes :o

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Friday, June 9, 2006 9:39 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

I agree with rugbug, here. Better to end it cleanly rather than lie. Not enough people feel that way, though. I feel your pain, LightMeDark.

Hey, I'm thinking of writing a "User's Manual" for myself, just for fun. Anyone ever done something like that? Do you think it's a good idea? Would you actually ever want to read one?

***********

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Saturday, June 10, 2006 5:08 AM

MSG

Rugbug- I am right with you!! doormats are pointless. I want an equal not a guy who's too scred to say boo and I love protective(not possessive) guys

and eek on all the scary sewing stories..Now I have another reason never to learn to sew. NV- Good luck on the date darlin I can't think of anyone else who deserves it more.

OK and can someone expain happy slapped by a pidgeon??? I am generally familiar with british slang and I've got nothing. Or were you actually slapped by a pidgeon ( which by the way the mental image is making me crumple with laughter)
You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Saturday, June 10, 2006 5:15 AM

MSG

Hey my whole family has been conditioned to suck it up and shake it off..mostly this is good but I have to say sometimes ( like the time I broke 5 bones in my foot and dislocated a joint and didn't go to the doctor) it's less fun. I will agree that guys are generally more conditioned to do it....Just to add a wrinkle to the thread ( ok wrinkled thread sounds weird but I digress) How do all of you feel about guys who cry in public???

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Saturday, June 10, 2006 9:49 AM

I hate seeing anyone cry especially men. Misting up at sad movies or sunsets can be atractive but full on sobbing about anythig makes me want to hide under a rock!
To PhonixRose sometimes I feel like handing out some sort of imformational manual to people I just meet. Kind of like an early warning system.

An I carried such a torch.......For the Dark Lord

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Saturday, June 10, 2006 11:19 AM

LIGHTMEDARK

I agree with copilot. The misting or maybe some tears dropping is alright, but full on bawling is, well, yikes

Having said that, I haven't been able to cry since my grandpa died 5 years ago. It's been too long

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Saturday, June 10, 2006 12:30 PM

yes, full on bawling is more than I can deal with from anyone. I can't even cope with my niece crying, and she's five. (the fake drama queen wailing i mean, not the genuine in-pain stuff)

I don't know, you have to cry at some point, its a pressure release, from stress etc.

But someone stood there crying their eyes out over a tv ad or a picture of a happy puppy? Drip drip drip.

The last time I saw a guy cry was my dad, when his flat burnt down taking everything with it - his wedding ring all his belonging etc. Two tiny tears and a sniff. The time before that was him again, when he told us he and my mother were divorcing. So thats twice in the last 15 years maybe? It kinda wierds me out, because I'm really not used to it, so I couldn't give a balanced opinion. I only ever cry myself out of strees (money worries and shocks)with emotional stuff I just clam up. Recently a man my age comitted suicide in the museum I work in (walked up to the fourth floor and threw himself into the lobby) And the only time I came close to crying was when I tried to explain to someone on here what happended -lumps in throat and stinging eyes, that was it! So Not really around tears that much! But if theres cause, yes, cry.

(actually, the wierdest guys crying thing I've ever seen was an actor sat in front of me who just made himself cry, just spontaneously, that was freaky!)

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Saturday, June 10, 2006 8:46 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Heh heh, didn't take long to put together a brief "info packet" I guess I'm less complicated than I thought (or I forgot a few things) Anyway it was kinda fun. It's not all warnings, though.
Crying in public? I never do it. Well, maybe a tear or two but I don't tend to. In private I sob if I have cause. Sometimes I almost wish men would get wrapped up enough to cry over something; I've yet to see it happen. So I don't know how I feel about it in truth, I suppose, but it would be kinda nice. Like an "oh, hey, you care about something!" moment. Although there have been a few minor freak outs that didn't involve tears, which works about the same. Yeah, I don't know if I made any sense there.

I have a question for the menfolk; I stopped wearing makeup about three years ago. Do ya'll like a woman who wears it, or do you prefer something more natural? I sometimes wear lipstick, but mostly it's just me. The kind of guys I seem to attract when wearing a lot of makeup, or even just dark lipstick, aren't really very attractive people; they treat me like a frickin doll or something. So I just wonder; I took a quiz (bored) about datability or something, and it asked something about spending a lot of money on makeup and clothes, which I don't, and also if my clothes were 1 Worn, 2 Fashionable or 3 Practical (there weren't really enough options to cover everything anyway, I would have picked "unusual" if it were an option) and apparently based on those it said I need to work more on my "appearance" for dating. What? Bah!

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 4:04 AM

SAFEAT2ND

So many things to address...

Men Crying, once again men are conditioned not to cry. That said, there has to be a limit. Crying over a TV ad for a soda pop?? no. A tragic event, there is no shame in being teary, just don't get all melodramatic. I was emotional when my Grandfather died.

Phoenix, I'm not a big fan of make-up on a woman. My wife wears what I call accent make-up. A little mascara and eyeliner and a very natural lipstick. Thats when she actually wears it at all. I think shes stunning without it. The thing I don't like is the press-on French Manicure nails. It's been over done. And yes it is obvious that the nails are fake.

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 2:57 PM

Greetings, all!
A few things I missed...and good ones, too!

Crying: I cry every now and again...usually at movies or songs. I have never cried from being hurt (physically or emotionally)since I was a wee lad, but it wasn't from being taught to "suck it up" at an early age...I was too concerned with the problem at hand to initiate the waterworks.
Now, I have cried because I have been happy. By that, I mean tears in my eyes type thing...that felt good.
I do not deal well with tears in others, though. I become completely useless when someone cries. My only thought is how to get them to stop crying.

I like makeup in small doses. Tammy Faye Baker is a no-no. My wife generally doesn't wear makeup; she does her eyes for work, and "dolls-up" for the ocassional special event. She has a natural beauty (I may be biased, but it is the truth...she is beautiful) and make-up on her has the "BAM!" effect. She does this thing that makes her eyes look huge...usually reduces me to just uttering "damn!" alot...
I do no think all women need makeup and I am a lover of natural beauty. However, there are some women who need something...

And to go along with that...there are some men that should also be required to wear makeup!

Alright, I shall be back tomorrow to chat with y'all again!

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 3:16 PM

I finally cried about the breakup today.
This morning I woke up with my friend instead of former Significant Other and while we cuddled it felt akward. I cuddle with people all the time I just love human contact.
Those little things I never relized now seem enormious! Knowing exactly how to kiss him, that quick peck everytime he leaves the house, cuddlig with him without any sort of akward rearranging, the way we reach for each others hands when we're walking. I cried for all of that today. Then put it to bed forever.
Like the idiot I can sometimes be and I went to his new place to say hi. Looking around I noticed that there is no longer space for me in his life. Someone else's pictures will be in those picture frames someone else will someday take my place take his heart from me. I want this I really do but.....when you're not quite 22 four years is a really long time.
This is a lot harder then I anticipated.

An I carried such a torch.......For the Dark Lord

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 3:24 PM

Copilot, I am not sure what to say. Stay your course and things will be better just seems like a trite comment after your post. We are here for you, and you have our love and support.

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 3:30 PM

Thank you Tristian. I'll be just fine I'm sure. Life is life and time never stops going forward.
Besides the worst anyone can do is kill you!

An I carried such a torch.......For the Dark Lord

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 3:30 PM

Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love

An I carried such a torch.......For the Dark Lord

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 3:57 PM

Copilot, isn't that the opening line of a Beatle's song?

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 4:22 PM

which one? I like listening to the beatles but don't make much of point to memerize stuff.
Oh flowers! For me? Yay!

An I carried such a torch.......For the Dark Lord

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 4:28 PM

Copilot,
Um..."Love, love, love" I think....let me check.
-EDIT- It's actually "All You Need Is Love"...

And yes, flowers for you! Pretty ladies need pretty flowers.

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 4:36 PM

I used to believe that all you need is love. Lived my life accordingly. But aparently you also need to eat sleep and brush your hair regularly.
Yet more things former significant other did for me. Made me eat every day. Made me sleep at least a few hours a night. The brushing of my hair everyday was an accident but it's because of him too. I'm probably only alive because he found me (on a very bad path in those days).
He's so amazing! Why didn't I see those things then? Hindsight really is 20/20! Which is funny because I really am incredably near sighted. I love him so very much!
If only? If doesn't help anything does it? I grew up and grew out of the relationship. First impressions never really go away though.

An I carried such a torch.......For the Dark Lord

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 4:36 PM

JSUSAGI

OOOOOOOOOOOK... Lots of stuff, but I'll try to stay on the main topic here.

First off...Thanks for all the kind words about me hunny! Glad you like my independent streak and my makeup. Um, so, yeah...ok. From here on in, please try not to get too curious about what I say about the male form. You know I love you.

So, what do females find attractive in males? Well, for me it always starts with the eyes. If a guy looks me in the eye while talking to me, he has my attention. I dont really have a favorite color...tend to lean toward the darker varieties; however, shocking blue usually turns my knees to Jello.
As far as the actual form of a man, i like em skinny with a little bit of muscle. If I can wrap my arms around them and they can lift me up, its all gravey. Body builder types just make me cringe. Its like hugging a brick wall. But if he's tall enough for me to put my head on his chest when we hug, yay.
And hair. OMG!!! I LOVE long hair. Tristan used to have it, and I have accepted that I may never see it again, but when it was there it was BEAUTIFUL! There's just something about twisting my fingers in long locks

For me, thats about it. Im more attracted to a guy with a good sense of humor, and likes me for me. I am a very independent woman, I love hanging out with the guys, and if you have a problem with it, you;re not for me. (Thats why I love my husband) I have found I lean towards men with feminine qualities; long hair, graceful fingers, high cheek bones, long eyelashes. I do like to feel protected now and then. There's nothing better than being held tightly by the man you love.
All in all, I think the same question should be posted for men. What do you see in females? When I look at myself, I see a girl with too much around the middle, a "badonkadonk", boobs that aren't quite perky anymore, and that one mole on my nose that has no pigment so it look like a zit. Why am I attractive? So you see guys, women have insecurities too. Maybe thats why we need you guys..too make us feel good.

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 4:43 PM

Everyone! It's my wife! She's finally here!

*ahem*

Sorry, I am much better now.

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 4:47 PM

Copilot.
Oh, mercy. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better about your decision. Everyone will tell you the feelings will go away, you did the right thing, it's all for the best, get on with your life. None of those statements help at all. When you are ready, you will let go. It is good to hold onto the good memories and forget the bad.
We will be here. Remember that. Some of us may not know you IRL, but you are cared for deeply.

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 4:51 PM