Male and Female Imponderables--Yet Again by Tristan

Ok, somehow I managed to bury my own thread...

So, bumping it up above the other Imponderables thread...

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:05 AM

Here's an imponderable:

I've heard about this from a few people. Has anyone had the experience of having one partner that is always cold and one that is always hot? Is this common?

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:08 AM

I am always cold. But I don't have a partner

I have one. Fellow women - WHY would you EVER choose a man over your children? I just don't get this. Why does our society create women that NEED a man, no matter how disgusting, to feel worthy?

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:08 AM

MAL4PREZ

Definitely - I'm always cold, low body temp. Which makes it especially nice to snuggle, as every boyfriend I've had is warmer than me!

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:15 AM

ELOISA

Maybe the hot-cold thing is like choosing partners whose body scent is very different from yours - another sign that the person is genetically dissimilar enough from you to make good babies. Not sure. As for the women, kids and men question, ick. I just feel that if women's personalities are like that, they shouldn't have kids at all. At least they'd avoid hurting the little things.

This is a question that may have been asked before but I haven't seen in its precise form (not that I've had time to read the whole of the other threads). I noticed a mention on the last thread of the male "ladder theory". Admittedly a few male posters debunked it. Guys who didn't, what's your general reaction to come-ons from women quite far down the ladder?

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:15 AM

My guess would be poor upbringing, FMF. If you're raised in an environment where children are not valued, then it's likely you'll adopt the same beliefs. And so, a negative cycle is established.

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It's just an object. It doesn't mean what you think.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:22 AM

I am a bad person. She threatened to kill herself on my doorstep and I offered to help her find a way.

I will burn in hell for sure!

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:25 AM

Deepgirl- yes I swear no matter what season we are always battleing for turning up or down the air conditioning and heater. I swear there is some car out there that has dual climate controls and I bet it was made by some engineer whose spouse drove him nuts over what temp to have in the car.

Future Mrs... Not sure why they do it, only know they should be poked repeatedly with a sharp stick to retrain them or kill them ( whatever works)

Ok and I have a questions. When it comes to cleaning the bathroom, guys do you really think it looks clean enough or do you know it's not clean and you just don't want to have to do it???Because seriously...that's not clean. All surfaces actually have to have no ick on them before it's clean.

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:28 AM

I am always the one that is hot...at night, I need the AC and fan going. My wife likes to be warm, so she has two quilts on her side of the bed...and still manages to steal what little cover I start with!

I think it may be common...most of the women I have dated/shared a bed with have been the cold-natured ones; they need warmth where I didn't. Only met a few that liked the temperature as cold as I did.

I am not a follower of the "ladder" theory, but I generally tried not to turn down anyone. However, I never really received that many come-ons to begin with...guys aren't usually as lucky as you females are in that area...

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:46 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Okay, I'm just catching up on the other thread; boy did I miss a lot! Have to respond to something RugBug said, though, before I read more...
No, I do not like a challenge. I do not like games. I don't like feeling like I have to "catch" someone. If they're interested I want to know about it and act accordingly depending on whether I'm interested; I don't want to dance around in the shit. That is not fun.
Okay, sorry. Going to catch up more now.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:49 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
I have one. Fellow women - WHY would you EVER choose a man over your children? I just don't get this. Why does our society create women that NEED a man, no matter how disgusting, to feel worthy?

Society puts a lot of rules on women that are just stupid. Being married, having children, those are all societal expectations. I can tell you that I am often treated like a freak because I don't want children. That decision MUST mean I am cold, uncaring and "not normal." Um, no. I just don't want kids. I like them well enough, would probably be a decent parent...I just don't WANT them. And I don't get all mushy about the yard apes. When a baby comes in the office, I don't feel the need to go see it. I don't want to hold it, and I certainly don't want to be left alone with it. Keep your chillin' to yourself, please.

As for women choosing men over kids. The kids should be taken away. I was watching Oprah (I was at the gym, not much choice) and the story was about a son who was sexually abused by his stepfather. The mother had divorced the man, but had then re-married him. That's just WRONG. Massivly low self-esteem in that woman.

Coldness: Yes. I am almost always cold. Feet especially. And if my feet aren't warm, I can't sleep. I do like to sleep with the window open, though. Even in winter. Cold room, warm bed.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 5:07 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

OK, I am caught up on the "ladder" discussion and I have to say... I have a man's ladder. Yes, yes I do. At least at first. Does it make me shallow that I tend to become friends with people that I have a least a slight interest in sleeping with? It doesn't always stay that way, but it usually starts out that way. Unless it's a friend I met through someone else kind of thing. If it's someone I meet while I'm out and about and I talk to them and am friendly, there is usually a thought resembling "There is something sexy about you" in the back of my mind. And under the right circumstances, ladder jumping is possible; probably because of the initial attraction I tend to feel.
Chocolate raspberry creams are goooood...
Ghostrider, it is your decision, but if you've been pursuing the woman for that long it might be time to look elsewhere. Don't give up on her out of hand, but don't turn down other opportunities, whether they are "buddies" or the genuine article. Just my two cents.
I am with RugBug in not wanting kids. Not now, possibly not ever, though I can't be sure of that. I would need to know I was ready to take care of them, and that they would have a really good daddy.
Yes, Copilot, I wish it were as easy to connect in real life as it is on the net. Did anyone see my thing WAY back when about how shiny it would be if there were, like, teleport booths on every corner that would transport us all to a secret location so we could talk in real life and hang out?

I had a question, but it slipped from my brain...

My temp fluctuates a little; I do tend to like it warmer rather than colder. Most of my partners thus far have had similar preferences.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 5:15 AM

MSG, I am an absolute fanatic when it comes to cleaning the bathroom. I do not know why, as I am not that freaked about the rest of the house. I go so far as to wash the walls and ceilings with a bleach compound. To give you an idea, it takes me four to five hours to clean an 8X6 foot bathroom...and I can spend the same amount of time cleaning a living room/dining room, kitchen, den, and bedrooms. So, yes, I think I do know when it's clean

That leads me to a question for the females: do you find that males are not good housekeepers? Do you have to go behind them and repair what they started?
On the flip-side; are there any males out there who feel the same way about the females?

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 5:16 AM

MSG

Its not just the bathroom! How bout the kitchen! Men do you REALLY think that "cleaning the kitchen" constitutes pushing all the crap against the back of the counter?

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 5:17 AM

Ok stop taunting me with chocolate....argh!! Anyway, Nv I hope everything works out for you, but if it doesn't the offer still stands to shave her head ,ruin her day, and just grenerally make her very sorry;)
Rugbug- hey I see no reason why you should have to have kids. I really wanted them, but my husband's in your camp so I just enjoy me niece and nephew a ton and to mother my students ( who desperately need it) Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I don't have kids:)
As for the ladder, I have mostly male friends and I have to say I would agree on the difficult to jump a ladder thing, but mainly because I know my friends too well to ever consider dating them ( best friend is a guy I've known since I was 4)

Tristan- oh my god Ihope your wife thanks her lucky stars every day!! Anyway yes I do re-clean after I have pointed out the unclean parts, but all that seems to achieve is an "I don't know what you are talking about" look and some snotty comments about stuff I don't do well.

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 5:22 AM

EMMARIGBY

About the kids, I always said that I never wanted them ever. Now, nearing 28, I feel that maybe I want one a little tiny bit. Unfortunately you can't just have a little tiny bit of a kid so I'll stick with encouraging my sisters to procreate. Then I can be the cool auntie and give them back when they get smellie! My sister is 36 and struggling to get pregnant at present so I may end up having her kid for her (I'm willing, she thinks it's weird!) How would you guys feel about that?

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Hisssssss!

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 5:23 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

My stepdad is a superb housecleaner when he's in the mood. The problem (before we all moved and got separate bathrooms) was that he would "clean off" the counter - literally. All my contact stuff, my hairbrush, and other such essentials I used every single day were tucked away somewhere. It drove me mad. But he did clean the bathroom in a Tristan-like fashion (minus bleach cuz the fumes would linger for days).

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 5:27 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Quote:
Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
About the kids, I always said that I never wanted them ever. Now, nearing 28, I feel that maybe I want one a little tiny bit. Unfortunately you can't just have a little tiny bit of a kid so I'll stick with encouraging my sisters to procreate. Then I can be the cool auntie and give them back when they get smellie! My sister is 36 and struggling to get pregnant at present so I may end up having her kid for her (I'm willing, she thinks it's weird!) How would you guys feel about that?

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Hisssssss!

I wouldn't mind someone being an incubator for me if I really wanted kids and couldn't do it myself. (Hell, I've talked to pregnant women; I might just want to avoid going through that!!) No really, though, if I could and really wanted them, it would be good to carry them myself. But I think it's sweet you're willing to go through that for your sister!
My aunt spent lots and lots of money to have her little girl...

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 5:33 AM

ELOISA

I'm a horrendous cleaner. I'll clean house once every month or so, unless there's a particular reason to do so early. Something just needs to look pretty hygienic to satisfy me. Lavatory's an exception. Need a clean loo at all times. I'm afraid it tends to be my intermittently visiting sister or even more intermittently visiting ex-flatmate who tends to clean up for me...

I blame my father, who hates mess in any form but whose method of cleaning is to complain and yell till someone else does it. I have a similar reaction to making lists - he relies on them, I won't even do shopping lists. Is that a guy thing?

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 5:34 AM

Good morning all. Not much to say except thanks for the support. Indeed, I have not yet thrown in the towel with Ms. Incedible. But, I will press forward with my own life. As for the offers of thuggery and meanness, I may have to get back to y'all on that. So keep the shavers handy and engine warm. I still have chocolate and beer. We may need to throw a shaving party.

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 5:58 AM

Hey have the clippers all ready and standing by. We don't hate her ( unless she messes you up) we just want you to be happy NV

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 6:02 AM

I am at your service. I need to kick some ass.

I have a question manly men:

OK so this guy contacts me after the "lets put mom on the personals" thing. We email back and forth, he gives me his number. I explain that I am sick and sound like a frog, but will call when I can. Couple emails more. Everything is cool. A week goes by - I emailed him yesterday and left a voicemail. No response so far. So at what point do I decide he has blown me off.

On another note - how depressing to be blown off the first time out after 20 years! LOL

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 6:13 AM

I wouldn't assume that yet. Could be out of town, could be cell phone is dead, could be alot of things. That said, keep yourself out there and keep looking. I am sure you will find lots of guys who are interested:)

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 6:15 AM

I do not wish to sound conceited. I was EBOMBED by "interested" men. But alas, only 2 were "interesting" and NONE was FMrF.

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 7:08 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
I was EBOMBED by "interested" men. But alas, only 2 were "interesting"

I know how that goes!

The bane of internet dating. Well, actually... The bane of all dating!

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 9:31 AM

PR, FMF, MSG: Not sure who said not to let this whole ordeal change me. It already has, that may be the reason I can't quit. My whole being is such ablaze right now I have no clue what to do next, (though I have already made up my mind). I may be in full brood mode right now. Took some time, but this too shall pass. May take the rest of the week off to adjust. Just have to avoid the manwhoring, though, it may be fun.

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 9:53 AM

I know this is off topic, but is anyone else having trouble with the site? I couldn't log on for almost three hours, and now it's running slow. Course, I'm on a crappy computer at work, which may explain things.

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It's just an object. It doesn't mean what you think.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:14 AM

DAYVE

it's not just you... i think the server was down for a while....

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:21 AM

Shiny, nice to know I'm not the only one.

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Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:39 AM

DANFAN

Quote:
Originally posted by Eloisa:
I have a similar reaction to making lists - he relies on them, I won't even do shopping lists. Is that a guy thing?

Not necessarily. My wife was/is a MEGA-listmaker. It was she who reprogrammed me into organizing my life via lists. Now, I am a mere shadow of the man I once was... I am powerless to stop listing (writing, not leaning... although some days I also list to one side or the other).

Perhaps it is a predominantly masculine addiction and my wife merely served as an enabler...

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:41 AM

Ok, site seems to be back...I hate it when it does that...leaves me all alone in the black, no one to talk to, no friendly Browncoats around...

*ahem*
I am alright now.

FMF, never give up, never surrender!
NVGhostrider, engine is still warm, and it's not that far of a drive from Alabama to NV to get your back, is it?

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:42 AM

Definitely not a guy thing. Being the anal-retentive person that I am, I have a horrible compulsion to organize things, including making lists. I even organize my CD's alphabetically.

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Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:44 AM

Tristan just let us know and we can just converge and show the obviously defective woman what we do to people like her.... I also hate when the site is down. It's like being cut off mid conversation or something. Anyway, I still think my idea to shave her bald is good. That'll take months to grow back and every time she looks in the mirror she will be reminded of her glaring stupidity in not seeing how great NV is!

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:50 AM

msg, I agree with the shaving idea...mess around with a fellow Browncoat's affections, will she?

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:51 AM

LIGHTMEDARK

Quote:
Originally posted by deepgirl187:
Here's an imponderable:

I've heard about this from a few people. Has anyone had the experience of having one partner that is always cold and one that is always hot? Is this common?

I don't know if it's common, but yeah, I've had that in one of my three relationships. In general, though, it's been like that in all three. I'm always hot (i'm like some sort of super heater, my side of the car is always fogged up).

On other things, I'm a good cleaner...perhaps to an alarming degree. I like uncluttered surfaces, so I do tend to put away things that probably shouldn't be.

On lists, I don't do them, but every gf I've had does (and so does my mom).

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:55 AM

Yup Tristan nothing teaches a woman a lesson live stubble head...OK I hate sitting at my husbands computer he has an air conditioning vent right against the wall and has positioned it so it blows on you while you are at the keyboard. I am freezing right now!

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 11:01 AM

Ah, we're back! I thought IT had finally caught on to me and blocked FFF.net. I was more than a little worried there for a bit.

FMF: Although I am not a guy, I wrote a response to your question then promptly lost it.

Basically it said don't sweat it. If he calls, emails, great. If not, no biggie. (I once had a guy disappear for about a month...We met on New Year's Eve and didn't get around to a date until Feb. I was done with him, but thought "why not?" Turns out one date was one too many, but you never know til ya try.)

Eloisa: Lists are EVIL. Eeeeee-Villllle. Hate 'em. My theory: If I have to make a list to remember something, I've got too much to do and therefore it should be forgotten. I made it through college this way. Never once wrote down a test or assignment due date. They gave me a degree, so it can't be a horrible system, can it?

PhoenixRose: back to game playing. I'm not into game playing, but there's a difference between playing games and wearing your heart on your sleeve.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 11:07 AM

Hey Rugbug I know I think we all had an eek moment as the screen faded to black. However your anti-list system does scare me just a bit:)

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 11:08 AM

Shaking. Shaking bad. Just called Ms. Incredible to find a day to talk. Used my professional Big Boy voice and everything. Had to mention that now might not be the best time to "jaw" things over, (we are each in our respective offices). So she agreed to meet Friday with the reassurance of confirming that morning. This is I hope the last post on Ms. Incredible for at least until Monday. I am weary of the whole thing, and I am greatful for all of your support. Just had to relieve that tension in order to function. May go flirting this evening to tide me over until then. Just keep the clippers sharp and the engine warm.
TRISATAN: I may consider a road trip in your direction for FMF's sake, (see her latest log entry).

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 11:11 AM

Good luck NV..all our clippers are on standby. Just remember if she can't see how great you are..she's roadkill:) So either way it's all good.
And yes I think we need to do something for FMF soonish...

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 11:16 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
Hey Rugbug I know I think we all had an eek moment as the screen faded to black. However your anti-list system does scare me just a bit:)

Heh...the anti-list theory is mine and mine alone. :insert evil laugh: Well, I did meet a professor who once had the same basic theory. 'Course he was 'splaining this to us after missing a class.

As I get older the theory is harder and harder to abide by, but it still hasn't failed me yet. I rarely forget to do something, so....

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 11:30 AM

So I have an Imponderable for y'all. Who likes to cuddle? The last woman I cuddled with was my best friend, (female), in my truck. She seen that I had a growing interest in a co-worker and seemed to become very jealous. That night, she got very drunk and demanded that I take her for a drive. During the drive she was very grabby and affectionate like. So, ladies, does that whole jealousy thing factor in to some of your "plutonic" relationships. And if it does, then how. Just curious. (And also trying to change the subject of my current female problems).

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 11:39 AM

I'm not really cuddly as a general rule, much to my husband's disappointment. However, I am sometimes in a cuddly mood when I'm mopey or cranky. I don't think jealousy is a good cuddling motivator. Cuddling with guys who are friends is more affectionate as far as I've seen( again I don't really like to cuddle)

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 11:45 AM

LITTLEALBATROSS29

The only time I can cuddle is if I'm interested in someone.I am very affectionate, but it does not apply to friends.I have seen many other women be cuddly with their male friends & female ones too.I never understood that.It makes me very uncomfortable.

I can't see being jealous of a friends romantic interest in someone else. Is it possible that she has feelings for you that aren't so friendly like ?

Bryce
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I swallowed a bug.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 12:07 PM

NV, you've got too different questions there.

1. Who likes to cuddle? It's got to be someone I'm with or attracted to (and know well). I'm just not a "touchy" kind of person otherwise.

2. Jealousy in platonic relationships? Sometimes but it fades quickly. It takes a little "hey, he's mine. oh wait, I don't want him that way" and the jealousy is gone.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 12:16 PM