GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

monty python

POSTED BY: GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN
UPDATED: Friday, June 30, 2006 05:16
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 16302
PAGE 2 of 3

Monday, June 26, 2006 12:05 AM

EMMARIGBY


Some of you might know how much of a fan I am of crossovers!


I have many more little gifs I shall be entertaining you with but I shall be leaving you now with this disturbing image!

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 2:13 AM

RHODRI


Quote:

Originally posted by BrowncoatSandinista:
Møøsë Bítës Cån Bë Vërÿ Nåstï.

If anyone gets nosy...Shoot em.
Shoot em sir?
Politely.



A Moose once bit my sister!

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 3:26 AM

EMMARIGBY


Was it from the Camaaaaaarrrrgh?


NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 3:31 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


is that a Penquin on your telly?

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 3:34 AM

RALEIGHBROWNCOAT


"And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 3:48 AM

SWEETSERENDIPITY


Well, I object to all this sex on the television! I mean, I keep falling off!

I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.

What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!


Deb


http://serendipityagain.com/

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 3:52 AM

EMMARIGBY




More Holy Grail moments! (Because I'm too bored to work!)

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 6:49 AM

HAZE




--------------------------------------------------
Who do you suppose is in there?

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 2:42 PM

RMMC


It's Bicycle Repairman! We're saved!


Next we have number four, "Crunchy Frog." Am I right in thinking there's a real frog in here?

And Oliver has run himself over! What a great twit!






Large moose on the left
half side of the screen
in the third scene from
the end, given a thorough
grounding in Latin,
French and "O" level
Geography by: Bo Benn

****
RMMC

Antler care by: Liv Thatchr

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 2:49 PM

PENGUIN


Quote:

Originally posted by Haze:



--------------------------------------------------
Who do you suppose is in there?



Priceless! lol


NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 5:43 PM

UNSARDONIC


Quote:

Originally posted by SimonWho:
Thank you. Yes, thank you, that will be all.

SATIRE!

And now for something completely different.



Oh SOD the abatoir... what I'd really like is to join the ...{Freebrowncoats}... I'm sorry, I was a bit on edge just then but... if you could put in a good word for me, I promise, I'd just sit quietly in the back and not get in anyone's way.

Damn it's great to goof in pythonese with people who understand the argot Thanks! it's clear you're not "a stupid, inbred stack of meat."

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 6:01 PM

MISBEHAVEN


I like Chinese. I like Chinese. They only come up to your knees, yet their always friendly and their ready to please...

Morbid and creepifying I got no problem with, so long as you do it quiet like.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 7:32 PM

MALBADLATIN


We used the last of the power packs just to keep the hair driers going.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 10:59 PM

EMMARIGBY




(My Father is in fact John Cleese's double, personality wise. Can you imagine how embarrasing that is growing up?!)

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, June 26, 2006 11:59 PM

ZOID


Q: Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!!!

M: Look, I came here for an Argument, I'm not going to just stand...!!

Q: OH... Oh, I'm sorry, but this is Abuse...



Herpetologically,

zoid

P.S.
Ev'rybody sing!:
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
Riding through the glen!
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
With his band of men!
Steals from the poor,
Gives to the rich,
...
Stupid bitch...

_________________________________________________

"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 1:43 AM

SIMONWHO


The Spanish Inquisition!

(Nobody expected that).

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 3:06 AM

SWEETSERENDIPITY

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 3:31 AM

SIXSHOOTER


HE'S NOT THE MESSIAH, HE'S A VERY NAUGHTY BOY!!

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 3:45 AM

EMMARIGBY


In honour of our dear Penguin:

And could we have the next contender, please? Ha ha ha... Good evening, madam, and your name is?
Mrs. Scum: Yes, yes!
Michael Miles: And what's your name?
Mrs. Scum: I go to church regularly.
Michael Miles: Jolly good, I see, and which prize do you have particular eyes on this evening?
Mrs. Scum: I'd like the blow on the head.
Michael Miles: The blow on the head.
Mrs. Scum: Just there.
[pats her head]
Michael Miles: Jolly good. Well, your first question for the blow on the head this evening is - what great opponent of Cartesian dualism resists the reduction of psychological phenomena to physical states?
Mrs. Scum: I don't know that!
Michael Miles: Well, have a guess.
Mrs. Scum: Henri Bergson?
Michael Miles: Is the correct answer!
Mrs. Scum: Ooh, that was lucky. I never even heard of him.
Michael Miles: Jolly good.
Mrs. Scum: I don't like darkies!
Michael Miles: Ha ha ha! Who does! And now your second question for the blow on the head is - what is the main food that penguins eat?
Mrs. Scum: Pork luncheon meat?
Michael Miles: No.
Mrs. Scum: [thinks] Spam?
Michael Miles: No, no, no. What do penguins eat? Penguins.
Mrs. Scum: Penguins?
Michael Miles: Yes.
Mrs. Scum: I 'ate penguins!
[Mrs. Scum is trying to guess what penguins eat in the pursuit of the grand prize, the blow on the head]
Michael Miles: No, no, no.
Mrs. Scum: They eat themselves!
Michael Miles: No, no, what do *penguins* eat?
Mrs. Scum: Horses! Armchairs! Objects!
Michael Miles: No, no, no. What do penguins eat?
Mrs. Scum: Oh, penguins!
Michael Miles: Penguins.
Mrs. Scum: Cannelloni.
Michael Miles: No.
Mrs. Scum: Lasagna, moussaka, lobster thermidor, escalopes de veau a l'estragon avec endives gratineed with cheese!
Michael Miles: No, no, no, no. I'll give you a clue.
[mimes a fish swimming]
Mrs. Scum: Ah! Brian Close!
BBC Announcer: We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 3:51 AM

LVS2READ


Seems all my favorites have already been quoted (Dinsdale, The Penguin, Dennis Moore, The Dead Parrot, etc. etc.), so I'll just add this:

Oh, no! Not the comfy chair!

"I love my captain."

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 4:05 AM

EMMARIGBY



Toastmaster: Gentlemen, pray silence for the President of the Royal Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things.
Sir William: Thank you, gentlemen. The year has been a good one for the society. This year, our members have put more things on top of other things than ever before. But I should warn you, this is no time for complacency. No, there are still many things, and I cannot emphasize this too strongly, *not on top of other things.* I myself, on my way here, saw a thing that was not on top of another thing in any way.
[cries of "shame!']
Sir William: Shame indeed. But we must not allow ourselves to become too despondent. For we must never forget that if there was not one thing that was not on top of another thing, our society would be nothing more than a meaningless body of men that had gathered together for no good purpose. But we flourish. This year our Australasian members and the various organisations affiliated to our Australasian branches put no fewer than twenty-two things on top of other things.
[applause]
Sir William: Well done all of you. But there is one cloud on the horizon. In this last year our Staffordshire branch has not succeeded in putting one thing on top of another.
[more cries of "shame!]
Sir William: Therefore I call upon our Staffordshire delegate to explain this weird behaviour.
Cutler: [timidly] Er, Cutler, Staffordshire. Um... well... Mr Chairman, it's just that most of the members in Staffordshire feel... the whole thing's a bit... silly.
[cries of outrage]
Sir William: Silly? SILLY?
[pauses and thinks]
Sir William: Silly! I suppose it is, a bit. What have we been doing wasting our lives with all this nonsense? Right, meeting adjourned for ever.



NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 4:18 AM

SIXSHOOTER


Right! I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill... and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah!"

But you try and tell the young people today that and they won't believe ya!

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 4:55 AM

EMMARIGBY


This quote seems particularly appropriate for here:


BBC Voiceover: And now, a plea for sanity by the Reverend Arthur Belling.
Rev. Arthur Belling: [Cut to studio. A vicar sitting facing camera. He has an axe in his head] You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives. It is up to people like you and me who are out of our tiny little minds to try and help these people overcome their sanity. You can start in small ways with ping-pong ball eyes and a funny voice and then you can paint half of your body red and the other half green and then you can jump up and down in a bowl of treacle going 'squawk, squawk, squawk... ' And then you can go 'Neurhhh! Neurhh!' and then you can roll around on the floor going 'pting pting pting'...
[he rolls around on the floor]

___________________
Hissssssssss!

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 5:34 AM

SAHARA


You must spank us, every one!

Naughty, naughty Zoot!

And now, for something completely different...

Blackbird fly into the light of the dark, black night.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 6:11 AM

LYSANDER


She turned me into a newt.

A newt?

I...I.. got better.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 6:21 AM

PENGUIN


Second Bruce: New-Bruce, are you a Poofter?

Fourth Bruce: Are you a Poofter?

Michael: No!

Fourth Bruce: No. Right, I just want to remind you of the faculty rules: Rule One!

Everybruce: No Poofters!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way at all -- if there's anybody watching. Rule Three?

Everybruce: No Poofters!!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Four, now this term, I don't want to catch anybody not drinking. Rule Five,

Everybruce: No Poofters!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Six, there is NO ... Rule Six. Rule Seven,

Everybruce: No Poofters!!

Fourth Bruce: Right, that concludes the readin' of the rules, Bruce.


NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 6:26 AM

SAHARA


I have a sudden craving for a giant blanc mange and tennis, I don't know why.

Hmmmmmm...

In Wales?



Blackbird fly into the light of the dark, black night.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 6:50 AM

HAZE


Right men, confuse the cat!

--------------------------------------------------
Who do you suppose is in there?

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 7:37 AM

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE


Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

[The Inquisition exits]

Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

[The cardinals burst in]

Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!

Damn you Fox! Damn you to Hades!!
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 7:39 AM

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN


(Cut to a critic. Superimposed caption: 'GAVIN MILLARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR')

Art Critic: Some people have made the mistake of seeing Shunt's work as a load of rubbish about railway timetables, but clever people like me, who talk loudly in restaurants, see this as a deliberate ambiguity, a plea for understanding in a mechanized world. The points are frozen, the beast is dead. What is the difference? What indeed is the point? The point is frozen, the beast is late out of Paddington. The point is taken. If La Fontaine's elk would spurn Tom Jones the engine must be our head, the dining car our oesophagus, the guard's van our left lung, the cattle truck our shins, the first-class compartment the piece of skin at the nape of the neck and the level crossing an electric elk called Simon. The clarity is devastating. But where is the ambiguity? It's over there in a box. Shunt is saying the 8.15 from Gillingham when in reality he means the 8.13 from Gillingham. The train is the same only the time is altered. Ecce homo, ergo elk. La Fontaine knew his sister and knew her bloody well. The point is taken, the beast is moulting, the fluff gets up your nose. The illusion is complete; it is reality, the reality is illusion and the ambiguity is the only truth. But is the truth, as Hitchcock observes, in the box? No there isn't room, the ambiguity has put on weight. The point is taken, the elk is dead, the beast stops at Swindon, Chabrol stops at nothing, I'm having treatment and La Fontaine can get knotted.





http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php
-try it out, I dare you

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 7:39 AM

EMMARIGBY


Vet: I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.

-------------

Rustic Shepherd: It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their 'ind legs. Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet.


___________________
Hissssssssss!

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 9:57 AM

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN


you're no fun anymore



http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php
-try it out, I dare you

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

I'm so into Firefly, my butt glows in the dark.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 11:04 AM

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN


Quote:

Originally posted by SimonWho:
Dear Sir,

I wish to complain in the strongest possible terms about this thread. It appears to be composed entirely of either direct quotes or variations of line from the popular Monty Python series.

Yours sincerely,

Captain Malcolm Reynolds (Mrs)




LOL!!!!


also, I would like to point out that the BALPA spokesman who made an earlier complaint about aironautical inacuracies was himself wearing a captain's hat, while he only had leutenant's stripes on the sleeves of his jacket



http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php
-try it out, I dare you

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

I'm so into Firefly, my butt glows in the dark.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 11:29 AM

WHOOPS


SOLDIER #1: Where'd you get the coconuts?
ARTHUR: We found them.
SOLDIER #1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
SOLDIER #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
SOLDIER #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
ARTHUR: Not at all. They could be carried.
SOLDIER #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk!
SOLDIER #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
SOLDIER #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
ARTHUR: Please!
SOLDIER #1: Am I right?
ARTHUR: I'm not interested!
SOLDIER #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
SOLDIER #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
SOLDIER #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
SOLDIER #1: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
SOLDIER #2: Oh, yeah.
SOLDIER #1: So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.
SOLDIER #2: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
SOLDIER #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
SOLDIER #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
SOLDIER #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
SOLDIER #2: Well, why not?


Sorry about it being long just love that bit just because of John Cleese mind
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love. You can do all the math in the 'Verse, but you take a boat in the air you
don't love, she'll shake you off sure as a turnin' of worlds. Love keeps her in
the air when she oughtta fall down. Tells you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens.
Makes her a home." Mal


NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 2:50 PM

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN


call the unexploded scotsman disposal squad!



http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php
-try it out, I dare you

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

I'm so into Firefly, my butt glows in the dark.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 3:01 PM

ZOID


Whoops wrote, in part:
Quote:

SOLDIER #2: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
SOLDIER #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
SOLDIER #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
SOLDIER #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
SOLDIER #2: Well, why not?


Sorry about it being long just love that bit just because of John Cleese mind


...which is oddly apropos, given some Browncoats' penchant for arguing the ins and outs (no overt Terry Pratchett reference intended) of gravity drives and terraforming...

And now for something... well... you know...

Man: (whistles a bit, then) Hello. I would like to buy a fish licence, please.
Postal Clerk: A what?
Man: A licence for my pet fish, Eric.
Postal Clerk: How did you know my name was Eric?
Man: No, no, no! My fish's name is Eric. Eric fish. He's an halibut.
Postal Clerk: What?
Man: He is an halibut.
Postal Clerk: You've got a pet halibut?
Man: Yes, I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were all too flat.
Postal Clerk: You must be a loony.
Man: I am not a loony. Why should I be tarred with the epithet 'loony', merely because I have a pet halibut? I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabarro has a pet prawn called Simon - you wouldn't call him a loony! Furthermore Dawn Pathorpe, the lady showjumper, had a clam called Stafford, after the late chancellor. Alan Bullock has two pikes, both called Chris, and Marcel Proust had an 'addock! So if you're calling the author of 'A la recherche de temps perdu' a loony, I shall have to ask you to step outside!
Postal Clerk: All right, all right, all right. A licence?
Man: Yes!
Postal Clerk: For a fish.
Man: Yes!
Postal Clerk: You *are* a loony.
Man: Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got a licence for me pet dog Eric, I've got a licence for me pet cat Eric.
Postal Clerk: You don't need a licence for your cat.
Man: I bleedin' well do and I've got one! Can't be caught out there!
Postal Clerk: There is no such thing as a bloody Cat Licence.
Man: Yes, there is.
Postal Clerk: No there isn't.
Man: Is!
Postal Clerk: Isn't!
Man: I've bleedin' got one, look! What's that then?
Postal Clerk: This is a dog licence with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written in, in crayon.
Man: Man didn't have the right form.
Postal Clerk: What man?
Man: The man from the cat detector van.
Postal Clerk: The loony detector van, you mean.
Man: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.
Postal Clerk: What cat detector van?
Man: The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.
Postal Clerk: Housinge?
Man: It was spelt like that on the van. I'm very observant. I never seen so many bleedin' aerials. The man said their equipment could pinpoint a purr at four hundred yards, and Eric being such a happy cat was a piece of cake.
Postal Clerk: How much did you pay for this?
Man: Sixty quid and eight for the fruit-bat.
Postal Clerk: What fruit-bat?
Man: Eric the fruit-bat.
Postal Clerk: Are all your pets called Eric?
Man: There's nothing so odd about that. Kemel Attaturk had an entire menagerie called Abdul.
Postal Clerk: No he didn't.
Man: Did!
Postal Clerk: Didn't!
Man: Did, did, did, did, did and did!
Postal Clerk: Oh all right.
Man: Spoken like a gentleman, sir. Now, are you going to give me a fish licence?
Postal Clerk: I promise you that there is no such thing. You don't need one.
Man: In that case give me a bee licence.
Postal Clerk: A licence for your pet bee.
Man: Correct.
Postal Clerk: Called Eric? Eric the bee?
Man: No.
Postal Clerk: No?
Man: No, Eric the half bee. He had an accident.
Postal Clerk: You're off your chump.
Man: Look, if you intend by that utilization of an obscure colloquialism to imply that my sanity is not up to scratch, or even to deny the semi-existence of my little chum Eric the half bee, I shall have to ask you to listen to this. Take it away, Eric the orchestra-leader.
Eric Idle: A one, two, a one two three four!

(There follows a completely silly song about Eric The Half-A-Bee, the tune to which I do not recall, so I snuff'd it.)

Chorus: He loves him carnally,
Semi-carnally!

Man: The end.
Postal Clerk:´Cyril Connolly?
Man: No, semi-carnally!
Postal Clerk: Oh.
Chorus: Cyril Connolly. (Whistle end of tune.)



Hemi-Carnally,

zoid

P.S.
Just remembered the tune to "Eric The Half-A-Bee". It goes, "Dum-de-dum, dah do-de-dum-dum" (parump-ah-pum-pah!)

P.P.S.
I've never even owned a rocker, off of which to get...
_________________________________________________

"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 4:42 PM

MERC2K


This is only slightly related, but I found this clip of Peter Cook and John Cleese performing Interesting Facts on the "Secret Policeman's Ball" (charity performances for Amnesty International). It's always been a favourite:




NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 4:43 PM

MERC2K


(Sorry, double post)

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 10:19 PM

RHODRI


Quote:

Originally posted by sahara:
You must spank us, every one!

Naughty, naughty Zoot!

And now, for something completely different...

Blackbird fly into the light of the dark, black night.



Poor Galahad - Lancelot must be gay!

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 10:21 PM

RHODRI


What have the Romans ever done for us?

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 10:47 PM

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN


they invented the forum



BURMA!



http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php
-try it out, I dare you

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

I'm so into Firefly, my butt glows in the dark.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 11:06 PM

TURNIPYODOUR



And the aqueduct.

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 11:38 PM

EMMARIGBY


TV Presenter: And now a precision display of bad temper.
[soldiers all yell in unison]
Soldiers: My goodness me! I am in a bad temper today, two three! Damn damn, two three! I am vexed and ratty, two three! And hopping mad!
[soldiers stamp feet on ground angrily]
TV Presenter: And now, the men of the Second Armored Division with their famous close order swanning about.
Sergeant: Squad... *Camp* it *up*!
[soldiers all chant in unison while mincing]
Soldiers: Ooh, get her! Whoops, I've got your number ducky, you couldn't afford me dear, two three. I'll scratch your eyes out! Don't come the Brigadier bit with us, dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy. Two, three, one, two, three, four, five, six.

___________________
Hissssssssss!

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 10:01 AM

ODDNESS2HER


The BBC would like to apologize for the constant repetition in this show. The BBC would like to apologize for the constant repetition in this show.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 10:19 AM

KAREL

Flying on duct tape and a damaged registry.


Zoid sighting!

*sets trap box with a copy of the 16 Tons DVD collection as bait*

--Karel.



"Wonderous is our great blue ship that sails around the mighty sun and joy to everyone that rides along." -- Jeff Lynne, Electric Light Orchestra.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 10:34 AM

RMMC


the whole problem with these senile deliquents lies in their complete rejection of values of contemporary society. They've seen their chldren grow up and become accountants, stockbrokers and even sociologists, and begin to wonder if it is all really...aarrgh!

Oh well we sometimes feel we're to blame for what our gran's become. I mean she used to be happy here until she, she started on the crochet.

Crochet?

Yeah. Now she can't do without it. Twenty balls of wool a day, sometimes. If she can't get the wool she gets violent. What can we do about it?

******
RMMC

Executive Producer
John Goldstone & "Ralph" The Wonder Llama

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 11:42 AM

HAZE


Voice Over: Mr Neutron! The most dangerous and terrifying man in the world! The man with the strength of an army! The wisdom of all the scholars in history! The man who had the power to destroy the world. Mr Neutron no one knows what strange and distant planet he came from, or where he was going to! Wherever he went, terror and destruction were sure to follow.

--------------------------------------------------
Who do you suppose is in there?

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 12:21 PM

DAVESHAYNE


Did somebody say matress to Mr. Lambert?



David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 12:25 PM

RMMC


Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja!...Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.

******
RMMC

Producer
Mark Forstater

Assisted by
Earl J. Llama
Mike Q. Llama III
Sy Llama
Merle Z. Llama IX




NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 12:47 PM

OOKAMIKAWAHARA


A Monty Python thread and I've missed the mayhem till now ----- shame
Well to make up for it ..... I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquistion.... Jarring chord "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquistion !!!!" I do so look forward to being tortured on the comfy chair

Oh the next daring adventure of our Shiny BDH is Llama rustlen, need to gather 12,000 for the Monty Python party I do believe. Wait wait don't sack me yet, we've only just started the zany fun here llamas and gentleman err I mean......

mata, Ookami yori

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

YOUR OPTIONS

NEW POSTS TODAY

USERPOST DATE

OTHER TOPICS

DISCUSSIONS
Fan-Made ‘Green Lantern’ Trailer Receives Nathan Fillion’s Endorsement
Fri, December 20, 2024 18:31 - 9 posts
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Fri, December 20, 2024 17:58 - 5 posts
Why Firefly deserved to die
Wed, December 18, 2024 16:34 - 99 posts
Where are the Extraterrestrial Civilizations
Tue, December 17, 2024 08:58 - 56 posts
What if... Firefly had been British?
Tue, December 17, 2024 08:40 - 44 posts
Shiny New Year 2025 — Philadelphia, PA
Sun, December 15, 2024 15:25 - 2 posts
Joss was right... Mandarin is the language of the future...
Fri, December 13, 2024 20:35 - 36 posts
James Earl Jones, commanding actor who voiced Darth Vader, dies at 93
Thu, December 12, 2024 09:17 - 6 posts
What's wrong with Star Trek Voyager, and Enterprise?
Thu, December 12, 2024 09:14 - 30 posts
WE WAITED 18 YEARS FOR A REBOOT AND DISNEY IS GOING TO DO IT...AND THEN STERILIZE COMPANIONS???!
Tue, December 10, 2024 14:25 - 95 posts
Host the 2025 Browncoat Ball! - Request for Proposals
Mon, December 2, 2024 00:22 - 4 posts
Is Joss Whedon finished as a film maker, is his future destiny to be some muttering version of Brigitte Bardot, Jane Fonda, Sean Penn, Charlie Sheen, Danny Glover?
Sun, November 24, 2024 06:15 - 13 posts

FFF.NET SOCIAL