Male and Female Imponderables--Continued Yet Again by Tristan

DeepGirl, absolutely! Food is a wonderful aphrodisiac. If the meal is done right, it can actually be good foreplay as well!

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 9:34 AM

DEEPGIRL187

Quote:
Originally posted by 13:
Deepgirl: What happened to Tidus? It was refreshing to know of another Final Fantasy Browncoat!

Don't worry. Tidus will make another appearance. I'm just feeling kind of Jayne-ish right now.

**************************************************

"What you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar."

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 9:35 AM

SERYN

*first of all, i read FMF's blog posts this morning, so right now i'm going to apologise for whining about my life when I've got it pretty frickin easy compared. And if idid get £3000 together, it would be on its way to you. I hate those situations where you just have no clue what is going to happen, and if i could just suddenly come up with cash to send to you I so would.

*Second of all, Safe! get that tattoo! no more uming and ahhing. My mom was almost fifty when she got her first tattoo, and over fifty when she got the peircings, and she's currently designing her next tat. You are never too old!

I've decided that if i get this job the first months wage 'extra' is going on a celebratory tattoo (a Luna moth on a cherry blossom branch, and maybe the mandarin letters for 'meddle not with dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup' if I can find someone to translate them for me)
Basically, all the tattoo's I want are butterfly's - if I find the first one to be an ok experience, the second one will be a saturnid moth on my neck. And then I will stop, two is enough for any lady.
I thought about loosing weight first, and then I thought 'bugger that' I'd squander my entire life waiting to loose weight.

As for the age difference, i'm always unsure, my first boyfriend was 30 when i was 18, that was a little strange, but i felt ok about it. Then I met and fell for a guy who was 17 when I was 20, And ifelt like a cradle snatcher, even though the 17 year old was more mature in his behaviour!
I think under 18 is just a no go area if you are over 20. Saying that, I'd love to meet up with the guy now that he'll be 21 - prime of his life and all that...

I suppose thats one topic we have to cover sooner or later - the fat issue. Some people may all ready have read my 'opinion' on the rant thread in talk (i'll track it down if folks are interested)

I don't know what exactly to talk about - actually, i do, I'm technically fat. But i'm talking to a guy online who ireally quite like. Now its totally hypothetical, as he lives in london, the commute'd be a bitch, but if I moved to london or whatever, and he suggested meeting up, would it be something i'd need to bring up before hand? Would you think better of someone who just came straight out and said it? It a really stupid thing to make an issue of I know, and I wouldn't even think about it, but I went on a blind date once, and had to stand there feeling utterly humiliated as the tit realised it was me and his face fell. (i left shortly afterwards, but things like that stick when you are young)

er, well, discuss! :D

**********************************************************
Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 9:48 AM

DEEPGIRL187

The sane, logical part of me wants to say that a person that would be so shallow as to turn down someone because of weight deserves to go to the special hell. The rest of me knows that the chances of this happening is often slim.

I'm more than heavy myself, and have been for quite some time. As a result, I've reached the point where I rarely consider dating. Most of the time, I push the idea so far back into my mind that I don't even notice if someone is actually looking at me (it's been pointed out to before). Being fat tends to make me feel like there's no point to even consider dating. It's like, why bother, they'll just say no, if they notice you at all.

*sigh*
Okay, depressing rant over. Continue your normal activities.

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"What you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar."

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 9:50 AM

seryn

Thanks! That is sweet. Fortunately my mommy has ridden the white horse again and come to my recue!

As for the "fat" issue. Yeah you should tell, simply to save yourself from the idiots of the world. I don't think it should matter. But I have even seen some men on those personals sites make snide comments about "large women". Farging Iceholes!

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 10:04 AM

Hey Seryn I have to say there are lots of guys who think stick thin is scary and like a woman who looks like a woman and not a 12 year old boy...May I reccomend Delta Style ( great book) If you're worries about how the guy might receive you, suggest to him that you swap pictures...then you can know without having to be totally direct and don't assume because you aren't an anorexic 12 year old that he won't be interested...give guys more credit than that. There are some major a**holes out there ( about as many as there are b*tches) but lots of guys can see a lot more in a woman than her size! ( ok getting off soap box now)

NV- yeah scary scary LDS people you should see our liquor laws ( no you shouldn't they are insane) and our freeways make indy drivers run whimpering into the garage...they aren't for the faint of heart!

FMF_ I just love the parental rescue! Although I must say I bet you pull parental rescue regularly for your kids too....It must be a cyclical thing.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 10:30 AM

Y'all are too quick for me. Use the phone, miss five posts. Use the bathroom, miss ten.

Hell yes on the food idea. I love to cook and love to eat. Combine that with cold drinks and some one to squeeze on and I'd be in heaven.

The big girl thing. I must admit to crushing real hard on a black girl stationed at the Naval air station a few years ago. We used to hang out at a now closed local bar. Despite having plenty of soft spots, I really like her hanging on me. I usually like a more athletic body type with strategically significant soft spots, but dang. I really liked the way she felt.
Did I mention that I really liked the way she felt.
Seryn, be honest with the guy. Chances are there's plenty he ain't tellin' you. No guy would seriously tell you that he has small testicles or was over circumsized until you see for yourself. If he don't like it, F'em. The good thing about finding someone with extra weight is the suggestion of strenuous activity to work it off! (150 calories every 15 minutes I think)
But as usual, my closet womanizing keeps me in a place to be happy with just about anything.

MSG- Never drank while I was there. From what I understand , people with a good tolerance for alcohol go broke quick on account of the low alcohol content in Utah's beverages. I've heard of bring your own beer bars, but not BYOB states until I went to Utah.

FMF- Wish my mom would come to my rescue. Guess that's why I grew up too fast. She was too busy taking care of everyone else that I had to.
And on that note, start the psychoanalysis.

DG187: Loved the Tidus sig, Love the Jayne sig, got any Cloud sigs? (FF kids raise their hands)

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 10:39 AM

NV- yeah in Utah , by law, no drink can contain more than 1 1/2 shots of liquor, beer must be 6.8% alcohol only, you can only buy liquor in a state run liquor store that is not open sunday. The only alcohol sold in grocery stores is beer, if you have a club with a liquor license everyone in that club must be a member ( hence selling of cheap memberships at the door), and no restaurant is allowed to ask if you would like to have an alcoholic drink with your meal..they can only ask if you would like to see the special menu or use the special glasses....HELP ME I LIVE IN A THEOCRACY!!!
EDIT- and you though the alliance was interfering!
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 10:52 AM

QUEENOFTHENORTH

Well, let me just butt in here and try to catch up. I read the whole thread so I've got a few things to say.

Age difference - My parents are seven years apart (Dad older than Mom) and they've been very happily married for 26 years. My dad often jokes that he couldn't find anyone his own age, so he cradle-robbed. My brother also got engaged last Xmas to a girl 6 years younger than him. I teased him about it at first, as is my right as little sister

but she's actually perfect for him. Myself, I don't know. Ten years older than me would be absolute max, but I'm not sure about younger. Actually, there's this guy who's younger than me (he's 16, I'm 21) and I know he likes me, but I'm not sure if I should do anything about it. I think he's hot, but . . . yeah, I don't know.

Off topic - glad to see I'm not the only Browncoat/Final Fantasy fan! (Oh, wow, I'm a huge geek.)

Tattoos - I'd like to get one on each shoulder blade. One a Celtic cross and one a maple leaf. Since my family originally came from Ireland and is now Canadian, I thought it'd be a cool transition bit. But I'm not sure if the shoulder blade idea is good or not.

The weight issue - I know exactly what you're talking about, Seryn. I was fat all throughout high school and got teased a lot. Dated very little due to lack of offers and self-confidence, and went on many failed blind dates. Anyway, I lost about 70 pounds after high school (still have the D cups though, go figure) and I look way better now. Ironically, my love life is still Sahara-esque, so I'm beginning to think it's my personality. Oh well, at least clothes shopping is miles funner now. Anyway, I say send him a picture to show him how gorgeous you are. If he doesn't want anything to do with you after that, that's his loss. (Hmm, this attitude of mine could be why I don't have a man. *shrugs* Oh well.)

There, I think that covers everything.

"I'm having one of those things - a headache with pictures."

"Of course I'm right. And if I'm not, may we all be horribly crushed from above somehow."

Like books? Go to this thread: http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=14862
to find out how to buy mine!

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 11:13 AM

GED

Deepgirl, I love your sigs!

__________________________________________________
This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 11:31 AM

RUGBUG

Quote:
originally posted by nvghostrider:
Y'all are too quick for me. Use the phone, miss five posts. Use the bathroom, miss ten.

Do some work miss 10 posts, go to the doctor (arm/shoulder re-check) and miss about 50 posts....

13: Good on ya! You get major bonus points for putting yourself out there.

Tattoos: I've lately been thinking about the chinese characters for horse or equestrian. I've always wanted a tat, but haven't come up with something I would want on me forever. The logical thing is some type of horse design, but I've never seen one that inspired me to get it done. Have wanted a dragonfly in the past, but not so sure about that now. Still debating.

Seryn: Been there, done the whole weight thing. I'm actually up about 30 pounds from where I like to be due to this broken arm. It's killing me. I pretty much always feel fat, and now with 30 extra pounds it's that much worse. I lost a considerable amount of weight a few years back (although not nearly as much as MSG...you go girl!) and the thought of it all coming back on is haunting me.

I would try to exchange pictures before I met someone. And you never know, maybe you won't like the looks of him.

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 11:35 AM

DEEPGIRL187

At the request of many, here are some shiny Final Fantasy icons:

We now continue with our regularly schedule programming...

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"What you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar."

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 11:52 AM

RUGBUG

I wanted to edit my other post, but the board wouldn't let me. Basically it was more blather about weight. Seryn: better believe this guy has something he doesn't want you to know about him. So might as well be honest up front. The last guy I flirted with over the internet turned out to be about 2 inches shorter than me. That wasn't a deal breaker (he had a lot going for him otherwise: upper level event rider, aerospace engineer doing some really cool work with bone/facial reconstruction) but it did make him less attractive to me. I'm not a tiny little girl and I hate feeling like I am "bigger" than whoever I'm with.

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 11:54 AM

it's ok rugbug it happens to me everytime I go to my family's I get back and there are like 90 posts..oh well...In fact it'll probably happen again as I am on my way to tutor and then the gym, but I should be back in a few hours so TTFN:)

EDIT- hey being tiny sucks...I can never reach anything and I can never see what's going on and we even had to order a special teacher chair 'cause I couldn't touch the floor in the regular one, and once in elementary they played keep away...with me as the item not my stuff!! OK short person rant over. Seriously I think we all are who we are and it's silly to think one size is better than another!
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 11:57 AM

I do need to vent and may need some advice. My sister recently had court beause an issue with her newborn daughter and DCFS. Chances are there are at least three people in my house who know why. I know only because of the concerned folks in the same line of work as myself. I don't know how I will approach my sisters or, heaven forbid, my own mother. None of them have told me anything but I know everything. I just really dislike them all right now. And how will I deal with the fact that no one in my family have the nuts to tell me anything. Chances are I may end up with physical custody of a 2 1/2 year old and a newborn in the near future. I have only a shallow dilema. I wish to have a social life and to enjoy being young while I can. I'd taken care of kids and myself for most of what I can remember. I just feel really selfish on wanting things for myself. I guess this post has been brewing for about a week. Could anyone tell?

DG187- They're Fantastic.

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 12:09 PM

NV- That's not selfish that's honest. DO you really think there's a parent out there who at one time or another hasn't momentarily wished they were responsibility free?? HUGS that's a nasty and tough situation especially with no one telling you what is going on, though I'd bet you have a decent clue and are too kind to say. I'd suggest you check into babysitters and friends with kids who'd be willing to trade off some kid free time. It's a pain some, but kids rock! I know how you feel though there are many days where I am really tired of being the mommy to the world and wish someone would let me just go play for a bit:) Let us know if we can help any...I might point out the upside to your inner man whore. Nothing attracts women more than to see an unattached guy being a good daddy... You'd better get yourself a nice big stick to fight em off!!!! and women who date you can also watch the kids as a favor when you need alone time:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 12:16 PM

RUGBUG

Wow, NV, you've got some stuff going down.

As far as custody goes...if it happens, you will step up. You already sound like you have a huge amount of love for these kids, and that capacity will only grow when they are your responsibility. Yeah, you will still need time for you, but I bet it won't be as much as you think it needs to be. As a sidenote, a man with kids is much more "eligible" than a woman with kids.

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 12:36 PM

SERYN

Oh, no, I like the look of him, without a beard, he looks like Chandler from Friends (a bit, when he was cute) with a bit of a beard, yes please! But like I said, its hypothetical anyway - it may only be a small counrty, but god do they charge you enough to travel accross it. And so far, apart from a little banter about him having to wear a floral bikini, theres been no real flirtation, he's just becoming a good online buddy.

I really must urge all you girls to stop worrying about excess pounds! Life really is far far far too short. It is bloody hard, it seems like at the moment, i go out to pubs or whatever and guys my own age virtually ignore me, but old blokes can't stop singing my praises. so i'm annoyed at the shallowness of guys my own age. But you have to stop thinking in terms of oh i'm fat, and start thinking 'well, what is good about me?'

Ok, homework, this is a cliche, but trust me it works!

Make a list on a tiny peice of paper, for example,

Bad things about me -

I'm fat.
When I'm nervous I talk total s***
I overthink.

Good things about me -

I have great skin, all over.
I have lovely hair, pretty eyes, and lips that celebrities pay millions for.
I'm actually qite funny, and often very witty, and when i'm not drivelling, i'm intelligent and have a good range of conversation.
At least I do think.
I look nothing like all the other girls.
Money saved on clothing means my collection of perfumes and chandelier earrings has benefited.
When i'm older, i'll still have younger looking skin and less wrinkles, while all these diet crazy super skinny girls will look like deflated balloons stretched over matchsticks with cats asses for mouths.
Hugging me feels really nice.
I've got more style, as I had to learn it.
I don't waste my money on 'womens' magazines, so I can afford more copies of Firefly - when mine get's 'borrowed' (and more earrings).

Whatever you want to write, then keep it in your purse and read it everyday, and whenever you feel low.

I'm determined i'm never going to diet for any reason other than my health (i'm going to have to start loosing it at some point, as I don't want to comprimise my health when i'm old) but things like getting a career going, finding a partner, whatever, i'm going to do them all regardless of the size of my ass.

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 12:38 PM

I've been away for awhile. My , I really missed this.

NV - Don't worry -you sound like you'll be a great dad if & or when it happens. Your concern alreaady shows that. And it's not selfish, it's very realistic. You do deserve a life of your own.And 2 children will prevent that for awhile.At least you know what to expect.
But there are always playgroups & babysitters that can be looked into.
I wish you and the kids all the luck in the verse.
And women do love a man with kids ! Very appealing.

Bryce
*************************************

I swallowed a bug.

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 12:39 PM

Thanks ladies. Funny thing is MSG, I already have a big stick. Goes everywhere I do. Crafted it myself. Usually sits behind the seat of the truck within reach.

As appealing as it sounds, I'd rather not use the kids as chick magnets. I helped my best friend raise her son for the first two years of his life. Felt very guilty when I'd take him anywhere and the girlies would gather very quick. Ya know, maybe thats why he's my favorite of her three.

Just don't know what to do next. Might have to pull a 13. Nothing gets the blood pumping like executing a plan, does it.

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 12:50 PM

Sounds like there's nothing you can do , so don't fret too much .What will be will be.
Oh my I sound like my grandmother !
Anyway , at least you're no stranger to caring for younglings .The experience will help alot.
And take advantage of your time now, have some fun this weekend .

Bryce
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I swallowed a bug.

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 12:50 PM

Nothing does, NV.

And can executing a plan become known as 'pulling a 13?' I'd like to be immortalized!

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'I don't know. He seems kind of peculiar.'

'Maybe he's Canadian!'

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 1:12 PM

I would like define "Pulling a 13" as taking a risk despite the possible outcome, (ie. flipping quad, accepting friendship of crush, being Canadian)

Could be worse. Pulling a Joe (thats me) is when you try real hard but end up making things worse. I've accepted the alter ego of Chain Reaction Man. Able to keep the downward spiral rolling with a single action.

On a brighter note: My nephew Memo comes to watch TV with me afterword sometimes. Most of the time I'll have an episode of Firefly playing. He sits on my pillows and watches quietly. Until the beginning of the next episode of course. I love family sing alongs!

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 1:20 PM

Chain Reaction Man please let me introduce you to Blame Woman .
Something goes wrong you can just blame me . Go ahead, I can take it !

On another note, I'd like to say how much I enjoy this thread & all you shiny folk. Been down myself lately & you guys make the verse a little less lonely.

Bryce
***************************************

I swallowed a bug.

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 1:27 PM

They're a fun lot, the Imponderables! Forsaken are awesome too, although many Forsaken spend much time impondering.

Pulling a Joe, eh? At least it sounds cooler than my actual name...

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'I don't know. He seems kind of peculiar.'

'Maybe he's Canadian!'

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 1:56 PM

OK if you want to talk about uncool first names...try mine ( it's Lila) phonetically that would be Lie Lah ( I only do this becaus eI almost constantly have people either mispronounce it or call me Lisa:)
ok I like that. From now on when I do something guts and risky I shall call it pulling a 13

NV- Hey you can mold them to your will and turn them into great little people who grow into great big people just like you! I always love it when I catch my students repeating stuff I say or doing something I taught them:)As for the chick magnetness of babies ..it's unaviodable, unintentional ( on your part) so just consider it a side bennie:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 2:36 PM

Homework for y'all. I'm gonna pull a 13 in the next seven days. Several if the opportunity presents itself. Try to do the same and report back. I wanna make that cool little BROWNCOAT's name immortal.

MSG- This may work out. I've already got one hooked, just need to work on the other when she gets a bit older. Lila huh. I like it.

May have to subject myself to a bit of humiliation this weekend in the name of 13.
Little Albatross suggested I live it up a little this weekend. Gonna 13 my ass off. What do I have to lose?

I'm out for the night 'coats. Love you all!

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 2:51 PM

I think Lila is a very nice name .
At least you don't have a boy's name . My mother thought Bryce was just so original for a girl . Lucky lucky me.I get mail all the time that addresses me as mr. Drives me nuts.
Not to mention how much I was teased as kid.

Bryce
**************************************

I swallowed a bug.

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 5:28 PM

PIZ

And now for something completely different (and likely to raise hackles). I didn't write this, just received it from a friend:

Quote:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b*tch knows I'm smarter than her.

--
"That's what a government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 5:48 PM

STILLFLYIN

Okay, I'm speaking from a position of inexperience here, but I don't think that was a very good idea. Also, I may be coming off as unmanly here but, due to moral beliefs and personal feelings, I would rather just snuggle than go any farther than that. In a relationship, I'm looking for someone who I enjoy just being close to and holding and being around in general, because to me a relationship should be founded in the emotional and intellectual connection between the me and the other person, rather than in any purely physical attraction. Feel free to yell at me if I sound pompus or anything.

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 6:42 PM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Oh my... I have to say, I find that totally hilarious. I just hope that he went on to break up with her. Though from the "I guess I'm not having sex tonight" comment, maybe he was actually trying to use it to *help* their relationship?! That I couldn't condone, but as a break up, I find it really funny.

I guess my reason for thinking this is that I generally believe that the gulf between men and women has been artificially widened -- mainly by women, IMHO as a woman, lol. Yes, men and women are different, mentally, physically, and spiritually, and even in same sex relationships, your partner will never approach everything exactly the same way you do. We're individuals, and we can never totally walk in someone else's shoes.

But I think a lot of women play up the "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" thing. What I want to know is did she pull that stunt on purpose -- did she get into bed with the idea of sexually frustrating him to draw attention to her unfulfilled emotional needs? If so, then that's exactly what I'm talking about. Women pulling the "you don't pay attention to my emotions" trump card at the most selfish times possible, just to manipulate their man into doing what they want. And if she did it on purpose, then I think she got what she deserved, lol. (If she didn't plan that stunt, then she needs to be a lot more aware of her timing!)

Even with all our differences, I think there is very little that can't be solved with love and good communication. Leaving the stunt in the bedroom aside for a moment, I've been where she's at -- feeling like there isn't enough emotional exchange in the relationship. Early in my relationship with my husband, I started to feel like I wasn't receiving enough affection from him. We had started dating while I was on a whole "I'm going to live my life even if I get hurt" kick, so I told him straight out, "I would like to get more affection." He wasn't, by nature, a constantly affectionate guy, but rather more all or nothing (ie, big romantic evening one day, then the next sit on the couch but not really snuggle). Whereas I was raised in a household where affection was constantly shown in little moments, where my parents always snuggled on the couch, or kissed in the kitchen, or whatever. We display our affection openly, in my family, so it was what I craved in a relationship. I knew that he felt that affection for me, he just wasn't used to showing it in small ways 24/7.

I think I kinda shocked him with the request. I remember him saying it was a really strange thing to ask for, but he said he would work on it. We started developing little things that meant something only to us, started saying "I love you" out of the blue, started sitting closer together. We're both big gamers, so when we moved in together (against my parents' wishes, btw, but like I said, I was on that whole "I'm living my life even if I get hurt" kick), we bought a big dining room table to put our computers on. We still play games sitting right next to each other. Less than a year after my request, we were married, and we've really evolved into a couple that does lots of little things but few big things, and we both like it that way.

My point in all this is that I *asked* for what I needed. I did it during the day, when we were both in good moods, and hadn't had a recent fight or anything of the sort. I think in general humans spend way too much time trying not to be hurt, way to much time shielding our true feelings and our real meanings. If you go to someone you love and who loves you and say "I need this", without manipulation or coercion (whether by sexual frustration as above, or by tears, or whatever), and the other person approaches that statement with equal love and honesty, then I think there is very little that can't be worked out.

Hmm, now that I think about it, maybe I've been channeling 13 all this time.

Or, you know, Zoe: "I'm not so afraid of losing something that I won't try havin' it."

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Thursday, June 29, 2006 6:51 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Oh wow, I passed out this morning and slept all day! I have missed a lot! A whole new thread!
Age difference? Well, I've had several opinions on this, so bear with me. When I was younger - in my teens - I thought that even a few years was a little too much. But as I kept not getting dates because no one my age was, well, mature, I upped it a little. Now I basically would feel weird dating anyone older than my brother, who is 6.5 years older than me - getting ready to turn 28 - but as I get older still that might be upped again. The older you get, the more likely you are to be at the same place in life with someone older than you, which is really what it's all about. I'm probably not at the same place in life as a 30 year old, so it might be a little strange to date one. Other than that, I think a good rule of thumb is "If you're old enough to be my parent, you're too old to date me." That can technically be an age difference of as little as 14 years, but 18-20 or after is probably more common to have children. I've always thought men dating someone who looked like their daughter was creepy. Women dating someone who looks like their son is equally creepy, just a little less common. Long answer short (too late) if they could concievably have a child my age, it's no dice. I do tend to date older people, and be friends with older people, because a lot of people my age are reckles or immature or something. Although age isn't everything when it comes to maturity; Ex of Doom was 4 years older than me, and he still cared more about his toys than his own well-being.
I remember at one point I was talking to this guy at a grad party, a cousin of a really good friend at the time, and we babble about Star Wars for about two hours. It was really funny because he kept saying things like "Where were you when I was in high school?" and my Dad walked by at one point and said "She was in third grade!" or something along those lines. Poor boy blushed pretty badly.
We seem to have touched on tattoos again. Everyone has them, even the innocent. Everyone except me. (Heh, I know that's not true, but it's close to true and kinda funny.) I know I said this before, but I have such sensitive skin and other workings that i'm not sure what a tat would do to me. Plus anything that is meaningful enough to be branded on my skin is already branded on my heart, so I don't need to show it. Plus, I agree on the overdoing it thing, and I think there are too many people wh get addicted to the ink "high" which really kinda bothers me.
Ohhhhh, aphrodesiac food! Yes! It depends on the day and my mood, but there have definitely been times I've had some kind of foodgasm or had food otherwise put me in the mood. I think it's the mark of a truly sensual person if they really enjoy good food. Oh, strawberries, raspberries, chocolate, cheesecake, sushi... almost anything can be good if it's really well-prepared, though.
Fat issue, well, that's delicate isn't it? It depends for me. I have been in love with a few overweight people, and dated some pudgy people, and never minded. It becomes an issue to me when the body is so big it limits access to the mouth for kisses; that is just awkward, you know? As for saying something about it, I would want to know any outstanding physical feature before I met someone. I went on a blind internet date with someone once and he was nearly seven feet tall, which was a huge shocker. Not bad, but I know my eyes went wide and I think that hurt his feelings. But I think it shouldn't matter so much what someone looks like as long as you're compatible.
Oh dear NV, I'm sorry to hear that you may end up with your sister's children. It's too bad when people can't take care of their kids, but hey, it's nice they can have you!
I hated my name in school, had a lot of silly insults thrown my way. Now I know what all the symblism of the Rose is (both the symbol of the coming Buddha AND the Sacred Feminine) and I would never, ever pick a different name. In fact, I love my full name and it's meaning; "Armored Rose of Light" or something to that effect. Shiny. And I think Lila is a fine name, though I probably would have pronounced it LEE-Lah. Sorry.
I would love to pull a 13! I'm unsure as to how I would go about it, though. I guess I need to get out more.
I wish I had pulled a 13 a couple weeks ago; there was a gorgeous speciman at my tea-shop and I really wished I had talked to him. He disappeared before I could excuse myself from the conversation I was in, though.
CK, I commend you! That's very good, and I know what you mean; I like to be shown a lot of affection, too.
The thing about the bedroom and the mall is a very old joke, btw; I don't know if it's even actually true, but it's been on the net for years.
Gosh that was long!

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Friday, June 30, 2006 1:42 AM

PIZ

Quote:
Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
My point in all this is that I *asked* for what I needed.

I wonder what that would be like.

Never experienced it in my (long since ended) marriage.

Quote:
If you go to someone you love and who loves you and say "I need this", without manipulation or coercion (whether by sexual frustration as above, or by tears, or whatever),

Again, wondering what that would be like.

Not to say I was perfect (who is?), but that kind of manipulation (along with, I found out far after the fact, several instances of something a married person isn't supposed to do) is largely the reason I'm still, and likely will forever remain, single. Nearly all the women I've dated since then have only confirmed my conclusion, which is, as Jayne sagely put it, "I say as a rule that girlfolk ain't to be trusted."

--
"That's what a government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

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Friday, June 30, 2006 3:25 AM

Morning, all!

Seems like I missed a bit, too.

Weight--should not really be an issue. I am not a big fan of stick figures, but I am also not a fan of a woman who is at an unhealthy weight. If a person is comfortable with their body and has no health problems, it should not be an issue. Unfortunately, as y'all have pointed out, there are many shallow people in the world.
NVGhostrider, I am sorry you found out what you found out how you found out...damn, that's a mouthful; I hope it made sense. You are not being selfish, you are being realistic. I know enough about you that you will be there if necessary, and will do what needs to be done.
13, I have not had a chance to say so, but what you did took guts. Thank you for sharing with the class

MSG, I love your first name!
LittleAlbatross29, Bryce is also a very pretty name. I don't think it's manly-sounding at all.
Piz, thank you for that! I have seen that somewhere before, and laughed out loud. Personal opinion time: I firmly believe that it is important to find a SO that completes you emotionally, intellectually, etc, but a MAJOR part of any serious relationship is the sexual liasons. Humans, when you boil it down, are sexual beings; some more so than others, yes. I do not think a relationship should be built purely on sex, but on mutual trust, likes, goals, etc. Attraction is important, too, but a relationship should not be based on "Oh, they're pretty. I will marry them and all will be well". I also realize that the sex between a new couple is intense, deeply satisfying, and frequent, and that the passion seems to cool down as you spend more time together. Passions cool, sex becomes somewhat routine and predictable, and one or the other partner becomes bored. You try to throw new things into the mix, the partner is not interested. You end up wondering if this is what it's going to be like for the rest of the relationship.
CaliforniaKaylee, I understand about the affection thing. I may be odd, in that I am a male that likes to have affection showed towards me...but I am also an affectionate person. I do, however, mold my behavior on my partner's, so if there is a slacking of affection from her, I reciprocate. I am glad yours seems to have worked out for you. It's kind of an object lesson to all of us: if you want something from your partner, don't be afraid to ask!
I have a lot on my mind today, apparently, but I don't want to have a novella as my first post!
I shall return with more later.

______________________________________

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Friday, June 30, 2006 3:50 AM

Morning all- Ok Piz I loved that. It reminds me of those women who make me mental. When their SO asks what they want as a gift they say "oh anything is fine", but they have a specific thing in mind and when their SO doesn't get the hint and produce the correct present they get all angry that their SO doesn't know them....since when did relationships come with psychic powers...I'm with CK if you want something or need something open your yap and ask...it's just one of those DUH! moments. If something bugs you or causes you a problem in the relationship then say so! Don't expect the other person to translate a sulky "nothing" into " hey I'm pissed you didn't take out the garbage for the 5th week in a row and I had to do it and was late to work" I think this is why almost all my friends are male. Guys are easier, for the most part. They are pretty straight forward.If they are mad, they act mad and yell at you about what you did. I find that far easier than fake happy with later unkindness and sniping... OK now my post is long too. This is turning into long post day.
I have to go take my husband's car to be fixed, but hopefully ( fingers crossed) this shan't take long! HUGS to all

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, June 30, 2006 4:22 AM

COPILOT

This is soooo cool!!!!!!!!!!
I got laid!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Post ex coming over and making me cry
Twice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Copilot

An I carried such a torch

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Friday, June 30, 2006 4:23 AM

morning all.

I have a question. Well really I just need thoughts. I have dark brown hair. Liberally laced with grey (I started going gray at 27) I die my hair, but it gets darker and darker - I am thinking of just going all silver. Sort if like emmylou harris

I guess I am wondering if this will just make me look old?

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Friday, June 30, 2006 4:24 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:

This is soooo cool!!!!!!!!!!
I got laid!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Post ex coming over and making me cry
Twice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Copilot

An I carried such a torch

YAY for the sex! YAY

was it worthwhile?

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Friday, June 30, 2006 5:02 AM

Yay for sex!

MSG: Lila!? LILA!? Lila is a hell of a lot better than freakin' 'Braedan Alexander!' Now, thanks to my brother, everybody in school refers to me as 'Bra,' 'Brady,' 'Breeding,' and can NEVER spell it right! No idea how many gifts or cards I've opened to see: BREADEN. Okay. Name rant over. Ms. Lila G...nice ring to it.

FMF: Once you go gray, there ain't no other way!
Jus' kidding. Gray can very attractive, actually. When it starts to fall out, then you've got a problem.

YAY FOR SEX!

-------------------------------------------------

'I don't know. He seems kind of peculiar.'

'Maybe he's Canadian!'

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Friday, June 30, 2006 5:11 AM

Thanks 13 ( and I think Braeden is a lovely scottish name...means valient warrior)
FMF- Why don't you do something fun and wild before you decide. DO a light brown with gold highlights or a nice soft reddish brown..that'll look good and need less work 'cause it's lighter. If you don't like that..go grey:) I think you'll be hot no matter what
Copilot...oooh nothing like getting some to make the day a bit brighter;)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, June 30, 2006 5:15 AM

13

Braeden Alexander is cool! I assume it is pronounced Bray-den? Thats cool. Even if it isn't pronounced that way.

And I will make sure it doesn't fall out!

MSG - Lila is a beautiful name. At least it isn't boring like Tracy and you didn;t have to listen to Dick Tracy jokes your whole life!

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Friday, June 30, 2006 5:22 AM

No that's true, but actually ( not kidding here) I desperately wanted to be named Tracy...the cutest girl in our whole elementary school was named Tracy and I envied her...and as Lila is actually short for Delilah, there are a lot of worse jokes available...plus no one ever got my name right ( still don't for that matter)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, June 30, 2006 5:24 AM

Hey, FMF, where's Madonna? Heh. Sorry.

It is pronounced Bray-den, and I don't like it because it makes me think of dwarves, hobbits, and ponies with pink ribbon.

And it's 'Braedan,' with an A. I've said that more times than there are days I've been alive. It's my catchphrase!

Once again, YAY FOR SEX!

-------------------------------------------------

'I don't know. He seems kind of peculiar.'

'Maybe he's Canadian!'

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Friday, June 30, 2006 5:31 AM

Madonna is in England attempting to forge an English accent.

You can take the girl out of Detroit, but you can't take.......

I declare that "Braeden with an A" is the coolest name on the planet.

Unless you are Scout. Then that is cooler.

MSG, my dad's best friend up in t'holler was a Tracy.

I never knew any but 1, until I moved to the UK. I was then the middle house in 3 that had wives named Tracy and of course there is the bigamist wife name Tracy.

I think I need a new name. I am thinking of going my my middle name of Renee.

As for lighter brown - I have done it all. I am just tired of the sudden and inevitable greys peeping through the dye. AARRRHHHGGGGGGHHHHHH

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Friday, June 30, 2006 5:33 AM

Before I get going I'd like to extend a big HOORAY to our lovely little COPILOT. I'm so happy for you. RIGHT ON!

FMF- I-ve had a white streak since I was about 13. Needless to say I don't have alot to say about the grey.

13-Glad to have a more innocent point of view present. Kinda refreshing.

TRISTAN- Where ya been hoss?

So here it is. I spoke a little too soon. About the time I posted the issues with my sister and her kids yesterday, a search warrant was executed at our house. She's charged with three counts of posession of drug paraphenalia and three counts of posession with intent to distribute. Her boyfriend, (an illegal immigratant), has the same drug charges plus posession of a short barreled shotgun. Oh what a day. Tired.

MAL: "What happen about me?"

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Friday, June 30, 2006 5:34 AM

Copilot, good on yer! Sex...wow...sex is good, when you can get it! Enjoy!

FMF, you would look gorgeous with siler hair...yup, may have to tie my jaw back up after thinking about that one...

13, you will appreciate that name when you get older. It is very strong.

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Friday, June 30, 2006 5:36 AM