Male and Female Imponderables--All the World's a Stage by Tristan

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Muuurrrrrrrrrrrr, now I have "Take a Bow" in my head...

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Monday, July 10, 2006 2:47 AM

DEEPGIRL187

That's not so bad. I think it was one of Madonna's better songs.

Any ideas for some imponderables? I'm still brain-dead this early in the morning.

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"I...won't be just a memory."

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Monday, July 10, 2006 2:51 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Oh, I think it's a beautiful song. Just sort of sad.
Hey, so music; how important is it that your SO share or at least accept your tastes in music?

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Monday, July 10, 2006 2:58 AM

DEEPGIRL187

Well...it depends on the SO's taste.

I have very diverse tastes in music and I will listen to almost anything. That is, almost.

There are two places where I have to draw the line. Rap and country. That is not to say all rap and country are bad. I'm a big fan of Kanye West and Tupac Shakur, and I also like Patsy Cline and Hank Williams (senior, definitely not Junior). However, once you start getting into artists like 50 Cent, Lil Jon, or Toby Keith, that's... a bit beyond me. One can only have so much tolerance.

Other than those two areas, I'm pretty open-minded.

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"I...won't be just a memory."

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Monday, July 10, 2006 3:11 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Well, that's kind of what I meant. I wouldn't go out with someone who liked (insert horrible Emo band here) or Britney Spears, say. Or country on basically any level. I've heard some that I could tolerate, but mostly not so much. And I agree on the rap thing; even the ones I like grind my nerves eventually. And if someone can't accept my own musical tastes there's usually some friction. Well, always, really.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 3:16 AM

DAYVE

Good Monday Morning (if that's possible)......

jumping on the music theme, i would have to say that i'm right there with deepgirl187 - most rap and pert-near all country music set my teeth on edge - it's funny, cause i am a 'country boy' and i have been to my share of ole time country dances - SPJST - Sons Of Herman - Honky Tonk saloons and all the places that are known for their country music bent - usually when we go to places like that it is with older friends who like the texas two step style of dance - with good company and a couple of beers i will even swing around the floor a few times (and it is kinda fun).... but my SO and i both grew up with the rock/protest songs of the 60's/70's ringing our ears. Back when music stood for something - and the progression, in our case, has been to jazz - i've always enjoyed it and my SO has shared my enthusiasm for this music. Lately, we've been listening to Electronic -and my new favorite is Gotan Project - sort of Techo/Tango.... very cool....
ok, going to work now....i'll be back later in the day

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Monday, July 10, 2006 3:38 AM

Morning, all!

Music. Well, I'm with most of you so far...not a real big fan of most rap and modern country. I love bluegrass and the older country (Patsy Cline, etc), but that is not my main listening choice. Well, I don't really have a main listening choice. Eclectic. Yeah, that about describes it. One thing I do not like is techno or house music. I can stand a few of them, but not alot. The wife and I have some shared likes in music, but not everything. It hasn't caused any problems...some jokes, but no problems.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 3:39 AM

Morning all...well my husband and I have seriously differnt tastes in music ( his is sadly frozen in heavy metal) we just go with separate ipods:) so I never have to listen to his icky music:)

Oh you will all love this...Teachers in Utah are no longer allowed to have pages on my space or to log into the chat features in my space. Apparently, though there have been no problems, the state wishes to prevent any issues that could result. I love teaching in a theocracy. Hey at least they finally removed the if you're pregnant you must quit rule...

Hey I have an imponderable...would you travel on a long trip without your SO or would you take a job that meant you had to be away from your SO for 4-6 months?

EDIT- and would you trust your SO to go visit a friend of the opposite sex without you?
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:05 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Probably not... No... And no. Hang out with? Sure. Visit? No.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:10 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

My SO was always away for 6 months or more. Gullible idiot that I am, it never occured to me. As for the opposite sex friend visit, it depends on the nature of the relationship, I have male friends that it would never occur to me to be "physical" with. In my situation, I would say NO.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:16 AM

FMF- hey trust is good! it's jut too bad your trust was misplaced. Oh and I just bought a tee shirt that totally made me thing of you. It's mocking that stupid " you had me at hello" thing from Jerry Maguire. It says " you had me at hell no"

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:18 AM

Morning, msg!
I have a problem with the not being allowed to have a myspace page...just something not right about a school board being able to tell you what you can and cannot have online. I realize why, but it still bothers me.

Travel or a job that takes me away from my SO for a long period of time...I don't think so. Wouldn't be happy being away from her that long. And, yes, I would trust my SO to visit a friend of the opposite sex; the wife has a male friend who likes console games as much as she does (and he has a big screen tv). As long as I know the nature of the relationship and feel comfortable with it. I know the nature of this friendship, and all is well. I will admit to ocassionally feeling a bit squirrely about it, but that is my typical reaction...my wife is beautiful, a spark of life, and I fear losing her to a better man every now and then.
Did not mean to type all that...could have just answered like PR with 'yes' or 'no'...sorry!

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:21 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Oh where did you get it? I MUST GET ONE! That and the "She's tore up plenty" shirt will be my outfits of choice!

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:23 AM

I have a problem with it too Tristan. If they don't want teachers accessing it at school that's one thing, but to ban us from it completely because they have decided it has a bad reputation is insane. I would guess that what you have a problem with ( and it's what I have a problem with) is regulating teacher's personal lives. I mean if they have aproblem with a teacher doing something inappropriate then discipline/fire that teacher don't preemptively attempt to control us in case we " might" do something. Sorry just irritated and waiting for the teachers aren't allowed to go on any chat sites law which will likely follow.
EDIT-FMF hot topic...oh and I went bonkers on Cafe press and got the black market beagles tee and a few others:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:25 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

What kind of "problems" could possibly arise from being on MySpace? Honestly.
You're a saint to put up with all that

Ms. G. I think the trophy is in order again.

They better not take our Ms G from us!

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:29 AM

msg, you hit the nail on the head. Teachers should have as much "freedom" as everyone else. I do know of one news story involving a teacher and myspace, but that was just a lack of common sense on the teacher's part. I realize that myspace does not have the best reputation, but that is not the point; the point is they are trying to tell teachers what they can and cannot do outside of school. No. Should not be right. It's not the site so much as the concept behind it. Really, really pisses me off.

Sorry, I am done. Forgive my outburst.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:36 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Excellent rant, Tristan!

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:38 AM

Thanks. Sorry, but there are few things that get to me more than some entity trying to tell someone what they can and can't do in their personal lives. Y'all have just found my "go off" button.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:47 AM

EMMARIGBY

You think that's an invasion of privacy? I have a friend in Japan who used to work for a big company and she got given weekly drug tests to test for alcohol and tobacco as well as other substances. Their staff were not allowed to drink ever, not even at weekends. Plus they wore sensors so that their locations within the building could be monitored at all times and if they took more than 3 toilet breaks a day, or if they lasted longer than 5 minutes, they were reprimanded. She doesn't work there anymore as they 'let her go' when she got married so that she would be free to care for her husband. At this point in her e-mail I passed out from the indignation and woke up later feeling immense gratitude that I was born in the UK. She was used to such treatment though. When she was growing up her father would line up his 3 girls and publically weigh them and if they'd gained more than a pound would cut back their diet.

Have I got everyone steaming now?!

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Hissssssssss!

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:51 AM

KENOBIUS

Oh, you guys tricked me plenty. I saw "All the world's a stage" and clicked away thinking I was going to share theater experiences or something. Naughty, naughty.

Anyways, to add my very mysterious two cents:

-Music tastes should not damper a relationship, but today's country is soul-less and rap without lyrics that move you is stupid and useless.

-My previous relationship ruined my trust. Not in her, but in mankind. I once placed a recording device on her (willingly and for fun, common, quit staring) to my one of my friend's house. He wanted her to leave my house and go to his, alone. She recorded things I couldn't believe I was hearing.

-Teachers should be put on the highest possible ladder. They deserve it. Genuine teachers that is. Not BS profs who just want to make money and not change the world. And it's completely stupid that the school system is allowed to tell you what to do outside of their compound. You've earned the right to have a personal life by trying to teach back-births who just go to school to show off their trucks. Having gone back to my high school to visit with teachers/get yelled at by them, I see what the future of America is, and it saddens me. Pat yourselves on the back teachers, you are doing the impossible, and that makes you mighty.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:51 AM

...

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:55 AM

yeah pisses me off some too, but I'm used to it. The morals section of my contract is larger than any other section. I cannot author any sexually oriented ( including romance novels)material. I cannot be associated with any online "adult" materials ( they would actually define what we do here as adult since our conversations are about sex) If my spouse or I are found to be in possession of pornography (even in our homes)I can be fired for all of these things and more... Mostly everyone just sort of takes these with a grain of salt and just tries not to get caught. Usually it's not a problem unless they want to get rid of a teacher and then they will search for violations. If you think this is scary..you should see our liquor laws:)

EDIT- ok now I'm sooo happy I don't teach in Japan:) see I knew someone had it worse:) It's just a good thing I love my little minions enough to put up with the crap:) I must say though they are really worth it! They are such great kids( and fun too)
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, July 10, 2006 4:58 AM

PENGUIN

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
...

Well said...

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Monday, July 10, 2006 5:01 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Soo.... Teachers aren't supposed to be human then? I'm amazed they allow you to have sex with your spouse in any way shape or form.
Is Utah one of the states with the "Sex in missionary lights out curtains drawn" laws? I can't remember.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 5:02 AM

DEEPGIRL187

Emma - I guess all of that makes you glad we support Equality Now, doesn't it?

MsG - Have you thought about moving to another state?

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"I...won't be just a memory."

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Monday, July 10, 2006 5:02 AM

Thanks. I either rant or get to the point where I have so much to say I don't know where to start.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 5:17 AM

EMMARIGBY

It is true that the Big Brother attitude that you work under truly sucks but from what I can gather at least they have a fairly healthy attitude to the actual teaching. I have a friend who is a teacher who spends ages preparing wonderful lesson plans such as roleplaying debates where each group of pupils has to argue the position of one of the countries at the Treaty of Versaille and see if they could come up with a better resolution than the one that led to World War 2 when each group is fixated on their own agendas. The pupils have a blast, get all dressed up and thoroughly inspired and then she gets slapped down for conducting classes that are too unruly and 'a bit challenging'. It was recommended that in future she use multiple choice worksheets. Sob. I hate to live in a world where it is considered politically incorrect to 'challenge' kids!

Okay, seems like I'm on a rant today! Anything to avoid the work (which is definately too challenging!!)

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Hissssssssss!

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Monday, July 10, 2006 5:18 AM

PDCHARLES

What happened? He see your face?

Damn Utah... Here comes the PAX... or the Borg.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 5:21 AM

yeah they might be a pain, but this stater is big on innovative, research based, instruction. Worksheets are frowned upon. Our state pays for and mandates 32 hours per year of training in new educational theories and research on instruction. I figure I can put up with the medieval attitudes as long as I can take care of my students:)
Anyway, back to an imponderable moment...So you think that a little jealousy helps or hurts a relationship??

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, July 10, 2006 5:27 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

That's a tricky question. I like a touch of jealousy shown at times. Ex of Doom used to get jealous if I was hit on, but not if I was checking someone out. I thought that was a good mix. I got jealous if he had a female friend he was really close to, especially if he said "She's cute, you'd like her." Yeah, okay, I know what he was trying to say, but at the same time my brain went "Wait, you think she's cute?! You better tell me I am gorgeous right now!" I tried not to make a big deal about it, though. I don't think it was jealousy that hurt our relationship. At this point, I don't think anyone could really say what it was.
Ok, longer than I meant. I appreciate a little "Hey she's with me" stance; makes me feel appreciated.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 5:31 AM

RUGBUG

Howdy all! Back from a great weekend of riding, hanging out and driving around topless...I mean...with the top off my car and enjoying the amazing weather. It was finally HOT. :Rugbug does the happy dance:

MSG: You're making me glad I didn't stay in teaching for very long. I signed the contract, had no problem with the moral section as I remember it, but that was 8 years ago. I would have a serious fit if the district tried to dictate harmless internet usage. Myspace is only as bad as you make it, which in my case, if very tame. (I don't even understand the purpose. Is it a dating site? Am I suppose to be trolling for manflesh? If so, I am doing a horrible job. I can't even figure out how to send things to anyone.) And what exactly is myspace's rep?

There was some talk of trust that I missed, although I did say before that if I can't trust someone, I won't let them close. I think allowing yourself to trust again after you've been burned is one of the hardest things to do, but it is also very important. If you close yourself off and don't allow yourself to trust again, even with the possibility of being hurt all over, you will never be successful in a relationship.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 5:32 AM

I think that's good:) 'cause people flirting with you= you feel hot and all. You flirting with others = you're looking for someone new:( not so good)
Anyway, sadly I must go. I am watching my nephew so my sis in law can get her hair done...then watching my niece so my sister can go to the dentist. Hopefully if the cuties choose to nap, I can post some...otherwise. I'll see you in about 8 hours:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, July 10, 2006 5:34 AM

PDCHARLES

What happened? He see your face?

I have never been the jealous type.

I think if jealousy gets extreme it can be very hurtful. My ex was a bartender for two years of our relationship so I had to used to guys constantly hitting on her. She played along to an extent, to raise her tips, but never took it too far. I have been in another relationship where any girl that looked at me was a bitch.

No good there.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 5:38 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER

Mornin' all. Gotta catch up. Busy Monday.

MAL: "What happen about me?"

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Monday, July 10, 2006 5:40 AM

Jealousy helping a relationship? Oy, that's a tough one. I think there's a fine line between being a little jealous and stark raving mad. I think I should explain my stance before I go any further...might clear some things up or lead to an interesting debate.
As a general rule, I am not a generic jealous type. If my SO is checking out other people, and they are doing the same, all is well. If she flirts and is flirted with, all is well...assuming it does not go too far. Most jealousy stems from the physical side; you don't want your SO to have sex with anyone but you. I have that feeling as well, but it would be worse to me if I lost their love and/or respect. When it comes to a relationship, I want the lion's share of my SO's love and affection. I am not expecting it all, but I do want to know that I am the "one" in their lives. It would be worse for me if my SO fell in love with someone else than if she slept with someone else (unless it was the same person). Not saying I would want my SO to sleep with anyone else, just trying to put it into perspective. Hope that makes sense.

Back to the question. Yes, a little bit of jealousy is healthy; it keeps you from getting complacent.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 5:47 AM

KENOBIUS

I am far too trusting in everyday life. Someone says "Trust me" I probably will. I just give people too much credit, I guess. That or I am the world's biggest sucker.

As for jealously, it's been far too long since I've gotten to judge if I've gotten better with it. I'm a battered and bruised person on the inside, self-confidence isn't my strong point. So I get very paranoid.

http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

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Monday, July 10, 2006 6:06 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

You know, I just realized that this thread kinda depresses me. All you people out there with lives and SO's. I am lonely :(

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Monday, July 10, 2006 6:13 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER

Lives? SO's?

Depression is a lovely meal served best with heartache and a nice green salad.

I love all of you, but I must agree with FMF.

Can someone pass the tea?

"Where do bad folks go when they die?"

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Monday, July 10, 2006 6:17 AM

PDCHARLES

What happened? He see your face?

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
You know, I just realized that this thread kinda depresses me. All you people out there with lives and SO's. I am lonely :(

Right there wit ya FMF.

We'll be shiny-happy-people-holding-hands one day soon.

When your going through hell... keep going WC

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Monday, July 10, 2006 6:22 AM

Damn. Sorry, FMF and NVG...:hugs: You know both of you have the love of all of us here.

Um, I have coffee, but no tea...

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Monday, July 10, 2006 6:27 AM

EMMARIGBY

Not everyone has found their soul mates yet, I sure haven't. But at least I get to hang out with fun people whilst I wait.

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Hissssssssss!

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Monday, July 10, 2006 6:35 AM

LYSANDER

I hink that a little jealousy works for relationships. Emphasis on the a little part. It is good to know that your SO is jealous. That shows that there is still a lot of strong feelings.

And for all of you others without SOs, keep at it. I know that it is hard to wait, but something good will eventually happen.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 6:35 AM

RUGBUG

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
You know, I just realized that this thread kinda depresses me. All you people out there with lives and SO's. I am lonely :(

Ah, FMF, let me make you feel better. I have no SO and very little life (although it's enough life for me). Some people would call it lonely, but I'm a solitary type person, so alone doesn't translate to lonely.

Lately, however, I've realized I have very few RL friends that live close enough to do anything with. I live in a small town, that while wonderful, is very expensive to live. Most of my friends have moved away with the "someday I'll move back" hope. I've stayed. I want to go see the new Pirates movie and can't think of anyone to go with me. That's kind of sad. My life is full of acquaintances and few friends.

And yesterday was my birthday and I spent it alone. I rode a few horses (that made the day great), put together some new furniture (that was pretty cool too) but no one I saw during the day knew it was my birthday. One friend came over around 10:30 at night to give me flowers, so that's something. That's probably TMI, and I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me...I don't feel it, so why should y'all...But I probably have you beat on small lives at this point.

Bigger and better things:

Jealousy: There's good jealousy and bad jealousy. I think a little good jealousy can keep the spark going in a relationship. Knowing your partner is desired by others is a nice thing. And channelling that energy postively is important. But when you begin to feel threatened, it's time to look at yourself first and then your SO. There's justified and unjustified jealousy. It's important to suss out which is which before you make a stink. Trying to control an SO because you feel jealous due to your own insecurities is really crappy.

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Monday, July 10, 2006 6:50 AM