Male and Female Imponderables--What's done is done by Tristan

I tend to make a fool of myself. Not as much of a doofus as I'd like to think. Damn, I was bursting at the seams with an answer, but its gone now. Try back in a bit.

"Where do bad folks go when they die?"

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:50 AM

msg...not so much doofus as showing off to impress the ladies. Sort of like in nature. We do not have the plumage of a peacock, so we use what we were given...our seeming unlimited ability to do stupid, life-threatening things to impress potential mates. Sometimes it works, other times we end up alone yet again.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:51 AM

I think I should clarify I don't mean acting stupid...I mean changing appearance, suddenly taking an interest in things they never liked, and generally making themselves look like comepletely different people than they really are. How is this helpful. The girl who then gets involved with the "new " guy will later end up frustrated and disappointed because he's not the guy he seemed to be and the guy will be frustrated because he couldn't keep the girl...

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:51 AM

(Copied from the old page)

I really don't have an answer. I guess females makes our innards go all fuzzy and wobbly, making it very difficult to think properly. I know I am guiltily as charged. I could learn a billion lines and do the most embarrassing things on stage, but I can't talk to a girl without it turning sour real fast.

EDIT: Gorram ninjas! Now I gotta answer that question as well. I don't think there is any excuse for why we do it. Just that primal chase we've never fully gotten out of performing. Damnable hormones will make liars and assholes out of us.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:51 AM

PENGUIN

Thanks Tristan!

Cuz alcohol and/or testosterone makes men do stupid things...

They override the "common-sense" area of the brain.

(edit...after clarification) I think men enjoy the hunt and will do whatever it takes to "get" a woman, but then revert to their true selves afterwards. That's one reason I don't think women should rush into anything with a man. Make sure he's what he says he is... I think women fall for the "peacock" but then realize they have a dodo.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:55 AM

Penguin...been there, have the scars to prove it!

msg, I understand now. See, it's because a female confounds a male. You are the greatest thing in the world, and most males will do anything to be sure you do not leave us. This includes changing our appearance, mannerisms, etc to better fit into your view of how we should be. We do not lose our own identity, we just try to change to meet all your needs.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:58 AM

STILLFLYIN

I'm of the opinion that I am who I am, and I will not change that for any man... or woman

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 6:58 AM

Ya know, I'd seen both sexes do this alot. That's why dating seems so stupid tome. But so does jumping in head first. Can't be happy with anything. Crap.

On a side note, I figured out my next fantasy fling. In the middle of a lake on a ski doo. Wanted to try on a motorcycle down the highway, but that whole Darwin list thing scared me off.
So much for the skydiving fantasy.

"Where do bad folks go when they die?"

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:00 AM

PENGUIN

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
Penguin...been there, have the scars to prove it!

msg, I understand now. See, it's because a female confounds a male. You are the greatest thing in the world, and most males will do anything to be sure you do not leave us. This includes changing our appearance, mannerisms, etc to better fit into your view of how we should be. We do not lose our own identity, we just try to change to meet all your needs.

Of course women have makeup and wonder bras! lol

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:01 AM

um NV- hate to tell you but the Jetski thing is dang hard..the water keeps hitting you and it's hard to balance even at slow speeds so the person on the bottom gets bit bruised up

or so I've been told "ahem"

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:02 AM

Skydiving?

Damn.

-------------------------------------------------

'It's Braedan. With an A.'

'Shiny moments aren't a destination any of us get to, and stay put forever. They're unknowable, brief flashes in time. That's what makes them shiny.' -GorramReevers

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:03 AM

RUGBUG

Quote:
Originally posted by Penguin:

Of course women have makeup and wonder bras! lol

Oh, but that's not changing who we are, that's enhancing what the good lord gave us.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:05 AM

ok... once again, i'm going against the grain here - (you guys are gonna give be the boot one day...) but on the doofus dude....well, like i've said before, a good sense of humor does wonders for breaking the ice sometimes - and as far as "don't go changing to try to please me" (ouch, sorry)... one of the first girls to ever give me that 'come hither' look was in a little cafe in a small town that i would hang out in.... i was there one day in my scruffy hang-ten surfer shirt and some ratty cutoffs (i was being me - at the time)... so i learned early on that if you are comfortable with who you are that sense of security translates to positive reactions from others...or, don't try to impress someone by being someone you're not.... it worked that day in the cafe (and quite nicely i might add)

endeavor to persevere...

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:12 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Dayve:
ok... once again, i'm going against the grain here - (you guys are gonna give be the boot one day...) but on the doofus dude....well, like i've said before a good sense of humor does wonders for breaking the ice sometimes - and as far as "don't go changing to try to please me" (ouch, sorry)... one of the first girls to ever give me that 'come hither' look was in a little cafe in a small town that i would hang out in.... i was there one day in my scruffy hang-ten surfer shirt and some ratty cutoffs (i was being me - at the time)... so i learned early on that if you are comfortable with who you are that sense of security translates to positive reactions from others...or, don't try to impress someone by being someone you're not.... it worked that day in the cafe (and quite nicely i might add)

endeavor to persevere...

Have I asked you lately to marry me?!?

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:15 AM

FMF - you are such a temptress..... all i can say is maybe we'll hook up in the next go-round....

endeavor to persevere...

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:16 AM

I'm having to craziest luck lately! I'm supposed to be out of my apartment by aug 9! We made too much noise apparently. I was planning on moving to humbolt on aug 10 anyway. Now I don't owe them any money! New boy does like me! He was out of town and crashed his car so he wasn't calling me. I feel bad because I basically told him come over or you don't care last night. Hopefully he understands tequillia and mushrooms do special things to you're brains cells. Oh well i was way entertained by my fingers to care that he didn't come over. I like him so very much! I want him to be with me forever. He's the only person to ever make me not want anyone else to touch me!!!!!!!!! Yipes!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I might be getting in over my head!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:17 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Just popping in to the shiny new thread to say I need to go to bed soon. Try not to get too far ahead of me? Heh.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:18 AM

Story of my life these days

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:19 AM

Took me awhile, but I also figured out it's better to be who I am than try to change to meet someone's needs. Now, I am who I am and happy to be so. Just took several years to figure out...

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:23 AM

Thanks for sharing. Gives me hope. How 'bout y'all? Things go to crap so often that it is hard to see one posative gorram thing.

Entertained by your fingers? That may be TMI. Or not. Depends. I don't really don't know how to take it.

What the hell, jump in.

Rambling

I'll be in my bunk.

ADD: Thanks FMF. Needed the Tigger to face the day. Gotta go see the big bosses about Sixty grand in missing funds (their fault, not ours).

"Where do bad folks go when they die?"

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:27 AM

I was waving my fingers in front of my face! I don't know if that constiutes too much information. If it does I'm sorry. I'm just being incredably open today and probably for the rest of my life. I can't keep secrets anymore! I don't have the energie to be cageie!

Edit~It seems the more "me" I get the more the world around me loves me. I do crazy rediculious stuff and loose things and walk into walls. The people around me laugh and hug me and call me magic! I'm some much needed entertainment it seems.

Arrrrgggggggg I know he's at work but I want him here right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:36 AM

I guess you have to know yourself before you can know others. I agree on the secrets thing copilot, it's not worth the energy anymore. People ask me how I am doing, I don't lie anymore, I tell them "Pretty lonely" Someone asks me what I want to do with my life, I tell them "No idea."

Same thing with makin' people smile. I'll be the idiot if people find it funny. As much as I hate it down here on the bottom, I don't want others trapped here too. If that makes any sense.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:37 AM

RUGBUG

Dont mind me. Just playing here to see if this works:

Oh, you guys are in for it now. I found out how to use other emoticons. See, I'm not a dumb blonde, I'm just a blonde with too little time on her hands.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:38 AM

Anticipation is the worst. My suggestion. Bottle it up. Occupy yourself. Do a puzzle or something. Then, when he arrives, attack him like a starving Cougar.

About the finger thing, that was my first guess.

(Points) Its the magic COPILOT. Everyone bask in her shiny greatness!

"Where do bad folks go when they die?"

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:39 AM

MAL4PREZ

Here's an imponderable - may be more of a ramble than a question...

A thing I'm finding in my dating adventures: I have a pretty srong personality and I'm quite sure of myself. I think the poor fellas see this and step lightly around me, which makes sense in this day and age of the kinder, more sensitive male. But...

I've been realizing that I want a 50/50 kind of thing. I want a man to take charge and be opinionated, as long as he's willing to let me do the same.

um... example. If a guy's iffy about what to do on a date, I'll just say let's go here and do this. Because I'm impatient. And they don't argue. But I really would be fine if a man had a different plan and whisked me away. That could even be romantic and fun.

To make it a question: guys - do you feel like the new age of feminine power traps you into being meek? How have you managed to find a balance?

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:41 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Entertained by your fingers? That may be TMI.

ah...i could stand to hear some more.......

endeavor to persevere...

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:51 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by mal4prez:
....do you feel like the new age of feminine power traps you into being meek? How have you managed to find a balance?

i'll bite (btw-i didn't mean to crude in my last post - just reminded of that Jayne line...)

but the question sorta goes back to the whole 'be yourself' thing....
i have never felt intidated by women - i even let them open doors for me.... i don't think that makes me meek.... i firmly believe in gender equality and if that makes me less of a man in someones eyes...then that person needs to have his eyes examined.....

one thing i will not stand for is bigotry in any form or fashion....

endeavor to persevere...

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:55 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by mal4prez:

To make it a question: guys - do you feel like the new age of feminine power traps you into being meek? How have you managed to find a balance?

New age?

I haven't really managed, then again, I'm a pretty meek guy to begin with. Also, haven't been on a date in forever.

I actually like it when the ladies know what they want and aren't afraid to tell you about it. I guess that's the happy balance for me; speaking your mind.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:59 AM

Copilot I love your go for it enthusiasm,but slow down hon and look very very carefully ok...not through the haze please. I am not saying he isn't great, but I am saying you are and I want you to be really happy like you deserve so go nice and slow:)

NV- you want minor happiness? Will that help? I am personally very happy today 'cause I splurged at bath and body works ( sells lotions, body wash, perfume, etc.) and now I smell fabulous. Got shampoo, conditioner, body wash,perfume and lotion all in the same scent and just spent an hour in the happy grooming phase so I am all silky and happy and I love that I smell like coconut lime verbena:)See this is why I am so annoyingly happy and positive. The dumbest little things make me incredibly happy.Also got room freshner so house smells nice too( I like house to look clean, but I love it when it smells clean too)

OK I keep wanting to ask this question, but it's a bit racy and kind of personal and a bit silly sooo...I'm not sure y'all want to be involved in it. hmmm

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:03 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Dayve:
Quote:
Originally posted by mal4prez:
....do you feel like the new age of feminine power traps you into being meek? How have you managed to find a balance?

i'll bite (btw-i didn't mean to crude in my last post - just reminded of that Jayne line...)

but the question sorta goes back to the whole 'be yourself' thing....
i have never felt intidated by women - i even let them open doors for me.... i don't think that makes me meek.... i firmly believe in gender equality and if that makes me less of a man in someones eyes...then that person needs to have his eyes examined.....

one thing i will not stand for is bigotry in any form or fashion....

endeavor to persevere...

I am just gonna keep asking!

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:03 AM

ask away MSG!

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:04 AM

Mal4prez: Well if you're going for equality in the relationship, and yet you're finding that you're overridding on the guy... well, to your question, not really.

The new age thing, it's definitly a factor, and them "meek" guys (myself included) are, or should be worried as much about the SO's feelings as their own equally, that's fair. However, no one's perfect, if you find a meek guy, my guess is they already have the respect for females ingrained in em, they're just shy. So you just have to worry about getting the guy to take a more active roll.

All this is in opposition to the older male stereotype of controling the relationship and organizing everything blah blah, and if you find someone who does that, I'd be worried as it'd be harder for them to go down to 50/50.

As for the organization thing, where you have the idea and the guy just agrees, that's because he's afraid of pissing you off, new age of feminism not-with-standing, he doesnt want to piss you off. Imo, the motivating factor of a guy early in a relationship is to not piss off the girl as they could leave the guy n all, and if that annoys you folks, well... that's where awkwardness insues.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:08 AM

ok "WINCE" here's the thing, I keep reading that guys prefer ( ok this is my attempt to keep this from being trashy) good landscaping in a womans um bikini area. So do they??? I don't want to TMI the lot of you unless you want the info ( happy to answer just don't want to overshare)with my bikini area, but I would love to know if guys perfer trimmed, natural, or barren.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:08 AM

MAL4PREZ

Interesting answer Whitefall...

So, how do I draw these meek guys out? Maybe I just need to be patient, give them time to see I'm really soft and squishy inside and they need not fear the Wrath of Me?

MSG - where's the racy question? Bring it on!!

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:10 AM

Mal4Prez, no, not so much meek as accommodating. I am not a sub by any means, but I do like to keep the wife happy. I'll ask her opinion as to where she wants to go. If she knows, that's fine by me, as I am not all that picky. If she doesn't know, I will suggest things. If that doesn't work, I will choose. Now, of course, there will be times when I will play at being sub..."no, dear, wherever you want to go is fine"-type thing...which usually ends with me getting smacked

. I have never been hesitant about voicing my opinion as to where to go; just that very rarely does it impact on my enjoyment of being with the SO. I don't think the "empowered" woman concept has emasculated me. *And off Tristan goes once again!*
I try to be sure my wife is happy 24/7. As you know, this is not possible. I am relatively easy to please; she knows this, I know this, all things are well. In my attempts to keep her happy, I sometimes bend when I shouldn't. I do not see this as meekness or complacency, I see it as loving my wife, and trying to keep her happy. I can be terse if necessary. I have not yet been laconic, but I have skipped right over into the "not talking" phase a time or two, but things always work out. Love will make someone do things they normally wouldn't. I will not back down from anyone, be it woman or man, unless I choose to do so. I choose to be this way with my wife in order to try to make her life a bit happier.
So endeth the sermon once again. I would apologize for going off, but I don't want to appear meek to y'all.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:10 AM

I don't know about the men. But in my own personal hygiene, I prefer the less is more theory

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:12 AM

ok since you're sharing FMF...I'm right with you ( brazilian) but I am curious as to the guys response:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:13 AM

As to drawing said meek guys out, bah, I dunno, that could be either inexperience that they just need someone to tell them (maybe not in so many words) that you arent gonna be pissed if they express their own opinions... on the other hand, could be a real confidence psychological issue, and well... though they'll probably eventually figure it out, may not want to wait on that.

Keep in mind, what do I know, though I'm a reasonable observer of my own male condition and all them human conditions, i have 0% actual experience in the field of dating.

On MSG's subject. I, as the 17 year old, havent the slightest clue what you're talking about, and for once I fear it may be bordering on TMI, but meh, dont want to stifle your conversations.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:16 AM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Hey all, been lurking all morning once again. I'm off to see my rheumatologist in just a few minutes. I've been preparing to have to fight her about some of my test results. All part of the joy of trying to get a diagnosis.

So completely off topic for the Imponderables, I know, but wish me luck.

Oh, and I mentioned the new job possibility yesterday -- still no word on that, but my body decided to remind me yesterday that the new job may not be that great of a fit with my health concerns. So I'm very much beh on that now. If I get an interview and an offer, I'll deal with it then, but for now I'm not sitting next to the phone any more.

*Hugs* to all you, my fellow Imponderable-ers. I'll check in when I get back. ;P

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:20 AM

I just got out of a relationship that was mainly a 75 to 25%. I was on the loseing end. Now I'm 22 and I've never really solved a problem on my own.

MSG-I've been a coward my whole life! I jump head first into love and life with a clear head as well. You only live once! Who even cares if he turns out to be the worlds biggest ass? If he is he'll break my heart and I'll be greatfull for the experience.

It takes so much just to feel alive! Or it could be that I havn't taken my lithium in over two months. I've been okay I havn't died. I think he just wanted to normal me out for a while! If you don't want me don't have me. I'm unadultrated Dentatia! F**k if you can't handle it. That wasn't aimed at anyone in this forum it was aimed at the world around me. I might be a crazy person who can't control what comes out her mouth but I love you anyway!

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:20 AM

Good luck!

MSG, wow, good question... I'm just going to say it. Either trimmed or nothing at all. Not a forest dweller.

...Yep, that went well.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:23 AM

PENGUIN

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
ok since you're sharing FMF...I'm right with you ( brazilian) but I am curious as to the guys response:)

Less is much better...

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:24 AM

That's the spirit Copilot, FIGHT THE POWER!!!

But just keep in mind that most of the folks on this board have done that whole loved n lost thing, some of them with ex-es, so they/we are just worried you're running that relationship too fast. We're like a conglomerate of mother hens. Aint we fabulous?

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:25 AM

msg, that depends on the situation. Let's see if I can do this without hitting TMI...sorry to those younger ones amongst us, but this is the type of topic we ocassionally hit here in the Imponderables. We do try to maintain an aura of decorum, though.
To look at, it doesn't really matter. I do prefer neatness when it comes to that, but I am not picky. For other things, I have experienced the whole spectrum, and find that I agree with FMF in that less is more. Both hygenically and aesthtically. Brazilian is nice, but I don't mind a little more.
Hope that didn't get too bad...

So, women, same question to you...what is your preference for hair in the male "bikini" area?

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:27 AM

Lol ok i was a little slow on the uptake, but now I get it.

Anyhoo, carry on, I'm sure I won't put this info to use for many years, but hey, learning is always good.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:28 AM

I've kept it trimed lately. I usually don't care much. But you know the whole relationship thing.

I was wondering how many girls gain weight duing a realtionship and the loose when they're single again. I don't know why but I gained 40 pounds with former SO. I had eating disorders before so it didn't really matter. Now that we've broken up however I'm dropping pounds like nobody's bussiness. All I do is drink and eat fast food it's kinda confusing.

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:31 AM

whitefall you have no idea how happy I am that you have no idea what we are talking about:) No offense I just don't want to be the corruptor of the minors:)

Hmm- I don't know as I have ever known a guy who did anything in that department...though may I say for those of you with back hair...WAX NOW! sorry pet peeve:)

Mainly I asked because a few of my friends said that the brazilian meant I was slutty and I did point out that only one person ever saw it so how would anyone know ( ok blew that little argument with this discussion, but)I just wondered how guys felt about it:)These are the friends who also have isse with my tats:0 Not so much friends as acquaintences in common

EDIT_ Copilot so jealous of you eating fast food and still losing weight ( took me eating nothing but veg and tofu and 2 years of working out) I did gain weight with my SO ( quite a lot)but I also lost it without losing him so all good
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:32 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
you ( brazilian) but I am curious as to the guys response:)

i was watching some movie the other day when one guy asks the other guy..."does the carpet match the drapes..?" and the other guy says - "bare floor"...

yeah, i like the bare floor

endeavor to persevere...

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:37 AM