Male and Female Imponderables--Now We Go In Content by Tristan

Rugbug- nice jump! though from the pic it looks like you're about to clip the bar:) Yeah I hear you about cost..the Rivergrove show 'bout kills me every year (I go as sis's coach)

Well considering money is the stated reason behind like 75% of divorces it's obviously a problem...

It took us a while to work it out, but my husband and I have gotten our who handles finances to where we are both fine ( this involved me getting a tutoring job so I could have my little spendy moments without tanking the budget)

I think money and how/when/where it is spent can be a real hot button issue in a relationship, but that may just be me:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:34 AM

The phrase that follows all of my conscious actions is 'what was I thinking?'

I was never a rider, but my band's name is atlantistiger. I'm lead guitar and vocals.

-------------------------------------------------

'It's Braedan. With an A.'

'Shiny moments aren't a destination any of us get to, and stay put forever. They're unknowable, brief flashes in time. That's what makes them shiny.' -GorramReevers

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:35 AM

For giggles: I'm worth so much more dead than alive. May have to advertize life insurance policy just to get married.
Kinda like walking around with a hundred dollar bill hanging out your fly.

ADD: 13 ia a musician? What do y'all play?

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:37 AM

RugBug, I live in the situation of which you speak. The wife, being younger, likes doing things that I no longer do; ie clubbing, hanging out with friends, etc. I do not have a problem with this...for the most part. There are times I get a little twitchy, because I feel like she should want to be spending time with me. Those twitches only last a short time, though. We do spend a lot of time together, and do go out. I am lucky in that I can always find something to do at the house, be it armoring or sewing, so most of the time she is alright with leaving me by myself.

Mal4Prez, the letter sounded good. I would have been happy and understanding if I received something like that.

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:43 AM

KENOBIUS

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:

Well considering money is the stated reason behind like 75% of divorces it's obviously a problem...

It took us a while to work it out, but my husband and I have gotten our who handles finances to where we are both fine ( this involved me getting a tutoring job so I could have my little spendy moments without tanking the budget)

I think money and how/when/where it is spent can be a real hot button issue in a relationship, but that may just be me:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

D'oh! Of course I ask the question that has already been answered. It was a selfish question, cause I all the time feel frustrated about my lack of money and the various things I cannot pay for, such as taking a lady out to dinner on a regular basis. Or traveling to meet new people to begin with.

http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:43 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Dayve: Drummers are delicious. Ain't nothing wrong with a little rhythm.

thank you for that..... have to admit, that whole time in my life was pretty much fun - a tad crazy, but lots of fun...

great toast, btw

endeavor to persevere...

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:46 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
the Oneders

hey, that's the Oneaders..!

endeavor to persevere...

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:46 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
Rugbug- nice jump! though from the pic it looks like you're about to clip the bar:)

He's actually overjumping the actual jump by about 1 1/2'. Those are 5' standards and the jump was only 2'3". The green rail is part of the arena fence in the background. The way it scanned, the entire jump was left out and then I had to crop other stuff so the pic wasn't HUGE.

As for money, I don't need or expect someone to pay for my life. But I also don't want to pay for their's, so he should be financially stable in the very least. From there I think it's a very individual thing. Hypothetically, when married I think I want three accounts. Joint, which we both contribute to, and then each of us has a 'mad money' account that a certain percentage goes each month. That way, you can have those spur of the moment purchases without justifying them. And if you decide you really need a new saddle, then you can get that without feeling guilty...or asking for it.

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:52 AM

We play every damn thing. Although our 'skill' limits us to mindless riffs and my weird solo. I play either my Gemini II Fender acoustic or a borrowed Washburne. I only use Washburne picks now, and nobody else knows why.

-------------------------------------------------

'It's Braedan. With an A.'

'Shiny moments aren't a destination any of us get to, and stay put forever. They're unknowable, brief flashes in time. That's what makes them shiny.' -GorramReevers

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:53 AM

um NV- I think you might want to hlod that info back so you don't end up dead on the highway while your new SO flies to Paris...course you could easily end up with the woman who just wants you for your body...so I don't know where I am going with this...ignore me

Rugbug- I figured that out after a second look:) It is a lovely jump your baby has great form:) My mom has a similar system so my dad doesn't have to develop an anurism when he finds out how much she spent on the last custom saddle:) or the new bit and reins...or the new blanket:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:58 AM

I also am a subscriber to the three accounts way of thinking. The wife and I have "our" account, from which household bills, groceries, things for living are paid from. She has "her" account, from which she pays her own bills and uses it for things like gas, smokes, crazy moments. I have "my" account, from which I pay the myriad of bills I have...student loan, car, etc. I just believe those are my debts, and she shouldn't have to have any part of them. Makes life easier, having the accounts set up that way...also gives me the chance to drop $100 or more on a nice side of leather when I need to!

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:59 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Dayve: Drummers are delicious. Ain't nothing wrong with a little rhythm.

thank you for that..... have to admit, that whole time in my life was pretty much fun - a tad crazy, but lots of fun...

or were you thinking of Drumsticks.... as in extra crispy..?

endeavor to persevere...

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:01 AM

I have got to get this 3 account system going, but I doubt I could get husband to go for it...oh well I still have my tutoring money so it's all good:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:02 AM

Great. Phones got shut off without notice. As the phone lady put it, " We haven't sent shut off notices in years." Well no f8756n' dog doo. I've never been late before so how would I know. Like I said, worth more dead than alive. tOOK ME FIVE MINUTES TO TYPE THIS OUT i'M SO PISSED. Big fingers punching little keys ferociously.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!!!

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:04 AM

NVG, is it time for us to declare war on a utility company? Let me know, I've wanted an excuse for years!

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:06 AM

NV- HUGS and more HUGS and still more HUGS...I wish I could express mail you some ice cream or some such

you have now entered the land of
"kill anyone today?"
"day ain't over yet"

Don't you just love that everyone whinges on about how children our the future and we have the most important job on the planet and they depend on us a and blah blah blah right up until it's time to pay us actual money and then they all suddenly get distracted by the football team:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:07 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by 13:
We play every damn thing.

13, i started out playing drums with a bassist & blues guitar player - basic blues in e..... man, we'd milk that thing till the bottles flew, but it got pretty boring for me after a while - although the guitarist did go on to be somewhat famous - he backed a lot of good bands back in the day....

endeavor to persevere...

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:09 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Dayve:

or were you thinking of Drumsticks.... as in extra crispy..?

Those are good, too.

NV: How can they shut your phone off without notice? I'd be sooooooo pissed.

They shut my phone off while my arm was broken and I could hardly write checks. I somehow missed the phone bill a few times.

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:09 AM

so Tristan how does one declare war on public utilities...is there a form for that or do we have to wait on hold or something...'cause I'd really like to include my cell phone carrier in that:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:17 AM

TRISTAN- Being as you are from the south you may understand rural Nevada utilities. Churchill County Communications has run a very profitable conglomerate here in the Lahontan Valley for decades. They stay under the Trade commissions radar by allowing big name providers a small amount of customers in exchange for use of CC Communications hardware. Greedy county F's will get theirs someday. Again, kharma is a cold hard bitch who returns favors equally.

MSG- I do well enough for myself, but I'd helped so many people out that I've basically lost two months wages this year. That, along with the state and BIA are unwilling to alot any money for fostercare for the kids since it is a family placement. Babies dad says he'll send money to help, but none yet. May need to take vacation in Mexico. Gotta brush up on the Mexican. Habla not so bueno.

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:19 AM

I'd help in the battle, but I'm already waging a war against Uwe Boll. So far, I've annoyed him slightly.

Progress!

-------------------------------------------------

'It's Braedan. With an A.'

'Shiny moments aren't a destination any of us get to, and stay put forever. They're unknowable, brief flashes in time. That's what makes them shiny.' -GorramReevers

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:22 AM

NV- that just doesn't seem right. Babies cost money no matter who is taking care of them:( Yeah I know what you mean...it's where most of my tutoring money goes during the school year. the kid who doens't have warm shoes, the sweatshirts and tees for the underdressed, the food for the lunchless, the notebooks and paper for the kids without...by the time we take care of all of them it's a bit slim for us:) But hang in there I swear we get some sort of reward for this ( I've been told )

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:39 AM

msg, I would guess it might work like this: "Hey, Browncoats, we're having a problem with a certain utility company in the Southwest...think y'all might help out?" Then Jayne gets sent in, handed a large stick, and the rest of us just stand back.

NVG, yes, I understand...sounds like some of the townships I know around here. Gorram Alliance money-grubbers!

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:43 AM

ok so can we go put a beat down on cingular wireless??? My cell is acting weird, but I have a few months on my contract and they won't let me trade and get a new phone except for the super expensive price you would pay if you just bought the phone without any plan

Ok rant over...so here's an imponderable is it possible to flirt unconsciously ( I mean can you be acting in a way that others feel is flirtatious without you thinking you are being flirtatious)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:51 AM

Sure don't help thet the county caters to the US Gov't due to the Naval Air Station either. Not that I have anything against squids and jarheads. Well, not all of them.

Damaged my calm. I have to renew a loan that was to be used to get the AR and the Glock out of the pawn shop.

Guess I better put away the anger. Won't help my cause. Large angry man in the phone company office is not a good thing. Don't need to affirm some of their presumptions about us "darkies". (trust me. I've heard a few of the ladies in the lobby saying stuff they should have been fired for. But again, county politics.)

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:00 AM

Sure. I am guilty of it all the time. I usually don't realize it 'til later. Just keeping in good practice I guess. Now I have to apply that to an actual use. May get the chance.
I'm out for a few hours. Gotta go tend to bidnezz.
Hear from y'all soon.

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:02 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

STEP AWAY FROM THE CINGULAR.

Seriously. They suck. I do this all day. I would rather run over my own head with my car than talk to frickin Cingular anything!

NV - Names please. I have a need to kick old predjudice lady arse!

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:05 AM

NV- give em hell ( and those ladies are probably just trying to cover for all those impure thoughts your presence provokes..NOT that that's an excuse!) Hope it all goes well:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:07 AM

MSG, yes indeed, you can. I read body language and eye contact when I am conversing with anyone, and especially focus on nuances in the fairer sex. The way a female moves her own body may not seem flirtatious to her, but a male may read something into it and respond accordingly. Same goes for words. A statement said to mean one thing could be completely misconstrued by the listener. I guess the easiest way to say it is that flirting is in the eye of the beholder.

Oh, if you can figure out where their main office is, I'll send out a call to arms.

NVG, I hate people like the ones you are talking about. I lived in Phoenix for awhile, and knew several Navajos, and they had the same subtle and not-so subtle problems of which you speak. Irks me to no end that the whites (of which "tribe" I belong) think ourselves so high and mighty. Arrgghh.

______________________________________

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:13 AM

Living in Utah I can see what you speak of. Had a fabulous Navajo student last year however who was one of the most popular kids in the whole school, a student body officer, and is now at the high school as a student body officer...did a fabulous concert on the flute for assmeblies and such too:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:18 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
I guess the easiest way to say it is that flirting is in the eye of the beholder.

I thnk flirting is more about intent. It's playful conversation without intent. It's flirtation if there is desire involved. And this is mostly from the flirter's perspective. Whether the flirtee feels desire for the flirter is neither here nor there.

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:24 AM

hmm that is an interesting point Rugubug:) Flirting intent not outcome? Oh and out of curiosity have you ever shown in Utah? I'd love to see you. I always love watching my sister compete. She jumps like magic ( and I will never forget the time she was thrown by her very stubborn horse and she landed on her feet reigns in hand and just vaulted right back into the saddle and finished)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:27 AM

RugBug...huh! Never really thought about it that way. Makes sense, though...

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:36 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

MSG

Almost all of my contact with males has some amount of flirting (except with the exMrFMF and I don't really count him as male). Its just me. Course, that makes me not so popular with the other ladies.

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:37 AM

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE

Damn, I couldn't read all your post cuz I have to go to bed, but I have a great idea for This Is-land...
what if... we got the island, and got the BDHs to come live with us too?
Thanks for your note on my log MSG, really cheered me up since I've had a hwai day, in answer to you question: I want to be a doctor when I'm older.
I have to go now, I'll be back tomorrow, please refrain yourself from too much posting, or it'll take me all night to catch up!
CP: hope you are feeling better now

flirting? I flirt with everybody, and most of the time, it doesn't mean a thimg and I don't even know I'm doing it.
edit: fmf: right there with you, I have way more male friends than female, possibly because of my little flirting thing.

Currently searching for the planet of the hot, rich yet appropriately hygenic man.
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:45 AM

BLACKSHAMROCK5

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you Smart, not that I'm complaining. I do tend to have way more male friends than female which the SO does'nt mind since we hang around all of the same people. I do tend to flirt a bit not too much to get me into trouble

Shamrock

Remember that a kick in the ass is a step forward.

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:52 AM

Well, dealing too many times with friends who are upset b/c their SO said they were flirting and they had no idea they were, I kind of came up with that idea. A lot of times flirting is just fun. And a good bout of flirting is very stimulating...mentally stimulating, that is. Being clever, witty and good with innuendo can be energizing. It puts people at ease. I've flirted with tons of people I have NEVER had any intent of spending an ounce more time with, much less touching. But there is a line where things become inappropriate and even without intent, one should stay away from that line.

MSG: I've never shown in Utah...and don't really have plans to. I don't think there is much to draw me that way. The furthest I really plan on taking my horse is Indio...and even then, it won't be until I either win the lottery or inherit some bucks (or become a trophy wife...but that's not likely to happen.

)

Your sister sounds like a good rider. :) I'll admit to being very happy when I land on my feet, although it is the quickest way to break an ankle. I had an interesting moment that involved a "feet" landing. We placed 3rd a large difficult class flat class. They hand me my ribbon and horse takes two steps and hears the wind rustling the ribbon. I can feel him start to get tense, so I try to drop the ribbon and it catches on the reins.

He proceeds to LEAP sideways about 10 feet, right out from under me. I landed on my feet, caught the pony, fetched the ribbon, did a "Superstar" pose to the crowd and exited the arena.

Needless to say, pony spent much time with ribbons being rubbed all over him and attached to his bridle after that. 'Course later in the day I came off again, but was on the ground before I even knew what was happening. Damn spooky young horse. He's MUCH better now, but there were some hard times to get him where he is.

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:54 AM

SAFEAT2ND

Man, trying to keep up with this thread makes me feel like I've entered a Chevette in the Indy 500..

On the flirting issue, apparently I'm a big flirt, but like Smart, I have no idea I'm doing it. I'm just trying to be friendly and get people to smile.

My wife thinks it's charming. She says I have an infectious smile, I put people at ease. Dammit!! I'd like 'em to cringe in fear on occasion!

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 10:05 AM

RugBug, yes, flirting is lots of fun! I don't do it so much anymore, as I am not in contact with that many people of my age group anymore. Around college, flirting was almost a Minor degree for the people I hung around with. It is stimulating (yes, I mean mentally...perverts!

), and does not have to lead anywhere. My wife is a flirt, and for the most part, it does not bother me. I know that she can flirt all day and night, but I am the one she chooses to come home to. It's a good feeling, and it's fun to watch her sometimes. Freaks a lot of people out that her husband is in the room while she's flirting (at parties and such..."safe" environment), but they are set at their ease when I am doing the same. It's also a lot of fun to flirt with your SO!

Safeat2nd, I feel the same way sometimes. There will be an hour or so when nothing gets posted, and then the next hour sees 50 to 100 posts...we are a talkative bunch! We are glad you are with us!

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 10:25 AM

KENOBIUS

Yeah, try playing Zelda and then look back here. ;)

Apparently, I'm a horrible flirt. I was suppose to be flirting in Fiddler (Fyedka and Chava for those who know) and after the scene I was told I looked like I was about to savagely attack her. I blame my eyes. It's also probably why I almost always get type-casted as a bad guy, not that that ain't fun, cause it is, it's just puts me in an awkward spot - no one will see me as a good person.

That, among others, is why I've lost any game I had left.

http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 10:44 AM

Hey Kenobius just change the game plan...try being the bad boy flirt instead :) Lots of girls love bad boys:)

Rugbug- yeah my sis has a percheron because we needed someone to go with the nervous arabian who firmly believed every rustle of a leaf was a large snake ready to kill him:)

Tristan- giggles that totally reminded me of the time I help a friend of my SO choose tasteful porn for a website he was expected to design...about 20 min into the process he just stops dead turns to my husband and says " I can't believe I am sitting here choosing porn with your wife" my husband thought it was so funny:)ok that may have been TMI

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 12:09 PM

FMF- They were in their early thirties. Just close minded locals who don't know better.

MSG- I wish that were the issue. Or maybe it was.

RUGBUG- The action pics are awesome.

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 12:12 PM

COZEN

Gee, did I finally get in on these threads before the 3,000th post?

Quickly, where I'm at: I've scanned a few of these threads, and have likely missed most of the content. Ergo, apologies for wasting bandwith and the resultant eye strain if the following has been addressed, debated, milked dry of all nuance, and discarded.

I pose a "ponderable", if I may call it that. Which is, how many of us have fantasised about another during sex? Or to inspire sex? Doesn't really matter whom else, rather, has that, at times, been a motivating factor?

That may be a difficult question to answer honestly, given that some or many of you have SO's who read these posts.

Fair being fair, my answer is yes. Even with the one whom I loved the most (my first wife), though, truly, on occassion. As for one whom I finally figured out I didn't love, very often, to the point of most times. One risks appearing to be shallow if one admits to this. To which I counter: we're humans with developed brains that have the ability to fantasise. To wit, for instance, buying islands, that sort of thing. I humbly submit there's nothing wrong with the occassional fantasy, and I won't feel guilty about any I've ever had, or may have coming to me.

And, though I do recall typing that it doesn't matter whom else one dreams of when getting it on, I'll mention that for me, it's never been the porno-mag pinup, or the Hollywood starlet or the local bikini contestant. Rather, it's been the lady wearing the floral print skirt in the line at the local Orange Julius, or the one of whom I caught a brief glimpse bending over for the dropped cellphone. The typical "hottie on the bus" scenario.

And: an island would be nice, but, a little clique-ish, n'est c'est pas?

***
Fowl to froggy, the froggy to mammal,
the mammal to monkey, the monkey to man.

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 12:23 PM

it's a very interesting ponderable...I am sorry to say I am so not a visual person that I don't even see images in my dreams ( it's like a narrative I know what's happening, but I don't see anything but blackness) so I've never fantasized during sex ( yes I know I'm a freak...move past it:) Well I am off to the gym for my daily torture. I will check back in in about an hour or so:) Chins UP!!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 12:41 PM