GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Male and Female Imponderables--We are such stuff... As dreams are made on

POSTED BY: TRISTAN
UPDATED: Wednesday, July 19, 2006 07:39
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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:22 AM

DAYVE


Quote:

Originally posted by mal4prez:
I couldn't date someone who avidly believes in the Bible. Or likes George Bush



- alls i'm sayin



"endeavor to persevere..." Chief Dan George as Lone Waite, Indian chief

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:22 AM

SPACEANJL


Finding things out about someone can be either a slow but exciting process.

Or a really scary unfurling of a saga.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:23 AM

MAL4PREZ


Quote:

Originally posted by msg:
See that's what I was thinking Mal4Prez you don't want to freak them out when you first start dating but I have a friend who is physically unable to have kids and she keeps trying to figure out when to bring this up. In the first few dates it's presumptious and makes guys thing she's out for instant husband. If she waits and they get really involved and then she tells him and he can't live with that she gets hurt.. So when do you bring up issues and info??

I think the meds thing can wait until you have dated a long time and are pretty serious:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



Wow. The no kids issue is much tougher than mine. I really do believe that I'm on the mend and able to be half of a good relationship, so bringing up my stuff isn't really vital.

I guess there's nothing to be done but find someone I like, get to know him, and then let fly and see what happens. Gotta take the risk, right?

FMF - good call! It's hard to be tolerant in this day and age. Have you gotten any good dates?


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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:27 AM

PENGUIN




Are whips OK??


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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:29 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


The not being able to have kids issue... I would say after about a month the subject of kids should be brought up if that's the case. It could have a lead-up like "So, would you ever want kids?" or (if it's the case) "This makes me very sad, but I can't have children and just wanted to let you know before we got too involved."

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:30 AM

MSG


Depends on how you use the Penguin...and by the way thanks for the cute little penguin bouncing on my bed:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:33 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


Quote:

Originally posted by Penguin:


Are whips OK??

]

Only if followed by a kiss



one of the Forsaken TM

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:36 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Quote:

Originally posted by Penguin:


Are whips OK??


lol, depends how they're used! Not a fan of pain and injury, here. But a little teasing, that can be good.
Not that I've yet met someone who was actually good at that...

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:38 AM

COPILOT


Ummm yay! Curtis (new boy) and his friends put on a show last night mocking me! Yep they mocked me to my face for a fucking hour before I could find a ride home. Yippie I hate me! I'm such a loser it hurts so much to wake up alive.

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:38 AM

COPILOT


Ummm yay! Curtis (new boy) and his friends put on a show last night mocking me! Yep they mocked me to my face for a fucking hour before I could find a ride home. Yippie I hate me! I'm such a loser it hurts so much to wake up alive.

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:42 AM

MSG


well now you know he's a jackass with a death wish ( since we will of course have to kill him now)

Copilot you did something you wish you hadn't...join the club hon. Oh do let me tell you the lovely story of the time I got fed up in rehersal and ripped open my shirt and bra and flashed practically the whole world. For months after when I'd go work on stuff in the theater people would talk about " you know she's the one who wants everyone to see her naked" and " you know she's got tp be the biggest slut if she'd show everyone her boobs" etc...just know that the evil ex boyfriend Curtis is a jerk and a jackass for not trying to find out why you were upset etc and making fun of you instead of being concerned...this is of course why he has to die after being castrated with a rusty cheese grater ( sorry guys you can wince now)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:43 AM

SPACEANJL


Normally I don't advocate violence, but occasionally a belt round the chops can knock sense into morons.

Do not let these people take the colour out of your world, babe. You are not the loser here. Do these people have nothing better to do in their lives than to spend a whole hour boring somebody with some lameass excuse for humour?

I would recommend that you take some time for you. Whatever you do to relax (NOT chemical!) and look after yourself. Whether it's soaking a in a bath with a glass of something, a long walk somewhere quiet, or even just sitting peacefully. Failing that, I have some hate displacement exercises/voodoo that may help.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:44 AM

RUGBUG


Well, that proves it. I could never date any of you. I wouldn't call myself a conservative Christian, but a Christian...yes. I won't hold it against you if you don't hold it against me.

And let me tell you, that makes dating hard, because while I'm open to dating people who don't hold my religious views, I don't think it could ever go anywhere serious, so what's really the point? Talk about seriously limiting the dating pool in an already small town.

Edited to add: CoPilot, you are not a loser because some lameass boy teased you. He was just letting you know that he's not worth the effort. Cut him loose and find someone who'll respect the wonderful, loving person you are.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:45 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


*flips open her switchblade*
Where is that no good reptile?

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:49 AM

MSG


Pr- I'll hold him, you get the tranquilizers here's the plan. We knock him out, dress him in fetish type little school girl costume and mess it up a bit so it looks as though he's been very "active" then take him and put him inside a classroom before school starts and then just wait for the students to arrive. Making sure of course to put on an undershirt beneath the costume that says I love little girls...that should just about do it

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:53 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


*loads tranquilizer gun*
I think a tattoo rather than a shirt.
*cocks gun*
Let's do this.

And might I add


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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:56 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


Quote:

Originally posted by SpaceAnJL:
Failing that, I have some hate displacement exercises/voodoo that may help.



One must remember tho that there is always a price to be paid by the speller as well as the spellee.



one of the Forsaken TM

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:58 AM

PENGUIN





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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:05 AM

LYSANDER


CP-Sounds like Curtis is in need of an attitude adjustment. I'm sure between Tristan and myself, we could use a few of our shiny swords and make a pin cushion out of him.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:10 AM

MSG


Lysander good to have you back...and hold off on the swords until we've publically humiliated him
Then you can run him through

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:18 AM

SPACEANJL


FMF - I was advocating something nearer therapy than spellcasting. Threefold returning and all that...don't do tarnishing the karma.


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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:19 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Nah, he wouldn't be worth that kind of tarnish.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:32 AM

TRISTAN


Sorry, all...got caught up in a training session. Boy, do I feel smarter-er now!

msg, qualities that would make me not choose someone...Serious drug use, overt vanity, faithlessness, fanatic religious beliefs of any kind...a few more along those lines.

Mal4Prez...the BD deal with boobies: a male perspective...we do not have them, and are therefore distracted by them. That is the common explanation used. I used to agree to that maxim, but no longer. I don't have a deal with them. I notice them as part of the whole, and move on. Nipples are in the same boat...I like to see them, but have respect enough to not show mine off.

msg, the time is right if you think the dating may move on to something more permanent. I was getting to the point where I was thinking about carrying around a fact sheet about myself to present to interested females...I was getting disgusted with dating. But then, I met my wife, and all is shiny now! I do think the fact list would help people out a lot, though...

Lunch time...more later!

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:50 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Quote:

Originally posted by Tristan:
I do think the fact list would help people out a lot, though...


Yeppers, that's why I wrote my instruction manual! Hopefully everything you need to know that might be a problem, right there on paper! Easy reference for early and well-developed relationships!

I need to go to bed....

Stay shiny, Copilot, darling. You deserve better.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:51 AM

TRISTAN


Lysander! Greetings once again!
And yes, I second your notion...Copilot needs a good pincushion!





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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:56 AM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


Course, the problem you'll have now, PR, is summed up in four letters:

RTFM

Read
the
Freckin
Manual



~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:58 AM

PENGUIN


Quote:

Originally posted by Tristan:
Mal4Prez...the BD deal with boobies: a male perspective...we do not have them, and are therefore distracted by them. That is the common explanation used. I used to agree to that maxim, but no longer. I don't have a deal with them. I notice them as part of the whole, and move on. Nipples are in the same boat...I like to see them, but have respect enough to not show mine off.





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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:58 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


Space

I once tried to get a friend to understand the 3-fold return thing. She just didn't get it. Boy she wishes now she had listened!

Thats why I have tried to be really nice about the whole exMrFMF. i am just letting HIS kharma lead the day.



one of the Forsaken TM

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:59 AM

TRISTAN


PR, sorry, I meant a single, handy piece of paper. If you come with a manual, that would just be a big turn-off. The major issues are important up front...the minor details are more interesting if discovered over time.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:01 AM

PENGUIN


Quote:

Originally posted by Tristan:
Lysander! Greetings once again!
And yes, I second your notion...Copilot needs a good pincushion!









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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:07 AM

TRISTAN


Ah, Penguin, thank you! Did not realize he was so messy before I posted him!



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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:13 AM

LYSANDER


PR- The whole instruction manual might be too much. I don't think i've ever read an instruction manual for anything that I own. Everything works the way it's suppose to so, maybe just a few instructions up front and save the rest for later.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:22 AM

MAL4PREZ


Quote:

Originally posted by Penguin:
Quote:

Originally posted by Tristan:
Mal4Prez...the BD deal with boobies: a male perspective...we do not have them, and are therefore distracted by them. That is the common explanation used. I used to agree to that maxim, but no longer. I don't have a deal with them. I notice them as part of the whole, and move on. Nipples are in the same boat...I like to see them, but have respect enough to not show mine off.









Penguin - I don't get your little blue guy...

Just got back from lunch, had to strip down to the tank top because it's so frikkin hot. Oh well. Guess I'll just be the boobyless booby chick.

Copilot - seriously? Was it mean making fun or did he not realize how it hurt you? If he knew and did it anyway, I'm right jumping on the punishment wagon, and bringing a hockey stick.



-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:25 AM

MSG


yeah I don't think I could get anyone to read the manual for me it'd take forever! But hey might be nice in case of long term relationship so they SO could have something to refer to in crisis moments:)

Oh here's an imponderable for fun...if you were going to have someone take you on a romantic vacation what would it be like ( to be ideal)?

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:34 AM

TRISTAN


msg, the answer to that vacation question is simple: take me to Dublin, with at least one excursion to Tara. That's it; I am easy to please. Been there once, and that's the only place I really want to go back to.
How about you?

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:34 AM

LYSANDER


As long as my wife was the one taking me, it really wouldn't make a big difference where we went. I would love to go to Ireland or Scotland with her and just spend some quality time in the beautiful green tracks of land that I have yet to see in person.
I'm off to a lunch meeting. See you all later.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:37 AM

DAYVE


I like instruction manuals - even written a couple myself... (not about me though)... the problem i have when reading them and putting something together is, there always seems to be spare parts.... yeah, it's the spare parts of relationships that are the intangibles..

MSG - i would like a romantic vacation in the mountains - cause i haven't done that yet - a cabin surrounded by snow with lots of firewood - enough provisions to last days (a few bottles of Pinot at least) and commence with the love.... (i just reminded myself of Chef....)

"endeavor to persevere..." Chief Dan George as Lone Waite, Indian chief

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:37 AM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


For me, it'd be Italy with my hubby. I've always wanted to go to Venice, but pretty much anywhere in Italy would make me happy.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:39 AM

MSG


Ireland is so wonderful..ok moment of zen:)

Anyway,but as for a romantic vacation I would like to go some place tropical and secluded. nice sandy beaches, frosty little drinks with umbrellas, and very little clothing...mmmmmmmmmmm

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:40 AM

ODDSBODSKINS


on a yacht, anywhere, i'm trying to get back into that so it's kinda uppermost in my mind right now (was always a fantasy when i was wee, to live in my own yacht instead of a house, now working hard as hell to make it a reality)

not sure how romantic it'd be, guess that'd be location dependant (and i'd not be too picky, could be the caribbean, could be a rainy october off shetland, i'd still be loving it


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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:42 AM

PENGUIN


MAL4PREZ - I was just laughing at what Tristan said...or more how he said it!


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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:46 AM

TRISTAN


Mal4Prez...how do you mean?

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:46 AM

STILLFLYIN


Romantic Vacation:
First stop: The Cliffs of Dover
Second stop: Paris, for dinner on the Seine
Third Stop: Machu Pichu in Peru (beautiful scenery)
Fourth Stop: Washington, DC to tour the monuments at night
Fifth stop: New Zealand

Yeah, I know I'm weird

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:50 AM

MSG


That sounds cool Stillflyin :) I'd love to go to machu pichu personally:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:57 AM

RUGBUG


Quote:

Originally posted by msg:

if you were going to have someone take you on a romantic vacation what would it be like ( to be ideal)?




Let's see, I could go on many different romantic vacations but top would be some type of exclusive, private-like beachy resort.

To be honest with you, anything extravagant would get me feeling all romantic like. I'm not materialistic (at least no worse than the next guy) but I will admit to feeling loved when someone spends money on me. I never expect it, never ask for it, but if he does, it's all good.

Maybe this brings up another question. There was a book out a while back that discussed the five "languages" of love: gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and touch. Where do y'all fall and do you think this theory is solid or whack?

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 8:00 AM

MSG


of course you'd want somewhere you could take your horse and ride on the beach ( well ok not on the beach 'cause that's so bad for horses, but maybe a place that had romantic bridle trails)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 8:04 AM

MAL4PREZ


Quote:

Originally posted by Penguin:
MAL4PREZ - I was just laughing at what Tristan said...or more how he said it!



Okay - so it was a laughing guy, that makes sense! He was blue and I thought it was a not breathing guy and I didn't get the joke...

My romantic vacation? Definitely there's a sailboat in the Greek or Turkish mediteranean involved.

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 8:07 AM

RUGBUG


Quote:

Originally posted by msg:
of course you'd want somewhere you could take your horse and ride on the beach ( well ok not on the beach 'cause that's so bad for horses, but maybe a place that had romantic bridle trails)




Actually, not a big fan of trail riding but beach riding is great. If my horse wasn't such a loon he'd be at the beach often: We've got one about 10 minutes from the barn that is open to horses. Sadly, it is a scary, scary place for an already scaredy-cat horse. Seagulls, waves, loose dogs, bikes, joggers, kites, windsurfers, not to mention everyone that wants to "pet the horsey". I ocassionally get to go with quieter horses at the barn and it's a really neat experience. I LOVE cantering along in the water and the quietness of a horse's hooves on the sand. And to be able to canter for what feels like forever in a straight line with no arena fences to hamper your freedom. Heaven, I tell ya.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 8:08 AM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


Quote:

Maybe this brings up another question. There was a book out a while back that discussed the five "languages" of love: gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and touch. Where do y'all fall and do you think this theory is solid or whack?


I hadn't heard that before, but it sounds right to me. I think which of those are important depends on the couple. For me, gift giving isn't so important anymore (though hubby and I did a lot of that early in our dating), but the other four are huge for us. And we do still give gifts, just on birthdays and holidays now rather than just out of the blue.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 8:09 AM

RUGBUG


Quote:

Originally posted by mal4prez:


My romantic vacation? Definitely there's a sailboat in the Greek or Turkish mediteranean involved.




Oh, this reminds me. I want to add San Taorini to my list. And maybe a week on a yacht.

CK: the theory is that we all "feel" loved in different ways. If your SO feels loved through words of affirmation, then he will probably try to show his love for you through words. But, if you feel loved through gifts, you may not understand how much he loves you because all your getting is words.

Of course this is way oversimplified and most of us are some combination of the five. But it is an interesting concept.

For me, it's not necessarily the actual gift, but the fact that someone spent money on me. I am also the type to buy my friends things for no other reason than it reminded me of them. I'm not big on words, but show my love with gifts (hopefully thoughtful ones).

For example: when I broke my arm, my already busy trainer had to take over care of my horse. In appreciation I've given her a few gifts. I say thank-you often, and still pay for all her services, but I also back that up with a the new sparkly spurs she wanted or the liverpool jump she has her eye on. And people often come to me for gift suggestions because I have a reputation as a good gift giver. I basically store little bits of information away for future reference and when the time is appropriate, there it is.

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