Male and Female Imponderables--We are such stuff... As dreams are made on by Tristan

Yeah, that makes sense. My mom is definitely more of the acts of service type, whereas my dad is more words and touch (from what I can see of their relationship, at least). They've definitely had tension over the years trying to communicate with each other through two totally different means.

Words of affirmation, quality time, and touch are all really important to me, though I really couldn't say which is the most important. I think my husband is probably primarily quality time and touch, so we match up there. We both like doing acts of service for each other, but those seem to be more of a treat than the life blood of our relationship.

Hm, it seems like knowing this sort of thing about yourself before you go into a relationship could be helpful in the long run.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 8:48 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and touch. Where do y'all fall and do you think this theory is solid or whack?

I've never heard this, but I like it. I'd say my needs go in this order:

words of affirmation
touch
acts of service
quality time
gift giving

With one addition: SO wants and accepts the above from me, and lets me know it's appreciated

My guide along the how-to-be-social path tells it this way: it's an exchange of mattering. You matter to me, and I let you know. You do the same.

It sounds so easy. *sigh*

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 8:49 AM

hmmm...I think buying the right gift says a lot about how in tune with you the person is. For example once for our anniversary my husband bought a jewlery box that I had admired about 8 months previous it showed that he was listening to me and alos that he knew enough about me to get something I would use daily and appreciate. Not that I believe people should psychicly know what gift to get. I think asking that person what they want and then buying that is FANTASTIC ( this may be a childhood pet peeve as my mother often asks what I want then buys what she thinks I SHOULD want instead)

For me I'd say words are great, but unselfish actions mean a whole lot more. Like going somewher you don't want to make your SO happy, or letting them have the last cookie, or spontaneous backrubs:)

EDIT- ok I don't know who that person who made all thos typos is, but it is most certainly not Ms.G teacher extraordinaire
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:17 AM

ZEEK

Ugh I'm a terrible gift giver. I can remember things a person said months ago, but I still can't think of what another person would want for a gift.

As for a trip, the happiest place on earth obviously...Disneyland! Fine so I'm still a kid at heart.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:18 AM

hey Zeek..growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional:)

Is anyone else a bit worried about NV? He's not been on all day and he was upset yesterday. I think I will email him and check in:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:22 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
this may be a childhood pet peeve as my mother often asks what I want then buys what she thinks I SHOULD want instead

I think we have the same mom! I can't count the moments of confusion after opening gifts from my mom. It's like she's on another planet. A planet full of bad gifts that make no sense.

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:25 AM

Urgh... so much to post.

Copilot: Damnit, don't let him get to you. On the bright side of this, you don't have to worry about him no more, he was nice enough to relocate himself from the exSO to the Jerk category for you, making that whole forgeting him thing much easier. But still, as Tim Minear sayeth, tell us who we should kill!

Depression and meds... bah, I guess I should try that some time. Death wish in 3rd grade? ouch, but me i'm something similar i'm afraid. I do recall talking to some counselor lady in 5th grade on the subject of the suffocatory effects of pillows..... somehow i've just always assumed meds would steal my soul in that whole "i'd be happy but I wouldnt be me anymore" way....

dream vacation... bah, at this point, going anywhere with anyone who actually actively wanted my company would be really damn cool. and not having homework.

gifts? i'm horrible at gifts. besides, i always feel they are somewhat superficial, that you're trying to write off human interaction with money.

/shrug.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:37 AM

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE

Right. You guys post faaaarr to fast! I read all the ones from the last thread, but then realised If I was gonna get to post before beddy byes then I was going to have to skip a few.
so I'll start witht the ones from the last thread.
Sleeping: I can't sleep just anywhere, but there are a couple that are bbound to send me off. Boats. love'em, and everytime I'm on one, i just fall asleep, maybe its the rocking? Chemistry sends me to sleep. After a long weekend school trip, i was so tired, yet Chemistry was the only lesson I fell asleep in, and I fell asleep in my Chemistry GCSE exam a few weeks ago, luckily I had finished!

Seryn: Yeah! that top gear was hi-larious, every week I split my sides at something. When the caravan blew up, I nearly wet myself laughing! When I saw the caravan, I knew something was gonna happen to it! Did you see the one when they turned that car into Jeremy's sitting room?

Which BDH? Do I even have to think? NO! Washwashwashwash!

Gift giving: I love gift shopping, and I love giving gifts more than I enjoy getting them.

Went on an art trip to the tate gallery today: that was fun. Anywho, must go now, so Byeeeee!

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:39 AM

TRISTAN

msg, I thnk you may have read my mind...I PM'ed him a little while ago...haven't heard anything back yet.

I am probably an "acts of service" first, "touch" second, then gift-giving, quality time, and words of affirmation all in equal doses.

______________________________________

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:42 AM

RUGBUG

Quote:
Originally posted by Whitefall:

gifts? i'm horrible at gifts. besides, i always feel they are somewhat superficial, that you're trying to write off human interaction with money.

But, Whitefall, that's the point of the whole "languages" theory. If you were dating a person who feels and shows love through gift giving, you wouldn't recognize it and it would cause much confusion and heartache in the relationship. You might think gift giving is shallow, but the other person might think talk is cheap. You have to recognize not only how YOU give and receive love, but how the other person does as well....

(and yes, MSG, I'm a little worried too. Hoping it's just a busy day....)

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:44 AM

maybe he's taking the day off...I hope

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:48 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Whitefall:
somehow i've just always assumed meds would steal my soul in that whole "i'd be happy but I wouldnt be me anymore" way....

OK, I am now the med advocate...

I avoided them for years for that very reason, till I really had no choice. And now I'm on something pretty mild - I'm not manic, or overly happy. I have all the normal non-extreme moods, but don't get overwhelmed by anxiety. I'm actually just me, more than I ever have been. Weird. But very much better!

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:49 AM

yeah sometimes life just posts a sign

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 10:31 AM

DAYVE

for the biker crowd

"endeavor to persevere..." Chief Dan George as Lone Waite, Indian chief

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:18 AM

MIRCEA

MSG-Bit concerned about NV myself. I was hoping he was feeling a bit better today

I do the job, and then I get paid.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:18 AM

Why have you all gone quiet???

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:18 AM

MIRCEA

MSG-Bit concerned about NV myself. I was hoping he was feeling a bit better today

I do the job, and then I get paid.

I hate my work computer

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:32 AM

BLACKSHAMROCK5

well ever since I was ten (which is 10 years from today sorry had to throw that in there) I have always wanted to go to Ireland. I've always heard how beautiful it was, how the people are and that would definitely be my go to place for whatever reason

Shamrock

Havin' an awesome birthday.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:35 AM

Hey Happy Birthday BlackShamrock:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:37 AM

DANCINGNEKO

Eeep....These posts can't be rabbits...they seem to clone themselves!

Answers to various old questions at random:

Emma: Congrats (days later) for both the trip and becoming an aunty. Dunno where you are, but if you want somewhere in the US that's "exotic," may I suggest the state of Hawai`i? (Shameless plug) Lots of unique plants and animals, and in winter, if she vists the islands of Maui or Hawai`i ("the big island" to locals) she can tell everyone how she got to experience snow in the tropics.

Space: *boggle* Mal? "Mature years?!" ROTFLOL, (howling in laughter) *giggle* *gasp* As I tell my (slightly younger) friends who start complaining about their age (tongue firmly in cheek) "Yep, you're a regular grandparent."

MsG: I've taught science to students from grades 7 to 12. I've found that I prefer high school students (but it was mainly the middle school administration, not the students so much). Middle school and the high-maintanence type students? I'm not that good (*gets on hands and knees and starts kowtowing to MsG* I am not worthy, I am not worthy)....I just got the phone call saying I've been hired *bounce* so I'm going to be working as a Title I coordinator.

SBDB: Owch. Sounds like a few teachers I've had in high school. You might want to treat him as a newbie teacher that you need to "train" so that he knows how to treat students beyond the lowest common denominator.

SexEd...

I love sex-ed. I can do three things at the same time. 1) I can talk about "gross stuff" using anatomical names, 2) the gross-out factor for advanced cases of STDs, which leads to 3) turning students off to having sex at an early age.

NVG:

I've seen the pictures you posted here, then imagined you in the outfit you mentioned. *fans self* *ahem* Yum.
I wish I could offer you comfort other than saying I'm sorry to hear about your sister's choices.

Gender relations: I'm with PR on this one. I can get along with guys and girls. My interests run a wide and eccentric enough mix that I can talk to both about a lot of things.

DeepGirl: Oooh...Toys! All my faves too...I don't have any of the shiny blades, nor do I fight, but still...

CoPilot: I'm sorry you had to deal with such a pitiful, immature, 'only-good-for-his-looks' jerk. ...and MsG and PR -- I hope it's in Lysander's and Tristan's classroom where this fool can become a pincushion (I'd reccomend using shinais though, the brusing is far easier to explain.

)

Things that will make me drop a guy so fast it'll make his head spin dept:
1) Fundamentalistic extremeists
2) Guys who message me within a couple of months on any of those dating sites with either:
a) "so how's your sex life?" or
b) (paraphrasing Jayne here:) "I've got big man-parts, c'n you handle it?"
3) Smokers/illegal drug users
4) "Slick" people (think sterotypical used-car salesmen)
5) Faithless/Cheaters

Romantic vacation: I'd choose world tour, but if that's not okay...Japan in the spring or autumn, Thailand, New Zeland, Italy/Rome, Greece, Egypt, Spain, England, Ireland, Belgium, Holland, Canada, Brazil, and touring the rest of the continental US.

Happy Birthday BlackShamrock. Two good things happening today. *bounce!*

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:43 AM

oooh we have a title 1 coordinator and they bring happy gifts to us all!! Yeah I teach the little dragons, but strangely I love them too..never taught high school...I think they might be too grown up for me

EDIT- Ok forcing myself to get away fromt he computer and go to the gym now. Back in an hour. Try not to go post crazy :)
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:54 AM

ZEEK

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
Why have you all gone quiet???

Pondering the imponderables is taxing on my mental resources. Do you expect me to type and think at the same time?

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:54 AM

BLACKSHAMROCK5

Thanks MsG and Dancing.

I tend to have way more guys friends than girl friends, not completely sure why. They see me as nothing more than a little sister, and its really helpful when having trouble with the opposite sex. Although they have their "boys being boys" moments, they give me a unique insight.

Shamrock

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:55 AM

SERYN

Ah, things that would stop me dating a guy - this is where i get to reveal what an intolerent bitch i am, isn't it?

ok, the usuals - an addiction that they are not willing to try and overcome, Fundamentalist beliefs, the liking of bush boy, etc.

Add to that
Poets - i have a phobia of poetry ('metrophobia' aparently)
Chavs, football supporters, Oasis fans and fetishists - i just do not 'get' them, can't get my head around what on earth they actually see in them, and are usually mentally filed away under 'lacking'.
Guys who don't read and wont try - again, don't understand why.
Guys who think a mobile phone is a romantic present.
Guys with no ambition.
Gun nuts and survivalists - eek!
'too cool for school' types. Oh bugger off.
Kerrangutangs - been there, done that, should have been locked away for my own protection.
Live to Drinkers - getting tanked up and throwing up in a gutter is not big, cool, or even remotely clever. and the smell is rank.
People who treat me like an idiot, even 'kindly', or call me nice.

Ah, depression, my family, most of my friends and i think even my cat have suffered bouts of mental illness, i've nursed so many people through panic attacks and whatnot.
I do suffer from it, but generally i live in denial, and employ the clutching at straws technique - where you find something, anything, thats shiny in your life and concentrate on it - grab and hold on to it with the tenacity of a small terrier until the bad stuff doesn't seem so bad anymore. It works for me. I got turned down for a job recently (read the first post in the new nook thread) and what got me through was finding a new better job to apply for and focusing on that. of course if they turn me down i'll have to top myself.

Ah, a member of the crew. To 'be' with. Are we talking of carnal matters or the squishy skips through daisy fields?

either way Mal. Though Jayne is so lush. No Mal.Jayne? Mal, Jayne, MAL! no... Jayne, yes Jayne. arrrggg! Mal, Jay... Mal... um, could I have both?

Boobies - they are ok. don't know what the big deal with nipples is. it might be cold! you just do what you want and nipple hater bedamned.

you know that according to Freud, most men never leave their breast fixation phase(or their anal fixation phase) which mean for the rest of their lives they are fascinated/disturbed/obsessed with boobies? (and breaking wind and bowel movements)

i mean i'd give them the benefit of the doubt and say its all rubbish, but some guys really ain't helping themselves.

An ideal romantic break (i'm willing to wedge a bit of romance in there, seeing as its something i've wanted to do most of my life) is Venice, at carnival time. not only getting to go look at all the beautiful houses and bask in the ambiance before it all sinks, but to join in the parties and the dances and talk to random strangers in the cafe's and listen to the music and watch the plays and dances, all while wearing a beutifull dress and mask. Its something i hope to do single or not, but having some dashing guy with you would just complete it.

Maybe i should hire one.

I realised the other day tha i am actually a very finickity eater. Fruit and veg for instance - I don't like fruit salad - you could take all the fruit and put it on my plate separately, but iate it all mixed together with that liquid stuff on it. Similarly, i hat e salads mixed, id rather have it separate. and i hate grated carrot. completely, even though i love carrot normally.
also, i have to have cream on some chocolate cakes but no on others, and theres no logic to it. I have to have certain things cold and certain things hot and theres no comprimise, if i make sandwiches they have to be done a certain way (butter has to reach the edges, fillings can't be too thick.

thankfully, when someone else is making sandwiches i can just take them as they come. But it drives my sister mad, expecially the fruit thing.

ah well.

Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 12:24 PM

JPSTARGAZER

Quote:
Originally posted by seryn:

Chavs, football supporters, Oasis fans and fetishists - i just do not 'get' them, can't get my head around what on earth they actually see in them, and are usually mentally filed away under 'lacking'.

Hey, I love Oasis! I don't much care for being grouped with fetishists either.... It's kinda funny, I didn't feel the need to defend my religion, Christianity, earlier, but I did jump in when Oasis was mentioned. Do you think that's a commentary on me?

Anyways, I really don't care, I mean I try to respect everyone's opinion. That brings me to a question...does a SO have to have the same opinions/tastes as you? I think it makes more sense to have slightly different tastes in music/movies and opinions about, say, politics. I mean if I wanted someone exactly like me, I would date myself (ok, don't ask about the physicalities to that comment).

"All I got is a red guitar, three chords, and the truth...the rest is up to you"
--Bono

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 12:37 PM

ZEEK

What's wrong with football? It's actualy a pretty neat sport strategically. It's all about tricking the other team into expecting one thing and then doing something else. It's more of a thinking sport then you're giving it credit for. Granted people could also just like the big, strong people smashing into each other as hard and fast as they can.

As for too many similarities...I don't worry too much about that. I think every person is different from every other. I'd rather find one who has somewhat similar taste to my own. Just my theory. Hasn't exactly worked out yet, but I'm still pretty confident it will.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 12:48 PM

GED

Hi everyone, so much to catch up on! I'll do a lil catch up when I have more time. Just wanted to say hi to you all for now!

__________________________________________________
This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 12:51 PM

Personally, I think a couple needs similar interests, as well as similar thoughts on raising children, spending or saving money, and a few other important things. Some things, like music, movies, politics, or even religion, can be unique to each, as long as there is a mutual respect between the partners.

Too many similarities can be frustrating as well, depending on what areas you're talking about. Both being short tempered, both wanting to be the center of attention, both wanting to have their career dictate where the couple lives... Those sorts of things generally need to be worked out or worked around, I think.

Though I will say that both hubby and I have short fuses, and similar things annoy and frustrate us. After a few colorful fights early on, it's actually worked out for the best, I think. I know what not to do when he is angry, because they're the same things that would bug me if I was angry. We don't tell each other to calm down, and for the most part we try not to push each others buttons, since what annoys me also annoys him. It also means that we can bitch to each other about other people's actions and the other won't think that the first is making too big of a deal about it.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 1:06 PM

PENGUIN

Seryn....What is a "Kerrangutang?"

I wish you guys spoke English!

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 1:08 PM

ELOISA

Mood-altering meds can be a two-sided thing. I was a lot more stable on the tricyclics, but I couldn't write anything. I came off them: two months later I suddenly exploded with 45K in four weeks. But for me there's a strong link between the mood swings - to hypomania as well as to depression - and the ability to write, and this completely trumps the advantages of stability. Not everyone would have the same response.

SOs and bad traits: some of mine are a bit odd. Vegetarianism, for instance. I don't have anything morally against vegetarians, it's just I'm a good cook but only for carnivores and would get annoyed cooking for a veggie. Similarly, a guy could like whatever music he wanted but if he didn't at least not complain about my stuff, I couldn't hack it. I've spent too long living with people who insist on having the radio off even in private (as I insist on having it *on* in private). Another daft one is that I sleep with the window open in all weathers - to increase oxygen content in the room - and actually sleep with a wet towel over my mouth in the worst heat, whereas some people can only sleep with the window closed and don't appreciate having the equivalent of a wet fish lying around on their pillow for half the night.

As I have a one-track mind, a guy would leave me pretty quickly if he didn't like SF. In addition, on the scale mentioned recently, I'm big on touch - I'll hug a person at inappopriate moments, for instance, and my idea of a good time can often be snuggled up reading while in physical contact with someone else.

The more serious things are mental/emotional - lack of human empathy and, as various people have said, addiction to hard drugs, lack of creativity, lack of motivation to get off social security, and religious fundamentalism (any religion). I have the bad reaction to the latter as I'm from the brand of secular Christianity that believes that religion is for inside people's heads and not for bashing over other people's heads. Just my tuppence ha'porth.

Crew member: Mal, all the way, for physical and emotional reasons.

I love it how a lot of us are choosing to take our romantic breaks a long way away from where we live. I'd pick St Lucia, Martinique, Tahiti, the Maldives or Hawaii, for instance, or Thailand which i already know is lovely. Anywhere with a beach and a lot of quiet time together.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 1:22 PM

Seryn your answers are just so witty and fun!! You must be so much fun to be with in person!!!
OK the gym is an icky bad place that only hardened criminals should be sentenced to>>.sorry just tired and hate working out a lot!

Anyway, I realized despite starting the thought I didn't add my two cents about what I would hate in an SO...so here it goes

1-pushy ( won't respect my opinions)
2-has no faith in me or my skills
3-likes camping a lot ( I don't mind a bit of outdoors but lots of it is nasty)
4-hates movies
5-soft or easily pushed around
6-and I hate to say this but DUMB is my number one can't stand it thing

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 1:43 PM

Eloisa, what you said about not being able to write anything on meds. I gotta keep that in mind, i'm supposedly an aspiring writer, lol, so probably not a good idea for me to use the meds lol. And hey, if the essence of drama is conflict, then internal conflict should be helpful. Portable essence. Good stuff.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 1:58 PM

On the topic of who in the crew we'd want to "be" with, I'm surprised no one has said Inara. Isn't anyone else at least a little bit curious what that would be like?

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 3:30 PM

*crickets*

Yep, that went well.

-Edit: 'Course, soon as I post, there are a few other posts, lol. I swear there was a long silence! Just look at the time stamps!

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 3:32 PM

JAMESTHEDARK

Which BDH?
Being with a member of my very favorite crew, it's a toss up between Kaylee (Just so sweet and kind) and River (Can't resist that allure). If I could BECOME a BDH, it'd be Jayne, simply because I wish I could be as single-minded and carefree as he is.

Terms of affection:
Touch
Touch
Touch
Touch
and did I mention touch? The way my life has conspired against me has created an almost tangible wall around me. People don't touch me, and I don't touch them. I can go for days without feeling a human touch, and I'm gettin' mighty sick of it.

Breasts:
As I said, bigger is not neccessarily better. Flat chested is no problem for me, and I like the look of a lithe, healthy woman. I can understand the infatuation, though. It is an area which is both soft and sensate. And they make a nice pillow when we doze off

Vacation:
ANYWHERE WARM!!
Seriously, bein' Canadian makes a body seriously appreciate warmth. If I can move to Jamaica, or Australia, I'll take it in a heartbeat.

Drugs:
I have only one thing to say about that. FREAM. Fear Rules Everything Around Me. As much as I intellectually know that getting a clinical diagnosis and beginning medication would help, the lizard brain I have always drowns that out with fear cries. I don't know what I'd become if I started taking brain-chemistry altering substances. Hell, I've never drank or done drugs, so my brain has always been my own (more or less.)
On the subject, I know there's something wrong, because I've had a lasting and debilitating depression since I was 13. First it got blamed on angst, then was just a phase. Now, people don't even talk about it. And as for me... FREAM.

--------------
I ain't lookin' for help from on high. That's a damn long wait for a train don't come.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 3:33 PM

PDCHARLES

What happened? He see your face?

Quote:
Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
On the topic of who in the crew we'd want to "be" with, I'm surprised no one has said Inara. Isn't anyone else at least a little bit curious what that would be like?

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

More than a little bit CK, much More...

Shes a natural beauty of a special kind.

I'll try and catch up with the rest of the thread.

CP Darlin'. Don't let that guy do that to you. He seems to suffer from peer anxiety and insecurities.

Vacation: New Zealand, Japan, Mediteranean...

words and touch (oooo... still thinkin' Inara)

respect SO interests no matter how querky.
As long as you seriously step back and take a look at your SO interests and not just tell yourself you MUST respect them.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:04 PM

Ugh, on a side note, I'm bored and lonely and miserable, and I stupidly volunteered to give blood tomorrow, so while I'm glad I can get a ride there, I'm not looking forward to organizing and then executing a bus/walk expedition home in California summer with blood loss. And at this very moment, I should do homework, but I'm not doing it. And..... yeah. Bored n empty. So how do you guys fill that whole void in one's soul?

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:12 PM

COPILOT

no idea let me know when you figure it out.
~Dentlia

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:38 PM

KENOBIUS

Quote:
Originally posted by Whitefall:
Ugh, on a side note, I'm bored and lonely and miserable, and I stupidly volunteered to give blood tomorrow, so while I'm glad I can get a ride there, I'm not looking forward to organizing and then executing a bus/walk expedition home in California summer with blood loss. And at this very moment, I should do homework, but I'm not doing it. And..... yeah. Bored n empty. So how do you guys fill that whole void in one's soul?

Been wondering that myself these last few weeks. As each day passes, I find less and less enthusiasm for anything other than my show, and sometimes that's questionable. I just float through the day manically depressed, day dreaming about things I cannot achieve. Sometimes I have work or rehearsals. Then it's back to this chair to sit and feel useless and hopeless. You're not the only one, my friend. I got your back.

But giving blood is cool.

http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:42 PM

Bah, miene schwester went out to buy a book, and mi madre is at work, and i went bike riding to try and get some sense into me... once i broke my bike i sorta came back. house was dark, i didnt bother with the lights. just found one of them encouraging songs, put it on repeat, and sorta lay and did nothing for about an hour. It was great.

Bah, we're making the thread all depressive again. Oops. I hate summer.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:37 PM

SERYN

ok, don't hurt me!

Stargazer - I know oasis fans, and most of them are allright, but i wouldn't ever date them as then i would be putting myself in a situation where i had to listen to them. I do not like the gallager brothers at all 'shaved apes with the combined personality of a gherkin' was how a friend once put it. That may not be fair, but i do think they are rude obnoxious idiots and i could go the rest of my life with out hearing from them again. Thats said, plenty of people love them, so note how i'm not hoping they drop of the face of the planet? I think i've grown as a person.

Oh, yeah, i don't patricularly like the music either, his voice irritates me and i never was a fan of the beatles.

And yes, its very important to be with someone who differes in their tastes, all of my ex's have had very unique tastes, and vastly differing opinions, and i'm happy with accomodating every taste up to and including yodel-rave, but oasis, if they must listen to it, would be when i'm not there.

and Zeek - its not football itself but the fans more, and perhaps i should have phrased it more as 'overrriding passion' - i refuse to play second fiddle to a buch of grossly overpaid blokes half a world away, i will never watch a game, so any partner (if it even progressed that far, would spend significant amounts of time completely on his own. if it got even further, theres no way i would allow my children to be dressed up in horrendously overpriced, garish and ugly bits of polyester, and have their young minds corrupted to the point where they can't talk about anything else.

thats said, i don't mind a guy who occaisionally catches a game down the pub with his mates, or plays in a local team on a saturday - its the fanatics that i wouldn't touch with a barge pole.

Like i said, i'm an intolerant bitch.

Penguin - a 'kerrangutang' is a neat little phrase i heard a while ago. It describe those types who still listen (exclusively) to angry boy rock music, and dress in angry boy rock music clothes, and hang around with other angry boys.

This in itself is fine if you are actually and angry boy, or a student, or early 20's.

but not when you're pushing thirty. GET OVER IT MATE!

the term is ambiguous - i wouldn't call some one one if they simply liked the music or wore band t shirts. but when they arew still behaving like teenagers, and refuse to even contemplate listening to other things or developing their tastes and maturing in their appreciation of things. Its usually also reserved for the ones on the lower end of the intelligence scale.

its a derogatory term and i should be ashamed of myself, but its also often apt and amusing. Bitch.

hee hee!

Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:51 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

*yawn stretch*
What'd I miss?
A lot. Okay then.
Tristan, my manual is like, five pages, and those aren't even full. They are the basics. I have one section/page of what not to argue with me about, one explaining that I can be a big worrier and be very curious and not to take that the wrong way, one saying that lying to me is about the worst thing you can do, and one explaining what being bi means. It's not like it would be a long, arduous read. The minor details actually aren't gone into, unless you count the "sex" section which can be included or not. It's the most detailed because in my limited experience my particular physical hints seem hard to pick up on, and no one can remember what spots do what. But maybe that should be chalked up to being with the wrong person. But I figure, if it's wanted, the reference is there. And there's the question of whether I'd actually show it to someone or if it was just to get my frustration out at being so misunderstood and misinterpreted in relationships. Writing it out basically gave me the thought "Wow, see, I'm not all that complicated!" several times. A few things came from discussions here, though, such as saying that wondering what's wrong doesn't mean I want to solve the problem for you or think you're stupid and that kind if thing.
It probably wouldn't be something I handed someone on a first date. If anything, if something seemed to be going not so smooth in a serious relationship and I couldn't articulate properly, I could just say "Here! Read this! I'm going for a walk." or something.
Romantic vacation would probably be Hawaii. Volcanos and whales and beaches, oh my!

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Maybe this brings up another question. There was a book out a while back that discussed the five "languages" of love: gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and touch. Where do y'all fall and do you think this theory is solid or whack?

I think the most important is words of affirmation, touch, and quality time, though I love gift giving from both ends (always seem to give more than I recieve; I need to work on that) and acts of service... Well, occasionally it could be fun, but I don't want a servant. But words of affirmation (or as another writer has put it, appreciation) are an important practice and a lot of people seem to find it the most challenging. I've heard it other places and put it into practice; it isn't whack. Re-affirming how you feel and what you love about the other person in words on a regular basis keeps it at the fore of your mind, and theirs too. It should also be mutual (again, something I seemed to give more than recieve). A great book on the subject I think everyone living should read is called "Lasting Love" by authors who I can't remember just now, but it's a married couple. It's excellent. I'm another that goes for the "this reminded me of you" gift giving, but I also try to put it in words. And touch is really huge for me, I love touching and being touched and nothing makes me feel more loved.
Mmmmmmmm, spontanious backrubs....
Awwwwwww, Seryn, I'm a poet! Do not fear us! We are a peaceful race!

And not all fetishists are bad. Almost everyone has a fetish and doesn't even realize it. It's just the nasty fetishes I can't imagine.
JP, I've done the really different outlooks thing, and it just causes friction, tension, and any number of problems. I'd much prefer someone who has close to the same outlook and beliefs so that fights can be avoided. And if they don't have the exact same music tastes (who would?) they should at least refrain from being nasty about mine. But I get along best with people I'm not constantly trying to explain my beliefs to. And (are you bored of hearing this yet?) my spiritual life is very much entangled with my body, so making love is... I'll go with sacred. I'd like it to be sacred to the other party as well. Thought I'd found that with Ex of Doom, but he kinda seemed to forget about that aspect later in the relationship, which was a problem. Also, if I couldn't find someone who understood what annoyed me (as CK has) I would want them to know how not to piss me off worse; some people are very dense in that area, and will keep trying the same things that don't work.
Zeek, Seryn's in England. She was talking about soccer hooligans, not football with the big men crashing into each other. Though I personally don't get that; I don't like football or soccer. Or really most any sport, though I love watching the Olympics.
I'll restate that drug use of any kind bugs me. Be it legal or illegal, drugs are drugs. Caffiene is okay, I guess.
James, why you gotta be in Canada? Man who loves touch and does no drugs, you're probably just my type

I think there are options other than meds. Sometimes it's the only way, but sometimes I feel like people just pop a pill and don't try to actually solve the underlying problem. I've gotten through depression before; my particular brand was not unbalenced chemistry (I'm pretty sure anyway) but actual depression. Life sucked. I got through it. I'm okay now. I'm fighting the idea that my life is kinda sucking right now, though. Don't wanna fall into that hole again. But it's hardly going swimmingly. But getting through it, that was all me; I don't want a crutch.
Whitefall, the void in my soul has most recently been filled with Firefly and PhotoShop. Also, this place.
I guess the American equivalent of 'kerrangutang' would be "emo kid". I wouldn't want to date an emo kid. No matter how old they are. They're annoying. It's less 'angry boy' and more 'I'm sad life sucks whine whine whine' with the clothes and the hairdos that all look the same, and the obsession with glasses and their refusal to listen to anything else.
Hey look I'm at the end of the thread! Shiny!

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Wednesday, July 19, 2006 1:09 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Oh, here's something I forgot to mention; I was at Barnes and Noble earlier just killing some time, and I was browsing through their pretty PhotoShop section, and just got the dirtiest look from this old guy. He was reading at the end of the aisle, and he looked up at me like "What are you doing here?"
I wanted to smack him.
Anyway, that was the first time such a thing has happened, though I'm sure others have had similar experience. I just wanted to vent about it.

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Wednesday, July 19, 2006 1:38 AM

SPACEANJL

Husband and I have some differing tastes - most of the music in the house is mine, as are the books. But then, I have a lot of books. (Think small store quantity)

Part of my brain seems to have stuck at 'early teenage male', (not good in a thrity-something woman) 'cos I like shouty guitar music, graphic novels and movies with explosions. Luckily, husband is tolerant of this. But we agree on religion (lack of) and politics (vaguely leftish)

However, he is an ardent cyclist, whilst I believe they should be banned from the roads and getting in the way of decent motorists.

Romantic holidays - done Petra, done the Pyramids - sailing down the Nile at sunset...would like to do Venice at Carnivale (yay Seryn!) or Rome. Also want to do a movie tour State-side. We may be out to visit kin next year, so any of you guys in Indiana?

edit:PR I get that whenever I go near the graphic novels (see above) Either that, or weird blokes getting far too close to this odd thing called a woman that they have read about but never seen...

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Wednesday, July 19, 2006 2:34 AM