Male and Female Imponderables--Talk Amongst Yourselves by Tristan

NV

One should NEVER be a "roommate" of someone they are sexually interested in. So if she really means "roommate" and not scrump buddy then answer is NO.

If she means scrump buddy then you don't need to move in.

If she really means I want you to help me pay the rent - RUN RUN RUN

:kisses:

We are The Forsaken - We aim to burn! and we don't need no stinkin levels!

one of the Forsaken TM

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 11:18 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER

DLA! DLA!

Pretty much made up my mind on the whole idea already. Just had to let it out. Kinda burnin' me up that I am not yet capable of moving out yet. That and I'd like living with someone fun without having to sleep with them. I like being able to go home or to my room and being left to myself for a bit. Not that I get tons of me time, but what I get is good.
Like I said, just had to tell someone.

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 11:29 AM

NVG, we are always happy to listen to anything you have to tell us. That is what we are here for...sort of a virtual water-cooler.

______________________________________

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 12:51 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER

Glug Glug.

Just love the sound of that thing

Gotta be out for the day.

Bear hugs to all.

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 12:55 PM

Ok NV- exactly how bad could the special hell be?? I think she just might be trying to let you know she wants you! will explain shortly

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 1:36 PM

SERYN

it still tickles me that they're marketing high heels at women.

(originally worn by men, no prizes for guessing ehy they got fobbed off on the wome folk.

and i'll agree with you about the diet stuff, to the point where it really surprised me that the new zero sugar coke had really lad oriented ads.

Words that mean things to different people.

lemme think on that. the only one that springs to mind is 'funky' depending on the context it means either 'alright' ('yeah. ok, i get that, i agree, lets get on with it' sort of thing) 'cool' or 'hideously yucky and giving off an undesirable aroma'

But i don't know if that female brit or just helen-centric.

I finally saw a guy on tv kiss nicely - a discussion a while back on how celluloid kisses always looked bad? Well, the guy who plays Eric in Wonderfalls is quite good at it. And the one who plays the brother isn't bad either. I'd comment on the girls performances, but when those two are on the screen i'm not looking anywhere else.

I like the strong silents type - not because i'm into mysteries (far from it - i'll be the girl tearing her hair out and yelling 'just say what you frickin mean!') but because i like dignified, quietly confident types who arn't constantly running their mouths off and trying to be the centre of attention.
plus, theres always the fun of of knowing someone who is quite reserved in public - getting to see the soft underbelly is quite the privelidge, and make you feel a bit special.

I know absolutely nothing about wine - i've only just managed to be able to stomach it. Something about a liquid that smells bad, tastes bad, makes your tongue go dry and fusty and gives you a red nose stained teeth and a hangover just never endeared it much to me.

but then i've never enjoyed alcohol as a rule - i like the ocasional whiskey and the rum cocktails where you can't taste it, but I will never ever understand the appeal of tonic water, bitter lemon etc etc. I'd rather eat hobo socks.

PR, if you havent done it already, ask him out, youve nothing to loose and a lot to gain.
I've asked people out before, its not as mortifying as it sounds.

also not as bad as people make it out to be is waxing - i did my legs and it didn't hurt at all. i was most surprised - i used the veet ready to use strips - really neat and simple and they just worked really well. and no pain.

wouldn't recommend doing anything more that your legs though at home - everything else really needs to be done by a professional.(even if just for ease of reaching)
Which is the only reason i don't do it.

I have been sewing trims on this thing for the last four evenings - if i don't finish it by tomorrow evening, i'm committing suicide (or murder, whichever i feel like at the time) so if you don't hear from me, you know why.

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 3:48 PM

WHITEFALL

First off Seryn, lemme say: Wooo, wonderfalls!

Ok, now that's done... Damnit seryn, murder is not the answer. Nor is suicide. Um... i dont actually know the answer, but that isnt it.

And now, woo for the quietly confident not being center of attention guys! Because... I think I may be one. Odd that I am self-deprecating but consider myself confident. Oh well.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 3:50 PM

Whitefall

Not odd that one can be self deprecating and confident.

How about people like me that are extremely confident yet lack self esteem - now THAT is weird!

We are The Forsaken - We aim to burn! and we don't need no stinkin levels!

one of the Forsaken TM

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 3:56 PM

WHITEFALL

I think that comment warrants a

to FMF, or maybe a trip to your very own appreciating thread.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 4:16 PM

Not at all.

I know I am very smart and extrememly capable. So its all good. I just don't think I am anything special and I know I am not that great looking. Its all good. I am comfortable in the me. I know a lot of confident women that will tell you they have low self esteem.

We are The Forsaken - We aim to burn! and we don't need no stinkin levels!

one of the Forsaken TM

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 5:42 PM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Ok guns; grandpa was a cop and lifetime member of the NRA. I shot for the first time when I was twelve. I was drilled on gun safety. I wouldn't mind owning a gun. I think, though, that just like a car you should need a license to opperate or own a gun. I don't think that's unreasonable. I would be happy to take a little safety review, prove I wasn't going to accidently shoot myself or someone else and get a nice little card with my picture on it that says I can own a gun.
I would prefer to never shoot or harm or kill a person, because of the whole karma thing, but you better believe if some phycho broke into my house I would try my damndest to kill them. Know why? It's called the make my day law; if someone is in your home without your permission (this is Colorado, folks!) you can kill them and have no legal reprocusion, basically. But if they live to take you to court, then you have to deal with that.
I know... far too many women who have been assaulted at some time in their lives. I'm fortunate not to have shared their fate (I don't think an overaggresive boyfriend counts, since I put him off and broke up with him) but I think rapists and molesters should be castrated, drawn, and quartered. It makes me absolutely sick. It's the worst possible thing you can do to a person. I worry that one of my friends will never have a good experience of the beauty that is lovemaking because she freaks out if anyone touches her. She's totally cut off from her own body. I think that, for such a huge problem, it doesn't get nearly enough attention.
LOL Seryn I love your description of wine!
As for confidence, yeah I like that. And I don't like really loud guys who have to be the center of attention, but I don't like silence either. I think that, no matter who you're with, you see things about them that no one else sees. And that's as it should be.
Still haven't asked the boy out. Trying to get my wording right...

All things, oh priests, are on fire - Gautama Siddharta

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 8:59 PM

SERYN

er, translater microbe glitch - you know i was kidding don't you whitefall?

I couldn't quite work it out for m the tone.... er, not going to kill myself over a bitty bit of highly-irritatin-pain-inducing-time-consuming-bloody-awkward-but-so-very-pretty sewing.

may just reconsider my stance on murder if the maker of these braids ever happens my way.

but how likely is that?

http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 8:59 PM

SERYN

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 9:59 PM

ODDSBODSKINS

h'mmm, guns, bit of an odd issue in that i've got some weirdly contrasting opinions and stance's on them. Have used various forms of firearms since i was really pretty small, air-rifle's, all sorts of thing when i was in the cadets, more recently black-powder revolvers and pistol caliber rifle's. Thoroughly enjoy it, i'm a terrible shot and always have been, but i thoroughly enjoy it. However i'm strongly in favour of strict legislation regarding the private ownership of guns, any manner of background checks, safety test's, courses, it's all good so far as i'm concerned. ironic because i'm normally pretty far against governments' getting to check into too much of people's private lives, but in this case i think the fact that one choose's to allow them that access if one wants to own a firearm, and also the particular situation and gravity of what is being licensed alter circumstance's a little. s'odd, i'm quite happy with my countries current gun laws, they're strict, it's not easy to get and own a firearm, and handguns are completely illegal, but at the same time i outright condemn the banning of handguns following dunblane as a knee-jerk reaction which has only served to increase the number of illegal firearms in britain.

i'm confused on the whole issue, part of me is saying 'well, i enjoy shooting, i've enjoyed hunting in the past. i'm not, on the whole, all that bad a person, and i'm probably only murderous one those killer, 13 hour hungover shifts, so what can the problem be' and another part of me is thinking equally, that there's no place for them in a large portion of society, after all, they serve only to destroy.

maybe not confused, i'm quite strongly opinionated and believe whole-heartedly in both argument's, which is rather hellish to try and explain.

edit: edited to add in a wee wondering. how many people are touchy about kitchen implements? i know it's traditional to be touchy about other people using your knives if you work in a kitchen, now, i don't even work in a kitchen, and haven't for nearly three years (even then it was a few months in a pub-kitchen doing steaks and instant lasagne) nor am i a terribly accomplished cook. but i realised just now, never mind knives, i don't even like other people using my chopping board! found someone had used my filleting knife and just dumped it dirty in the sink, was about ready to throw a major cream puff and start ranting and raving.

anyone else feel this way about implements? or am i just being bizarre and inexplicable?

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Tuesday, August 8, 2006 11:39 PM

SPACEANJL

No, knives are personal. And you should never leave them in dirty water, or loose in a drawer.

I have a set of the really good Japanese knives (vanadium/molybdenum folded steel, made in the traditional way of katana blades) They are always washed first and separately. These things are sharp enough to cut you to the bone before you notice, so they get treated with respect.

Then, I never lend my swords to anybody, either.

Can't answer on the gun issue, though I may be contacting some folks for some background info. And I'm freaked by the, er, animal issues. WTF?

Personal safety - it's not just knowledge, it's being prepared to use what you know. A lot of women take personal defence lessons, and then freeze when actually confronted. Social conditioning still makes it unacceptable for a woman to be loud and aggressive, and they find it difficult to overcome this in stressful situations. I froze once, and never again. I was just lucky that I was small enough to fit in a space I couldn't be hauled out of. Now, I go in with a willingness to hurt, as some bloke found out a while ago.

And I have one thing in my head on the high heels thing - did anybody ever see that scary British film that had Chwitel Ejiofor as the tranny, in the big high heeled thigh boots? Scarring, and that was just the trailer.

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 3:21 AM

Morning, all!
One day closer to Friday! Whoo-hoo!

Kitchen implements...yes, that makes my blood crawl. I have lived with roommates before who did not treat my things with the respect I think they deserved (knives on velvet pillows, mixing bowls stored in their own hand-carved mahogany boxes), and it steamed me to no end. It took me awhile to adjust to the fact that the wife uses the kitchen stuff, too...and that problem was solved by us having "our" kitchen stuff; everything we either bought together or has been given to us as gifts. There are still some things like knives that are mine or hers, but the rest is ours, so all is well.

Ok, coffee time. I shall return.

______________________________________

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 3:33 AM

SPACEANJL

The knives thing...mine are the real-deal catering grade ones, bought for me by my brother over a couple of years. Husband felt impelled to go and buy himself a whole set to match. Bless. Blade envy.

(And he only got the domestic ones, 'cos bro is in the business.)

Lived with one housemate once who systematically vandalized her way through my stuff. (Not just forks across all the saucepans, but my tv, and my microwave, both of which I put in the communal areas to be nice) I never did find out what her deal was. I have lived on one meal a day since to afford my own space that I do not have to share with others. Now, of course, I have a husband - but it takes two of us to serve and worship the cat, of course.

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 3:42 AM

SpaceAnJL, I also spent a few years working for a caterer/restauranteer...started as a supervisor of workers, ended about the same, but with quite a bit of kitchen and food prep experience. I am a fan of the Solingen blades myself, but yours sound quite impressive...katana-steel knives...yeah, I could put myself in the hospital with no problem at all with those

I understand about your own space. And no one should take this the wrong way, because I am happy sharing space with my wife, but every time I have lived by myself, I reached a state of kitchen bliss (when I had a kitchen, that is). I knew where everything was, and could prep a meal practically with my eyes closed. But then, I didn't have the happiness of having a cooking companion all the time back then!

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 3:53 AM

As a cooking person I understand the joy and pefection of really good cooking knives..in fact I was just watching Jaime Oliver's show and he went off and bought new knives to celebrate his new kitchen...lovely knives:)

Odds- I have $50 that says I am the only American who understood that Dunblane reference:) One psycho shoots up a school yard and they want a handgun ban...I hate to say this, but had he not had access to guns he would have poisoned them or done something else horrific. That was him, not the gun. I'm not saying the gun didn't make it easier, but someone like that will be and do evil no matter what!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 3:57 AM

oh and speaking of knives.... check out
www.restaurantsource.net they have fab knives from Santoku, Dexter-Russell, and Solingen.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:08 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
As a cooking person I understand the joy and pefection of really good cooking knives..in fact I was just watching Jaime Oliver's show and he went off and bought new knives to celebrate his new kitchen...lovely knives:)

Odds- I have $50 that says I am the only American who understood that Dunblane reference:) One psycho shoots up a school yard and they want a handgun ban...I hate to say this, but had he not had access to guns he would have poisoned them or done something else horrific. That was him, not the gun. I'm not saying the gun didn't make it easier, but someone like that will be and do evil no matter what!

I'm a fan of Jaime too, though I can never seem to catch his show when it's on. My absolute favorites though are Paula Deen and Rachel Ray.

As for the whole gun thing, I can see your point. While I'm not a big fan of guns, I do agree that if someone is really intent on hurting another person, they will find a way to do it, whether they have a gun or not. The same principle works for media and violence, I think. Listening to Slipknot or playing Manhunt isn't going to make you harm someone. People that commit violent acts were already mentally unbalanced in the first place.

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"See, this is a sign of your tragic space dementia. All paranoid and crotchety, it breaks the heart."

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:11 AM

Deepgirl- if you get the food network he is on at 2am (MST) on Saturdays....which I think is a travesty. He's great and should get a much better air time! Jaime is a great chef and loads of fun to watch. Rachel Ray is my favorite too. I've never had one of her recipies go badly:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:13 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

YAAAGH!

I can't do it! I can't do it! What is the matter with me?
What do I say? What do I do? Why am I all freaked out? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

All things, oh priests, are on fire - Gautama Siddharta

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:17 AM

MsG: 2AM! You gotta be kidding me!

PR: Okay, sweetie, calm down and tell us what's the matter.

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"See, this is a sign of your tragic space dementia. All paranoid and crotchety, it breaks the heart."

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:18 AM

PR- hon what's wrong? What can we do?

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:20 AM

Appropos of absolutely nothing, I am dropping in to say hello. I am also dropping off a picture I stole from sweetserendipity - SHHHHHH FOR THE LADIES

We are The Forsaken - We aim to burn! and we don't need no stinkin levels!

one of the Forsaken TM

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:21 AM

I will soooooo be in my bunk

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:23 AM

MsG - I want one for my anniversary! Where can I get one of those? I will only need it until my BDH realizes that he pines for me and me alone.

We are The Forsaken - We aim to burn! and we don't need no stinkin levels!

one of the Forsaken TM

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:31 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

*murflemeep*
I... I am trying... I am trying to tell this guy we should get together... And I just can't do it! I can't even type it! GAH!
I'm glad I'm not trying to do it in person. I would be making such a royal fool of myself!

All things, oh priests, are on fire - Gautama Siddharta

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:34 AM

Oh no you don't! We are NOT letting you back out of this. Ok young lady, log on and just say. I was thinking about your email. I'm also wishing there were more people our age around. We should go get some sushi so we can at least stick together.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:39 AM

PR, no! You will not back down! We are behind you, and will push if necessary.

______________________________________

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:39 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

I am on! And I'm in reply to e-mail! And I have this response written, and all I have to say is "Hey, so maybe we should get together, grab some sushi or something" and I keep having little SPAZZ ATTACKS and I'm turning bright red and making many incoherent noises of distress.

YAAAGH!

All things, oh priests, are on fire - Gautama Siddharta

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:40 AM

It's okay PR, I know you'll be able to do it. You are one of the most intelligent people I've had the pleasure of talking to, and I don't use the term lightly. You'll think of something to say.

And please, FMF, no more posting that picture. I really don't want my boss to catch me drooling on the keyboard. Might have to pay for the damned thing.

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"See, this is a sign of your tragic space dementia. All paranoid and crotchety, it breaks the heart."

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:44 AM

PR

Type message, hover mouse over send, close eyes, take deep breath and SEND.

The worst that can happen is he says no. And you might just make his day!

Deepgirl - I have nothing but love for you - but I can neither confirm or deny my intention for further posting of the lovely. A girl has to have SOME fun!

We are The Forsaken - We aim to burn! and we don't need no stinkin levels!

one of the Forsaken TM

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:44 AM

PR- push send NOW!!!!!!!!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:47 AM

Jeez-o-peets, between the random postings of Spike and the entire thread with pics of our captain, I'm never getting any peace. Oh well, I suppose the only way to get rid of temptaion is to give in to it.

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"See, this is a sign of your tragic space dementia. All paranoid and crotchety, it breaks the heart."

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:51 AM

OK peeps

Question for the men. What does a man mean when they say a woman is or is not "good in bed" What exactly are they looking for?

We are The Forsaken - We aim to burn! and we don't need no stinkin levels!

one of the Forsaken TM

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 4:56 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

They're looking for me

Well, maybe a me who goes down more often...

Really I think they want someone who is into it. I mean, what fun would it be otherwise? Being a multiple certainly doesn't hurt, either.

This is from my own perspective, though. I've only been with the one, and he wasn't what you'd call overly experienced, but he certainly had no complaints.
Except that I was insatiable.
Stupid boy.

Thanks, deepgirl, it means a lot that you think I'm smart. Where did my smart go, I wonder?
Erg, I keep changing what I wrote! It all sounds stupid.

All things, oh priests, are on fire - Gautama Siddharta

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 5:01 AM

PR- say "Hey we should hang out. Want to meet me for sushi?" simple to the point and basic.

As for what guys want... enjoying yourself, not being inhibited, wanting them and showing it, and being relaxed. Did I miss anything guys?

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 5:19 AM

FMF, "good in bed" to me means one that does not lie there like a dead body (and yes, I have dated one or two of those). "Good in bed" means they enjoy every moment of the act; before, during, and after...they have enthusiasm, athleticism, and an open and inquiring mind. Yes, that last part can be taken as kinky, but what I am looking for is someone who sees sex as healthy, necessary, and fulfilling. The best lovers I had were as lusty and uninhibited as I was...they enjoyed sex fully and had no modesty, shame, or second thoughts when in the throes.
That about sums it up.

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 5:59 AM

OK time to get busy. I am off to play with baby Wyatt and help Holly with the new house ( oh forgot to mention my beloved brother, sister-in-law, and nephew finally got a house) then tutoring and on to a bank thing with the husband. So I should be back in about 8 hours drat it....HUGS to all and sundry and have fun today.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 6:29 AM

WHITEFALL

Seryn, I knew you were kidding, I'm just picky about the wording of stuff like that.

No opinion on the 'good in bed' thing, but frankly any guy who judges women solely on... oh nevermind.

Have fun MSG!

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 6:39 AM

ODDSBODSKINS

don't think anyone's suggesting that they judge women soley on their performance in bed whitefall, but it'd be daft for them to claim that they've never held any quick mental comparison's. For me it's mostly being prepared to take an even role, i'm not into controlling things entirely any more then i am into being entirely controlled, so a balance of sorts in control, and being relaxed and confident about what's going on (and yes, can sympathise with the whole lying like a dead body thing, it's no fun for anyone involved and is a real turn-off...was in a relationship once that bordered on necrophilia in bed)

as for the knives, glad to see i'm not the only one who's touchy, and glad as well to see i'm not the only one who appreciates good quality kitchen knives (<3 my sabatiers) pretty much everybody i know just nods and smiles if they find out i spent so much on them, well, barring my parents.

but argh! *screams* just went into the kitchen and someone had gone and used them again, and the chopping board! there's a REASON i keep some cheap ikea knives and a cheap ikea chopping board in the kitchen as well, if you don't have your own use THAT >.< now wound up putting a label on the block asking people not to use them...here's waiting to see if it has any effect.

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 6:50 AM

Whitefall, I am not judging any woman solely on her bedroom performance. The question was asked to see what men meant by that phrase. My answer is not to be taken as how I judge the whole person. You will one day realize that the sexual aspect of a serious relationship is very important. If one of the two does not enjoy it, there is going to be friction that may eventually destroy the relationship. So, "good in bed" is a character-plus, meaning the woman is free in her own mind and enjoys what she is doing. This same thing can be applied to men, but the question asked was:

Quote:
What does a man mean when they say a woman is or is not "good in bed" What exactly are they looking for?

And I do agree with you; we should not judge the whole person by one aspect of their personality.

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 7:48 AM

DAYVE

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
What does a man mean when they say a woman is or is not "good in bed" What exactly are they looking for?

Men are looking for the same thing as women in bed, someone who is there in mind as well as body. If both participants involved in the act of lovemaking aren’t in tune with one another or at the very least paying attention, than the act itself becomes meaningless. What men, (ok, I can’t speak for other men…), but what I want is love. Without love there is no lovemaking… I know how simple that sounds, but for me anyway, it is true.

Sure, there those who have sex solely for personal gratification, and the oldest profession in the world didn’t get that way for nothing. I’ve never gone that route. I’ve been lucky in that every time I’ve made love to a woman it was a mutual decision – willing participants, and I honestly can’t remember a single time when sex was bad.

So, I guess I would say compatibility is important to me. There are probably people getting together simply for sex who have very different ideas of what is good or bad. If one person is kinky and the other is more traditional the sex is going to be bad from at least one viewpoint.

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 7:49 AM

DANCINGNEKO

'Morning all.

*hugs PR*
Breathe girl breathe...If you're going to freak out over the offering of sushi, maybe offer to meet for some green tea (skip the mention of the sushi

). Then when you name a place for meeting, throw in a sushi place. He'll figure it out

.

If it might make you feel better (make writing it easier and mentally coherent), maybe you should write it as if you were inviting one of us to get together at a sushi place. Then after you write the note, change the name on top, then click on "send."

...and to FMF...*jaw drops* *reaches for a cooked noodle to whap you with* Oooh...yum. (I swear, every time I see a picture of James, his cheeks could cut glass.) Nice way to wake up in the a.m., but...*tosses giant fuzzy yarn pom-pom style ball in FMF's direction* phooey. Makes me all sorts of bummed about the lack of a s.o. to wrap arms around now.

MsG/MisterG: What's this about not getting any maternity leave for teaching? *boggles* Insane! *hunts for something to whap whomever thought of that stupid rule where you are*

*sigh* Okay...off to the insanity that's my work. Answers and comments to the rest of these things later.

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Wednesday, August 9, 2006 7:57 AM