Early draft of 'Serenity' by History

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Early draft of 'Serenity'

POSTED BY: HISTORY
UPDATED: Friday, September 22, 2006 09:36
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Friday, September 22, 2006 6:41 AM

In a recent discussion [After Serenity (a personal soliloquy)], I shared the following. And I was surprised that this early draft was not better known by Browncoats--or is it? Anyone else have a copy of this?
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Last evening I read an early draft of Serenity 1 in my possession (the version where Book and Wash don't die ), and although the final screen version is better, there are a few great passages, including one that carries on the loose thread I referenced from Heart of Gold:

Quote:
INT. BRIDGE: [Leaving the dead world Miranda] Wash is piloting, Zoe beside him. They look out into the sea of ships, tense and quiet. After a while...

ZOE (quietly): We make it out of this, you and me are going to make a baby.

Wash thinks about it.

WASH: Let's make a lot.

Amidst all the death in Serenity 1, and the hints from Nathan (and others) that he would like to see Mal also killed off at the end of the series run, I personally would prefer to see the affirmation of Independent "Life" in the 'verse (particularly our BDH's lives).
Just my personal preference, of course.

Btw, in this earlier draft, there is a wonderful insight regarding MAL shared by ZOE.
On Haven as the crew, under Zoe, is begrudgingly strapping the corpses of their friends onto Serenity's prow...

Quote:
ZOE: They'll mostly burn in atmo, be a kind of pyre for 'em.

BOOK: Mounted like trophies...it's beyond sacrilege. How could the Captain care so little for these people?

ZOE: They're useful.

SIMON: That's a tired refrain.

BOOK: This isn't mere practicality. It's madness.

ZOE: Little bit, yes. But I've been through a war with Mal and seen what it done.

SIMON: You were in that same war. But you live almost like a person might; you have an actual relationship -- a marriage. You didn't turn into some ... Gorgon ...

ZOE: I'm career Army, my whole family is. I was already in when the war started. Mal volunteered. He joined the fight because he believed. He believed his planet should be left alone. Believed we would win if we gave our hearts to it, that his generals wouldn't lay down arms while his men were still dying around him ... that God would help us in our darkest place ...

She cinches a knot tight, moves to the next body.

ZOE (continued): See, that's the difference between Mal and me. All I ever lost was a war.

The three are quiet, and continue to work.

Respectfully,
History

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Friday, September 22, 2006 6:55 AM

SAFEAT2ND

Where would one go about laying hands upon this gem? I'd definitely like to read it.

I'm curious to see what other turns weren't taken, so to speak. I would've much rather seen the turns you mention than the ones Joss took.

__________________________________________________
"Stop doing that thing"
"What thing"
"That thing where your mouth moves and noise comes out"

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Friday, September 22, 2006 6:57 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

me too! me too!

----
Bestower of Titles, Designer of Tshirts, Maker of Mottos, Keeper of the Pyre

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Friday, September 22, 2006 7:11 AM

NOSADSEVEN

Quote:
Originally posted by History:
...I was surprised that this early draft was not better known by Browncoats--or is it? Anyone else have a copy of this?

Thanks for sharing those tidbits, Hx.

Chris Bridges did a nice write-up of the script here:
http://www.serenitystuff.com/2006/07/01/the-earlier-longer-script-for-
serenity/

I know gossi has a copy, too.

There seems to be the feeling that eventually someone will put it up online, but nobody wants to be the one to do that, since it wasn't released by Joss. I know I wouldn't be comfortable putting the whole thing online if I had a copy, but who can resist sharing the best bits (like Zoe on Mal and the war).

I also love the bit with Jayne trying to trigger River by singing the Fruity Oaty Bar jingle. So very Jayne.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ain't. We. Just.

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Friday, September 22, 2006 7:33 AM

DAVESHAYNE

Quote:
Originally posted by safeat2nd:
Where would one go about laying hands upon this gem? I'd definitely like to read it.

Somebody was selling coppies of it on ebay. Don't know if he/she still is.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

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Friday, September 22, 2006 8:22 AM

SHINY

Thanks for posting this! I had seem other snippets from early drafts posted, but never these passages. Is there a complete copy of the whole early draft posted somewhere?

---

I don't need a gorram back-spaceship driver!!!

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Friday, September 22, 2006 8:32 AM

TRISTAN

Whoa. Anyone else get shivers from that passage about the war? Oy.
Thank you for sharing that, History. I was not aware that there was "another" version...not I shall have to try and find it.

______________________________________

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Friday, September 22, 2006 8:52 AM

HERA7

If anyone lives in Orlando, FL, they have a good collection of scripts in the downtown public library.

It's been a few years since I have been there, but there was an early draft of 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' which was a wish list script too. Had many action scenes not in the final script that were later adapted for 'Temple of Doom,' like the Chinese restaurant fight/rolling gong gag, mine car chase, pilotless airplane/rubber raft jump, etc.

If they still aquire scripts, the early Serenity script may be in their collection.

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Friday, September 22, 2006 9:25 AM

HISTORY

Thank you for your posts.
Yes, the review of the early draft at
http://www.serenitystuff.com/2006/07/01/the-earlier-longer-script-for-
serenity
seems to touch on all the major differences and provide the best additional/different dialogue.
Thank you for sharing this link.
I, too, recommend it.

Perhaps someday, Joss will publish both (and any intervening) script drafts with annotation on how he decided what to change, what to cut, as part of the creative process--for those of us who are interested in such things [e.g. I also have read the 12 volume published study of J.R.R. Tolkien's Middle-Earth writings written by his son Christopher

]

In the final anaysis, I have come to more greater appreciation of Joss's creative genius and story-telling by the comparison of the early the draft and the better (in my humble opinion) final product--despite some of the great dialogue and insights in the characters (and, unfortunately but necessarily, the characters themselves) that were sacrificed along the way.

The movie is superb. In fact, I'll be having a mini-Shindig for friends (some who have seen it and some who have not) for this Sunday's HBO High Definition showing at 330PM EST. Just bought the brew and vittles and decorated the home theater with Serenity/Firefly paraphernalia.
In sympathy and respect, I'll have on my Hawaian shirt and toy dinosaurs at hand.
Keep on flyin'!

Respectfully,
History

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Friday, September 22, 2006 9:36 AM

CHRISMOORHEAD

Did you know about the one draft of the script where I kicked Joss Whedon's ass for killing off Wash and Book when he had a perfectly good alternate on hand?

What the hell, man? As short and small as those two scenes are, they're.. damnit, they're so good! What was Whedon smoking when he decided it needed changing?

[IMG]

"Pain is your friend, it is your ally. It will keep you awake, and angry, and remind you to finish the mission and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain? It let's you know that you're not dead yet."

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