Firefly, Ultracondensed. by Karel

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Firefly, Ultracondensed.

POSTED BY: KAREL
UPDATED: Saturday, January 27, 2007 07:10
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Friday, January 26, 2007 7:09 PM

Flying on duct tape and a damaged registry.

Hi, all! Welcome to my second thread. Ever. I think.

I do not know if it has made it to fff.net yet, but MalsWay found this at http://www.raygunrevival.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?p=4188#4188:

***

Firefly
by Joss Whedon
ultracondensed by Johne Cook

Mal: I love you, God, almost as much as I love the Browncoats!

(Browncoats lose)

Mal: I hate you, God, and will pout about this until the series suffers an untimely cancellation!

Jayne: I will lie and betray you all at any moment!

(It's a lie. Or is it?)

Shepherd Book: I'm not worthy! Have a strawberry while I wait for the second season.

River Tam: I am barefoot and nothing I say makes any sense. Or does it?

Kaylie: Simon, you're so hot!

Simon: Sorry, what? Where's my crazy barefoot sister?

While getting new work / protecting the ship and crew / just hanging around, Mal is: slapped, punched, gouged, sliced, shot, paralyzed, frozen, starved for oxygen, stripped, electrocuted, killed, revived, shot again, stabbed, bodyslammed, and kissed.

For reasons too complex to go into here, the kissing is the worst.

Reavers: Grr, argh!

Wash: I'm a leaf on the YAAARRRGGG!

Zoe: Take me now, Mal. Psych!

Inara and Mal: I don't love you!

Readers: You really do!

(They really do. Or do they?)

Serenity: I love my dysfunctional family! (Clank!)

Fox Executives: We have a hit on our hands. Quick! Pull the plug!

(They do.)

Browncoats: Not so fast!

(Then the miracle occurs. But is it enough?)

***

Speaking of MalsWay (me wifey), please allow me to shamelessly pimp her novella that was recently published on www.raygunrevival.com, "The Price of Conquest". It is an eZine of space opera short stories. Each issue is a downloadable .pdf file. Issue 13, which her story is in, is about a 4MB download:

Warning! 4MB --> http://raygunrevival.com/Published/RGR_0013_2007_01_01.pdf

--Karel.

"Wondrous is our great blue ship that sails around the mighty sun and joy to everyone that rides along." -- Jeff Lynne, Electric Light Orchestra.

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Friday, January 26, 2007 8:18 PM

JPSTARGAZER

Yeah, I guess that is everything boiled down...but there's so much more. By the way, welcome to the site, I'm sure the official welcoming committee will take care of you (if they haven't given you your coat already). This reminds me of the Serenity puppet version...let's see if I can find the link.

http://www.jerrythefrogproductions.com/Serenity.html

"All I got is a red guitar, three chords, and the truth...the rest is up to you"
--Bono

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Friday, January 26, 2007 8:52 PM

KAREL

Flying on duct tape and a damaged registry.

Quote:
Originally posted by jpstargazer:
Yeah, I guess that is everything boiled down...but there's so much more. By the way, welcome to the site, I'm sure the official welcoming committee will take care of you (if they haven't given you your coat already). This reminds me of the Serenity puppet version...let's see if I can find the link.

http://www.jerrythefrogproductions.com/Serenity.html
(snip)

Hey there! I'm not exactly new. It is merely my second thread, however. Thankyou!

You are correct in that there is so much more. I saw the bit on a non-Firefly site on which there happens to be many Browncoats. It seemed snort-worthy, so I thought I'd cross-post it.

I've seen the finger puppet Firefly version. LOL! Gotta see the Serenity version now. Thanks.

--Karel.

"Wondrous is our great blue ship that sails around the mighty sun and joy to everyone that rides along." -- Jeff Lynne, Electric Light Orchestra.

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Saturday, January 27, 2007 7:10 AM

ASORTAFAIRYTALE

Haha, That was great! I love the grr arrgh reavers and all the "For reasons too complex to go into here, the kissing is the worst."
Very funny! Thanks!

---------
Love keeps her in the air when she outta fall down, tells you she's hurting before she keels. Makes her a home.

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