Too cute! Found at the Firefly board at the IMDB by ayrad

Chicken: Because they called me chicken!

Harken: You crossed the road in the war.
Chicken: Crossed a lot of roads in the war.
Harken: And your husband?
Chicken: Cross him sometimes, too.

Chicken: You have no idea. And you never will. A chicken doesn't cross and tell.

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Thursday, February 1, 2007 9:02 PM

FASTMOVER

Niska: This chicken, it doesn't lay the eggs.

Mal: I'm sure it was a very bad chicken.

Niska: My wife's pet, I'm getting mouthful at dinner, there's no avoiding that.

OR

Niska: Because the chicken has reputation, wanted no more gossip, and the road is solid.

Lame, I know. ;)

I am evil, I am sly, and if you get eaten no one will cry.

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Thursday, February 1, 2007 9:07 PM

Chicken: Cuz Saffron told me: "All you gotta do to be a rich chick, hon, is get over it."

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Thursday, February 1, 2007 9:28 PM

Ok, last one for today. :)

Chicken: Sometimes I think I crossed the road just so I could see what the hell everyone was joking about.

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Friday, February 2, 2007 6:44 AM

BR0WNCOATRISING

Quote:
Originally posted by dog13000:
Couldn't you have waited ONE more day to quote me?!?!

Then it would have been exactly one year. *sigh*

But it was all funny...and articulate!

---------------------------
thanks for the reenactment, sir.

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Friday, February 2, 2007 7:20 AM

FISKMASEN

I'm not worthy, still, will try.

Mal: Okay. She won't be winning any beauty contests anytime soon. But she is solid. Road like this, you can cross 'til the day you die.
Zoe: 'Cause it's a deathtrap.

"My cartridge fell out of my gun..." - Nathan Fillion

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Friday, October 19, 2007 3:33 AM

BULLET0IN0THE0BRAINPAN0SQUISH

I'm thinking many new folks haven't seen this hilarious thread yet. So, lemme bump it a mite. So, why did the chicken cross the road?

Chicken: All of you! You think I crossed that dangerous road? A road people use?! Well, there ain't chickens like that. There's just chicken folks like me.

Wash: No. Actually, I was wondering... WHAT'S IT DOING ON THE ROAD?

Chicken: First rule of battle, little one: don't ever let them know where you are!

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Friday, October 19, 2007 4:48 AM

ADAMWANKENOBI

Badger: Not my concern, love.

Niska: It wished to avoid... torture.

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Friday, October 19, 2007 4:57 AM

this thread is so shiny! I might have to change my innards because this one is too damaged from laughing so much!

ok, contributing:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because Jayne asked it "You wanna go little chicken?"

And Wash was on the other side of the road with a candlelight.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I don't know what I'm saying. I never know what I'm saying.... -River Tam, Serenity (2005)

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Friday, October 19, 2007 4:58 AM

Unbelievably funny!
Wash: Can we vote on the whole crossing the road thing?

From one thing, learn ten thousand things.

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Friday, October 19, 2007 4:58 AM

Unbelievably funny!
Wash: Can we vote on the whole crossing the road thing?

From one thing, learn ten thousand things.

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Friday, October 19, 2007 5:06 AM

PACHELBEL

Book: I don't give half a hump why it crossed the road.

Mal: Every chicken crosses alone.

Jayne: Chicken's a mind-readin' genius, but it still can't figure out how to eat a ice planet.

Reaver: Humans ... they taste like chicken.

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Friday, October 19, 2007 6:15 AM

NEWBROWNCOAT

Saffron : It was the night of their betrothal and she was to open herself to her hubby-chicken on the other side of the road, as the furrow to the plough.

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Friday, October 19, 2007 6:26 AM

CRAZYMOONBRAIN

Awesome response Mr. Cannon in D :) I LOVE the different character's answers.

I maybe crazy, but I can still kill you with my brain.....

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Friday, October 19, 2007 7:42 AM

SIMONIZED

I thought this one was obvious. Maybe that's why no one posted it:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Joss: to get the Big Damn Movie deal!

or

Joss: to get away from the FOX!

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Friday, October 19, 2007 1:11 PM

Sorry for the double post earlier (keyboards actin' up). I just love this thread so...
Chicken looking at Nandi: Am i gettin' any prettier?
Nandi: No, cross the road.
Wash watching chicken cross the road: Oh God! Oh God!
Chicken after reading all the replies: This must be what going mad feels like.

From one thing, learn ten thousand things.

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Friday, October 19, 2007 1:33 PM

GORRAMGROUPIE

JAYNE: Ten percent of chicken is -- let me do the math here -- chicken into egg, carry the --

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Friday, October 19, 2007 2:31 PM

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Wash: Cross the-- Right! Because teenage pranks are fun when you're about to die!

Chicken: You all gonna be here when I get to the other side?

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Friday, October 19, 2007 3:05 PM

RIVERFLAN

Chicken quotes:

River- She understands. She doesn't comprehend
*afte being told not to touch Jayne's chickens.

Mal- All right everyone, we're having a little problem with our main crossing sequence so we might have a little heat and then... fry.

Wash- Every man there go back inside or we will pluck a new feather from this little chicken.

Mal- Did the chicken fall off my ship for no apparent reason? I told Kaylee to check the oven, and she said it would bake for another two weeks!

Kaylee- That was six monthes ago Cap'n, the wings are all burnt.

Zoe- River, honey... The chicken's putting away its feathers now...

Mal- And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic chicken community.

Wash- Oh my god! What can it be? We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing?... Oh right, that would be the chicken. CHICKEN! Back to work!

Mal- And don't cross any more roads; just stay on the corner of No and Where.

Simon- I'm very sorry if River tipped off anyone about your cunningly concealed flock of chickens.

Mal-String up those chickens & tie them to the nose of the ship. Put the rooster front & center, he's our friend, we should honour him. Kaylee, go find that chick taking a dirt nap with baby Jesus, we need a hood ornament. Jayne! Try not to steal too much of their wings!

Nadi- If they've got guns or brains at all.
Inara- They've got chickens.

*Jayne- Sure wish we had some CHICKENS right about now, don't you think?!

*Mal- Dear Buddah: Please bring me a pony, a plastic rocket, and a chicken.

~~*~~*~~*~~
Lightbulb quotes:

River- They weren't lightbulbs inside the box. Now they see ceilings and remember what they are.

Mal- Yeah, but it's our lightbulb, so screw it the hell down!

River- A light bulb can be drained of electricity in 8.6 seconds, gven adequate conductors.

Zoe- Captain'll come up with a lightbulb.

River- The lightbulb's broken. Doesn't make sense.

Mal- Dear Buddah, please bring me a pony, and a plastic rocket, and a ligtbulb.

River- So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution thoery with Thomas Edison's's creation of the lightbulb.

Simon- I can't keep track of her when she's NOT incorporeally possessing a lightbulb.

Mal- Wash, we got some local light happin'... a grand entrance would not go amiss..

River- Little bulb, big room... Many bulbs.
~~~*~~*~~*~~~

That's all I could think of. Hope the list isn't too long, and that it's funny. The bottom two chicken quotes, with the stars? Those I thought were fairly obvious. Sorry if I repeated quotes.

And, I'm going to paraphase a really good joke a little:

How many Jaynes does it take to put in a lightbulb?
Two: One to try to put it in, one to find a bigger gun, and Kaylee to put it in right

@)~*~*~*$~*~*~*)~(*~*~*~$*~*~*~(@
Remember to vote!
http://www.richlabonte.net/tvvote/index.html
$)~*~*)~(*~*~($
My favorite quotes:

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Friday, October 19, 2007 9:13 PM

SUZFROMOZ

Very funny guys

www.solarflarecreations.com.au

My Blog http://suzanne-catching-up.blogspot.com/

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Friday, October 19, 2007 10:30 PM

Ok, so why did the chicken cross the road?

Teacher: We're not telling chickens to cross the road... we're just trying to show them how.

Road: Haven't you crossed me enough?

River: Little chicken, big road. Many cars.

Mal: Tactics, woman!

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Saturday, October 20, 2007 1:54 AM

BULLET0IN0THE0BRAINPAN0SQUISH

Love it so much i almost peed my pants! Haha! :)

From one thing, learn ten thousand things.

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Sunday, October 21, 2007 10:12 PM

everybody needs a laugh.^^ Let's bump this up!^^

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I don't know what I'm saying. I never know what I'm saying.... -River Tam, Serenity (2005)

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Monday, October 22, 2007 5:54 AM

Love this so i'm bumping. ;)

From one thing, learn ten thousand things.

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Saturday, August 2, 2008 3:21 AM

SPACEANJL

*Bumping* Because this is hi-larious.

Chicken humour...

Zoe stalks quietly towards the kitchen cupboard. None of them are exactly house-proud, you might say, but there is definitely a distressing Smell. Either some of the more elderly stores have finally attained sentience, or...

“Gaah!” Spitting noise. “Isnae proper grub.”

“Deep-fry it an’ cover it wi’ curry sauce, man.”

She flings open the door. There is a moment of confusion, then a blur of movement.

The last piece of fresh food they have, a chicken, pauses in its progress towards the door.

“Er...cluck?” It tries, hopefully.

All the things she ever thought to see in the ‘Verse, herself chasing a (plucked) chicken down the corridor ain’t even on the list.

(source: Feegles on a Firefly)

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Monday, August 4, 2008 11:21 AM

DONCOAT

** Why did the chicken cross the road? **

Dr. Caron: It was the Pax.

Simon: Eta Kooram Nah Smech!

River (watching the chicken): It's all right. It's all right. (Runs toward the road) My turn!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm pointin' right at it!

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Monday, August 4, 2008 12:00 PM

Very good. Now for my answer
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Because that's where the fun is...

http://swyzzlestyx.com/index.html

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Monday, August 4, 2008 1:23 PM

JAYNESMANE

Hah! Wow! I love things like this. Was this a forum game or was it just something someone posted? Either way I'll have to try something like this for some of my other favorite shows.

Thanks for posting. Got a good laugh out of me.

---
http://www.freewebs.com/optics233/index.htm - my website - learn how to make money online filling out surveys.

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Thursday, March 5, 2009 10:18 AM

I'm thinking this thread is too pretty for God to let it die! :) So, why did the chicken cross the road? Here's a few more (hey, I'm trying! It gets kinda hard after so many good entries here).

NISKA: I think many people know the chicken. Many know he crossed the road. They must know what happens after that.

JAYNE: Was it gold?

DORALEE: Life sometimes takes you places you weren't expectin' to go.

CHICKEN: What road?
KAYLEE: I'm pointin' right at it!

ECHO: Did it sleepwalk again?

FOX EXEC: Because we cancelled its side of the road.

BOOK: "Chicken" is a purely figurative title, you know.

OPERATIVE: Pride.

RIVER: Because it's there.

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Thursday, March 5, 2009 10:54 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Chicken:

Lt Womack: Wearin' lighter fluid ain't no reason to run from my lighter. Maybe it's afraid? Chicken - get it?

Jubal Early: That's no chicken. Is it really a road, if crossed perpendicular? Does it grapple? Yep, here I am.

Tracey: Transporting amped up contraband. It's not my fault, chicken sneakin' across so I couldn't hear it. But I got it's beans.

Hands of Blue: We didn't travel across the Verse to inquire about a chicken.

Commander Harken: Same old story, blaming everything on Reavers. Not a chick, adult chicken.

Inara: Perhaps that is where it most needs to be.

River: Little filament, big voltage. Didn't know it was light unitl it went out. On off on off, never broken until now, end of life.

Screw in a light bulb:

Reaver: Grrr. Argh. ZZZZZAAT!

River: Jubal, you can come inside here with me to grapple, screw in the light bulb. You can have me.

Kaylee: Can't. Once it's dark, can't move.

Bester: Just me and this prairie harpie. But it'll take a week, waiting for the transducer to make the bulb work.

Wash: I screwed in a light bulb, many times. Well, just once. OK, I watched somebody change a light bulb. Alright, they just broke it, really.

River: Rooster went crazy, killing all the chickens, this one got away, now her voice went away too. 4,236 pebbles on the road on this crossing, slow enough to count. Feathers are ruffled.

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Thursday, March 5, 2009 11:03 PM

SHINYGOODGUY

I'm really feeling these:

River: To get to the other side.

Jubal: What did you say? Am I a road?

The Operative: The chicken’s motivations are not my concern. Getting it across the road is.

Brilliant! LMAO!
----------------------------------------------

Allow me:

Monty: To get away from that devil woman!

Jayne: I have a question...Why would the chicken cross the road?

Jubal: Because she knew it was best to come with ol' Early.

Eh, kinda weak.....

SGG

Tawabawho?

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Friday, March 6, 2009 9:46 PM

ANOTHERSKY

Quote:

How many Josses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. He gets a beautiful young girl to do it with her super powers.

...that come with her feet. Couldn't resist. ha.

More why chicken psychology, since we've devolved to quotes-out-of-context:

Mal: I can NOT know that!
Inara: It fell, jus' fell, that's all. Just fell across the road, hurt its head like Wash.
Wash: Just to see the stars.
Zoe: First rule of battle, little one: never let them know where you are.
Jayne: Six men came to kill it one time.
Kaylee: Fell right outta the sky.
Simon: It was a code.
River: Skipped off home early.
Book: I'm still collating data.

Gotta think of one single speaking part in the verse we ain't covered yet...anybody do the nurse in Safe? Probably...

Going for a ride.

Another Sky

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Friday, March 6, 2009 9:48 PM

ANOTHERSKY

Quote:
Originally posted by asarian:
Ok, so why did the chicken cross the road?

Teacher: We're not telling chickens to cross the road... we're just trying to show them how.

Road: Haven't you crossed me enough?

River: Little chicken, big road. Many cars.

Mal: Tactics, woman!

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

Awesome. This gets better and better.

Going for a ride.

another sky

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Friday, March 6, 2009 11:01 PM

[quote=Ayrad]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0303461/board/thread/35197089

***Why did the chicken cross the road?***

Mal: Because the other side of the road was the only place it could live life on its own terms, without being meddled with.

Zoë: Because that’s where the job was, Sir.

Wash: It followed a really hot girl chicken that could kill it with its pinky. Do chickens have pinkies? No? We’ll I don’t know then.

Jayne: The money was better over there. (mutters) Lousy seven percent...

Kaylee: To meet shiny new chickens and see the sights.

Simon: That’s where the Alliance was hiding its sister.

River: To get to the other side.

Inara: It just suddenly, for no apparent reason, decided to pick up and abandon the luxurious life it had on this side of the road. That’s not odd, is it?

Book: It was a pilgrimage. Wracked with guilt over the atrocities it had committed, the chicken decided to devote the remainder of its life to God in a desperate search for redemption. Just a guess.

Jubal: What did you say? Am I a road?

YoSafBrige: Because you were over there, sweetie.

The Operative: The chicken’s motivations are not my concern. Getting it across the road is.

--------
Thought it was nice to share...

AB AMORE NON RECEDAM
www.cthomashowell.net

Badger: 'Cause this is my gorram side of the road.

If somebody else said this line or something similar I missed it. The originals were all great except the Yosafbridge. The Yosafbridge quote was good, but I think it could be better, only I am not sure how.

Yosafbridge: To get a better hand of cards.

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Saturday, March 7, 2009 2:16 AM

Mal: Maybe he won the Miss Persephone pageant.

Zoe: So the Reavers wouldn't rape it to death, eat its flesh, and then sew its flesh into their clothing.

Wash: To find out if there really was another side or if it were just a myth.

Jayne: Maybe for a reward.

Kaylee: Figures, first time on the Core, and where does it go? To the other side of the road. Couldn't it have gone shoppin' at the Tri-plex, or... Ooh! Synchronizers!

Simon: To get further away from the alliance with its sister as possible.

River: To look out after her brother.

Inara: Maybe because so few sides of the road are a mystery.

Yosafbrige: Maybe because its cards were better over there.

Badger :'Cause this is my gorram side of the road.

Book: Because it's not where you go, but rather how you get there.

Jubal: If there ain's no chicken crossing is it still a road? Don't seem right, does it?

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Saturday, March 7, 2009 5:25 AM

BADGERSVERYFINEHAT

Ah poultry based humour, fantastic. one of the best threads i've ever seen on here.

Chicken: Am I a chicken? I dont think of myself as a chicken. I might as well though - I have a mighty cluck.

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Saturday, March 7, 2009 6:22 AM

Okay, a few more for the, erm, road. :)

MAL (to River): Do you know why the chicken crossed the road? Well, I suppose you do, since you already know what I'm about to say...

MAL: Half of walking history is crossing the road.

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Saturday, March 7, 2009 11:56 AM

Nice Asarian.

Mal: I had no cause to stop it.

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Saturday, March 7, 2009 1:54 PM

BADGERSVERYFINEHAT

Fanty/Mingo: Do you know that chicken?
Mal: I surely dont.

Mal: We're comin down to empty that vault.
Guard: You have to show me your authorisation chicken.
CLUCK-CLUCK-CLUCK-CLUCK-CLUCK-CLUCK-CLUCK
Guard: .....OK

Jayne: Boy sure would be nice if we had some chickens, dont ya think?!?!?!?!

Tracey: This chicken aint worth it, not our lives.

Simon: This may come as a shock but i'm not that good at talkin to chickens.

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Saturday, March 7, 2009 3:10 PM

Mr. Universe: You can't stop the chicken.

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [leading the Reaver fleet straight into the Alliance's, and caught in the middle, trying to get to Mr. Universe] The chicken's come home to roost.

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Saturday, March 7, 2009 3:11 PM

Keep 'em coming, Rallem. :)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

EARLY: If the chicken crosses the road, is not the side it came from the other side?

CHICKEN: I thought maybe you could use a gun hand?

BOOK: To reach the end of the line.

SAFFRON: You're assuming crossing the road is the point.

JAYNE: That there, exactly the kind of diversion we could've used.

CHICKEN: I'm not on the road. I'm in the road. I am the road. ...Chicken's gone.

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Saturday, March 7, 2009 3:17 PM

Very good Asarian, and I especially liked your Saffron answer.

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Saturday, March 7, 2009 3:44 PM

Mal: "Well, look at this! Appears he got to the other side just in the nick of time. Whaddya suppose that makes him?"

Zoe: "Big damn hero, sir."

Mal: "Ain't he just!"

River: "We'll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon. Only way a chicken can cross the road."

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Sunday, March 8, 2009 2:50 AM

CUDA77

Like woman, I am a mystery.

Mal: Y'all were watching I take it?

Kaylee: Yes...

Mal: Did you see it cross?

Kaylee: No.

Mal: TRAP!

And one lightbulb one:

-How many Kaylee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-Two, one to replace the broken one, one because now the first can't get back down.

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Sunday, March 8, 2009 4:50 AM

Jayne: 'Cause it wanted to dress itself up and get taken out somewhere fun.

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Saturday, October 24, 2009 1:51 PM

A new installment in the neverending thread; Dollhouse style, tonight! So, why did the chicken cross the road?

CHICKEN: Did I cross the road?
TOPHER: For a little while.

TOPHER: You see a chicken cross the road, the first thing you gotta ask is 'Is it running to something or is it running from something?' The answer is always both.

ADELLE: Everything you want, everything you need, she will cross. Honestly, and completely.

ECHO: The chicken is crossing your road. Do you know what that means? It means God brought it there. He has a message for you. That message is... MOVE YOUR ASS!

DR. SAUNDERS: Its entire existence was constructed by a sociopath in a sweater vest, what do you suggest it do?

DOMINIC: Don't think of them as chickens, think of them as pets.

ROAD: There is no me. I'm just a container.

DOMINIC: You crossed a good road, ma'am.
CHICKEN: I crossed a bad road very well. There's a distinction.
DOMINIC: Of course.

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Sunday, October 25, 2009 1:27 PM

FLORALBUNNY

LOL asarian.
It crossed the road in order to be its best

bun

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Sunday, October 25, 2009 2:17 PM