CAPTION TIGHTPANTS RISE AGAIN #19 by TenthCrewMember

*Download my Firefly Games for FREE at
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=13&t=12622
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In or near Ohio? Join us!
http://p097.ezboard.com/bohiofireflyfans
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 8:45 AM

DEBBIE

Congrads Veteran! Glad your back TCM!

Joss: The Bathroom oh it's that way.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 9:13 AM

PDCHARLES

What happened? He see your face?

Gratz Vet, I loved that one! Glad u r in your new digs TCM.

Joss: Needless to say, Ron was less than happy by the fans misinterpretation of the words "Book Signing".

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 9:54 AM

DAVESHAYNE

Alright so you kick in the door and are confronted by three Efreeti. Roll for initiative.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 12:32 PM

Joss: OK, quietly as you can. Spread the word to the rest of the room. That guy over there; [gestures with thumb], he's the Fox executive most responsible for cancelling Firefly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com/

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 12:46 PM

RYCE

Joss: Of all the things here to auction, why did my beard have to go first?

No power in the 'verse can stop me!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 1:12 PM

SAB39

Few people realize that the Firefly slang term 'shiny' was first coined inadvertently when Jewel couldn't take her eyes off Joss's forehead.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 1:59 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

JOSS: Y'know, you can't buy an invite to the Serenity II premier with a
diamond the size of a testicle, but I have my hands on a couple.
FANBOYS/GIRLS(OS): *awkward silence*
JOSS: What?

BWAH!

TCM

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 2:48 PM

GRAYALBATROSS

JOSS: So it turns out that Nathan is a very persuasive political speaker. With the full support of Congress, we were able to completely take over the FOX network and turn it into the Browncoat network! It was quite simple, really.

***
When in doubt, consult the hamster.

Also, I can kill you with my brain

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 3:30 PM

ASARIAN

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Congrats, Veteran! :) And now, an entry:

Joss (hinting to the man on his right): "See? even Dr. McCoy likes my boat better."

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 7:50 PM

CHOO1701

Congrats Vetern. Good to see ya back 10CM. No on with Jossy Washy_

Joss: go on....pull my finger.

and

joss: *sigh* yes you CAN save the crew in the next movie
Summer (os): thank you! Also, can i fly the ship??

and

Next Week on Fox: When Fan shrines go bad!

-----------------------------

TRAIN!!!
Remember: When introducing Zoe to your shiny new ship, pay attention to where she's pointing when she says "What is that?" That's where you're going to be laying, bleeding someday.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 12:28 AM

DEBBIE

Joss: And you wan't me to shave my what?

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 1:59 PM

Joss (holding on to a length of rope): And this is the actual Llama from the Serenity cover.

Llama (OS): Hooock, P'Twee!

Joss wipes llama spit off his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com/

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 2:05 PM

BROWNCOATSANDINISTA

Joss doing his "Mal v. the Pillar" impression, with commentary.

"I'm not going to say Serenity is the greatest SciFi movie ever; oh wait yes I am." - Orson Scott Card

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 2:42 PM

PUMAMANREDUX

"This is how you do the Macarena"

********************************
'You leave Earth and anything you forget to bring with you will kill you. Anything you do bring with you which doesn't work properly will kill you. When in doubt, just assume *everything* will kill you.' Nathan Spring, Star Cops

**************
http://www.freewebs.com/mjspages/tempfireflypage.htm

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 8:14 PM

Congratulations, Veteran. Good show!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Been nowhere, done nothing. See the shirt?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
or:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JOSS: We were going to have the Firefly cast
do something for free, but gas-pumping was taken
and Jayne was the only one with suggestions...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bun
~Bastards singed my turtle~
~We aim to exponentiate~
~Who is Bill Pardy?~

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, April 5, 2007 3:38 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

JOSS: So, Alan, I was thinking we'd kill Wash off with a big skewer in the belly *makes thrusting motion* like this...whaddya think?
ALAN *passes out* *THUD!*
JOSS: I think he likes the idea! Now, Ron, I have this idea for Book...Ron? RON?

BWAH!

TCM

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, April 5, 2007 6:08 PM

JOSS: Nothing's new; it's recombined in different ways...
CON-GOER (OS): Is that why Book's death reminds me so much of Jimmy Durante's in "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World?"
JOSS: Precisely, but you'll wait forever for Book to kick a bucket.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bun
~Bastards singed my turtle~
~We aim to exponentiate~
~Who is Bill Pardy?~

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, April 6, 2007 3:25 PM

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Every now and again I come up with something. Thanks everyone.

Joss: "Sorry we've only got T-shirts. The kilts are two booths down."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, April 6, 2007 4:24 PM

JOSS (in an unidentifiable accent):
"You'd gotten here sooner you might've beaten
the bulletin that came up sayin' "Rogue vessel,
classification Firefly, was spotted pullin'
illegal salvage on a derelict transport."

bun
~Bastards singed my turtle~
~We aim to exponentiate~
~Who is Bill Pardy?~

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, April 7, 2007 11:52 AM

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Quote:
FloralBunny wrote:
Thursday, April 05, 2007 18:08
JOSS: Nothing's new; it's recombined in different ways...
CON-GOER (OS): Is that why Book's death reminds me so much of Jimmy Durante's in "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World?"
JOSS: Precisely, but you'll wait forever for Book to kick a bucket.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's all recombined. You're cracking me up.

Joss: "Well my fist step in writing a scirpt is traveling to this beach in Bermuda, where I can find the interconnectedness of all things..."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, April 7, 2007 12:42 PM

Joss: And in this hand I'm holding a fully life size replica of a Fox executives brain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com/

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, April 7, 2007 1:21 PM

Well done, Veteran and Cap.Coupi!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whispering: Veteran, I suppose I've committed
sacrilege with that caption, but it's the first
thing that came to mind during that scene AFTER
the realization that Joss was offing Book before
we got his story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*rummaging* Let's see what's in here...that hand
is so -- um -- handy...

"I'm going to boil it. Jayne -- give me the sticky."

bun
happy ether

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, April 7, 2007 4:21 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Quote:
Originally posted by FloralBunny:
[...]the realization that Joss was offing Book before we got his story.

Actually, as I see it, Book was offed because we got his story. Just not his personal one. It would seem, again to me, that Book was an Operative who lost belief in the Alliance, and replaced it with belief in God. Anyway, back to Caption Josspants...

JOSS: There is nothing that SERENITY can't make better!
GUY(OS): I think I'm getting airsick.
JOSS: Except that.

it's a Buffy ref, but I may have bungled it

BWAH!

TCM

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, April 7, 2007 4:50 PM

TCM wrote:
it's a Buffy ref, but I may have bungled it

...which makes you a classic Batman adversary:
THE BUNGLER!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
okay -- to business! *rummage, rummage, toss*

"Did you get my message? I was extra appealing."
(Not a Buffy ref., BTW)

bun
happy ether

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, April 8, 2007 5:48 AM

RYCE

Joss: What happened to my soupcatcher?!? How drunk was I last night?

No power in the 'verse can stop me!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, April 8, 2007 6:37 AM

REAVERINA1985RIVIERA

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

After the Browncoats storm the F*X corporate headquarters and deliver the gorram idjit, Joss promtly gave him the mother of all purple nurples for cancelling his show.

---------------------------------------------
How many Jaynes does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to try to put it in and another to find a bigger hammer.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, April 8, 2007 8:17 AM

PUMAMANREDUX

(Joss) "Sure, if Lucas calls me wanting help to revamp Star Wars, I'm there. First thing I would do is to give Jar Jar Binks ... but that would be telling"

********************************
'You leave Earth and anything you forget to bring with you will kill you. Anything you do bring with you which doesn't work properly will kill you. When in doubt, just assume *everything* will kill you.' Nathan Spring, Star Cops

**************
http://www.freewebs.com/mjspages/tempfireflypage.htm

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, April 8, 2007 9:11 AM

GRAYALBATROSS

JOSS: I has a boomerang!

***
When in doubt, consult the hamster.

Also, I can kill you with my brain

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, April 8, 2007 12:07 PM

MAZAEN

Fan: How many times have you juggled geese?

Joss: Counting.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, April 8, 2007 2:43 PM

JOSS (Indicating the Stuff which surrounds him):
We just came from a big salvage mission off
Ita Moon...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JOSS: And what? Wave my arms around?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JOSS: You'll be a lot thinner once you get sucked
out that hole.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bun
hoppy ether!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, April 8, 2007 5:13 PM

PUMAMANREDUX

(Joss) "wanna see my invisible hamster?"

********************************
'You leave Earth and anything you forget to bring with you will kill you. Anything you do bring with you which doesn't work properly will kill you. When in doubt, just assume *everything* will kill you.' Nathan Spring, Star Cops

**************
http://www.freewebs.com/mjspages/tempfireflypage.htm

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, April 8, 2007 7:52 PM

JOSS: Have you got time to do my hair?
INARA: Out!

bun
etherically happy

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 9, 2007 11:06 AM

GRAYALBATROSS

That's priceless!

*********
Customer: I don't know. They looks pretty scrawny to me...

Joss: Nonsense. Fed hay and milk twice a day by beautiful ladies. (points to bald dude)

***
When in doubt, consult the hamster.

Also, I can kill you with my brain

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 9, 2007 1:40 PM

BROWNCOATSANDINISTA

"But our end is forty precious."

"I'm not going to say Serenity is the greatest SciFi movie ever; oh wait yes I am." - Orson Scott Card

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 9, 2007 5:13 PM

GrayAlbatross wrote in part:
Joss: Nonsense. Fed hay and milk twice a day by beautiful ladies. (points to bald dude)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Must have been something to see!!
Love it.

JOSS: I haven't had a client in three weeks.
Backwater moons, slums, frontier planets without
so much as a temple built...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BCS, is that Fanty or Mingo?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JOSS: I'm a traditionalist. I'm thinking about
growing a big, black moustache.

bun
~Bastards singed my turtle~
~We aim to exponentiate~
~Who is Bill Pardy?~

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 9, 2007 6:43 PM

TRUEBLUE

Joss:"... and (chuckles) then we got the Fox Execs' soft bits, the 3 paperclips, super-glue and the rabid hamster and we..."

---------
I will think of a signature later. It will be so stunningly brilliant your entire life will pale into insignificance when compared to the few words that will be written here.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 9, 2007 7:44 PM

SIMON (OS): Try not to speak. You're heavily medicated and you've lost a lot of blood.

bun

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 12:31 PM

Joss: ..and the Reaver was just going to poke him with a stick, like this; but the prop guys got the scale of the stick all wrong and Alan spent the next three weeks in hospital and we had to write Wash out of the rest of the film.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com/

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 2:58 PM

LOL, CaptainCoupi. Scale can be a problem. Think
"Stonehenge!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JOSS: Send a team. Bring him here to me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bun

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 6:20 PM

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Reporter: "What did you think when FOX asked you to can the pilot and use Train Job instead?

Joss (rolling marbles in his hand): "That's when I first knew they were all against me....."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 6:38 PM

JPSTARGAZER

Joss: "Yeah, I've got some t-shirts, books, and comics behind me, but for $20 you can go over there to the Morena Baccarin Kissing Booth."
Morena (OS): "Huh?"

OR

Joss: "...and he can climb buildings and shoot webs from his wrists, like this, it's really a great movie...wait, what was the question again?"

OR

Joss: "Sometimes you just have to find unique ways to motivate your actors. One day, Alan just couldn't get his lines down, so I gave him an uppercut to the stomach. Let's just say his nickname on set after that was 'One-Take Wash'."

"All I got is a red guitar, three chords, and the truth...the rest is up to you"
--Bono

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 6:58 PM

BIONICBATMAN

[IMG]

[/IMG]

JOSS: I can go out on a school night *snaps thumb* just like that!

-----------------------------------
MAL: I have given Jayne the opportuntiy to get that information.
JAYNE: He wasnt specific as to how. *pulls out knife*
MAL: No Jayne. No pain, only scare him.
JAYNE: Pain is scary.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 2:54 PM

Veteran wrote in part:
Joss (rolling marbles in his hand): "That's when I first knew they were all against me....."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yesssssssss!!! This means you'll appreciate a gift
I made to a literate friend when he received his
first commission. It was a pair of genuine WW2
USN ball bearings in a fancy little box I'd made.

JOSS: If I didn't know better I'd think we were
dangerous.

bun on the run

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 3:39 PM

Don't squat with your spurs on.

We are dangerous... an too pretty to die.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 4:04 PM

RYCE

Joss: C'mon lucky number 7! *to bald guy* here, blow on these

No power in the 'verse can stop me!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 7:24 PM

REAVERINA1985RIVIERA

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
"

Fan(os): HMMM...Clean-shaven. So, Joss, who's the devil-woman?

---------------------------------------------
How many Jaynes does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to try to put it in and another to find a bigger hammer.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 11:08 PM

WALRUS

Joss: And now before your very eyes, I shall open my hand and that embarrassing scene with the strawberry is gon.... Oh shit... Errrmmmm... Sorry Jewel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

www.myspace.com/the_REAL_walrus

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, April 12, 2007 6:54 PM

JOSS: I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under
such heavy sedation.

bun on the run

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, April 14, 2007 8:38 PM