Imponderable Watercooler: Moodyrings for all! by nvghostrider

q?

Woooooooooooooooooooooooo!

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Monday, July 9, 2007 8:32 AM

DEEPGIRL187

One of these days, I will get firsties.

How is everyone? I hope it's not as damn hot as it is here.

*****************************************************

"Right! Because teenage pranks are fun when you're about to die!"

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Monday, July 9, 2007 8:38 AM

RUGBUG

Hi all. I feel like I'm nursing a serious hangover without the fun of the alcohol consumption. Eesh.

So, it was quiet in imponderable land this weekend. Made for nice catch-up but not so much Monday morning fun. Oh well. I've really got nothing to liven the place up except big hugs for all who desire.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Monday, July 9, 2007 8:40 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by deepgirl187:
One of these days, I will get firsties.

How is everyone? I hope it's not as damn hot as it is here.

I think a cat stepped on fly's keyboard. Since there was nothing intelligible in there I'd say you win firsties.

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Monday, July 9, 2007 8:48 AM

Got the gorram swamp cooler running and the pygmies are much happier. We had a house full of kids last night and if'n the cooler wasn't running we would have had some serious trouble.

LIBERTAS SUMPTUS

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Monday, July 9, 2007 9:04 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
Quote:
Originally posted by deepgirl187:
One of these days, I will get firsties.

How is everyone? I hope it's not as damn hot as it is here.

I think a cat stepped on fly's keyboard. Since there was nothing intelligible in there I'd say you win firsties.

"intelligible" is not a prerequisite to firsties. Or for that matter to any posts.

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Monday, July 9, 2007 9:09 AM

Which is why I post so very much.

LIBERTAS SUMPTUS

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Monday, July 9, 2007 9:17 AM

MSG

Hey all...beach is good. No sunburn yet (knock on wood) since everyone's either shopping for food or napping I grabbed 5 minutes to say hi..

NV- glad you got the cooler running wouldn't want boiled kids.

HUGS to all ( as I have no idea when I will get back on) I miss you all and will have loads of pics and things to tell you when I get back:)

"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

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Monday, July 9, 2007 9:22 AM

Yay for MSG and her vacation-y goodness!
Hugs back ma'am.

LIBERTAS SUMPTUS

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Monday, July 9, 2007 9:27 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
Hey all...beach is good. No sunburn yet (knock on wood) since everyone's either shopping for food or napping I grabbed 5 minutes to say hi..

NV- glad you got the cooler running wouldn't want boiled kids.

HUGS to all ( as I have no idea when I will get back on) I miss you all and will have loads of pics and things to tell you when I get back:)

"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

MSG!! *hugs*

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Monday, July 9, 2007 9:30 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by FlyVote:
Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
Quote:
Originally posted by deepgirl187:
One of these days, I will get firsties.

How is everyone? I hope it's not as damn hot as it is here.

I think a cat stepped on fly's keyboard. Since there was nothing intelligible in there I'd say you win firsties.
"intelligible" is not a prerequisite to firsties. Or for that matter to any posts.

Cats are not allowed to get firsties. Firsties reserved from humans only. Zeek law.

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Monday, July 9, 2007 9:31 AM

MSG

HUGS hey guys:)

Beachy goodness abounds and we've even gotten Annie to walk in the shallows briefly ( when we first put her on a beach towel she whimpered for a while and then we forced her to walk on the sand for a bit and she sobbed, but she starting to get more comfy with it)

Oh it's fun, but I can't wait to get home and be able to be online a tone...

HUG and love...back to the beach:)

"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

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Monday, July 9, 2007 11:18 AM

Yay for beachy goodness MSG.

So I know there is alot of romantic forms of cuddling out there. But how many folks can say they snuggle with their partner while scratching/rubbing their mosquito bites while they rub the stiffness out of paintball welts?

Well?

LIBERTAS SUMPTUS

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Monday, July 9, 2007 1:30 PM

TRAVELER

If mosquito bites and paintball welts require going outside I am afraid that will never happen to me.

Have "hazmet" suit will travel. I am guessing at the spelling of hazmet.

http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=28764731
Traveler

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Monday, July 9, 2007 1:41 PM

HAZMAT- Hazardous Material. But I know what yer talkin' about.

Heh. So get this. It hasn't really set in 'til now.

I'm the other man. I will be the other man until after certain legal proceedings. Sucks. I just wonder what other folks think of this.

LIBERTAS SUMPTUS

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 12:22 AM

Good morning all.

I'll read the posts in a bit.

This time tomorrow I will be graduating.

******************************

Now with letters after my name.
http://www.myspace.com/muddy_waters

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 1:46 AM

PENGUIN

Congratulations!

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 1:48 AM

PENGUIN

Double postie goodness!

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 3:15 AM

I'm off for a bit. I'm starving and I need food.

******************************

Now with letters after my name.
http://www.myspace.com/muddy_waters

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 4:48 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Heh. So get this. It hasn't really set in 'til now.

I'm the other man. I will be the other man until after certain legal proceedings. Sucks. I just wonder what other folks think of this.

You'll have to explain the situation a lot better, but right now I think that is bad news. Big time bad news. Cause if she's ok with having an "other man" once then she'll probably be ok with it once you're supposed to be the only man.

That is unless you're cool with a relationship like that.

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 6:04 AM

DEEPGIRL187

Yay Hobbleit!!!

I only wish I could say the same. Sadly am still many years from graduating.

I don't know NV, I'm not exactly an expert on the subject. I'm inclined to agree with Zeek, but I also believe that some relationships work in spite of circumstances like yours. I guess you'll have to wait and see. Sending many positive vibes your way regardless.

*****************************************************

"Right! Because teenage pranks are fun when you're about to die!"

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 6:43 AM

Hi, I'm back.

Are you all enjoying your day?

Mine's been boring. And I think I'm getting an ear infection.

******************************

Now with letters after my name.
http://www.myspace.com/muddy_waters

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 6:47 AM

Good morning folks.

So this "other man" thing is mostly a legal status. She is done with his complacency and lack of ambition. I really got a taste of sparks last night in Reno as we shopped after visiting with my aunt. Seems there is a bit of worry happening right now and sex isn't quite the order of the day. But she is still in my bed and holds me close every night. Sure "other" things would be nice. But this slight step back is actually helping to secure our previous bond as friends while keeping our man/woman bonds on an even keel.

LIBERTAS SUMPTUS

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 7:06 AM

RUGBUG

Hey all!

So, NVG, let me see if I can come up with something coherent. Some of this maybe wrong based on my faulty memory...

This is an old friend. One you've always talked about loving and one with whom it seemed like you should be with (from the way you talked). She, however, married someone else for whatever reason.

She has kidlets with another man...her husband.

He's in the military or some such that takes him away from her at times.

She recently experienced a violent crime while husband was away. (?)

She's come home, is seemingly ready to end marriage but hasn't taken any steps to do so.

The following is based on the above assumptions:

I would say being the other man in this situation isn't a good idea. Questions I would ask:

1. WHY were you never involved before?
2. Is she actually getting divorced or just talking about it?
3. Has she actually dealt with after effects of violent crime?

I would be wary that you are her support right now in a very needy time, but once that time is up, she will move on. She's emotionally fragile. That's not the best time to start something lasting. On the plus side, you do have a long history, so you're not just someone she picked out to make herself feel okay about men or make her feel safe.

You know the answers to the questions but I would warn: proceed with caution. Don't be the other man. She needs to get her life together without you fixing it for her. If she does this for herself, she will be stronger at the end of it. You can be there for her without rescuing her.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 7:48 AM

Thanks RugBug. Got a PM headed your way.

LIBERTAS SUMPTUS

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 7:48 AM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Hey all. Been away for the last little bit, and will probably be away more in the coming days. But I had a minute to stop by and say hi.

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Heh. So get this. It hasn't really set in 'til now.

I'm the other man. I will be the other man until after certain legal proceedings. Sucks. I just wonder what other folks think of this.

You'll have to explain the situation a lot better, but right now I think that is bad news. Big time bad news. Cause if she's ok with having an "other man" once then she'll probably be ok with it once you're supposed to be the only man.

That is unless you're cool with a relationship like that.

Man Zeek, I couldn't disagree more. I think RugBug could be correct about emotionally fragile states, etc, but I don't believe that any woman who starts up a new relationship while the old relationship is ending, or who leaves one person for another person, will eventually leave the new person for yet another person. I think it has way more to do with the relationship that's ending than with the woman herself. I got this same line from my ex -- he didn't think I could ever be faithful to anyone, though his definition of "faithful" extends a bit beyond mine -- while I was in the process of dumping his ass for another guy. That other guy turned out to be hubby, and we've been together 6 years now. I haven't fallen into any of the behaviors ex accused me of since being with hubby, because unlike with the ex, I'm happy with hubby.

I think there's a big difference between cheating on someone, and starting a new relationship with someone while the details of the end of the old relationship are being worked out. And I don't think it's fair to say that a woman who breaks up with a guy for another guy will eventually do it again. Men break up with their wives/girlfriends for other women all the time, but we don't tell women to be careful of these guys, or that they need to know they're getting into "a relationship like that". To paraphrase the movie French Kiss, 'you can spend your whole life trying to avoid being left for the other man/woman, but there's no relationship safe enough.' So I say, forget safe, just be wildly happy for as long as you can. If you get hurt you get hurt, you'll bounce back and be wildly happy again someday.

That said, I think RugBug brought up some good points, and it's worth knowing if you're the one she wants to build her life with, or if you're just the person she's turning to in a time of crises. Since I've already broken the cardinal rule and quoted a romantic comedy, I'll throw in another, from Say Anything: "Do you need somebody, or do you need *me*?" It's worth knowing, and the answer may well be a deal-breaker. But I don't think NVG's 'other man' status should be a deal-breaker -- I would have missed out on the best relationship of my life if hubby hadn't been willing to start out as the other man.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 8:02 AM

Well as I said I don't know what the actual situation is. It really depends on the status of the current relationship. Does the current guy know it's over? Or is this behind his back? Why is the current guy relationship over? How long has she had these feelings for NVG and was she mentally moving on before last relationship was already over or not? It all depends on the timeline. Which I don't know. I think we'd need her to explain.

It doesn't change that I think it's a very fine line to walk and you gotta be careful.

I also don't see where the male/female angle came from. I don't know why women wouldn't be told to watch out for a man who has an affair any more then men would be told that about women.

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 8:03 AM

CK, she seemed to have told me more last night than she was willing to say in the last week.

The main thing is that she is seking help for alot of other issues before we proceed much further. As she put it, we have reached a point of slow progress. Not in a bad way. She wants to be healthy enough to actually be with me. Of all the things she has said that may be the most profound. There is already a vision of having the kids together for family evenings. We had all of them over for Caydens (the baby) birthday and it seemed like the house was actually a home again.

These things are so priceless to me, a person who has trusted no one and has not felt at home for at least ten years.

And thanks for quoting one of the greatest John Cusak movies ever.

LIBERTAS SUMPTUS

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 8:57 AM

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

I jus' loves you west coast gals!

Although botha ya come from what I would term socially conservative backgrounds--ahem--you have a spark of non-conservative viewage. (Actually, with you Rugbug, it's more your choice of avatar that throws me

) And CK I know you're not the little girl you were meant to be. (That's okay, we like you the way you are now. I'm not the little girl I was meant to be either...boy. The boy I was meant to be.) But you know, upbringing doesn't wash out completely even with bleach.

Quote:
Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
I think there's a big difference between cheating on someone, and starting a new relationship with someone while the details of the end of the old relationship are being worked out.

As long as one sees the difference clearly. Sometime the "new" is the catalyst for a long-brewing demise to begin in earnest. Being a former "other guy" I feel I can speak with just a bit of authority here. If not accuracy...

Toni's (MsQ, for thems wot don't know) first husband was a dick. An abusive

. Then we met. Then we fell in love. Then we moved in together. Then we got married. This Saturday will be 18 years.

Sadly, it's like the Investment Companies' disclaimers meets Dr. Phil: "Past Performance Is Not A Guarantee Of Future Returns" vs. "Past Performance Is A Great Predictor Of Future Performance". Not for love nor money. We're talking hearts here not diamonds. I also advise caution, mixed with generous amounts of wild abandon. Happy endings like CK and me (er, not with each other I mean) may not represent what's really happening out IRL or even in your desert oasis, NVG. The second time you do anything in this life is easier than the first. Not saying there will be a second time, just that happy better be happy so there's no doubt.

Zeek, I think you're right in principle at least that if there's f**kin' around going on or in danger of going on, mens and womens ought to have the same fair warning. As to RL, mebbe guysy are just a little more apt to share the wealth; women tend to be more selective, even in their bad choices.

Everything else aside, NVG, this is for you:

And Hobbleit, this is for you:

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. - Walt Whitman

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 9:21 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyQuest:
And Hobbleit, this is for you:

aww thanks. It's nice and big

******************************

Now with letters after my name.
http://www.myspace.com/muddy_waters

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 9:24 AM

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

Quote:
Originally posted by hobbleit:
aww thanks. It's nice and big

I bet you say that to all the blokes.

What....?

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. - Walt Whitman

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 9:29 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyQuest:
Quote:
Originally posted by hobbleit:
aww thanks. It's nice and big

I bet you say that to all the blokes.

What....?

Oh, you do make me laugh

******************************

Now with letters after my name.
http://www.myspace.com/muddy_waters

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 9:32 AM

..and makes me blush. Yowsa!

So all the relationshippy stuff aside, I wanna cook dinner tonight. Any suggestions?

LIBERTAS SUMPTUS

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 9:35 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
..and makes me blush. Yowsa!

So all the relationshippy stuff aside, I wanna cook dinner tonight. Any suggestions?

Food.

*snort*

Romantic-y food? Likes/dislikes? I can help.

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 9:38 AM

Just dinner. 'Been stuck with fast food for two nights and it's getting to me.

I so rarely eat fast food. Two nights in a row is about like two months in a row.

LIBERTAS SUMPTUS

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 9:42 AM

Well, I'm off for the evening.

I need to start my preening for tomorrow. In other words I'm off to paint my nails.

If I'm not on tomorrow I'll see you all on thursday.

******************************

Now with letters after my name.
http://www.myspace.com/muddy_waters

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 9:43 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Just dinner. 'Been stuck with fast food for two nights and it's getting to me.

I so rarely eat fast food. Two nights in a row is about like two months in a row.

Chicken Dijon Fettuccine

1 lb boneless skinless chicken breast
salt
pepper
1/4 c. butter
1 1/2 pint cream
3 tbsp dijon mustard
2 tbsp chives
2 tbsp parsley
3 c. cooked fettuccine
1/4 c. grated Parmesan

Saute chicken cut in cubes, season with salt/pepper. Stir in cream, mustard. Bring to boil, reduce to simmer for 8-10 minutes until thick. Add herbs and toss with hot fettuccine. Top with Parmesan.

Now I'm hungry.

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 9:44 AM

RUGBUG

Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyQuest:
I jus' loves you west coast gals!

Although botha ya come from what I would term socially conservative backgrounds--ahem--you have a spark of non-conservative viewage. (Actually, with you Rugbug, it's more your choice of avatar that throws me )

Well, that's easily explained, but I'll actually leave it up to you to imagine why I identify with Saffron.

Hobbleit: I missed something. Was the previous declaration of done-ness just an unofficial one and now there is an official one? If so, Woohoo on the done-ness of what you've done (educational based, right? Thesis?). Being done is a good thing.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 9:49 AM

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Well, that's easily explained, but I'll actually leave it up to you to imagine why I identify with Saffron.

There's no scarier place in the 'Verse than my imagination. You might wanna rethink that. Ask anyone hereabouts.
*already squinting mind's eye to keep out unsolicited images*

Mmmmm, soliciting....

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. - Walt Whitman

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 8:31 PM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"

Hi there all - I have barely been around - but I am so happy for NVG!! I think you are her rock and will be for a long time to come Honey!! I understand about technically being the 'other man/woman' in my case I was falling for someone before his divorce was finalised... of course that ended in heartbreak - but it was not on account of me assisting him in any infidelity...

It sounds to me like she really wants this to work - and anyway - no woman would jeopardise a friendship for sex and nothing more - you are her rock, pure and simple - and the way you're going that's gonna last... I am so happy for you Honey!!

Now - where's the water - I am so thirsty!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://www.myspace.com/lady_magdalena
http:/www.crazypurplewombat.blogspot.com
Recently crowned QUEEN JAYNE WORSHIPPER by FMF!

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007 1:22 AM

MAVOURNEEN

Hi there Magda!

Reposted from the Bar, for those of the Cooler persuasion.

I are employed.

I will be starting Monday as the Sales Assistant to a Mechanical Engineer. He plans the HVAC systems for new buildings, and I do everything else. Basically, I got the job because it is exactly what I was doing for the furniture farm. I just have to take "Italian Leather Couch" out of my brain and replace it with "Trane Air Conditioning Unit" costing $100K.
Luckily, I did not get to the point where I had to accept a job that paid less money than I was previously making.
And...I get to go pee in a cup today. Huzzah!

Thanks to everyone for their amazing support over the last month. I truly, truly appreciate the support both in the threads, and in my inbox.

As of Monday, my posting ability will be severely curtailed, at least for the time being. In general, starting a new job and farting around on the Interwebs don't go together. But my inbox is open 24/7. *hugs to you all*

------------------------------------------------

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007 2:53 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Mavourneen:
I are employed.

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007 3:17 AM

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

Quote:
Originally posted by Mavourneen:
I are employed.

Likewise reposted from the Bar, for those of the Cooler persuasion.

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. - Walt Whitman

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007 4:59 AM

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

Okay, so I have a imponderable.

While I was on vacation last week, there were a number of days I forgot to take my meds. Vacations do mess up your sense of time and routine. Anyway, my meds are of the sort that the effects don't wear off immediately so I had a bit of normality even while I was off them. The "ill effects" didn't actually hit me until I was back on them for a couple of days--they take time to take effect as well.

The "withdrawals" (which they weren't really--yet) manifested itself in early morning insomnia which in turn manifested itself in overwhelming turns of reliving the day, and feeling a sense of complete helplessness.

Now, while "life" is still out of control, I am not.

Here's the question. The meds are a way to cope. How substantially different is that from my days as an out of contol drinker/
(illicit) drug user? The booze and drugs didn't help me solve my problems, but they "took the edge off" as I've heard it said. My meds now don't "solve" any problems I have, but make the world a nicer place for me to live in--ostensibly so that I can work out whatever ails me otherwise.

Aren't the meds just another cop out, like the alcohol and drugs before them? I can't deal with life so I alter my chemistry. My problems are still my own, which only I can do something about.

I didn't mean for this to get so personal, so "about me", but I couldn't think of another way to ask the question. Hypothetical didn't seem like a good fit. Plus, everybody sucks at playing hypothetical.

*Shakes Cooler and waits for answer to appear in Magic Window*

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. - Walt Whitman

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007 5:30 AM

"Outlook hazy"

Zeek answer: yes, but at least these are doctor regulated. That's something, right?

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007 5:44 AM

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
"Outlook hazy"

Zeek answer: yes, but at least these are doctor regulated. That's something, right?

Ever watch House??

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. - Walt Whitman

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007 5:54 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyQuest:
Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
"Outlook hazy"

Zeek answer: yes, but at least these are doctor regulated. That's something, right?

Ever watch House??

Nope. The only hospital show I'll watch is scrubs.

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007 6:32 AM