The Presidential Candidates as FF Characters by Shiny

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

The Presidential Candidates as FF Characters

POSTED BY: SHINY
UPDATED: Wednesday, January 30, 2008 20:06
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Tuesday, January 22, 2008 11:55 AM

After reading "The GOP Primary Field in Buffy Villains" ( http://www.cogitamusblog.com/2008/01/the-gop-primary.html), I thought I'd try my hand at using Firefly characters. I'm not really happy with some of these, but I'm sure other browncoats will be able to run with the idea and come up with some better ones:

Dems:

Clinton = Patience ("Hell of lady. Dropped on that Little Rock with nothing, owns half the damn electorate now."..."It's a trap?" "Oh yeah. She's gonna smear us. Not a doubt.")

Obama = Kaylee ("Up 'til the race-baiting, it was a real nice primary.")

Edwards = Simon ("The pretty fits, the soft hands, definitely a moneyed individual rich and lily-white and pasty all over--")

Reps:

Guilianni = Badger ("petty mayor with delusions of grandeur...sad little king of a sad little hill")

Huckabee = Book ("off bringing religiosity to the Fuzzie-Wuzzies or some such")

McCain = Niska ("I also have reputation as a political maverick, not so pleasant, I think you know.")

Paul = Mal ("A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." plus, some people think he has a problem with his brain being missing)

Romney = Yo-Saf-Bridge ("played the voters. From minute one." "Everybody plays each other. That's all anybody ever does. We play parts.")

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008 1:00 PM

REGINAROADIE

Barak Obama as Kaylee??? That's a bit of a stretch. Only thing the two have in common is that they grew up on farms. Not to be obvious, but I'd go more for Obama=Book.

And even though McCain's a Republican, I wouldn't compare him to Niska. I figured that if McCain were to become President, it would be the lesser of all evils. He's the one Rep I actually like.

But Guilianni and Romney as Badger and Yo-Saf-Bridge are perfect.

**************************************************
"And it starts with a sentence that might last a lifetime, or it all might just go down in flames. If I let you know me, then why would you want me? Each day I don't is a shame. Each day I don't is a great shame."

Loudon Wainwright III - "Strange Weirdos" off the "Knocked Up" soundtrack

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008 1:24 PM

SHINY

Yeah, like I said not all of them really work, but I thought it would be a fun idea to play with.

What FF character would you associate McCain with?

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I don't need a gorram back-spaceship driver!!!

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008 2:05 PM

REGINAROADIE

I'd say the sheriff in THE TRAIN JOB. Even though he's in the Alliance's pocket, he knows when to look away so the right thing can be done.

**************************************************
"And it starts with a sentence that might last a lifetime, or it all might just go down in flames. If I let you know me, then why would you want me? Each day I don't is a shame. Each day I don't is a great shame."

Loudon Wainwright III - "Strange Weirdos" off the "Knocked Up" soundtrack

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008 7:46 PM

FREEBROWNCOAT

I like it!

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008 8:00 PM

STEAMER

What, no Jayne? Oh, wait....Jayne matches with ALL of 'em. :P (And yes, by that I mean they're all freaking STUPID...."Ruttin' twerp's gonna get us killed!")

Wash ain't sure of
Starting a fam
Zoe don't give
A good gorram
FIREFLY

Captain of the New England Browncoats
http://www.myspace.com/nebrowncoats

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008 3:16 AM

JONGSSTRAW

Quote:
Originally posted by Shiny:
Yeah, like I said not all of them really work, but I thought it would be a fun idea to play with.

What FF character would you associate McCain with?
I don't need a gorram back-spaceship driver!!!

Very original topic here Shiny! I like your role selections too. Here are some of mine:
Saffron: Hillary Clinton....say anything, do anything, step on anyone to acheive her goals..playing many "parts".
Fanty & Mingo: John Edwards (dual role)..sharp, slick, conniving, business-like
Magistrate Higgins: Rudy Guiliani...aggressive, dominating, obsessive, and a bit full of himself
Fess Higgins: Ron Paul....a little boy asking if he's a man, a tad naive, but cute & cuddly just the same
Bessie The Upside-Down Cow Fetus: Dennis Kucinich...proof my friends of alien life
Guy on His Knees after Crow goes thru the Engine: John McCain...Beat up & disoriented, willing to do anything to attain peace through compromise, and has no stomach for violence any more
Niska: Barack Obama...has reputation, just talk & gossip for now, mysterious in a frightening way
Jubal Early: Al Sharpton...single focus, single issue guy, do the (hatchet) job and move on, silly over-confidence is amusingly entertaining
Hands of Blue Guys: Kucinich & Paul (dual honors for both)...One of them will someday touch a button or something, and the Earth & all its' inhabitants will cease to exist

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Thursday, January 24, 2008 4:14 PM

JUBELLATE

In no particular order

Clinton - Definitely Paitence, hopefully as susceptible to falling horses.
Giuliani - Definitely Badger, sees power as a ends as well as a means, not a nice guy
Romney - guy that tried to take Mal's ship in "Out of Gas", smooth talker, don't ever turn your back on him
Thompson - the town elder in "Safe", "woman, why are you waking us from our beds at this hour"
McCain - old Jayne - I'll kill a man in a fair fight, or if I think he's going to start a fair fight, or if there's a woman, or if I'm getting paid...especially when I'm getting paid
Edwards - Simon (something about lily white)
Obama - Jubal Early if he wasn't evil - very philosophical, kinda vague, outwitted by a psychic.
Paul - sheriff in "The train job" - wants to play by the book, sees greed and incompetence hurting his community, but not a leader, just a good guy that does his best.

Note - This are my very biased opinions.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. – H.L. Mencken

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Thursday, January 24, 2008 6:55 PM

MARTIANWAY

Clinton: Patience. Tough, resourceful, smart as hell and maybe not so trustworthy.

Obama: Kaylee. Genuinely and openly nice person, optimistic, naiive, wants everybody to get along. A bit of a Bambi in the woods.

Edwards: The fellow who was selling the dead cow fetus at the beginning of "The Message". A showman, glib and disingenous with a really good pitch.

McCain: Some combination of Jayne (pragmatic, temper) and the Sheriff in Train Job (straightforward, generally nice guy). Maybe a bit of Mal for that old-soldier feel.

Paul: River. Insightful but essentially crazy. Probably traumatized by government experiments in his youth.

Romney: Fanty & Mingo. Buisnesslike, pragmatic, economically sound and two-faced.

Huckabee: Operative. He seems like a nice guy who maybe knows what he's doing until suddenly he says something like "what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards" (or pulls out a sword) and you realize he's a nutter.

Guliani: Hands Of Blue. Terrifying.

I know one thing we did right
was the day we started to fight
Keep your eyes on the prize,
hold on, hold on...

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Thursday, January 24, 2008 9:33 PM

SHINY

Quote:
Originally posted by Jongsstraw:

Bessie The Upside-Down Cow Fetus: Dennis Kucinich...proof my friends of alien life

LOL!

---

I don't need a gorram back-spaceship driver!!!

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Friday, January 25, 2008 1:50 AM

JONGSSTRAW

Quote:
Originally posted by Shiny:
Originally posted by Jongsstraw:

Bessie The Upside-Down Cow Fetus: Dennis Kucinich...proof my friends of alien life
-------------------------
LOL!

Hey, I try! Thanks

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Friday, January 25, 2008 1:56 AM

JONGSSTRAW

Quote:
Originally posted by MartianWay:

Edwards: The fellow who was selling the dead cow fetus at the beginning of "The Message". A showman, glib and disingenous with a really good pitch.

Paul: River. Insightful but essentially crazy. Probably traumatized by government experiments in his youth.

Outstanding! Very funny, but the sad part is they're deadly accurate.

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Friday, January 25, 2008 5:14 AM

WASHNWEAR

Good ones, all (and I'm just a hair surprised that this thread hasn't degenerated into RWED material yet - everybody's keepin' it shiny and happy)...more insightful than I'd have come up with. But does it strike anybody any particular which-way that apparently none of the candidates reminds anyone of Inara...?

All the world was but a stage when we got here!

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Friday, January 25, 2008 7:02 AM

SHINY

Quote:
Originally posted by WASHnwear:
apparently none of the candidates reminds anyone of Inara...?

Perhaps Dennis Kucinich

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's wife! ;)

---

I don't need a gorram back-spaceship driver!!!

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Friday, January 25, 2008 11:57 AM

MARTIANWAY

I'll bite. Mitt Romney as Inara; Charming, wealthy, a head for buisness, and willing to say anything to keep a “client” happy.

...and see how I'm not going for the easy "they all prostitute themselves in one way or another"? I think I've grown!

I know one thing we did right
was the day we started to fight
Keep your eyes on the prize,
hold on, hold on...

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Friday, January 25, 2008 12:03 PM

CHRISISALL

Well, Crow & the next guy after him are Cheney & Bush, respectively, so they're not candidates.

Chrisisall

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Friday, January 25, 2008 12:48 PM

SHINY

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
Well, Crow & the next guy after him are Cheney & Bush, respectively, so they're not candidates.

Don't I wish!

THE PEOPLE
"Now after this impeachment, stay out of everyone's way the best you can from here on in. That's best for everyone, okay?"

CHENEY
"It doesn't matter where you go, or who you elect. I will drag your liberties down, and the last thing you see will be the inside of a Gitmo waterboard chamber.

THE PEOPLE
Darn.

*kick*

Horrible crunching sounds happen.

THE PEOPLE
"Now after this impeachment...

BUSH
Oh, I'm good. best for everyone. I'm right there with you.

---

I don't need a gorram back-spaceship driver!!!

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Friday, January 25, 2008 12:52 PM

CHRISISALL

LOgorramL!!!!!

Ah ha ha ha hah ..uhhh

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

isall

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008 5:29 AM

REGINAROADIE

Just a small bump and update. Both Edwards and Giuliani are dropping out of the race. While I'm ambivalent about Edwards (never really stood a chance between Clinton and Obama, but he was with Kerry on 04), I'm psyched that Giuliani is not in the running for President. I heard and figured that of the various Republicans, Giuliani is the worst of all evils. So him out is a somewhat good step.

While I'm Canadian and want the Dems to win, I wouldn't mind if this allows McCain to be the Reps final choice. Like I said, McCain seems to be the lesser of evils and not someone who wants to prolong a needless war or put the economy into recession.

**************************************************
"And it starts with a sentence that might last a lifetime, or it all might just go down in flames. If I let you know me, then why would you want me? Each day I don't is a shame. Each day I don't is a great shame."

Loudon Wainwright III - "Strange Weirdos" off the "Knocked Up" soundtrack

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008 8:06 PM

SHINY

Quote:
Originally posted by reginaroadie:
McCain seems to be the lesser of evils and not someone who wants to prolong a needless war

http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-na-mccain5jan05,0,1958105.stor
y?coll=la-home-center

Antiwar activist David Tiffany, 60, repeatedly challenged McCain about his "open-ended commitment" to Iraq. As the men engaged in a tit-for-tat that lasted several minutes, McCain said he would keep troops in the divided country for 100 years if needed to provide stability.

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I don't need a gorram back-spaceship driver!!!

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