It will never truly die. My thoughts having watched 'Firefly'. by NervousPete

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

It will never truly die. My thoughts having watched 'Firefly'.

POSTED BY: NERVOUSPETE
UPDATED: Friday, April 30, 2004 11:02
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 6507
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Tuesday, April 27, 2004 9:52 AM

My feelings on Firefly.

I finished the episode 'Objects In Space' three hours ago. The time since then has been
spent in coming to terms with our parting of ways. I have cooked a very nice pasta and
sausage bake and have drunk half a bottle of wine into the bargain. I sit here and wonder
what I can say to you all. I wonder how I can express me feelings. I didn't want it to end.
Even as I watched, I never really thought that it could end. I believe that I still don't think
that it really has. There's always time for more stories...

There have only ever been two stories that I have been terribly grieved to have ended.
Before I saw Firefly, it was a comic book series called 'The Sandman' that ran for 75
issues. It ended because the creator and writer - Neil Gaiman - came to the natural end of
his story. That story ended in death, but a death that made everything that was said in the
series true and precious. The characters remaining had lives of their own, and sometimes I
wish that I could have walked with them further. But a part of me was glad that it was
over too, over at such a perfect moment before it could run on and fall into ruin. The story
and its characters stay with me still, and I am well satisfied that the man got to say
everything he needed to say. Read it if you can, 'The Sandman' by Neil Gaiman. It is very
special.

Firefly hurt me. It hurt me badly. It was like leaving the best party of your life early for the
last bus, because you can't afford the taxi. But worse. It was like having the beginning of a
beautiful story read to you, and then the reader closing their book and walking away. And
as they walked away, they tugged upon the spirits of the characters who danced before
your eyes, dragging them away from you at a moment when you felt like you were really
becoming to know them and love them. Mal, Zoe, Wash, Kaylee, Jayne, Simon, River,
Inara, Book... Serenity... they are friends and a home taken away from me. I know that
this sounds like pitiful stuff, an excess of enthusiasm... but it hurts. There is pain enough,
and the joy I had with them is enough to make it sting even more. These characters still
alive, make no mistake; they are not dead. They are merely out of sight and out of
hearing... but not out of mind. We will all have our stories to tell of them, because they
will continue to fight and play and love and hurt in our minds. Each one of us will visit
them in moments of idle thoughts and lucky dreams, and we will bring stories and
anecdotes home for others.

Look to them. They still eat in their kitchen. They sit there now, squabbling over the last
drops of wine. Simon abstains, medical book open in front of him - he has notes to take
for further study later. Kaylee thinks that the wine tastes like engine grease, and when
Jayne makes a joke of it, she retorts that she likes the taste of engine grease. The place
erupts, and Zoe finds an excuse to tell a war story - something light with hidden depths -
as Wash leans his head on her shoulder and feels warm. Mal turns the bottle with his hand
and sees the reflection of each crew member in the glass as he does so. Book quotes a
verse and knocks his glass over reaching for the bread, spilling his share upon Jayne, who
looks angry for just a moment, but - fuelled as he is - begins to suck upon his vest, getting
the wine out of it. His friends laugh still harder. The hurt and the arguments traded, they
matter not now, not around this table. River smiles nervously and Inara eyes her with
compassion, passing her a plum. Simon damns the notes and reaches for a glass, to a
ragged huzzah from everyone. And Mal keeps looking into that bottle and sees not the
escape he craved in the dark times of battle and the terrible waiting, but the reflection of
friends and his deep abiding love... Serenity, that shell of steel, ceramic and plastic that
protects and nurtures him and his crew in return for their love. Our love. Our love for
Serenity. Our love for Firefly.

You see? They still live within us. Firefly hasn't died, and that makes it all the more painful
and all the more precious. She lives in each one of us, but her stories will be guarded and
fleeting, until we and Joss and the people who supported her can open her up again, get
that great engine of hers running - the one that tells secrets and jokes, loss and fear,
heroism and cowardice, truth and lies with every pulse - until we can bring her home again
and share her stories.

Serenity is out there, deep in space. Mayhap she won't be back for a while; but while she is
out there in the deep dark, she's taking stories on board. She will return and when she
does, we won't let her and her family go until they have told us every story for every day
of their life out there.

They can't take the sky from me.

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004 10:07 AM

JOHNCLARK

You said it all

We'll always have Serenity

---------------------------------------------
Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation begets disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A=B=C=A, or whatever

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004 10:08 AM

JERSEYBROWNCOAT

Amen, brother.

I was speechless the first time I finished the set; you put it all in words.

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004 10:17 AM

LYRYN

Beautiful.

Lyryn

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004 10:40 AM

ANOTHERFIREFLYFAN

When you spoke that, you spoke to every browncoat. We all feel that way.

Firefly must come back.

For now, we do have Serenity, the movie coming out in a year or so from Universal. But that'll be like getting just one more episode. (And one that takes much longer than a week of waiting to get).

~AFf

Keep flying

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004 10:52 AM

KNIBBLET

Quote:
Originally posted by NervousPete:
...Neil Gaiman. It is very special.

ANYTHING by Neil Gaiman is worth the effort. I adore his work. Have you read, "American Gods"? If ever you feel the need to go to the House on the Rock, give me a ring and I'll drive the 120 miles to meet you.

We can even have our own Spanish Inquisition. Ole!

Thank you, Nervous Pete. You have a gift for expression. Always share your gift with your fellow browncoats. The image of Jayne sucking the wine out of his t-shirt made me smile.

"Just keep walkin, preacher man."

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004 10:57 AM

GUNHAND

Pete, if I may call ya Pete. That was very, very good. Made me a bit misty even.

I'd say more but words are pretty much failing me right now. So gonna pop in a Firefly DVD and just smile some.

"Pain is scary..."

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004 11:05 AM

HOWDYROCKERBABY1

Wow... that was wonderfully written!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Here's to Jayne, the box dropping man-ape-gone-wrong-thing"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004 12:02 PM

SEVENPERCENT

Quote:
Originally posted by Knibblet:

ANYTHING by Neil Gaiman is worth the effort. I adore his work. Have you read, "American Gods"? If ever you feel the need to go to the House on the Rock, give me a ring and I'll drive the 120 miles to meet you.

Knib, any time you want to go, you just call Ol' Seven- Gaiman is fantastic- His work with Terry Pratchett on the book 'Good Omens' is how I found out about him (huge TP fan here), and I've read all his work- American Gods is by far his best-

------------------------------------------
He looked bigger when I couldn't see him.

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004 12:27 PM

ALTA

I've been perusing this site for a while now, so Ithought I should finally post something.
Your words reflect the feelings of Browncoats everywhere, much more eloquently than I ever could.
My brother has had the DVDs since December & refuses to watch HOG because he says that way, there will always be one episode left, & the series will not be over.

There's no place I can be
Since I found Serenity

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004 12:56 PM

ZORIAH

I'm sitting at work, reading this and wanting to cry. You have articulated so well for me the joy and bittersweet sorrow and love that this show has inspired in me. In fact I AM crying, thank goodness the boss is out right now.

I loved your description of the crew around the table, you captured each of the character's essences so well. If you write any more fan fiction, I would be honoured to read it.

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004 1:24 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by NervousPete:

Look to them. They still eat in their kitchen. They sit there now, squabbling over the last
drops of wine. Simon abstains, medical book open in front of him - he has notes to take
for further study later. Kaylee thinks that the wine tastes like engine grease, and when
Jayne makes a joke of it, she retorts that she likes the taste of engine grease. The place
erupts, and Zoe finds an excuse to tell a war story - something light with hidden depths -
as Wash leans his head on her shoulder and feels warm. Mal turns the bottle with his hand
and sees the reflection of each crew member in the glass as he does so. Book quotes a
verse and knocks his glass over reaching for the bread, spilling his share upon Jayne, who
looks angry for just a moment, but - fuelled as he is - begins to suck upon his vest, getting
the wine out of it. His friends laugh still harder. The hurt and the arguments traded, they
matter not now, not around this table. River smiles nervously and Inara eyes her with
compassion, passing her a plum. Simon damns the notes and reaches for a glass, to a
ragged huzzah from everyone. And Mal keeps looking into that bottle and sees not the
escape he craved in the dark times of battle and the terrible waiting, but the reflection of
friends and his deep abiding love... Serenity, that shell of steel, ceramic and plastic that
protects and nurtures him and his crew in return for their love. Our love. Our love for
Serenity. Our love for Firefly.

Brilliant. Frelling Brilliant.

Oh, and no kidding on Gaiman, the guy kicks some serious ass. I just read The Sandman this semester, and I own all of his books. Good stuff.

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Wednesday, April 28, 2004 6:14 AM

BLACKEYEDGIRL

You need to write to Joss, you need to tell him all of these things, and after you have taken your proper credit, sign it from the rest of us Browncoats. This is exactly why I think Joss writes the stories he does. He doesn't write stories, he writes characters, characters so lush, that the stories come so naturally you would honestly think these people were real. I'm a Buffy & Angel fan. To tell you the truth, I didn't like either at first, I had watched Buffy at first but I had night classes and a life and missed the show for a while. Then I came back and it was like I was stuck in this place, where everything is an inside joke, and I was on the outside. It frustrated me. I didn't get it. So I started buying the DVDs, and I got let in on the joke. Cos honestly in the end I remember characters, their growth, their struggles, their pain, their joy more than I remember any plot line.
It has been said that Buffy was about the struggles of being a teenager, and that Angel is about your twenties. I think that Firefly can't be stuck into an age range, instead I think it has more to do with simple survival. How do you make it in this world? A world so quick to break you down, chew you up and spit you out.
When I got my hands on Firefly (Christmas is truely the best holiday ever), my father (a Buffy addict as well, but he won't admit it) and I sat down and nearly watched the whole series straight through, every available second was dedicated to Firefly watching. At the time I was in a bad place. See I just hit my quarter-life crises. A lot of the time I feel like Serenity in Out of Gas (Tim Minear's finest hour hands down), floating, growing colder, suffocating. But the show really made me see that in all reality, and I know it's cliche, and I shouldn't need a TV show to teach me these lessons, but life really isn't what you make it, it's the people you fill it with. And no matter how broken you are, or how broken the people around you are, you can heal each other, and together you can eke out a life, a life worth living.
I thought it was especially poignant that the series ended (on DVD and for you folks in the UK) with River finding a place on Serenity. Objects in Space is the finest moment of existentialism in TV history. I didn't get the episode until I watched Joss' commentary, and then it was like lightbulbs flashing in my head, my own personal paparatzi. It was that moment that I truely appreciated what a gorram freaking genius Joss is. I don't think TV was ready for Firefly. But I think as the American populace has less of a hunger for that 'Reality-TV' crap (I still blame the UK and Europe for unleashing this on us, why did you do it??? Why???), that a place will be made for Firefly's return. I think a movie will go a long way in these terms.
Also now, as pretty much an official Browncoat, it is now your duty to hook every single person you know on Firefly. I've got my 85 year old Grandmother hooked (I figured if she was addicted Stargate, I could surely improve her TV tastes, and teach her DVD all at the same time). I recommend doing as I do, everyone I know, for their birthdays, is getting Firefly on DVD, whether or not they want it. They don't have a choice. They will recieve it, they will watch, they will fall in love, cos I haven't found a person yet who didn't get sucked in immediately.

Keep flyin' and I look forward to your fan-fic, until the movie it's up to us to keep Serenity flying.
-Adrianna

PS: Your bit on the Blue Hands man and the Lemoncakes had me laughing so hard I nearly shot coffee through my nose.
BTW: A warning to all, in Season 1 of Angel there are scenes in Sanctuary where all the cops are wearing those Blue gloves, apparently much like Summer Glau, some things couldn't be left on Angel. Fortunately they are not in pairs of two, cos that silly Kate Lockley is a lone gun.

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Wednesday, April 28, 2004 7:46 AM

BROWNCOAT1

May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.

Well NervousPete I will give you credit, you certainly have a way w/ words.

I think your well thought out post speaks for all of the Browncoats here, our feelings on Firefly, and its ending far too soon. There is a longing left in all of us, for the stories left untold, the secrets and history left unrevealed. We want to share in the lives and adventures of these characters as long as is possible. We have laughed w/ them, cried w/ them, and have experienced a wide range of emotions and situations through the brilliant acting and storytelling.

I think it is safe to say that all of us here are eager for more of the story of Firefly to be told. We have the BDM on the way, but we want our weekly installments back as well.

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."

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Wednesday, April 28, 2004 2:46 PM

ZOID

Alta wrote:

Quote:
My brother has had the DVDs since December & refuses to watch HOG because he says that way, there will always be one episode left, & the series will not be over.

Alta, have you seen HoG? If so, then you know you must get your brother to view that last episode. In HoG (without spoiling anything) Zoe speaks the truest when she says "I'm not so afraid of losing something that I won't try havin' it."

And you don't wanna argue with Zoe...

Respectfully,

zoid

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Wednesday, April 28, 2004 5:10 PM

RKLENSETH

Yes, this is why Firefly will never die. Once you been to Serenity you never leave. It is even in the theme song that we all have come to love.

I think Firefly is beginning to become a cultural breaking event.

Someone in my college dropped a book in the library while I was doing some research for a paper. He said 'gorram it' and I knew instantly that he was one of us Browncoats.

The thing is though that it is not just a small cultural event that is isolated to one country or region but it is all over the world.

"Doing the impossible makes us mighty," said Captain Malcolm Reynolds. We Browncoats have done the impossible and are continuing the impossible. Unlike most people, we are fighting for a home. Serenity is our home. We will never leave it until we die and that is what has made us mighty.

That is why I always speak out against others when they say that it is inevitable for the Browncoat community to break apart. I speak out because we are all in the same home. We may not always agree but who ever does. We are family and we have a home. That is what makes Firefly so different and makes the Browncoat community so different than any other fandom. We aren't a cult, fandom, or group. We are a family with a home we call Serenity.

Oh, and play Cantr II at www.cantr.net.

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Thursday, April 29, 2004 11:48 AM

NKYJAY

No new posts today? Well, I'll add one from my timeline over this side of the Atlantic then.

Cultural phenomenon is a good way to describe it. The fact is that it is genre-crossing stuff. These characters, the truth of them, could be anywhere, anywhen, have any name and speak any language. Their hopes, fears, loves and hates would still make them real. I sometimes have the feeling that Joss watches his characters the way a scientist must sometimes watch the lab rats in his care - hating what he must do to them, but knowing that it is for the greater good. It's the sympathy and empathy that come through and allow us to find ways to forgive the characters (and ourselves) for our weaknesses, failings, and moments of despair. It's Agent Smith's comment, "Only human" viewed from the other side, with immense sympathy and understanding.

Joss, I hope you never stop writing, because we need this stuff. Go dark places and show us the way through them. Or not, because that's how it is some times, but don't stop challenging preconceptions and boundaries that make us forget what's common to us all.

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Thursday, April 29, 2004 3:50 PM

FIREFLYTHEMOVIE

No one has ever articulated how I feel about Firefly, particularly how I feel after finishing watching it all the way through each time. Thank you, NervousPete.

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Thursday, April 29, 2004 4:45 PM

KINGOFTHEMUDDERS

Reading your post, Mr. Pete, I imagined myself in the theatre watching the Big Damn Movie. And you know what I saw? Everyone in that theatre laughing, crying, and applauding together. Because we are all bringing something with us into that movie, and what that is you perfectly described.

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Friday, April 30, 2004 2:04 AM

ZORIAH

NervousPete, can I repost your wonderful thoughts at another Firefly forum I mod at?

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Friday, April 30, 2004 5:49 AM

CYBERSNARK

Well-written NP.

Firefly had a good run. When it couldn't run, it walked on DVD. When it couldn't walk, it crawled in fanfic. And now, we're carrying it.

Lotta good shows have come and gone. This one's not getting left here.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Friday, April 30, 2004 6:30 AM

JENCHRISSYM

Perfect... you got it.

Mal turns the bottle with his hand
and sees the reflection of each crew member in the glass as he does so.

Yea, I had tears. If there was ever a world I so wholly needed to be a part of it would be that of this crew. I'm still flyin.

jen

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Friday, April 30, 2004 10:06 AM

NERVOUSPETE

Wow! Thank you all for your lovely comments. I have actually thought up a good plot for a piece of fan-fic and will be writing it as and when the mental blocks hit me during the hard but fun slog that is writing my novel. I'm glad my sentiments have echoed with you, and I hope that you'll enjoy my fan-fic too.

And frankly, some of your replies have got me all choked up too. Especially Blackeyedgirl's and Cybersnark's nice paraphrasing and... aw, shucks, all of you!

And yay Knibblet and Sevenpercent! Glad there are other Gaiman fans here too!

And feel free Zoria, and anyone else who wants to use it. Just pop my name at the foot of it or something so that I can further indulge my mad cravings for limited internet fame and adulation.

Cheers,

Pete

"If you can keep your head whilst others... eurgh! Ack! I've spilt my ink! Ugh! Ink on my trousers! Agh! Ink on my shirt! My only hope! The window! Aieeeeee!" (Falls to death)
- Jonathan Nash

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Friday, April 30, 2004 11:02 AM

DRALIONSOLEIL

beautifully said nervouspete. i'm sure that in lucien's library are the boundless stories of firefly's first incarnation that we did not get to see

also, for neil gaiman fans, have you heard about the gaiman convention, Fiddler's Green in MN this november?

www.fiddlersgreencon.org

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