RULES OF COMBAT by Veteran

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RULES OF COMBAT

POSTED BY: VETERAN
UPDATED: Monday, March 17, 2008 02:51
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Tuesday, March 11, 2008 4:53 PM

Don't squat with your spurs on.

A friend of mine sent me these, don't know if he made 'em up or found them some place. Anyway a couple of these make me think of our Big Damn Heroes. For instance #6 produces a mental picture of a large man in a strange hat carrying a Callahan fullbore automatic. Nos. 13, 14 and 22 could have been penned by Mal himself. 23 brings Zoe to mind.

1. Bring a weapon; preferably bring at least two. Bring all of your friends who have weapons; bring their friends who have weapons.

2. Anything worth shooting once is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap; life is expensive.

3. Only hits count. Close doesn't count - the only thing worse than a miss is a NEAR miss.

4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough - or using cover correctly.

5. Move away from you attacker: distance is your friend (lateral and diagonal movement is preferred.

6. If you can chose a weapon to bring to a gunfight, bring a BIG one; and if you can, bring a friend with a big weapon too.

7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember how lived and who didn't.

8. If you are not shooting you should be communicating, reloading, and running.

9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting is more dependant on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the weapon.

10. Use a weapon that works EVERY TIME: "All skill is vain when an Angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket."

12. Someday, someone may kill you with your weapon...but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

13. In combat, there are no rules: ALWAYS cheat; ALWAYS win - the only unfair fight is the one you lose.

14. Have a plan. Have a back-up plan; because the first one won't work.

15. Use cover or concealment as much a possible. The visible target should be in front of your weapon.

16. Flank your adversary; protect yours.

17. Don't drop your guard.

18. Always tactical reload and threat scan 360 degrees.

19. Watch their hands - hands kill. (In God We Trust: everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them)

20. Decide to be aggresive enough early enough.

22. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.

23. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

24. Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to Avoidance, Deterrence and De-Escalation.

25. DO NOT attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a ".4".

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008 6:14 PM

OUT2THEBLACK

Quote:
Originally posted by Veteran:

...Anyway a couple of these make me think of our Big Damn Heroes. For instance #6 produces a mental picture of a large man in a strange hat carrying a Callahan fullbore automatic. Nos. 13, 14 and 22 could have been penned by Mal himself. 23 brings Zoe to mind.

23. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

Someone should fix the spelling errors and whatnot , and rename these the Browncoat Rules of Combat...

Number 23 reminds me of Mal as much as Zoe , as in :

" Shoot them . Politely..."

Oh yeah , Veteran , wummo thing , and I know you know this...Should be Callahan 'autolock' , not automatic...And he threw 'thoroughgauge' in there somewhere , too...

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008 6:20 PM

IREMIST

Ohh, I like those and I'm sure me hubby will, too

My family's crest motto is "You may break me but you shall not bend me" so #12 is the one that tickes my fancy... but I like #2 just because I'm a thorough kinda gal.

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008 6:28 PM

OUT2THEBLACK

Hey , Misty...

Fine to see you slippin' about...

Got your note...Sorry , mei-mei , I've been busy like a mean old man...Will dash you a wave when I get a tick...
O2tB

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008 8:56 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Imma throw in one from David Drakes Belisarius series, because it applies so very well.

"Every plan gets fekked up the moment the enemy arrives, that's why he's called the enemy."

I admit that imma somewhat notorious breaker of rule #25 there, as my personal is a Colt Pocketlite, but hell, if I were *expectin* trouble, I'd borrow Pierces RPK with 75 round drum!

-F

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 12:23 AM

NEWOLDBROWNCOAT

I saw a similar set online somewhere a couple of years ago. The one that stuck with me is: " Always be sure you are well hidden from your sergeant. If he can see you, so can the enemy."

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 12:40 AM

AGATSU

Quote:
Originally posted by Fremdfirma:
Imma throw in one from David Drakes Belisarius series, because it applies so very well.

"Every plan gets fekked up the moment the enemy arrives, that's why he's called the enemy."

-F

Lol, I love that.
Some of the other rules above are helpful as well.
To add something productive for a change, something from an old movie stuck to me, a Western I think: "Wait till you see the white in their eyes."

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 12:59 AM

SPACEANJL

Yep, most of these I can hear growled out round a fat stogie, but with considerably worse grammer.

Can I have some of these? I'm playing with the idea of Mal at boot camp. (Read the Heinlein thread and went and dug out 'Starship Troopers'...)

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 1:14 AM

FLATTOP

There's another list called "Murphy's Laws of Combat" that includes:

Never forget that your weapons were made by the lowest bidder.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 5:00 AM

XRAFTERMANX

Jayne would take issue with Rule #3, even though he is probably the best shot.

"We could sure use some hand grenades about now!" -Jayne-

I would add a rule too: Leave no witnesses, win by attrition.

"You got a job, we can handle it, don't much care what it is." ~Detroit Browncoats~

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008 4:53 PM

VETERAN

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Quote:
SpaceAnJL wrote:
Wednesday, March 12, 2008 00:59
Yep, most of these I can hear growled out round a fat stogie, but with considerably worse grammer.

Can I have some of these? I'm playing with the idea of Mal at boot camp. (Read the Heinlein thread and went and dug out 'Starship Troopers'...)

Go ahead. Also I suggest you read the script for Dead or Alive. Haken posted it a couple years ago. In it Joss fowarded the notion that Mal trained special forces types. A story about that would be an interesting follow up.

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Thursday, March 13, 2008 1:44 AM

SPACEANJL

I have read said script. Sadly, the bit that really remained with me was the idea of our Favourite Merc owning a fuzzy toy turtle. Bless.

I have to warn folks that I am not at all familiar with the Forces, so I take everything from other sources. Apologies in advance.

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Thursday, March 13, 2008 5:26 AM

AMERICANPHYSCO

Almost only counts in hand grenades

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Thursday, March 13, 2008 6:14 AM

LEIF

Here are some of Murphy's combat rules that seem at home in the 'verse. Enjoy!

If the enemy is in range, so are you.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
Friendly fire isn't.
The easy way is always mined.
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
If it's stupid but works, then it isn't stupid.
When in doubt empty the magazine.
Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
Five second fuses only last three seconds.
A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
No plan survives the first contact intact.
Tracers work both ways.
When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
If it moves, shoot it.
If it doesn't move, poke it with your gun barrel and then shoot it.
Overkill works.

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Thursday, March 13, 2008 6:18 AM

SPACEANJL

"When the pin is pulled, Mr Grenade is not our friend..."

*snerk* love that one.

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Thursday, March 13, 2008 4:41 PM

VETERAN

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Quote:
Originally posted by Leif:
....If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
.....
If it's stupid but works, then it isn't stupid.
.
Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.

I can picture Mal explaining the first two. The last one seems like something you might hear from Book.

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Friday, March 14, 2008 6:32 AM

AVENGINGWATCHER

LMAO, now this is the kind of stuff that makes me giddy...well that and when my wife is cooking...oh sorry forgot you were there. These rules, while funny are entirely accurate. Now time to kill the enemy.

When there are no heroes where will we turn?

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Friday, March 14, 2008 6:46 AM

LEOPARDFLAN

"No plan ever survives the first contact with the enemy"

And here's some I'm winging

*Don't bite into apples (unless they came real cheap- the gernades cost extra...

)
*If you can only rescue one of two men, pick the weakest (or the pilot)
*Flash bombs disguised as incense are real handy

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98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature.

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Friday, March 14, 2008 9:33 AM

SPACEANJL

From my husband

"Forget nothing, Forgive no-one"

I also like "We do bad things to bad people"

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Friday, March 14, 2008 3:06 PM

AVENGINGWATCHER

One from a movie I recently watched, Never go into battle with an untested weapon.

When there are no heroes where will we turn?

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Friday, March 14, 2008 3:41 PM

KIRKULES

Quote:
Originally posted by Veteran:

2. Anything worth shooting once is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap; life is expensive.

You can never have enough ammo!
Quote:
6. If you can chose a weapon to bring to a gunfight, bring a BIG one; and if you can, bring a friend with a big weapon too.

Never bring a knife to a gunfight.

Quote:
8. If you are not shooting you should be communicating, reloading, and running.

Always dial 911. The first one to call 911 wins(gets their side of the story told to the police first).
Quote:
12. Someday, someone may kill you with your weapon...but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

You can never have enough ammo.
Quote:
18. Always tactical reload and threat scan 360 degrees.

When shooting a semi-auto, practice letting empty clips fall to the ground and pocket clips that you eject due to a misfire(clip may be no good, but ammo still is).
Quote:
23. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
24. Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to Avoidance, Deterrence and De-Escalation.

These are the most important rules on the list.
Quote:
25. DO NOT attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a ".4".

.45acp(there are other schools of thought)

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Friday, March 14, 2008 3:45 PM

ALLIETHORN7

Here's one I think came from the void that is my mind...
"Always assume that there is more of them then there are of you. Adjust your numbers accordingly."

-Danny

Who controls the past now controls the future
Who controls the present now controls the past
Who controls the past now controls the future
Who controls the present now?

Now testify
Testify
It's right outside our door
Now testify
Testify
It's right outside our door

The Band of the week is... Rage Against the Machine
Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein.
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Friday, March 14, 2008 5:02 PM

NCBROWNCOAT

Quote:
Originally posted by SpaceAnJL:
Yep, most of these I can hear growled out round a fat stogie, but with considerably worse grammer.

Can I have some of these? I'm playing with the idea of Mal at boot camp. (Read the Heinlein thread and went and dug out 'Starship Troopers'...)

I'd love to see a story about Basic SpaceAnJL. Lots of wisdom on that subject around here I think.

Also, to paraphrase TR, "Talk softly and carry a big stick or gun."

http://fireflyfaninnc.livejournal.com/

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Friday, March 14, 2008 6:08 PM

VETERAN

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Umm, I don't know if calling 911 is applicable. Air support maybe.

Regarding large caliber handguns, I might make exceptions here, .357 magnums have always had stopping power and I don't know how much extra it had but I fired a .38 Police special with a load called .38 p which seemed to have quite a bit of kick.

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Sunday, March 16, 2008 4:41 AM

SPACEANJL

Yeah, a young and idealistic Mal Reynolds, fresh off-planet, and his bootcamp buddy, Aiden 'Moonshine' Mercer...and you just know that their drill sergeant has Gibbs-like qualities...

What with this thread, and the Irish Drinking songs over at the Browncoat bar, my head is now a worrisome place to be.

Talk crazy, and carry an object that may be a stick or a gun, depending on your perception of reality...

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Monday, March 17, 2008 2:51 AM

SPACEANJL

Ohgodhelpus, my brain has done an awful thing.

For those who watch 'Life on Mars' and 'Ashes to Ashes'...Drill Sergeant Hunt

"Don't march onto my planet like you're the King of all Londinium...it's 2503, it's lunchtime. I'm havin' protein bars."

Fire up the Quattro!

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