Pfff, Early? by Jumpy

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Pfff, Early?

POSTED BY: JUMPY
UPDATED: Thursday, May 6, 2004 04:47
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 7005
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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 6:08 AM

See its my theory that while Early eventually got beaten, Boba Fett woulda been in and out with River in like 5 minutes

And River would probably not have slipped by him and into Slave I.

But then again Boba Fett's technlogy is perhaps a little more advanced...and he has a better ship...and has kickass Mandalorian armour to boot!

...well maybe its an unfair comparison...

Mercy is the mark of a great man…*stab*…I guess I'm just a good man…*stab*…Well, I'm alright.

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 6:33 AM

JUMPY

Kaylee: Is that him?
Mal: That's the buffet table.
Kaylee: How will we know unless we question it?
Mal: Just don't make yourself sick.

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 6:52 AM

CAPTAINCERENTZ

Hmmm...

Supposing that both the Star Wars Universe and the Firefly 'Verse were one and the same I would have to say that Boba Fett wouldn't have been able to do anything...

See, we know that Firefly is roughly 500 years in the future, right? Star Wars takes place, "A long time ago, in a Galaxy far, far away..."

Assuming that Boba Fett was somehow aware that would eventually be a bounty of River and Simon... If he started his trip at the maximum Hyperdrive speed of Slave I, he would arrive in the Firefly 'Verse galaxy as a pile of dust, if Slave I even could make the trip...

So, the comparison really isn't possible, unless you want to include some time traveling Star Trek or old School Battlestar Gallactica stuff... Then you can get ALL sorts of cool wierd and interesting convergences of genre...

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 10:47 AM

GUNHAND

Well no offense to you Jumpy or to Bobba himself if he happens to be reading this. But Bobba didn't seem to be really that good of a bounty hunter when it all comes down to it.

Basically he tracks the Falcon to Cloud City and then lets the Empire do all the dirty work. He's more like a Fed Ex boy than some terrifying bounty hunter in Empire Strikes Back.

In Return of the Jedi his big claim to fame is, well dying. He gets taken out by a blind guy with a cane if you think about it. Master of the combat arts I ain't really seeing here.

If you add in his appearence in the Star Wars Limted Edition, all he does is stand around and look Bobba-y while his boss gets talked down to by a smuggler. Not really winning many points there with me.

My whole impression of Bobba Fett is that he's at best a mid-level thug from the Henchmen's Guild who happened to have the shiniest suit. Never was all that impressed with his bounty hunting skills.

I'm thinking in a straight up fight Jubal would probably win, that is if Mal hadn't already pitched both them off into space and/or kicked one through the engine first.

That's one of the reasons I like Firefly so much, you can see a Mal-Crow relationship in your head that is like the Han-Bobba one when Crow starts his,"Save it for a funeral..." speach. but then Mal kicks Crow through the engine, problem solved. Joss surprised the hell out of me with that scene especially since the set up is there to "Do the Star Wars" thing.

Mal could kick the snot out of Han, any day of the week as well. I mean Han got totally deballed by the Special Edition, Greedo shoots first. Mal would have shot them both in the head before they were even done trying to intimidate each other.

No, I don't hate Star Wars, saw the first movie the day it opened and more times since than I can count. But for my money, now, Firefly is superior to Star Wars on many levels, and that's even letting out those new ones which I won't even comment on.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 3:15 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

Hee hee..Hi-larious. I could not agree more! Well, I could, but it would be silly. Not unlike ...

The Department of Redundancy Dept.

" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 3:34 PM

KERNELM

Quote:
Originally posted by CaptainCerentz:
Hmmm...

Supposing that both the Star Wars Universe and the Firefly 'Verse were one and the same I would have to say that Boba Fett wouldn't have been able to do anything...

See, we know that Firefly is roughly 500 years in the future, right? Star Wars takes place, "A long time ago, in a Galaxy far, far away..."

Assuming that Boba Fett was somehow aware that would eventually be a bounty of River and Simon... If he started his trip at the maximum Hyperdrive speed of Slave I, he would arrive in the Firefly 'Verse galaxy as a pile of dust, if Slave I even could make the trip...

Actually, if, say, the Star Wars universe was both one million years ago and one million light years away, then if Fett's ship went at very close to the speed of light, he would arrive in the Fireflyverse at just about the right time, and he would have barely aged. I'm sure my numbers are wrong, but my basic point is that time dilation would allow Fett to arrive safely, under certain conditions. Of course, it seems the actual SW ships are FTL, and thus time dilation effects would be unknown, but whatever. :-P

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 3:44 PM

GUNHAND

Now, now, let's keep logic and stuff right outta this.

Oh and to stay on topic, Evil Masterminds, Niska vs. Jabba.

Hands down my vote is going for Niska, he's evil, he's spooky, he's mysterious and kooky. Plus he has a niftier Secret Lair AND a really real, honest to God Tiffany desklamp. Evil with style, that's the ticket.

Plus Niska doesn't sound like some sort of restaurant waiting to happen, I mean Jabba's an easy mark there just look at Spaceballs.

Niska has all sorts of factory like things going on at the Skyplex too, it's not like all he does is sit around on a little dias, ooh ooh ooh laugh and smoke out of a hooka while eating live things and tormenting his dancing girls. Okay Jabba gets a couple points for having dancing girls in brass bikinis, but he loses far more for trying to kill them all. So here again, points to the Niska.

He and Jabba seem to shop at the same Henchman's Guild though. It's gotten to the point where if I see some unnamed guy in the show, and he's wearing a hat, I know he's dead. Sorta like the Firefly equivilent to a Red Shirt from the Show That Shall Not Be Named.

Besides Jabba looks like a slug, Niska looks like a Satanic garden gnome. I ask you what's scarier? Slug? Satanic garden gnome? Gnome is, hands down. Plus even though he has an Eastern European name his accent sounds vaugely Swiss to me, what's more evil than the Swiss? I mean a country that pretends it's neutral yet is full of bankers, lawyers and chocolate factories. Where DO they get all that chocolate from, last time I checked the plants wouldn't grow in the Alps. Further proof that Niska is the Devil.

Ummm, okay I'm gonna go take my pills now. But trust me. Niska = Devil.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 4:53 PM

CAPTAINCERENTZ

Quote:
Originally posted by KernelM:
Actually, if, say, the Star Wars universe was both one million years ago and one million light years away, then if Fett's ship went at very close to the speed of light, he would arrive in the Fireflyverse at just about the right time, and he would have barely aged. I'm sure my numbers are wrong, but my basic point is that time dilation would allow Fett to arrive safely, under certain conditions. Of course, it seems the actual SW ships are FTL, and thus time dilation effects would be unknown, but whatever. :-P

Well, the Star Wars Hyperdrive takes a ship out of real space using the hyperdrive motivator and puts that ship into Hyperspace, where the normal laws of physics don't apply...

The ship travels at this immense speed while in hyperspace, but no time dilation effects are applied to the crew of the ship, even though the crew is traveling way beyond the speed of light. Even being in this other dimensional realm it isn't quite possible to go so fast as to instantly appear across the universe nor escape the effects of time, which would put Fett out of luck in the above example...

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 5:24 PM

JUMPY

Quote:
Originally posted by Gunhand:
Well no offense to you Jumpy or to Bobba himself if he happens to be reading this. But Bobba didn't seem to be really that good of a bounty hunter when it all comes down to it.

Basically he tracks the Falcon to Cloud City and then lets the Empire do all the dirty work. He's more like a Fed Ex boy than some terrifying bounty hunter in Empire Strikes Back.

In Return of the Jedi his big claim to fame is, well dying. He gets taken out by a blind guy with a cane if you think about it. Master of the combat arts I ain't really seeing here.

If you add in his appearence in the Star Wars Limted Edition, all he does is stand around and look Bobba-y while his boss gets talked down to by a smuggler. Not really winning many points there with me.

My whole impression of Bobba Fett is that he's at best a mid-level thug from the Henchmen's Guild who happened to have the shiniest suit. Never was all that impressed with his bounty hunting skills.

Haha yep that's fair enough. I spose I'm speaking from a perspective of "expanded universe" Boba Fett more so than "movie" Boba Fett... OH YES, the authors of the novels and comics treat Boba VERY nicely.

He's practically superman and sherlock holmes combined into a bounty hunter.

But yes now I can understand seeing him in the movies he doesn't do a whole lot 'cpetin' look cool. lol he needed to call STORMTROOPERS to help him, and they all seem pretty useless.

ah well I still love my Boba

note: did you guys know in the star wars expanded universe Boba Fett ESCAPES from the sarlacc? hehe. They'll do tthe impossible to keep him alive for the fans

Simon: It's a wonder you're still alive.
Jayne: He looked bigger when I couldn't see him

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 5:32 PM

JUMPY

Quote:
Originally posted by Gunhand:
Niska has all sorts of factory like things going on at the Skyplex too, it's not like all he does is sit around on a little dias, ooh ooh ooh laugh and smoke out of a hooka while eating live things and tormenting his dancing girls. Okay Jabba gets a couple points for having dancing girls in brass bikinis, but he loses far more for trying to kill them all. So here again, points to the Niska.

Now hold on a sec, what are you judging here? How busy they are and wht they dress their dancing women in? hehehe. They both seem pretty comparitively evil in this sense, what with Niska toruring the hell outta people and Jabba watching them get ripped part by the Rancor

Simon: It's a wonder you're still alive.
Jayne: He looked bigger when I couldn't see him

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 5:38 PM

ROCKETJOCK

Quote:
Originally posted by CaptainCerentz:

So, the comparison really isn't possible, unless you want to include some time traveling Star Trek or old School Battlestar Gallactica stuff... Then you can get ALL sorts of cool wierd and interesting convergences of genre...

Well, they can all meet at Munden's Bar, in the pan-dimensional city of Cynosure. Or they can catch a convenient TARDIS, or just hitch a ride on any ship with Infinite Improbability Drive.

Crossover stories are always fun, and for the most part only possible in fan fiction. Maybe someone ought to start a thread devoted to what shows you'd enjoy crossing over into the Fireflyverse.

Maybe I ought to. Hmm

Not tonight though, gorram it. I'm on dial up until we pay our old cable bill. And I've got to save at least ten minutes of my alloted half hour today to check once more before bedtime to see if Static's finally checked in.

"You can't enslave a free man. The most you can do is kill him." -- Robert A. Heinlein

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 6:13 PM

GUNHAND

Quote:
Originally posted by Jumpy:
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunhand:
Niska has all sorts of factory like things going on at the Skyplex too, it's not like all he does is sit around on a little dias, ooh ooh ooh laugh and smoke out of a hooka while eating live things and tormenting his dancing girls. Okay Jabba gets a couple points for having dancing girls in brass bikinis, but he loses far more for trying to kill them all. So here again, points to the Niska.

Now hold on a sec, what are you judging here? How busy they are and wht they dress their dancing women in? hehehe. They both seem pretty comparitively evil in this sense, what with Niska toruring the hell outta people and Jabba watching them get ripped part by the Rancor

Simon: It's a wonder you're still alive.
Jayne: He looked bigger when I couldn't see him

Yeah they're both evil in a torturing/Rancor feeding fashion, but seems to me Jabba doesn't do much besides feed people to Rancors, while Niska at least pretends to be working on world domination by using science and industry.

So Niska gets world domination points, Jabba gets brass clad dancing girl points, this would indicate a tie except that Jabba then kills said dancing girls, which makes him lose more points putting him behind the Satanic Gnome.

I mean it's Evil Overlord 101 here people, don't kill the scantilly clad dancing girls. Huge points deduction for that. Maybe El Sluggo just didn't get the memo...

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 6:17 PM

TMURRIE

Well that would work, unless Marvin bored them to death with his General People Personality...those damn doors and their satisfaction to close with the knowledge of a job well done.

Hummmmmmmmmyummmmmmm ah!

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 6:35 PM

NOOCYTE

Quote:
it would be silly. Not unlike ...

The Department of Redundancy Dept.

Heh-heh. Liked that, eh?

Department of Redundancy Department

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Tuesday, May 4, 2004 9:48 PM

MACBAKER

Based on what we saw River do in "War Stories", I doubt Boba would have had any better chance than Early! She handled Early one way, but if she read Boba's mind before he entered Serenity (as I believe she did with Early) she would have known how dangerous Boba really was, and been waiting for him. She proved earlier in the same episode that she could acquire one of Jayne's guns with ease, and would have "Killed him with math" before Boba knew what hit him. Sure, the expanded universe version of Boba is highly intelligent and skilled, but he would be no match for River's super intellect, ability to know Boba's every move before he even does it, and her deadly skill with a firearm. Kalee said it herself, not even Jayne or Mal could have done what River did! Boba is just a man, and she's so much more.

I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 1:07 AM

JUMPY

well i dont know bout him being "just a man" but certainly the rest is pretty true! lol ah well

Simon: It's a wonder you're still alive.
Jayne: He looked bigger when I couldn't see him

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 2:10 AM

MACBAKER

As I understand it, Boba is nothing more than a perfect clone of Jango Fett. Jango may have been an excellent physical specimen, but he wasn't a superman! He was just a man. River is a child prodigy. More so, she is the product of a program designed to make her into the perfect spy/assassin.

The fact is, Boba is at a severe disadvantage.

1. He has to capture River alive.

2. River, on the other hand, can and has proven that she will kill when necessary.

3. River's abilty to read thoughts would keep her a step ahead of any of Boba's tactics! Knowing he's coming would make an ambush easy.

River (3), Boba (0), advantage River. Boba, like Early is toast!

I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 3:13 AM

STILLSHINY

If only I had time to add to this. I love it. I want more.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn." --Joss

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 10:18 AM

GUNHAND

I'm in a very sarcastic mood today, so sensitive viewers may want to just keep on walkin' right past this...

Ahem.

Cue lights.

Cue sound.

Roll it.

A long time ago, in a galaxy somewhere other than here...

STAR WARS: EPISODE SOMETHING OR OTHER

It is a DARK TIME for the STAR WARS franchise. Continuity has been thrown out the window and turgid plotting has gripped the GALAXY in it's evil grasp.

CGI CREATURES run rampant among the worlds of the OLD REPUBLIC causing mayhem, strife and guffaws from people who have seen better. In children's cereal commercials, no less.

If that was not bad enough, the JEDI KNIGHTS, guardians of law and order in the Galaxy have been relegated to playing MARCO POLLO to find out what is up with these nefarious yet completely uninteresting plots instead of actually doing their jobs...

Obi-Wan Kenobi: "Master Qui-Gon I am getting a feeling that the Trade Federation are giving us the runaround here, the Force tells me that things are not what they seem..."

Qui-Gon Jinn: "...Rob Roy I said that was the last movie I was doing...damn agent..."

OWK: "Master? Are you feeling allright? You seem distracted..."

QGJ: "What? Oh sorry my young Padiwan learner, I was just contemplating fates and what should have been. Now what's all this then with the Force and the feelings and the so on and so forths?"

OWK: "Oh sorry, umm...The Force. It tells me something here is not quite right."

QGJ: "Indeed. We must be careful I have a feeling that the Trade Feder...Great day in the morning! What's that!?"

Suddenly outside the window an odd ship appears, oddly shaped like the love child of a steel horse and a giant insect, puffs of vapor appear as it moves to the docking collar.

OWK: "By the Creator where did that come from?"

QGJ: "Good question, I never even heard it fly up. This is unsettling my young Padiwan learner, we should go to the airlock and investigate!"

OWK: "Master...Why do you keep calling me 'young Padiwan learner' all the time, I mean I understand formality and all but it seems a bit...excessive."

QGJ: "Good question my young Padawan learner, Ben stop rolling your eyes or I'll give you something to make faces about...where was I, oh yes. I keep using the full title because even though this is the 4th mov...I mean the 4th in a series of chronicles of the galaxy and Jedi that will some day be made famous by documentary films...where was I?"

OWK: "The whole Padawan thing?"

QGJ: "Yes, even though, yadda yadda yadda, the simple fact is that term has never been used before. So therefore by me repeating it endlessly and at full length then the viewers of this...completely true and accurate historical account...will know that Padawan is the term we Jedi use for an Apprentice."

OWK: "I see...So you're saying that even though the other documentaries always used "apprentice" that "Padawn" is the actual term, and has been all along. Got it. Ummm...Master?"

QGJ: "Yes my young Pad...oh sod it, what Ben?"

OWK: "Do you think they'll buy it?"

QGJ: "Not a chance in hell...That is until the original 3 documentaries are updated with a Super Special Edition which inserts all the terms that we use now into it."

OWK: "Ahhh I see, but if these terms were thought up even before Star Wa...I mean before the first documentary was even made shouldn't it have been in there as well and not needed redubbing? In fact, if that were the case you wouldn't have to use the whole Padawan thing to get the point across would you?"

QGJ: "Ben..."

OWK: "Yes Master?"

QGJ: "Shut the

up. You're allowing logic to enter into things and that's not the Jedi way!"

OWK: "Yes Master, so shall we see who our new guests with their inscrutibly silent ship are?"

QGJ: "That was the point before you started babbling about continuity. Ahhh close your mouth son it's going to catch flies, off to the airlock we must go with haste!"

The two rush down to the airlock, with much CGI enhanced flapping of capes, at one point Obi-Wan doing a backflip as he runs, for no appearent reason whatsoever.

The airlock is silent but bright lights stream from the open hatch of the docked ship, momentarilly blinding the two Jedi until their eyes adjust, barely making out a shadow with a backpack standing in the hatch.

OBW: "Master! It appears to be...a girl! A rather svelt and graceful girl with flowing long hair and bare feet!"

QGJ: "Keep it in your robes Ben, remember the Jedi Code." Loudly,"Hullo there Miss, who might you be and what is your purpose here?"

River: "I'm River, I come from the black when things are skewed, like little apple bits sent out to gather motes of infinity. I fade in and set things right."

OWK: "What the hell?"

River: "You do take so much looking after. Allright here's the deal, I'm River and I'm here to help you."

QGJ: "Help us? We're Jedi lass, we need no elp from a bare slip of a girl."

River: "Oh I think you do, you see this movie is broke."

QGJ & OWK together: "Broke?"

River: "Fallacious reasoning, spurious logic, a complete lack of continuity, so...Broke. I'm here to fix it."

She smiles angelically and pats her backpack full of books while the Jedi stand with stunned and shocked expressions on their faces.

To be continued, maybe...

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 10:39 AM

NEROLI

Dang Gunhand, I felt like I was reading a fanfic there. Now you have to finish it...must see how River fixes them!

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 10:59 AM

BADGERSHAT

... that might have been the single most brilliant piece of writing I've ever seen in my entire life...

May I suggest another pair-off in the battle domain?

How about, non-physical combat... a duel of calming phrases and meditative ways between Book and the Original Trilogy Ben Kenobi?

Or, how about a battle of Intuitive Knowledge of Engineering between Kaylee and one Montgomery Scott?

Ooohh--Simon Tam versus Leonard McCoy!!!

Damn, this it turning into a "Celebrity Death Match" lineup...

--Jefé The Hat

***************************
"I like smackin 'em"--Jayne

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 11:06 AM

GUNHAND

Awww thanks.

Well Jefé, as a long time lover of Star Wars (saw it on opening day in '77) I'm not keen on how the whole thing has panned out, started with the Special Editions and went downhill from there.

So...after writing that I think I'm gonna take on all 5 of the movies, and have the crew of Serenity show up in all of them at dramatically appropriate, and (I hope) hi-larious points...So I'm plotting, planing and even scheming as we speak.

Star Trek someone else would have to handle, I'm not a Trek kinda guy. But Star Wars, oh yeah.

I may repost this to a thread of it's own so I can continue it without confusing people. But I need to write a followup to make that worth the while.

Scheming I am...

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 11:09 AM

ASTRIANA

MORE!! MORE!!

~A~

...I'm still free,
You can't take the sky from me.

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 2:07 PM

GUNHAND

Ahem, I'm back. Now to do something completely insane and unpredictable, because I'm like that, instead of progressing to the next scene in the story I'm giving you a very special treat.

The Creator's Commentary for the scene you've just seen. And not only the commentary, but the ever ellusive Rough Cut! Enjoy...

I appolgise in advance because this is in very bad taste.

As the credits roll...

George Lucas: Umm, is this thing on? It is. Good. Hello there and I'm the creator of Star Wars, George Lucas but you probably already knew that. I'll be here today to explain to you the subtle nuances of the film...Here is my patented eye straining scroll that opens every movie. The soundtrack of course is by Mr. John Williams, a great composer and one whom I've worked with on...ummm...quite a few films now. Ummm, allright here we see the Trade Federation ship with our Jedi, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan onboard. Umm...the guys at ILM did a great job with that ship design and shot I think...Bear with me here this is the first time I've actually done a commentary for a Star Wars film and...

Sound of a door slamming in the background, footsteps and a chair sliding on a tile floor.

GL: Ummm, hello there. Who are you?

Joss Whedon: Hello there moviefans, I'm Joss Whedon the creator of Firefly, nice to be here for this commentary.

GL: Ummm, well hello there Joe.

JW: It's Joss not Joe. You're giving me that "why are you here look" but you'll see in a bit, trust me.

GL: Ummm, okeedokie then. Damn okay we need to rewind some here. Okay here is the opening scene again, the Trade Federat...

JW: (interrupting) You're kidding me right? Look at that thing, it looks like...hell I dunno something that falls out of a woman's purse at inappropriate moments. But that aside it doesn't follow the form of the original 3 movies, the design is not only new but looks...well NEW. I mean this is supposed to be the past isn't it? Why does the ship look newer and more modern than the ones from Star Wars.

GL: A New Hope.

JW: What?

GL: We don't call it Star Wars, it's Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope.

JW: Whatever Eddie Munster...

GL: (clears throat) Anyway! The ship looks more modern because of the stunning advances in CGI; technology that just wasn't there when I was fillming Star Wa...Dammit, A New Hope.

JW: Well duh. But I mean look at it man, it looks all new and, well I won't use the word shiny because that would give it more credit than it deserves, but it looks more technologically advanced. And this is the past right? Internal timeline-wise correct?

GL: Yes well...ummm...but you need to understand that the CGI technolog...

JW: (interrupting again) Yeah yeah, the new CGI, yadda yadda yadda, whatever George. You realise you just pooched the whole 'suspension of disbelief' in your opening shot because it goes against the technology seen in the previous STAR WARS movies right?

GL: Well I wouldn't agree with that theory but if it makes you feel better fine, you can think that.

JW: Oh I do.

GL: Fine.

JW: Yep, fine. Okay now we see the Jedi standing around...

GL: Wait a minute Joss, this is my movie why did you jump in to scene setting commentary?

JW: Because...coming...right...up...

GL: Hey! What's with that twangy guitar thing? John didn't write tha...holy crap!

JW: ...transport ship, Firefly class, Serenity. Schweeet!

GL: Was that a fully CGI zoom???

JW: Yep.

GL: Hmmm, I may have to use that technique sometime...

JW: Oh I'm sure you will...(sound of coughing)

GL: Did you say something?

JW: No, just had something caught in my throat, you know how it is, sorta makes you hack some.

GL: Indeed! Ummm...anyhow, here we see the, what did you call it, a Firefly...sneaking up on the Trade Federation ship. It's all...shiny. Sort of like my Federation ships! Aha! You copied!

JW: What the unpainted thing? Yeah it's only been around on ships since, oh...World War II. At least I didn't shape it like a diaphragm.

GL: A what?

JW: Nevermind George.

GL: Ummm, yeah. Hey how did you sneak a whole ship up on two highly powerful Jedi knights without them hearing it? You cheated!

JW: Vacuum George, no sound in a vacuum.

GL: That still doesn't explain why...

JW: (interrupting) Space is a vacuum George.

GL: (long pause) Well what do you know. Anyhow here our heroes go down to the docking bay to investigate the landed ship. Pretty cool eh, they way their capes flutter, the new CGI tech...ohhh Obi-Wan flip! Cool huh?

JW: Yeah I almost wet myself it was so exciting. George you do know you don't have to add CGI to every shot right? It's a tool not a medium.

GL: Huh?

JW: Nevermind...Okay now the Jedi are at the docking bay. Hey George I always wanted to ask you, why do the Jedi all have those funky dash in the middle of random yet Chineese sounding names? I mean it isn't a title like 'Darth' or...

GL: (interrupting) Shhhh! They don't know Darth is a title yet!

JW: Uh huh, sure they don't George.

GL: Well it is a Galaxy far, far away. What makes you an expert on their naming conventions? I mean I created it I should know how the names work.

JW: Yeah, I mean you'd never stoop to having simple names like Luke or Ben or anything would you?

GL: Certainly no...hey now that's just low. Anyhow here is The Serenity...

JW: Just Serenity, no the.

GL: Huh, well that's odd. I mean it goes against common sense, I mean The Millinium Falcon has a 'the' in it, Millinium Falcon without the 'the' sounds...quite...cool actually. I may have to think on that some.

JW: Well you can always change it in the Expanded Special Limited Reworked Edition right?

GW: Well I could except I had all 9 of the Star Wars movies plotted out and worked up before I even started filming Star Wa...dammit, A New Hope. But maybe there was an error in translations from my original scripts. Boy when I catch whoever...

JW: (interrupting) And here we have River, ugly, ugly girl. She kept asking if that outfit made her look fat, I don't.

GL: Not at all...she's quite svelt and barefooted and...

JW: (smacking sound) Hey now! No self insertion George, makes for bad storytelling. And wipe that smirk off Kenobi's face before Jayne shows up.

GL: Who's this Jayne chick? Is she hot?

JW: You'll see...and there's her speechifying.

GL: Okay Joss, I can tell you're new at this, using words like "fallacious" and "spurious" is not going to work. I mean sure these Sci-Fi audiences are smarter than say, a Western audience, but still you're going to go right over the heads of your target 8-15 age group...

JW: Who said that's a target demographic?

GL: Well they're the ones that buy the action figures, slippy cups, lunchboxes, sheets, tie-in novels, comics...You know man, merchandising!

JW: You are such a

hack aren't you?

Scene selection menu comes back up.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 3:31 PM

JUMPY

You're a funny dude Gunhand, a funny, funny dude.

I especially like the,

"Star Wa...Dammit, A New Hope."

haha

Simon: Oh yes, he's a real beast...It's a wonder you're still alive.
Jayne: He looked bigger when I couldn't see him

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 3:44 PM

GUNHAND

Why thank you.

I've been told I was funny from time to time, but what people usually mean is funny as in like,"Dropped on your head as a baby too many times funny."

Which could be true, and how this twisted stuff just sorta happened from out of nowhere.

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 4:04 PM

NEROLI

ROTFLMAO!

Well, this just goes to show you can be Funny-Ha Ha and Funny-Peculiar.

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 5:44 PM

GUNHAND

And I slip further into madness...

[img]

EDIT!: Oh since I forgot to say it in a while, I am a Star Wars fan and these are just for pokin' a little fun at them. Well a fan of the originals at least, and by that I mean no 'special' sorta edition ones and definately not prequel ones. All in good fun.

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Wednesday, May 5, 2004 7:18 PM

JUMPY

HAHA ROFL.

Haha yeh thats cool Gunman me too

Simon: Oh yes, he's a real beast...It's a wonder you're still alive.
Jayne: He looked bigger when I couldn't see him

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Thursday, May 6, 2004 4:37 AM

GUNHAND

Woah, I wasn't even born in '63 so I can't be the Lone Gunman. Or could I? Nah I ain't ever even seen a Grassy Knoll, now one covered with cactii all the time; grassy, well not so much...

Just messin' with ya.

I have some ideas on where to take my trainwreck of a story, at least storywise; but not sure if I should keep messin' up this thread or start another one.

Looks like a day of big decisions. For that I'm going to need some coffee.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

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Thursday, May 6, 2004 4:47 AM

JUMPY

Quote:
Originally posted by Gunhand:
Woah, I wasn't even born in '63 so I can't be the Lone Gunman. Or could I? Nah I ain't ever even seen a Grassy Knoll, now one covered with cactii all the time; grassy, well not so much... :wink

I KNOW IT WAS YOU!!!

Haha yeh i dunno man start a new thread if ya like! I'm lookin forward to reading the rest either way!

__________________________
There's no show I'd rather see, than the one with Serenity.
You can't take the sky from me...

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