Taking nominations for the funniest post ever at FFF..net..... by chrisisall

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Taking nominations for the funniest post ever at FFF..net.....

POSTED BY: CHRISISALL
UPDATED: Saturday, August 2, 2008 06:05
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VIEWED: 1589
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Wednesday, July 30, 2008 4:21 AM

CHRISISALL

I nominate Hero's

"George Bush is the only thing standing between Jessica Alba and a burka."

Let's hear 'em, folks!

isall

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Wednesday, July 30, 2008 5:28 AM

KHYRON

Skywalken: "McCain '08"

------------------------------

This isn't my signature. I have to type this every time I make a post.

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Wednesday, July 30, 2008 6:09 AM

CHRISISALL

Static, from the 2005 thread 'ask ndugu':

"He's trying to say that you're a moron. An idiot. Pondscum.

On the evolutionary scale, you're somewhere between head cheese and a toaster oven.

You're a skidmark on the underwear of life.

You've the social appeal of vomit.

You're as popular as a turd in a punchbowl.

You're so unpopluar, you could make a train take a dirt road and a pit bull climb a plate glass window.

You're a cumstain on the pillowcase of society.

{edit}

I'm curious, fuckstick. . .

How many fansites for different sci-fi shows do you pull crap like this? Do you really have nothing better to do? Does it make you feel powerful and clever to provoke people to anger with your self-assumed ignorance? What is this? The new racism? It's socially unacceptable to hate blacks, latinos and asians, so your new outlet for self-loathing is to pick on sci-fi fans?

Is it because you're afraid telling a 'nigger joke' will earn you a broken jaw, but picking on some of us won't?

Or is it simply because hiding behind your computer screen, whether you're in mommy's basement, some middle-school computer lab, or from your office as the Senior VP of some major corporation, you feel powerful and clever? Safe in your anonymity. . .knowing that you don't have to suffer the sort of consequences you'd suffer if you actually had the balls to come to a gathering of us and speak like this to our faces?

You bore me, and yet you also inspire pity. You remind me of students I have, who have nothing to do every day but come to school and talk trash about anyone they can, simply because they are filled with so much self-loathing, that they have no other outlet.

So how old were you when Daddy left? Or has he left yet? Is he too drunk to walk out?

Does Mom smack you around much?

How often did 'Uncle Charlie' touch you in your 'danger zone'?

Fuck off.

Put a plastic bag over your head and breathe deep.

Go play in traffic.

Blow dry your hair IN the shower.

Watch TV in the tub.

PLEASE find something more productive to do with your time than provoke us. I suggest therapy and lots of it, because you obviously have some deep, burning issue you need to work out.

Work it out elsewhere and leave us alone."

Classicisall

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Friday, August 1, 2008 4:48 AM

CHRISISALL

I refuse to believe no one here knows of any really funny posts....

Persistent Chrisisall

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Friday, August 1, 2008 11:19 AM

SIMONWHO

I would nominate most of yours but I don't want to embarass you!

A pity the old thread about Orson Scott Card went to heaven given the number of people defending him there and his recent trip off the deep end of reason.

Anyway, I always loved Caption Tightpants:

http://www.google.co.uk/search?num=30&hl=en&safe=off&rlz=1B3GGGL_enGB2
18GB219&q=site%3Afireflyfans.net+%22caption+tightpants&btnG=Search

Sadly most of them need to be accessed by Google Cache these days. I don't know if Haken can ever recover them. Sigh. I guess everything ends.

Oh, and can anyone work out what the hell this caption was about?

http://66.102.9.104/search?q=cache:6CjW3VI4CkEJ:www.fireflyfans.net/th
read.asp%3Fb%3D2%26t%3D12542+site:fireflyfans.net+%22caption+tightpants%22+simonwho&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=6&gl=uk&lr=lang_en

"Truth negated beauty while false idols promised an enchanted frolic."

I haven't the slightest clue which is quite shameful considering I wrote it.

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Friday, August 1, 2008 12:25 PM

RALLEM

I have seen a few posts which made me smirk a little but I don't think I can remember any one post which made me laugh out loud, so I cannot nominate one.

http://swyzzlestyx.com/index.html

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Friday, August 1, 2008 1:31 PM

ASARIAN

Quote:
Originally posted by rallem:
I have seen a few posts which made me smirk a little but I don't think I can remember any one post which made me laugh out loud, so I cannot nominate one.

Me neither. My favorite funniest thread, however, was about the chickens:

http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=2&t=17366

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Friday, August 1, 2008 3:51 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL

There's too many to remember. My guess is one of yours should be in there somewhere. I know you've made me laugh more than once.

---
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-- Charlie Brown
www.thatcostumegirl.com
www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Saturday, August 2, 2008 6:05 AM

CHRISISALL

Quote:
Originally posted by asarian:
My favorite funniest thread, however, was about the chickens:

http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=2&t=17366

***Why did the chicken cross the road?***

Mal: Because the other side of the road was the only place it could live life on its own terms, without being meddled with.

Zoë: Because that’s where the job was, Sir.

Wash: It followed a really hot girl chicken that could kill it with its pinky. Do chickens have pinkies? No? We’ll I don’t know then.

Jayne: The money was better over there. (mutters) Lousy seven percent...

Kaylee: To meet shiny new chickens and see the sights.

Simon: That’s where the Alliance was hiding its sister.

River: To get to the other side.

Inara: It just suddenly, for no apparent reason, decided to pick up and abandon the luxurious life it had on this side of the road. That’s not odd, is it?

Book: It was a pilgrimage. Wracked with guilt over the atrocities it had committed, the chicken decided to devote the remainder of its life to God in a desperate search for redemption. Just a guess.

Jubal: What did you say? Am I a road?

YoSafBrige: Because you were over there, sweetie.

The Operative: The chicken’s motivations are not my concern. Getting it across the road is.

OMG- I somehow missed this one- It's SOOOO hi-larious!!!!

LOLisall

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