GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Imponderables: Let The Decorating Begin!

POSTED BY: NVGHOSTRIDER
UPDATED: Monday, October 20, 2008 05:57
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 5225
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Wednesday, October 15, 2008 12:14 PM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


Yeah Zeek, those were my issues with the campaign too. Letting yourself go isn't loving yourself, IMO, any more than punishing yourself with hours and hours at the gym is. I actually wrote a long diatribe about this on another forum:

Quote:

While I think that the campaign against certain types of images in advertising and entertainment is well intended and well placed, I find the bottom line message to be a bit skewed. This, like so many campaigns of its type, rails against skinny girls, mentioning several times that "women come in all shapes and sizes." Well, yes, that's true, and it isn't well represented in advertising outside of a few campaigns like Dove. But why does "Love Your Body" always come down to "Hate Skinny Chicks"?

I think if we really want to move away from this culture were 80% of women are unhappy with their physical appearance, we need to focus on loving ourselves for ourselves, *without* comparing ourselves to other women. I'm 5'2". I've worked with women who are 5'11". Neither is better or worse, it's just different (though I wouldn't mind being able to reach the top of the fridge ;) ). If we can accept that height is just a natural difference, why can't we accept all our other natural differences?

What is the basis of comparing ourselves to other women? If another woman looks "better" than I do, what's the basis for that judgement? We're judging on what we think men want. "She has better legs than I do, she has better lips" -- I'm extrapolating from what society tells us men want, and judging my *self worth* on that standard. Changing what society finds "beautiful" is not going to solve this problem. Having young girls binging on Twinkies so that they can get the large hips and round stomach that society finds beautiful isn't a solution.

The solution, IMO, is to teach girls to: 1. Stop caring about what guys think of them. Their worth is NOT defined by what kind of boyfriend/husband/sugardaddy they can land. And 2. Stop comparing themselves with other people at all. There will always be people better and worse at whatever than you, whether we're talking about waist size or math scores. Comparing yourself to *anyone* will put your on a roller coaster of "that means I'm great!" and "that means I'm horrible!", leading to poor self-esteem, or at best, volatile self-esteem. And of course, these things apply just as much to grown women as they do to young girls.

The other major issue that jumped out at me while reading through the NOW coverage is that "love yourself" seems to be a euphemism for "accept that you're fat and don't do anything to change that." I STRONGLY reject that statement. Loving your body should mean treating it as you would treat someone that you love -- with respect, honor, dignity, gentleness, care, and concern. How is being overweight loving your body? I'm not talking about supermodel standards here, I'm talking about being healthy, about not letting your muscles atrophy, and about loving yourself as a person enough to put some effort into feeling good beyond the next bite of cake.

It isn't about crash diets or long gym workouts or having a flat stomach. Those things are nearly always driven by our perception of what society says we have to look like to be worthwhile. It's about discovering all the amazing things your body can do. It's about pushing your limits and learning something new, not about punishing yourself. Be gentle with yourself, but also care enough about yourself to strive for life-long health.

I'm glad this topic is being talked about at all, but I feel that far too often the bottom line is "society shouldn't think that that girl is pretty, they should think that I'm pretty!" What the standard is doesn't matter, and will change over time. What matters is how we react to it, and how we teach the next generation to react to it. Advertising isn't going away anytime soon, and "sex sells" isn't going to change. We can change our attitudes, how we react to glamorized images. And we can learn to truly love ourselves, to care for and nurture these amazing bodies we have, rather than constantly wondering if we measure up.

(No offense taken if your reaction is "too long didn't read." )

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Wednesday, October 15, 2008 12:17 PM

FREELANCERTEX


Quote:

Originally posted by NVGhostRider: I suck at social situations.

I do to, so don't feel bad. I usually end up getting scolded for sitting in a corner the whole time >< "why aren't you out there having fun????" "because i don't know anyone and thats not fun? can i do my homework now?"


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Wednesday, October 15, 2008 12:17 PM

MSB


Ck right now I am standing up applauding you!!!! That was PHENOMENAL!!!! You rock and that so totally had to be said:)

____________________________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”-Dave Barry


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Wednesday, October 15, 2008 12:33 PM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


Thanks MsB! I haven't gotten any reactions yet from the other place I posted it, so I'm glad at least someone liked it, hehe. I hope no one at work is looking at you oldly now though, lol.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Wednesday, October 15, 2008 12:51 PM

ZEEK


Yep that was much better put than what I threw together. Well said CK.

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Wednesday, October 15, 2008 2:54 PM

FREELANCERTEX


you should sell that to anorexic (and overweight) high school crybabies everywhere. seriously, they need to hear it.


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Wednesday, October 15, 2008 3:44 PM

LEOPARDFLAN


Ck, that. was. AWESOME!!!

Aiko Kitahoshi, passenger aboard the LoS, frequently awol due to the phenomina that is rl.

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Wednesday, October 15, 2008 4:17 PM

FREELANCERTEX


HI RF!!


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Wednesday, October 15, 2008 7:50 PM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


Thanks guys! ^_^

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Thursday, October 16, 2008 3:36 AM

FREELANCERTEX


we try ^_^

here's a ponder: what's a good way to get back at a boss who did something *very* annoying? XD something that won't end in like a letter of reprimand or something


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Thursday, October 16, 2008 4:15 AM

KELKHIL


Very well put CK!

I have always been too skinny. Annoyed the hell right out of me. I mean 6'1" 155 - 165 lbs skinny here. You could seriously see my ribs through a sweater!

We would go to China Express in the Mall for lunch and the lady who owned it would pile the food on my plate saying "more for you! You too skinny" I would have easily double what most of my friends had on their plates for the same money.

I used to always say that when I got older I wanted to get fat! It was going to be awesome!

(Now for the part that I will get yelled at for I am sure )

Over the last couple years I have put on a bit a weight. I have a desk job for the most part now, I am getting old and I quit smoking (yes nicotine helps boost your metabolism). My metabolism is not what it used to be.

I started to notice it around my stomach. I no longer had stomach I had a belly. It started to annoy me a bit but eh what can ya do.

Then I had a butt! I never had one of those before and I thought "awesome!"

Then I saw myself in the mirror and honestly I was disgusted with how I looked. All cottage cheesy and flabby. I could not stand it!

Next thing I know I am buying a weight system and an exercise bike at the sporting goods store.

That was over a year ago and my weight has bounced around a bit. Mainly because I am actually able to put on muscle now. I had worked out in High School but was never able to put on any Mass.

I am starting to get to where I want to be. Now before y'all say that "I have seen pictures and you are skinny" remember that I said that I am almost to where I want to be. I am not trying to fit into society's "beautiful" picture, just my own (and not really beautiful cuz I woudl need a lot of help there).

I am at 200-ish and I am alright with that. I just want to be in better "shape".

[/2cents]

Some men just wanna watch the world burn


Zombie Killing, Ninja in Training Kelkhil
The Shirtless Forsaken



Member of the Coalition for HK - Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow.

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Thursday, October 16, 2008 5:22 AM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by freelancertex:
we try ^_^

here's a ponder: what's a good way to get back at a boss who did something *very* annoying? XD something that won't end in like a letter of reprimand or something


Um...a voodoo doll? I think this is why bosses suck so much. There's not really anything you can do to get back at them. They have the power. Unless it's something that you could go to their boss with and get them in trouble you're pretty much stuck. Even that could be career suicide.

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Thursday, October 16, 2008 5:45 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Good morning Ponderers!

Gotta feel ya on that one Big K. I feel like I've been perpetually chubby. From the chubby cheek baby picture I showed off a while ago to, well, chubby cheeked me now. I've always been bigger than the other kids on the playground but I never felt prettier.
Until now.
A few years ago I had people noticing me saying how buff I was or how good I looked. I laughed at them. What an ass. I can't remember ever saying Thank You.
I always want to be lighter. Thinner. Prettier. But everytime I get to losing the weight my body hurts. A lot. I get sick. Stupid brain gets stupider. So giving up on the dream of being thinner seems to have gotten easier. I'm faster and have a better wind than I used to. Quit smoking. But still have the recurring dream of running long distances...

Anyhoo, I'm much happier with myself now. I hope other people can feel content enough with themselves to accept who they are and to change themselves within reasonable terms.



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Thursday, October 16, 2008 6:01 AM

KELKHIL


NVG - It is amazing how that goes. I am still pretty dense towards compliments and such (yes the Brick Theory again) and tend to realize way later what exactly happened.

Some times when I do notice it creeps me out a bit too though. Mainly cuz you have to be pretty blatent about it for me to notice.

What can us Sexeh Men do eh?

Some men just wanna watch the world burn


Zombie Killing, Ninja in Training Kelkhil
The Shirtless Forsaken



Member of the Coalition for HK - Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow.

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Thursday, October 16, 2008 6:16 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


(e-shrug)

Not much we can do. Just take in every compliment at will. Somehow we get better looking as we get older.

How? The world may never know.



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Thursday, October 16, 2008 6:46 AM

MSB


Well could just be because you were hot all along and never noticed it...

HUGS Kelkhil

NV

I'm not the tiny I was( being a ballet dancer does lead toward tiny) and I'd like to be smaller than I am, but I just try to eat healthy and work out and limit myself to the occasional treat ( still working on the willpower there) but all in all I'd say progress is made





____________________________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”-Dave Barry


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Thursday, October 16, 2008 8:02 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Off to plan for the tribal halloween party. Woo-freakin'-hoo.



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Thursday, October 16, 2008 8:09 AM

MSB


You're such a Halloween scrooge... NV

____________________________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”-Dave Barry


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Thursday, October 16, 2008 8:10 AM

FREELANCERTEX


once again, your enthusiasm astounds me NV XD

woot, i'm *not* going to miss fall semester next year ^_^ *goes off to bar to celebrate*


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Thursday, October 16, 2008 8:38 AM

MSB


HUGS FLT... well it depends on the activity.. he's very enthusiastic when it's something he likes to do:)

Ok my total lack of motivation is starting to bug me... I just don't want to do this right now. I'm hoping a good , fun weekend will perk me up. I need to get my head in the game

____________________________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”-Dave Barry


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Thursday, October 16, 2008 8:48 AM

FREELANCERTEX


mmm lack of motivation. it sucks when you have something that really needs to get done. like a lab >< or a paper. or anything else >_<;; cheer up, weekend's almost here ^_^


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Thursday, October 16, 2008 8:54 AM

ZEEK


yay lack of motivation day. I'm so in that mood too. I just don't want to work on anything today.

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Thursday, October 16, 2008 9:33 AM

MSB


Mostly just a tired sort of not really wanting to go to work thing

____________________________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”-Dave Barry


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Thursday, October 16, 2008 9:46 AM

ZEEK


Yeah I'm sorta tired and sorta defeated. We were just in a meeting about how something we worked on has been bungled by the ordering folks so that it can't even be ordered. Sweet let's just trash that...who cares that we spent time working on it. Bah!

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Thursday, October 16, 2008 9:55 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Just gets to the point where I'll help plan and prep stuff work related but execution of some things I will totally bitch out on. Not because it is too much work or because I'm lazy (yes I am), but because i get to doing stuff and end up doing way more than anticipated. And the lack of recognition thing bites my ass a bit more now so we won't go there.



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Thursday, October 16, 2008 11:45 AM

MSB


Um being super busy and unable to do it all doesn't count as lazy.

Hmm mostly I'm just tired and since the reogranization the micro-managing and new structure have sucked all the fun out of the job...oh well I am sure I can sort it out... and besides I'm going to get a teaching job next year ( I really miss being the teacher) and it'll be over :)

____________________________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”-Dave Barry


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Thursday, October 16, 2008 1:09 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


An hopefully no long drive.



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Thursday, October 16, 2008 1:24 PM

FREELANCERTEX


mmmmmm, long drives...*nods*

don't ever take a long drive with my parents.

Ever.


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Thursday, October 16, 2008 1:58 PM

LEOPARDFLAN


no me gusta la trabaja de casa, es muy horrible! No me gusta nada tiempo libre!

*blink*

yeah, kinda doing spanish homework right about now. Takes up too much times!!! Thank goodness for online translators so I don't have to look shit up ^_^

Aiko Kitahoshi, passenger aboard the LoS, frequently awol due to the phenomina that is rl.

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Thursday, October 16, 2008 2:14 PM

FREELANCERTEX


sorry to hear that. I can understand why you don't like working around the house, but why in the world don't you like free time?



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Thursday, October 16, 2008 2:32 PM

LEOPARDFLAN


No me gusta nada tiempo libre!

I don't like NOT having free time :P. And I meant homework...

(yes I really am that bad at speaking spanish)

Aiko Kitahoshi, passenger aboard the LoS, frequently awol due to the phenomina that is rl.

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Thursday, October 16, 2008 2:34 PM

FREELANCERTEX


I know what you meant by it in *english* but...

i dont think it translates into spanish like that...least not from what i remember, cuz, i *think*--and this is going off memory here--you have to specify i dont like *having* no free time, so you have to say "i dont like not having any free time" cuz otherwise its just a double negative or something like that....i'm rambling again.



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Thursday, October 16, 2008 2:41 PM

LEOPARDFLAN


I know that we recently learned how to express negativos, and that sometimes you have to use double negatives en espanol simply because "that's what makes it mexican". And no, the teach isn't really a retard like that, she just says that because it's funny, and there's even a story behind that, lolz.

Aiko Kitahoshi, passenger aboard the LoS, frequently awol due to the phenomina that is rl.

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Thursday, October 16, 2008 2:43 PM

HELL'S KITTEN


Quote:

Originally posted by LeopardFlan:
No me gusta nada tiempo libre!

"No me gusto" I believe it is.
Unless you're trying for some odd third person...
...which still wouldn't be correct.
"Gusto" is the proper first person conjugation of the verb "gustar".

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Thursday, October 16, 2008 2:53 PM

LEOPARDFLAN


Ah, thankee ^_^. (gusto gusto gusto gusto gusto... gots to try to remember that!)



















(promptly forgets)

Aiko Kitahoshi, passenger aboard the LoS, frequently awol due to the phenomina that is rl.

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Thursday, October 16, 2008 4:06 PM

FREELANCERTEX


Quote:

Originally posted by LeopardFlan: use double negatives en espanol simply because "that's what makes it mexican".

LOLZ!! XD that's awesome.


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Thursday, October 16, 2008 4:17 PM

LEOPARDFLAN


Yep. One of her former students was always saying that. Like, he was really smart and got stuff instantly, and he got annoyed at the other stupider kids and whenever they spent a while not getting it, he'd lose his temper and say "that's what makes it mexican!!"

Aiko Kitahoshi, passenger aboard the LoS, frequently awol due to the phenomina that is rl.

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Thursday, October 16, 2008 4:51 PM

FREELANCERTEX


lolz, sounds like a jackass. I had a couple kids like that in one of my spanish classes. they thought they were hot shit @_@ i love people like that.


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Friday, October 17, 2008 5:05 AM

ZEEK


Happy Friday everybody!

*lights up ZeeBug signal* we haven't seen her around in a while. I'm betting there's some lurking going on.

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Friday, October 17, 2008 5:22 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


All this Friday and no leaving early, hiding in my office, or napping at lunch time. Gotta actually work today.

Oh well. Bound to happen I guess.



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Friday, October 17, 2008 6:04 AM

FREELANCERTEX


MY SERENITY POSTER CAME!!!!!! *sprints outside to get it*


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Friday, October 17, 2008 6:28 AM

HELL'S KITTEN


Sorry, Zeek, but I felt I had to defend you here:

http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=8&t=35127&m=646985#646985

Sorry if I over-stepped my bounds.

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Friday, October 17, 2008 7:03 AM

MSB


Morning all

Wow do I hate early meetings

oooh Zeek defended by the ninja kitten no less.. people will learn to tread carefully now:)And I think you we're very nice in your defense

Our Zeek is not a troll!!



____________________________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”-Dave Barry


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Friday, October 17, 2008 7:10 AM

HELL'S KITTEN


Quote:

Originally posted by MSB:
.. people will learn to tread carefully now:)

((snerk)) Ever the optimist.

No, MsB-soon-to-be-A, people won't learn anything. They'll just continue in their self-centered, belligerent, ignorant ways since the concepts of "shame" and "respect" are too archaic for them to grasp.

-HCK (Hell's Cranky Kitten) XD

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Friday, October 17, 2008 8:41 AM

ZEEK


Thanks no bounds being overstepped. I just stopped reading that thread after I stopped watching the show. The writing on that show just irked me to no end. Especially because I felt they had a real talent in Summer and real potential by having the Terminator franchise to play with. They ended up making a show that's going no where though. Plus summer is given a very disjointed character that in some cases has no expression because she's a robot then at other times they let her loose for just a short while. Bah I hope the show dies. I don't think it's good for Summer or for the Terminator franchise.

Anyway I'll at least post in the thread one more time to reply to that post.

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Friday, October 17, 2008 9:46 AM

MSB


Yeah just call me Pollyanna:)

HUGS Zeek well that's practical:)

____________________________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”-Dave Barry


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Friday, October 17, 2008 10:04 AM

KELKHIL


Quote:

Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:

-HCK (Hell's California Kitten) XD



OMG Proof!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have proof!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



(Runs the hell out of the Thread before he gets his ass kicked)



Some men just wanna watch the world burn


Zombie Killing, Ninja in Training Kelkhil
The Shirtless Forsaken



Member of the Coalition for HK - Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow.

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Friday, October 17, 2008 10:43 AM

FREELANCERTEX


*follows Kel before violence ensues*


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Friday, October 17, 2008 11:44 AM

HELL'S KITTEN


Quote:

Originally posted by Kelkhil:
OMG Proof!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have proof!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

......doooood...... we've / I've / we've never tried to hide that....

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Friday, October 17, 2008 12:03 PM

LEOPARDFLAN


-hides in a corner-

EDIT- Got ninja'd by the master

-bows to HK's speedyness-

Aiko Kitahoshi, passenger aboard the LoS, frequently awol due to the phenomina that is rl.

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