GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Funny movie quotes

POSTED BY: OPPYH
UPDATED: Monday, December 8, 2008 08:54
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Thursday, October 30, 2008 5:47 PM

OPPYH


The Princess Bride has many, many quotable lines, but here's my favorite:


Inigo-Give us the gate key

Guard-I have no gate key

Inigo-Fezzik tear his arms off

Guard-Oh you mean this gate key!



What funny movie quotes do you have?



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Thursday, October 30, 2008 6:48 PM

FREEBROWNCOAT


The days of me taking you seriously have certainly come to a middle.

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Thursday, October 30, 2008 11:41 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN


Shoot yourself in the head.

Both times, in Mom And Dad Save The World.

Plus the tricky engraving on the Light Grenades.

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Friday, October 31, 2008 3:55 AM

DARKFLY


Kiss Kiss Bang Bang:

Harry: "Still gay?"
Gay Perry: "Me? No. I'm knee-deep in p****. I just like the name so much, I can't get rid of it."


Harry: "Oh Wow. Woo. It's tiny. Is this real?"
Perry: "Yeah, it's a Derringer. It's loaded. I call it my faggot gun."
Harry: "Because..."
Perry: "Because its only good for a couple shots, then you gotta drop it for something better. You asked, Chief."


Hot Rod:

Cathy:"Why do you call yourself Voltron, Dave?"
Dave:"I don't know Cathy, maybe because it's *super* bad ass?"


Anchorman:
Brian Fantana: "No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good."
Ron Burgundy: "It's quite pungent."
Brian Fantana: "Oh yeah."
Ron Burgundy: "It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way."
Brian Fantana: "Yep."
Ron Burgundy: "Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline."
Brian Fantana: "They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time."
[cheesy grin]
Ron Burgundy: "That doesn't make sense."


Ron Burgundy: "Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast."
Champ Kind: "It jumped up a notch."
Ron Burgundy: "It did, didn't it?"
Brick Tamland: "Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron Burgundy: "I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?"
Brick Tamland: "Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident."
Ron Burgundy: "Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder."


Brick Tamland: "I love... carpet."
[pause]
Brick Tamland: "I love... desk."
Ron Burgundy: "Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?"
Brick Tamland: "I love lamp."
Ron Burgundy: "Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?"
Brick Tamland: "I love lamp. I love lamp."



---------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.myspace.com/darkfly7
Knightfly on Xfire, www.xfire.com/profile/knightfly/

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Friday, October 31, 2008 7:54 AM

WHOZIT


I've seen the future! He's a balled headed man from New York!

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Friday, October 31, 2008 2:40 PM

THESOMNAMBULIST


Ah... well:

From Big Trouble in Little China.

Jack Burton: You know what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like this?
Thunder: Who?
Jack Burton: Jack Burton. *Me*!

Jack Burton: Everybody relax, I'm here

Jack Burton: Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine, because I can't concentrate when you do that.

Jack Burton: Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning... If I'm not back by dawn... call the president.

Jack Burton: Son of a bitch must pay!

From Innerspace

Lt. Tuck Pendleton: I'm inside you! Right now, inside you! Inside your body!
Jack Putter: [stands up] No! Somebody help me! I'M POSESSED!

Dr. Greenbush: Well, Jack, good news. I think we can rule out demonic posession among your ailments.
Jack Putter: But, the little voice from inside was talking to me.
Dr. Greenbush: See, that's just it. Demons talk THROUGH you - not TO you.

The Cowboy singing:
"I'm an old cow hen, from the Rio Gren,
but my legs not bowed and my skin's not tan'
I'm a cowboy whose never seen a cow,
can't rope a steer coz I don't know how...
I'm not for to start learning now...
Yippe Yeehaw Ohio!"

and from The Burbs.
Art Wiengartner: [Ray is trying to jimmy the door open with a store credit card] Where did you learn to do that?
Ray Peterson: I *don't* know how to do this.
[the credit card breaks]
Art Wiengartner: That's a shit store anyway.

Ray Peterson: I've been blown up, take me to the hospital.
[Lays on a gurney]
Ray Peterson: Take me to a hospital, I'm sick. What...?
[Jumps up, throws the gurney in back of an ambulance than jumps on top of it]
Carol Peterson: Honey? I'll just find out what hospital they're taking you to and then I'll... Follow right along. Okay?
Ray Peterson: [Laying face down on the gurney] Okay, honey.

From DUCK SOUP:
Rufus T. Firefly: Remember men you're fighting for this woman's honour... Which is more than she ever did.

Rufus T.Firefly Say Emily d'you suppose I could have a lock of your hair?
Mrs Teasdale shyly Why Rufus, I had no idea..
Rufus T. Firefly ...I'm letting you off lightly - I was going to ask you for the whole wig!

Rufus T. Firefly: Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You better beat it - I hear they're going to tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.


And just about every line from SOME LIKE IT HOT!!!
Sugar: Real diamonds! They must be worth their weight in gold!

Jerry: Now you've done it! Now you have done it!
Joe: Done what?
Jerry: You tore off one of my chests!

Joe: So you got pinched in the elevator, so what? Would you rather be picking lead out of your navel?



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Sunday, November 2, 2008 11:54 AM

FREELANCERTEX


lmao, big trouble in little china and innerspace XD

Big Trouble in Little China:

Egg Shen: It will come out no more!
Jack: WHAT? HUH? What'll come out no more??

Good Morning Vietnam:

Adrian: Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.

Quigley Down Under:

Crazy Cora: You know, if we're lost, you can tell me.
Quigley: We're lost.
Crazy Cora: I can take bad news. Just tell me straight.
Quigley: I don't know where the hell we are.
Crazy Cora: No sense takin' time to make it sound better than it is.
Quigley: I reckon we're goin' in circles.
Crazy Cora: Wire things up and I'll see right through. So, just tell me honestly. Are we lost?
Quigley: Nope. I know exactly where we are.
Crazy Cora: That's good, 'cause, frankly, I was gettin' a little worried.
Quigley: I don't know where we're goin' but there's no use bein' late.

Major Ashley-Pitt: In our experience, Americans are uncouth misfits who should be run out of their own barbaric country.
Quigley: Well, Lieutenant...
Major Ashley-Pitt: Major.
Quigley: Major. We already run the misfits outta our country. We sent 'em back to England.



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Sunday, November 2, 2008 12:04 PM

FREELANCERTEX


gotta get Kelly's Heroes in there ^_^

Oddball: Hey, man.
Big Joe: What are you doing?
Oddball: I'm drinking wine and eating cheese, and catching some rays, you know.
Big Joe: What's happening?
Oddball: Well, the tank's broke and they're trying to fix it.
Big Joe: Well, then, why the hell aren't you up there helping them?
Oddball: [chuckles] Aw man, I only ride 'em, I don't know what makes 'em work.

Oddball: Well, it doesn't look like there's any bridges left still up.
Tank Crewman: [pointing at a map] Hey, what's that?
Oddball: That's a bridge.
Moriarity: Yeah...but even so, we've still got a river to cross [points] right over there.
Oddball: Well this is a railroad bridge, ain't it?
Moriarity: Sure.
Oddball: Well, then, beautiful. We roll onto the tracks and right over the mother bridge.
Moriarity: 'Right over the mother bridge.' Sure. Suppose the bridge ain't there.
Oddball: Aw, man...don't hit me with them negative waves so early in the morning.





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Sunday, November 2, 2008 4:54 PM

MACBAKER


Quote:
Originally posted by OPPYH:
The Princess Bride has many, many quotable lines, but here's my favorite:


Inigo-Give us the gate key

Guard-I have no gate key

Inigo-Fezzik tear his arms off

Guard-Oh you mean this gate key!


What funny movie quotes do you have?


Fezzik: "I'm with the Brute Squad."

Miracle Max: "You are the Brute Squad!"

I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.

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Sunday, November 2, 2008 9:08 PM

OPPYH


Quote:
Originally posted by freelancertex:
Quigley Down Under

Crazy Cora: You know, if we're lost, you can tell me.
Quigley: We're lost.
Crazy Cora: I can take bad news. Just tell me straight.
Quigley: I don't know where the hell we are.
Crazy Cora: No sense takin' time to make it sound better than it is.
Quigley: I reckon we're goin' in circles.
Crazy Cora: Wire things up and I'll see right through. So, just tell me honestly. Are we lost?
Quigley: Nope. I know exactly where we are.
Crazy Cora: That's good, 'cause, frankly, I was gettin' a little worried.
Quigley: I don't know where we're goin' but there's no use bein' late.


Brilliant! LOL.

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Sunday, November 2, 2008 9:14 PM

OPPYH


Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:
Fezzik: "I'm with the Brute Squad."

Miracle Max: "You are the Brute Squad!"


Good one. Here's another:
Inigo-You wouldn't happen to have six fingers on your right hand would you?

Wesley-Do you always begin conversations this way?

And:

Humperdink-To the death
Wesley-No, to the pain.
Humperdink-I'm not sure I'm familiar with that phrase.

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Sunday, November 2, 2008 9:54 PM

SHINYGOODGUY


One of my fav movies, The Princess Bride.

"Inconceivable!"

"I'm Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die."

A Fish Called Wanda:

"What was the middle one again?"

"Stupid Limeys, drive on the right side of the road."

"It's K-K-K-Ken, He's coming to K-K-K-Kill me."

Shiny! Let's be bad guys!

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Sunday, November 2, 2008 10:01 PM

SHINYGOODGUY


Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid:

At the top of a cliff, looking down into a river.

Kid: "I can't swim. You happy now."

Butch: (Laughing) "Swim!?, the fall alone will kill ya"

Abott: "Did you ever go to school, stupid?"

Costello: "Yeah, but I come out the same way"

As Good As It Gets:

"Go somewhere else for crazy, we're all stocked up here"

Shiny! Let's be bad guys!

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Monday, November 3, 2008 12:58 AM

FREMDFIRMA


Thanks for that, FREELANCERTEX, Oddball was my moms second favorite movie character, for some reason he just gave her the giggles.
(She had a crush on Chuck Norris *eyeroll*)

I am suprised no one mentioned The Outlaw Josey Wales, you can bust out just about any line IN it for hilarity, especially anything by Chief Dan George...

Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.

Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

Best of show (for me) tho, was this little bit.

Lone Watie: How did you know which one was goin' to shoot first?

Josie Wales: Well, that one in the center: he had a flap holster and he was in no itchin' hurry. And the one second from the left: he had scared eyes, he wasn't gonna do nothin'. But that one on the far left: he had crazy eyes. Figured him to make the first move.

Lone Watie: How 'bout the one on the right?

Josie Wales: Never paid him no mind; you were there.
...
...
...
Lone Watie: I could have missed.



-F

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Monday, November 3, 2008 5:02 AM

FREELANCERTEX


Quote:
Originally posted by OPPYH: Brilliant! LOL.

Lolz, yeah, a lotta *brilliant* moments in quigley XD love it.

LOL princess bride!!! love that movie

"Inconceivable!!"
"You keep on using that word, I don't think it means what you think it means."

"You've fallen victim to one of the classic plunders! the first of which is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly *less* well known is this: never go up against a SICILIAN when DEATH is on the line!! AHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHA-" *drops dead* XD

you're welcome for the Oddball contribution Frem XD i think half of why he's so funny are his mannerisms lolz.


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Monday, November 3, 2008 12:37 PM

DONCOAT


Elwood: "We're 106 miles from Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses."

Jake: "Hit it."


Tripper: "It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter!"


Sheriff Bart: "Hey, where the white women at?"


Al Czervik: "Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity."


President Muffley: "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm pointin' right at it!

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Monday, November 3, 2008 12:44 PM

FREELANCERTEX


lol, blues brothers XD




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Monday, November 3, 2008 1:26 PM

LWAVES


Life Of Brian:

"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy".

Holy Grail:

CLERIC: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'

Spinal Tap:

NIGEL: "I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach and its sort of in between really its a Mach piece really."
MARTI: "What's it called?"
NIGEL: "This piece is called Lick My Love-Pump".



"I don't believe in suicide, but if you'd like to try it it might cheer me up to watch."

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Monday, November 3, 2008 1:53 PM

FREELANCERTEX


LOL i was looking at the holy grail and thinking "i should post something from that...but there are too many good lines to sort through.." thanks XD

my friends and i used to reenact that movie all the frakin time XD

How bout Iron Man:

Christine Everheart: You must be the famous Pepper Potts.
Pepper: I am.
Christine Everheart: After all these years Tony still has you picking up the dry-cleaning.
Pepper: I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires, including occasionally taking out the trash. *burn*

"I'm sorry, this is the Funvee, the Hum-Drumvee's back there."

Tony: I feel like you're driving me to a court martial, this is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're gonna pull over and snuff me, what you're not allowed to talk? Hey, Forrest.
Airman: We can talk, sir.
Tony: Oh, I see, so it's personal.
Senior Airman: No, you intimidate them.
Tony: Good God, you're a woman. I honestly I couldn't have called that. I mean I apologize but isn't that what we're goin' for here? I thought of you as a soldier first.
Senior Airman: I'm an Airman.
Tony: Well, you have excellent bone structure, I'm kind of having a hard time *not* looking at you now, is that weird?
*laughter*
Tony: Come on, it's okay, laugh. Hey!
A1C: Sir, I have a question to ask you.
Tony: Yes, please.
A1C: Is it true you went twelve for twelve with last year's Maxim cover models?
Tony: That is an excellent question. Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict but fortunately the Christmas cover was twins. Anything else?
*Airman raises his hand*
Tony: You're kidding me with the hand up, right?
Airman: Is it cool if I take a picture with you?
Tony: Yes. It's very cool.

Jarvis: Rendering complete.
Tony: *seeing gold-painted rendering of suit* Little ostentatious don't you think?
Jarvis: *deadpan* What was I thinking? You're usually so discreet.


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Monday, November 3, 2008 7:13 PM

FREMDFIRMA


Makes it even funnier if you know that Downey ad-libbed a fair chunk of that cause the dialogue script was incomplete.

The one that left me on the floor was the "I want an american cheeseburger" bit, that just slew me.

-F

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008 5:45 AM

FREELANCERTEX


lol

"I want two things. First, I want an American cheeseburger *significant pause* and the second--"
"that's enough"
"--is not what you think; i want a press conference" XD

"Cheeseburger first." very important XD

sometimes u can get the funniest lines from adlib XD


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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 12:00 PM

FREELANCERTEX


not as funny as most, but i needed to bump the topic.

Hitch

Vance: [grabs Hitch by the wrist] You see what I'm doing? This is what I'm about - power suit, power tie, power steering. People can wince, cry, beg, but eventually they do what I want.
Hitch: Oh! So that's, like, a metaphor?
Vance: Oh, yeah.
Hitch: Right. Well, see, I'm more of a literal kind of guy. So when I do this...
[he reverses the grip, twists Vance's arm back and slams him on the table]
Hitch: This is more like me saying that I will literally break your shit *off* if you ever touch me again. Okay, pumpkin?

Robin Hood: Men in Tights

Robin Hood: [seeing Blinkin the blind servant] BLINKIN!
Blinkin: Master Robin, Is that you?
Robin Hood: Yes.
Blinkin: What back from the Crusades?
Robin Hood: Yes.
Blinkin: And alive?
Robin Hood: [pause] yes.




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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 12:11 PM

WAKEUPSOON


Robin Hood: Men in Tights! I love that film so much.

[Blinkin falls out of a tree]
Blinkin: Its a miracle, I can see!
[Walks into a tree]
Blinkin: Nope, I was wrong.

[Robin has just outwitted the Sheriff of Rottingham, resulting in him being upside down on a horse]
Sheriff of Rottingham: I was mad before Robin, but now I'm really pissed off.
Attchoo: Pissed off? If I was that close to a horses weiner, I'd be worried about getting pissed on.

Loved. :D

--- O.o ---

This is not my signature, I have to write this every time I post.

Smile && Nod, it makes it seem like you know what's going on.

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008 12:14 PM

FREELANCERTEX


King illegal forest to pig wild kill in it a is!!


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Thursday, November 6, 2008 5:28 PM

FREELANCERTEX


time to bump again

Ocean's Eleven

Bartender: [over the noise in the background] How's the game going?
Rusty: Longest hour of my life.
Bartender: [not hearing him] What?
Rusty: I'm running away with your wife.
Bartender: [smiles and flashes a thumbs-up] Great!

Rusty: You scared?
Linus: You suicidal?
Rusty: Only in the morning.

Reuben: I know more about casino security than any man alive, I invented it, and it cannot be beaten. They got cameras, they got locks, they got watchers, they got timers, they got vaults, they got enough armed personnel to occupy Paris! [pause] Okay, bad example.

and one of my personal favorites...

Reuben: You're Bobby Caldwell's kid. From Chicago. It's nice there, do you like it?
Linus: Yeah.
Reuben: That's wonderful. Get in the goddamn house.


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Thursday, November 6, 2008 6:00 PM

CAUSAL


Not sure I've got this one totally right, but: "Either I have a new found respect for life or I'm in love with your daughter."

Plus it's even funnier taken TOTALLY out of context.

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- Vote JonnyQuest/Causal, for Benevolent Co-Dictator of Earth; together, toward a brighter tomorrow!

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Friday, November 7, 2008 12:59 AM

FREMDFIRMA


From Ever After and honestly, this scene left me on the floor in howling giggles, still does.

Gypsy Leader: M'lady, you may have anything you can carry.
Danielle: [glances at the Prince] May I have your word on that, sir?
Gypsy Leader: [considers for a moment] On my honor as a gypsy, whatever you can carry.
[Danielle lifts the Prince over her shoulders and begins to walk off with him. The gypsies laugh]
Gypsy Leader: [Laughing] Wait! Please! Come back! I'll give you a horse!

-F

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Friday, November 7, 2008 1:13 PM

GORRAMGROUPIE


I'm surprised no one's done Better Off Dead:

"This is really an excellent liquor, Jenny!
BOOM!
"Gee, Ricky, I'm really sorry your mom blew up..."

"Do you realize the street value of this mountain!"

"Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn."

'Who are you and how did you get in here?' 'I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.'
Police Squad

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Friday, November 7, 2008 3:00 PM

MSA


Where's my two dollars?

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Friday, November 7, 2008 3:38 PM

FREELANCERTEX


teeheehee, Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

Ferris: Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second.

Ferris: The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?"
Cameron: Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home.
Ferris: [to the camera] If you had access to a car like this, would you take it back right away? [beat] Neither would I.

Ferris: I'm so disappointed in Cameron! Twenty bucks says he's in his car right now debating on whether or not to go out.
Cameron: [in his car] He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is - Alright I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, alright I'll go. Shit! [Turns the engine on then turns it off and hits the passenger seat] God Damn it! [Turns the car on and revs it up] Ahhhhhh! Forget it! [Gets out of the car] That's it!

Rooney: What's the score?
Pizza Man: Nothin' nothin'.
Rooney: [not really listening] Who's winning?
Pizza Man: The Bears.




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Saturday, November 8, 2008 9:56 AM

MSA


Four Weddings and a Funeral
Young Bridesmaid: What's bonking?
Scarlett: Well, it's kinda like table tennis, only with slightly smaller balls.

Scarlett:( getting a job in a shop that sells rubber clothes) They say rubber's mainly for perverts. Don't know why. Think it's very practical, actually. I mean, you spill anything on it and it just comes off. I suppose that could be why the perverts like it.

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Saturday, November 8, 2008 8:33 PM

OPPYH


Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
Where's my two dollars?


Better off Dead? Nice one MsA. That film is still ahead of it's time with the funny:)

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Sunday, November 9, 2008 8:57 AM

FREELANCERTEX


LOL love that second Scarlett quote MsA XD


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Friday, November 21, 2008 5:24 AM

CLJOHNSTON108


A Life Less Ordinary

Robert: Right you asshole, I've got your daughter here, and I'm gonna send her back in pieces if... OH! I'm sorry, madam. I must have dialed the wrong number. No, I haven't got your daughter here, I've got someone else's. ... No, we're not married. Yes, I've read the same thing, it's very hard to find suitable young men these days. ... Well, I'm sure your daughter's very nice, in principle I've got no objection to meeting her...
[Celine hangs up the phone]
Robert: What is the problem?

O'Reilly: Our fee for the recovery of your daughter is... one hundred thousand dollars.
Naville: That's a lot of money.
O'Reilly: Five thousand in advance. The rest is cash on delivery - no daughter, no dough.
Jackson: And naturally we'd operate on a sliding scale, whereby if we only bring back part of your daughter, we only get part of the money.
O'Reilly: That's enough, Jackson.
Jackson: No, I mean if he's cut her ears off and we can't find them, we'll knock a couple thousand off the tariff. More for a limb, obviously.
O'Reilly: Jackson.
Jackson: Sorry.

Robert: You... you're going to kill me?
Jackson: Yeah.
[Robert cries hysterically]
Robert: Well then I don't see why I should dig!
Jackson: If you dig, I promise you when the time comes I'll shoot you through the head.
[Robert laughs bitterly]
Jackson: Now look, you don't like that? I can just shoot you through the testicles right now, you can bleed to death, I'll dig the grave, it's up to you.

Jackson: Have you ever felt like you're not in control of events?
Robert [looking down at the shovel he's being forced to dig his own grave with]: Yes!

Al: Nice-looking woman.
Robert: She isn't my type.
Al: What are you talking about? Look at yourself. You're nothing. You're nobody. You're wanted in connection with a violent crime. You're cleaning the floor of a diner. She is an intelligent, passionate, beautiful, rich woman. The issue of whether or not she's your type is not one that you're likely to have to resolve in this world... or, indeed, the next, since she will be going to some heaven for glamorous pussy, and you will be cleaning the floor of a diner in hell.
Robert: I guess so.
Al: So why are you even thinking about it?

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Friday, November 21, 2008 6:27 AM

FREELANCERTEX


The Untouchables:

Malone: Why do you want to join the force?
Williamson: To protect and s...to protect and serve. to protect and ser...
Malone: Please don't search for the yearbook answer, eh? Just tell me what you think?
Williamson: Well, I think i....could help...
Malone: yeah?
Williamson: ...with the force.
Malone: You think you can help?
Williamson: Yeah.
Malone: Thank you.
[Williamson leaves]
Malone: (under his breath) There goes the next chief of police.

Malone: Why do you want to join the force?
Stone: To protect the property and citizenry of...
Malone: Oh please don't waste my time with that bullshit. (looks at Stone) Where are you from?
Stone: South side.
Malone: Stone. George Stone.
Stone: Yeah.
Malone: What's your *real* name?
Stone: (smirks) That is my real name.
Malone: No, what was it before you changed it?
Stone: (pause) Giuseppe Petri.
Malone: Ah, I knew it. (turnes to Ness) That's all you need is one thievin' wop on the team.
Stone: (taps Malone on the shoulder) Hey, what's that you say?
Malone: I said you're a lyin' member of a no good race.
[Stone slaps the clipboard out of Malone's hand and draws his revolver before Malone or Ness can move]
Stone: Much better than you, you stinkin' Irish pig.
Malone: (to Ness) Oh, I like him.
[Stone, confused, lowers his weapon]
Ness: (slightly shaken) Yeah, I like him too.

XD LOVE that scene. XD just effing love it.


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Friday, November 21, 2008 1:59 PM

MACBAKER


Ashe (Evil Dead): "Alright you primitive screw-heads, listen up. See this? This is my boomstick! It's a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan; retails for about one hundred nine, ninety-five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart, shop S-Mart!"

I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.

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Friday, November 21, 2008 2:07 PM

MACBAKER


Chuck Bartowski: Referring to Casey's Crown Victoria "It's very shiny!"

John Casey: "you're damn right she's shiny!"




I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.

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Friday, November 21, 2008 2:13 PM

MACBAKER


John Casey: to Lester and Jeff, "We could do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is I shove Chuck's foot up your ass."

Jeff: "What's the hard way?"

John Casey: "I use MY foot!"


Chuck: "I'm thankful that Bryce Larkin is dead and is not currently in my bedroom making out with my new girlfriend."

Casey: "Excuse me..."

Morgan: "Wow, buddy, that was um... really... dark."

Captain Awesome: "And specific!"

I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.

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Thursday, November 27, 2008 2:23 PM

FREELANCERTEX


saw this lingering near the bottom, figured i'd bump it back to the top with some Iron Man ^_^

Obadiah Stane: Nice try, Tony, but my suit is more advanced in every way.
Tony Stark: How'd you solve the icing problem?
Obadiah Stane: Icing problem? (his systems shut down as ice builds up on the suit)
Tony Stark: Might wanna look into it. (knocks Obi's suit on the helmet, sending him plummeting back towards the ground)

Christine Everheart: You've been called the DaVinci of our time; what do you say to that?
Tony Stark: Absolutely ridiculous, I don't paint.

Rhodey: (jogging up to Tony's humvee) Hey, Tony.
Tony Stark: I'm sorry, this is the fun-vee. The hum-drum-vee's back there.


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Sunday, November 30, 2008 9:22 AM

FREELANCERTEX


ooooookay bumping again XD

*Tony finishes buckling his arm into his flight stabilizer as Pepper enters the shop*
Pepper: I've been buzzing you, didn't you hear the intercom? Obadiah's upstairs.
Tony: Good, tell him i'll be right up.
Pepper: *sees the machine* I thought you said you were done making weapons.
Tony: It isn't. This is a flight stabilizer. It's completely harmless. *hits a button to charge the stabilizer. it goes off and blasts him across the shop and off camera* I didn't expect that...


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Monday, December 8, 2008 5:58 AM

SHINYGOODGUY


A League of Their Own:

Tom Hanks driving the team bus turns to the chaperon Ms. Cuthbert:

"Loved you in the Wizard of Oz."

"There's no crying in baseball!"

Marx Brothers' Room Service:

"Well he keeps dying, then reviving, then dying again. Jumping Butterballs, what's going on here!"

Beetlejuice:

When BJ is about to marry Lydia, he's looking for the ring in his pockets and pulls out a finger with a ring on it. He looks at Lydia, who has a disgusted look on her face and says:
"She meant nothing to me, Honey, nothing to me."

Oscar:

"Lisa is gonna marry Dr. Poole, Theresa is gonna marry Anthony, and the bag with the lingerie is really a bag full of jewels."

"Now you've got it!"

"Got it?, I don't even know what I'm talking about."

or this one:

"Gee, can't I stay boss, every time I leave I fall behind."

"Yeah, but shutup."

Casablanca:

Renault walks over to Rick and says:

"Rick, I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, to find that there's gambling going on here."
The groupier walks over to Renault and tells him:
"Here are your winnings, sir." He pockets his cash and continues closing Rick's Cafe Amercain.


Tawabawho?

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Monday, December 8, 2008 8:54 AM

FREELANCERTEX


lolz, tom hanks' lines in League of Their Own were priceless XD

House:

Dr. House: [to clinic patients in waiting room] Hello, sick people! and their loved ones. In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House; you can call me Greg. I am one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning.
Dr. Cuddy: Short and sweet, grab a file.
Dr. House: [points to Cuddy] This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board(emphasis to make it sound like 'bored')...certified diagnostician with a double specialty in infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor currently employed at this hospital who is forced to be here against his will. [turns to Cuddy] That *is* true, isn't it? [turns back to crowd] But not to worry, for most of you this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. If you're being particularly annoying. you may see me reach for this [holds up a pill bottle]: This is Vicodin. It's mine; you can't have any. And no, I do not have a pain management problem, i have a *pain* problem...but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell...so who wants me? [everyone's silent] And who wants to wait for one of the other two guys? [everyone raises their hands]

XD i know its from a show and not a movie, but it's the best fucking line in the entire series XD i love it


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