Imponderables: April Showers? by MsA

Watched "Taken" with Liam Neeson last night.
he plays the "Ruffled Man" with an edge very well.
Good action flick.
Very sad about Natasha Richardson's death over at Mont Tremblant.
Theirs was a solid relationship by all accounts.
First softball tourney of the year on the weekend; with rain in the forecast...booooooo.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009 5:46 AM

So, MsA or anyone else who knows...are there any good studies on the effects of moving around a lot as a child? I mean there are military kids who move around a lot right? Anyway the reason I ask is a friend is trying to plan out the next 10 - 20 years which I find laughable but whatever. One of her points was that her and her fiance like traveling and moving around a lot. They decided that when they have a kid they will still pick up and move all over the country/world until the kid is 10 years old and then they'll try to pick a place to live so he/she can form lasting friendships. I don't know about that one. I know when I was 7 and my brother was 10 and we moved from CA to IL it was pretty traumatic for both of us. Trying to make all new friends is not necessarily easy.

Are there any studies that say moving around has in positive or negative effects on a childs social development? Just curious cause I find it a little selfish of them, but I don't know if there are facts to back that up.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009 7:14 AM

HELL'S KITTEN

((peeks in to see if it's safe))...

((hides in a dark corner))

((lurk, lurk))

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sara013

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Thursday, April 16, 2009 7:56 AM

I've not seen any studies on your question Zeek, but I've seen the effects of constant moving on several types of children and families. If the family is stable and supportive there is little concern as the children will adjust as they should. It is the unstable families that have issues. If the family is moving because of legal issues, substance issues, or emotional issues then there is a greater possibility of discontent for the child. It does sound a bit selfish, moving kids and not allowing them to set roots. But having known a bunch of military families that were fairly well adjusted I can say that there is little to worry about. Kids adapt easier than we think.

*Leaves chairs, sheets, and pillows for construction of an appropriate hideout/castle/fortess of solitude*

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The country is making a big mistake not teaching kids to cook and raise a garden and build fires.
-Loretta Lynn

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Thursday, April 16, 2009 8:19 AM

Here you go
just click on th efull article pdf in the box on the right
http://jpl.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/1/4/403
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6VC9-3V92JXS
-5&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=a45d234a184dfb0959948b49aeea5011

Pretty much says what NV just said. it's still really hard on the kids. They don't do well developing lasting friendships and they depending on their level of social sophistication they can be seriously withdrawn. Basically if the family is stable and works hard to develop social skills and friendship making and sustaining skills the kid will likely be ok.

HUGS Navy... ok Wee Ted. That is so the most adorable thing:)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009 8:20 AM

YINYANG

You were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. It happens.

Zeek - Here's a study on Third-Culture Kids that you might find interesting:

http://www.iss.edu/pages/kids.html

Edit: MsA beat me to it!

Anecdotally, though, I'd say that it is really hard, and while the kids end up turning out okay, the effects of moving can last pretty much for the rest of their lives. My dad was a military brat, and he has very few long-lasting relationships outside of family and work.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009 8:47 AM

So, while it's something they can likely overcome without much issue it basically comes down to who takes the emotional hit. The parents who would like to move around and enjoy exploring new places or the kids who would like to keep their friends. I don't have any kids yet so I'll stick with being smug and judgmental. I mean it's fine if they have to move to get a job or to provide for the family or something like that, but moving for funsies when you know it's going to be hard on your child just seems wrong to me.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009 9:03 AM

Naw, I'd be a bit defensive for a kid too. Kids need roots. They need memories of trees they climbed and the theater they would go see movies with their friends, and later girlfriends. Kids need to keep ties with their friends and friends families.

It is sad. But then again we need kids to experience the world too.

Kinda bugs me that the parents would move about mostly for fun sake.

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The country is making a big mistake not teaching kids to cook and raise a garden and build fires.
-Loretta Lynn

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Thursday, April 16, 2009 9:10 AM

I think it's their reason for moving that bothers all of us. If you know moving is going to make it hard for your kids, but your best career choices are in a job that moves, that's one thing... but to move because it makes you happy regardless of how it affects the kids or hurts them..not cool

One of the students I was working with is autistic and does very poorly with change. He was in a good situation where he was really successful. Mom didn't like living in a small town so middle of the semester at school she uproots dad, kids, etc and moves. Kid has major problems and it's taking months to get him from virtually catatonic to working so the kid suffers major educational and emotional setbacks so mom can have a bigger city to live in..

I guess I'm of the opinion that once you have kids it's not about you anymore.

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009 9:45 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
I guess I'm of the opinion that once you have kids it's not about you anymore.

Yep I think that hits the nail on the head. Yet most of my friends don't seem to grasp that concept. They seem to be of the mindset that you just throw the kid in a carrier and go back to life as usual. Um...no.

To me if I'm going to have a kid it's because I want to raise a child and pass on what I've learned. Basically I'd be making the choice for at least the next 20ish years to devote my life to helping them. Plus I'm rolling the dice that they could end up with a birth defect, chronic disorder, whatever that could take up darn near every waking moment or my life and that I'm willing to take that responsibility if needed. It's a huge huge huge commitment in my mind and I guess it irks me when I see people take it lightly.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009 10:31 AM

HELL'S KITTEN

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
I guess I'm of the opinion that once you have kids it's not about you anymore.

I only sort of agree with this...

...at some point, you have to still live for yourself, even if you have children. I've seen what happens if you don't. The women who live only for their children become hollow inside, and no matter how well you provide for your child, they see Mommy is no longer there. Not in any sense that really counts. That, I think, can be far more detrimental than switching schools / cities once too often.

I think the key, as with anything, is reasonable balance. Unfortunately, there are a lot of unreasonable people in the world.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009 11:04 AM

oooh good point HK... seen that too. The parent so focused on the child they can't cut the cord or find anything non child related in their life... BAD THING

Let's hear it for balance and reason:)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009 12:48 PM

There are also certain "waypoints" in development that should be carefully handled when choosing to move when you are raising children.
The early to mid teens for example; Moving an adolescent away from a developing social circle in one location to another where a new social circle must be developed can be...well...troublesome.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 4:51 AM

It's a good thing it's Friday today. Cause my will to work is very low. Though I have a scary suspicion that some weekend work might be on the horizon. Which will piss me off since my shit's been done for a while now and it's the people who put everything together who don't know what the hell they're doing. Every meeting we have I just sit there cause I don't know about or have any control over the stuff that's broken. Still I can see weekend meetings coming where I get to just call in and sit there listening to people blabber.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 6:43 AM

EMMARIGBY

Hey guys, sorry to randomly barge into the middle of your imponderings (although I must take the time to read that study sometime MsA, sounds fascinating), but I was wondering if anyone else in here has tried to get into the bar & grill and been denied access? Is it just me who's been banned?! I can get into every other thread except that one! What did I do to offend? I don't remember being very inappropriate, although I might have been very drunk at the time!

Well, I'm off home soon, if anyone cane make there way past those forbidding doors, can you say bye for me?!

___________________

Hissssssssss!

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Friday, April 17, 2009 7:37 AM

Never tried. Heck I didn't even know there were restrictions on threads here. Are there mods with that power? I guess it's strange that I've never even thought about mods here. Everyone tends to stay in line enough that the only person I'd think of with any authority is Haken.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 9:22 AM

NVG here:

It gets that way when there are to many posts for some 'puters to load. possibly try from the alternative

FIREFLYFAN.NET

No work today, YAY!

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 10:01 AM

Great.
Friday.
And the bloody rain is back.
It's unsettling my calm.
Supposed to go on a group bicycle-ride around Stanley Park Seawall tonight.
Won't be happening if it's to damp.
Ah well.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 10:07 AM

the snow finally stopped... yay:)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 10:09 AM

Darn these clouds and light breeze. This harsh weather almost makes it unsuitable for human life.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 10:18 AM

where would you like to be buried???

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 10:22 AM

WAKEUPSOON

Is that an imponderable, or just a threat? :P

~WuS
This is not my signature, I have to write this every time I post.
Smile && Nod, it makes it seem like you know what's going on.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 10:52 AM

I would like to be cremated and my ashes to be scattered in Jessica Alba's bath soap.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 11:04 AM

well mainly I was just threatening Zeek... but hey it could be a ponder

I want to be cremated and have a nice box:)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 11:34 AM

WAKEUPSOON

Tehe .. most imponderables probably start as a teasing of some sort!

Tbh, I haven't given much thought to it .. not expecting to die anytime soon, but if I were to .. no burial, no cremation. Send me to a hospital, use me as a donor.

~WuS
This is not my signature, I have to write this every time I post.
Smile && Nod, it makes it seem like you know what's going on.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 12:05 PM

Really I don't know if I even want a funeral. They're some of the most awkward social situations ever IMO. Luckily I've never had anyone really close to me die yet. Though stuff like my grandparents funerals were awkward enough. I just think making small talk in those times is about the worst torture you could put a mourner through. Managers from my work tend to go to funerals of their employees loved ones. It's supposed to make you feel like your company cares or some shit. That would tick me off to no end. Did you know this person? No. Do you really care? Not really. So get the heck out!

I don't want to give a speech or read a bible verse at my mom's funeral. I wanna be sad and not think about putting on a strong face for all the people I don't know. Heck just thinking about it makes me think I'd much rather ditch the whole thing altogether and deal with the loss on my own.

However, if I have a wife and kids by the time I die and they find that stuff comforting then I'd be fine with them going all out. At that point what the heck do I care? I just feel like the people still alive should be the important part of the equation. I'm not concerned with a special type of flower or whether there's an open coffin. Heck paint a fake mustache on me and set me up like I'm at a wax museum so people can take pictures next to me for all I care.

End funeral rant.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 12:10 PM

NAVYSEILS

I wouldn't mind being donated to science, get all chopped up for the benefit of students or research. Or perhaps turned into one of the crazy anatomy models by Gunther Von Hagens, they're pretty cool.

But as long as I'm dead you could kick me about in the street for all I care, I'll be dead.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 12:26 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Navyseils:
I wouldn't mind being donated to science, get all chopped up for the benefit of students or research. Or perhaps turned into one of the crazy anatomy models by Gunther Von Hagens, they're pretty cool.

But as long as I'm dead you could kick me about in the street for all I care, I'll be dead.

One of my English teacher's in high school said he's not an organ donor, because he's not convinced you can't feel stuff when you're dead. He was like so what if we think we know what brain activity looks like. We still don't know for sure. For all we know everyone getting cut up is screaming "STOP!!!" in their head.

He was an interesting teacher. I told many a story about him around the dinner table that year.

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Friday, April 17, 2009 12:56 PM

ooooh donated to science...good one Navy:)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Saturday, April 18, 2009 6:40 AM

Saturday morning cereal and cartoons

BUMP!

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Saturday, April 18, 2009 6:54 AM

NAVYSEILS

I went to sleep through saturday morning, but I still like the sound of the cereal and cartoons part.

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Saturday, April 18, 2009 7:10 AM

That is because the best thing in the world is being still in your jammies , eating yummy cold cereal, and watching cartoons:)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Saturday, April 18, 2009 12:18 PM

*sigh* all the good cartoons have been discontinued though :\ Ren and Stimpy, the Tick, Spiderman, X-Men, Angry Beavers, looney toons...all gone *nostalgic look to the past*

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Saturday, April 18, 2009 4:31 PM

HELL'S KITTEN

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
I want to be cremated and have a nice box:)

((tries to stifle a snikker))

((so immature))

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Sunday, April 19, 2009 10:32 AM

whats so sniggerful about wanting to be cremated?

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Monday, April 20, 2009 5:04 AM

Monday.

*end transmission*

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The country is making a big mistake not teaching kids to cook and raise a garden and build fires.
-Loretta Lynn

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Monday, April 20, 2009 5:34 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by freelancertex:
*sigh* all the good cartoons have been discontinued though :\ Ren and Stimpy, the Tick, Spiderman, X-Men, Angry Beavers, looney toons...all gone *nostalgic look to the past*

There are new Spiderman and X-Men cartoons. I haven't watched the X-Men one but spectacular spiderman is actually decent. It's on some Disney channel I want to say Disney XD or something like that. My DVR knows where to find it. That's all that matters. Plus this is a good time to jump in. They're rerunning a lot of the first season episodes in the lead up to season 2 starting in May. OK cartoon mode off. Adult mode reactivated.

So, how about that political something or other?

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Monday, April 20, 2009 6:04 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by freelancertex:
*sigh* all the good cartoons have been discontinued though :\ Ren and Stimpy, the Tick, Spiderman, X-Men, Angry Beavers, looney toons...all gone *nostalgic look to the past*

So true. So true.
*Looks back thataway as well*

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Monday, April 20, 2009 6:07 AM

Fudge it all. I'm beginning to think our kids have more of a clue than the adults in charge so screw 'em.

We've seen the Spidey/X-Men stuff of late and it isn't bad. Cartoon Network has classic Tom and Jerry on Sunday morning. We usually catch it but I was up far too early and ended up missing it when I went back to bed.

Boomerang RAWKS!

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The country is making a big mistake not teaching kids to cook and raise a garden and build fires.
-Loretta Lynn

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Monday, April 20, 2009 7:08 AM

um FLt she's snikkering about " nice box" ... which made me laugh and now my co-workers thing I'm nuts (ok they probably already did...gigglesnort)

This is why you buy the old ones on dvd...

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Monday, April 20, 2009 7:10 AM

I was gonna warn you about that but I figured your response had a much more desireable outcome.

Worth it.

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The country is making a big mistake not teaching kids to cook and raise a garden and build fires.
-Loretta Lynn

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Monday, April 20, 2009 7:11 AM

><;;;;

yeah...but i dont think they have The Tick on dvd :P or angry beavers ><;;

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Monday, April 20, 2009 7:16 AM

LOl well sometimes I just miss the connotations, but luckily I have HK there to snicker and remind me...

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Monday, April 20, 2009 9:46 AM

Oh yes, yes they do:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keyw
ords=the+tick&x=8&y=17

Haven't seen any for AB yet.

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The country is making a big mistake not teaching kids to cook and raise a garden and build fires.
-Loretta Lynn

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Monday, April 20, 2009 10:00 AM

*SKAAAWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

*glomps NV*

THAT'S CRAZY!!!

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Monday, April 20, 2009 10:16 AM

Amazon has everything! Is there a rule for that one? Is rule 35 taken?

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Monday, April 20, 2009 12:24 PM

Sadly they are still missing a few series I'd like, but with any luck rule 35 will be enacted soon:)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Tuesday, April 21, 2009 5:37 AM