GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Imponderables: Ridin' For A Fall

POSTED BY: NVGHOSTRIDER
UPDATED: Wednesday, September 30, 2009 16:30
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 6157
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Friday, September 25, 2009 12:13 PM

DANCINGNEKO


CK!!!
Quote:

Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
Hey guys,

Quick hello and goodbye. Thought I’d swing by and see what was up, got distracted by the fucking idiotic “Underworld vs. Twilight” thread, and, sorry, that’s it, I’m hanging up my browncoat for good. I can’t fucking stand the attitude of what seems like the vast majority of Buffy and Firefly fans towards Twilight, and I’m sick to fucking death of being made to feel unwelcome because I happen to like both Twilight and Firefly. So fuck it. I’m out. I’ll miss you guys.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...


NOOOO!! *grabs onto an ankle and becomes teh human ball and chain* Stay! Pwease?! *big ole sad eyes*
I'm sorry to see you leave. I can't say I like Twilight, but that's because of how cliche it came across to me as. But then again, I tend to be demanding my movies -- they have to get me involved with what's going on onscreen...
(And besides, even though I mock the show, I still love everyone I know who love it...I just don't see the attraction.)
Come back and visit us...the imponderables or teh bar-and-grill every so often...we miss you!

MsB: Okay, keep making me jealous that you guys are on the gorramn mainland and get to see everyone! *mockpout*

RUGBUG!!! Whee! How's your horse doing? Any better?

---
Okay, I've got an imponderable that I'm trying to figure out:
If your friends keep insisting that you'd be great in a different, fairly parallel field of work (e.g. teaching grades school instead of middle or high school) and you personally know that you don't fit the critieria well (not uber organized, able to tolerate one group of kids for one period per day, etc.) whom should you listen to? What you know in your gut is the truth, or what (several) friends keep insisiting that you'd be great at?

I'm starting to wonder if I really don't know what I'm talking about with regards to myself, or if everyone is focusing on the larger parts of the picture, and missing the other parts?


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Friday, September 25, 2009 12:16 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


I should have stated "Historically Speaking" as the behavior stems from prehistoric times and isn't as applicable today.

That is one very interesting observation, the manipulation varying depending on who is being manipulated.

Maybe my prejudice stems from being around way too many stupid people. I hate to judge, but that is the only way I can describe them. People who do not have value for their own communication let alone others.

Perhaps my empathy fatigue is more severe than I had previously assessed. Crap...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The country is making a big mistake not teaching kids to cook and raise a garden and build fires.
-Loretta Lynn

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Friday, September 25, 2009 12:31 PM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by Dancingneko:
Okay, I've got an imponderable that I'm trying to figure out:
If your friends keep insisting that you'd be great in a different, fairly parallel field of work (e.g. teaching grades school instead of middle or high school) and you personally know that you don't fit the critieria well (not uber organized, able to tolerate one group of kids for one period per day, etc.) whom should you listen to? What you know in your gut is the truth, or what (several) friends keep insisiting that you'd be great at?

I'm starting to wonder if I really don't know what I'm talking about with regards to myself, or if everyone is focusing on the larger parts of the picture, and missing the other parts?


I know who I'd listen to and that's myself. I'm stubborn though and you asked who you should listen to. So, I'd say it depends. It depends on how well your friends know you and how well they know they job they're soliciting. If they know bot really well then I would say that they might be onto something. Is there any sort of temporary assignment you could do to give it a try? Summer school? Substitute teaching? Second life? :-P

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Friday, September 25, 2009 12:56 PM

RUGBUG


Quote:

Originally posted by Dancingneko:
RUGBUG!!! Whee! How's your horse doing? Any better?

---
Okay, I've got an imponderable that I'm trying to figure out:
If your friends keep insisting that you'd be great in a different, fairly parallel field of work (e.g. teaching grades school instead of middle or high school) and you personally know that you don't fit the critieria well (not uber organized, able to tolerate one group of kids for one period per day, etc.) whom should you listen to? What you know in your gut is the truth, or what (several) friends keep insisiting that you'd be great at?

I'm starting to wonder if I really don't know what I'm talking about with regards to myself, or if everyone is focusing on the larger parts of the picture, and missing the other parts?




Hey DN! Good to see ya!

Horse is doing well. I'm riding him again and it's been lovely. I bought another one a few months ago and am struggling to get to know him, so we have good and bad days, but the last few days have been great. :D

As far as the teaching thing: Have you ever tried teaching elementary school? Are you unhappy with secondary? Could you try elementary on a trial basis?

I got my elementary credentials and I never thought I would want to teach that age. Turns out I didn't really like teaching, but it had little to do with the kids: I did like the age. I also like having the kids in my class all day. I taught 6th grade and the kids can be evil monsters at that age, but once you're in with them, they will do anything for you.

Unfortunately, this isn't an easy trial situation. It's not like everyone says you're a perfect match for so and so even though you think no-way-in-hell. In that case you just go out on a date. If you can figure out a way to 'go-on-a-date' with elementary teaching, you'll be a lot further along to knowing if would be a good match.

And if you're completely satisfied as a secondary teacher...screw 'em all and keep doing what you're doing. ;)

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Friday, September 25, 2009 3:13 PM

MSA


It's really about finding the teacher and the right fit for that teacher. When I started I totally thought I'd be an elementary teacher as I love little kids. Just so happened that I got my first job in junior high and it turned out I loved it.... it's totally different. Having been in all levels now.. I'd honestly say give it a try. It is soooooo different from what you think it'll be at each level. ( also if you come to D*C next year you can meet everyone too)


Rugbug if you knew you didn't want to teach why get the degree in that?? Just curious:)

NV I'm surprised, based on all you've been through and continue to go through that your empathy hasn't just packed up and left



To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Saturday, September 26, 2009 8:38 PM

DANCINGNEKO


@Zeek: Thanks! I'm not sure that they have a clue of teaching little kids in the States (claims to have taught elsewhere but haven't verified it yet).
Substitute teaching: Tried it (for a very short while), decided that I really didn't like the idea of being tossed into a classroom blind, since I've done that too much as a regular teacher..
@Rugbug: The part of teaching I am unhappy with is not the teaching the high school kids part, but all the other stuffs that helped to send me over the edge (decisions by admin that made no logical sense -- even if I took into consideration that there are some things that are coming down from "up high") and other various stupidities...
(I get that there's politics in anywhere you work. I refuse to believe any administrator that says "we're going to be the best _in_ _everything_" and when asked to prioritize the "high priority" goals responds with "they're all the same level -- #1.")
I know I get along great with little kids -- on a one-on-one basis...but the one time I babysat for a day, I'm the one that needed the nap...she didn't. lol.
@MsA: I've taught 7-12. I like upper classmen (I can logic with them), 7th graders, 10th graders...and then 9th graders and lastly 8th graders (tho' it might have been the school I was working at for 8th graders). All day with the same kids is tough for my nuttiness.
(and LOL. If I'm teaching, I won't be making it to D*C...I'd be in the middle of the 1st quarter.)
----
and just because:
Hunting...I don't do it (just not interested -- unless you count the very occasional time fishing with bamboo pole and bait setup), but I can appreciate the fact that there are those who do (and the bounty of it afterwards). Needing a fully loaded auto clip though is extremely excessive (and says your a lousy hunter imho). Besides, I have a friend or two who prefers hunting using bow and arrows (and a knife or two when needed).
Kel: Fresh bacon's all very well and good, but fresh, whole kalua pig (gut the whole pig, place heated rocks inside the gut, place the whole pig on top of more heated rocks in an earthen pit, cover with banana leaves, then burlap, then dirt and let cook underground for hours until just right) is far better. Teh awesomeness of it all once it's out and hot on the plate? Heaven...

Stubborn (morphed into "communication between the sexes"). Call it more likely "laziness" and the fear that "If I do it, will it become my job to always do that?" (I know that it has happened to more than a couple of people.) That or the passive-agressive "I'll do it when I'm good and ready, not when you want me to." bit.
As for one way of communicating being "better" than the other or not...they're just different. (And trying to get your point across when you communicate one way the way someone else does is very frustrating.)

Pets dying: Understand that. I noticed that there are times when I'd focus on my pet instead of my problems...and losing my last two fishes made me cry both times. I can imagine it being harder with a pet you can actually interact with.

NVG, I really gotta get to you about borrowing your luck (at least with finding MsA...so I'd find Mr. Right sometime before I'm old enough to be a grandma). Then again...*meh* Me and serious relationships seem to be a great source of entertainment for at least one PTB.

Am I caught up now on this thread? *fingers crossed*

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Sunday, September 27, 2009 4:02 AM

MSA


HUGS Neko.. yup you've rung in ( and very articulately ...are you naked too??) on all the topics

It's Sunday...NV's off to paintball and then help out relatives... I am sadly grounded due to rough roads involved so I will be home cleaning and resting...which appears to be about all I can do at this point



To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Sunday, September 27, 2009 7:42 AM

FREELANCERTEX


oooh paintball. lucky. sorry you can't tag along MsA.

RugBug!! wow long time no see.

Fair's pretty much done with, back to the dreariness of school. I think I'm gonna pass on the "Women in Love" paper, though I really should start thinking about how to take the most boring books in the world and writing about them ><;; since I unfortunately have to.


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Sunday, September 27, 2009 10:54 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN


Quote:

Originally posted by Dancingneko:
CK!!!
Quote:

Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
Hey guys,

Quick hello and goodbye. Thought I’d swing by and see what was up, got distracted by the fucking idiotic “Underworld vs. Twilight” thread, and, sorry, that’s it, I’m hanging up my browncoat for good. I can’t fucking stand the attitude of what seems like the vast majority of Buffy and Firefly fans towards Twilight, and I’m sick to fucking death of being made to feel unwelcome because I happen to like both Twilight and Firefly. So fuck it. I’m out. I’ll miss you guys.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...


NOOOO!! *grabs onto an ankle and becomes teh human ball and chain* Stay! Pwease?! *big ole sad eyes*
I'm sorry to see you leave. I can't say I like Twilight, but that's because of how cliche it came across to me as. But then again, I tend to be demanding my movies -- they have to get me involved with what's going on onscreen...
(And besides, even though I mock the show, I still love everyone I know who love it...I just don't see the attraction.)
Come back and visit us...the imponderables or teh bar-and-grill every so often...we miss you!

MsB: Okay, keep making me jealous that you guys are on the gorramn mainland and get to see everyone! *mockpout*

RUGBUG!!! Whee! How's your horse doing? Any better?

---
Okay, I've got an imponderable that I'm trying to figure out:
If your friends keep insisting that you'd be great in a different, fairly parallel field of work (e.g. teaching grades school instead of middle or high school) and you personally know that you don't fit the critieria well (not uber organized, able to tolerate one group of kids for one period per day, etc.) whom should you listen to? What you know in your gut is the truth, or what (several) friends keep insisiting that you'd be great at?

I'm starting to wonder if I really don't know what I'm talking about with regards to myself, or if everyone is focusing on the larger parts of the picture, and missing the other parts?



You should try to find out from these people what they see as being the well-fitting criteria. I have heard weird suggestions, and asked why they would think that of me. Sometimes it exposes their misunderstanding of me, and other times I learn something about what they see in me, and if what they see overrides the reluctant facets I was concentrating on.

Also sad that CK won't stay. Missed whatever anti-Twilight comments were made.

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Monday, September 28, 2009 5:51 AM

FREELANCERTEX


I'd listen to whatever my mind thinks is the most comfortable fit for me. I know I would do well in a couple of different fields, but if there are a couple of things about a particular area that lie outside my personal comfort zone (comfort being what I think I can handle without too much undue stress) that I really don't feel comfortable handling on a daily basis--even if others think I'd be great--I just steer clear of it and work in an area I'm confident in. I wouldn't completely disregard what my friends are suggesting, I'd just make it clear to them that I really don't think it's best for me if that's the case.

As for the anti-Twilight, its the "UNDERWORLD X TWILIGHT" thread. Most (maybe even all) of the people who've commented (including myself) on the thread are of the mind that Underworld was better than Twilight, but I kind of wish CK had weighed in on whether she was referring to the book, the movie, or both, because the way I took that thread was pitting movie against movie, since Underworld wasn't a book (least not that I know of). Twilight the movie was a massive disappointment compared to the book, which is why I said I liked Underworld better overall. I actually didn't find the book that bad, regardless of the "abusive relationship" comments circling around, which probably also bothered CK. I really think I have to read it again because I just don't see the abusiveness, since we're just getting one perspective and not an omniscient perspective of what's going on in everyone's minds. [/rambling] Sorry CK :\


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Monday, September 28, 2009 7:30 AM

RUGBUG


Quote:

Originally posted by MsA:

Rugbug if you knew you didn't want to teach why get the degree in that?? Just curious:)



Heh. I thought I wanted to teach. Turns out I didn't. :D My degree is actually in kinesiology with a pre-physical therapy concentration (lots of science...not quite pre-med but pretty close).

I knew a year before graduation that I didn't want to be a PT. After graduation, I did a summer program for inner-city kids and thought that was awesome and fulfilling, thus the idea to teach in the inner city. Thus the credentials.

Quote:

Originally posted by freelancertex:

As for the anti-Twilight, its the "UNDERWORLD X TWILIGHT" thread. Most (maybe even all) of the people who've commented (including myself) on the thread are of the mind that Underworld was better than Twilight, but I kind of wish CK had weighed in on whether she was referring to the book, the movie, or both, because the way I took that thread was pitting movie against movie, since Underworld wasn't a book (least not that I know of). Twilight the movie was a massive disappointment compared to the book, which is why I said I liked Underworld better overall. I actually didn't find the book that bad, regardless of the "abusive relationship" comments circling around, which probably also bothered CK. I really think I have to read it again because I just don't see the abusiveness, since we're just getting one perspective and not an omniscient perspective of what's going on in everyone's minds. [/rambling] Sorry CK :\



I read the thread and all I can think is that the two really aren't even comparable. Sure, they're both movies with Vampires and Werewolves, but apart from that? Not much similarity. It's like comparing Chicago with High School Musical. :D

As for abusive relationships? I don't see Edward/Bella as abusive at all. A little dramatic, absolutely, but not abusive.

'Course I also don't think Bella is weak and whiny. Her first act in the book is all about strength of character...and not something most 17 year olds would do (moving to Forks for her mom's sake). I guess that action colored my perception of Bella enough to wipe away a lot of other transgressions. My biggest with her is how callously she uses Jacob.

The whinging about vampire mythos gets me too. Give me a break...it's myth, why can't someone put their own spin on it? I think Whedon took quite a few liberties with vampire mythos. Truthfull, I see the upset as a lack of imagination. :shrug:


***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Monday, September 28, 2009 7:36 AM

MSA


I just wish people could be grown ups. It's fine to state that you dislike something and to give your reasons for it, but to attack someone else for their opinion is childish and pathetic. Drives me nuts when I see statements like
Oh that book is stupid...
That's 5 year old logic.
Instead try... I didn't like that book because...



To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Monday, September 28, 2009 8:07 AM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by MsA:
I just wish people could be grown ups. It's fine to state that you dislike something and to give your reasons for it, but to attack someone else for their opinion is childish and pathetic. Drives me nuts when I see statements like
Oh that book is stupid...
That's 5 year old logic.
Instead try... I didn't like that book because...


"I didn't like that book because it's stupid"?


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Monday, September 28, 2009 8:34 AM

RUGBUG


Quote:

Originally posted by Zeek:
Quote:

Originally posted by MsA:
I just wish people could be grown ups. It's fine to state that you dislike something and to give your reasons for it, but to attack someone else for their opinion is childish and pathetic. Drives me nuts when I see statements like
Oh that book is stupid...
That's 5 year old logic.
Instead try... I didn't like that book because...


"I didn't like that book because it's stupid"?




Well...you're stupid.




***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Monday, September 28, 2009 8:41 AM

MSA


LOL Zeek you're just trouble... adorable hilarious trouble


HUGS Rugbug it's soooooo good to have you on:) Any competitions coming up for you and da horsie??

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Monday, September 28, 2009 8:52 AM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by RugBug:
Quote:

Originally posted by Zeek:
Quote:

Originally posted by MsA:
I just wish people could be grown ups. It's fine to state that you dislike something and to give your reasons for it, but to attack someone else for their opinion is childish and pathetic. Drives me nuts when I see statements like
Oh that book is stupid...
That's 5 year old logic.
Instead try... I didn't like that book because...


"I didn't like that book because it's stupid"?




Well...you're stupid.





Takes one to know one!


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Monday, September 28, 2009 10:24 AM

RUGBUG


Quote:

Originally posted by Zeek:
Quote:

Originally posted by RugBug:
Quote:

Originally posted by Zeek:
Quote:

Originally posted by MsA:
I just wish people could be grown ups. It's fine to state that you dislike something and to give your reasons for it, but to attack someone else for their opinion is childish and pathetic. Drives me nuts when I see statements like
Oh that book is stupid...
That's 5 year old logic.
Instead try... I didn't like that book because...


"I didn't like that book because it's stupid"?




Well...you're stupid.





Takes one to know one!




Um...your mama!

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Monday, September 28, 2009 10:32 AM

MSA


ROTFLMAO... ok that was a much needed laugh on a difficult day.. HUGS thanks guys:)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Monday, September 28, 2009 11:11 AM

TRAVELER


Makes me wish I had seen "Underworld" and "Twilight". But I didn't and can't comment.

As for vampire movies I still find the original silent version, "Nosferatu", a fine example.




http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=28764731
Traveler

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Monday, September 28, 2009 12:23 PM

ZEEK


I don't know. I thought the Underworld movies (first 2...never saw the third) were pretty lame. The only reason to watch them is that Kate Beckinsale is smokin hot IMO. Never saw Twilight but if the movie really is worse, that's one sad excuse for a movie.

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Monday, September 28, 2009 1:16 PM

RUGBUG


Quote:

Originally posted by traveler:
Makes me wish I had seen "Underworld" and "Twilight". But I didn't and can't comment.



I liked the first Underworld, second...not so much.

Twilight movie was so-so. There was some wasted potential. I loved the books.

(Zeek's not really the audience for the books, nor are you. ;) In fact, I don't really know of any men that have read and enjoyed the books.)

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Monday, September 28, 2009 1:29 PM

TRAVELER


I will read about any subject, both fiction and non-fiction, but I have no recall of reading any vampire stories. I have seen a few films. I think the last film I saw was the Anne Rice story "Interview with a Vampire". I think I got the title right.


http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=28764731
Traveler

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Monday, September 28, 2009 5:13 PM

DANCINGNEKO


*glimpses in*
*boggles and picks up jaw...'cause...HOLY COW! What made the old-timers come back for a visit? (YAY!)*
Traveler! *waves*

Thanks for everyone .02 plat on my imponderable. Posed the question to a teacher I know who I've worked with and knows me best (my mom). She reminded me that most folks have no idea what a teacher does or how much work an elementary teacher has to do and know (math, science, social studies, reading, spelling/vocabulary, grammar, art, physical education, music -- depending on grade, that can include knowing how to teach two or more instruments...) plus all the other stuffs a teacher has to do....and that I'm right in my choice and beliefs about teaching little kids. (As for the adults that act like little kids...I've got ice cream sammiches for the ones who can show me how to behave nicely to each other...even if they disagree. *hands out sammiches to MsA, Traveller, CK, NVG, FLT,...purposely bypassing RugBug and Zeek* )


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Monday, September 28, 2009 5:32 PM

TRAVELER


Traveler sheds a tear for RugBug and Zeek.
No ice-cream for you guys.
Meanwhile smacks his lips.


http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=28764731
Traveler

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Monday, September 28, 2009 6:19 PM

FREELANCERTEX


ooh. sammiches, thanks Neko ^_^

hey, hand over the ice cream, Traveler. :P

Quote:

Originally posted by RugBug: Twilight movie was so-so. There was some wasted potential. I loved the books.
me and a friend were having that discussion the other day. she's head over heels for the books but thought the movie was awful, and as a fan of tracking book-to-movie conversions I have to agree. We were also talking about how the trailers for the new one look infinitely better--probably because they signed on a different director. A lot of times I think disappointing conversions end up so because the director is rushing, or doesn't know what s/he is doing. I think that was the case for the first movie ><;;


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Monday, September 28, 2009 7:42 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN


Quote:

Originally posted by RugBug:



(Zeek's not really the audience for the books, nor are you. ;) In fact, I don't really know of any men that have read and enjoyed the books.)



I have heard of some. I have not yet read them, but am not opposed to. I normally cannot stand fiction books written by females other than Elizabeth Gage, Elizabeth Moon, or Danielle Steele.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 4:49 AM

HELL'S KITTEN


Quote:

Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
Hey guys,

Quick hello and goodbye.

Hallo, Sweetheart.
Sorry to read that you suffer from the same asshole allergies that I do. =(
I hope to eRun into you again sometime.... 8(
Quote:

Originally posted by Dancingneko:
NOOOO!! *grabs onto an ankle and becomes teh human ball and chain* Stay! Pwease?! *big ole sad eyes*

((considers mimicking 'Neko))
If there was ever a good reason to be a ball-and-chain, this is it.


--

Hey, kids. Nice to read you all again. Was avoiding forums for a while, but since I've been hanging out in the B&G thread, I figured I may as well pop in here to say "Hi"...

...and ask for Imponderable Opinions. Heh. Secret agenda, me.

I'm just exhausted. My allergies to asshole people are going into over-drive. Here's one reason... smallified, cuz it's really fucking long....

In March, someone on a different Firefly fan forum asked me for a huge favour: she was having a charity event with a "steampunk" theme, and desperately needed to borrow some things from me. More than that, she needed me to send them to her over-night. So I did. I spent that entire evening sorting through my possessions, packing them up, and took them all to the Post Office the next afternoon; over-night delivery of the heavy package ended up costing over $50. She received everything and was so gracious and delighted.

Then, about a month later, I left the forum for unrelated reasons. ((sniffle, wheeze, cough cough cough)) Since communication with this person dropped off to nearly nothing, I decided to ask for my stuff back. I mean, it had been nearly a whole month already, the event was over, so there was no good reason to hold on to my property. Email after email had been ignored for about a month - May - before she responded. Unfortunately, her response was short and contained no real information. Week after week after week, I sent emails and received nearly nothing back from her. On rare occassion, she would finally respond, promising to send my stuff back to me. One time she even promised to send my stuff back Wednesday; I came to find out recently that she decided to wear my stuff to a convention that Saturday instead.

Throughout all this time, when she deigned to respond, she would give me nothing but excuse after excuse. After about four months of this bullshit, I decided to make it a little more public by sending her questions via Twitter. Oops. Apparently that was the wrong thing to do and ended up making me the bad guy in the situation. I guess public embarassment is unacceptable and I am a horrible person for doing it.

Oh well. So, after four months of nearly begging her to return my property (mind, most of it was one-of-a-kind hand-made or antique stuff, all in costing over $1K... so, no, I wasn't going to let it go), she finally found her way to a Post Office and sent my property back.

Well.

Most of it.

I sent her an email the following week to explain that she forgot at least two items, and asked her to please send them back. No response. Emailed again. No response. Emailed again. Finally, she responded. We discussed the option that, since Post Offices are such elusive hard to get to creatures, she could always bring my items to Dragon*Con if she absolutely could not get to a post office. No committment from her either way. Dragon*Con comes and goes, and with the busy weekend plus my being sick for one of the days, I couldn't find her.

The weekend after D*C, I emailed her (to both of her accounts) explaining why I couldn't find her and asking that she send my stuff back. No response. A week later, I emailed her again. No response. This past Sunday, I went so far as to send her a message to her Facebook account, since she's just the awesomest little social butterfly ever. Still no response.

This has literally been a SEVEN MONTH ordeal, with virtually no communication from this woman, with being chastised by her for trying to protect myself in asking that my property be returned, and it's still going on.

And this woman is an active member of the community; it would actually surprise some of you to find out who she is and what she does in the community. Some of you know her. Some of you think she's just the awesomest thing on the planet. But in reality, she's been lying to me, treating me like shit, walking all over me and taking advantage of my generosity and patience in the first place. Seven months.

And I am really fucking tired of it.

This is the short version of it all. I have all the emails, since Gmail doesn't seem to run out of storage space, so I have documented evidence that I am neither exaggerating nor fabricating any portion of this situation; I'm certainly willing to post all the details showing that the correspondences have been about 10 of my emails to every 1 of hers; I can point to the email that promises the return of my stuff followed by the photograph (by a third party stranger, no less) showing her in costume with my stuff just days after the promise was made to return it.


So the question is: do I publicly out this woman? Make you all aware of what sort of person she is so you can protect yourselves from ever being taken advantage of by her? Publicly shame her into (hopefully) following through with her moral and legal obligations? Or do I continue to exercise patience and discretion, and continue to get fucked over by this cunt?

You cannot begin to imagine how incredibly tiresome this all is. The very last thing I need is more aggrivation and stress from an online community that was once supposed to be a pleasant escape from real life bullshit.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 5:18 AM

NICODEMUS


Knowing who it is you're talking about, and having not only been on the same end of what I think of as 'entitlement issues' as you, but also having asked around and found various people that have ended up in similar situations (some official announcements/threads/AGM minutes from her organisation also add public/legal proof of precedence), I have no problem with trying the name'n'shame route, although I'm thinking that it might be better (although expensive) to just go straight to lawyers.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 5:29 AM

RUGBUG


HK: that really sucks. It makes me hate people even more. You go out on a limb, trying to be helpful and friendly and what do you get in return? Jack-ass-ery. I haven't personally been in your situation, but have been in a community that was screwed over by a trusted member. And it happens over and over.

I would support an outing. You'll get some people who don't believe you and will argue back, but it sounds like you've been more than gracious in your 1)lending of the items, 2)shipping of the items, 3)requests for them to be returned. People need to be responsible.

My two main boards do a secret santa gift exchange over Christmas. One board will not out members who don't send the gift. The other does. I can't say the second has a better success rate as it is a much smaller board/community so there is more pressure to follow-thru, but as a smaller community, even small infractions have more impact. An outing may work for you for that reason.

E-mail her first, telling her you will out her if you don't have the items in your possession in X amount of days.

There really is no excuse to be an asshat.

(and can I say I'm sort of disgusted that she would wear items after her event was over without your express consent. That's rotten.)

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 5:32 AM

FREELANCERTEX


I love it when people do that. Jesus, how hard is it to go to the post office? It takes about five seconds.

Don't really know what outing her would do, other than really piss her off, and get everyone else on her case, which may or may not work :P I'm kinda tetchy on these sorts of things 'cause I don't like making people mad, but seven months and almost never returning your emails is a bit ridiculous. You were being kind by letting her borrow them and she shouldn't be so reluctant to send them back. I'd say give her an ultimatum before doing anything rash.


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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 7:14 AM

ZEEK


I say you should out her. The rest of the community deserves to know. That way they won't make the same mistake. Plus if some of us know her then we can put more pressure on her to return the items.

Heck it makes me a little nervous that I just gave the key to my apartment to a well respected female member of the browncoat community a couple weeks ago to watch my cat. If it turns out to be the same person I might have thought differently about it.



*shares Stephen Colbert icecream with RugBug to thwart DancingNeko*

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 7:20 AM

RUGBUG


Quote:

Originally posted by Zeek:

*shares Stephen Colbert icecream with RugBug to thwart DancingNeko*



Sounds like a plan.

And pbffft to DN.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 8:49 AM

MSA


We all know I am usually the one in favor of finding a solution that's kind and gentle... but I say OUT HER! I have lent a variety of things to people and they've all been lovely about returning them ( some even came all the way from Australia to do it.. HUGS Nico) and I would really like to know , before I go off and loan precious things, if there is someone who has so little regard for decency and courtesy. I agree that you should email her and say You have 48 hours to send me a tracking number showing you've shipped my belongings if this does not happen then I will publish the emails and show everyone who you truly are.
Natural consequences are important and how will she ever learn to behave better if she has no consequences for her actions? So really you're just doing her one more favor.
HUGS HK

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 10:06 AM

HELL'S KITTEN


Thanks, guys, I really appreciate the responses.
Sometimes I find outside perspective to be invaluable.
Quote:

Originally posted by MsA:
I agree that you should email her and say You have 48 hours to send me a tracking number showing you've shipped my belongings if this does not happen then I will publish the emails and show everyone who you truly are.

I can sympathise with this idea, MsA and RugBug (hello, Sweetheart! ^^) ... but isn't seven months already enough of a time-based ultimatum?

Nico -
Regarding lawyers, I've already met with one (another expense for this act of kindness that I won't get back) and know exactly what I would have to do. I have plenty of money and vacation time to continue down that legal pathway, but I'm really just too tired right now to consider it; too much going on. Yes, it's absolutely not financially worth it, but I'm just really fucking stupid when it comes to What's Right... and I mean, Harry Dresden kind of stupid.......

Zeek (hiya, nice to eSee you again) -
All I will say right now is this: don't lend your keys (or anything else) to any "Browncoats" from Texas. XD

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 10:28 AM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:

Zeek (hiya, nice to eSee you again) -
All I will say right now is this: don't lend your keys (or anything else) to any "Browncoats" from Texas. XD


Too late. Now I'm super curious. If it turns out to be anyone I know I'd be happy to mediate as best I can. Not that I'm bestest friends with any of the browncoats I know. Still can't hurt to try.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 10:54 AM

DANCINGNEKO


*gives HK an (eHug)*
Okay...that well and truly sucks. I'd like to claim that some of it is because that person is busy with a ton of things, but really...refusing several emails and etc. and acting like a stuck up little... *deep breath* Yeah, unfortunately, that board is becoming very clique-ish and annoying.
I agree with the suggestion of giving her one last note with a deadline of when you need to get it by. That way, she can't bitch and whine about how mean you are to her for publicly embarrasing her on the internet for your stuff and how petty you are...
What about billing her for the items she still has? Calculate costs of materials, time put in, etc., and send her a note and a bill stating that since she hasn't returned the items to you in a timely manner, she has the option of either paying for the items or mailing them back to you by xxx date, and giving you a tracking number to follow up on. (Be mean, give her a week, week-and a half from the day you mail the bill.) *Disclaimer: this might be opening up a can of worms that I shouldn't, but I thought it would be another way to do it.

*rolls eyes at Zeek and RugBug* Read it again you two sillies...(and besides, the cooler there *points to cooler, the one marked "FOR ZEEK AND RUGBUG"* has both of yours when you both stopped acting like each others' sibling...) *eyeroll* But if you don't want it...

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 11:15 AM

HELL'S KITTEN


Quote:

Originally posted by Zeek:
Too late. Now I'm super curious. If it turns out to be anyone I know I'd be happy to mediate as best I can. Not that I'm bestest friends with any of the browncoats I know. Still can't hurt to try.

Huh.
That's interesting.
If it turns out that you know this person, and are friends with them, would that affect your view of the situation?

--Curiosity's Kitten

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 11:34 AM

TRAVELER


Our economy is so bad even illegal imigrants are bailing out of United States.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33069748/ns/us_news-life/?GT1=43001


http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=28764731
Traveler

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 11:38 AM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:
Quote:

Originally posted by Zeek:
Too late. Now I'm super curious. If it turns out to be anyone I know I'd be happy to mediate as best I can. Not that I'm bestest friends with any of the browncoats I know. Still can't hurt to try.

Huh.
That's interesting.
If it turns out that you know this person, and are friends with them, would that affect your view of the situation?

--Curiosity's Kitten


It would make me way more skeptical of her. Back when I first met the Austin browncoats there were a bunch of let's say "core" members. Then at one point there was a falling out and 3 of them left in a huff. I never got details about what went down but apparently they accused this lady of something and she says she could never forgive them for it. That seemed really weird to me considering they were so buddy buddy before that.

I've sort of put that out of my mind, but if this was about her I'd really start to wonder if she's just a big fake. Still it would surprise me. She seems like such a nice and genuine person.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 1:05 PM

MSA


HUGS HK you've been very patient and you really deserve better... do what you have to do. If it were me I'd pretty much figure it was my own damn fault if you busted me since i had ample time and warnings and chose to act as though I could do what I wanted with impunity...

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 5:36 PM

NICODEMUS


Quote:

Originally posted by Zeek:
Quote:

Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:

Zeek (hiya, nice to eSee you again) -
All I will say right now is this: don't lend your keys (or anything else) to any "Browncoats" from Texas. XD


Too late.



If you merely got away with having your furniture rearranged, you got off lightly.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 8:21 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN


Quote:

Originally posted by Nicodemus:
Knowing who it is you're talking about, and having not only been on the same end of what I think of as 'entitlement issues' as you, but also having asked around and found various people that have ended up in similar situations (some official announcements/threads/AGM minutes from her organisation also add public/legal proof of precedence), I have no problem with trying the name'n'shame route, although I'm thinking that it might be better (although expensive) to just go straight to lawyers.



HK: many forums have enough sense to protect the honest membership by posting the names of unethical and dishonest persons misusing the forums to further spread their phony 'cred' and reel in other unsuspecting victims.

post so we all shall be safer, as a public service. If, at some point she makes you whole, post she has done so and how long it took.

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 4:25 AM

MSA


And it's morning....

Looks like we all agree HK:) HUGS and more HUGS

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 4:36 AM

HELL'S KITTEN


Quote:

Originally posted by jewelstaitefan:
HK: many forums have enough sense to protect the honest membership by posting the names of unethical and dishonest persons misusing the forums to further spread their phony 'cred' and reel in other unsuspecting victims.

That's a very good point.
Thanks for your input.

I'ma get my facts in better order first, though, in (futile) hopes of minimizing arguments... ((sigh))

---

For today's rant, WTF is wrong with people??? Oh, wait, that was yesterday's rant, too..... Specifically, I'm talking about the recent Polanski bullshit. "Hello, I drugged and raped a 13 year old girl, admitted it in court, and fled the country before the court could reneg on the plea agreement and sentence me properly (i.e. the way they would if I wasn't a wealthy, famous film guy). How dare you arrest me now!!" And the protests, including Woody fucking Allen. Yeah. Who cares if he drugged and raped a 13 year old girl, he's a goddamned filmmaker! That, like, makes everything okay, especially cuz other filmmakers say so!

Srsly, WTF.

It's nice and all that the victim has moved on with her life, and I sympathise with how incredibly disruptive this all is for her yet again... but he drugged and raped a 13 year old girl and fled the country to escape sentencing. If it were just another no-name criminal who did that, would all these protesters and filmmakers be screaming to free him?

Christ. This is why I hate people.....

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 4:56 AM

MSA


Thank you!!! I get so tired of people saying stuff like well it was a long time ago.. um this is just the one time he got caught. No offender does it just once... trust me he's done it more. I'd say I can't believe the French are defending him, but.. oh yeah they're French.
HUGS HK

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 5:27 AM

ZEEK


This is why I avoid the news most of the time. I really don't need to hear about these horrible things that go on in the world. After a while it just gets too depressing.

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 5:40 AM

FREELANCERTEX


Can't disagree, HK. This is one of the reasons why I don't buy into celebrity. Who the fuck cares if you're famous? If you did something wrong you did something wrong, and you have to answer for what you did. Those are the consequences, plain and simple.

People suck sometimes.

and yeah, that's also why I avoid the news as much as possible.



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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 11:46 AM

TRAVELER


The only reason it is thirty years old is the French would not hand him over. So arguing the time span is foolish. They say he has never done it again. Were not talking shop lifting here, this is raping a thirteen year old. These arguments don't hold water with me.


http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=28764731
Traveler

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 3:52 PM

MSA


The bodies will be identified once the rhinos spit out their wallets( ok that just made me laugh.. Simpson's tonight)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 4:30 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


It's that time.

New Thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=2&t=40206
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The country is making a big mistake not teaching kids to cook and raise a garden and build fires.
-Loretta Lynn

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