Things I Am Not Allowed To Do On Serenity by FrellingBlonde

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do On Serenity

POSTED BY: FRELLINGBLONDE
UPDATED: Tuesday, July 20, 2010 17:06
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Saturday, July 10, 2010 9:02 PM

So there's the classic "Skippy" list. I've seen "Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts," and "Things I am not allowed to do in the TARDIS," but I have yet to see one for our BDHs.

1. If the thought of something makes me laugh for longer than ten seconds, I am not allowed to do it.
2. If the thought of something makes River laugh for longer than ten seconds, inform the captain. Immediately.
*This also applies to Jayne.
3. Not allowed to refer to Simon as "Dr. Feelgood." Only Kaylee gets to do that.
4. "Non-flammable" is not a challenge.
5. I am not Countess Anastasia Consuela Beaverhausen of Londinium and I do not have a shiny hat.
6. Not allowed to try and implement "Naked Wednesdays."
*Or any other day of the week.
7. Pants are never optional.

Anyone want to contribute?

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Saturday, July 10, 2010 10:19 PM

SHINYGOODGUY

Dude, you a Will & Grace fan?

Anastasia Consuela Beaverhausen (one of Karen's many alter-egos). Me too.

1. Turn your back on YoSafBridg
2. Cow-tipping
3. Call the Feds for anything
4. No touching guns
5. Do not invite God
6. Never ask Zoe to cook
7. Never insult Wash

SGG, over & out.

Tawabawho?

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Sunday, July 11, 2010 5:56 AM

BYTEMITE

Switch Simon and Jayne's laundry, and put them in the wrong bunks.

Switch Zoe and Inara's laundry, and put them in the wrong bunks.

Switch Inara and Wash's laundry, and put them in the wrong bunks.

Steal the captain's laundry, and put it out the airlock.

Do the laundry, ever.

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Sunday, July 11, 2010 7:22 AM

FRELLINGBLONDE

1. Not allowed to offer to share my stash of Oaty Bars with River.
2.I am a part of a crew that tangles with Reavers, the Alliance, and YoSaffBridge on a regular basis. I am perfectly capable of killing a spider in the shower by myself.
3. Not allowed to sing "The Hero of Canton" every time we enter a bar.
*Or hum it.
*Interpretive dance, while impressive, is also not allowed.

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Sunday, July 11, 2010 2:00 PM

FLORALBUNNY

All vuvuzelas are to be secured when the Captain or Mr. Cobb are aboard.

bun

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Sunday, July 11, 2010 6:25 PM

FRELLINGBLONDE

1. After an unfortunate incident involving River and necessitating the use of her "safeword," vuvuzelas are no longer allowed on the ship.
2. "Because I'm drunk" is not an appropriate response to any questioned posed by the captain.
3. Not allowed to attempt to trade Jayne for weapons, ammo, supplies, or information.
4. Not allowed to paint a smiley face on the side of the ship.
* Or a pirate flag.
* I am no longer allowed to paint.
5. Not allowed to declare my bunk a sovereign nation.
* Or demand diplomatic immunity because my bunk is a sovereign nation.
6. When Kaylee and Simon say they have heard every possible joke about "playing doctor," "fixing the engines," or any variation thereof, they do not mean it as a challenge.
* Do I really want to annoy the woman who can mess with the gravity in my bunk or the man who is responsible for putting me back together when I get myself shot, maimed, etc?

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Monday, July 12, 2010 2:45 AM

SHINYGOODGUY

beatupplenty, I got a good chuckle out of No. 5.

I just thought of another one;

Never stand near Serenity's engine intake.
Never leave the grenades.

SGG

Tawabawho?

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Monday, July 12, 2010 12:09 PM

FRELLINGBLONDE

1. Not allowed to sing showtunes.
* Or commercial jingles.
* No longer allowed to sing, period.

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Thursday, July 15, 2010 11:52 AM

FLORALBUNNY

Quote:
Originally posted by FrellingBlonde:
1. Not allowed to sing showtunes.
* Or commercial jingles.
* No longer allowed to sing, period.

WHAT?? No show-tunes?
How very un-Jossian.
I think that's a rule we'll honor in the breach.

bun
tra-la-la

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Tuesday, July 20, 2010 2:03 PM

DRAGO

This is a list I appended to '70 things I am no longer allowed to do in the Star Wars RPG'. This was '15 things I am no longer allowed to do in the Serenity RPG.'

1: If I am the pilot, it is expected that I will begin with some initial skill and not just expect to 'wing it and learn as I go'. The same goes for Hired Muscle and guns, and Doctors and medical ability.
2: No, I may not just stuff my doctor's bag with duct tape and leave it at that.
3: Yes, a single roll is acceptable - but it confers no bonuses to my on-the-spot body patching abilities.
4: If the toys on the bridge are such a distraction, they can always be melted into spare parts - I'd do well to remember that when I fail to hear the captain because the marine is screaming too loudly as the alien kills it.
5: The next time the religious passenger finds his texts replaced with porn mags, and the hired muscle finds his porn mags replaced with religious texts, I will be shot in the foot on general principle before any initial investigation begins.
6: I will not - WILL NOT! - greet any Companion with "How's tricks?" They teach them MARTIAL ARTS, did you know that? I didn't. Ow!
7: Pointing out to the hired muscle that they have the least job security is, frequently, a quick way to lower my own.
8: Greeting Alliance customs inspectors by playing patriotic Independent music through the ship's loudspeaker system as they board and claiming I accidentally had my music files misnamed is generally not a great way to begin the inspection. However hilarious it may prove at a later date.
9: "Screw the Alliance like a Sihnon whore" is not an acceptable catchphrase in campaigns played after the war.
10: Should I see any pale, thin waifs looking unsurely around themselves and obviously in a confused, frightened state of mind, I will have the forethought to back away slowly while thinking of absolutely nothing, and then quickly get the Hell off that planet.
11: Using the emergency band to put out a warning that Reavers are inbound on a planet is a great way to land and go about my naughty business. I should however ensure that I do not actually draw the attention of nearby Reavers with said broadcast.
12: Not allowed to keep the Reaver that snuck onto our ship on a chain in the cargo hold just to surprise Alliance customs inspectors with. Also, teaching it fetch is a questionable proposition at best, and I should quit trying because the rest of the crew finds it incredibly disturbing.
13: I will not blow the money we earned on our last five transport runs on a single cannon for the ship. They are illegal for civilian spacecraft and no, the captain does not think it could be properly disguised as a satellite dish. (And the Captain's thoughts override those of the on-board grease monkey.)
14: No more calling the mechanic a grease monkey. He is not greasy and he does not have a tail. Though he does keep leaving banana peels on the top rung of the ladder access to my quarters...
15: If I am the day's designated cook, and I realize we are out of canned protein, I will not then proceed to cook and serve the box the canned protein came in on the basis that it's almost the same thing.

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Tuesday, July 20, 2010 3:03 PM

BYTEMITE

Not allowed to raid the doctor's infirmary to address aforementioned food shortage.

Corollary: Those aren't chocolates, and the doctor hasn't been holding out on us.

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